Author's Note: Remember when on my tumblr I said that Evan and Noah getting fake-married was a canon event that I was going to wait to explain until the time was right? The time is now, my friends. May I present to you: A full explanation about how exactly the Jennings/Maxwell wedding went down. Enjoy, me friends.

The night was a cold one. Team Citrine was holding a special Nightly Group Therapy session with Michael Andersen, who had unofficially 'joined' their team just recently.

Actually, it was less 'group therapy' and more 'Truth or Dare' this time.

"Truth or dare, Michael?" Caught asked.

"Truth," Michael smirked.

"Was your brother really that big of a dick?" Caught queried. Michael nodded, taking a swig of hot cocoa. "He was."

Caught raised his eyebrows before it went to Evan and Noah.

"Truth or dare, Noah?" Evan asked. "Dare me, you little shit." Noah replied, causing many in the room to snicker.

Evan, with obvious glee in his eyes, got down on one knee and pulled out a little box.

The box opened to reveal a blackened, orange Dust-infused ring.

"I dare you.. to marry me, Noah!" Evan challenged, his voice smug and confident as hell. "FFFFFFUCK," Noah swore.

"I CAN'T SAY NO BECAUSE I'D LOSE THE DARE AND I CAN'T PASS BECAUSE MY HONOR DEPENDS ON IT. SO YES, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING MARRIED THIS OCTOBER, YOU JUMPED-UP LITTLE SHIT." Noah yelled at Evan.

The others were gasping for air, they were laughing so hard. "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, IS THIS EVEN REAL?" Caught snickered.

"YEAH, BECAUSE MR. CHUCKLEFUCK HERE WANTS ME TO BE HIS MRS. CHUCKLEFUCK," Noah quipped, pointing an accusatory finger at Evan.

It took 15 minutes for the laughter to die down. Then the planning began.

"We literally just saw you two get engaged. I'll be the reverend for the wedding, you'll need one," Caught declared.

"Pyrrha's maid of honor. She deserves it, she'll be able to defend us if shit goes down with Patrick," Noah chirped. "Then Tim's the best man and Qrow's one of the groomsmen," Evan replied quick-wittedly.

"When's the wedding taking place, Noah, my fiancee?"

"October 27."

"Glad we have that sorted out, then."

The day of reckoning had arrived. October 27. Pretty much anybody who was anybody at Beacon was there. Even the teachers.

Even Patrick, who had managed to sneak in.

The bridesmaids, Pyrrha leading them, were helping Noah get into his dress.

It, in and of itself, was quite a stunning dress. Well picked, for a man such as Noah Maxwell to wear on his wedding day.

"FUCK. This corset's really damn tight," Noah complained. "Just for you," Pyrrha said with a mirthful grin as she pulled tighter.

Noah looked at himself in the mirror. He did look really damn good. He twirled around to see the black, starry dress sparkle and seem to set aflame with light.

"I do love this." he commented, offhandedly.

Tim came in. "The wedding's about to happen. Get the veil on, you're ready, let's go!" Tim said.

And so Noah Maxwell, with blackened veil and starry dress, walked onto the aisle.

With one breath, he kicked the door open.

Caught walked in front of him, holding a boombox aloft that was blaring the Imperial March from Star Wars.

Noah strode down the aisle, in his dominatrix boots and his blackened starry dress and his ebony veil. He was owning it with a grin. Holy shit, this was happening, he was getting real-married on a dare. Many of the guests were taking pictures.

Evan stood at the end of the aisle wearing a fine black suit, dabbing at the corner of his eyes with a purple handkerchief.

Noah finally reached the end of the aisle, with the bridesmaids flanking him.

And with that, the wedding began. Noah reached for the rings, which were tied to Nimby's collar. Caught slapped his hand away. "Vows first. Then we get to the rings." Caught snarked.

With a sigh, Noah began his vows. He couldn't say it was a dare. He had to lead the rest of Beacon on. Fuck.

"When you proposed to me, I felt a sense of necessity. I.. realized I really did like you back? So I stand here, at this altar, wearing these weird ass dominatrix boots and this amazing dress, with you. Part of me thinks this is a dream. And I know it isn't. The other half feels like somebody set you up to do this. And I know that isn't true, either," Noah began.

"Let's do this, then. Let's make mistakes. Let's get married." Noah finished.

Evan nodded. His eyes were something mischievous.

All he said for his vows was "I hear you ask it, Noah: has this gone too far? Well I say, it hasn't gone far enough."

Then Evan kissed Noah. In full view of everyone at Beacon. Including the teachers. Including Patrick, who was about to implode. It was a winning move. Everybody just ate it up.

Noah could feel Evan's shit-eating grin as the two kissed. 'Goddamnit,' Noah whispered.

When the two separated after that kiss, Noah looked Evan in the eyes.

Evan looked almost giddy that he had been able to pull that one off in front of the whole of Beacon.

Noah looked confused and almost a little scared about where the rest of this night was going.

"Does anybody object to this marriage? Speak now or forever hold your peace." Caught announced.

Patrick slammed the doors of the chapel wide open. "I DO!" he roared. "EVAN'S MINE."

Caught looked at him. "That isn't a legal reason." Caught stated flatly, squinting his eyes at Patrick.

The wedding proceeded. Patrick stormed out, pissed. Rings were exchanged. Noah and Evan walked out of the chapel married.

They immediately went to the Beacon Dance Hall, where they immediately formulated a plan to get raging drunk.

Patrick managed to chronicle a timeline of all this, because he was currently stalking Noah.

Evan somehow managed to steal an electric guitar, so he and Noah (now turned Noahbrand) were doing covers of hard rock songs in Beacon's Dance Hall.

When Noahbrand sang, people listened and enjoyed it a little too much.

At one point, the two newlyweds crowd surfed.

It was at 8:57 pm when people started giving Noahbrand shit to burn. Evan thanked god that Noah's dress was fireproof.

Around 9:30 was when they were kicked out of the Dance Hall. Because it was too late, apparently.

"Go to sleep, kids." the moderators said. "FUCK YOU!" was all drunk Noah yelled in reply.

9:45 pm was when an extremely hammered Evan and Noah stumbled to downtown Vale.

Noah had a backpack in hand with the essentials.

They didn't know that Patrick was following them from the shadows. It was in his best interest to keep his beloved, dear Evan safe from all the things that may lurk out there in the belly of Vale.

10:15 was when Noah and Evan stumbled into a bar called Prism. Noah worked there for all of 30 minutes before fleeing.

10:45 was when a blackout drunk Noah and a trainwreck called Evan kicked down the door to a hibachi restaurant they had visited a while back. They got a bit too loud and were kicked out at 10:59.

The grand finale was at 11:27 pm at night. They managed to get into a theatre that just so happened to be showing Rocky Horror Picture Show. Evan and Noah walked in on an argument between the actors of Columbia and Magenta..

"Art and Brennwich are missing! We need a Frank and Rocky.." Columbia said before turning to Noah and Evan.

There was a stare-down for a minute before Columbia said the words. "Would you like to star in a production of one of the greatest cult classics of all time, random strangers who just walked in?" Columbia pleaded.

Caught had gotten an anonymous message addressed from a 'P.'

He wasn't a fuckin' idiot, he knew very damn well what exactly 'P' stood for: Patrick Andersen. He'd bet money on it.

"Come to the Arnas Theatre tonight, a few friends of yours are there in a production.." the message stated.

Caught looked up at the stage just in time.

Noah Maxwell stood there, in the erotic garb of Doctor Frank-N-Furter.

And fuck if he wasn't killing it in those strapping, kinky boots of his.

The makeup he wore was vaguely seductive.

And Evan stood next to him, hips shining in golden spandex shorts.

Caught lifted up his phone and took picture after picture. He wasn't missing this for the world.

He was the one to guide the two back to their dorm, gently shepherding them into the room.

The drunken newlyweds were still wearing their outfits.

Unbeknownst to them, the people in the dorms to the left and right of theirs were taking bets on what exactly happened before and after this.

"Alright," Caught said. "I don't want any bullshit from any of you two for the rest of the night."

"No making out, save that for later.. no singing Alice Cooper, I've heard far too much of it tonight.. and if you yell 'Fuck the king' one more time, I will duct-tape your heads to pillows." Caught explained.

Unfortunately, the two looked at each other and seemed to get ideas. Caught facepalmed as Evan and Noah slammed into bed and started making out extremely sloppily. "Goddamnit." Caught deadpanned.

Again, Caught and Tim ignored it. They ignored it until the two fell asleep, snoring loudly.