A/N:

Hey All! Sorry for the late post! So I'll make this note quick. Thanks to everyone! You're all great. Special thanks to my reviewers from last chapter:

StarkStruck11 (It will be. I'm excited to write it!), icgcarlos (Thanks! Dany (when she finally shows up in this complicated picture) may switch things up a bit more too!), Oberon Sexton (I feel almost bad for Stannis. Almost. And at least Davos is a good person to have your back!), HermioneandMarcus (You're welcome!), Natsirt2610 (thanks for your two reviews! And I agree with you with the Starks bit. Ned or Robb would be great if only people weren't betraying them left and right. And good to see a Robb fan!), and Anon (I would not want to be Gregor's prisoner... and hehe glad it got you!).

Disclaimer: I still own zero successful series including ASOIAF and GoT.

Cassana woke up on the floor, spread out, her back aching from the hard wood. The days were long when she was stuck in the cart. She wasn't allowed out, and Catelyn, though supportive, was not the most social companion. Cassana was afraid of how much she could say to her. She didn't know if Catelyn would understand everything currently going through her mind, her thoughts of Stannis and her realization that Joffrey—although not the true king—may be a better one than her brother.

She saw the shadow though. She knew what killed Renly can't rule. But she hated the Lannisters, and understandably so. So Cass sat, silent with her own thoughts.

Robb would be a good king. He had been a good king as far as Cass had seen. There were days in his camps that she would see him stop and talk to those who had been injured, those who wanted to listen to their king's words and be inspired by his cause again.

And he's smart too. He would know how to handle the Seven Kingdoms.

Cassana took back the thought. Robb was a Northern boy, despite his Tully look. He would not know how to run a kingdom based on new gods and more backstabbing than council meetings. And he did not want it. Robb wanted to go home, and Cass could not conceive a way to convince him otherwise. He does not want it. And I have no power to force it upon him nor anyway to do so.

But the cold truth of Joffrey being the best option made her skin squirm. "It is not my job to find a king," Cass mouthed to herself. No. It was her job to make sure they get out of this alive. That was it.

A week had passed since she had seen the sun truly in the sky or the moon, silver and large, above Westeros. But it would be not much longer after that that Jaime had unlocked the cart's door. His green eyes shone through the night. "Is Lady Stark asleep?"

Cass said nothing but stood up and approached him. Catelyn was lying on the wooden bench, her eyes closed. Cass couldn't sleep that night—nor most nights. Camps were loud, and she was unused to being around so many lions. But this particular lion made her smile. The sight of Jaime brought her comfort. She hadn't seen him since they had left Riverrun. "You finally call…"

"Shh." He grabbed her hand and took her outside. The night air hit her skin and felt so, so refreshing compared to the confines of the cart. She inhaled deeply and looked upward, taking the dirty bangs away from her eyes to see the moon.

"My Septa told me that in Essos, some people believe the moon to be an egg."

Jaime put the back of his hand against her forehead. "They're not giving you enough water, are they? You're talking madness." He handed her a water-skin on his belt and she drank while he talked. "I'm sorry I didn't come for you sooner. I have to at least give the impression I intended to imprison you."

"You did imprison me."Cass handed the water back to him and directed her eyes down to the camps. There were many men singing, drinking, but her guards were away from the cart. Jaime was the one who locked the door where Catelyn slept. "Where are my guards?" Cass asked.

"Come." He turned around and kept looking to see if she'd follow. Cass didn't. Jaime snorted. "I just want to talk, Cassana. And there's some rabbit if you're hungry."

She was hungry. "I'm only coming for the rabbit."

"Of course you are."

As she entered the Kingslayer's tent, she could see his Kingsguard sword still attached to his belt on the floor, but by it was another blade. It was still wrapped, and Cass moved to touch it, avoiding the impending conversation.

"Stop."

She picked it up anyway, as Jaime turned from the blowing flap, and unwrapped the sword. It was magnificent looking—stunning. There were rubies and diamonds in the gold hilt. Black and red streaks curved in what must have been Valyrian steel. "What is this?"

"A sword, Cass. Ever heard of it?" Jaime let her hold the heavy weapon in her hands and watched curiously as she swiped the air. "My father gave it to me."

"It's magnificent."

"It's Ned Stark's old blade." He looked at it with disdain. "Maybe you could return it to him one day." The tent was rich with red and gold fabrics. Candles burned and dripped wax. There was a wooden table in the back with an untouched dinner, and the smell of spiced meat and heavy potatoes made her tongue lop out.

Cass tried to focus. "Maybe you can. Jaime…" She set the sword down and approached him. "Why did you take me out of the cell?"

"I don't want to think of you as a prisoner." His green eyes darted to the food. "Gods, you're skinny. You were never this skinny before. Eat."

"You're not going to let them send me to a cell, are you? Are you going to trap me there, Jaime?" Cass had wondered that the entire time. She would be useless to Robb and the Seven Kingdoms trapped in a cell. She drifted towards the food under Jaime's gaze, her lady manners absent from her thoughts as she saw the rabbit in front of her. It was perfectly cooked, red in the middle with plump juices flowing all over the plate. She stuffed a piece of meat in her mouth, but almost gagged at the sudden taste. It was so seasoned, so rich from what she was used to. She moved on to a peach.

Jaime waited for her to swallow and then approached her. "I know I have shit for honor, but I would do nothing to betray you. Don't you know that? Can't you understand who my vows lie with?"

She had hated him for a while, but realistically, he had done a lot for her. He could have let me die. He could have taken Riverrun and never came to the Twins, but he did come. She just wanted to be sure that she could…that she… "Me," she said sternly. She wasn't dumb, just nervous. Just…she didn't truly understand him. He loved his family, but he was willing to give up so much to make sure that she was okay, that her life would be what she wanted it to be. And you have done the same for him, haven't you? Stannis wants his head, and you did so much to save it. "There will be no vows of any kind though. You know that."

"Maybe. But Cass…"

"No." Cass took a bite of the fruit and quickly swallowed. "I realize how I sound…Jaime…I'm not ungrateful for what you've done for me."

"Fooled me."

She grinned a little. "I'm serious."

"And I'm not ungrateful either. I know that those men in Robb's camp would have killed me. You saved my life." He laughed at one of his own thoughts, but then said, "I don't think you understood me completely. I did not mean my vows to you were marriage ones."

Cass hadn't understood him at all then. "Then what do you mean?"

"I know you compare yourself to your mother." He came even closer towards her, white coat flapping from his stride. "And I can't say I remember her, but I know of Estermont and Greenshit."

"Greenstone."

Jaime raised an eyebrow. "If you say so. You are not an Estermont, Cassana. You are no Stark or Lannister or Tully. You are a Baratheon and men would flock to follow you." He grabbed her other hand. "I would..."

"And take your son from the throne?" Cass looked at their laced fingers and set down her food. A part of her wanted to laugh from his suggestion and another part of her wanted to cry. Too many people wanted that damn seat for her to even imagine having it for herself. "It is moot." The men that would follow her were North, not in King's Landing. "Stannis is the heir, not me."

"Stannis is fighting in a war. His life is constantly at risk."

"But he is not dead."

"Now he isn't." Jaime didn't mean to upset her, but he was. He saw that Cass was shaking and put his hands on his shoulder. "Cass, you must accept that. War is not…"

"Stop." She could only see the graves in her mind. Balon was dead, and she knew what the seven pointed star meant. And the last grave…the one with all the heat…. "Don't say that. Don't tell me that."

Jaime shook his head. "I know it scares you. You do not want power."

She disagreed. "I do not want that much power. I do not want men constantly at my back."

"I would be there, Cass. A Kingsguard serves for life."

She turned to him. "That vow you would follow? Jaime, no. I don't want it. Don't even suggest that. Don't bring it up again." Her voice was becoming louder, more strained. Cass realized she had been practically shouting and she felt the salt water on her cheeks. I do not want that godsforsaken chair. "I rather have Joff sit on the bloody thing."

He let go of her hand at that and turned away. Cass did not like that reaction one bit.

"Jaime," she called and he looked at her, green eyes sad but resigned. He was so close to her and she could feel how scared he was of everything. It frightened her to see him like this too, to be so torn over how he felt for her and his family. She hated seeing it. "You came to the Twins for me. You joined the Kingsguard for Cersei." She scratched at her hands. "But what do you want?"

"What I want has never really seemed to be anyone's concern."

"It's mine." She held his hand. "What do you want? Right now. If you could have anything."

He was silent for awhile, but when he spoke, the words seemed to flow, rush out. "I'd want to go back." The words echoed the same as Robb's before, and Jaime touched her hair. "But not to the Red Keep or Casterly Rock. I'm not cut out to be a lord, Cass. I want to go back to being a knight with Ser Arthur Dayne. I want to start this again and do it right. I want to fill the White Book with what I've done and what my men have done and protect someone worth protecting."

She felt, strangely, upset by his words. Robb had talked of marriage and children, but as she looked at Jaime now, she realized that he did not want the same— that he was the Warrior at heart. But she gripped his hand still, wondering if he had been given the option to, if he would... "If I were Queen, I could give you anything."

He stiffened. "I thought you didn't want to talk about that."

"If you really think Stannis will die…then I could be crowned." The idea was only appealing in one way. "I could do anything. Cersei saw to it with Barristan…" Her thoughts drifted. What am I thinking?

"What are you saying?"

"I could dismiss you too." She said softly, nervousness creeping through her skin. The precedent was there, but what she was trying to say wasn't. "I could take away all your vows."

"Cass?"

She looked away from her hands and looked at him, taking in the beard growing on his cheeks, the scratches and scars on his pale and bruised skin. She looked at him and saw Cersei, she saw Tywin and the Kingslayer and everything she was afraid of. But she saw Jaime too. Cass saw what he felt for her, and knew that she owed him the truth. "I love you, Jaime."

She turned around as soon as she said it, ashamed almost, sad and scared. Cass thought maybe she'd feel relieved at the admission, but she didn't. Her breathing seemed to stop, the air punctured out by the raw words. Her hands trembled and she scrubbed them against her legs, impatient. "I'm sorry." Cass shook her head. "I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He was hugging her back, chin against her shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around her core. "Gods, Cass. Stop crying."

She wanted to, but the tears wouldn't be swallowed down. "But I…"

"I know, Cass. I've known. It's okay."

"No." She shook her head. "I love you, and it means nothing."

Jaime turned her around and directed her face back to him, wiping the stains with his thumb. "It means something to me."

She tried to smile, but the muscles wouldn't work. Cass tried to relax and lean into him. It made her feel safe—his body right there, warm and strong and so close to her. She let his arms move across her dress and stomach before she turned around, shy until she kissed him.

Jaime attempted to turn away from her, but only for a second. She knew they shouldn't be doing this, that it was pointless, but she would regret it if she didn't. Gods knew when she would see this man again like this. Gods knew when they'd have a chance alone together, when he could hold her and kiss her and make her smile and pretend all of this never happened. Her lips moved aggressively over his own, desperate for the friction, for the growing familiarity of his taste. And as he pushed back on her, all tongue and skin and love, she tried to keep the feeling in her. This chance may not happen again, and she needed to remember it.

She hadn't been drinking or eating nearly enough, and the sudden exertion made her feel weak. But she pushed that pain aside. It was distracting when all she wanted was to focus on Jaime. There should have been no thoughts of the wedding and where she was going and how this will never happen again. But that was all she could think about. Even as Jaime slid her down, back flat on the feather, makeshift bed. Even as the knight took off his white coat and linen shirt and looked over her, knees pressed against her sides, Cass could only think of where they would both be after all this.

And for some reason, that just made her even more determined.

She licked her lips when they broke. "I want this."

"Do you to understand what this means?" he asked warily while his hands were running along the length of her ribs and hips. "If we do this…"

"I don't like this side of you. Too much the shining white knight." She smirked. "Don't you want me too?"

Jaime did not reply—not directly at least. He fingered a loose bang from her head. "You don't want a white knight? Most girls do."

"If I wanted a white knight, I wouldn't be under you." Cass touched his beard. "I like it."

He kissed her again, harshly trailing from her cheek to her mouth and then her neck. Cass half-laughed, the feeling weird, ticklish, but she suppressed any further noise in fear it might deter him. He growled, the noise reverberating off her skin, "It's good that I don't have any honor."

"And I could be sold to some man anyway." She let her fingers trail down his neck and to his chest. If this war ends. If I live through all of this. The cold was there, and so was the Stranger. She knew the Stark's words and they were too true. The days were getting shorter and darker, and shouldn't she live them the way she wanted to? While she still could? Those thoughts calmed her down, filled the consuming love with a hollow ache—a dull, deep pain. The veil of lust and heat were gone, and her words held only sincerity. "If you asked me Jaime, I would say yes."

He tried to focus on her body and not her words, but eventually said, "I didn't ask."

"I realize that," Cass said, feeling slighted by his words. "I'm just saying I would. That's it."

The comment had him move off her, which stunned Cass a bit. Jaime looked at her and then stood up from the bed before walking back to the window. He seemed angry, frustrated, and confused, and Cass didn't know what to say to have him turn back around. But she immediately wished she took the words back. Maybe I am a fool. I am expecting him to be someone he's not. Embarrassed, Cassana sat up and waited for him to speak, to do anything except pace and stare. "Jaime…"

He spoke sharply. "You're ruining your life this way. I would have just ruined you, Cass."

Why aren't you? "Since when do you care about consequences? I can make my own decisions. I'm not a foolish little girl."

"You're so young. You don't…"

"Stop it." She stood. "I am a woman, Jaime. I am a lady. Don't speak to me like this."

"You act so strong and brave." Jaime turned. "But I know the truth, Cassana. You don't have to hide it from me. You're afraid. And I won't fuck you just to make you feel better. I won't promise you that I'll marry you when we both know it won't happen." The knight lowered his head. "I was foolish enough once to think that loving someone was enough. I won't think that way again."

She couldn't argue that she wasn't afraid, but she had more reason than pure fear driving her actions. "I just thought…" You're the one that called me here. What do you want, Jaime? Cass sniffed, annoyed. "But you're right. It isn't enough. I shouldn't expect love. I grew up my whole life knowing that. I don't know why I thought it would be different now."

"It isn't." Jaime moved back to her, grabbed her hands, and dragged her up to face him. He pulled her close. "Don't misunderstand me. I wish it was, but I made my choices."

Cass lowered her head. "And why do I feel like I haven't made any?"

Though she had made a choice, a giant one. She had decided to go to the Red Keep and King's landing, and the memory of that stirred an even older memory of when she had first been told she was going there—when the stag first had a crown.

Cass wondered what drove her brother to want it so badly. She had thought her whole life that it was because of Lyanna Stark—that his love for her forced Robert's hand into war and blood and death. That Rhaegar's terrible actions had to be avenged and it was appropriate for all the Targaryens to die.

I never really thought until now that maybe…

But that was a lie. She didn't need to lie to herself. She had thought about it—when Jaime had taken her from the Stark camp and people called it a kidnapping. And even before that, briefly, when Ned Stark was marked a kidnapper when they had fled the Red Keep. And now. He's your captor now, but you love him still, don't you? Motives and emotions were not clear. But it was Jaime's words that were for some reason ringing in her ears as she tried to sort her mind out. You came willingly enough.

Jaime went over to the desk in his tent. "There was something I actually planned on showing you."

"Is there?" She took the note he handed to her, the words in the page seeming scrambled, frantic She felt her chest collapse inwards, her ribs feeling crushed as she struggled to breathe. "This is from Cersei."

He nodded. "Good to see you can still read. Keep going."

Cass did. Her eyes read through the ink stains and scrambled letters to make out what Cersei was trying to tell Jaime. And it became obvious to Cass that this wasn't some love note, despite her first sentence on the page. "She begs for your return."

Jaime did not say anything. He turned away from Cassana and ran a hand through his blond hair.

"She knows I'm with you."

"Yes."

"And also begs for my head."

"I told you as much before."

"And I still haven't changed my mind." She set the letter down. "I also see your son is getting married soon."

Jaime took the paper back. "She's waiting for me. Though I don't see why. She never pretended he was mine before." He looked at her, deadly serious. "I can tell her you're dead, Cassana. I can tell her I killed you, and you can still leave."

"You're stubborn, aren't you?"

"As stubborn as you are. But fine." Jaime approached her again and stroked her arms. His hands went up to her shoulders and then her neck, and for a while, he just held her. Cass felt his chest fall, inhale and exhale as he thought about what he would say next. "I'll tell her you're no true prisoner. You're a ward, like Sansa Stark. I'll make her promise not to hurt you."

Cassana hesitated and looked up to see his face. "What do you want from me?"

"Just stay alive."

"There must be something…"

"No." Jaime said, a little too harshly. "I love you. I didn't think I had to explain what that meant. But it means that I would die for you. Keeping you safe goes along with that."

Her heart dropped. His passion and words still made her nervous beyond any clear reason. Cass felt herself fidget. To deflect she said, "You loved her once too."

"And you of all people know we don't choose who we fall in love with."

Or when. She touched his beard and then let her fingers trail down his neck. I wish I could control this though. I wish I didn't love you, but I do. She bit her lip, that not being the complete truth, and kissed him again. I wish I wanted to love you and knew that this would turn out good in the end, Jaime. That I could be as happy with you as I could be with Robb.

But she didn't know that. She didn't know anything anymore, but Cass kissed him anyway, trying to forget who she was for a moment.

He did not come to see her again.

Catelyn Stark did not know that she had gone, and Cassana would keep it that way. She felt guilty for too many things—for loving Jaime Lannister but for doing nothing about it. For that gnawing ache that told her not to love him, to not to bother with someone like him. For Robb Stark. She felt guilty about Robb Stark and thought maybe she had sold him to lions.

He would have been dead otherwise.

But as she stared at Catelyn, sitting across from her in their cart—face pale and so uncertain—Cass thought that this was just a delayed killing, a prolonged death.

She had thought the same when she had first left King's Landing for Robb's camp, Ned Stark in tow. Cersei was dragging this whole ordeal out, playing cat and mouse. She's not so good at games as she thinks she is. Cass swallowed as she jostled under the cart's movements. She has too many secrets to hide, and that is a weakness. Though proclaiming them would also be accusing Jaime, which was something she couldn't do. And who would she tell them too? Who would protect her from Cersei if the woman decided she wanted to see Cass' head?

Jaime will. And Tywin. Lord Tywin will need my head intact for my brother.

But the thought of being sent back to Stannis now, and Melisandre, filled her with a different sort of dread. They will take their Red God and go to Dragonstone and stay there. Maybe if she thought it enough, it would be true.

Night after night, the same thoughts would circle. She was antsy. There was no room to pace, and she did not want her fear to show through to Catelyn. The woman was worried for her son and husband—for all her children. There was one night that Cass woke to Catelyn screaming in her sleep. Cass jostled her to wake her up. She had tears already on her cheeks.

"I dreamed that Walder Frey killed him."

Cass didn't need to ask who. She grabbed Catelyn's hand. "But he didn't." He's dead. I killed Walder Frey. Jaime's words sounded back to her. He'd die for me. I've killed for Robb. Would she die for him too?

"He was bleeding so much." Catelyn's grip was painful. "And then they walked over and were cutting his…" Her voice caught. Catelyn inhaled deeply and then sat up straight. "I'm sorry, Cassana."

Your son almost died and you're apologizing? "He won't die." Cass repeated, for Catelyn and her sakes.

The cart then slowed until it stopped completely. Cass stumbled onto her knees and then moved to sit on the bench, grimacing at the pain. We've stopped. This night they had carried on, not stopping, and Cass had wondered why before. It must have been well into the night, maybe almost dawn, by now. Why does Jaime want to stop now?

She walked to the barred window in the back of the cart and could see the Lannister men's tired eyes begin to ease with relief. Cass paced back and sat on the bench again, head drooping.

Catelyn noticed the strange behavior immediately. "What is it?"

She was almost relieved that she would be out of this cart, but she knew this place would bring no solace. It would be exhausting, torturous, and she had both awaiting and dreading this moment. "It is King's Landing."

A/N:

Next chapter is the Red Keep, I promise. Thanks for reading!