CHAPTER 2

Seedshine flailed in her mossy nest, scattering tiny green scraps all around the nursery. Two long, cold moons were finally near their end. It was the middle of the night, but time beckoned for her to finally give birth to her long-awaited babies.

Something stirred next to her and through hazy vision she saw Fernberry's bright green eyes peering down at her anxiously.

"The kits…" Seedshine murmured before a tremor went down her side. Fernberry nodded and then disappeared, probably to get Wolfeye, the ShadowClan medicine cat, and his apprentice. Throughout this whole ordeal, Fernberry had been the kindest– more supportive than Seedshine's pregnant sister, who even now lay purposefully ignorant in the farthest corner of the nursery.

Before Seedshine could register anything else, the den became a flurry of activity. Dewsong and Lilypool shepherded their kittens out into the middle of camp to stay out of the way, though the two older queens cast Seedshine glares of disdain. Whitestream, Seedshine's sister, waddled heavily out with a look equally as contemptuous. The dark face of Wolfeye appeared above the laboring queen, pushing cool, wet moss towards her muzzle. Another contraction wracked Seedshine's body and she felt the warm paw of the medicine cat press gently into her side. Fernberry sat next to the lumbering medicine cat, though she was round with kits herself. Behind the two of them, Seedshine could distinguish the annoyed growling of her mate, Snaketooth, just outside the cozy den.

Only a few minutes passed, though it seemed like a lifetime, when Wolfeye shoved a stick up by Seedshine's face and meowed in her ear, "The first one is coming. Bite onto the stick and push."

She didn't see the faint look of worry cross the medicine cat's face as she followed his directions. She was very young, not even a year old yet, and still not quite fully grown, though a fairly healthy queen.

Seedshine bit down onto the stick just as a massive wave of pain cascaded down her whole body. She wanted to cry out but couldn't with the stick in her mouth. Something warm and sticky tumbled down onto the moss near her tail, but she was too weary to look up. Her vision became one big blur and all she could see were movements of figures around her. Sounds seemed to get louder and louder, and at the same time to make less sense. Suddenly two huge eyes were glittering in front of her own, with what emotion, she could not tell. One of the eyes was deep coppery amber, the other a clear blue. Wolfeye's rumbling voice came so close to her straining ears it seemed to reverberate through her skull.

"Stay awake Seedshine! Stay awake!"

More minutes passed and Seedshine remained barely on the verge of consciousness, when the second kit passed through her body and into the world. If it were physically possible, the second birth was more painful than the first and the cream-colored queen passed out for a split second.

"One more!" hissed Wolfeye to her, "You're almost done."

She couldn't feel her kittens suckling, but her whole body ached so much, Seedshine figured there wasn't anything else to feel but agony during kit-birth.

An hour or so more passed by, though now the time flew by like a hawk after its next meal. The third kitten squeezed effortlessly into life and Seedshine could now discern the sounds of the other cats rasping away at her baby, cleaning it and helping it to breathe.

"My babies," she whispered, trying to lift her head to see, but as she did so a tiredness swept over her that she could not fight.

The last thing she heard was Wolfeye's voice soothing her, "You can sleep now Seedshine, it's over."

Then she drifted into unconsciousness.

When Seedshine awoke, it was Sunhigh. Another night had passed since she had given birth. She meandered back into wakefulness, unaware of how long she had been asleep, her body still aching tremendously. It took her a moment to become conscious of her surroundings, and it was then that she noticed something was wrong.

With an adrenaline burst of energy, she heaved her head up to gaze at the curve of her belly. In the place where three little kittens should have been, there was nothing.

Seedshine felt like screaming, but all she could muster was a strangled gasp, "My kits! Where…?"

She was so caught up in her sudden panic that she didn't notice Fernberry's gentle presence. Whitestream and Dewsong weren't in the nursery, but Lilypool was curled up with her kits in the corner and Fernberry seemed to have been laying pressed up against Seedshine's back. The pretty white queen startled at the sound of the distraught mother's voice. She jumped to her paws, giving Seedshine a soft lick between the ears.

Seedshine turned to stare at the other she-cat, horror in her eyes, her mind racing.

"Fernberry…my kits…where are they?" she rasped.

Fernberry gave her a reassuring nuzzle, "Let's get you to Wolfeye. He will explain everything. Can you walk?"

Seedshine struggled to her paws, her head spinning with a frightening combination of emotions. With Fernberry's help, she took the necessary steps across the ShadowClan camp and into the medicine den. Inside, a large black figure sat hunched over a brown tabby apprentice, the head of a thorn held tightly between the figure's teeth. In one quick yank, the barbed thorn lay on the ground, free of the apprentice's paw. A rumbling voice growled from the silhouette.

"Now lick your paw until the bleeding stops, and do it outside of my den!"

With a surprised hiss, the apprentice, Hawkpaw, scrambled to his paws and dashed out of the medicine cat's den as fast as he could.

The shadowy form then turned to face the she-cats standing at the entrance of the den. He was a big jet-black tom cat with mismatched amber and blue eyes. A blaze of white fur stood out glowingly on his forehead. Scars crisscrossed his broad chest, wandering up his muscular shoulders. He had the build of a warrior. This was Wolfeye; despite his battle-ready appearance he was ShadowClan's medicine cat. His apprentice must have been out caring for the elders or gathering herbs, as she was not present in the den. When Wolfeye saw that the cat accompanied by Fernberry was Seedshine, his eyes widened before swiftly darkening with unreadable sentiment.

"Thank you for bringing her here Fernberry. You are dismissed," the medicine cat dipped his head gratefully. Once Fernberry was gone, he turned to Seedshine. Before the flustered queen could open her mouth, he spoke her thoughts.

"You are looking for your kits," he lowered his head, "I'm am sincerely sorry to have to tell you this, but…you have no kits."

Seedshine's jaw dropped, her body flinching as though she had been struck. She ventured a timid question, "W-what…what do you mean?"

"The third kit was born dead. The other two suffocated in your birth canal. They had already suffered severe brain damage and their hearts stopped shortly after they were cleaned. You fell unconscious after your last kit was birthed. You had lost a lot of blood. I've let you rest for the past day and a half," the tom meowed gently.

A sob shook Seedshine's body. Through sorrowful heaves she whimpered, "May I see them?"

Wolfeye looked up at her again, his eyes glittering with hurt as he explained, "I'm afraid not. Snaketooth, Amberstar, and I buried them before the other kits could see. As far as the little ones know, your kits were given a special mission by StarClan that required their presence up in SilverPelt."

"You didn't even have a vigil for them?" fury climbed into Seedshine's voice, her weariness abandoned as cold reality sank in. Her shoulders jumped in chorus with pained sniffles.

"I am very sorry Seedshine. I discussed things with Snaketooth before doing anything and he said that burying them as soon as possible was the best option. He said he hoped it wouldn't hurt as much for you not to see them."

"What does he know about anything?!" Seedshine shrieked before curling into a ball on the floor of the den, whimpering, "I didn't even get to say goodbye…"

Wolfeye took a step towards the grieving queen, "Seedshine, you're still practically a kit yourself. Your body simply couldn't handle the strain of pregnancy at so young an age. Give it some time; once you've grown a bit you can try for kits again." His tail aimed to land soothingly on her shoulder, but the queen smacked it out of the way with bare claws. When she met his gaze, her eyes were blazing with the wrath of a thousand angry mothers.

"Get. Out," she hissed.

Wolfeye dipped his head, "If you need anything-"

"Get OUT!"

The burly ex-warrior turned tail and fled.

She hadn't meant for any of this to happen.

She had been seven moons old when little Snakepaw and Falconpaw toddled into the apprentice's den. Snakepaw had been hopelessly shy, Falconpaw full of confidence and vigor, leading his brother along like a lost kit. The first time Snakepaw laid eyes on the thin, graceful Seedpaw, he couldn't look away. His mouth started to slowly drop open until Redpaw and Whitepaw nudged the unknowing cream she-cat and all three started giggling.

Whitepaw whispered teasingly into Seedpaw's ear, "I think he likes you."

Embarrassed by the she-cat apprentices, Snakepaw turned his head in shame, his cheeks burning. He would talk to Seedpaw later when her sisters weren't around.

It took a few days before he worked up the nerve to talk to the pretty she-cat, and when he did, he melted into her kindly presence. She was so sweet, and so beautiful. He thought he loved her.

Two and a half moons passed by and Snakepaw and Seedpaw were head-over-paws for each other. With Seedpaw's final assessment coming up in a couple weeks, Snakepaw asked to see her one night by the lakeshore, while their clanmates were asleep. They snuck out, timing their escapes so any cat still awake or guarding camp wouldn't be suspicious. It was a half-moon, but there was no possibility of them being caught. Wolfeye had stayed behind because Dewsong had gone into labor before he could leave, and the RiverClan medicine cat, Echosky, always cut through WindClan's turf to return home. With the moon only half its size, the stars shimmered exceptionally brightly, even though the clouds of Leaf-bare had begun to skitter across the slowly-freezing sky.

"Seedpaw, you know I love you, right?" Snakepaw had asked, fear apparent in his eyes as he said the three words he had wanted to say since he first saw her.

Seedpaw reached forward and touched her nose to his, "Of course! And I love you too."

She padded closer to his warmth and they both sat facing the lake, their tails twining as they watched the stars. There was a peaceful silence, broken by a question from Snakepaw.

"When we're warriors, do you think we'll be mates?"

Seedpaw flashed him a confused look, "I-I thought we already were. Do we have to be warriors to be mates?"

Snakepaw let out a little chuckle, "Well, mates have kits together, and apprentices don't have kits."

"Who said you have to have kits to be mates?" Seedpaw rebutted, flashing him a grin.

Three days later and Seedpaw began to feel strange inside. She was a bit nauseas and sluggish, her paws felt like tree trunks, and her head ached tremendously. She tottered through a border patrol, thankful that hunting and fighting weren't involved. When she returned to camp, she headed straight to Wolfeye in the medicine den.

The black-furred tom sniffed her sides and touched his paws to her paw pads and flank.

When he revealed her to be pregnant, the ground seemed to drop from beneath her. She leaned over and vomited onto the dirt. Not only was she still just an apprentice, but every day the weather grew colder, and prey scarcer.

Wolfeye gave her some herbs: a pinch of lavender stems to calm the shock, some watermint to ease her stomach, and a bit of witch hazel ointment which he rubbed into her shoulders to give her some energy. Then he left her in his den to find Snakepaw and see if Amberstar was in camp. He returned moments later to retrieve Seedpaw, still seated wide-eyed and silent. She followed him shakily to the leader's den.

Inside, Snakepaw was already there, pressed close to the floor, his eyes scanning the den nervously, afraid to look at Amberstar sitting rigidly in her moss nest not a tail-length away. The leader was a middle-aged, muscular she-cat with a mottled tortoiseshell pelt and piercing amber eyes. She was known to be firm, though not terribly strict, and caring of her clanmates. The position of leadership had been granted to her for her ruthless fighting abilities and her loyal heart. It was the first of these two qualities that set Snakepaw on edge. Surely he was in trouble to be brought to the leader's den.

If it were possible for Snakepaw's eyes to widen more, they did at the appearance of his mate entering the den, Wolfeye behind her.

"What have you come to speak to me about?" Amberstar asked, her voice stern.

Seedpaw lowered her head to the ground, her lips clamped tightly shut, unwilling to speak. Thankfully, Wolfeye did it for her.

"Seedpaw is pregnant."

Snakepaw's jaw fell open, but Seedpaw didn't look to see his reaction. She just stood there, bracing for the fury of her leader. When Amberstar responded, there was no anger in her voice though.

"Then we will plan on assessing her later this week. I'm sure that Patchbelly will have no qualms with her becoming a warrior a little early. From what I hear, Seedpaw is quite advanced in her training. The only issue I see occurring is her naming ceremony. Seedpaw, do you wish to have your ceremony immediately after your assessment, granted you pass, of course, or would you like to wait for your sisters?"

For the first time, Seedpaw raised her eyes to look at her leader. Amberstar's expression was blank and unrevealing; the apprentice could not read any emotion in her gaze. It was as though the news of Seedpaw's pregnancy wasn't a surprise.

"I'll wait for my sisters," Seedpaw murmured somberly, still not casting a glance at Snakepaw.

"Very well," Amberstar said, "Though I have one more question before you leave. I can either announce this news to the clan as a whole or I can keep my mouth shut and let it spread through the clan like wildfire as all clan gossip does. Which do you prefer?"

Seedpaw swallowed hard, trying to drown her sentiments, though the shame she felt at her…condition, was far from going away.

"Just tell the clan and get it over with," she muttered, a tinge of disgust in her voice.

Amberstar nodded before rising to her paws. She brushed past Wolfeye and the two apprentices, stopping to whisper in Seedpaw's ear.

"Wise choice. Do not worry, I will be right beside you."

The tortoiseshell leader whisked out of her den, followed by Wolfeye and the apprentices, and leapt to the branch where she made her announcements, calling the clan together. Seedpaw sat at the base of the tree looking up, her belly churning.

"I have an announcement to make," Amberstar meowed from her perch, "Seedpaw is pregnant and will bare new kits for ShadowClan. As she is an apprentice, yet nearing her warrior ceremony, she will be assessed this week, though she has chosen to wait for her sisters to finish their training as well before she receives her warrior name. That is all the news I have. You are dismissed."

Seedpaw felt the hot eyes of the clan searing into her back. There were whispers passed behind her, though she could not make out what her clanmates were saying. Only one approached her, and it was Whitepaw. Her sister's yellow eyes flashed with malice and repugnance.

"I can't believe you would do this Seedpaw. I thought you were better than that. Mom would be disappointed," Whitepaw hissed in her ear.

When she entered the apprentice's den that night, no one spoke. Every apprentice, besides Snakepaw, cast her a disgusted look.

"I'm sorry," the brown tabby tom mouthed to her.

"It's not your fault," she replied loudly, before flopping graciously into her nest.

A few days later, Seedpaw passed her assessment, though not with flying colors. Her performance was undoubtedly aided by the herbs Wolfeye had given her so she could stay on her paws.

A week later, she became Seedshine, Amberstar honoring her for her fortitude and honesty. Next to her, Redpaw became Redfire, and Whitepaw became Whitestream. As the clan cheered their names, Redfire and Whitestream held their heads high, but Seedshine stared at the ground. Redfire apologized to her after their vigil with Whitestream far out of earshot.

Two more weeks passed and she moved to the nursery, her belly swelling. Though the ground was frozen and prey hard to find, ShadowClan still found reason to celebrate as Snakepaw received his warrior name, Snaketooth, alongside his brother Falconpaw, who became Falconfall. It was then that Wolfeye took on a new apprentice, Mousepaw, and two more queens also announced their pregnancies: Fernberry who was having the kits of Mudtalon, and Whitestream, who had hurried herself to the nursery with Volestripe's kits. It was clear now that her disdain was the product of jealousy.

In the nursery, the queens Dewsong and Lilypool kept up cold postures, the former more-so than the latter. Seedshine heard Dewsong comment to her mate on one of his visits that she "hadn't had her first litter until she was nearly four years old". It was a clear jab at Seedshine, seeing as the newly expecting she-cat was barely over one year.

Her only solace came in Fernberry when the white queen moved into the nursery. Fernberry was the first cat to openly admit that she didn't see an issue with an apprentice becoming pregnant. Her kindness made Seedshine feel the first notion of excitement at her own kits on the way. It was then that the rejection she had felt transformed into pride that she was going to be a mother. She looked forward to these kits. Fernberry and her would often discuss names and thoughts about fur and eye colors. Now Seedshine couldn't wait for her babies to be born; she wanted to meet them so badly.

Then this ray of light was snatched cruelly away from her. Her kittens were dead. All of her mental and physical suffering was for nothing. She didn't want to get out of her nest anymore; StarClan could take her for all she cared, even though she knew her precious ones would not be waiting for her there. They had never truly lived, so they could never truly die and spend their given moons within the ranks of SilverPelt.

Seedshine spent the next two weeks in Wolfeye's den. She barely nibbled on any of the prey brought to her, sometimes she even threw it up. Sleep seldom put a dent in the time she lay there, because when it came, she would wake from it, startled and screaming for her kits. She wasted the hours staring at the wall or silently watching Wolfeye and Mousepaw sort herbs. The medicine cat would point to a plant and his apprentice would respond with the name of the herb and its medicinal uses. Seedshine even picked up a couple of things just from observation.

No one but Snaketooth, Fernberry, and Wolfeye would try to speak to her, but when they did she wouldn't respond. Wolfeye told the others that she was suffering from depression and shock. He gave her parsley to dry up any milk she had produced, and more lavender stems, this time mixed with hornbeam. Though she began to feel better, it was more out of stubbornness that Seedshine would not reciprocate any conversation.

It was the next time that Fernberry waddled in, her kits due at any moment, that Wolfeye finally put his foot down. Mousepaw was out gathering sage and marigold, so the ebony ex-warrior saw his chance to let loose his frustration.

"What are you doing out of the nursery?" he growled at the heavily pregnant queen as she squeezed into the medicine den.

"Visiting Seedshine. What does it look like I'm doing?" she retorted.

Wolfeye took a deep breath before answering, enunciating every word, "No. That is enough."

He stalked over to Seedshine, grabbing her by the scruff and hauling her to her paws. The cream she-cat let out a yowl of dismay, but Wolfeye was persistent. Fernberry watched angrily, but in her round state, was unable to do anything. Finally, Seedshine submitted and sat upright. Wolfeye shot them both a cold look.

"Seedshine, you cannot stay in here any longer. It has been more than two weeks. My supplies of lavender and hornbeam are dwindling, and you've wasted what little prey the clan has brought back to camp for you. Someday, maybe very soon, a cat will fall ill, and I will not have all the herbs I need to care for them; you will most likely catch the sickness. Now since you have practically starved yourself, the chance of your body fighting off an illness is slim to none. You would die, and it would be on my paws. It is my duty as a medicine cat to keep my clanmates healthy, and aside from needing a bit of fresh-kill in your stomach, you are fine. You are not my apprentice, and I cannot have you be in here unless it is a dire emergency," here he paused, sighed deeply, and relaxed his shoulders, "I understand the claws of grief are sharp. It is even more dismal that your loss was your litter of kits. You know that I must always do what is in the best interest of my clanmates, and you know that I care very much for you. I have been here for you throughout this period of sadness. ShadowClan needs you now. ShadowClan needs you to do what is best for them. They need you to be the best warrior you can be. Your life has barely begun, and I will not let you waste it away."

The medicine cat was cut off as Snaketooth pushed his way into the medicine den.

"I heard a yowl. Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly.

Wolfeye nodded, flicking his ears toward Seedshine, seated firmly with her head up and her amber eyes glowing. Snaketooth stepped towards her and placed a gentle lick on her forehead, curling his body around her in a loving embrace.

"I'm so glad you are alright. Are you feeling better?" he inquired, giving her a look of concern. She nodded and leaned into his warmth.

"I love you Seedshine," he whispered into her ear, "I will never leave you, my sweet. Everything will be just fine."

Fernberry smiled behind them, happy for her friend's change of heart.

Wolfeye grunted to get their attention, a slight grin arching across his muzzle, "Seedshine, I have something for you to do besides returning to your normal duties."

"Anything for you, Wolfeye," the cream tabby said—the first time she had spoken in days. Her voice was not dry or cracked, but strong and confident. Wolfeye dipped his head to her.

"Fernberry is very close to having her kits. Will you stay in the nursery with her and come get me and Mousepaw when she goes into labor? She would also probably like to have a friend close at paw when the time arrives," Wolfeye requested. He looked to Fernberry for approval and the white queen nodded, her eyes alight.

"Of course I will," Seedshine accepted, untangling herself from Snaketooth to give Fernberry a gracious nudge.

Wolfeye flicked his tail, "Very well then. Now off with you."

The three warriors headed out of the medicine den, Seedshine trailing behind. She turned to look back at the mismatched eyes of the medicine cat.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Anything for you, Seedshine."

Then she was taking her first steps back onto the crunchy pine needles of the ShadowClan clearing. Outside the air was cool and crisp, the scents of a quickly approaching Newleaf evident on the breeze. Her first destination was the fresh-kill pile. It wasn't particularly full, but then again it was nearly Sunhigh and dawn hunting patrols would be returning soon with more. She grabbed a crow for herself and a robin for Fernberry.

Later that afternoon, Fernberry started having contractions. Seedshine dashed to the medicine den to retrieve Wolfeye. She lay next to the birthing queen as Fernberry pushed through the deliveries of five kittens—two she-cats and three toms. They were all healthy, including their mother, who had the strength to groom and name them afterwards alongside her mate, Mudtalon. The firstborn, a white she-kit, was named Shinekit after Seedshine. The cream queen sniffled happily at the honor her friend had given to her. The other she-kit, her fur being a very dark gray-brown with thick raven-colored stripes, was named Blackkit. Two of the three toms were white with brown splotches; the first, with large brown tabby patches was named Dapplekit, and the second had a brown forehead patch, ears, and tail, and a few small scattered spots, and was named Cloudkit. The final tom-kit was an all-over brown tabby, named Molekit.

Seedshine shook with a tornado of emotions. Her heart still ached for her own kits; no amount of joy would ever fully take that away. Yet she found peace in the five new lives that StarClan had graced to her closest friend. Maybe what Snaketooth had told her in the medicine den was true: everything would be just fine.

Above ShadowClan's pine forests, the stars blinked into sight one by one as nighttime washed over the lake territories. They seemed to whisper a message of warning—the trouble was not over yet.

Fun Fact #1: Using math and the details from the story, it can be approximated that Seedshine was born the day of a new moon. I have a timeline for the story drawn up, in which Day 20 is the full moon/gathering, the (waxing) half-moon would then probably be Day 14, and Seedshine gives birth on Day 2. Knowing that, then Day 9 in the story was probably the new moon, and Day 2 the (waning) half-moon. If Seedshine was 9.5 moons old when she got pregnant (which is mentioned in the chapter), then she was 11.5 moons old when she gave birth on Day 2, a waning half-moon. Following Warriors logic that a moon = a month, then that means the day she conceived, which isn't on the timeline, was probably also a waning half-moon. Adding 1 half-moon to Seedshine's age on Day 2 (11.5 moons), would make her a full year old. From the numbers above, we know that Day 9 is a half-moon later, and also the new moon, so Seedshine must have been born on a new moon. Ok, probably not, but a neat fun fact.

Fun Fact #2: If the fact before tells us that the day Seedshine gave birth was the half-moon, and the half-moon is the day the Medicine Cats share tongues with StarClan, then why was Wolfeye there? Because, looking at the beginning of the chapter, we know that Seedshine gave birth in the "middle of the night" so probably sometime around Moonhigh, or midnight, maybe even later than that. Wolfeye was already back from the Moonpool when she went into labor.

Fun Fact #3: Biologically speaking, kits in the nursery could get pregnant (at 4 months old), so an apprentice getting pregnant would actually probably have happened quite frequently in the Clans, though it is never mentioned. It seemed like one of those things that would be kind of taboo to the warrior cats so I really wanted to write about it.

Fun Fact #4: In this story, an apprentice's training lasts about 4-6 moons depending on the clan, the apprentice's ability, and the overall state of the clans as a whole.