Thomas' mind drifted away from him as he was winding the clock in the great hall, a task that had seemed as natural as breathing to him since he was a boy. Apart from grief, this was the only thing his father had ever bestowed upon him, and though he rarely thought of him in good terms, this was a gift that he was grateful for. He was vaguely aware of someone walking past him, Anna, no doubt he thought; Lady Edith was unlikely to rise so early after her heartbreak and there had been no call for him or O'Brian that morning. It was very unlike Lord and Lady Grantham to have such a slow start but given the time he had been dismissed by Carson the previous night, he could only assume that they were nursing quite the hangover.
His thoughts were immediately interrupted as a sharp squeal slashed through the air, disrupting the silence of the house, and Thomas tore himself away from the clock to find Anna in an amusing state of shock on the staircase. He approached her slowly, hoping to not look too eager regarding what would no doubt be the latest bit of drama.
"Is everything alright, Anna?" he asked.
"Yes. Yes, everything is fine, I just…"
"You just what?"
"Well…I saw something lying on the ground, I picked it up and…"
He noticed that her hands were behind her back, suspiciously rigid in place.
"What are you holding?"
"I found…I found these"
From her back, Anna produced a pair a lady's undergarments. She held them out sheepishly, unsure as to whether she should feel scandalised for seeing them, embarrassed for showing them, or amused for finding herself in such a situation. Whatever Thomas had been expecting from Anna, it had not been that, and he tried to conceal the way his eyebrows rose or the way his throat when dry from the surprise of it all. He swallowed hard.
"Oh, I see" was all he managed to say.
"Anna, Thomas, are you both okay? I thought I heard a shout?" came the concerned voice of Mrs Hughes.
"Anna has found quite the souvenir on the staircase, Mrs Hughes" Thomas told her eagerly and Anna cursed herself for telling him in the first place.
"So, I can see" replied the housekeeper – her eyes full of shock and transfixed on the white fabric in Anna's hand, "and you say these were found on the staircase?"
"Yes, Mrs Hughes, just over there in the corner" Anna told her.
"I see. Well, I can't imagine they were dropped by any of the staff, so whoever has lost them must be missing them very much. Take them down to go with the laundry, and hopefully they get returned to the proper place" Mrs Hughes told them – her cheeks now a brilliant shade of read and her eyes unable to meet those of her subordinates.
"How exactly might a member of the family lose something like this, Mrs Hughes?" Thomas asked with mischievous intention.
"Enough of the cheek, Thomas. I suggest you give up that sort of talk and continue winding the clocks, unless you want Mr Carson to wind your neck in" she snipped before returning to her duties.
Thomas straightened his jacket in frustration over his damaged ego and fully intended to return to the clocks…but not before he'd given the rests of the staff something to chew on.
"Anna, I thought I heard a scream a moment ago, is everything alright?" Mary asked as Anna was helping her with the finishing touches to her hair.
"Hmm? Yes, everything is fine, Milady"
Mary gave her a pointed look through the mirror.
"Anna, I like to think of you and I as friends, and unfortunately for you, as your friend, I am usually aware of when you aren't quite being truthful"
Anna stared at her blankly.
"It's really nothing of interest, Milady"
"I can be the judge of that" she said in a measured tone, "so, what happened?"
Anna steeled herself for a moment in an attempt to both underplay the situation and to make sure she didn't burst into a fit of laughter. She took a deep breath and keep her expression completely stoic.
"You see, Milady, when I was on my way here just a moment ago, I found a rather intimate item of clothing on the staircase. I didn't realise what it was until I had picked it up, so it just took me by surprise, that is all?"
"A scream for an item of clothing…how intimate was it?"
"Well, it was a pair of lady's undergarments, Milady"
"What? Are you serious?"
"Quite serious"
Mary looked at her maid as if she were a deer in headlights.
"Anna, they weren't mine, were they?"
"I don't think so, Milady; they didn't look like yours, and I didn't recognise them. Besides they looked…" Anna trailed off, unsure if she could finish the sentences and all its implications.
"They looked like what?"
"They looked as though they had been used"
"Used undergarments on the staircase? You mean you think someone dropped their used clothing on the stairs?"
"Or they were taken off on the stairs" Anna said quietly, and Mary suddenly looked at her with great shock.
"Oh, golly…" she breathed, surely no one in the house would get up to that sort of thing, expect maybe…. "Thank you for letting me know, Anna. I'm sure it's all just a misunderstanding"
Anna stayed quiet after that, knowing well enough that Lady Mary did not wish to continue the discussion, however, much like the rest of the household, Anna was well aware that most of the family had been up until the earlier hours of the morning after a night of good wine. She also knew that Lord and Lady Grantham had been the last to retire that night.
"Hey, Thomas, Thomas!" Alfred called as the acting valet made his way through the servant's hall, "is it true what they're saying about this morning, that a pair of underwear was found on the staircase?"
"It is" Thomas smirked, "I saw them myself"
"And do you really think they were used?"
"Well, they weren't neat and folded like the laundry usually is, in fact they were rather creased. If you ask me, it seemed as if someone had been undressing in the great hall, perhaps in a hurry to get to bed" he mused mischievously.
"Who do you think it was?" Alfred asked – thoroughly energised by the scandal.
"Well, our only prime suspects are Lady Mary or Lady Grantham – both of whom were up drinking until the early hours of the morning"
"I bet it was Lady Mary"
"What makes you so confident?" Thomas asked – hoping the young footman somehow knew something.
"Think about it, she's young, she's newly married, and we've all seen the inappropriate looks she and Mr Crawley give each other"
"Hmmm, you might have a point there" Thomas mused.
"I'd bet a year's wages it was Lady Mary"
"You'd bet a year's wages that what was Lady Mary, Alfred?" came the booming voice of the butler.
"Oh, damn" Alfred mumbled.
"May I remind you that while I am in charge of Downton, the staff will speak respectfully of the family and will not engage in mindless gossip, especially when there is work to be done"
"Sorry, Mister Carson" said Alfred.
"I should hope so too. Now both of you get along before I report you both to his lordship"
The two men soon scurried away, although Thomas made sure to do so with an angered look in his eye, but Carson took no notice.
"What was all that about?" asked Mrs Hughes as she rounded the corner.
"Just mindless gossip about that whole ridiculous business this morning"
"I see"
The pair stood in an awkward silence for a moment, both itching to discuss the topic, but both far too held back by propriety to dare to bring it up.
"Can I speak to you privately, Mr Carson…about last night?"
"Of course" he said somewhat uncomfortably, "come into my room"
They walked in silence again – neither of them daring to say another word until the door was shut behind them.
"Mr Carson, what exactly happened last night? I know the four of them had a bit of a jolly night with his lordship's new wine, but for Anna to find a pair of underwear on the stairs like that…and Lady Grantham hasn't even rung for O'Brian yet"
"She hasn't?"
"No. The only reason why she hasn't gone up there with breakfast is because she knows about their late night and doesn't want to disturb them if they're…" she hesitated for just a moment, "…unwell"
Carson grimaced. Unwell was one issue, but it seemed that undressed may be another.
"I don't have a lot to say, really. As you said, they were up late drinking the new wine, although Lady Mary and Mr Crawley did retire for the night a little earlier than Lord and Lady Grantham"
"They did?"
"Yes. It was just after that that his lordship said Thomas and O'Brian could be dismissed, along with myself"
"You don't suppose they belong to Lady Mary, do you?"
Carson stood up a little straighter and puffed out his chest protectively.
"Why on earth would I think that?"
"Don't be coy, Mr Carson. I don't mean this disrespectfully to Lady Mary, but I think we can all guess what goes on in the private thoughts of a young married couple, especially one that has been through as many trials as they have"
"Should you be thinking about such things?" Carson questioned.
"I don't make a habit of it, but we all have the odd intrusive thought here and there"
"No, I don't think it was Lady Mary" he answered, and he could hardly believe he was even having this conversation, "I checked the staircase and the mezzanine when I did my final inspection and there were no…clothing items to be found"
"I guess that only leaves one culprit"
"You mean the lord and lady of this house have been engaging in that sort of behaviour in the great hall? It's ridiculous – it's preposterous"
"Ridiculous, preposterous, embarrassing, you name it. But I can't see who else it could be"
"I'm surprised at you and your accusations, Mrs Hughes"
"I am only speaking from a place of logic. All we know is that his lordship and her ladyship were up until the middle of the night, they had had far too much to drink and an intimate item of clothing – currently without an owner – was found on the stairs. I would like to know who they belong to so I can return them and hopefully contain the story before it because the next dinner table discussion upstairs"
But it was too late for that.
Cora groaned as the wretched sunlight filtered into her bedroom, waking her up quite impertinently and beginning the onslaught of her hangover. She swallowed hard, her throat dry and scratchy, and her head seemed to still be spinning; surely she wasn't still tipsy? She rubbed her eyes and slowly peeled her eyelids open until she was able to focus on her surroundings. At least she had woken up in her own room, she thought to herself, remembering a night when she and Robert and found themselves both squeezed into the single bed of his dressing room after a night of similar debauchery a few years ago.
No, she was definitely in her own room and her own bed, and sleeping next to her – in a similar state of complete nakedness – was her darling husband. She chuckled to herself as she recalled the events of the previous night. It had been quite a while since either of them had gotten so drunk, and if she was being honest with herself, she had found it exhilarating. To see her husband so giddy and carefree had always been a sight that had warmed her heart – in the appropriate circumstances – and to be a part of his merriment had given such unbridled joy. When else did they get the chance to laugh so loudly, dance so wildly, or make love so passionately that the almost didn't make it up the stairs? No, despite her hangover, she was quite, quite happy.
"Robert" she beckoned hoarsely as she slowly rolled over to face him.
"I can't talk right now" he answered, his eyes closed and his body unmoving, "it feels as though someone is banging a nail into my forehead" Robert groaned, and Cora had to stifle a chuckle.
"You and me both. Do you still want to go riding today?"
Robert answered her with a loud groan and Cora couldn't help but laugh – which she instantly regretted as it sent another bout of pain through her delicate head. Robert caught her groan of discomfort and smirked before finally opening his eyes and staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering"
"Don't worry, you're certainly not alone. I drank just as much as you did…and danced as much too, there's a terrible ache in my back"
Delicately, Robert rolled over to face her, and he finally smiled when his eyes found hers.
"I seem to recall most of the dancing was your doing"
"You started it, darling, not I"
"Oh, did I really?" Robert asked with exhaustion as he rubbed his forehead.
"You did. And you were quite adamant about it"
"Oh, what a drunken fool I've been" he groaned, although Cora could tell it was in jest.
"Again, you're not alone in that. I was rather plastered myself"
"I could tell from your dance steps" he teased.
"Robert Crawley, if you were not suffering so, I would clip you around the ear"
"Go ahead, it might distract me from my headache"
"Do you really feel that bad, or are you being all man-like and melodramatic?"
He arched his eyebrow at her but decided not to go into battle.
"A bit of both, I'm sure. Anyway, I rather think it was worth it" he conceded.
"That's good to hear. It's always nice to have an optimistic take away after a night of guzzling expensive wine"
"There is that, but we did have some terrific fun last night, didn't we?" he hummed, and Cora wondered if he might get a new dose of energy.
"Oh, that" she blushed, "we most certainly did…actually, I think the pain in my back might be from you pinning me against the balustrade"
"And kissing you senseless?" her replied, his voice now like warm silk.
Cora hummed in confirmation.
"I'm not sure where you got your energy from last night, but that is a Lord Grantham I would like to see more of" she flirted.
"My dear, my lack of control may have been fuelled by the copious amounts of wine, but I assure you that my desire for you is always present and will always be unwavering" he said softly, and he punctuated his words by stroking the backs of his fingers across her cheek.
Cora sat up when he'd finished and leant down to kiss him languidly, and while the kiss may have been slow, the intensions behind it were very clear.
"Since you seem so passionate about our night of debauchery, what do you say we have a little more terrific fun this morning?"
"You mean you feel well enough for all that?"
"Just about. I'm sure I can push the discomfort aside if it's for the sake of marital passion"
"Lady Grantham, you are a wonder" he said in saw.
"Then come here and kiss that wonder"
And, oh, how he did.
Thankfully, Cora had begun to feel better by the time dinner rolled around, and as O'Brian was helping her select her jewellery, she breathed grateful sigh that her head no longer pounded, and her stomach didn't twist up at the mere thought of food. Her intimacy with Robert had done little to improve her discomfort, but it had been worth it.
"I'll wear the pearl earrings tonight" she told her maid as she pulled her mind away from the morning's excitement and studied the jewellery in front of her.
"Very good, Milady"
"Thank you, O'Brian, that will be all"
O'Brian gathered up Cora's clothing, but as she always did when she wanted to stir things up a little, she lingered in the bedroom, just enough for Cora to be able to spot her in the mirror.
"Is something the matter, O'Brian?" Cora asked, knowing full well that O'Brian lingering was intentional.
"Well, there is something, Milady. I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel as though you ought to know"
Cora turned to face her from her place at the vanity.
"This sounds rather ominous"
"I don't want to offend you, Milady"
"I'm sure I can handle it, O'Brian"
"You see, there was a bit of a commotion this morning…"
"What sort of commotion?"
"I don't like to say" O'Brian lied, "but I know it has something to do with the family, and the servants have caught wind of it downstairs and it has led to some rather unfavourable comments"
"You mean some of the staff are speaking ill of the family?"
"Yes, Milady. I couldn't say who as I haven't had the chance to enquire, but I think it's most disrespectful…I've heard quite a few comments about Lady Mary in particular"
"Lady Mary? And you don't know what sort of comments?" Cora asked – her chest puffing out in defiance.
"I couldn't tell you anything specific, I'm afraid, I've only heard snippets and passing words, but what I heard did not sound proper at all"
"Thank you for informing me of this, O'Brian. I will see to this personally" Cora said with forced calmness.
"Very good, Milady"
With that, O'Brian finally took her leave with a satisfied smirk plastered across her features.
Cora sat back in her chair and sighed, she really hated this sort of thing. She tried to be compassionate with the staff and knew that she could not expect them to be jolly at every possible moment, but there was no excuse for disrespectful comments, gossip or slander – that was just a matter of good human nature…or a lack thereof. She felt she couldn't have staff working with her and her family so closely if they spoke ill of them behind their backs.
She considered for a moment speaking to them head on, but the last thing she wanted was to call a meeting and scold them all like school children. No, she would deal with this far more diplomatically and decided to speak to none other than the butler himself. Hopefully she could deal with this subtly, and not attract the attention of her protective husband, or her daughter who seemed to be in the firing line.
She decided to head down right away and hopefully catch Carson while he was alone. She hurried down to the drawing room as primly as she could manage, but she breathed a silent curse when she discovered that Edith, Isobel and The Dowager had already arrived for dinner. She started towards them, but upon realising that they were all engaged in some deep discussion – and that Carson was currently unoccupied – she decided to cease the moment and bypassed them for the butler.
"Carson, may I discuss something with you?"
"Of course, milady, what can I help you with?" he asked, masking his dread that Cora was about to bring up a certain incident from that morning.
"O'Brian has just informed me of something quite shocking, and if it's true, I feel as though it needs to be dealt with immediately"
Carson remained a picture of propriety.
"I am sorry to hear that, your ladyship, what is it that Miss O'Brian has told you?"
Cora quickly glanced over her shoulder and assured herself that they were not being listened to. She turned back to her butler and took a breath; this needed to be confronted correctly and calmly, after all, she still only had hearsay as her only evidence.
"O'Brian has told me that there have been some particularly unfavourable comments coming from downstairs, and they seem to involve Lady Mary?"
Oh, dear thought Carson.
"And apparently these were brought on by some sort of incident this morning?"
Carson cleared his throat before delicately approaching the topic.
"I am sorry that you have been troubled with this, Milady. There was an incident early this morning, though I assure you that it was nothing serious and that it was all been taken care of now"
"And have there been disrespectful comments from Downstairs?"
Carson squirmed; he couldn't bring himself to lie to her, but the last thing he wanted was for her to know the truth.
"It is nothing for you to be troubled by, Milady"
"I disagree, Carson" Cora told him, though she remained calm, "if something has happened and it has led to disrespect directed at my family, and from the staff who work in my own home, then I think I have a right to know"
"Of course, my lady, I just feel as though it wouldn't be worth your time, since the whole ordeal has been rather insignificant"
"Insignificant or not, I want to know what happened this morning, and I want to know what the staff have been saying particularly about Lady Mary"
"Oh, there you are, Cora, I was waiting for you" said Robert as he made his way into the drawing room and his entrance drew the attention of their other guests.
Cora sighed silently, it seemed as though this interrogation wasn't going to be as inconspicuous as she had first hoped.
"I'm sorry for coming down without you, but there was something important I wanted to talk to Carson about"
"I do hope nothing is the matter"
"It's nothing to trouble you with, my lord" Carson said calmly.
"Unfortunately, Carson, I still disagree. I do appreciate you trying to save me from the inconvenience of it all, but I would like to know what has happened"
"Wait, what's going on?" Robert asked and his forehead puckered in confusion.
"According to O'Brian there was some kind of incident this morning which has led to some rather unfavourable talk from the servants about the family"
Robert looked at her in utter disbelief.
"Is this true, Carson?"
Again, the butler squirmed, and he seemed to realise that he was being cornered.
"The incident was of little significance, my lord, and I have assured her ladyship that is not worth your time or your trouble"
Robert raised a sceptical eyebrow at him.
"And I have told Carson that I appreciate his concern over us, but I feel as though I have a right to know about the things that go on in my house and the things that the staff say about my family"
"I agree with Lady Grantham, Carson. What is it that you're not telling us?"
"I do not wish to embarrass either of you, my lord"
"Embarrass us? What would we have to be embarrassed about?" Robert questioned.
"Apparently a lot of the comments have been in regard to Lady Mary" Cora added.
"Carson?" Robert could feel himself sharing in his wife's frustration.
"I do hope you're not starting a fight over there" beckoned Violet as she noticed the tension that had been growing in the corner of the room.
Her comment was acknowledged only by a brief look from Robert.
"Well?" he prompted the butler again.
"I can assure you that any issues downstairs are being taken care of by myself and Mrs Hughes"
"You seem to be missing the point, Carson. We do not want to be spared from embarrassment, we wish to know what is going on in our own home" Robert said firmly, "the last thing we want to be is rude to you, but it is very out of character for you to be so shadowed"
"What's going on?" asked Mary as she entered the drawing room with Matthew.
"Cora has been informed of some incident this morning and some inappropriate staff gossip, but we can't seem to get the details out of Carson" Robert sighed.
Mary looked wide-eyed at the butler. Suddenly she knew exactly what her parents were trying to find out, and she too became intent on keeping the truth from them. She couldn't bear to see their faces when she told them that she, along with half the staff, had found evidence of their hasty undressing the night before.
"Well, I'm sure it's nothing. Just the harmless release of frustration"
"Actually, Mary, it seems as though this will concern you as well" her mother told her.
Mary squeezed her eyes shut for a second and let the comment roll off her. Anna had already informed her that there had been some gossip about the underwear being hers, despite the maid's best efforts to defend her. Mary had brushed it off, she was used to people talking behind her back by now, besides, the less she had to acknowledge her parents' unbridled passion for each other, the better.
"Again, I'm sure it's nothing" Mary said lightly, hoping to escape the matter by moving through the drawing room to join her husband.
"You know something, don't you?" asked Cora, and much like Carson, Mary had been cornered.
"No, I don't know a thing, I just pay no attention to staff gossip" she lied.
"Mary, I know that's not true, and if members of staff have been talking improperly about us, I should like to know, now please tell me what has happened"
"Fine" Mary concede with an exasperated sigh, and her proclamation was now being listened to by everyone in the room, "if you must know, Anna found a pair of women's underwear on the staircase this morning"
"What?" Robert practically exclaimed, and Cora suddenly turned white as the realisation began to dawn on her.
"That's right. She found them when she was on her way to dress me this morning. They don't belong to Edith or myself, and they weren't on the stairs last night when Matthew and I went to bed"
It was in that moment that Robert turned a similar shade to his wife. He thought back to their drunken escapades, how he had stuffed his underwear in his pocket after pleasuring her. They must have fallen out when he had pinned her to the balustrade and had shrugged off his jacket.
"Well, then who did they belong to?" asked Violet and Robert physically flinched as he was reminded of his mother's presence.
Cora and Robert were silent and completely mortified by the revelation that their staff and eldest daughter had discovered what they had gotten up to under the cover of darkness. Not only that, but their entire family was now privy to the scandal, and they would have to spend the entire evening looking them in the eye and pretending that they hadn't been only a few drinks away from making love on the staircase like scoundrels. Cora turned away with shame and blushed ferociously as Robert simply stood rooted to the spot with his mouth agape.
"Oh my god" Edith groaned as she too had caught up with the tale, "Mama, Papa, really?"
Violet looked at her sternly at her son – which caused him to shuffle uncomfortably, and Isobel bit her lip in amusement – while Mary and Matthew simply sniggered.
They were certainly in for a long evening.
"Thank goodness that's all over" Robert grumbled as he made his way into the bedroom.
"I can't believe we made it through that dinner…I don't know if I will ever be able to look your mother in the eye again"
"She's made of sterner stuff than that"
"Maybe, but the look she was giving us tonight could cut through diamond" Cora whined.
"At least Mary got a kick out of it" Robert commented with a light-hearted shake of his head.
"I don't know whether or not that I should feel relieved that the scandal wasn't about her"
"Mortifying as it was, I would hardly call it a scandal. We are married, after all"
She smiled lightly at him.
"Perhaps, but it is still quite unbecoming"
"It is unbecoming for them to know it, not for us to do it" he argued, and he climbed into bed and settled beside her.
"Do you think many of our friends and acquittances are intimate on their staircases?" she probed.
"Okay, perhaps we are a little too old for drunken escapades in places other than our bedroom…but it is no different to the occasional compromising positions we found ourselves in when we were younger" he reasoned.
"No, but we didn't get caught back then"
"I don't think we cared as much; the children were too young to be around, and we had the house to ourselves most of the time"
"I don't want you to think that I am offended by your eagerness last night, Robert" she told him softly.
"No?"
"No, I just don't like our family or our staff knowing about what we still get up to"
He turned to face her then and stroked her hair.
"I know, but unfortunately now they do"
"I suppose they already knew…I was pregnant a few years ago, after all" she said quietly, hoping to avoid those bad memories.
"The way I see it, darling, is that whether people know it or not, I happen to have a wife that I love very dearly, and us still being intimate is not a thing to be embarrassed about, but a thing to cherish; and it is a sign that we are still so very happy together. That is the way it should be, and it is the way I want it to be. If people don't like it, then they can lump it, because I know how truly lucky I am to have you in my life"
Cora was taken aback by his words, and a warmth spread through her chest that was almost too much for her to bear. She smiled at him sweetly before leaning across to press a soft kiss to his lips.
"I couldn't agree more" she whispered.
A/N: And that's that. I really hope you enjoyed that. This was my first attempt at writing a full comedic piece for Cora and Robert, and I found it a little challenging, but hopefully you have all enjoyed the end result.
If anyone is following my main Cobert fic (Flux) - chapter 4 was uploaded a few days ago and I will be working on the next chapter soon. This was just a extra project and a slightly different character study.
As always reviews are adored and always appreciated.
See you soon!
- OMC
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