It was around the fourth month they had spent at Beacon that Team CTNE seemed to realize the sheer amount of fans they had garnered.
The revelation was definitely.. odd to them, to say the least. They had gone from social pariahs, whispered about and generally regarded with fear, to complete darlings of the school.
Out of all of them, Noah got asked out the most. His reaction was summed up in his reply: "Why the hell would you even like me, honestly. I haven't shaved in months, my hair can basically be described as a miniature Jewfro, and I am capable of setting fire to everything within a 50-mile radius. Quite frankly, why the hell would you even come near me?"
One of the weirdest things about this was that these fans had gathered into coalitions that now seemed to center around certain members of Team CTNE.
Evan had the largest of these fan-groups, led by Patrick Andersen. (He had begun to come out and cause minor annoyances for the members of Team CTNE. This was but one of the many mind games he was playing with the students of Beacon.)
And then somehow, it seemed to get even weirder the day when Evan found out the depths of the contraband smut fanfiction ring.
Then class began to settle. Evan fumbled around in Noah's backpack for the notes they would copy down so they would at least look like they were working.
Alas, his hand grabbed something it wish it didn't. Evan pulled out what he thought were the notes.
His eyes flickered down at the paper, then flicked back when he saw the words "Noah bit into Evan's neck with frenzied lust to claim his prize." printed on the page.
Evan picked it up. "Fucking 'ell, this is some saucy shit," he whispered in awe as he read the extremely lurid and erotic smut.
Noah looked at Evan with questions in his eyes. "Why the fuck are you reading that? You know our notes are really just expletives and the word 'bored' written a thousand times over," Noah snarked.
Evan silently passed the fanfiction to Noah.
After 15 minutes of reading it over, Noah turned to Evan and mouthed the predictable 'what the fuck did I just read'.
Evan's face split into a wry grin. "And I suppose you think that just accidentally, uh, fell into your backpack, ehm, yeah?" Evan jested.
Noah blushed bright red like a tomato and did not deny a single thing about the whole situation.
Caught was scanning the pages of this lewd monstrosity of a fic and giggling. "Oh my god, this is so badly written it's absolute gold. I have no idea what's funnier about it, that they insist firmly for some reason that Evan's dick is smaller than an inch or that they honestly believe that Noah's secretly a thousand-year vampire come to Beacon to gather a demonic harem in the night," Caught whispered, still giggling.
Noah leaned over. "I'm what?" he deadpanned.
Caught's smile was wide. "You're a vampire, Noah." Caught imitated.
"And we are apparently your polyamorous demon harem." he added.
"Where's the lie?" Tim snarked.
They collapsed into piles of laughter in the middle of Port's lecture.
Predictably, they were sent out of class for 'causing a disruption'.
That night, Noah woke up and found Evan spooning next to him. "You like that shit, eh? You want more?" Evan whispered mockingly into his ear.
"What the fuck. Get back into your bed, Ev'. I don't have time for this shit now." Noah deadpanned.
Evan reluctantly got out of bed and stormed back to his bunk.
"This isn't over," he whisper-shouted at Noah as he climbed up the ladder.
"We need to get a copy of some of these fanfictions, just to test for accuracy and out of a sense of poisoned rationality. Who here is good with disguises?" Evan announced to the group.
The entire group turned to Noah. "OH COME THE FUCK ON! EVERY GODDAMN TIME!" he roared.
"You can turn into a scary god demon. That's generally a good disguise, last time I checked." Caught remarked.
Noah sighed. This always happened.
Author's Notes: Reviews keep me from falling to the lure of Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright! Honestly!