A/N: Hey guys! Back once again. (Thank goodness for normal-length chapters. I knew there had to be at least one or two in here.)
Thanks so much for reading and your comments last chapter! Hope you enjoy, and see you at the end!
Chapter 4: Visions
I went back to school. It was the responsible thing to do, the right thing to do to stay inconspicuous after my display today. It was the least I could do—even though the entire time I was burning to wander off and find him again.
By the end of the day, almost everyone was back in school, except of course Taylor and Beau, though they were both in the thoughts of many. Now that it seemed clear they were both going to be okay, there was a buzz of excitement surrounding the unusual events. Taylor was a fairly popular girl, and there was no question that, once she got back, everyone would want to hear her tell the story. No one seemed to remember her careless driving was the cause of all the trouble, and she was already established as a martyr. She would be in the spotlight for awhile, a place she didn't particularly mind.
Beau, similarly, had been elevated to the status of a hero—perhaps because I hadn't been carried off the scene on a stretcher, few seemed to recollect my involvement at all, which suited me just fine—and he would likely be ambushed when he came back tomorrow and begged to relive the story again and again. Unlike Taylor, he wouldn't enjoy one minute of it. The thought made me smile.
Except, I wouldn't be here to see that, because I was leaving tonight. Wasn't I?
But maybe it would be too suspicious for me to leave that quickly. Maybe I should wait a few days... Sow some seeds to lead up to my departure...
I knew I was doing exactly what I had been afraid I would do from the beginning. Putting it off with convenient excuses. Who knew how long I would stretch a few more days? How many more excuses I would find.
The day crept by with impossible slowness, and I began to wonder what was the matter with me. I felt lethargic and restless at the same time, and it was hard to concentrate. My thoughts kept returning to him, our last conversation. I had the most ridiculous impulse to go find him, to be where he was, or at least where I was close enough I could see his face in the minds of others.
Of course, I knew where he was. He was at home, where he lived with his father the police chief, as he should be. What was I going to do—go down and stake out his house?
I wondered again what on earth was the matter with me. Was this turning into some kind of obsession? Did I get some kind of high off torturing myself, putting myself so close to such irresistible blood when I had no intention of ever tasting any? Was I so set on cracking the code, unraveling the puzzle, that I wouldn't do the right thing and just leave? I needed to get a grip, and start acting like I should.
But even though I'd come to school, I was still neglecting part of my responsibility. For about the most foolish reasons imaginable.
As I came into each of my classes, the teachers asked me how I was given the accident, and they asked about Taylor and Beau. It was the perfect opportunity—if I was going to spread the knowledge of his head injury, and begin laying the groundwork for undermining any credibility he might have for any wild story he might tell, now was the time to do it. "Yes, I think Taylor is fine... just some superficial scrapes from the windshield glass. Beau might have gotten a concussion—he was pretty out of it there at first, babbling and acting like he might be seeing things. When he woke up he seemed a little confused about what happened..."
That was all it would have taken.
However, when the teachers spoke to me, I only averted my eyes and gave short, uninformative answers until they gave up.
I knew what I should do, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He'd said he wasn't going to tell anyone. To go behind his back now and tell people he'd hit his head and was having hallucinations felt just plain low. It was bad enough I'd had to lie to him about giving him an explanation, without piling on anything else.
Eleanor gave me a look as she took note of my lackluster responses to Mr. Goff as he asked me a few questions in Spanish. As Mr. Goff turned and returned to his desk to begin class, hardly satisfied with my lacking information, she informed me, Roy is on the warpath. Watch out.
I rolled my eyes. Having Royal angry with me over something was nothing new.
She continued, And Jessamine, too. I don't think she's as ticked, but she's already made up her mind to do something about all this, and she's not going to see any objections.
I saw in Eleanor's mind what she meant. What Jessamine intended to do.
Horror shot through me, up my neck and down to the tips of my fingers. Then the horror turned suddenly to a blaze of white-hot fury. The room swam, I saw nothing but red—and Jessamine's face, which I suddenly wanted to break.
I would have leaped to my feet and left the room right then, without so much as an acknowledgment to Mr. Goff, had not Eleanor's hand abruptly come down on my shoulder, gripping it hard, holding me in place.
Get a grip, she ordered. Seriously, Edythe.
Of all of us, Eleanor was by far the strongest—even stronger than Royal, in spite of his impressive looks—and I didn't have a hope of out-muscling her.
She held me fast, gripping my shoulder in place rather than pushing down, where she probably would have broken the chair beneath me.
Calm down, she said.
I breathed deeply. But my fists were still clenched beneath my desk, so hard they could have crumpled tempered steel, and the tint of red hadn't fallen from my vision.
She isn't going to do anything until we've all had a chance to talk. Relax.
I didn't relax, but I gradually settled back down, and stopped straining against the iron grip of her hand.
You might think about not making yourself a spectacle at the moment, she thought. At least more than you already have.
She cautiously withdrew her hand, still eying me warily. I drew a deep breath.
I took a quick mental scan of the room, looking for anyone who might have seen our silent confrontation. A few people sitting behind Eleanor had noticed something, but from the outside it didn't look intense enough to warrant anything but a shrug of the shoulders. It was just yet another reminder of what freaks the Cullens were.
What's the matter with you, girl? she asked. Usually you're the responsible one.
She wasn't expecting an answer and I didn't give one. Instead she thought, tone sympathetic, You know, this is what happens when you try to fight nature.
Eleanor was the most easygoing of anyone in our family, and she'd already forgiven me for the risk I'd taken this morning. I should have been more grateful for that, but I didn't look at her. I knew she was leaning toward Jessamine's side—that she thought Jessamine's solution made the most sense.
The fury burned, just under my skin, barely in check. And I couldn't help but think, if it came to a fight between us, I would win. Eleanor had never beaten me in a bout of wrestling, in spite of her superior strength. She always said it was because I cheated—she was right. I cheated shamelessly, remorselessly. But accusing me of it did nothing to change the fact I never lost.
Some of my anger ebbed a little as I wondered if that was where this was really headed—a fight. Was I really prepared to fight my family over this? A human I barely knew?
I already knew the answer—I had already put them in danger to save him once. Unless I regretted that decision now—if I wished I'd held back and left well enough alone—my decision was already made. Besides, when I juxtaposed his soft, fragile human body next to my powerful, dangerous brothers and sisters, killing machines by nature—the choice of the right thing to do seemed obvious.
However, despite my mind-reading gift, which would give me an edge, I knew I couldn't win against the three of them—Jessamine, Royal, and Eleanor—alone. I would need allies. But who would side with me?
Carine, certainly. Although I knew she wouldn't physically fight anyone, she would be wholly against Jessamine's plan. The others listened to Carine, so her word alone might be enough to stop them.
Earnest—no, he would take no sides. He would be for any plan that kept our family intact. He would praise me for my kindness, but then he might try to convince me to think more about myself... what was best for me... Still, like Carine, he would not physically interfere, one way or another.
What Archie would do was a mystery. It would probably depend on what he foresaw happening—if he saw us ripping each other to shreds, he would probably take steps to prevent that. Maybe he would see it would be easier to subdue me than to fight three of the others, plus it would put a more final end to the problem. Would Archie betray me that way? If he saw it was the best alternative...
I felt my hands clench again into fists beneath the desk. There was a real possibility I was going to be totally alone. What could I do? I couldn't fight all of them on my own.
I didn't care. I'd do whatever I had to do.
What about running, then? I could grab him and take him somewhere safe. So long as I wouldn't be fighting Jessamine, Archie probably wouldn't interfere with that.
However, that course of action was fraught with potential hazards. Even if I knocked him out or put a sack over his head so he wouldn't know what was happening, I knew I couldn't stand being close to him for very long. I could try to deliver him back to his mother, perhaps, but it would be dangerous—I wasn't Carine, I couldn't handle humans with confidence and ease, not without risk of breaking them. Even if I didn't end up giving into my instincts, I could easily kill him myself by accident.
The thought made me feel cold, colder than I could ever remember feeling. And I knew I couldn't bear it.
When school let out, Eleanor and I were quiet as we headed to my car. She was worried. She, too, knew whose side she would have to choose if it came to a fight between Royal and me.
The others were already in the car, waiting for us. They were absolutely silent as I pulled out of the space and started off down the road.
The voices were silent, but the thoughts were unusually loud.
Royal was directing a constant stream of foul words in my direction, cursing me with every colorful expression he had accumulated over the years. No one had ever accused him of being a gentleman.
His mental voice was the loudest, but I could hear the others, too.
Jessamine was decided—no matter what the outcome of this meeting, she would take action.
Archie's thoughts were on Jessamine, worried about her. He was flipping through visions of her future. However, no matter which way she came at her target, Archie always saw me there, blocking her. I couldn't help but notice neither Royal nor Eleanor were there—apparently Jessamine intended to work alone. Maybe I would have a chance after all.
Jessamine was by far the best, most experienced fighter in our coven. The only reason I generally held my own in our mock fights was that I could always see how she planned to move next. However, we had never fought seriously before. If Jessamine was serious, how would that change the outcome? Could I still defeat her...?
My hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel, and I felt suddenly sick—sick at the thought of actually trying to hurt my own sister, the way I would an enemy. However, if she forced my hand, I wouldn't back down. My course was set.
I concentrated on Archie, memorizing all the possibilities of her avenues of attack. As I did so, the visions shifted, moving further and further from the Swan house as I cut her off earlier.
Archie knew what I was doing. Cut it out, Edy. It's not going to turn out like that.
But he couldn't stop me from seeing what he saw, and I just kept watching.
He turned his attention to scanning farther ahead, into the misty, unsure realm of distant possibilities. Everything turned shadowy and vague.
The charged, heavy silence continued all the way home. As I parked in the garage, I saw Carine's Mercedes there, and I was glad—I knew exactly how this silence was going to end, and it was better that Carine should be here when it did. When the mortar fell, someone had to be the calm voice of reason.
We filed silently into the dining room. Though the dining room was never used for its intended purpose, it had become our unofficial conference room.
Carine was already there, waiting for us, and she took up her usual seat at the long mahogany table, at the head on the eastern side. Earnest took up his place beside her, and he reached over and took her hand, linking fingers on top of the table. Earnest's compassionate gold eyes were on me, full of the deepest concern.
Stay with us, he thought. It was his only thought.
I couldn't meet his eyes—he had always loved me more than I deserved, and there was nothing I could say to him, not when I was about to break up our family.
Wordlessly, I went to sit down at Carine's other side. Earnest reached around her to briefly place his free hand reassuringly on my shoulder. He didn't yet know what was about to start, but he could feel our tension.
Carine, on the other hand, already had a strong inclination of what was coming. She sat rigid in her seat, her shoulders tense, her brow clouded.
As everyone took up their positions, it was already clear who was on what side.
Royal took up the seat directly opposite Carine, at the other end of the long table. His eyes never moved from me, his face set in a fierce glare.
Eleanor took up a seat beside him, relaxed, but for a slight purse of her lips.
Jessamine hesitated, then silently went to stand against the wall just behind Royal. Taking a definite side, and yet remaining removed from it all. Her resolve was set.
Archie was the last. He wandered in, his eyes glazed over as he stared ahead into the future, still too vague and indistinct to make any sense of. Without seeming to pay attention to what he was doing, he flopped down in the chair next to Earnest. He rubbed his forehead, eyes still far away. Jessamine twitched uneasily, seeing Archie across the divide, but she held her place.
The room was silent for a long moment, and I realized, as the cause of all this, it was up to me to speak first. I took a deep breath, then looked up at the faces across the table.
"I owe you all an apology," I said softly. "I know what I did put you all at risk, and all I can say is I'm sorry for that, and I take full responsibility for my actions."
Royal glared at me, mouth pressed in a thin line. "So you're going to fix it?" he challenged.
I had to force myself to keep my expression calm, and my voice even. "I will take the steps necessary to keep this from getting out of control... Only I will not hurt anyone, or allow anyone to be hurt. I will leave immediately, if that will help."
"No," Earnest murmured, his eyes clouding.
I answered softly without looking at him. "It would just be a few years."
Eleanor shook her head. "That wouldn't help anything. We need you, girl, now more than ever—we need to know what people are thinking."
I shook my head in return. "You have Archie," I argued. "He'll see anything you need to, if you're ever in any danger."
Carine sighed slightly. "No, I think Eleanor is right, Edythe," she said softly. "If you leave, he will simply be that much more likely to talk, and that will be difficult for us to determine without you... Either we must all leave together, or none at all."
"He won't say anything," I insisted. "I'm sure of that." I turned to Archie. "Right?"
Archie sighed, still rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. "I can't see that right now. I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." His eyes drifted to Royal and Jessamine. Of course he couldn't see, not when they were so decided on what they were going to do.
Royal had been waiting to see how this conversation would play out, but now he seemed done being quiet. He sat up straight in his chair, thrusting back his powerful shoulders, looking suddenly very much like a king gazing out from his throne, powerful, intimidating. Without warning, he slammed a palm against the tabletop with a loud bang.
"We can't allow this human the chance to say anything," he said harshly. "It's that simple. Even if we did make up our minds to go now, we can't afford to leave lingering stories behind us." He looked around the table, from one face to another, and finally his gaze rested on Carine. He continued in a low voice, "We live so differently from the rest of our kind—there are those who would relish any excuse to point fingers... To argue our chosen way of life is too dangerous to be allowed... We have to be more careful than anyone else."
"We've left rumors behind us before," I said evenly. "Why is this time any different?"
"We've never left an eye witness," Royal said coldly. "A credible eye witness, who's seen more than anyone else. Enough he could raise a stir the moment he believed we were safely away. Enough that the Volturi might come to investigate—and who will they find as the cause?"
Jessamine was nodding slowly her agreement.
Carine's face was deeply troubled. Royal's gaze shifted to her, and he continued.
"It would be simple. The human hit his head today—I think you've worked with enough cases to know such an injury can often turn out to be more serious than it looked. He would simply go to sleep and never wake up."
Royal's gaze returned to me. His eyes were hard, mouth set. "Normally I would say this job ought to be left to the one who caused the mess. But in this case, I can volunteer. I have the necessary control, and I would leave no evidence behind."
Royal spoke steadily, calmly, and at the cool, utterly unconcerned look on his face, I felt my own calm demeanor crack. Fury shot through me, white-hot, and I heard myself say with all the spite and malice I could muster, "Right, I suppose that sort of noble self-sacrifice would suit you, Royal. As we all know what a proficient assassin you are."
His eyes blazed, but his face remained set, refusing to react. But I knew I'd struck a nerve.
"Edythe," Carine said softly, a gentle reprimand. Then she turned her eyes to Royal. "Those you killed before had wronged you terribly. But this boy—he is an innocent."
"Which is regrettable," Royal replied, voice cold. "But he's a danger, a threat to us. And if it's between us and him, there's no choice. Only necessary action."
Carine was silent for a long moment, her brow creased, troubled. She gazed back at him, and didn't look away.
At last she answered softly, "There is always a choice." Her eyes moved slowly around the table, going from one face to the next. Her eyes were kind and understanding, yet firm, with absolute conviction.
"We all know there have been accidents," she said quietly. "Lapses in control. I'm afraid that risk is an unavoidable part of what we are. However, to murder a blameless child in cold blood... that is not something I can condone, no matter what the reason. I know your intentions may only be to protect us, Royal, but to protect ourselves at such a cost... it would make us into something unworthy of protection."
Royal's scowl was ferocious. In a low, disbelieving voice, he said, "You'd choose the life of one human boy over our family?"
Carine answered softly, gently. "If, to preserve ourselves, requires that we lose ourselves in the process, become monsters—then yes. I would."
Royal let out a growl of a sigh and he stared down at the table, mouth still pressed in a line.
"The question," Carine said softly, "is whether or not the best course of action is to move on."
Royal growled. He always hated having to move, and starting off as a sophomore yet again. And he had been satisfied when we had chosen Forks—there were so many cloudy days we could almost act like normal humans, relatively speaking.
Carine read the sentiment and she added, "I think we don't have to decide just yet. Edythe seems certain the boy will stay quiet. Moving may not be necessary."
Royal snorted. His arms were folded, and his annoyance at having his recommendation so firmly put down was obvious. Occasionally his eyes shifted back to glare at me. However, he wouldn't go against Carine.
Jessamine, however, still standing against the back wall, her arms folded, was unmoved. Images from her former life were flickering in her mind—the extreme violence and danger of constant war, along with the consequences of flouting the rules. She had lived for too many years in a place where survival came before all else, and required the utmost ruthlessness and brutality, to close her eyes to the obvious, most intelligent course of action.
"Jessamine," I said quietly.
Her eyes shifted from Carine to me. Her face held no emotion.
"I agree with Carine," I said.
Jessamine stared straight back at me. "This is not a question of morals," she answered. "The boy would have died today if not for your interference. He owes you his life—in a real way, you now hold the right to decide his fate. If you did choose to end his life now, you would be doing no more than was already meant to happen. However, I understand taking such action would be disturbing, troubling to you... You may leave me to take care of it."
I gazed straight into her eyes. I felt strangely calm. Decided.
"Then I suppose we will finally find out," I murmured. "Which one of us would win in a real fight."
Jessamine's mouth opened, but she said nothing, unable to mask her surprise. She'd known that, like Carine, I would be opposed to the plan. But this had never occurred to her—that I would fight to stop her.
At last, she shook her head once. "You don't comprehend the danger we would be in. The Volturi are not merciful when they find their laws are broken. When it comes to cleaning up a mess, they are thorough, and so the boy—and anyone he has told—would die anyway. You must see how easy it is for situations like these to spiral out of control. The wisest course of action is to contain this while it is still containable."
In her thoughts, she added, I won't allow Archie to live under threat.
I stared back at Jessamine. "You're right," I said at last, my voice still composed. "I might have seen your memories, Jess—but I haven't lived through what you've lived through. I haven't seen the Volturi act for myself." I added also, replying to the thoughts she hadn't quite fully formed into words, "And you're also right, I've never felt about anyone the way you do Archie—I won't dispute that." I paused. "But it doesn't change the fact that if you plan to harm Beau Swan, then you will have to go through me."
Silence. We gazed at each other, not glaring, but evaluating, calculating. Jessamine felt the mood around me, trying to determine how serious I was.
"Jess," Archie said casually, cutting into our thoughts.
Jessamine stared at me for a moment longer, then slowly turned to Archie.
"As entertaining as all this is, I've got a favor to ask."
My attention had shifted now automatically from Jessamine's mind to Archie's—and what I saw made my mouth fall open.
"That—" I began, shocked. "You can't be—"
"Hey," he said. "I don't make this stuff up, I just see it." His eyes turned back to Jessamine. "Thanks for the thought, Jess, really, but I'd appreciate if you backed down on this one. First, because we all know Edy doesn't fight fair and if it comes to a fight—which it will, if you push her—it'll get real ugly, real fast. Second, because it so happens that Beau, my man, is my best bud." He flashed a dazzling smile and crossed two fingers together. "We're like this, Beau and me—or at least, we will be."
I could only stare at the image in his head with disbelief. Archie, with a cold arm draped casually around his warm, fragile neck. Archie was grinning broadly, and Beau's smile was sheepish, embarrassed, but pleased. Archie's visions usually had a degree of certainty or uncertainty, depending on the strength of the decisions involved. This vision was rock solid—only the timing was uncertain.
Jessamine stared at him, her eyes wide with shock. "But..." she began slowly, uncertainly.
"Best friends," Archie said, grinning. "It's going to be great—if someone doesn't murder him before that." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Really hoping that doesn't happen."
For the first time, Archie's visions for possibilities of the immediate future flickered as Jessamine's resolve wavered, then a new one opened up.
"Ah," he sighed. "There it is, finally. No, Beau's not going to say anything, that's certain."
It was so strange—hearing him saying his name with such familiarity, as if they already knew each other, already great friends. Even I couldn't say his name like that.
"I don't understand," I said, shaking my head. "How could this...? How could you and he...?"
Archie shrugged. "I told you things were changing. Something major is coming..."
He paused, and very suddenly all his attention was riveted on Jessamine's future. However, Jessamine was still trying to process in light of this new unexpected information, and she was making no decisions.
I knew what Archie was doing. He was trying to shut me out. Keep me from seeing something he didn't want me to see.
"What is it?" I demanded, urgent, trying to imagine what could be so bad. "Show me."
He shook his head, face a mask of concentration as he focused determinedly on Jessamine's future. The others watched the partial mental conversation with a mixture of apprehension and, in Eleanor's case, exasperation.
"Is it him?" I insisted. "Is it about—Beau Swan?"
Archie's focus was strong, but at the mention of the name, he slipped. A single image appeared in his mind.
I froze. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe—only stare at him in open horror. I wasn't aware I'd gotten to my feet until I heard the clatter of my chair hitting the linoleum floor behind me. I was shaking.
"Oh no," I whispered. "Oh, please."
"It's solidifying," Archie said quietly. "Every minute, it's more decided. There's only two ways left for him now. It's one... or the other."
I felt weak, and I had to brace myself against the table. "Oh no," I murmured again. "Please."
"Don't mind us," Eleanor muttered. "We'll just keep sitting here, having no clue what you guys are going on about."
I shook my head, trying to get my bearings.
"I... I have to leave," I said unsteadily. "I have to leave right now."
Eleanor groaned loudly. "We just had this conversation two minutes ago. That's the best way to start the kid talking, and we won't know if he is talking unless you're here to tell us. You've got to stay and deal with this."
"You aren't going to leave," Archie said. "Even if that would somehow help, you don't have the will. Really think about it—think about leaving and you'll see what I mean."
I did see. The thought was almost unendurable—nowhere to go, nothing to do... nothing but emptiness. Everything that held any interest for me was here. But there was no other choice. Not if, in his future, my presence would give him only two options—two absolutely sick, horrifying options.
Archie pushed harder. Besides, you can't be sure of Jess. If you leave, if she thinks he's a danger to us—
I shook my head. "I don't see that." Jessamine's resolve had weakened, and she was almost completely committed to not acting. She would never do anything to hurt Archie.
Maybe he's not in any danger now, Archie insisted. But what about four, five months down the road? Are you just going to leave him? Anything could happen. If you're not going to make sure he stays okay, who will?
I was still trembling slightly. The horror and revulsion were creeping through me like a poison. "Why?" I whispered. "Why are you doing this to me?" I felt sick. Trapped. There was supposed to be a choice, wasn't there? A way to do the right thing? But all I could see was wrong.
He's going to be my friend, Archie thought. Already is, in my mind. I may not need him like you do, but friends are friends.
"Need him?" I whispered, incredulous. "Need him?"
Archie sighed and shook his head. Come on, Edy. I can't believe you don't see it. Where you're headed... no, where you already are. You can't stop it now. Look.
The images flooded his mind, the future—I shook my head rapidly, trying to shut them out. "No," I gasped. "No, it's not going to happen that way. I have a choice—I'll change it."
"You can try," he said doubtfully.
"Can we make a new rule?" Eleanor cut in. "Conversations either happen all the way out loud, or not at all."
"I don't think it's that hard to follow," Royal said. He was looking at me, his lip curled with disgust. "Archie sees her falling in love with that human boy." He shook his head with contempt. "I wish I could say I'm surprised, but you always did seem to look for ways to make yourself more strange than you already are."
I didn't answer. His voice felt far away—my head felt like it was underwater. I couldn't think.
Eleanor blinked, then laughed out loud. "Oh, is that what's been going on? Wow, that is hilarious. I wondered why my responsible older sister was suddenly acting like an asylum escapee. Wow, sorry girl, that's rough."
"Fall for a human?" Earnest repeated in a murmur, shocked. "For that boy she saved today... fall in love with him?"
"What exactly is it that you see, Archie?" Jessamine asked quietly.
Archie turned toward her.
"It depends," he said, shrugging. "This will go one of two ways. Either Edy won't be strong enough to resist his blood, and she'll kill him herself—or she will be strong enough, and eventually, someday... he'll be one of us."
Silence. No one spoke.
I was slowly gaining back my strength, and I glared at him. "That's not going to happen. Either one."
Archie ignored me. "It's going to be close. The chances of either one happening are about dead even. It'll take every ounce of restraint, of control—even a moment's lapse could be fatal for him. She might be strong enough, just strong enough, to do it. But she won't be able to stay away from him—that's already a lost cause."
I wanted to argue. I had a choice—I had to believe that, or how could I exist in this world? However, I couldn't seem to speak.
No one said anything, and the silence lengthened. They all stared at me, and I could see my stunned, horrified face from five different viewpoints, all except for Archie, who continued to look ahead into the future, thoughtful.
Finally, Carine sighed and sat forward a little. "Well, this certainly complicates things. However, it still has no bearing on our immediate plans. We will remain here and watch. Obviously, no one will harm the boy."
"I can agree to that," Jessamine said in a low voice. "If Archie sees only two ways, then..."
"No," I whispered, my voice barely audible, but everyone heard it. "No."
I pressed a shaking hand to my head. I couldn't take it anymore—their thoughts and feelings swirling like a storm inside my mind. Royal's contempt, Eleanor's amusement, Archie's confidence, Jessamine's confidence in that confidence, Earnest's suddenly buoyant, radiating pleasure on my behalf... Even Carine's never ending compassion.
I turned and strode from the room without another word.
I sprinted over the grass, as swift and silent as a ghost. In seconds I had cleared the river and the dark forest swallowed me. The rain had begun to fall again, and it came down in a heavy torrent, drenching my hair and soaking my clothes clear through to the skin. A human would have found it uncomfortable, cold—but I didn't mind. I welcomed the heavy sheet falling all around me, insulating me from the rest of the world, allowing me, for once, the luxury of being alone inside my head.
I didn't stop. I kept running, and running, thinking of nothing except the forest racing past me, and the feel of the rain on my skin, the fresh smell of plants and pure mountain air.
I didn't stop until I saw the lights—Seattle, in the far distance. I slowed to a halt just before I reached the borders of human civilization, before their voices could reach me.
There was nowhere to run anymore, and I leaned against a tree as the emotions, the knowledge of the terrible thing I had done, threatened to swallow me.
The images once again flashed through my mind. First, the one of him and Archie—friends. I wondered how much he knew in that moment, the way he fearlessly had an arm around Archie's shoulder, unafraid.
Then the image shifted, morphing into Archie's other vision. No longer was the boy simply Beau Swan, the slightly uncoordinated son of the police chief, his wide eyes a deep sky blue. His face wasn't red with annoyance or embarrassment. Instead, his skin was white as alabaster and hard as marble, and he looked out from the vision with irises a shocking crimson. His old way of life gone, at an end—as if he had died. The questions raged inside me, questions Archie's visions could not answer—how had it happened? How did he feel, to know his life had been stolen from him? Had he had any choice?
However, the image in my head shifted once again, to the last and final vision, and the one most horrifying of all—
My own eyes, deep crimson with human blood. His pale, broken form in my arms, drained of all life. The vision was so concrete, so clear—every bit as clear as the other.
I tried not to think it, to push it from my mind—but still it lingered, rock solid, and some part of me I did not want to acknowledge was in ecstasy at the thought, of the taste of the exquisite blood in my mouth, giving in at last to the experience a sick, monstrous part of me craved...
I buried my face in my hands, and a dry sob ripped itself from my throat. I had destroyed everything, mutilated his future—all the possibilities in his life, and I had narrowed them down to two, two ghastly choices that were not choices at all.
Somehow, without asking for it, I now held his fate in my hands. What had he ever done to deserve this? All he had done was come to Forks, simply because he wanted his mother to be happy.
I lifted my face from my hands, and I gazed out into the sheeting rain, and the lights of the city in the distance. I breathed deeply in and out, and after a moment, I felt my despair turn to resolution.
Just because Archie said it didn't mean I had to abide by his visions. What he saw was based on our decisions, our choices. Just because a choice was hard, unlikely, didn't mean it was impossible. Our family was living proof of that. Wasn't that what Carine taught me? That we were capable of making choices, of being what we chose to be?
I solidified my resolve, setting my course. Changing the future would take control, discipline, sacrifice. But I was ready for it now. I had a choice, and no one was going to take it away from me.
A/N: When I initially read the Midnight Sun rough draft for the first time, I didn't remember a lot of the details Edward had already mentioned in Twilight, as far as all the events leading up to what eventually happens from his side. So the family meeting scene took me by surprise.
It may be one of my favorite scenes from Midnight Sun—much as I love to see the Cullens all working together as one team, I love seeing the conflict between them, which shows they're each people of their own with separate ways of seeing the world. And even though from Bella's perspective they might all seem like heroes of the vampire world, that's really not always necessarily the case.
Thanks so much for reading, and your comments last chapter! If you have a moment, let me know what you thought, and see you next time!
Posted 7/9/18