A faint whiff of dungbombs, the yowl of an angry cat, and the patter of running feet combined to form a time-turner that transported Lupin back two decades. He abandoned the grading on his desk and opened his office door just in time to see the Weasley twins running by. "Impedimenta." Turquoise light shot from his wand and stopped both twins in their tracks. He grabbed one twin in each hand and yanked them into his office, closing the door behind them before those quietly running cat feet turned the corner. "Sit down, Messrs Weasley," he said, but they were still clumsy from the impediment jinx. "Relax," he added, pushing their awkward forms into a couple of chairs.
Over their panting, he just barely heard those graceful cat feet run past his office door.
"Professor, we can explain," said one of them, probably Fred.
"Quiet. Minnie might double back," he whispered. That silenced them, except for the panting of their lungs and the pounding of their hearts. He listened at the door for a bit longer, then returned to his seat behind his desk. "I'm glad I happened to run into you two. I've been meaning to have a talk with you about your homework, or rather your lack thereof. I know that you've been very busy recently—"
The twins exchanged a look of barely-suppressed panic.
"—studying for your OWLs," continued Lupin without skipping a beat. "This curriculum is challenging, particularly since I have noticed widespread lack of preparation among my students. I'm afraid that your previous Defense teachers may not have adequately prepared you for this year's coursework. There's a lot of catching up to do, which might seem overwhelming. But I want to emphasize that I have designed my lessons and homework assignments with practical, real-world applications in mind."
He had their attention, or at least they were staring at him as they caught their breath. He paused his professorial speech to look at them. "You must be tired of being told how closely you resemble your uncles, Fabian and Gideon."
The twins looked at each other.
"Not really," said maybe-Fred.
"Mum mentioned it once," said maybe-George.
"Really? The resemblance is so striking, I'd have thought that anyone who knew them..." Of course, so many of the people who'd been closest to Fabian and Gideon were dead. If anyone was going to tell these boys tales of their uncles' exploits, it would have to be him. "Those two were quite a team. I remember Gideon using that very jinx, impedimenta, to slow down a Death Eater enough for Fabian to hit him with a well-aimed entrail-expelling curse. The latter is a rather advanced curse I won't be covering, but the former should be well within your abilities even at your age if you apply yourselves. You would do well to honor your uncles' memories by cultivating as much of an interest in defense as they did, or more. Of course, I hope you never need to use such skills." Lupin briefly allowed his eyes to close. It had taken an ambush by five Death Eaters to take down the Prewett brothers.
He opened his eyes. Four identical brown eyes were staring at him. "I want you to know that I really mean it when I say I want you to succeed. If you need any help, please ask questions in class, or come to my office hours. As you didn't turn in last week's homework on jinxes, perhaps you need extra tutoring on this subject?"
Their knowledge was more extensive than he'd feared, a seemingly random assortment of things from both below and above their grade level. They learned quickly when they set their minds to it, and he made quick progress patching the holes in their knowledge.
He shouldn't let his enthusiasm for the subject, and the increasing enthusiasm of his students, make him lose track of time, for tonight was the full moon.
"I'm sure I've taken enough of your time," he said. "Please come to my office hours again. Shall we make an appointment now?"
"Tomorrow?" asked maybe-Fred.
"How about Tuesday?" suggested Lupin. "Four o'clock?"
"Sure!" said maybe-George. "Thank you."
"I'll write a note to remind you," he said. He jotted down "Tutoring, Lupin's office, 4:00 Tuesday," and handed it to them.
Maybe-Fred stared at the paper once he took it.
"That time does work for you, right?" Lupin asked.
"Sure, it's fine," said maybe-Fred. He showed the note to maybe-George, who gasped. The two of them locked eyes, and Lupin got the impression of information passing quickly between them.
"What?" asked Lupin.
"It's just, your handwriting…"
Lupin let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I know it's bad, but it's not all that bad, is it? It's a vestige of a childhood spent writing with ballpoint pens. My mother was a muggle, and we mostly lived amongst muggles, so I've got handwriting like a muggleborn. My parents assumed I'd never need to write with a quill, so I never properly learned how to use one. I could learn if I wanted I suppose, but it's never been a high priority."
The boys gasped. "They thought you were a squib? You? You're the best Defense professor we've had!"
"Now you're damning me with faint praise. Get out of my office if you're going to insult me," he smiled.
They laughed as they got up.
"Oh, and dungbombs are so generic," Lupin added. "Catnip really shows Minnie you're thinking of her."
When he opened his office door to let the twins out, he was shocked to see Tonks lurking in the hallway.
"Tonks!" exclaimed maybe-Fred.
"What are you doing back?" asked maybe-George.
"Fred! George! How you've grown!" she said, looking at each in turn. "You're not ickle firsties anymore. I'm scared to think of what pranks you might be pulling now. I'm not going to help you with any today, boys, sorry," she smiled.
"Pranks?"
"What do you mean?"
"We never do any pranks."
"Time for a different conversational subject. What are you doing here?"
"I heard Hogwarts finally got a decent Defense professor just a few years after I graduated, so I figured I'd reenroll."
"Good choice," said Fred.
"They let you do that? Since if they do, maybe we'll just skip most of this now and instead go to school later, when we're retired and have time," said George.
"Or at least after Snape has retired."
"And Binns had been exorcised."
She laughed. "That would be nice, unless their replacements are even worse. Actually boys, I'm here on business. I'm an Auror now, you know."
"Really?" asked maybe-Fred, looking at her uniform.
"I thought you were on your way to a fancy dress party."
"Isn't that the Sexy Auror costume from Party City?"
"I like this one much better than the Sexy Dementor costume."
"I'm glad you didn't go for the Sexy Vampire costume. That really sucked."
"Now the Sexy Werewolf costume—"
"Ew," interrupted Tonks. "Sorry boys, you wouldn't know this of course, but I had a rather bad experience with werewolves a few months ago, and don't want to hear the words 'sexy' and 'werewolf' in the same sentence."
"Oh yeah, we heard, the Aurors are really cracking down on werewolves now."
"Not so much recently I'm afraid, with Sirius Black still at large," she said sadly. "This manhunt's taking a lot of resources. Hopefully we'll catch him soon and things can go back to normal. You two are keeping an eye out, right? I know you go sneaking around Hogwarts at all hours."
"Tonks!"
"There's a professor standing right here!"
"Sorry, is someone talking to me? I can't hear a thing," said Lupin. "I think a nargle flew into my ear."
"What's a nargle?" asked Tonks, the first thing she'd said to him directly.
"I have no idea," he said. "But one of my second-year students is always going on about them."
Tonks tried to suppress a smile and continued. "MLE has decided to station some of us in and around Hogwarts, to be on the lookout for Sirius Black. It's not a laughing matter, boys."
"So you decided the door to my office was in particular need of guarding," said Lupin. "Thought this was his most likely haunt, did you?"
"What?"
"Go on, boys," Lupin urged the twins. "I'm sure you have homework to do." The twins scrammed, leaving the two of them alone in the hall.
"Are you here to arrest me?" Lupin asked. "Snape is convinced I'm the one who let Black in. You too, now?"
"What? No!"
"Criminal's former best friend starts job in heavily-guarded school, criminal somehow breaks into school shortly thereafter. It makes sense, really. Snape's trying to convince anyone who will listen."
"I never listened to Snape even when he was giving safety instructions in class. I'm not going to start now."
"So what are you doing here?"
"Like I said, I'm stationed here. Actually I just got off duty. So, you know. I just thought I'd stop by to say hi."
"Oh." The silence lengthened. "Hi."
"You're looking well," she said.
"I think the Hogwarts elves are trying to fatten me up," he said. "I'm sure I've gained weight since they've been feeding me."
"It looks good on you," she said.
"You should see me in my Sexy Werewolf costume from Party City."
Her barking laughter echoed down the hall. "That's your secret for infiltrating Greyback's pack!" she finally choked out.
"That's why I'm a professor, because I have all this knowledge for defeating dark creatures. It's simply a matter of the correct party supplies."
She laughed. "I've missed your jokes. Did you get my owls?"
"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't have time to reply, but this job is keeping me very busy."
"I understand."
"I'm sure you're busy as well. I don't mean to keep you, after a long shift on guard duty."
"And I have to be back early tomorrow. It's pretty late. Maybe I'll sleep here."
She wasn't expecting him to offer crash space in his quarters, was she? The moon wouldn't be up for a couple of hours, but she'd certainly notice his absence, tonight and in the morning. And he still had to take his final dose of wolfsbane for the month. He could feel the wolf stirring in him, getting restless, hoping to break free. He had to get to Snape's office.
She sensed his awkwardness and laughed. "You know about that guest room on the seventh floor, right? I could just stay there. No one else ever seems to use it, at least they didn't when I was here. Charlie and I discovered it when we were students."
Try as he might, he couldn't remember any guest room on the seventh floor. "Are you sure? My friends and I explored this castle very thoroughly as children, and I thought we'd found just about everything. Peter was particularly brilliant at finding every hidden passageway."
"It's in the left corridor," she said. "Across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance ballet."
He searched his memory. "I recall the tapestry, but... Show me. Now you've got my interest. I can't believe we missed a whole room."
She led the way. There was the tapestry, but there was just a blank wall across from it. She paced back and forth. "It was here, I swear it was! It was very nice, and private, no one ever found us... Here it is!" And indeed, there was a door where Lupin could have sworn no door had been before. "Told you so," she gloated, opening the door and pulling him in.
It was indeed a cozy guest room, nicely furnished with a grand bed, two nightstands, and a loveseat. There were no windows, but candles illuminated the room softly. A door in back led to a bathroom.
"I see we didn't discover all of Hogwarts's secrets," Lupin admitted. Something about her story bothered him. "So who's Charlie?"
She gave him a triumphant grin he didn't understand. "Charlie Weasley. Older brother to those twins. He was in my year, but a Gryffindor. You'd have gotten along great. He had no fear of dangerous beasts. What? I just meant you're both Gryffindors, both brave. Maybe I've got a thing for Gryffindors. Are you jealous?"
"What happened?" Lupin asked.
She shrugged. "It didn't work out."
His voice broke as he said, "I'm sorry."
She gave him a blank stare, then said, "Oh! I've got to remember that when you say something didn't work out for you, you're talking about betrayals and tragic deaths and whatnot. No, Charlie just got a job offer at a dragon sanctuary in Romania when he graduated, so we kind of drifted apart. He was always more interested in dragons than in girls anyway. We were never really serious. It's fine. What? What's wrong?"
Lupin's tongue felt clumsy, unable even to express his confusion. It was past time to say goodnight and head to Snape's office, then to the Shrieking Shack. "I just can't imagine loving someone enough to," he waved a hand vaguely at the bed, "and then just letting it end."
"I never said I loved him," said Tonks, who seemed just as confused as he was.
They stared at each other in mutual confusion for a while, then Tonks finally broke the silence. "Remus, you don't have to be so damn serious all the time! You're allowed to have a bit of fun. Like this." And just like that, she was kissing him.
He felt as if someone had hit him with some sort of stunning spell, as the shock spread from her lips to his, to the rest of his body. Oh Merlin, the impossible softness of her lips, her quiet gasps as he grabbed her body and pressed her to him, her taste, her scent, some floral chemical mixed with the unmistakable scent of a woman, a human, an addictive scent. He couldn't get enough of her, he wanted to breathe her, eat her, rend her flesh with his fangs and lap at the blood— He shoved her away. At least he'd shoved her into something soft, as she fell on the bed. This wasn't surprising, as it took up most of the room.
"Remus!" she gasped. "I thought I'd have to teach you about kissing, but you're doing fine. Come on, I want some more of that."
He had to remember how to talk. "Severus," he said. "Snape."
"Why the hell are you bringing up that git?" she asked, furious. "You sure know how to ruin the mood."
"Potion," he choked out. "I need a potion."
"Oh!" she said with a delighted smile. "I didn't know you were ready. That's very responsible of you, but I can't believe you were going to talk to Snape about this." She pulled a small pink vial out of her pocket, broke the seal, uncorked it, releasing a cloying vanilla scent with a touch of bitterness humans probably couldn't detect, and drank it. "No worries! Now there's no chance of me getting pregnant tonight."
There was no chance he'd remember how to talk under these conditions. He bolted from the room and ran down all the stairs to Snape's dungeon office. He heard the patter of Tonks's small combat boots behind him, then a thud and some swearing as she tripped and fell. He didn't slow down.
Snape was waiting for him, holding a goblet. "Cutting things close, aren't you?" he said as he handed it over.
Lupin grabbed the goblet and took a gulp. It was very difficult to choke down at the best of times, and even harder while panting. He concentrated on getting down one sip at a time. It would defeat the whole purpose if he threw it up. The wolf in him recognized it as poison, not the delicious meat that had been in his grasp moments ago.
"If you're going to impose upon my time by making me brew this potion, the least you can do is show up punctually to actually drink it," complained Snape. "Believe me, I would be just as happy to skip this chore, and let you rip yourself to shreds every month, even if I did have to teach more of your classes during your recovery. Your students deserve a qualified teacher, meaning, as the barest minimum qualification, a human."
Someone banged on the door of Snape's office. "Remus? Are you in there? I need to talk to you."
Lupin choked down the last drop of potion and thudded the goblet down on the desk. "I don't suppose there's a back door out of your office? Or a window?" he pleaded.
Snape shook his head, a slight smile twisting his lips. Of course there were no windows in the dungeons.
Lupin steeled himself, opened the door, and charged past Tonks. He hadn't hit her, but she fell over anyway.
"Remus! What the hell—"
He was up the hall and running up the stairs two at a time already. He heard Tonks ask Snape, "Where is he going?"
He heard Snape reply, "The Whomping Willow, I believe."
Lupin skidded to a stop, clinging to the banister. He turned to face Snape. "You wouldn't," he said pathetically.
"I know not to go near the Whomping Willow!" said Tonks. "I'm not an idiot," but man and werewolf ignored her and continued their conversation around her.
"You're a better man than Sirius, aren't you?" Lupin pleaded.
"Of course I am, Lupin," said Snape. "This young lady asked a question, so I answered her. That's what polite people do."
"That's what Sirius did," said Lupin. "You called it attempted murder when he did it."
"I asked Sirius a slightly different question," said Snape to Lupin. "This young lady didn't ask me how to get past the Whomping Willow to see what it's guarding," continued Snape, smiling. "So there's no way she could find out."
Tonks turned to Snape. "What?"
Lupin felt the moon pulling at his bones. He had no time. He resumed his sprint, out of the castle, across the great lawn, to the Willow. He hit the knothole with a well-aimed rock to stop the branches from whomping, and ducked into the entrance to the tunnel under the roots. Then he lit his wand to light the tunnel and, hunched over, sprinted the mile or so to Hogsmeade, coming up through the basement of the Shrieking Shack. He locked the door behind him. Can't collapse yet, got to undress and stash clothes and wand where they won't get destroyed by the wolf— No, the potion should make him harmless, if it worked, if he'd drunk it in time... He stashed his stuff safely out of the wolf's reach anyway.
He'd done it. He'd drunk the potion, and could still taste it. He was here before moonrise, so even if the potion didn't have time to take full effect, he was no danger to others. He could stop panicking. The nightmarish vision of himself ripping strips of tasty flesh off of Tonks's sweet body could stop now. It really could.
He was thankful for the agony of transformation driving all thoughts from his mind.