2
Pack Mentality
Tonks apparated to the alley by her muggle block of flats. She entered her flat and looked around. Should she make some effort to clean up before Dumbledore arrived? Nah. He hadn't recruited her for her domestic skills. She put on a Weird Sisters album, got herself a butterbeer, sprawled on her couch, which was purple and orange paisley and very comfortable, and waited. It had been a long day already, and there was no telling how much longer it would get once Dumbledore arrived. She considered changing out of her uniform, but Dumbledore could be here any minute, and she didn't want to be caught half-changed.
When the doorbell rang, she saw Dumbledore through the peephole and let him in. He was shadowed by a grayish-brown slouch of a man, who immediately put his hands over his ears. Tonks turned off the music and he cautiously uncovered his ears.
"Wotcher, Dumbledore! Who's your friend?"
"Allow me to introduce Remus Lupin, whom I've just invited to rejoin the Order of the Phoenix. Remus, this is Tonks, a new addition to our Order. She came with the highest recommendation from Alastor Moody."
"Pleased to meet you," said Lupin quietly, eyes taking her in from pink hair, to young face, to Auror's uniform, to combat boots.
"Same here," said Tonks, wondering what use Dumbledore had for this thin, shabby man with a scarred face. He had the slouch of a tall man who didn't want to stand out.
"I believe his contributions will be invaluable to our cause," continued Dumbledore. "His help was essential during the war—"
Lupin involuntarily interrupted this praise with a disbelieving snort.
"And I'm sure he will serve us well again," Dumbledore blithely continued as if he hadn't heard. "He'll be going on a mission this very evening, infiltrating a werewolf pack. He needs your help."
"Him? In a werewolf pack?"
"Yes."
"Hell yeah, he needs a bodyguard. I mean, look at him. I'm glad to help, Dumbledore. I'll keep him safe. Just give me a moment to change out of this uniform and conceal some more weapons and we'll be on our way."
"My apologies, I didn't make myself clear. Lupin will be going alone. As you noticed, he doesn't look like someone you'd expect to see in a werewolf pack as anything other than dinner. He needs to blend in unobtrusively so he can spy undisturbed. I thought that you, with your great skills in disguise, could make him look a bit more like a werewolf before I send him off."
"This is the raw material I'm supposed to turn into a werewolf, Dumbledore? Is this one of your pretending-to-be-crazy-so-people-don't-realize-how-clever-you-are moments? He looks nothing like a werewolf, he looks like a, I don't know, a professor or something. I can't work miracles."
Dumbledore looked at Lupin as if he somehow hadn't realized this before, then turned back to Tonks. "I have complete faith in your abilities, Tonks. I'll be back in half an hour to take him to his mission." He left.
Tonks fixed her gaze on Lupin, who shrank under it. "Why'd he pick you for this mission?"
"I have some experience with dark creatures," Lupin said nervously.
"Such as?" she demanded.
"Well, my father was an exterminator. 'Lupin Pest Control, No Job Too Big or Too Small.'" He paused for a moment. "In retrospect, some jobs may have been too big."
Before she could express her skepticism of this credential, he added, "Dumbledore told me that you were the one who sent him a patronus about Umbridge's new anti-werewolf law. Thank you very much for bringing this to his attention. Most people would consider an anti-werewolf law to be beneath their concern, or would support it."
"Yeah, well, have you read the thing? It claims to keep us safe from werewolves, but really it's just an excuse to expand the Ministry's power in the name of safety. Under this law, humans can be treated as if we were no better than werewolves, with no human rights, until proven innocent. That's just wrong."
"Oh," said Lupin. "Yes, this law does infringe on human rights. It's terrible. You're quite right. Anyway, thank you for sending that patronus to Dumbledore. That's what prompted him to contact me after all these years, to let me rejoin the Order. There's a use for me again. This means the world to me. I can't thank you enough."
"I can't believe the mission he's sending you on though," she said. "Aurors wouldn't attempt to approach a werewolf pack without a large assault force. Dumbledore can't just send you in alone!"
"Why not?" asked Lupin.
"You could die!" explained Tonks.
There was a lull in the conversation after this. Lupin broke it to ask, "How is that a problem?"
There was another lull in the conversation.
"Oh!" said Lupin, as though just realizing something. "My death wouldn't create any more work for the Order. There won't be any call to bring my body back for a funeral. Anyone who might have mourned me died twelve years ago, as all my friends were Order members, and I was the only one among my friends who failed to die for our cause." He seemed dissatisfied with the results of his speech on her expression, which was not reassured.
She was about to take another swig of her butterbeer when she realized she wasn't being a good hostess. "Can I get you one? Or water or anything?"
"Oh, no thank you. I don't need anything, I'm fine."
Fine was not the word she would have chosen. "What is your mission exactly?" she asked.
"Simple, easy. Infiltrate a werewolf pack, look around and listen, then come back and copy my memories into a Pensieve for others to examine. Dumbledore needs to know how they're taking Umbridge's new law."
"You have a strange definition of simple and easy," said Tonks. "Werewolves are dangerous you know."
"More dangerous than humans?" he asked, disbelieving.
"Why is he sending you instead of me?" she said. "I could look more like a werewolf than you. Look." She transformed, making her features more wolfish, sharpening her teeth, adding a brutal strength to her jaw, a golden glint to her eyes. Her hair, from roots to ends, darkened from pink to dull brown, grew matted and greasy as it reached to her shoulders.
Lupin jumped back. "You're a metamorphmagus!" he said in amazement. He further explained, "That's the rare ability to magically transform seemingly intelligent people into idiots who say blatantly obvious things like 'You're a metamorphmagus!' instead of anything interesting or original."
"It's a curse," she laughed.
"You have my utmost sympathies."
"Thank you." She smiled with her sharp teeth. "So that's settled then. We'll explain to Dumbledore that I'm going on this mission instead of you."
"What? No. Absolutely not. And he'd never agree to it."
"Why?" she demanded.
"You said it yourself: it's dangerous," said Lupin, as if this was an answer.
"I've faced danger before," said Tonks, annoyed.
"You're an Auror," said Lupin.
"Well, a trainee, I'll complete my training soon—"
"You're an important source of information from the Ministry of Magic, so Dumbledore can keep track of what the Auror Department's up to. Not to mention this extremely useful metamorphmagus skill of yours. Dumbledore needs you to stay alive. You're too important to risk. I'm expendable." Lupin looked like a mild-mannered professor patiently explaining an obvious point to a slow student.
"What the hell do you mean, expendable? No human being is expendable."
Lupin paused before continuing his patient explanation. "If something's worth fighting for, it's worth dying for." He seemed compelled to try to smooth down the feathers he'd ruffled. He tried another tack. "I'll do my best to survive this mission, as the information has to get back to Dumbledore, but if I don't, no harm done. Don't be upset. It's really not a problem."
Tonks sighed, and her face settled into its usual heart shape, her hair into its usual pink spikes. "Well, I guess Dumbledore knows what he's doing. All right, let's see your werewolf face."
"My what?"
"You know, try to look like a werewolf. Many people don't know this, but they actually start off looking almost human for most of each month. Only the ones that let the wolf take over completely and have been feral for years have the fangs and everything even in their human guises, but you can at least do the expression. Come on. Look dangerous."
"Um," said Lupin. "I believe that Dumbledore brought me here only so I could acquire clothing that would better suit the role I'll be playing. He said you have quite an extensive collection. He didn't mention anything about me needing acting coaching."
Tonks shook her head. "It isn't enough to just have the right clothes. You need to really play the part. If those werewolves suspect you're really human, you'll be dead meat. So come on, really get into character. You're a werewolf! You're fierce! You're bloodthirsty! You're a ruthless killer!"
Lupin tried. Tonks buried her face in her hands. "Argh, you just don't have it in you. Look, your face is like this:" She quickly transformed her face to match his exactly, including every feature, scar, and mild, slightly worried expression. "Look, instead of that, do this." The face she was wearing suddenly smoldered with a deep rage.
"Is the pink hair a requirement? Since I don't think it's my color."
"Optional. I'll do a boy color so as not to threaten your masculinity." As he watched, her pink hair turned blue, via purple, from the roots to the ends. She glared at him with his own face from under an absurd crest of blue spikes.
"You can do this. Same bone structure, same muscles, just different expression. Now you try it," she said encouragingly. She looked at him trying and laughed. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but what was Dumbledore thinking? Let's put the face aside for a moment and see your werewolf walk."
"My what?"
"You know, prowl around like you're hunting for your next victim. Go on."
Lupin walked around the room a bit. He got distracted by the bookcase.
"Werewolves aren't bookish!" she scolded.
He gave a guilty start.
"Look, like this." She looked his body up and down and transformed fully. She had to wrestle off her combat boots, as they wouldn't accommodate his feet, but her brightly striped socks stretched to fit. Her
auror's uniform, which at least was unisex, looked too short on his body. She stalked around the room in a menacing way. The effect was unfortunately spoiled when she tripped over her own, or rather his, feet, and toppled to the floor.
Lupin rushed to help her up, but she scorned his assistance and lurched up under her own power. "How do you walk on these things?" she complained, indicating her copies of his feet, which were shrinking down to her usual size. The rest of her returned to normal (if pink hair can be considered such) but the glare continued unchanged, directed at him as if his big feet had tripped her on purpose.
"Sorry," he said automatically.
"Anyway, now you know what you're aiming for, so you try."
He tried, as she called suggestions to him to help him get into character. "The vicious instincts of a wolf in the body of a man. Your true self is physically revealed only at the full moon, but you are always, essentially, a beast. Aargh, this isn't working at all. I should make you read that book by Professor Picardy, but we've only got half an hour."
"Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don't Deserve to Live," he said. "I noticed it on your shelf. I've read it already. I appreciate your concern, but Dumbledore did pick me for this mission because he believes my qualifications are sufficient. All I need from you is clothing to help me look the part." He was starting to sound a little testy.
She sighed, or perhaps her exhalation was more of a snort. "Maybe different clothes would help. What have I got that a ruthless killer would wear?" She suddenly looked pale, both face and hair, but quickly recovered. "Well, it's about time I found a use for it, it's just been taking up space in my closet. Wait here." She rushed off to a back room and soon returned holding a—
"Where did you get that?" exclaimed Lupin, showing much more emotion than she'd seen from him so far.
She looked at the black leather jacket in her hands. "It's, it was my cousin's," she said. "He won't be needing it. It's been in my closet for twelve years."
"You're Sirius Black's cousin?" exclaimed Lupin, backing away from her.
She started in horror at the sound of the name. "It's not like I approve of what he did! I had no idea what he was planning!" she shouted, not expecting to have to fight back tears today. "He acted so strange when he came to visit us that day, and he forgot his jacket when he left, to go, to... If we'd known he was going to kill all those people we would have stopped him!"
Lupin had backed away enough to hit the couch, on which he sat down weakly. "Don't blame yourself," he said. "I had no idea what he was planning either."
Tonks brushed a bit of dust off the jacket. "You knew Sirius?" she asked.
Lupin shook his head. "He was my best friend since I was eleven. I shared a dorm with him for seven years. I found out too late that I hadn't really known him at all."
They sat in silence for a bit. "Give me that jacket," said Lupin.
Tonks handed it to him, surprised.
Slowly, carefully, Lupin took off his own faded brown tweed jacket, put on the black leather one, and looked at himself in the full-length mirror by the door. A small note affixed to the mirror's frame at eye level said, "Remember ears."
"You're right," he said. "This does make me look like a ruthless killer. If Sirius weren't safely in prison right now, I'd kill him myself. The jacket works."
"It really does," said Tonks, who was a brave woman, but found herself clutching a pillow on the couch. Lupin undeniably looked like someone contemplating murder. Gold sparks seemed to blaze in his brown eyes when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Lupin caught her gaze in the mirror, then turned to look at her directly. "Thank you," he said. The gold glints before must have been a trick of the light, as his eyes, looking at her sympathetically, were clearly brown. "And I'm very sorry for upsetting you. I just wasn't expecting to be reminded of Sirius after all these years." He transferred his pocket contents, his wand and a muggle chocolate bar, from his brown jacket to the black. Then he sat as far as possible from her on the couch and looked at his hands, which, like his face, were netted with scars. "None of us can choose our blood. We can choose only our path." He looked at Tonks again. "I don't hold you at all responsible for the actions of your family."
"The noble and most ancient house of Black," she said with an eye roll. "Bunch of inbred nutters, the lot of them. I'm lucky enough never to have met most of them. They disowned my mum when she married a muggle-born. Sirius was the only one who ever had anything to do with us, but of course his name had been burned off the family tapestry too. I'm pretty sure I've escaped the family curse of being a nasty piece of work."
Lupin looked frozen. "That's what Sirius used to say, 'The noble and most ancient house of Black,' with an eye roll exactly like that."
"Merlin's balls, I must have got that from him. My mum invited him over all the time when I was a kid. He told the greatest stories, and let me sit on his lap. He just seemed so... I mean, he'd tell me he was pure evil, and going to corrupt me with his dark magic, but he really seemed like he was joking, you know? He said he was going to follow the family tradition and marry his cousin to keep the noble blood pure, and we'd have lots of cute little insane inbred babies. Don't look at me like that, it was a joke, at least it seemed like that's how he meant it. We obviously wouldn't marry each other, I was just a kid. He was much older than me. Still is, of course. Do you think he's still alive? Twelve years is a long time for anyone to survive in Azkaban, but you'd think it would have been in the paper if he'd died."
"So," said Lupin. He took a deep and somewhat shaky breath. "How did you come to know so much about werewolves?"
"Auror training," she said proudly. "We learn about all sorts of dark creatures.
"So this is all straight out of the official curriculum, is it?"
"Yes," she said. "And we all just got some extra training, because Umbridge's new Protection Against Werewolves Act really cracks down on inhuman beings trying to pass as humans. And of course, werewolves were covered in Defense Against the Dark Arts at school. We had to know how to identify and kill werewolves to pass the N.E.W.T.s. I aced that test."
"I did well on it also," said Lupin. "I know how to give the answers people want. But real life isn't a standardized test. I was just wondering how many werewolves you've met in person."
"Met in person?" She laughed to show her appreciation of the wittiness of his odd word choices. "I have seen them in real life. I saw some that my Auror colleagues captured in a raid."
"And the ones you saw looked angry, did they?"
"Yes," she said. "Ferocious."
"Ah. Dumbledore will be back soon, right?" said Lupin, standing up and starting to pace. Tonks was proud to see he had the werewolf walk down. He paced like a caged predator. When he wasn't slouching, he was intimidatingly tall.
"No rush," said Tonks. She laughed. "You'd better not let any Aurors see you like this, or they'll round you up like a real feral werewolf."
Lupin turned his back to her and stared out the window, gripping either side of the window frame with his scarred hands as if to stop himself from leaping through the glass. He took some deep breaths. "Lovely weather," he said.
She looked at him admiringly. "I'm sorry."
Lupin spun to face her. "For what?"
"I really underestimated your acting skill. You don't even look like you're trying to look angry, you look like you're furious and trying to calm down."
"I don't recall asking your opinion," said Lupin with a slight growl.
"You've even got the voice perfect!" admired Tonks.
The doorbell rang. Lupin leaped to peer through the peephole, then wrenched the door open. "Let's go," he said to Dumbledore.
"An amazing transformation!" said Dumbledore. "I knew I could count on you, Tonks. Thank you."
Lupin tried to leave, but Dumbledore blocked the doorway. "We're not in such a hurry that we have to rush off without saying goodbye."
Lupin turned to Tonks. He must have at least a touch of metamorphmagus ability, she thought, to get that wolfish yellow glint in his eyes.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, Tonks. Thank you for all your help. I hope we'll meet again. Goodbye," said Lupin, after a few measured breaths.
"But if not, no problem, right?" she quipped.
"Of course," said Lupin agreeably. "Although I apologize in advance in case I can't return this jacket."
"Goodbye, Tonks," said Dumbledore. "And don't worry, I'll have more adventurous assignments for you in the future."
Tonks smiled, for Dumbledore knew her well. Then he and Lupin left.
Tonks looked at the faded brown tweed jacket draped across the arm of her couch. "You'd better come back, Lupin," she muttered, thumping it with her fist. "I don't want this taking up space in my closet for years."
—-
He was back the next evening.
"Thank you very much for the use of your jacket," Lupin said. He took it off and tried to hand it to her, but she wouldn't take it.
"Keep it," she said. "It looks good on you."
"Says someone with pink hair," he said.
"Hey! Someone who wears a ratty old thing like this has no right to criticize anyone else's taste." She threw his faded old brown tweed jacket at him.
He caught it. "You're right of course," he said, looking at it, and she felt bad for attributing his clothes to his taste, when his finances might be more to blame.
"Look, just keep Sirius's jacket, OK?" she said. "If you get another werewolf assignment, you'll have it handy."
Lupin sighed, and put his old jacket on. It made him look entirely old and faded, as if he were made of dust. He transferred the contents of his pockets, chocolate bar and wand, from the black leather jacket to his brown tweed as he spoke. "Aside from the fact that's it's not to my taste, there's a good chance I won't get any more werewolf assignments, so I'll have no need of it," he said. "The werewolves seem like a lost cause. Of course they're not taking the new law well, and some dark wizard is exploiting their desperation. Greyback, the leader of this pack, seems dead set on cooperating with any dark wizard who offers to overthrow the Ministry of Magic, with the idea that a new human regime would somehow treat werewolves any better than the current one. This dark wizard hasn't given his name in his communications with Greyback, but his offer is much the same as the one He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made in the war, so either he's plotting a return or has an imitator. Greyback is gullible enough to fall for the same line again, which is the kind of problem a society suffers when they choose their leaders through a physical fight rather than a test of political prowess. Many, maybe a majority, of the pack members disagree with Greyback on this, but they're afraid to stand up to him. The pack does what the leader does. Dumbledore says there's no hope."
"Well, what hope could there have been?"
"It would be much better for the werewolves to stay neutral than fight on a dark wizard's side," said Lupin. "They would, but for the whim of their leader."
"Well, this is as good an excuse as any for the Aurors to round them all up," said Tonks. "I mean really, they're much too dangerous to be allowed to roam free, whether they're working for a dark wizard or not. And they could be put to good use. The Werewolf Research Institute always needs more experimental subjects."
"Ah. So I've heard. Well. Thank you again for the jacket and for all of your help. Goodbye." Lupin suddenly got up and left, taking the black jacket with him.
I was much too tough on his taste in clothes, thought Tonks. She looked out her window to see him emerge from her building.
Once outside, Lupin looked up at the sky. The moon was nearly full. He stretched, and took a few deep breaths. Tonks was surprised to see him take off his brown jacket, transfer his pocket contents, chocolate bar and wand, back to the black jacket, and put that on instead. Then he folded his brown jacket and tucked it out of the way behind a planter in front of her building. Then he stood and strode away. Tonks recognized his predator walk.
Where was Lupin going in Sirius's black leather jacket, which he'd claimed was not to his taste?
This was a mystery. She ran out to follow him, changing her appearance on the way. Mousy brown hair was much better than pink for trailing someone unnoticed, and, being her natural color, took no effort to maintain.
It was a breezy evening. The wind kept blowing in her face as if trying to slow her down. She followed his confident, predatory stride along a meandering route, into a wooded park.
She really should go home, as she was quite behind on chores. Laundry was piling up. Also, did she even have any food in her flat for breakfast? She was overdue to go grocery shopping. Eggs, bacon, fruit... She should make a list. She had a scrap of paper and a pencil stub with her, but it was dark here, so she should go back to where there was more light so she could write properly. Once she was in the shop, if she didn't have a list, she knew she'd get distracted by those cheerfully-colored breakfast cereals—
Distracted. Tonks recognized a distraction spell when she felt one. She cast the counterspell, and a silence spell on her feet for good measure, to stop their crunching in the dry leaves. She continued to creep forward, toward Lupin and his mysterious destination, deeper into the woods. Even the wind seemed to conspire against her, blowing in her face as if trying to push her back, but it wasn't very strong.
Lupin stopped, so Tonks did too. Two figures approached him from the shadows. After a brief discussion, they waved him forward, then slunk back to the shadows.
Sentries. How close could she get without them noticing her? Stealth was not her strong suit, but she gave it a try, and congratulated herself on her success. The sentries took no notice of her. In truth, they were looking forward to where Lupin had gone, more than back towards her, which was presumably their job. Lupin must be doing something interesting.
She silently cast a night vision spell on her eyes. That was much better. There was Lupin, lying on his back on the ground, at the center of a forest clearing. He was arching his head back to expose his neck, pale against his black leather jacket. An enormous werewolf loomed over him, teeth bared, poised over Lupin's neck. Perhaps a hundred more werewolves were gathered around, silently watching this tableau. No one, not even the sentries, was paying any attention to Tonks.
All the werewolves were in their more-or-less human guises, of course, as the moon was not yet full to reveal their true selves. The massive werewolf poised over Lupin's neck looked the least-human of them all. His teeth, gleaming in the light of the nearly-full moon, were the pointed teeth of a carnivore. His nails were black claws. His eyes gleamed gold. His wild hair was grey, and his grey beard covered more of his face than was usual for humans.
His black leather jacket, in a style similar to what Lupin was wearing but more worn and dirty, must have been custom-made, or modified by magic, to fit over the boulder-like muscles of his shoulders and arms. Such tough, armor-like clothing seemed popular among this crowd. Tonks's jeans, denim jacket, and combat boots should blend in reasonably well if anyone spotted her. She adjusted her features to be a bit more feral, added a gold glint to her eyes, and grew her hair longer, more tangled and greasy. Perfect.
After what seemed an eternity to Tonks, this massive werewolf drew back from Lupin's neck. Then he offered a hand to Lupin. Lupin accepted this assistance and gracefully rose to his feet.
Then the two of them had a discussion that Tonks couldn't quite hear. Neither, apparently, could the sentries, but they considered the discussion interesting enough to abandon their posts to get closer. This enabled Tonks to creep further forward without them noticing her.
What in Merlin's name was Lupin doing? He'd been so good up to this point, but now she cringed as traces of professorial mannerisms crept into his movements. He looked like he was giving a lecture. Tonks crept closer. She could hear a few of his words, like "humans," spoken more loudly, and with contempt.
The wind shifted, wrapping her brown hair from the back of her head into her face. Then quite a lot of things happened in very quick succession. As she tucked her hair back, a hundred pairs of gold-glinting eyes turned in her direction. Many of the werewolves started to run towards her, none quite as fast as Lupin, who was sprinting so fast he was just a blur, while drawing his wand from the sleeve of Sirius's jacket. She turned on the spot,
seemingly in slow motion. It was dangerous to attempt to apparate while distracted, but staying here was considerably more dangerous. She tried willing herself to the street outside her flat, destination, determination, deliberation— Damnation, she felt herself slam against an anti-apparition ward. It was a standard security feature for buildings, so why not for werewolf-infested forests? Werewolves could do magic too, at least the ones that had started out as witches and wizards instead of muggles.
She pressed her thumbnail into her ring, breaking the seal, sending a distress call back to Auror headquarters, as she heard Lupin shout "Petrificus totalus!" She froze and fell to the ground with a thud. Lupin grabbed her wand from its holster and tucked it in his sleeve. Then, with surprising strength considering his slight frame, he grabbed her and dragged her back to the massive werewolf. He then dropped her, none too gently, on the dead leaves at the werewolf's feet.
"I've captured a human spy!" said Lupin, panting.
"Why didn't you let the pack rip her to shreds?" asked the huge werewolf.
"I assumed you'd want to question her first," said Lupin. "And that you as pack leader should decide her fate."
"Well done, Lupin," said the werewolf. Presumably this was Greyback, the pack leader Lupin had mentioned. "As your reward, you may have her second."
"Excuse me?" said Lupin.
"After me, but before the rest of the pack."
"Ah. Because you're pack leader, of course."
"You're catching on." Greyback crouched over Tonks and sniffed her crudely. That close, he smelled like an unpleasant combination of unwashed man and wild animal. "Ah, the smell of fear," he said appreciatively, smiling with his pointed teeth. "The most delicious sauce for meat." He stepped back and magnanimously invited Lupin to take a whiff.
Lupin stepped forward, and put his head down by Tonks's neck. It was a good indication of her relative mood that the smell of Sirius's jacket was a comfort to her at this moment. Leather, faint traces of motorcycle fumes, smoky bars, and Sirius's cologne combined to remind her, not of the mass murderer he later became, but the cousin who told such exciting tales of adventures. Sirius's old scent in the jacket was now overlaid with a fresher fragrance of chocolate.
Lupin whispered "Don't run. Pretend you're still petrified," hurriedly in her ear, then quickly whispered Finite Incantatem to undo his earlier spell. This also undid her night vision spell, but she could see well enough at this close distance. She was free, if being unpetrified but surrounded by werewolves counted. "And don't you dare blow my cover by helping me," he added.
"I've called the Aurors," she whispered back. "Stall until they get here."
She'd been hoping for a better reaction from Lupin than seeing his eyes suddenly widen with horror, but the look was gone so quickly, perhaps she'd misinterpreted it. Lupin changed his expression to a leer to match his putative activity as he stood up. Merlin's balls, he really was channeling Sirius for his werewolf persona.
He didn't maintain the leer for long, though, falling back into his default professorial look. "This is just an interruption to our earlier discussion," he said calmly, focused on Greyback without a glance at Tonks.
Tonks reflected that he still sounded absurdly like a professor rather than a werewolf. How could he possibly pass for one when she, in her best disguise, didn't?
"As I was saying earlier, humans are not to be trusted," lectured Lupin. He may have ostensibly been addressing his speech to Greyback, but his intended audience was clearly the entire pack. "The sudden appearance of this human spy fortuitously illustrates my point quite well. Who sent her? A dark wizard? The Ministry? It doesn't matter, since they're all humans. We can't trust any of them. A long line of dark wizards have attempted to win our favor for their own purposes. They've all made pretty promises, and none of them have delivered." He looked Greyback in the eyes. "I came here seeking a strong werewolf leader, not just another follower, particularly not someone who follows a human."
Greyback growled. "I am the leader of this pack. I have decided to accept this dark wizard's offer. Are you challenging my authority over this pack?"
"Why yes, I suppose I am," said Lupin mildly. "This pack deserves to be led by a werewolf, not some human's lapdog."
Greyback, growling, stepped over Tonks neatly as he approached Lupin. "Put away your wand and fight like a werewolf," he said.
"The word 'werewolf,'" said Lupin, his voice clear and steady as he took a few relaxed strides around the blood-spattered dead leaves of the clearing, "is compounded of two Old English words, 'wer' meaning man, and 'wolf,' the meaning of which is obvious. Thus—"
"Is this a challenge or a lesson?" shouted Greyback.
"Both, actually," said Lupin, smiling. "You're being schooled, not by a brutish beast, but by a werewolf, combining all the skills of man and wolf. I bring all my weapons to this duel, including the human ones, for they are as much a part of me as my teeth are. Standard dueling rules: All magic permissible aside from the three unforgivable curses. No interference from spectators. We fight until one of us yields. Agreed?"
Greyback nodded. "Agreed." He crouched back on his haunches, seeming to retreat.
Lookout, Lupin! Thought Tonks, but she knew that speaking a word of warning to Lupin would reveal their alliance. She could only watch as Greyback coiled like a spring and sprung at Lupin, teeth bared and claws outstretched.
"Arresto momentum!" said Lupin, and Greyback's leap stopped in midair. He hovered for a moment, then dropped as gravity remembered him.
Lupin laughed. "I will defeat you thoroughly, humiliatingly, and just for fun, alphabetically."
Lupin next flung a bat bogey hex at Greyback, who was overcome with a sneezing fit, each sneeze launching a bat out of his nose to flap around his face annoyingly.
"You call these pranks a duel?" scorned Greyback. The gravity of his words was somewhat diminished by his sneeze of another bat.
"Confringo," Lupin said in a calm, quiet voice, aiming his wand carefully in front of Greyback at the ground, which exploded into a gaping crater, raining flaming rubble and glowing orange rocks on the crowd. He raised his wand to wordlessly form a shield to deflect burning debris from himself.
"You missed," said Greyback, shaking a few embers out of his hair.
"Had I wanted to kill you, you would be dead," explained Lupin. "I want you to yield. This pack can use a strong fighter such as yourself. I would be a foolish leader to waste you."
Greyback took another flying leap at Lupin.
"Depulso," said Lupin, seeming bored. Greyback abruptly reversed direction in midair and sped backward to slam into a tree trunk. He slid down it to the ground, shaken. Merlin, thought Tonks. Lupin has good aim, to catch a leaping werewolf in midair twice now.
Greyback finally drew his wand and aimed it at Lupin.
"Expelliarmus," said Lupin immediately, and Greyback's wand jumped from his hand. Lupin caught Greyback's wand neatly out of the air and laughed as he tucked it into his sleeve. "Did your human master throw you this stick for a game of fetch? You don't seem to know how it works."
That was all well and good, but Tonks had a dilemma. On the one hand, she should pretend to be immobilized. On the other hand, a fragment of orange-hot rock from Lupin's Confringo spell had landed on the dead leaves near her, igniting a fire which was crackling its way towards her with increasing speed. What would a paralyzed human spy who was definitely not in league with Lupin the amazing dueling werewolf do? After careful consideration, she had to conclude that, if the spell had started to wear off at all, she would probably let out a panicked scream. So, in the interest of authenticity—
Lupin's head swung in her direction at the sound. "Aqua eructo," he said, directing a jet of water from his wand to extinguish the flames as he ran toward her. "Damnit, that's out of alphabetical order, but I do prefer my meat raw."
Don't warn him don't warn him don't warn him—
Greyback pounced on Lupin's back, knocking him to the ground. With a clawed hand, he grabbed Lupin's right hand, then stomped on Lupin's right arm so violently that Tonks heard something crack as Lupin lost his grip on his wand.
"Ah, now I smell fear," Greyback said, smiling, as he knelt on Lupin's back and neck. "You put up a good human-style fight, I'll grant you that," he said admiringly as he bent Lupin's hand further back, contorting his wrist into an increasingly impossible angle. "But the wolf always wins in the end. Yield."
Lupin made some sort of noise, but it was unintelligible, considering his face was pressed into the ground, and, with Greyback's considerable weight on his back, he had very little lung power at his disposal.
Greyback, considering this, got off Lupin's back, but kept a firm grip on his hand, and another on his forearm, keeping his wrist warped. "Yield," he said. "Some of my pack have healer training. They can fix your wrist in a moment." He emphasized this point with another jerk of Lupin's broken wrist.
Lupin slowly shifted his position to face Greyback.
"You've earned yourself a place in my pack," said Greyback, "and a high rank, but not, of course, as—"
He didn't get to finish his sentence because Lupin had sprung at him and bitten his neck. The fact that this spring bent his wrist into an even more extreme angle seemed not to concern him at all. Greyback kicked and shoved him away with difficulty, losing his grip on Lupin's arm. Lupin fell away, spitting blood as he sprang to his feet. His right hand hung uselessly.
Greyback charged at Lupin, swinging a clawed hand at his face. Lupin dodged, grabbed Greyback's hand with his left hand, and pulled, causing him to topple over. Lupin stomped a foot on his back. "Yield!" shouted Lupin. "Don't make me bite you again, you taste disgusting. Wait. What's that noise?"
Greyback listened. "Hippogriffs," he said.
"Aurors?" asked Lupin.
"Probably," said Greyback. "We'll have to continue this later."
"Of course," said Lupin. He took his foot off Greyback's back, then offered his left hand to help him up.
Greyback accepted Lupin's assistance graciously and rose to his feet. "Raid!" he called to his pack. "Scatter!" The pack disappeared into the woods. "Take care, son. This pack will need a new leader if the Aurors catch me. Don't forget your wand." He picked it up and handed it to Lupin, who took it with his left hand.
"Don't forget yours," said Lupin. He awkwardly offered his sleeve for Greyback to draw his wand himself. Then they bolted in opposite directions.
The flapping noise got louder, and a sudden wind blew dead leaves and dust into the air. Hippogriffs, perhaps a dozen of them, ridden by Aurors flinging spells down at the mob.
Tonks jumped to her feet. "Here!" A hippogriff swooped low, and she grabbed its harness, hauling herself up sit behind the Auror on the saddle, who was, of course, Paul. She sighed.
"In need of rescue, I see," he said, smiling.
"There was another human down there!" Tonks cried over the rushing wind. "We have to save him!"
Paul scanned the ground with his wand. "Homenum Revelio! I'm not finding anyone."
"But he was there! We can't just leave him!"
"This scan wouldn't pick him up if he were already dead," he said.
"Scan further. He runs fast."
"If he's fast enough to outrun werewolves, he doesn't need our help. Come on, lets stun some of these werewolves so the hippogriffs can pick 'em up. Wait. You OK? You need a healer or something? I can take you back to base instead."
Tonks was thinking. There were shield spells that could fool a scan, but could Lupin have cast one with a broken wrist? And why would he hide from Aurors?
"I lost my wand," she said.
"Down there?"
"Yes."
"Accio Tonks's wand," said Paul. It took a moment, but her wand flew to his hand from a shadowy clump of bushes. He handed it to her.
"Thanks," she said.
"Now let's kick some werewolf butt," he said.
"I see one there," she said, pointing some distance away from the clump of bushes from which her wand had flown.
Paul guided his hippogriff in the direction she was pointing, and he and Tonks sent stunning spells at everything that moved. The hippogriffs swooped down to grab the unconscious bodies with their talons, carried them to a holding cell, subtly glowing with anti-escape charms, and dropped them in a pile.
After work, the wind brought rain. Tonks apparated to the alley beside her building. Lupin's faded brown jacket was still stashed behind the planter in front of her building, doing a very good impression of dead leaves that happened to have blown there. She pulled it out gingerly. It was patched, faded, and worn beyond repair, but it would not be improved by being rained on. She took it inside, hazarded a few gentle cleaning and drying spells, and hung it in the closet space she'd optimistically considered newly vacant. It still smelled faintly of chocolate.
—-
He didn't turn up until three days later. She peered over her bowl of brightly colored breakfast cereal and saw him out the window, wearing Sirius's black leather jacket, and looking dejectedly behind the planter where his brown jacket wasn't.
She sprinted downstairs to him. He started at the sight of her uniform and seemed about to bolt, but stopped when he noticed her pink hair.
"Wotcher, Lupin! How's your wrist?"
"What?" He looked like he'd been dragged through hell. New bruises, scratches and barely-healed cuts marred his face and hands, and she got the impression he had neither eaten nor slept since she'd seen him last. Presumably, he'd battled something significantly worse than the werewolf pack leader since they'd parted. She gulped. Dumbledore had told her that the Order of the Phoenix went on dangerous missions, but perhaps she hadn't quite understood what he'd meant...
"My wrist?" he blinked at both his wrists blearily. "Oh, from the duel with Greyback, this wrist." The right one. "That was days ago. I fixed that right away. I've had a lot of practice casting healing spells left-handed. I've even had to hold my wand with my toes on occasion."
"So what else happened to you?"
"I don't suppose you've seen my jacket? I left it here, since I didn't want to carry it."
"Why on earth didn't you just leave it in my flat?"
"I didn't want to bother you to retrieve it."
"Bother me? Don't be ridiculous. Now, having to pick it up after it had been rained on and do some drying spells on it, that was a bother. Household spells aren't really my thing. You should have just left it with me in the first place. Come on, it's upstairs."
"Are you on your way to work? You're in your uniform."
"Well, yes, but I have a few minutes before I have to go."
"You could just bring it down on your way out. I'll wait here."
"Have you had breakfast?"
"There's no need to trouble yourself—"
"You're coming with me." With a gesture that owed more to her Auror training than to any tradition of hospitality, she grabbed his arm and hauled him up to her flat.
"Sit," she said, pointing to the couch. He sat.
She went to her kitchen. "Have some... I have cereal. I think this is shaped like some muggle cartoon character, with rainbow marshmallows. I'm sorry, I'm out of eggs and such. If cereal's not your thing, I have... some canned soup. And some frozen Indian entrees. And some leftover Chinese takeaway— ew, no, I'll just throw this away, sorry. What can I get you? Lupin?"
She went back to her living room. Lupin had collapsed on the couch, asleep, or unconscious anyway. He was breathing. She drew her wand and scanned him for injuries. His broken wrist had indeed been properly fixed, and now just needed time. Numerous other cuts and bruises had already been partially healed by spells. He apparently hadn't bothered with various minor injuries, or had run out of energy before he got to those. Annoyingly, Sirius's jacket was in much better shape than Lupin's skin. The whole point of a jacket like this was to protect against cuts and scrapes, but it worked only while actually wearing it, which he apparently hadn't been when whatever it was had happened. Her diagnostic spells detected numerous injuries under his clothes. There was no time to uncover and heal them, as she had to get to work, and he obviously needed sleep so it was better not to wake him.
She grabbed parchment and quill and scribbled a note:
Lupin,
Help yourself to anything, kitchen, wardrobe, whatever. I should be back by 7. Stay. Rest.
Tonks
Dumbledore trusts him, she reminded herself. That was that, he was trustworthy. Even though he ran from Aurors.
She popped back at lunchtime to check on him. She tried to open the door quietly so as not to wake him—
"Petrificus totalis!" she heard in his hoarse voice, then, "Oh god, I'm sorry," before she hit the floor. "Finite Incantatem," he added apologetically, then put his wand away and got off the couch to help her up.
"Um, our lunch might be a bit mushed," she said, as she'd fallen on the takeaway bag.
"I'm terribly sorry. You woke me up. I wasn't thinking."
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," she said. "I got you some dittany, and some blood replenishing potion. Drink up."
"All I need is my jacket, and I'll be on my way," he said. "I can't keep wearing this one, the smell gives me nightmares, but I was so cold—
"Oh shut up about the stupid jacket. You need a visit to St. Mungo's, but I assume you have some reason for not taking yourself there, so I'm not going to drag you. I assume you also had some good reason to decline a rescue by the Aurors I called. Now that I know, I won't trouble you with any more Aurors, except for me and Moody and such who are also Order members. Right?"
Lupin looked surprised and slightly scared, then gave a grateful nod. "Thanks."
"What you need is food and rest and time to recover from whatever you've been through. You can do that here or somewhere else if you prefer, but I'm not going to just let you out on your own in this state. I could call a friend of yours to pick you up if you like. I could call Dumbldore to tell him you're here."
Lupin shook his head. "No need to trouble Dumbledore. He'll be able to find me the next time he has a mission for me."
"You— I have just a few minutes for lunch before I have to go back. She grabbed some flattened food from the takeaway bag and gulped it. "Can I bring you anything when I come back?" she asked, still chewing inelegantly.
"You've done too much for me already."
"Quit it. I'm off. Stay. I'll be back later."
—-
It seemed not just polite but wise to ring her own doorbell, to try to avoid the fight-or-flight response she'd gotten at lunchtime. Lupin didn't answer. She sighed. He must have bolted.
She unlocked and opened her door. She didn't see him.
"Petrif— Oh, it's you," said Lupin from his hiding place by the bookshelf, as he put away the wand he'd pointed at her.
"Nice to see you too," said Tonks. "Who did you think I was?"
He shrugged. "You rang this time. You didn't last time."
"Lupin?"
He looked at her.
"Will I wind up like you and Moody after I've been in the Order for a few years?" was what she wanted to ask, but she didn't want to hear his reply, which would inevitably be, "If you survive," so she didn't.
"A bunch of good restaurants around here deliver," she said instead, getting the stack of menus from the kitchen and handing them to him. "Pick one while I see what I can do about these injuries. Hey. It looks like you got 'em."
"I told you, I'm pretty good with healing spells. And thank you very much for the potions, and for lunch. I'm feeling much better. I'll be on my way as soon as I get—"
"That damn jacket, right. Sentimental value?"
"No, it's just the only one I have. I know it's not much, but it's mine. I feel ridiculous in this black leather thing."
"I told you to help yourself to anything from the wardrobe. Your jacket's in there."
"I'm not going to rummage through your wardrobe!"
"I've got all sorts of stuff in there, including the nonthreatening male look you're going for. Good for surveillance. We'll find something for you while we wait for delivery. Did you pick something? Do you like Thai? I could kill a coconut curry."
"Look, I'm not going to let you buy me dinner—"
"Fine, you can pay if you insist."
"Um. I'm sorry, no I can't."
"Oh." She felt bad for having put him in this position. "It doesn't matter. How about pizza? What do you like on it? I'm thinking spinach and pepperoni."
"No."
"Peppers? Onions? Mushrooms?"
"I said no."
"Too late." She'd picked up her phone, placed the order, gave her address, got her muggle money handy. "The least I can do is feed you while you tell me what I did wrong back on your werewolf mission. That will obviously take a while, since I botched that quite thoroughly."
Lupin said nothing.
"I know, where to begin, right? I'm a new Auror and a brand-new Order member, so obviously I have a lot to learn. I'll do better the next time I encounter werewolves."
"No! God no! Stay away from werewolves, Tonks. They're much too dangerous."
She gave him the hairy eyeball, but he continued undeterred.
"Promise me you'll stay away from werewolves. Please, Tonks. Please. The Order can't spare you. We need you for other assignments."
"Tell me what was wrong with my disguise. I thought I looked just like a feral werewolf."
"You did look just like one. That's not enough, and it doesn't really matter. You smell like a human. As soon as the wind shifted, everyone knew exactly what you were."
"Damn. I didn't think of that. All right, teach me whatever spell you use to fix that."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"Is your wardrobe this way?" Lupin seemed torn between escaping into the bedroom and respecting her privacy.
"Yeah," she said, giving up one argument to focus on another. "I'm sure I have a bunch of stuff that would fit you."
But she couldn't convince him to accept anything besides his original rags by the time the pizza was delivered. At least he didn't object when she put a slice in front of him, but ate it in silence. She put another slice in front of him when the first was gone.
Too much silence. "Lupin. Or should I call you Remus? I'd say you could call me by my given name if I didn't hate it, so you're stuck calling me Tonks, but I figured I'd ask which name you'd prefer I use for you."
"I don't care. I answer to Remus, Lupin, You Idiot, whatever."
She laughed. "You're definitely not an idiot."
"Oh, you have no idea."
She punched his recently-healed shoulder. "Now you're just fishing for compliments with that self-deprecating thing you do. Quit it."
"No, I—"
"Shut up and let me apologize."
"For what?"
"I insulted you when Dumbledore first introduced us. I assumed you couldn't hold your own on a solo mission, and I was wrong."
"Oh. You're apologizing for that? I took no offense at that, I assure you. I don't need you to praise my performance. I was just lucky this time."
"Dumbledore doesn't recruit people into the Order of the Phoenix based on how lucky we are."
"No, we survive based on how lucky we are."
"Lupin, just shut up and accept a compliment, all right? I saw you. You were amazing. You saved my life, and not through luck, after I stupidly wandered into danger. Thank you. You dueled a werewolf pack leader and nearly won. I've never seen reflexes and quick thinking under pressure like that in my life. Not to mention that your disguise obviously worked a lot better than mine."
"Tonks, you seem to be laboring under the misconception that I value your opinion of me. I didn't save your life because I wanted to hear you compliment me, or spend any more time in your company than absolutely necessary. I saved your life because you're a useful part of the Order, less disposable than most."
She hung her head. "I'm sorry," she said.
"For what this time?" he said testily.
"I know I've done something else to offend you, but I won't know what it is unless you tell me. So tell me. We've been completely on the wrong foot since we met and I want to fix it. We should be getting along great. We're both fighting on the same side."
She waited, but he said nothing. To fill the silence, she hazarded, "I insulted your clothes before?"
"What?"
"I insulted your jacket. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult your taste in clothes. Let me make it up to you, please. I know! I'll take you shopping! Let me buy you a new outfit!"
"Oh Merlin. You think I'm upset because you insulted my clothes?" He was having trouble breathing, he was laughing so hard. "What is it with your family trying to dress me up like a doll? You sound just like Sirius, telling me I needed to wear tight black jeans like him, and then I'd be just as successful with the ladies." His laughter was sounding hysterical. "'Remus,'" he quoted in an upper-class tone that was achingly familiar, "A butt like yours is nature's gift to womankind. You have an obligation to show it off. I may be heir to the Black family fortune, but that perky ass of yours is a treasure that far exceeds mine.' You wouldn't believe the flamboyant stuff he tried to buy me. Well, it was the seventies, so you can imagine." It was hard to tell if Lupin was laughing or crying.
Tonks waited for Lupin's laughing fit to run its course, then offered him one of the paper napkins that had come with the pizza. He accepted it, wiped his eyes, and took a few shuddering breaths. "So in conclusion," he said with surprising steadiness, as if wrapping up a lecture, "no, I am not letting you buy me clothes."
"I'm not my cousin," she said sullenly.
"No, of course you're not, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You have every right to feel insulted."
"No, thanks for the story about him. I can just picture him saying that." She smiled. "Anyway, my offer still stands. I will buy you the clothes you choose, and share my opinions of your clothing or butt only by request."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to be in your debt."
"You saved my frickin life, Lupin! This doesn't begin to balance the debt I owe you."
"Just no."
"Then let me buy you a drink."
"I don't think that would be appropriate. We're coworkers."
"We're in a secret volunteer guerrilla group! The Order of the Phoenix doesn't have a sexual harassment policy. I can buy you a drink if I damn well please!"
"What? You're not— You couldn't possibly— I mean, we're sharing a pizza, but don't mistake this for some sort of... date." He quickly said, "Tonks, there's something you should know about me," then seemed to run out of breath.
Tonks looked at him. Lupin looked away.
"Well, yes," she finally said. "I do want to know about you. That's why I invited you out for a drink. That's the whole point, talking to each other so we get to know various things about each other. Come on. I'll buy the first round. I'll let you buy the second if you insist on being fair. Oh, sorry, I should have thought before I said that."
"No, I... Look. It's..."
"What?! Let's hurry up and loosen that tongue with some alcohol before it seizes up permanently."
"No. And I don't drink anything stronger than butterbeer, sorry."
She glared at him with dark eyes. He could withstand only a brief glance before looking away.
"Look," he said quietly to his scarred hands. "A long time ago, I swore to myself that I would never start a relationship with someone under false pretenses."
She stared at him. "Well, that's good then," she said.
"So if I ever noticed anyone who seemed, for some strange reason, to be developing an interest in me—"
"Don't give me that 'some strange reason' crap, Lupin. You're a damn interesting man. Of course people are going to develop an interest."
Lupin was silent for a while after that.
"I'm sorry," said Tonks. "You were about to reveal your innermost secrets and I went and interrupted you. Go on."
But he didn't go on for a while.
Tonks bit her tongue to stop herself from filling the silence.
"Well," he finally said. "The issue hasn't really come up before. I've never stayed in one place long enough for anyone to take notice of me. Since I left school, I've been moving every few months. No one has known me for very long, so all they've gotten of me has been a first impression, which as you've noticed isn't very good."
She carefully said nothing. The silence got longer, leaving her nothing to do but work it out. "You decided never to get into a relationship with someone who didn't know your secret, which is honorable of course, but you've never actually revealed your secret?"
"Well, yes."
"So you're a virgin?" she squealed. "You're a virgin and that isn't your deep dark secret, you've got another one besides? How old are you?"
"Thirty-three," he said.
"You're only thirty-three?" she asked, amazed. "Well of course, same as Sirius. I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
"No need to apologize, not for this at least," he said. "I'm a worn-out old man, and I look like it."
"No," she insisted. "The grey hair just makes you look—"
"I sure as hell don't look distinguished, so don't lie," he said. "Anyway, how old are you?"
"Twenty," she said.
"No," he said, shocked.
"Don't I look twenty?" she complained.
"You look exactly twenty, but you're a metamorphmagus. You can look however you want. I assumed that you chose this appearance on purpose. I mean, wouldn't most women choose to look like that if they had the option? Except for the hair," he added.
"This is my natural look," she said sullenly.
He looked doubtful.
"Except for the hair," she added. "I like my hair this way."
He shrugged. "It's your hair."
"Wait, back up. Why did you say most women would choose to look like me?"
"Well, they would, wouldn't they?"
"Why?"
"Well, you're beautiful, obviously."
"You think I'm beautiful?"
"I'm not blind. Anyone could see that you're beautiful."
"Are you attracted to me?"
"What would be the point of that? I'm too old for you, for one."
"What does that mean?"
"You've got your whole life ahead of you—"
"We're in the Order of the Phoenix, Lupin. Dumbledore told me the mortality rate when I joined. A one night stand might be exactly as long as a whole life romance for us."
Lupin has nothing to say to that. He grudgingly nodded.
"Besides," she continued breezily, "there's no need to compound the tragedy of our untimely deaths with the tragedy of you dying a virgin."
A burst of laughter escaped from Lupin without his permission. When he was able, he choked out, "Please don't trouble yourself on my account. That's been taken care of. Well, depending on how you define... No, let's say that chore has already been checked off the to-do list."
"But you said you'd never start a relationship without telling someone this deep dark secret of yours, and you never told anyone."
"I said I'd never start a relationship with someone who didn't know. Someone figured it out, and then miraculously didn't hold it against me."
Tonks bit her tongue, waiting for anything else he might say.
"It seemed impossible that such intelligent perception and such stupid tolerance could coexist in the same person," Lupin reflected.
Tonks's tongue was starting to hurt, the pause after this was so long. "What happened?" She finally said.
"It didn't work out," he said simply.
It seemed that no more details were forthcoming. As she pondered these new fragments of information, she broke out in a smile. Lupin flinched when he saw it.
"So," she said, smiling, "it is possible to figure your secret out despite you. And the prize for figuring it out is you."
"Oh Merlin. No. The prize, as you call it, is you running away screaming and never wanting to see me again. The prize is the end of any friendship there may be between us, for a start, and no doubt the end of our working relationship too. Figuring it out isn't the hard part. Still tolerating me afterwards is. Look," he added, without giving her anything to look at. "My sole loyalty is to the Order. You realize that."
She bit her tongue and nodded again.
"So I would never do anything to jeopardize our mission. I would never even do anything to distract from our mission."
"No one's asking you to, Lupin."
"You are," he said simply. "Order members need to be able to trust each other, to rely on each other on assignments."
She crossed her arms at him. "You're already making me suspicious of you and I don't even know why yet."
He nodded. "That's perfectly understandable. I'll tell Dumbledore to stop giving us assignments together. You need to be with someone you can trust, and I'll just do solo missions. I'm glad we had this chat." He pulled a half-eaten muggle chocolate bar out of his jacket pocket, unwrapped it, and offered it to her. "Would you like some?"
She glared at him, then broke off one square and chomped on it. It was warm and slightly melted from his body heat. It was good.
He broke off another square for himself and slowly ate it, closing his eyes and giving it his full attention.
"You're a chocoholic," she said dryly.
"What?"
"You're addicted to chocolate. That's your secret."
"Oh. Yes. I'm a chocoholic. That's it exactly. You've guessed my deep, dark, bitter secret. It feels good to finally come clean about his." He was smiling, but didn't meet her gaze. He offered it her another square. She declined, and he ate it himself. His hands, which had so confidently dueled the werewolf pack leader, were trembling.
They both jumped when they heard the doorbell ring. Tonks got up to look through the peephole as Lupin drew his wand.
"It's Dumbledore," said Tonks, opening the door to let him in.
"Dumbldore!" said Lupin almost giddily as he put away his wand. "So good to see you. Do you have another assignment for me?" he asked, with the eagerness of a puppy expecting a treat.
"Not interrupting anything, am I?" asked Dumbldore.
"No, nothing at all," said Lupin. "Sorry we didn't save you any pizza. Chocolate?" He offered.
"Thank you," said Dumbledore, breaking off a square and eating it. "Even muggle chocolate has a comforting magic to it, doesn't it? And you two may be in need of comfort. I have good news and bad news. Which should I tell first?"
"Good," said Tonks.
"Bad," said Lupin simultaneously.
Dumbledore sighed, and addressed Lupin. "As you may be aware, I have had a great deal of difficulty finding qualified staff to teach at Hogwarts. In particular, Defense Against the Dark Arts is a subject in which turnover has been very high. I'm afraid I've just lost another professor, and need to find a replacement."
"Lost?" asked Tonks. "What do you mean, lost?"
"He is unable to continue his work, as he now resides in St. Mungo's Mental Maladies ward," Dumbledore explained. "Forgive me for not considering you for the job earlier, Remus. I well remember how well-liked and effective you were as a tutor when you were a student. I'm certain the children will benefit from your teaching. Defense Against the Dark Arts is an essential subject, especially in these darkening days."
"But..." said Lupin helplessly.
"Of course, we have many details to work out, but I assure you that no problem is insurmountable. And you will find some familiar faces there. Poppy is still working in the hospital wing, and is as skilled at healing as ever."
"Madam Pomfrey? Well, that's good news," said Lupin.
"Minerva is still teaching transfiguration, and is head of Gryffindor House."
"Professor McGonogall? It will be hard to consider her a colleague rather than an authority. I'll always be afraid she's going to give me detention."
Dumbledore laughed. "We also have some new staff. Severus is now teaching Potions."
"Severus... You don't mean Snape!"
"I do. He's always excelled in that subject."
"But—"
"And he has my full confidence. Not only did I invite him to teach at Hogwarts, he also was one of the first people I tapped to rejoin the Order. I would trust him with my life."
Lupin took a deep breath.
"So that's both the good and bad news, isn't it?" said Tonks. "Lupin's getting a day job, which means he's leaving the Order so we won't be seeing him as much."
Dumbledore looked at Tonks. "I'm afraid his services are too essential for me to allow him to leave the Order, Tonks. He will have to do double duty." He turned back to Lupin. "As you know, you are indispensable for certain tasks, but I will try to impose upon your time as sparingly as possible.
"So what is the bad news?" asked Lupin.
"Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban," said Dumbledore.
Without a word, Lupin cracked his chocolate bar down the middle, handed half to Tonks, and started eating his half.
"I thought the news might hit you hard, so I came prepared," said Dumbledore, pulling a bar of Honeyduke's finest chocolate out of a pocket of his robes and handing it to Lupin, who accepted it dumbly.
After a few squares of chocolate, Lupin asked in a flat, dead voice, "Is he my next assignment? I'll kill him."
"No, that shouldn't be necessary," said Dumbledore. "The Ministry of Magic has made his recapture their top priority."
"It was their incompetence that allowed him to escape in the first place!" exclaimed Lupin.
"I have a related assignment for you, Remus," said Dumbledore. "We must consider the possibility that Sirius intends to finish the task he started. Azkaban guards report that he was heard muttering 'He's at Hogwarts,' and 'I'll kill him,' shortly before he escaped. Your job will be to protect Harry Potter. Young Harry will be entering his third year at Hogwarts. As you are the only survivor among Sirius's former friends, you're uniquely qualified to be on guard against him, for Harry's sake."
"Harry... I haven't seen him since he was a baby. Yes, Dumbledore, yes. I failed miserably at protecting his parents' lives, but I won't make the same mistakes this time."