Humanity

Lupin, who had always excelled at dueling, struck first. "So, tell me about yourself."

Tonks took a swig of her butterbeer and shrugged. "What do you want to know?" she parried.

"Well. We could start with really basic things. You're a recent graduate."

She nodded.

"Which house were you in? I was in Gryffindor," he volunteered. "And you?"

"Guess," she said. Her dark eyes twinkled merrily at him.

"Do I look like— Well, I suppose I do look rather like the Sorting Hat," reflected Lupin, looking down at his faded old clothes. He supposed he should buy some more professional-looking robes, now that he was a professor, but his new job that enabled him to afford new clothes also kept him too busy to shop for them. He'd always just tried to avoid thinking about how he looked, as he had far too many scars to have any hope of being proud of his appearance.

Tonks laughed a loud, coarse laugh, like a bark. He'd scored a direct hit. "How would you sort me, Hat?" she asked.

"I hardly know you, really," said Lupin. "And I'm not a legilimens. You have to give me some information to work with."

"You know me well enough to have asked me out," she said.

"All right. You said yes, so you are most definitely brave, so I'll say you're a Gryffindor, like me."

"Nope. Guess again," she said merrily.

That threw him. "What? Well... You're an Auror. I know they have a very strict set of academic requirements, so you must be extremely intelligent and studious to have even been admitted to their training program. So Ravenclaw."

"Nope. Guess again," she said, smiling.

"You're enjoying seeing me squirm when I guess wrong," he said. "So Slytherin."

She laughed. "Yes I am, but not Slytherin."

"I know!" he said victoriously, as she laughed again. "You didn't attend Hogwarts at all. Beauxbatons? Your English is perfect, though."

Tonks snorted butterbeer out of her nose, and was laughing too hard to speak for quite a while after that. She finally choked out, "I've got to stop you before you guess anything even more ridiculous or I'm going to die laughing," she attempted to parry.

"Durmstrang? Now that you mention it, I can really see you in one of those fur uniforms," he added, twisting the blade in the wound.

"Stop! Stop! I'm a Hufflepuff, you fool!"

His blank stare negated any advantage he may have gained in the duel up to this point. "Hufflepuff?" he said weakly.

"Of course, Hufflepuff," she said. "You know the traits of the four houses."

"Well..."

"Describe them," she challenged.

"Um. Well, Gryffindor is for the brave and bold, Ravenclaw for the witty and wise, Slytherin for the cunning and ambitious, and Hufflepuff is for, well, everyone else."

"Yes!" she said proudly, although it really hadn't occurred to him before that this could be a source of pride. Of course, magical children who lacked the traits required by the other houses had to go somewhere... Well, no, being sorted into one house didn't mean you lacked the traits of the other houses. He was in Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw, although the Sorting Hat has told him that he had plenty of intelligence for Ravenclaw. It had also said he had more bravery than intelligence, so into Gryffindor he went. At least, that's what the hat had told him after he'd told it he wanted to be in Gryffindor, with those boys he'd met on the train. So what did Tonks have more of than her bravery, her intelligence, or her ambition?

"I'm afraid I know very little about Hufflepuff," he admitted.

"But you said it," she said. "You know it. Hufflepuff is for everyone else. Hufflepuff accepts all, in true loyal friendship and fairness, without prejudice or judgement. Are you all right? Lupin? Remus? Hello? Anyone in there?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"What?"

"That perhaps I should have asked the Sorting Hat to put me in Hufflepuff. Perhaps I would have been happier there. I hadn't realized what I'd been missing until you explained. Maybe the only reason I wound up in Gryffindor... Well, these boys on the train let me sit with them, and James said he knew he was going be sorted into Gryffindor because his whole family was, and Sirius said he was going to tell the hat to put him in Gryffindor just to annoy his parents, and Peter said he wanted to be in Gryffindor too, although maybe that was just because Sirius had bought everyone candy by that point, and I, well, I felt that we could be friends if we were in the same house. I wanted friends. I went along with them. I went along with them on a lot of things, really, some of which I'm not proud of. Hufflepuff doesn't have many bullies in it, does it?"

Tonks shook her head. "Were you bullied in Gryffindor?" she asked sadly.

"No," said Lupin darkly. "Worse. I was part of the gang of Gryffindor bullies. We called ourselves the Marauders. It was bully or be bullied, so I sided with the bullies. I wasn't as bad as Sirius and James (although I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, in James's case) but I didn't do nearly enough to stop them, and I even helped them with many of the trickier pranks we played on people. At least one kid we bullied has never forgiven me. You know him. Severus Snape."

Tonks laughed, surprisingly. "I'll admit that Snape's personality presents a challenge to even the most tolerant Hufflepuff," she said. "What a git."

"I'm at least partly at fault for how he turned out," admitted Lupin. "I treated him terribly." Strangely, admitting these sins to a friendly ear somehow felt good, unlike turning them over and over in his mind as he usually did. How much did he dare share? "We nearly killed Snape once. Literally. I had nothing to do with the planning of that one, that was all Sirius, and James put a stop to it, but Snape blamed all of us."

Tonks's dark eyes were wide. "Merlin... Thank you for telling me." She put a comforting hand on his.

Lupin considered that if he had a heart attack right now, that would be a pretty good way to go. "In retrospect, it all seems so obvious," he continued. "I'm an idiot to have missed it. James and Peter thwarted Sirius's plan to murder Snape, and then just a few years later, Sirius had James killed, and murdered Peter himself. My best friend had obviously been capable of murder since he was sixteen and I didn't do anything to stop him. I was more concerned about covering up for him and saving him from detentions or loss of house points than reporting him to the Aurors for attempted murder and sending him to Azkaban where he belonged. How many of the deaths in the Order were his fault? The Prewett brothers, Caradoc, most of the Bones family, poor Benjy, Marlene and her whole family, James and Lily, Peter... so many good people, dead. We were losing the war, badly. How many of those deaths are my fault, for not realizing that Sirius was a spy? We knew there must have been a traitor among us, someone must have been leaking informing to the Death Eaters, but I couldn't even consider the possibility that it was him. I'd had all the information I needed since I was sixteen but didn't act on it."

"That is a dark secret," she said. "I understand, Lupin. You were just a kid when you met him, and you're not a seer. You fell in with a bad crowd, and didn't know any better. I can tell you've changed. Don't let guilt over your past hold you back."

"Oh, I don't," said Lupin. "I mean, it is annoying to have to work with Snape, who is a git in general, and also has an understandable grudge against me, but other than that, the past is the past. It's gone. I try not to dwell on it."

"But... Your secret. You've told me your dark secret, the one you couldn't tell anyone—"

Now it was Lupin's turn to snort butterbeer out his nose. When he was capable of speech again, he managed to choke out, "That? You think that's bad enough to count as a dark secret?" He had to stop to laugh some more. "No. No no no, that's an entertaining anecdote about some childish pranks. No. That's not it. But thank you for listening to that one, I've never told that one to anyone either, and it does feel good to get it off my chest."

She gave him the hairy eyeball. "How many secrets do you have exactly?"

"Arithmancy was never my strongest subject," he said.

"Well," she said, looking at him determinedly. "This looks like a job for a Hufflepuff. I am determined to get through all these layers of secrets, and understand and accept every last one of them or die trying."

"Don't say that," said Lupin, chilled.

"I mean it," said Tonks. She put her hand on his cheek, and he felt his grey stubble rasp against her skin. He'd just shaved that morning, but it grew fast. "You deserve to be accepted for who you are. Every human being does."

She thought he was human. Of course she did, she would never have agreed to a date if she didn't. He didn't really have to tell her. They could continue like this. He had a job. He could have a girlfriend. He could have a life.

Lupin called for the bill, and felt absurdly proud to pay it with money he'd earned. It was real money. Why did he have the nagging suspicion that it was counterfeit? Everything he was doing was counterfeit.

"Thank you for lunch," she said as they strolled out of the restaurant.

"Thank you for your company. Sorry to burden you with these old stories."

"Quit apologizing. Where to next? Honeyduke's? How's your chocolate supply holding up?"

"The school actually has a huge stock, because of all the dementors. I'm all set. I'll buy some for you, though, if you'd like. Let me buy some for you."

She shrugged. "It's my turn to buy next, and I'm not particularly into chocolate. Let's just stroll around. I haven't been to Hogsmeade since I graduated. I know! Let's go to the Shrieking Shack! It's supposed to be terribly haunted, but I've never seen a ghost there."

"Actually, I should be getting back. I have rather a lot of grading to do."

"You're scared of the Shrieking Shack! Are you a Gryffindor or not? I know! I dare you to go to the Shrieking Shack! That's got to work. Gryffindors are really easy to manipulate, they'll do anything on a dare. 'It's so dark and scary up there in the Astronomy tower, I dare you to do my Astronomy homework!' and they'd actually do it."

"Are you sure you're not a Slytherin?"

"My mum is. Nearly my whole family, really, except for the muggle side. The hat did offer, but I didn't want to spend my school years with people who look down on half-bloods. Anyway, the Shrieking Shack's that way."

"I know, but I really do need to get back. Aside from all the grading, I'm getting behind on my lesson plans."

"Chicken! Bok bok bok."

"I don't think your animagus transformation quite worked. Chickens don't have pink hair."

"It's OK to be scared of ghosts, Lupin. I'll hold you. That's the whole point of the Shrieking Shack, don't you know? So teenagers can leap into each other's arms in fright."

He hadn't realized that his agonized screams and howls had been the background music for any youthful romances. He found the idea disturbing. His walk back to Hogwarts sped up.

Tonks kept pace with him, lengthening her legs to match his stride. "It's a good thing you have an Auror to escort you back. It's dangerous with Sirius Black on the loose."

He caught her as she tripped on her long legs. "I appreciate your protection," he said as he set her back on her feet and let go of her as quickly as possible. "But I'm actually pretty good at defending myself. Constant vigilance, as Moody says. You'd only distract me."

"I've never seen the inside of the professors' quarters at Hogwarts. Are they nice?"

"Tonks. Please. I have grading to do. I wouldn't dream of interfering with your work, so please grant me the same consideration."

"You know Remus, many men think that if they buy a woman a meal, she owes them a kiss."

"Really? What cads. I hope you meet a better class of men in the future." He strode off as fast as his long legs would carry him, leaving her clumsy legs behind.

Counterfeit. Fake. Liar. Dark creature. There was no way this could possibly work. He was being cruel to both of them with this false hope.

Still, he'd gone on an actual date. She clearly liked him, at least the man she thought he was. Could his memory of this date power a patronus? Would it be an adequate substitute for Sirius's friendship, his acceptance? As Lupin approached the dementors guarding Hogwarts, he tried it. What bad memory would they dredge up this time?

His father was yelling at Dumbledore, perfectly audibly despite the fact that he'd banished Remus to his room. "I demand that you cease this cruelty at once! Remus will never have a normal life. Don't get his hopes up. Even if you somehow contrive a way for him to attend Hogwarts, what will happen to him after those seven years, eh? Giving him a taste of a life he can never have will just leave him worse off."

Tonks's smile, her laugh, the touch of her hand on his. "Expecto Patronum!" No. Definitely not. Despair cling to him even as he walked past the dementors.

—-

"Potential child abuse case," said Mad-Eye, tossing the parchment to her.

"Oh no." Tonks read the file. Neighbors reported that a little girl who used to be seen frequently playing around the neighborhood was now rarely seen, and no longer played with her friends. Screams had been heard from her house last night.

The report came with a portkey in the form of a popsicle stick. Tonks and Mad-Eye grabbed it. After the unpleasant yanking sensation, they found themselves on a tree-lined street of modest houses, many with toys scattered in the yards.

A small horde of children rampaged past, chasing a dragon-shaped balloon that was shooting backwards as it snorted fire. The children laughed as the flames tickled their faces.

The ones in the lead continued their pursuit determinedly, but the stragglers stopped to stare at the two Aurors who'd just materialized.

"You have pink hair!" said a little girl, pointing.

Tonks wondered if Mad-Eye had picked her as a protege so children would have someone else to point at. She squatted down to get on the girl's level. "I do? Really?" she asked.

The little girl nodded solemnly.

"It's supposed to be green!" said Tonks. "Could you please change it back to green for me?"

The little girl's eyes were huge.

"I'll teach you how," said Tonks. "Can you wiggle your fingers like this?"

The child managed a reasonable approximation.

"And can you say 'een-gray air-hay'?"

She could.

"Now do them both together."

"Een-gray air-hay EEEEK!" The little girl looked back and forth between Tonks's green hair and her own fingers in amazement.

"Thank you!" said Tonks. "And I have another favor to ask. Do you know Clara?"

"She's my friend. But she won't play with me anymore."

"Why not?"

"Her mum and dad say she's ill."

"Which house is hers?" The little girl pointed. "Thank you again." Tonks walked to the front porch, where Mad-Eye was already waiting.

"Scan shows two adult-sized humans, no one smaller. I've already blocked the back door and windows, with spells that'll slow them down at least and alert us if they try to escape."

Tonks nodded and rang the doorbell. Just as she was wondering if they'd have to break the door down, it was opened by a tired-looking woman in a spotted apron. She started when she saw them. "Can I help you?"

Tonks smiled. "Mrs. Enid Rouch?"

She nodded.

"Good morning. I'm Auror Tonks, and this is Auror Moody. We got some calls saying that Clara hasn't been seen recently, so we're just checking that she's OK."

"She's not here," said the woman, very nervously. "She's at her grandma's."

"We just want to have a little look around," said Tonks, still smiling.

"No. The house is in no state for company."

"We have a warrant," said Mad-Eye, brandishing it as he impatiently elbowed his way past her. She didn't seem interested in reading it, so he put it away, drew his wand, and did some more scanning spells. His blue eye was whirling. "Who else is here?"

"My husband. He's in his workshop. He does broom repair and customizing."

"Get him. He's the only other person here?"

"Yes. Richard! I hate to interrupt, but, Aurors are here."

"Then who is that?" demanded Mad-Eye, pointing at, or probably through, a blank wall. With a wave of his wand, the weak disillusionment spell was broken and a door appeared. Another wave of his wand opened it. Then he spun to point his wand at the man who'd just walked up behind them. "Don't move," he said.

Tonks entered the hidden room.

"You have green hair!" said a faint, high voice.

Tonks knelt by the small bed, where a little girl was lying. She looked pale, except for a prominent purple bruise on her cheek, and one of her arms was bandaged.

"I do? Really?" Tonks responded automatically. She drew her wand, out of the girl's sight. Mad-Eye's scan had revealed only two humans.

The little girl nodded solemnly.

"It's supposed to be pink!" said Tonks. She did a silent scan for dark creatures. The display from the scan, visible only to Tonks, was almost blinding. Werewolf.

Tonks stood and returned to the couple, still held at wand-point by Mad-Eye.

"We you aware you were sheltering a werewolf?" Tonks asked. And in a neighborhood full of children! She was so furious, it was hard to keep her voice steady.

"No!" wailed Mrs. Rouch. "No! It was just a dog bite, it must have been, and we didn't report it because we didn't want the dog to be harmed—"

"Sheltering an unregistered werewolf is illegal—"

"So now that they know, they're not doing it anymore," interrupted Mad-Eye. "Last night was a full moon, and it must have been her first transformation. Right?" He waited for the parents to nod. "So there's no need to add insult to injury by arresting parents who just lost their daughter."

Damn it. Mad-Eye was right. "I'm sorry for your loss," said Tonks, and she really was. Tears were welling in her eyes, which didn't seem professional, but damnit, she was still a human being even when she was in uniform.

"You're sorry!" choked the woman. "You're taking her away and you say you're sorry—"

"The werewolf that bit her is the one that took her away," said Tonks sadly. "Your daughter died the night she was bitten. This isn't your daughter. This is a monster that's taken her place."

The woman wailed, but through her cries she admitted, "I know, I know, she's gone!"

Professionalism be damned, Tonks hugged the weeping woman, who collapsed in her arms, shaking with sobs. "I know she's gone," she cried. "My little girl is gone."

Tonks still had to do her job. "So, are we going to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures for the Werewolf Registration today? We can pick up the forms you'll need to get written permission from all your neighbors to house a werewolf." She pulled back a little to see the woman shaking her head.

"Mummy?" came a weak voice from the bed. "I dropped Toad. I want to hold Toad in case he's scared."

Tonks looked, and saw a plush toy toad on the floor by the bed. She drew her wand and pointed it at the toy. "Portus," she said quietly. Then she handed it to the werewolf. "Here you go dear," she said, making her voice sound cheerful as if the werewolf had her convinced she was talking to a human child. "What a cute toad."

The werewolf reached out a hand and took it. "Thank—" but the portkey activated and she was gone before she could finish the phrase.

"If you like, I could have the Werewolf Research Institute contact you later about collecting the remains for a funeral," said Tonks.

"No," said the woman. "No." Tonks made a note of that and left the parents to their grief.

She heard the man's angry voice as they left. "I told you we should have let her go with Greyback when he offered to take her off our hands!"

"But..." the voices faded into the distance as they walked away.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" asked Mad-Eye.

"We haven't had Indian for a while," said Tonks.

They chose a restaurant and apparated there. Mad-Eye chose a table in back and sat facing a corner, from which he could survey the door and the whole restaurant by swiveling his eye to look through the back of his own head. He soon scanned their food for poisons and discretely cast some silencing spells around their table.

"I just don't understand," complained Tonks, stirring her aloo gobi listlessly.

"Me neither," said Mad-Eye. "All right, I guess the Cruciatus curse isn't really necessary when we have veritaserum, but how is the Imperus curse any worse than Obliviate? I don't see why one should be classified as an Unforgivable but not the other. If the Ministry would just loosen up on their restrictions—"

That old argument. "No, that wasn't what I was talking about. I meant Lupin. You know him, right? From the war?"

Mad-Eye thought for moment, then said, "Oh, Remus Lupin! Haven't thought about him for years. Lost track of him after the war. I told him he'd make a damn good Auror, said I'd put in a good word for him, but he didn't seem interested. Why?"

"Is he gay or something?"

Mad-Eye smirked. "He never made a pass at me."

Tonks laughed harder than she intended. "Well, if he can resist your charms then he can't be gay."

"I didn't know him well enough to know anything about his personal life," said Mad-Eye. "He certainly didn't have an obvious girlfriend or boyfriend." He paused to reflect. "If he had, they never would have tolerated him going on all those dangerous missions. He took jobs I was afraid of. We didn't know how he survived them. Why bring him up now?" He took a bite of his tandoori chicken.

"Dumbledore invited him back into the Order."

Mad-Eye nodded. "Good. He's brave. Smart. Damn good dueler."

"Cute," added Tonks.

"I didn't notice," said Mad-Eye. "So what don't you understand?"

"I'm just not used to men saying no to me," Tonks grumbled.

Mad-Eye actually fixed both his eyes on her, which she found unnerving. There was a long pause before he spoke. "This is outside our official mentor-protege relationship, but do you want advice?"

Tonks nodded.

"Lupin must be a very cautious man," he said. "The fact that he's still alive proves that. Constant vigilance: he does it nearly as well as me. He's not going to rush into anything. Gradually get to know each other, and maybe he'll eventually trust you."

"But we can't get to know each other when we never even see each other," she complained. "He's teaching at Hogwarts now, and whatever else he's doing for Dumbledore is just solo missions."

"Hogwarts is surrounded by dementors these days, guarding against Black, but Dumbledore isn't letting them on the grounds for obvious reasons. There are a few extra Aurors stationed in Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. Let's see if we can get you assigned there so you can spend some time with your boyfriend. Damn, don't smile at me like that, you're blinding," he grumbled. He rotated his blue eye to point to the door behind him again, so she saw just its smooth white back.