warnings: gender dysphoria, child abuse, emotional abuse.
5.
At the age of nine, Nagisa knows that she is not a she. She doesn't know what she is but girl is not it. Or rather, it is not enough. Mama needs her to be so she can pretend to be. It doesn't seem too hard. She's done it before.
But doesn't that hurt?
It sure hurts their neck to look down all of the time. They say nothing about this to their mama of course, because all they can do is obey obey obey.
Don't you wish you could change things?
Change? Sure. But change wasn't like that. It wasn't that easy.
But Nagisa wants it to be. Before it's too late.
A part of them whispers it might be, whispers it is the second their mother calls their name and sinks their claws in.
The guilt sinks in with it. After all, her mother wants a daughter more than anything.