7. THE CIA
AUTHOR: flowersforzoe
It was love at first sight. The first time Joe Byrne saw Tulip Jones he fell madly in love with her.
And many years and two wives later, he had never been able to fall out.
Byrne was quick to accept the invitation to Alex's party. He wasn't sure how exactly Tom, the kid's friend, was able to track him down, nor did he care. He could write the trip off as a business expense. Tulip Jones would likely be there, and any excuse to see her was good enough for Byrne.
Ah, Tulip Jones. Her name reminded Byrne of the flower she was. Beautiful. Comforting. Sweet-smelling. The perfect name for the perfect woman. Sure, the name Tulip wasn't exactly pretty, but neither was the world they worked in, so it was all the same to Byrne.
It had taken him forever to get ready for the party. What would Tulip like best? A suit? A button-down? An open-necked polo? The party instructions hadn't been very helpful, what the hell was 'funcy,' anyway? He felt momentarily guilty that he had never cared this much about either of his now ex-wives, but the thought quickly passed and was replaced with a single word: Tulip. Byrne shivered. It would never work out, would it?
Goddamnit, Joe, he thought to himself, You're better than this. Focus, damnit!
But the truth was, Joe wasn't better than this. He'd been in love with Tulip for years now: since the Cold War! But his first wife got in the way, and then Tulip's husband, and then his second wife. Finally, both their spouses were out of the picture. They were both single, which hadn't happened since before they'd met. Joe knew he needed to make a good impression on her tonight, or else he may never get another chance. Buttoning up the second-to-last button on the shirt he'd finally compromised on, he was ready to go.
Joe had made two other CIA agents, Tamara Knight and Ed Shulsky, travel with him to alleviate suspicions. Besides, they had both met Alex before, so surely they'd get something out of it? That's how Joe rationalized using CIA money to flirt, anyways. He was ready. He had asked Tulip if it would be okay to come, mostly to seem considerate. His real reasoning, though, was to confirm her attendance.
"Okay," he began briefing his agents as they walked up to the doorway of Alex's house, "Act natural. Be social. And if you value your jobs, do not make me look bad in front of Tulip Jones."
"Act natural. Be social. And if you value your jobs, do not make me look bad in front of Tulip Jones."
They were instructions so simple they almost insulted her intelligence, but Tamara Knight was definitely going to break them all. It's what Alex would have done, anyway.
Tamara had been surprised when Byrne had told her and Agent Shulsky the location of their next mission. She had been expecting somewhere exotic, not boring, drab London. But when she'd heard why they were going, she was infinitely more intrigued.
They were going to a party. Not just any party, but a party thrown for Alex Rider. Alex Rider. Tamara had missed the little brat. They hadn't spoken since he was blasted into outer space, and she desperately wanted to see him again. It's not every day a CIA agent and a teenaged MI6 agent take turns saving each other's lives before saving Washington D.C. To be fair, that was mostly Alex's doing, but still.
In getting ready, she had wanted to capture the look of the badass spy she was. What's the point of having such a cool job if you can't look the part? She had decided on a sleek Hugo Boss suit that fit her like a glove, and a pair of ever-sensible tennis shoes. You never know when shit will go down and you'll have to make a run for it, especially when Alex Rider is involved.
It was the first ever assignment that Ed Shulsky had ever said no to. It was a party for Alex Rider, and he had never liked the brat. So young, so full of himself. Alex was all the CIA ever talked about.
Alex was almost comically bad at following orders. He never listened to Shulsky, even when he told Alex to stay on that goddamn boat for his own safety. He just had to play the hero. Kids these days.
Shulsky protested and argued with Byrne for a week, before Byrne finally got pissed and threatened his job: "Agent Shulsky, however you may feel about Alex Rider, going to his party for a couple hours will be a hell of a lot less painful than me sending you to count sheep in Antarctica for the next decade."
"Uh, Mr. Byrne, sir," Shulsky started, annoyed that he had lost the battle, "I don't think there are any sheep in Antarctica."
"Exactly, Agent Shulsky. Now get the hell out of my office."
There would be booze at the party, so that was silver-lining. Though, Ed Shulsky had never been a silver-lining type of guy. He did work for the CIA, after all.
Joe Byrne was officially bored. Tamara had ditched him for a cute redhead, and Ed had ditched him for a cute beer. He was a little pissed, as they were supposed to be his wingman and wingwoman, (not that he'd actually told them that, though) but his anxiety overtook his anger. He had been standing around awkwardly, trying not to stare at Tulip, and waiting for someone he recognized. It's not like he could just talk to her or anything.
Tamara Knight and Ed Shulsky had ditched Joe Byrne at the door, both with a separate goal in mind. Tamara, to blatantly break all three of Joe's simple rules, and Ed to talk to as few people as humanly possible.
Shulsky was incredibly successful in achieving his goal. After ignoring the annoying group of loud soldiers next to the food table, he found a faded chair in the corner of the room farthest from everybody else. Shulsky only left his prized seat to grab more booze. He knew he looked like an antisocial loner or even a snob, but he didn't care, so long as he didn't have to speak with anybody about it. It was going to be a long night.
Tamara, on the other hand, was having a great time. She enjoyed fucking with Byrne almost as much as Alex enjoyed fucking with Blunt and Jones. There was something just so satisfying about annoying some of the world's most powerful people and getting away with it.
Right upon her arrival, Tamara noticed a girl around Alex's age standing alone and staring at her. "Hi," she said, introducing herself politely, "I'm Tamara." She stuck her hand out, and the dark-haired girl took it.
"Sabina. Nice to meet you. May I ask..?" the girl-who-now-had-a-name began awkwardly.
"CIA," Tamara clarified. Man, did it feel weird to just shout her employer into the void. It was a good weird, though. Laughing, Tamara said "I guess pretty much everyone knows what this party's about. And if they don't, they're going to find out, I'm sure!" Sabina laughed too, but to Tamara, it felt forced. Time to make some conversation. "Anyway," she began, "I assume you're the female friend we've got on our files? Newly resident of the good old US of A?"
"I –" Sabina started uncomfortably.
Goddamnit, Tamara, that was really awkward, she realized, Girl, you do not have enough alcohol in your system to properly socialize. "Oh, where are my manners – pretend I never said that," Tamara laughed lightheartedly, "Hi, I'm Tamara. And you're Sabina. May I ask how you know Alex?"
"I'm friends with him," Sabina explained guardedly, "I've recently moved to America." Tamara smiled to show that she actually cared about what the girl had to say, and when Sabina smiled back, it looked genuine. Basic manipulation, Tamara remembered from her psych training, Pretend you care, and people will spill their guts to you. "Pardon me for asking, but –" Sabina started awkwardly.
"Oh, I was definitely rude first!" Tamara assured her.
"But you seem awfully young to be working for the CIA...?" Ick, personal questions.
"You say that, knowing Alex?" Tamara challenged, dodging the question. Sabina wasn't replying, so Tamara decided to give her some bland information just to keep her talking. This party was boring, and there was no one else to talk to, anyway: "I was actually recruited when I was nineteen, still in college," she explained, "Didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, wanted to travel and make a difference in the world, and there you have it. I wasn't meant to go on a mission so soon, but Byrne thought it might help Alex if someone also young worked with him this time."
"This time…" Sabina wondered quietly.
"The first set resented him and they ended up passing on, pardon the bluntness," Tamara explained, even though legally, Byrne would have kicked her ass for doing so. She immediately realized that that may not have been the best thing to Sabina. Her skin had gone pale, the poor girl. "Don't get me wrong, I love my job," Tamara assured her quickly, trying to bring the color back into her face. "There's nothing more satisfying than knowing that I've stopped so many deaths. But I never forget the danger. Alex is lucky, you know." Sabina scoffed at this. Word choice, Tamara, damnit! "Not lucky to work for MI6," Tamara clarified, "But lucky to be alive. He almost died, you know. I had to save him from drowning."
Sabina stayed quiet for several minutes. Tamara figured she was still trying to piece together the information. "I'm glad he has someone in the CIA there for him," she said finally.
"My job will always come first. If it comes down to it, the lives of my countrymen will always trump his. I like him, and I'll try to help him, but in the end, my boss is my boss and I do what he says," Sabina stayed quiet again. Goddamn, I didn't know how hard it was to interact with non-intelligence people. Trying to save the already dead-awkward conversation, Tamara said: "I'm glad he has friends like you to take care of him when I can't." Sabina nodded and walked away.
That conversation was a disaster, Tamara realized, I need to find some booze to just loosen the hell up. She sauntered over to the drinks table and poured herself a glass of red wine. Standing with her back against the wall, surveying the room, she was plotting how to be just obnoxious enough for Byrne to be noticeably annoyed, but not so obnoxious that he actually reprimanded her, when someone walked up to her.
The mystery person had the most beautiful red hair and the shiniest green eyes.
Hot damn, Tamara thought as she checked her out, her eyes flitting from the mystery woman's red hair to her black wedge heels, Screw messing with Byrne, this party just got a whole lot more interesting.
Ahh, finally, Byrne thought. Derek Smithers. Byrne had known the gadget master for about seven years now, and they were decently close. For the intelligence world, anyway.
"So, how's she been?" he asked awkwardly, referring to Tulip.
Smithers glanced over at him, suspiciously. "Pretty well. I'm sure you know how difficult being Deputy Director is."
Byrne fidgeted. He was trying hard to hide his discomfort, but it wasn't easy. "Yeah, but, I mean, since her family and all…"
Smithers raised an eyebrow and sighed. "They say you went to the funeral."
Goddamnit, Smithers! Joe thought, Can nobody at MI6 take a hint? Now, how to phrase this without sounding like a hopeless creep in love..."Well, we worked together for almost ten years." Great job, Joe. Way to be subtle, you dumbass. Why can't you just-
"You'd have better luck asking Mr. Blunt. They usually have lunch together," Smithers pointed out, interrupting Joe's internal monologue.
Joe sighed. This was going nowhere. "Okay, is Alex alright?" When in doubt, change the subject. That's what Joe's dad had always taught him.
"We wouldn't let him out of the hospital if he wasn't," Smithers said, sounding guarded. Joe hadn't meant to upset the man.
Joe rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
"As well as can be expected. Perhaps you should go talk to people." Smithers clearly wanted this conversation to end, which Joe understood.
"And perhaps I shall." Goddamnit, Joe! You fucked it up again! You have to get your shit together and just talk to her!
And Joe did. He had actually taken Smithers's advice. He looked around for his agents. They were both drinking, the anti-social bastards. Tamara was at the drinks table, and Shulsky was alone on a faded chair with what appeared to be his third beer. Joe sighed. There was nothing left to do, except talk to Tulip.
"Well hello there," Tamara said to the mystery redhead, her voice smooth and suave, "I'm Tamara."
"Jack Starbright," the woman responded, "How are you?" Tamara was surprised to hear that Jack had an American accent. D.C., most likely. Was Jack CIA? She looked really familiar, but Tamara simply couldn't place where they've met.
"Just perfect," Tamara said coolly, a smile forming on her deep red lips, "So, what's your Alex story? Everyone around here seems to have one."
Jack chuckled. "More like stories. I've been watching him since he was seven, and became his legal guardian last year." Tamara nodded. Guardian, you say? "What about you, Tamara, how do you know Alex?"
"Well, we met while I was working undercover for a man named Nikolai Drevin. Wait. That's where I've seen you before, right? The Waterfront Hotel, remember?" Tamara flashed her best smile at Jack.
"Oh my god, that's right! I'd forgotten all about that," Jack laughed, showing all of her perfect teeth.
"I hadn't realized I was that forgettable," Tamara said slowly, over-enunciating her words. She winked at Jack.
"No, no" Jack exclaimed, "Trust me. You are far from forgettable."
And then they were kissing. When they had finally come up for air, Jack licked her lips and smiled again: "Far from forgettable, indeed."
Byrne had been watching Tulip for several minutes. Finally, she was alone. She was getting food, and he walked right up to her. "Using the soldiers as food guinea pigs, Tulip? For shame," he said charmingly, a twinkle in his eyes.
"You act like you weren't copying my strategy like your device department copied our pens in the Cold War," she shot back. Damn, Tulip's playing hard-to-get.
Byrne snorted playfully. "Yeah, Tulip, sure, you don't borrow our spy satellite designs at all," he teased. He figured it was best to just continue the light banter for as long as possible.
Tulip tried to hide a smile, but Joe saw right through her. "It's good to see you, too, Joe," she admitted shyly.
"You don't even deny it," Byrne said with a shit-eating grin. This was going better than he'd ever imagined.
Tulip raised an eyebrow at him. "I try not to insult your intelligence."
Byrne grinned. It was now or never... "Well, if I wasn't married with grandkids, I would-"
"Don't go there, Joe," she interrupted him. Her attempts were quite futile, though, as Joe was still as charismatic as ever.
Joe gave her an innocent look that took him back to the Cold War days. He wished that everything now was that simple. Good vs. Evil; East vs. West; Capitalism vs. Communism; Russia vs. America and Europe. Everything was so black and white. Now, on the world stage, everything is just so fucking convoluted, and Byrne never knew exactly where he stood with anyone. "Sorry, Tulip," he sighed, trying to draw her back in, "You know, the wife got her divorce this year." He knew without a doubt that she was aware of that fact, but it definitely didn't hurt to point it out.
"Sorry, Joe," she said, trying to sound regretful, "I know you tried to make it work."
Joe locked eyes with her. "I'm not, Tulip." And he wasn't. His bitch ex-wife had been cheating for years, and he wasn't sorry to see her ago at all.
"I'm not sure how to respond to that Joe," she said uneasily.
Joe grinned. He had finally broken Tulip. "Let me take you out to dinner, Tulip," he proposed, "It'll be just like the old days."
"Alright then, Joe."
When she and Jack finally pulled apart, they noticed Alex staring at them, his eyes as wide as saucers.
"Oh shit," Jack laughed, breaking away from Tamara's gaze and looking over at her shocked ward.
"Don't worry about it, Jack," Tamara soothed, "He'll be fine. He's Alex, after all."
Jack smiled and regained eye contact with Tamara, "Indeed he is. Can I see you again?"
"Of course you can, just call me," Tamara flicked up her eyebrows and sauntered away.
Shulsky was onto his fifth beer by the time his boss approached him, grinning like a madman.
"Agent Shulsky," Byrne announced, "We have reason to celebrate. Come on, let's do shots,"
"Why are we celebrating?" Shulsky questioned suspiciously. Unlike Tamara, he hadn't been listening to Joe and Tulip's conversation, so he had no idea why his boss was so happy.
"Like you need a reason to drink more alcohol," Joe rolled his eyes, "C'mon, you lightweight, let's go drink."
"Hey," Shulsky protested, jumping off of the chair, "I am not a lightweight!"
The two of them made a beeline for the drinks table, happily finding a bottle of vodka that was perfect for the occasion.
Tamara had seen Joe Byrne walk away from Tulip Jones with a dopey grin on his face. Then, he had marched over to Shulsky to do shots in celebration. Goddamn, Tamara realized, He didn't want us to make him look bad in front of Jones because he's madly in love with her. I can't believe it! Armed with gossip, Tamara decided to do it anyways.
"So, you and Joe?" she asked casually, strolling up to Tulip who was very clearly trying to hide a matching dopey smile.
"Oh, Agent Knight, we're old news," she laughed.
Tamara raised an eyebrow. "Really? Doesn't seem like it to me," she pointed out. Whatever had happened in the past, there was very obviously still a flame there.
Tulip shrugged. "You can think what you want, Agent Knight," she said cryptically, "This discussion is over." Tamara took this as a cue to leave. As much as she wanted to annoy Byrne, she also didn't want to piss off MI6. She glanced over at Byrne and Shulsky, who were still doing shots, and decided to join them.
Tamara had decided to join Byrne and Shulsky two shots in. Five rounds later, Shulsky was stumbling about and slurring his speech after consuming such a copious amount of alcohol.
"Take this goddamn lightweight back to his hotel room?" Tamara proposed. She was done with the party; she hadn't achieved her goal of pissing off Byrne, but she met a cute girl, so she was satisfied.
"Sounds good to me," Byrne replied, scanning the room for Tulip. Unfortunately, she had already left.
Joe and Tamara each took one of Ed's arms and draped it around one of their shoulders, acting as human crutches. Just as the trio of CIA agents arrived at the door, they were stopped by Smithers, who was looking a lot more cheerful since the last time Byrne saw him. Perhaps he had had something to drink too? He gave Joe and Tamara each a little gift bag to their respective free hands, and gave Tamara an additional one for "when Ed wakes up."
Ironically enough, it was the same exploding pens that they had stolen from MI6 the year before. Tamara had actually just used one to write her number on Jack's hand. That Smithers. He did always have a good sense of humor.