"Sans, I wish to speak with you," Fieri called as he walked slightly faster than normal to catch up with Sans, who was heading from the living quarters into the temple proper, Firestorm and Brimstone following on either side of him with happily wagging tails.

"sure, walk while we talk or you wanna wait until we get where i'm heading?"

"This will work just fi-… what are you doing?"

Sans glanced up at Fieri, "walking?"

"Your arm." Fieri motioned to where Sans's right arm was hanging out of his half open outer robe rather than through the arm like a civilized person, or at least that's what Sans figured he meant judging from his tone.

"what about it, char?" Sans cocked a brow at him.

"Never mind, we have more pressing matters to discuss. The renewal ceremony is coming up shortly."

"has it been six weeks already?" Sans paused just outside the inner court to consider that, his free hand moving to caress his belly. Not that there was anything to feel, he wasn't even starting to show yet.

"Just about, I'm wondering how you intend to fix your sleeping habits before the ceremony, or do you intend to simply stay awake all morning and sleep after? I certainly hope it's not the latter, it would be terrible if you fell asleep in the middle of the ceremony."

"what?" Sans paused again, this time right in front of the altar. "what're you talking about? i don't plan on doing anything at all."

"Surely you plan on leading the ceremony, it's your duty."

"no, it's your duty, head priest. are you seriously saying you want me to lead a parade all the way around the city walls?" Sans shook his head dismissively, then turned around so he could boost himself tailbone first to sit on the altar, somehow getting on it without jostling his resting arm. Touching the altar, let alone settling his bony butt on it, always got him a few shocked looks from the priests, especially Fieri. It was hilarious. "nah, not happening."

"You were told when you first agreed to this that a bridegroom of the gods would be required to participate in all the major ceremonies and festivals."

"and lord fiersome himself, my lawfully wedded husband and father of my unborn children and the god whom you serve, told me i don't gotta do anything i don't wanna. and i don't."

"You're going to leave your poor husband high and dry during an important ceremony?"

"you're going to make a pregnant monster walk around the walls of the whole city?"

"If you weren't so lazy perhaps that wouldn't seem like such an impossible distance. Didn't you used to be a nightwatchman? Didn't you have to walk the walls every night?"

"i wasn't pregnant. with. triplets. back then. as i seem to need to keep reminding you."

Firestorm and Brimstone both whimpered and squirmed where they sat, looking between Fieri and Sans in confusion.

"It seems like a very sorry excuse for neglecting your husband."

"perhaps we should call in spookins and ask them for their professional opinion, since you won't seem to listen to the guy who's one job is handing out orders."

Papyrus came stomping in at that point, boots, clothes, and gloves still trailing bits of dirt and a few stay leaves. "I WAS TOLD THERE WAS AN ARGUMENT GOING ON?"

Fieri bristled, little sparks popping off his head. "How dare you track mud into Lord Fiersome's temple, let alone the inner court!"

A couple priests who had followed Papyrus in frowned, Sans did as well.

"OH, I'M SORRY…"

"no, how dare you talk to my bro like that."

"SANS, THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT. FIERI IS RIGHT, I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN RID OF THE MUD BEFORE LEAVING THE GARDENS."

"You need to leave right now, before you track more dirt into the temple." Fieri pointed towards the entryway, a dark scowl over his features.

Papyrus turned and started walking out. Sans hopped off the altar to follow behind, though he paused briefly to scowl at Fieri. "if you really want to push the subject, we'll talk with spookins about it tomorrow. until then, this discussion is over, char fieri."

Fieri huffed and crossed his arms, Sans ignored him in favor of following after Papyrus, Firestorm and Brimstone trailing worriedly behind him. What a way to ruin the mood, Papyrus didn't need a jerk like Fieri pushing him around. Sans wondered what he'd have to do to replace Fieri, he was pretty sure that was within his power. Or Grillby's, at least.

"… -sten to him," one of the priests was saying as Sans caught up to them. "The gardens have never looked so good since you started working in them."

"Yeah," another priest agreed as they gave Papyrus's arm a pat. "The kitchen staff are all over the moon with how well everything's doing."

"and if it helps any, fiersome isn't going to care about a little dirt." Sans slowed down to amble up to the others, a placid grin firmly in place.

"OF COURSE! I ALREADY KNEW THAT. BUT! IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO KEEP ANTAGONIZING SOMEONE WHO IS CLEARLY AS STRESSED AS FIERI WAS." There was a pause as Papyrus seemed to think something over. "IS. WHICH REMINDS ME. SANS, ARE YOU OKAY? WAS HE BULLYING YOU?"

"nah, and even if he was i can bully him right back. don't worry about it."

"IT'S MY JOB TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!" Literally, so far as Papyrus was concerned. The gardens was just him puttering around like he did back home. He had basically made himself into Sans's personal assistant and spent most of Sans's waking hours fussing over him. "SPOOKINS SAID STRESS ISN'T GOOD FOR THE BABIES, IF FIERI IS STRESSING YOU OUT THEN WE NEED TO REMIND HIM THAT IT'S HIS JOB TO TAKE CARE OF FIERSOME, AND BY EXTENSION YOU AND THE BABIES."

Brimstone had pressed herself into Papyrus's side, he obligingly reached down to rub between her ears. The priests who had been comforting Papyrus and were still hanging around gave him a strange look, then shook their heads and turned their attention back to Sans.

"already working on that, we're gonna get spookins in on this first thing tomorrow to remind him what i can and can't do with three dead weights to lug around." Sans patted his belly for emphasis.

"I WISH YOU WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT MY NIBLINGS LIKE THAT, THEY MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT DEAD."

"Yeah, that's pretty much inviting bad luck," one of the priests agreed.

Sans shrugged. "fine, let's talk about something else then. you okay?"

"I'M FINE, THOUGH I DO NEED TO GET CLEANED UP AND CHANGED, MY NIGHT WATCH SHIFT IS GOING TO START SOON." He opened his arms and leaned down, like he was about to give Sans a hug if he hadn't stopped short. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARM? YOU LOOK LIKE AN UNTRUSTWORTHY COPPER MERCHANT."

"what? it's comfortable. with triplets on the way it's so hard to get comfortable, are you really going to deny me even this?"

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN SHOWING YET."

"You'd better hurry, Papyrus, you're going to be late." The two priests giggled at each other, seemingly enjoying the show.

"THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER. SANS, PLEASE TRY TO LOOK AT LEAST HALF WAY DECENT."

"alright, but i make no promises," Sans replied as he pulled Papyrus into that goodbye hug. Then Papyrus was striding away and Sans was left to return to the inner court, Firestorm and Brimstone pressed to his sides the whole way. The sun was nearly set now, he'd get to see Grillby soon. He sat back on the altar to watch the last remaining priest carefully sweep away Papyrus's muddy footprints.

A couple approached, a pair of dogs with a faint glow about them. Their tails perked up at the sight of him. "Hi Sans."

"(Hello, Sans.)"

"hey dogamy, dogaressa." Sans lifted a hand in greeting. The priest gave him a weird look, then swept the last of the dirt from the room and out the entrance. "you guys here for a reason?"

"Of course we are."

"(We need to talk to Fiersome.)"

"makes sense, no other reason to be here. don't suppose i can help?"

"Sadly no. Sorry, but we're going to have to take up some of your husband's time."

"(We hate to interrupt.)"

"nah, i get it. you got duties of your own. i'll just wait until you're done."

"Thanks, Sans."

"(You're a sweetheart.)"

Sans finally threaded his arm back into his sleeve so he could lean back comfortably while he waited, first for Grillby to show up, then for him and the Dogi to have their chat. Grillby was nodding quite a lot as the dogs laid out whatever their request or concerns were, they were standing just far enough away that Sans couldn't hear their hushed conversation. Then with one final wave they finally left. Grillby came over to the altar and collapsed in front of it, laying his upper body in Sans's lap. Firestorm and Brimstone both shifted to press against him, tails waving in greeting.

Sans started petting his husband's head, "you look exhausted."

"… I feel exhausted."

"then you should rest. when do gods even sleep? i don't think i've seen you so much as take a nap."

"… Gods don't need to sleep, usually." His arms came up to wrap around Sans's hips, his face nuzzling into Sans's squishy middle. "… Don't worry, the renewal ceremony is less than a week away."

"i'm guessing it'll renew you."

"… Yes, just as advertised." Grillby laughed, then shifted to be a bit more comfortable.

Sans continued to pet his head, just enjoying having his husband close. "and you honestly don't need me to help with that?"

"… No, not if you don't want to. The priests have been performing the ceremony for centuries without you, your presence won't change a thing."

"but do you want me to?"

"… I will admit I would be happy if you did, but isn't that bad for a pregnant mortal?"

"yeah, it's a bit far to walk, and i wasn't much for long walks even without kids to cart around."

"… Then don't worry about it. And don't let Char bully you either."

"speaking of him, and i'm not saying we'd have to do it right away, but what would it take to get him replaced? i'm starting to get tired of having to throw my weight around with him over every little thing."

"… I'm not sure if I'm surprised you lasted this long or that your patience didn't hold out longer."

"like i said, i don't plan on kicking him out right this second, i just want to know my options."

"… Just say the world and I'll appoint someone else. Or you can. Honestly, the priests have been taking care of themselves for the last couple decades, perhaps it's time I started paying them more attention."

"eh, you've got enough duties on your plate without worrying about five temples' worth of priests."

"… If you're really unhappy, you can always move to a different city. All of my temples are yours now, you can live at any of them."

"now that is something to think about. but in the mean time i'm happy to just spend time with you."

"… And I with you." Grillby snuggled all the closer to Sans.

The next afternoon, when Sans finally got up, he grudgingly went to find Fieri and find out if Spookins had been called or not. Fortunately, everyone was used to his odd sleeping schedule by now, Spookins and Fieri were chatting in the archive while waiting for him.

"Sans, there you are, good afternoon," Spookins greeted with a smile. "Fieri was just telling me about the situation."

"Yes, and Spookins agrees with me," Fieri preened.

"do you now?" Sans asked with a dangerous grin.

"In a manner of speaking," Spookins said with a casual wave of their hand. "A procession along the city walls is possible, but Sans will need to take frequent breaks to rest."

"Which we will be doing, we have to stop at every bonfire to restore it."

"That's not really resting."

"What?" Fieri asked in confusion, "He'll be stopped. Everyone has to stand still while the fires are restored."

"Standing still isn't resting, he'll need to actually sit down and rest as well."

Sans just sat back and let Spookins talk, a smug grin plastered across his face.

"How often?"

"Hmmm…" Spookins put a hand to the spot where their face and neck met. "You may have to run me through a practice ceremony to be sure, but I think after every bonfire would be best. Also it would be preferable for him to rest someplace quiet and secluded. Honestly, whatever we can do to reduce stress at this stage would be best. Every stage really, but once it becomes a little more obvious he's pregnant everyone will stop demanding so much of him." Spookins shot Fieri a quick glare.

"i'm right there, you know."

"Sorry, sorry." Spookins had the good grace to look chagrined. "It's just that I already knew you didn't want to do this ceremony, Fieri's the one who needs convincing."

"Stopping to rest after every bonfire, even if only for a few minutes-"

"I would rather he rest for a full fifteen minutes, and possibly eat or drink a little something. Are you still having trouble eating?" Spookins turned their attention back to Sans at the question.

"yeah," Sans admitted reluctantly. "nothing's all that appetizing."

Spookins patted his hand gently. "It's alright, it happens to a lot of monsters their first pregnancy. The important thing is to eat anyway, even if it's only a little."

"yeah, i'm trying." Sans sighed, it really was becoming harder and harder to eat. He decided he'd had enough of that line of thinking. "so, char, what's the conclusion on the renewal ceremony."

Fieri flinched at Sans's use of his first name, just as he always did. "Stopping to let you rest after every bonfire would take too long, we're supposed to finish the ceremony at noon."

"and you're not going to rope me into any of the other renewals before the kids are born."

Fieri grimaced, but nodded.

"or the one right after they're born, either."

"Yes, yes, you're in charge here."

"and don't you forget it."

"Now that that's settled," Spookins said with a muffled clap, "how about we turn this into a proper check up while I'm here." They hopped off their seat and picked up a bag that had been sitting next to it.

"sure, you know where my room is." Sans folded his hands into his sleeves as he and Spookins left the room.

AN: I never did find a place to put it in the meat of the fic, so a little explanation on the major festivals and ceremonies. The equinoxes and solstices are the major festivals, it's always a party and there's always a special sacrifice to the patron gods during their time of day. Oh! I think that's something I didn't mention earlier: the four elemental alignments line up to the four seasons and four times of day: earth, fire, wind, water; spring, summer, autumn, winter; dawn, noon, dusk, midnight. So the equinox or solstice that lines up with the major element of the god is the one that gets an extra special sacrifice the god usually chooses for themself.

The renewal ceremony happens right in between each solstice and equinox, which would be the six week mark. This one doesn't change, it's just a procession around the city's walls that stops at each watch fire and has a little prayer, a sprinkling of holy… well not water obviously. Holy spices in Grillby's case. Burn some incense (probably in one of those incense burners on the end of a chain being swung, those are sooooo cool looking). It's mostly to keep your patron god healthy, a weak or sickly god isn't going to be able to protect you. Families with their own patron gods (like the Dogi) also do a smaller version of these ceremonies on the same day.