Chapter 8.
I entered the domed structure quietly and saw the same dark skinned man from when I first arrived a few days ago, Heimdall had his back to me and did not indicate that he noticed me as I slipped quietly through the door and edged along the far wall. I kept my back against it as I moved, trying to be silent. He was focused on a window that was empty and stood quietly, a strange patience surrounding him as he watched the nothing in the window beyond. I kept my back to the wall, and slowly slipped around the room, he was taller than me which gave me no surprise. Everyone was taller than me here.
He reminded me of a passage in a book that I once read, about a man who was the sentinel of heaven, charged to observe the world and learn what he could from humanity in order to appreciate God's creation. The sentinel watched the passing of time, and reported every day what he saw, slowly falling in love with the lives spread out before him. The last thing he did as he watched the world end was shed a tear for the lost potential of humanity, and how we caused our own destruction through our arrogance and hatred.
I tried to stretch myself to see what he could be looking at in the empty window, but he continued to look out into the vast nothingness with his frame blocking the view.
"You should not be out here Lilliana Rose." He said in a deep, but warm voice startling me and causing me to jump a bit and loose my balance, and I tumbled to the floor landing on my elbow painfully.
"What are you looking at?" I asked him ignoring his chastisement and tried again to see through the window as I stood back up. He motioned me over with a slight jerk of his head and I took a deep breath and joined him, I rubbed my elbow as I walked over and he frowned at my injury.
"I see a billion souls across the Nine Realms and beyond. I see the birth and death of stars, and the rise and fall of monarchs. Whole empires come an go under my watch, I see everything." He said, turning his amber eyes down on me and smiling warmly.
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair." I said and he took in a breath.
"Ozymandias by Shelley." He said to me, not hiding how impressed he was.
"I could see that you read much in Midguard."
I blushed at his response, and I looked down at my feet and looked back up at him to see him looking back out the window again, and I turned to face it with him.
"I am impressed you know that work." I smiled and he stared forward, his eyes focused out the window.
"I see everything, Lady."
"Do any of these events you see matter?" I asked him gently looking up at his dark face as he smiled back down at me. He took one hand off the hilt of his sword and put it on the shoulder guard that protected my right arm.
"I saw your soul, and it was truly the brightest of them all, others around you were mere sparks compared to the inferno the raged inside you." He said gently and motioned for me to sit on the steps to the raised platform that activated the Bifrost.
"Flattering," I said, "But I was asking for more there. Is there anything that happens, that is more important than the rest?"
I sat next to him on the steps and he removed his helmet, letting several dreadlocks fall down his back, and he smiled at me. He motioned toward the window, and I looked forward with him and tried to see what he saw, but the picture remained painfully empty.
"It all is meaningful, even the small actions that seem unimportant." He replied and I smiled back at him. He waved his hand over the window to show a nebula that shone with an inner singularity, tendrils of green, orange, and red stretched out into the space around it as the Universe continued it's Cosmic Dance. I studied it with him and smiled as the stars twinkled around it.
"Beautiful." I said. "Almost hard to believe that everything, even our bodies are made of the same stuff that make up that Nebula. Star stuff."
He looked at me and leaned back a bit. I smiled and pointed to the Nebula he brought up in the window to the galaxy. He turned his head and looked at it with me as I took in a breath and smiled.
"Think about it, it is all true." I said. "The nitrogen atoms that bind our DNA, the calcium in out teeth, the iron in our blood, even the carbon in the metal of your armor. All those elements that we depend on for life were thrown out into the cosmos by a star as it collapses and becomes a black hole. Even death has meaning if you look at it at that scale, the celestial bodies create life anew as they die."
"It makes you wonder if you will create life if you ever die." He said and I gave him a crooked smile and nodded.
"My mom died creating me," I said and sighed. "Why should I be any different?" He thought it over for a moment and changed the view we looked at. This time he brought up the rings of Saturn, quietly revolving, filled with dust and rock, the Shepherd Moons of the planet creating the gravity that guided their flock.
"I believe your purpose is far greater Lady, and the conditions of your birth may have been happenstance, a terrible coincidence to create a being that was needed to be." He said at I watched A large mass drift past the window in the silence.
"It must give you a lot of time to think out here." I said, trying to change the subject and he leaned his sword against his knee.
"It does, and allows even more time to create my own opinions. Do you want to know of a particular Mortal?" I looked at him and thought about Teeney back in Seattle and felt homesick and worried about her at the same time.
"Would you tell me if I asked?" He gave me a knowing smile and closed his eyes and concentrated as I watched him closely.
"She is happy, and is going to live with a family who will care for her." He said and my mouth fell open in surprise.
"Shut the front door! Teeney got adopted?" I said and I smiled wide for her, and I let a tear fall as I thought about how she was going to be all right, how someone gambled on her and she won.
"You just made my whole life." I said to him and hugged Heimdall happily and he laughed a bit when one of my bracers got caught on the edge of his armor.
"It is my pleasure to ease your mind." He said as I disengaged myself from him.
"Thank you for telling me something good, I needed that after spending most of the day with Captain Intense." I said composing myself and he changed the window to show a green and purple nebula.
"You no longer have to worry for your mortal friend." He said as I unplugged my headphones and hit play on Death Cab for Cutie and Grapevine Fires started up and we listened quietly.
"Teeney's favorite song, I could never tell her it was about trying to find hope in a hopeless situation." I explained to him as he looked down at the phone in my hand.
"I see." He said, and I had a feeling that he understood me perfectly and I didn't have to explain myself to him at all.
I looked at the Nebula again and sighed as he changed the window to a solar system with beautiful planets lined up like beads on a string.
"It is so hard to believe all this is out there, and someday I am going to see it all." I said and he looked down at me as I leaned back on my elbows.
"You will leave us?" He asked me tersely, a frown creasing his face.
"Itchy feet." I said and clicked the heels of my boots together. "Combine that with a restless soul, and you have me. My life will never end, what would you do with eternity?"
I asked him and he looked at me thinking about it patiently.
"May I suggest you spend it with the other immortal in Asgard?" And I looked at him and frowned in thought.
"Fandral? Oh hell no!" He is awful, and far from my type, and don't start thinking I am into girls. I am proudly Asexual." I said, Heimdall laughed and regarded me with amusement and leaned close.
"Jotun and Asgardian DNA joined do create an immortal hybrid."
"I understood about two words of that, but are you going to tell me who?" I asked him, leaning in and grinning, he smiled back at me conspiratorially.
"I betray no secrets, and I promise to keep yours. However, It was my bound duty to tell the Allfather you are here, I have also taken the liberty of telling him you are not seeking escape just conversation." He stood up and put his helmet back on and helped me stand up by offering his hand, I did forgive him silently.
"How long before the party arrives?" I asked and sighed while holding his sword as he adjusted his deadlocks under his helmet.
"A few short moments, but I did enjoy your brief company." I smiled up at him and was glad to have someone to talk to I didn't have to explain everything I said to.
"Want me to visit again, we can watch the Universe and talk about nothing and everything." I said to him and his amber eyes smiled down at me as I handed him his sword, and he took it carefully from me. His hand fell onto my shoulder, and I smiled up at him as he studied me for a moment.
"I would like that." He said and patted me with the hand on my shoulder. "You have a quiet wisdom, it will be good to hear what more you have to say."
"Thanks." I said and hugged him again quickly. "Thanks for seeing more than my faults, and for finding me. It makes me feel so much less lonely out here."
He returned the hug and pushed me back gently as I wiped a tear away.
"They are arriving, one may become jealous you offer me affections." I laughed and nodded and took a quick breath in to collect myself.
"Thanks Starstuff." I said and he smiled at the nickname I gave him.
I heard Thor first, and turned to see Volstagg and Loki following him through the door, and smiled at them, but decided against it when I saw the look on Thor's face, and instinct took over and I looked down at my feet.
"You should….." He started and my inner bitch crawled up my throat, and out of me.
"Not be here. Yeah, I get it. Heimdall said the same thing when I showed up." I said and walked around the platform to meet with the group and rolled my eyes. I let out a sigh, and looked over at Volstagg who was suddenly concerned about me.
"Then what were you doing out here?" He challenged me angrily, and I took a step back from Thor and put my hands up.
"Whoa, Pikachu, ease off the clutch and chill out a bit." I said then and tried to stay as relaxed as I could. "I got bored and went for a walk. I talked with Heimdall and nothing more. Do you see any chaos? Is anything on fire? You are making an arrogant assumption about me over absolutely nothing."
I backed away as he took another step forward and suddenly felt super small in his shadow, and memories from my childhood surfaced again violently. I shivered and tried to push them back behind the wall, locking them into their respective cages.
"Mind your tongue girl, I warn you." Thor said, pointing a finger at me to drive his point home. And I got angry as hell at him threatening me, I planted my feet and refused to take another step back in our version of David and Goliath.
"Or what?" I snapped out at him and Loki looked at me wide eyed, his face filled with concern. Volstagg's eyes widened at my defiance and I crossed my arms.
"You think you can really fucking threaten me? I have survived some pretty nasty stuff, and I came through it fine. I was doing nothing out here but talking to another person and it was nice. God, grow the hell up!" I said and Thor took another step toward me and I could see him getting angrier by the minute.
"Back off, Syd Vicious!" I warned and he still advanced on me.
"I jutted my chin out at him and he clenched his fists. "You don't scare me, I am a hurricane!" I screamed and I saw Loki step forward to stop the fight before it escalated, but it was too late.
"You do not speak to me in that way." Thor said and I rolled my eyes.
"I am not a prisoner, and I will not be treated like one. You heard Odin, and you heard him loud and clear. I am not property!" I screamed the last word at him, and he took a step back from me, and I looked at him angrily.
"Do not come out here again." He warned and relaxed his hands.
"I don't know which is worse, A King who threatens his people into subjugation, or a prince who thinks he can keep everyone wrapped around his finger." I said and tension built between his shoulders but his hands stayed completely relaxed. I thought I had won when he moved suddenly, and with a terrible speed.
For a guy his size he moved fast, and he had me by the collar of my jacket and I was slammed against the wall off my feet. My head banged against the wall and I saw stars, I instinctively grabbed his wrist as I gritted my teeth. Shaking my head as gray spots clouded my vision, I opened my eyes and looked into Thor's. His hand arced back in slow motion and I closed my eyes and relaxed everything when the slap came, and I screamed at the pain that rocked my head to the side.
My cheek felt on fire as I tasted blood from a split on my lip, and three sets of hands wrapped around his shoulders as he prepared for another punch, three grown men worked to pull him off of me and I made eye contact as a drop of blood from my lip hit his hand. Everything went into slow motion as his hand tightened on the collar of my jacket and I gasped for air. Loki grabbed the arm that held me off the ground, and I felt a tear trace down my hot cheek as he looked at me.
"You are not the first man to beat me up, but you will be the last." I said and his anger suddenly left him as fast as it came on and all three men stopped and looked into my eyes, the only sound that filled the room was the sound of our breathing. Realizing what he had done he dropped me into a heap on the floor and I sank to my butt with my back to the wall, staying very still I threw my arms up over my head as he bent to help me up. Thor backed away from me, and I got my feet back under me as I wiped the trickle of blood off my chin and I winced in pain as Loki came up to me.
"I'm fine," I said and stood up, pushing him away as I edged out of the room slowly with my back to the wall. My hands out like a barrier, as if I could keep them all back. I walked out the entrance of the Bifrost and put a hand on the door frame to brace myself as I looked at the bridge, the room behind me became dead quiet and I took in a breath.
"Heimdall, I almost forgot something." He nodded quietly at me as I turned, Thor visibly wincing at the cut on my lip that was already healing.
"You see everything out there, on behalf of Humanity in general, sorry about the Twilight Saga." I stepped out onto the bridge and walked back to the castle and my room quietly.
"Lady Lilliana…." I heard Thor say and I kept walking into the silence.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"What was that?" Loki angrily said to Thor as Volstagg and Heimdall looked on, he searched his brother's face for anything resembling an answer and found nothing. He turned and looked at the shrinking figure of the small woman walking away in the distance and back to Thor. Volstagg looked at the both of them and let out a tense breath, Loki turned back to rage at him further for what had just transpired out there.
"You could have hurt her horribly, or worse! You see how small she is compared to you. She trusted you, and you did this? Striking a woman is the lowest thing any man can do, and even, with all I have done….I am not that low of a man." Loki said and Thor glared at him quietly and looked at the drop of red blood on his hand and wiped it away onto his pants, hiding his shame.
"Does the Allfather know of this?" Volstagg asked Heimdall and he nodded to confirm that he had reported Thor's actions to Odin, per his duties to his King.
"She was scared...but she did not flinch away" Thor said and started back for the castle alone leaving the three of them standing in the room, and Loki turned to Heimdall.
"Did she ask you to send her anywhere in the Nine Realms?" Loki asked him quickly, and hoped against hope he would say no.
"She did not ask to leave Asgard. She inquired about a Mortal, and she and I talked plainly of things that captured her interest. She is quite clever." Loki felt relief flood through him at the revelation given, and Volstagg looked at them both.
"I thought she would wish to just speak, I needed it confirmed." Loki said and he wanted to ask what they spoke of, and Heimdall spoke again.
"Her mind is vast, and her thoughts are beautiful. She has a silent philosophy that is her pillar and she has the strength of her convictions to stand behind them. I told the Allfather of this." Loki smiled at what Heimdall saw in her, and agreed quietly at his opinion.
"I had better go catch up ta Thor," Volstagg said in the silent room. "What do ya think Thor meant when he said she dinnae flinch?" He asked before leaving and looked troubled.
"The Little Mouse is used to people being unkind." Loki replied to Volstagg, and the red bearded man gave his beard a tug and frowned to himself.
"I would strike the hand from the man who has caused her ta understand sufferin'." Volstagg said angrily. "Ya are right Loki, no man should harm a woman in that manner."
Loki nodded his agreement, and looked at Volstagg quickly before returning to Heimdall, and took in a breath. He wanted to see what Odin would say to Thor for a moment, but he knew that the frail creature that had left was left vulnerable.
"If she returns, and I believe she will, inform me first and indulge her questions. I will deal with her, and we can avoid her angering Thor." Heimdall agreed silently as he turned to leave.
"Where are ya going?" Volstagg asked at Loki reached the door quietly.
"I need to find Sif. Should you see her, explain the situation and tell her that I need her at Lilliana's chambers. This situation needs delicacy, and I need to know the extent of the damage Thor did to her. Having another woman, no matter the occupation will put Little Mouse's mind at ease, she is frightened and not in a good condition. Should I enter her chambers alone she will corner herself and it could end in calamity." Volstagg nodded as the two men left and hurried back down the bridge, leaving the watcher to return to his duties and to ponder all that he had just witnessed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I lay in the fading light on the bed in my room, the heels of my boots thumping against the bed frame in time with the beat through my headphones as I stared at the ceiling, trying desperately not to throw a pity party and failing miserably at it. I wanted to be far away again, and now I was probably going to have the King of Asgard slam my door open at any minute for provoking Thor into smacking me around. What do you say to that? Admit you are an idiot sometimes, and that you don't know when to keep your mouth shut? Or do you just keep your idiotic mouth shut and take your chewing out?
I sighed at the filigree that decorated the stonework on the ceiling, and tried not to cry. Some aches just rip deeper into you than others, and this one was killing me.
Growing tired of being depressed, I put my hand out above my head and made a small dragon. I turned up the music a bit and let a long, Japanese styled one form above me. Thinking about the ones that decorated light posts outside the international district in Seattle, and the shining purple wyrm glided easily through the air on impossible wings. I climbed off the bed and made a second one in green as the base dropped on the Skrillex song I was listening to. I gave them both fire and allowed them to both wrap around my thin arms as I put them out and I reached over and petted one gently.
Using my power, I manipulated the phone and skipped the next song and then made the dragons fly through the air around the room, lighting the candles in the sconces on the wall. Watching them glide gracefully through the air, and wanting to join them as I smiled at them as one flew past my shoulder, turning and moving through the air as I held my hand up to caress its belly as it passed. The other edged around my neck and rested on my shoulders and I scratched it's chin as it lifted away from me again to join its twin.
It was then that I noticed something new about myself, if I focused enough I could force time to move forward or backwards at will.
At first, I thought I had made a mistake when I saw a dragon take its fire back from one of the candles, but I watched it carefully and noticed that it was everything moving backwards thanks to the shadows of the breeze through the trees outside my windows. The leaves shuddered backwards, and then moved forward, and I focused a bit more and I watched everything reverse and them move forward around me.
"Fucking cool." I said and focused back and allowed myself to fall further and further back in time. The castle around me vanished large stone by stone, and the marble floor beneath me slowly deconstructed, leaving me standing over a vast field, old growth forest appearing around me suddenly and then shrinking away to seeds carried on the wind. I focused harder and the ground beneath me turned into mist and vapor and Asgard was taken back to its primordial beginnings.
Molten rock gave way, and it reversed into a cyclone of cosmic gasses, rock, and dust as the long arms of the spiral vanished back into space as the singularity became the last point of gravity in the darkness I drifted in. I floated there ,in the darkness of cosmic dance and felt strangely at peace. I looked at the stars that created the velvet night around me, and the singularity floated before me bright and twinkling.
I then focused my mind and watched as Epochs unfolded in front of me in a heartbeat, bringing me back to my room and my feet touched the marble floor quietly as the dragons finished and I smiled and made them vanish.
Time became my plaything in that small moment, so I allowed my mind to drift back again and I took myself back to the creation of the land and watched as Asgard formed from cosmic dust and vapor that swirled in a storm of energy and then light opened itself in front of me. It was so achingly beautiful to see creation happen in front of me, and I threw myself forward again to watch life form from bacteria and the first beings using their primitive tools. I found it easier to control the flow of time and I pushed forward to see large stones move back into place as people built the castle around me. I watched a beautiful blonde woman walk through me as I floated slightly, leading two boys by the hand, the dark haired one turning his face to me and I smiled recognizing both of the boys.
I reached out my hand and he looked back at something I couldn't see, my ghost like hand reaching out for his chin as I pushed forward and he vanished, and I flew forward back into my room and my time and allowed myself to touch the floor again and took a breath slowly. I smiled to myself and debated telling Loki what I discovered, and eventually decided that I could use some further insight into how this could benefit me in the long run. I was smart, but sometimes you just needed a second opinion to fully grasp some things.
The base pumped into my ears and I changed the song for something mellower as I used a small burst of energy to blow out a candle, and then concentrated on it and relit it. I then turned and walked out onto the balcony and into the fading light and leaned against the railing to think for a bit over all that I discovered today.
I smiled to myself as a breeze carried the scent of jasmine past me, and I closed my eyes to take in a breath and thought about the control I had over my gifts, the garden stretched out below me as Fire Sprites appeared twinkling among the flowers and I put my fingers out and let one them land briefly on my hand and then flutter away. I watched it spiral around a sprig of lilac, and rejoin its group and smiled to myself again.
I was so lost in the music and in my own meandering thoughts, that I nearly jumped the railing and out of my skin at the same time when a hand connected with my left shoulder. I yelped and swung around and my heart hammered out of my chest, coming face to face with Sif. I pulled the headphones out of my ears and took a few breaths using her arm to steady myself, and saw Loki over her shoulder raising an eyebrow at me.
"Holy shitcakes Sif! You gave me a minor heart attack." I said and laughed as I put my hand to my stomach, focusing on my breathing.
"We knocked, you didn't answer." She said and I continued to calm back down, and walked past Loki and over to a seat, turning off the phone completely to save the battery as I walked. I sat it down on a table next to a chaise and relaxed for a bit as I sat down on it and leaned back into the cushions.
"I kind of wanted to be left alone." I said and looked at Loki, "Usually people want privacy when they don't answer doors."
I groaned and crossed my arms and ankles as I relaxed more.
"Loki told me what happened, and I came to check on you. We were concerned." She said and looked at me obviously upset.
"About what?" I said and shrugged while looking at them both, trying to hide that I was freaking out. No one usually cared about me after I got my ass kicked.
"I pushed him too far, opened my mouth and got my clock cleaned in the process. I was sort of asking for it. Besides, I can take a punch, everyone here needs to calm down and eat some fruit, do some Yoga or something." I said and looked to Loki for some help, but he offered none.
Yeah, I suck at being smooth and cool.
"Thor does feel bad about his actions, and he would be here himself but the Allfather is…..discussing his actions with him. And no man should raise his hand to a woman, no matter how vexing the woman becomes." Sif sat down on the chaise near my feet and I moved them over for her.
"Great. Chaos, mayhem, disorder, well my work here is done. For my next trick, I plan on having a moment Spontaneous Human Combustion just a heads up." I joked, but no one laughed, instead Sif put her hand on my knee and rested it there, I tried to move, but Sif was stronger and held my knee in place, so I stayed put and rubbed my eyes.
"Fuck." I said and Loki rolled his eyes.
"Being vulgar diminishes your intelligence, please refrain." He chided gently and sat down on the chaise across from us. I then felt like a child that was being scolded by Mom and Dad and I looked up at the stars as they began winking into the early night sky.
"How big of a mess did I make?" I asked and buried my face into my hands and grumbled to myself.
"Not that big of one." Sif said and smiled at me. "It can be mopped up with a cloth."
I smiled at the both of them and tried not to kick Sif for being sassy, but another problem jumped into my head as I lay there.
"Thor really mad at me?' I asked and Loki gave me and exasperated look, I tried to refrain from giving him the same look back in sarcasm and settled on rolling my eyes. I glared at him quietly and groaned and picked up my phone and made it float out of boredom.
"Thor nearly beats you, and you are the one worried about him being angry over this? Did you hit your head or was the strike hard enough that we need to take you to Eir to be checked for damage?" Sif asked and took my hand squeezing it gently.
"I provoked him…." I started, but stopped because she looked at me angrily and I sat up and sighed.
"That alone is a pitiful excuse for him to put his hands on you."She said and glared at me.
"You are so much smaller than Thor, and everyone else here and he could have killed you, it took three men, including Loki to pull him off of you. Who ever it was in your past taught you that this is acceptable behavior, I wish to have words with because there is not reason to hang blame upon your self for this." I looked at Loki and freed my hand from Sif, he looked down at his hands and then looked at me.
"I did tell you I was many things, but I am not a misogynist. I will not stand by when a man seeks to beat a woman." He said and offered some sympathy.
"Yeah, but it is cool to throw a knife at me?" I spat at him, feeling the need to be defensive suddenly.
"I knew it would miss." He replied. "Poor excuse, but you are clever beyond all expectations, and it was a foot over your head."
I laughed and patiently sighed, still wondering about how I was going to rebuild the bridge between myself and Thor. The quiet became deafening on the balcony and I stared up at the stars and lost myself in the echo of silence for a moment.
"All these brains, all that I have read, and I still can't figure people out." I sighed and Sif looked at me.
"Maybe you were never meant to make windows into a person's soul Lilly." She said and I thought about her statement quietly, and felt like an old saying about being pound wise and penny foolish.
"Like jerk face was never meant to rule the Earth," I joked and grinned, and he gave me a look of irritation, but I knew he was getting used to me.
"Amusing." He said and rolled his eyes. "Just mind yourself over the next few days, and try not to cross paths with Thor. If you are open to taking advice, let him come to you to apologize, and be gracious about it. Tempers have run hot, and space may be needed to handle this rather delicate matter."
I looked at Sif and she nodded her agreement toward me and I crossed my arms again, tucking my phone back under my arm and groaning up at the sky.
"As much as I hate to admit it, Loki is correct." Sif said and smiled at me. "Soon, it will be behind you both and you will be friends again."
I thought about it, and smiled at them both, and then shook my head remembering my latest discovery. I grabbed both of their hands quickly and smiled wider.
"Want to see something cool?" I asked them both and they regarded me suspiciously as I talked. Loki looked down at my hand briefly, and I pulled them both up so they were standing and they both looked at me shocked.
"This is really cool, don't panic and don't let go of my hand." I said and cleared my head and let the three of us fall back in time to the birth of a world.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
His boots touched the floor again and he looked at Lilliana, shaking at the revelation he saw. This girl next to him could manipulate time and could travel to the beginnings of the universe; he opened the white knuckled fist and released the fine bones of her delicate fingered hand as his pulse calmed. Sif held her stomach and she bent over and heaved a bit before she could collect herself and stand up straight again, he did not tease Sif about her reaction because he felt about the same himself. She then grabbed Lilliana's shoulders and looked her in the eyes with a bit of panic as she shook.
"Tell me that was an illusion." She said nervously and searched Lillianas face for any sign of it being a joke. Lilliana stepped back and looked away sadly, but Sif held her fast, and looked further at the girl.
"No." Lilliana said and sighed. "I can travel through time, I can see it all. Please don't look at me like that. Like you are scared of me."
Sif let go of her shoulders and sat heavily on the chaise lounge and Lilliana backed from the group. Loki was processing all that he had just seen and he looked down at the girl, thinking and slightly afraid of what she could do. What the implications of her gifts could bring.
"I'm sorry I scared you, I just thought…." She said he cut her off.
"Don't meddle with this gift too much." He warned and Sif looked up at him wide eyed. "Consequences can be far reaching, and altering history on your whim, no matter how virtuous the intentions, could be disastrous."
"Loki." Lilliana said sharply. "You are already assuming the worst of me, and not looking at the bigger picture. I just went back to see what I could, nothing more." He looked at her and saw sadness and hurt in her eyes as she looked at the both of them.
"You can't tell me that you wouldn't go back and look, maybe change some of the horrible things that have happened. Wouldn't you save someone's life if you could?" She reached out and grabbed his arm and he sighed as he looked at her.
"Every death and every event has a purpose." He said, pulling his arm away from her and breaking the contact between them. Sitting down across from Sif, he looked up at her and motioned for Lilliana to sit down.
"Those events in time have changed all of us; the awful moments have given life meaning and taught us to appreciate the peaceful moments, and in a fashion served as a lesson to how resilient we can be. As for saving a life, it only serves to delay the inevitable pain and grief to come, would you save a person just to watch them die again at another point?"
He looked at her, hoping that she heard and listened to his words and understood them. He hoped that she would listen and not abuse what had been given to her desperately as the night closed in around her. She looked down like a scolded child, and all she really meant to do was to share something with them that she thought would impress them.
"No." She said and sighed as she looked deflated, then looked up at both of them. "Just please stop looking at me like I am a bomb about to explode or something equally bad."
"Can you move forward in time?" Sif asked and Loki sighed derisively.
"Yes," Lilliana said to her. "I went forward five minutes when I first figured out what I could do, but I still wand to be surprised by the future. No spoilers." Loki smiled at her explanation, and he looked at her seriously.
"I cannot force you to not use this gift," Loki said and raised a hand before Lilliana could talk. "Go back and observe, but promise us that you will resist the urge to change anything."
"Let ghosts stay ghosts." She said to the both them and gently smiled as he and Sif nodded agreement to her. Lilliana let her hands drift together nervously and she began to scratch at the back of one of her hands, and he cleared his throat. Her head jerked around and he pointed at her hands, and she stopped and tucked both of her hands under her legs.
He was glad she could hear reason, and he stopped being afraid of her gifts slightly. A cool evening breeze blew the scent of lavender and jasmine past him and he took a quiet breath as sad memories surfaced. He pushed them back again and took another breath to steady himself; he would not show weakness in this moment.
He watched her smile and tuck a stray hair behind her ear, and admired her earring, and how the dark purple stone in the stud matched her eyes perfectly. A private smile crossed her face as she got lost in thought for a moment.
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Celebrate it and yearn for nothing more." She said suddenly and Loki looked at her and Sif smiled at her.
"You are such a strange girl." Sif said and Lilliana looked down at her hands in repose. Loki blinked and leaned slightly back and regarded the small creature in front of him, he then gave a laugh and put his hand carefully on her shoulder. She turned toward him quickly and he removed his hand.
"Strange words for a wild spirit." He said and she blushed.
"How does someone with so few years have such wisdom? Sif asked and laughed. "Our scholars would do good to pick at your mind, set you in the middle of a table and let them question you for all you know."
"I'm not a novelty Sif," She said and smiled. "But sometimes, the most damaged people are the wisest, because in their state of being broken. That constant state of feeling lost in a crowd, they find themselves looking for the keys to fixing themselves. Along the way they find other things, and store them away, make some philosophies their mantra in their quest for wholeness."
She sighed as twilight descended on them, Loki pressed his lips together thinking about the words she just said. He regarded a mind with so much vast potential such as hers. He found himself wanting to further nurture her mind, and talk to her more about the things she had read, to have debates with her until dawn, and show her secret teachings from the far reaches of the universe. He wondered if she would become bored in her personal quest and allow her mind to atrophy, or if she would still hunger for more. Reaching out into the vastness of discovery as she explored and filled herself with new and forgotten knowledge.
"You are not broken." Sif said and Lilliana looked at her. "You are the most impossible girl I have ever met though. You are stubborn, yet so amazingly dynamic at the same time."
Lilliana smiled and looked down at her hands.
"I like that," Lilliana said and smiled. "You see me, and it feels good to be seen after being an invisible girl for so long." She reached in and hugged Sif, her hand then reached out and pulled him in by the collar of his tunic.
"Get in here Magic Dance," She said and Loki took her hand from his collar and held it instead. "Attack hug."
He looked at how small her hand was in his, and smiled at her graceful fingers, fire sprites circled her head and landed in her hair, fluttering away after a moment, looking like a crown of stars the next.
"You truly are stubborn Little Mouse." He said as his thumb caressed the back of her hand and Sif laughed.
"The universe loves a stubborn heart." Lilliana whispered and Loki knew that no words uttered were ever more true.