Hey everyone. NexusLight here and welcome to Episode 4. The title, as you can guess, is appropriate considering what Donut manages to pull off. Of course, it's going to suck for the Blues, mainly Tex . So, with that, let's get started!

Disclaimer: I own only the OC. Red vs. Blue is owned by Rooster Teeth

Episode 4: Dude Perfect

Blood Gulch Outpost #1

Roof

No one's POV

"Dude, this is sweet!" The new Red recruit, Donut, says with excitement as the camera moves up to show him in pink armor. "Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!"

Grif and Simmons glanced at each other with uncertain expressions. Both soldiers had their helmet's off due to the lack of combat. Grif had a wild, unkept brown hair, a chinstrap beard, and blue eyes. Simmons, meanwhile, had lime colored eyes and curtained light-brown hair and a small ponytail at the back. His face was much sharper then the fat soldier's.

Donut also had his helmet off, showing he was a man with blond hair that was combed over to the right with sky-blue eyes.

Looking back at Donut, Grif was the first to speak. "Uh, hey, Donut?"

"What?" The pink soldier asked.

Simmons spoke next. "Um, about your armor."

Donut raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What about it?"

"How do I put this? Your armor is, um- it's a little, um-" Simmons the turned to Grif, wanting him to say it. "Grif, you want to help me out here?"

"It's pink." The orange soldier bluntly says with an unimpressed expression. "Your armor is frickin' pink."

Nodding, Simmons turns back to Donut. "Yeah, that's it. Pink."

The rookie blinked a few times. "Pink? My armor's not pink!" He says in denial.

"Pink." Grif says unamused.

"Yeah, definitely pink." The marron soldier agrees.

"You guys are colorblind." The pink recruit says stubbornly. "Why would they five me pink armor?"

Grif shrugs his shoulders. "Hey, don't ask, don't tell." He jokes before he begins to laugh to himself.

Simmons glances at the orange soldier, unamused by the joke. "That's not funny."

Grif settles down before responding. "It's a little funny."

"Look at it!" Donut then spreads his arms out to fully show his armor. "It's not pink. It's, like, uh, a lightish red."

"Guess what. They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink." Grif says as he continues to hammer in the fact.

Donut only looks at them annoyed. "I hate you guys."

Second's latter, Sarge comes the left ramp with Lopez behind him. "Well, hello, dirtbags." Grif rolls his eyes as all three of the soldiers turn to face their sergeant, who turns to looks at Donut with smirk. "And a fine hello to you, Madame."

Sarge let's out a chuckle as Donut gives him an annoyed look. "It's light red!"

"Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie." Sarge says before giving an expecting look. "Do you have a package for me?"

"Yes, sir." He nods before holding a card in front of him.

"Excellent." The Red leader says.

"They said this speech unit should work with Lopez." Donut then proceeds to hand the speech unit to Sarge. "Here you go."

Grif looks at the unit with a confused expression. "Speech unit?"

"Affirmative." Sarge says as he walks behind Lopez before looking at Grif. "Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to." He then looked at Simmons. "No offense, Simmons."

The marron soldier just waved it off. "Oh, don't worry. I know who you meant, sir."

"Wait a second." Grif looks at Simmons, still baffled by the discovery of Lopez actually being a robot. "Lopez is a robot."

Simmons turns to Grif with a frown. "Of course, he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?"

The orange shrugged his shoulders. "I just thought he was a really quiet guy."

"And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?" Sarge added.

"Well, I- I did think that the motor oil thing was a bit odd." Grif admitted. "I just thought he was trying to impress me."

Turning back to his father-like figure, Simmons frowned as he saw Sarge about to insert the unit. "Hey, sir, you really should ground yourself before handling that card."

"How come?" The leader asks.

"Because static could damage the card."

Sarge just waved Simmons warning off as he turned back to Lopez. "Come on, that's an urban legend they use the sell those stupid bracelets."

Grif and Simmons looked at each other with unsure expressions as Sarge began to insert the unit into Lopez's head. "And I suppose Pop Rocks and soda are gonna make my stomach blow up."

'Static'

"Yow!" As he inserted the card, static covered Lopez, forcing Sarge to jump back holding his right hand.

"Sir, I won't say I told you so, sir." Simmons quickly said, not wanting to upset the Red leader.

"Good." Sarge said as he looked form the marron soldier to Donut. "I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake here my new favorite private."

Donut shook his head in frustration. "It's not pink! It's lightish red!"

Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you." Tex told Church as Caboose and Tucker stood from the side lines. She had taken off her helmet now that she wasn't in combat. Tex almost looked like Scarlet Johansson's portrayal of the Black Widow only with shorter hair and brown eyes. She also had a mole on the right side of her face that was above her lips and freckles below her eyes.

All of the guys, except for Steve due to him being in the base to handle the paperwork that would acknowledge him as the commanding officer of the base and squad, had their helmets off. Church had black hair in a quiff style, green eyes, and a goat pact on his chin.

Tucker is now revealed to be black with a cornrows hairstyle and brown eyes.

Caboose, meanwhile, had fade blond hair and blue eyes.

Tucker and Caboose turned from Tex to Church as he frowned at what she said. "I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?"

The two then turned back to Tex, who had a bored look on her face. "First, you didn't save me because your new leader was the one to bust me out. Secondly, I'm square with you because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder."

They then focused back on Church. "You know, I help don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor. Also, Steve might of busted you out, but the plan was my idea."

Again, the two looked back at Tex, who scoffed at her ex-boyfriend. "Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now."

"No, you can't!" Church yelled with a smirk as he gestured to his specter self. "I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you."

"Stop it! Stop fighting!" Caboose cried, causing the others to focus on him. "Can't you see that you're tearing us apart?" He then looked at the red-haired woman. "What about us!?"

She only raised an eyebrow at the blue idiot. "What about you?"

"We helped you, too." He argued, tears forming on the edges of his eyes. "And what do we get? Nothing!"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Hey, what's all the yelling about!?" Tex was cut off as Steve's voice came from the base. Everyone turned to see the new leader of the Blues walking towards them without his helmet, revealing a rather attractive young man with regular brown hair and silver eyes.

The guys were surprised by his appearance, as they were expecting him to look a little more... younger. Even Tex, the tough, badass soldier, couldn't help but blush a little at his appearance. She lost it once the sergeant was in front of them all.

"Oh, hey Steve." Church greeted before looking at Tex. "We're arguing with Tex here about her owing us a favor for saving her from a life of imprisonment."

He nodded as Tex continued. "I did help them get the flag back."

"Yeah, but you were paid to do that." Tucker countered. "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the Red Army prison. It wouldn't have made any difference to us."

Steve gave Church a sideways glance before joining in. "They have a point. You owe us."

Sighing, she placed a hand to her face. "Fine. I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing." She then looks at the Blue sergeant square in the face. "As soon as I have, I'm out of here."

"Deal." Steve said as he held his left hand out. Tex grabbed it with her right hand and the two shook hands.

The black armored freelancer then spoke to the whole group. "What do you need me to do?"

"I can't really think of anything, but I'm sure the others can." The blue and white soldier suggested.

"If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that." Tucker said.

Tex looked at the aqua soldier before nodding. "Okay."

Caboose suddenly gained a surprised look. "Wait. You- you know how to fix Sheila?" Tex looked confused by what he said but nodded anyways. The blue soldier then gained a big smile on his face. "I love you."

"Who's Sheila?" Steve suddenly asked.

Everyone suddenly looked at him before Church remembers he was still relatively new. "Oh… right. I forgot about her."

Red Base

When we left the Reds, Sarge had installed a voice unit into their mechanical repair robot Lopez. However, when Sarge got it into to brown robot, static erupted from the droid's body. While it didn't appear anything was wrong, the speech unit had malfunctioned and as a result...

"Entonces le decía 'tu no pesas más, yo peso más.' Entonces pusimos nuestros cuerpos sobre la escala y determinamos quién tenía el peso más grande. Después de eso me llamé a mi mismo López La Pesado."* Lopez said.

Instead of English, Lopez now spoke español.

Simmons and Grif only looked baffled, not understanding a single word that was said, while Donut was indifferent.

"Man." Grif spoke as he looked at the marron soldier. "First he doesn't talk at all, and now we can't get him to shut up. What's he saying?"

Simmons gave the fat soldier a raised eyebrow. "What are you asking me for?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Grif replied. "Well, you know, because you're of, uh, the Latino persuasion."

"Simmons isn't a Spanish name, you dumbass." The intelligent soldier replies with a frown before pointing his left thumb at himself. "I'm Dutch Irish."

"But I thought-"

"What?" Simmons cut Grif off, giving a look that dared him to finish that sentence.

Grif only sighed. "Oh, never mind.

Donut only looked between the two during the silence before smiling. "I'm from Iowa."

""Nobody cares!""

Near the Tank

Steve's POV

All of us made our way over to the cliff where the tank was. Once it came into view, I whistled in amazement.

"Wow, you guys weren't kidding! I've never seen a real Scorpion before." He said in excitement.

Church gave him a confused look. "Scorpion? What kind of name is that?"

"Because of the four sets of treads that allow it to move and the position of the main cannon. All those features make it look like a scorpion." I explained to him.

Tucker only looked at me and then the tank before back to me. "Umm, it-"

"It just looks like a scorpion, okay." I cut Tucker off, not wanting to get into some stupid name suggestion game of what the tank should be called.

He sighed before all of us turned to look at the tank. It was wasn't completely too badly damaged. The main problem was the fact that it was upside down. I saw Tex walk over to it before I decided to help out. As the guys talked to each other, I made my way over to the armored vehicle.

Tex looked over at me as I approached. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you get this thing back on it's treads." I answered casually.

"Look, you can throw that shield of yours with damn perfect accuracy, but I doubt you could help lift a 66 metric ton tank." She said skeptically.

"Tex, just shut up and let me help." I said as I walked over to the opposite end of the tank before grabbing it. "Ready?"

"...Yeah." She responded.

Nodding, I gripped the tank before counting. "1, 2, 3!" On three, I strained my muscles and grunted as me and Tex lifted the Scorpion before rotating it to it's upright position. Once it was, I spoke in a strained voice. "Okay, ease it down!" Me and the black freelancer slowly set the tank down.

I took a few deep breathes as I look over to Tex to see her taking her helmet off, her face was drenched in sweat and she was taking deeper breathes then I was. "You alright?" I asked.

She only looked at me in shock, not believing that I wasn't in the same condition she was in. I look back at the two privates and one dead-man to see them looking at me in their mouths open. "What?"

"Okay Steve, what the fuck?" Church asked.

"Huh?"

"How the fuck are you not sweating a pool right now like Tex is and how are your arms still on your body?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

I only shrugged. "I don't really know. I guess you could say I was born extremely healthy." I then look back to see Tex still resting before looking up at the cliff trail. "Church." I said as he looked at me. "You head up to higher ground. We need someone to keep an eye on the Reds, alert us if they do something."

"Because I'm the least visible?" He asked.

I nodded as Caboose spoke up. "Wait! I'll come with you!"

Church looked at the Blue soldier in annoyance. "That kind of defeats the purpose, Caboose."

"Okay. What if I'm really, really..." He then whispers. "quiet?"

"Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?" Church asks.

Caboose only gives a nervous laugh. "Ah, good one, jerk."

"Seriously, you don't know what it means, do you?"

"Ah, no." Caboose admits with his head down.

"As funny as this conversation is,..." I cut in between them, causing them to look at me. "Church, I need you to get to watch duty."

He nods before speaking to Caboose. "Caboose, just listen to Steve and, man, and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that." With that, he was off.

I then looked at the two remaining soldiers. "Caboose, Tucker, you two will remain down here to keep an eye out from the ground and guard Tex while she fixes the tank. Tucker,..." I point to the hill that's keeping the Scorpion out of the Red base view. "you watch the Red's base from the hill, keep out of sight."

"You got it, sir." The aqua soldier replied before making his way over to the hill.

I then turn to Caboose. "Caboose, I nee you to keep an eye on those cave entrances." I ordered as I pointed towards where the caves were.

He looks at them before looking at where Church was heading. I place my hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "Caboose, if we're attacked or Tex fixes the tank, we'll all head up to join Church on the cliff."

Nodding, he walks towards the dirt trail that snakes along the hills between the two bases and watches the cave entrances. I look at Tucker before speaking. "Tucker, I'm going to make a quick run back to base and grab some spare rounds in case we end up in a fire fight with the Reds."

"Alright." He nods as I turn towards the direction of our base and make my way back.

Tucker's POV

I watched as our sergeant ran off towards the base, staying behind the hills to keep out of sight. Now most people would think that if they saw me and Church before Steve showed up, that I was one to ignore or complain to orders. That's not entirely true because the reason I did it was because they either involved me getting hurt or it was just fun to fuck around with Church. Steve though, he's more of a commander then Church, like Flowers only he's not as laid back, and his orders always didn't include the chance of just me being injured. In short, I had a lot more faith and trust in following his orders then Church's.

I look over at Tex as she was fixing the armored plating on one of the mud guards or whatever those things the treads were in were called. Just then a thought came to mind.

I walk over to her as she was just finishing up. "So, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought."

She stopped before turning to me. "I wouldn't say I'm mean. I just get hired to do mean things."

"Yeah, but you like it." I replied.

She only shrugged. "Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do."

I then look over to Caboose, who was watching the caves like Steve told him to. "So, let's say I paid you to kill Caboose. You would still do it, right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?"

I turn back to the freelancer to see her looking at Caboose for a few seconds before looking back at me with a curious expression. "Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers?" Her expression then went into a business-like expression.

...Okay, maybe I should stop.

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Tex shrugged before getting back to work.

"Hey, Tucker!" I heard Church yell from the cliff. Looking up, I saw him looking down at me with his usual pissed off look.

"What!?" I yelled back.

"What the hell is my body still doing up here?" He asked.

I sigh at his attitude before answering. "That's part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet."

"All right, well, let me rephrase that, then. Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?"

"Buried? With what?" I asked him before gesturing to my pistol. "All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?" I suggested sarcastically.

He growled at me before speaking. "Well then, how about shipping me back home? You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect."

I then look over at Tex, who'd stopped working to listen to us. "Well, Church, here's your girlfriend." I spoke as I turned to her. "Tex, as one of Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?"

She turned to Church for a few seconds before focusing back on her work. I smirked at the response. "That was a stirring eulogy." I spoke, holding back a laugh.

Cliff

No one's POV

Tucker, Church, and Caboose stood around the body of Church, not saying anything.

"I am not happy about this." Church finally said.

"I have an idea." Caboose said. He looked at the others who were still looking at Church's body. "I have an idea!" He said a bit louder.

Tucker gave him an annoyed look. "Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose. We were just ignoring you."

Caboose looked at the ghost with a smile. "Since you possessed that Red guy and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?"

Steve is seen in the background heading towards their location as Tucker gave the blue rookie a deadpanned look while Church's left eye twitched under his helmet. "Oh, I see. So, that way I would be living inside of my own dead body."

"Yes."

"Unable to move, just laying there rotting in the sun for all eternity."

"Yes."

"Okay, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that." Church said sarcastically.

Caboose expression dampened from the ghost's words. "I think you are a mean ghost."

Steve soon got up to where they were. "What are you all doing?"

The three of them turned to their CO. "Oh, hey Steve. Church's just complaining about us not burying his body when we don't have any shovels." Tucker told him.

Steve looked at Church's dead body before looking at Tucker with in confusion. "What do you mean you guys don't have shovels? I saw some in storage while grabbing spare ammunition."

"Wait? We actually had shovels?" Tucker said in disbelief.

The sergeant only nodded. "Yeah. How did you not see them before?"

"Yeah... we don't really do a lot around here." Tucker said in embarrassment. He then coughed a few times before waving his hand in front of his helmet. "Dude, you really stink." He said to Church.

Church only looked confused by what the aqua soldier said. "What?"

Tucker then pointed at Church's decaying corpse. "Your body. It stinks."

"Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body." The dead-man tells Tucker in anger.

"Quit your bitching." Tucker waved him off. "Nothing's going to happen to it."

"It's a freakin' indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest." Church argued.

"I thought you only stood around and talked rather then fight against the enemy?" Steve spoke.

Church went to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth as he couldn't find anyway to argue against the truth.

"Get over it. You're already dead. What's the worst that can happen now?" Tucker asked.

"Hey Church!" Caboose suddenly yelled in excitement as he was looking up. "Look, birds!" His excitement then turned to confusion. "Why are they flying around in circles?"

"Oh, God." Church moaned.

Steve glanced over at Tucker. "To answer your question Tucker: nature, that can happen."

Blood Gulch Outpost #1

"Okay, I'll go again." Grif said as he looked around the canyon. "I spy something that begins with..."

"Dirt." Simmons quickly cuts him off with a bored tone.

"Damn!" The orange soldier yells in defeat. "How did you-"

"Well, because you did rock last time." Simmons answers as he gestures the canyon with his left hand. "That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt."

Grif groaned in agreement. "Yeah, this canyon sucks.

Cliff

Back with the Blues, Steve, Church, and Tucker were watching Tex fixing the tank's main cannon. Behind the aqua soldier, Caboose is on look out with the sniper rifle.

"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?" Church suddenly asks.

"She's almost got the main gun back online. So, it shouldn't be very long." Steve answered him.

"Oh, that's just fantastic." The ghost says sarcastically, turning around as he threw his arms halfway up.

"Why would that upset you?" Tucker asked.

"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die." The dead-man informed Tucker.

"And that's a problem why?" The blue sergeant asked with a frown.

"Because as soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head." He answered.

"A.I. …" Caboose says before Church glares at him.

"Shut up, Caboose." He then turns to Tucker. "And if I don't get it out before she leaves..."

"If she leaves you won't ever find her again." The aqua soldier concludes.

"Right."

"Church." Steve speaks as the ghost looks at him. "I know you care for her and I did agree to help you rescue her from the Reds, but do you really think she'll just want to give up an A.I.? I mean, it's one thing to be outfitted with what is currently one of the most advance pieces of technology the military has, but if you combine that with an A.I., that can make someone nearly unbeatable."

"Yeah, I guess I would understand that Steve, but remember what I told you about that A.I.. When she got it, it made her extremely aggressive and dangerous to deal with. It's causes nothing but problems." He argued.

The Blue leader was silent for a bit before sighing. "Fine. But, I'm going to warn you that the UNSC isn't going to be happy when they that an A.I. has just been destroyed."

"Worth it." The ghost simply said.

"So, what are you going to do?" Tucker asked.

Church looks over at the Red base before shaking his head. "I guess I'm going to do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank."

"You're switching sides?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

"Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice." The dead-man apologized.

"So, I can call Command and report to them that you died as a traitor, so we can then burn your body?" Steve asked jokingly.

"Ha-ha, very funny Steve." Church laughed sarcastically before flipping him off. "Why don't you take your humor and shove it up your ass."

Steve only rolled his eyes as Caboose looked at Church worryingly. "Church, uh, what- what happens when the Reds come out here to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?"

The ghost only shrugged. "I'll try to help you as best I can." He soon faded out of the three's view. "Good luck, guys."

They didn't say anything before Caboose looks at Tucker. "Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?"

"I'll tell you what." Tucker turns to the blue private before jabbing his right thumb at his chest plate. "Kill me. I promise not to come back."

Steve only sighs in response to what had just occurred. "Enough you two. Keep an eye on the Red base, Caboose."

Caboose nodded before looking back at the Red outpost. Suddenly, he spotted something that stood out near the completely rebuilt Warthog. "Hey! Look at this!"

"No." The aqua soldier rejected.

"What do you see?" Steve asked.

"They have a girl." Caboose said, causing Tucker to suddenly pay attention and Steve to raise an eyebrow. "They have a girl!"

"A what?" Tucker asked, wanting to make sure he didn't mishear Caboose.

"A girl, a girl! Look, pink armor!" The blue private yelled as he pointed at the Reds' base.

"I don't see the problem." Steve simply said as Tucker threw his arms in the air.

"Oh, man!" He complained. "How come they get a girl?"

Tex, who'd stopped working on the tank, only looked up at them with a frown. "Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right?" All three look down at the black armored freelance. "And that I'm standing right here?"

"Yeah, Tex. But when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl." Tucker replied. Steve looked away from Tex to the Scorpion and saw it was in near-perfect condition. He then proceeds to make his way down the cliff trail.

"And what the hell does that mean?" She asked with a blank look, but her eyes promised pain to the aqua soldier.

Tucker and Caboose felt sweat roll down their necks from her stare. ""Nothing!"" They quickly ran out of her view.

"Tex." Steve called as he approached her. She turned to face the Blue leader as he stopped in front of her. "How long until the tank's working?" He asked.

"In a just a few minutes, I think. I just have to fix some of the electronics for the machine gun." She answered him.

They didn't say anything for a bit until Steve spoke again. "Church told me you had an A.I."

"So, what if I do?" The freelancer asked as she went back to work.

"How the hell did you get it?"

"I was given it."

This caused Steve to look at her in disbelief. "Given?" He scoffed. "Someone gave you an A.I.?"

"Yep." She simply said.

"Bullshit." The sergeant shook his head. "A.I. are very important factors for the UNSC. There's no way they would give-"

"Hey…! Tex!" Suddenly, Caboose yelled from above, causing the two to turn and see Blue rookie standing on the cliff edge. "Uh… Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?"

Steve mentally facepalms as he looks over at Tex, who was staring at him. He let out a sigh before talking. "I'm going to have a talk with Caboose." He then turned the other way and began walking towards the beginning of the trail that led up the cliff.

All Tex did was simply turn back to the tank and resumed repairing the machine gun.

Blood Gulch Outpost #1

Church's POV

I quickly ran towards the Red's base to get to the left ramp in order to possess their robot and warn them about Tex.

"Hey." I heard one of them speak.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder why were here?" I soon reached the ramp and made my way up.

"No. I never, ever, wonder why were here. Semper fi, bitch." The other bluntly replied.

The droid is standing just right of the ramp. I make my way over and jump in.

"Keegakergerk!"

It shacks around a bit before I took full control.

The marron one turns to look at me in confusion. "What? What's wrong with Lopez?" He asks the orange one.

"I don't care." The fat soldier replies.

"Hey, Lopez, uh.. you okay, man?"

"Aye, muchachos, necesito darles... un aviso..."* I stop speaking as I realize something's wrong with my voice.

I'm speaking fucking Spanish!

"¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy hablando en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!"* I shouted to myself.

"Um... Sure..." The marron guy said as he and his companion looked at each other in confusion.

I only shook my head. "¡No, no, escuchame! ¡La bruja los va a matar! ¡Ella está trabajando en el tanque!"* I warned, praying to God that they could understand something.

Cliff

Steve's POV

After having a talk with Caboose, I saw Tucker looking over the cliff edge. "Tucker, what's happening down there?"

He turned back to me. "Aw, crap. She's almost done fixing Sheila." He spoke in worry. "I better radio Church and tell him what's going on."

I nodded in agreement as Caboose suddenly perked up. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Tucker, please! Please! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker, please! Tuck-"

He looked at Caboose before looking at me. "Should we?"

I turned to Caboose before looking over at Red base and then back to Tucker. "Yeah. Let him."

Nodding, the aqua soldier turned back to Caboose. "Yes, you can be the one who radios Church."

"Thanks, man." He said gratefully before looking towards the Red's base and activated his radio.

'Radio static'

Suddenly, the blue soldier stumbled in place before correcting himself, causing me to get a little confused and concerned.

"Calling Church. Come in, Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley."

"O'Malley?" I thought to myself.

"O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose." Tucker asked, clearly as confused as me.

"I never said that, you guys did!" Caboose retorted as he turned to Tucker.

"Why didn't you correct us?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult." He then turned back towards the Reds' base while me and Tucker glanced at each other. "Come in, Private Church. Do you copy? Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified."

"What's going on with him? Why is he suddenly acting like a real soldier?" I questioned myself.

"Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness."

"Okay, that's more Caboose." I shrugged, thinking that was just some coincident.

"How is your progression?" Caboose finished. A noise, presumably Church's voice, came on inside Caboose's helmet. However, I wasn't able to hear anything because of it being muffled out. Caboose stood their for a few seconds before turning to Tucker. "...He says he wants to talk to you."

Suddenly, we heard a new voice over the cliff edge. "Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."

Me and Tucker looked at each other before making our way over to the edge. There we see the Scorpion now online with no signs of anymore damage.

"Oh, shit. We got trouble." Tucker tells me.

I nod in response. "Yeah." I then walk over to where Caboose is and reach for my radio. "I've got to warn Church."

Blood Gulch Outpost #1

No one's POV

"Un tanque… grrrande!"* Church, still possessing Lopez's body, specks slowly, trying to get Grif and Simmons to understand the warning.

"Hey, I think if you're going to live in this country, you should speak the language." Grif says as he crosses his arms.

"Target locked."

Simmons looks over to the fat soldier. "What country? We're on an alien planet."

"What are you, a communist?" Grif asks.

Church was about to try again when his radio came alive. "Church! Get out of there! Now!"

Before he could respond, Tex fired a shot at the ground in front of the base.

'BBBOOOMMM!'

"Son of a bitch!"

"Son of a bitch!"

"¡MADRE DE DIOS!"* Church, Simmons, and Grif yelled.

Cliff

Tucker and Caboose looked at Steve, who was watching what was going on with the sniper rifle.

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle." Tucker asked in annoyance.

'BBOOMM!'

"Church is getting mad at us, isn't he?" Caboose asked.

Steve nodded as he continued to watch. "Yeah, pretty much."

'BBOOMM!'

Tucker looked at the scene before nodding. "Ohhhhh. Well, that's a nice change of pace."

Red Base

Sarge ran to the Warthog before jumping in the driver's seat. "Simmons! I'm comin' around in the Warthog!" He then took off to the left side of the base. "Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by." He ordered.

"Roger that." Simmons replies before shutting off his radio as he and Grif hid on the left ramp.

'BBOOMM!'

Grif looked at Simmons before looking at the bottom of the ramp then back to Simmons. "I'll uh... I'll stay here."

"Yeah, stay here and guard this cement ramp. It's vital to our success." The marron soldier said sarcastically.

Just then, Sarge appeared outside with the Warthog with the back at the bottom of the ramp, allowing Simmons to quickly jump on. "All right, I'm on board." In informed Sarge.

Sarge then floored it and the two raced out to battle. "All right, here's the plan-"

'BBOOMM!'

"Junebug!" They didn't get a few feet from the base before the tank shot that Warthog, blowing it up. The explosion threw Sarge and Simmons from the vehicle.

"Gah!" Once they hit the ground, the two got back on their feet and ran back to the ramp Grif was at.

Upon joining him, Grif looked at them with a smirk under his helmet. "Wow, back so soon? Did you guys win the war already?"

'BBOOMM!'

As the tank kept firing at the base, Simmons looked at his superior officer. "Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge?"

He only growled in irritation. "If we survive this, I'm going to kill both of ya." He threatened. "Slowly."

'BBOOMM!'

Grif then kneeled so he was ear leveled with Simmons. "Hey, Simmons? By the way, the ramp is secure."

Under his helmet, Simmons' right eye twitched.

"Target locked."

'BBOOMM!'

Sheila kept up the assault on the Reds' as Steve, Tucker, and Caboose watched from above.

At the Red outpost, Donut came up the right ramp, alarmed by the sudden explosions. "Hey! What are you guys doing up here?"

Grif popped up from the other ramp. "That chick in the black armor's back!"

'BBOOMM!'

"What chick?" The pi- I mean, light red soldier asked. "The one that stuck the grenade to my head?"

"That's the one." Simmons answered.

"The same chick who's fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?" He asked again, this time clenching his fists in anger.

'BBOOMM!'

The orange soldier only sighed at the pink soldier's stubbornness. "Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity,-"

'BBOOMM!'

"But really, dude... it's a whole lot faster just to say pink."

Donut ignored him as he turned to look at the tank in the distance, a grin on his face showing his desire for revenge. "Ohho...! Oh, I've been waiting for this." He then ran to the front of the roof near where Church was taking cover at. As he did, he pulled out a plasma grenade and activated it. "Hey, bitch! Remember me! I saved something for ya!" He then drew his left arm back and threw the grenade high into the air.

Grif, Simmons, and Church watched as the plasma grenade arced through the air towards Tex in silence, astonished by what they were seeing.

The three blue soldiers on the cliff watched as it began to come down before Tucker finally broke the silence. "Man, that girl's got a really good arm."

"It's like Dude Perfect." Steve agreed, wide-eyed by incredible toss.

Tex was about to fire again when suddenly, the grenade past the driver canopy's bars and stuck itself to her chest. "Aw, CRAP!"

"Oh, son of a bitch." Steve said quietly, knowing Church was going to be devastated.

"Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore!" Donut cheered, his voice echoing across the canyon.

'BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!'

The grenade blew up, blasting the canopy off, destroying the driver cockpit, and throwing Tex out onto the left of it.

"¡Dios mío, no!"* Church yells in horror before jumping off the roof and lands on the ground, immediately taking off towards Tex. "¡Tejas, Tejas!"*

Grif, Simmons, and Sarge watched him, not realizing it was their droid in control. "Uh, where's Lopez going?" Grif asked.

"To fight the enemy head on in hand-to-hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre." Sarge said with a voice filled with pride for his creation. "Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing: You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios." He then brings his right arm up and salutes Lopez.

Simmons then looks at the Red sergeant. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"Naw..." Sarge shakes his head. "That would just ruin the moment."

With the Blues

Steve slide down the side of the cliff until he reached the bottom before running to the left side of the tank. Once he saw Tex, he stopped. "Good God..."

She was a mess. Most of the armor on the right side of her body was blow completely off. It was a different story for her right arm, or rather the lack of her right arm. It was blown off and blood ran out of where the arm once connected to her shoulder.

Her skin was nearly burned off, mainly around the chest. So much was gone that Steve could see some ribs poking out.

Her helmet's visor was completely shattered and most of the shards had embedded themselves into her face. One large shard in particular had penetrated her right eye.

"Tex..." The Blue leader said quietly, horrified by the freelancer's state. Just then, Church, still in Lopez's body, came running in and stopped at her left side. Steve looked at the brown robot as Church looked at him. Steve shook his head, telling him that nothing could save her.

"Church..." Suddenly, Tex weakly spoke. The two look at her and saw her right eye barely open looking at the possessed robot. "Is... that you?"

The bot nodded and she let out a sigh of relief. "It-... it's gone, Church..." The possessed robot quickly kneeled beside her and grabbed her left hand with both of his. "The A.I-"

She suddenly coughed a few times, blood coming out with each one. She took a few last deep breaths before speaking one more time. "It's gone." He remaining eye began to close as it lost any sign of life and her remaining arm started to go limp. "Thank... you..." Letting out a sigh, her hand slipped out Church's grasp.

Church just stared at Tex while Steve closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Tex was gone.

They didn't say anything for a minute before Steve looked at Church. "...I'll leave you here with her for a bit. If you want to carry her back to base, I'll let you. I'm going to get your body."

Church didn't say anything, but he silently nodded.

Cliff

Tucker watched the scene while Caboose was leaning against the canyon wall with his right arm on it to keep balance.

"Crap. Church is going to be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our asses." Tucker said, fearful of what Church was going to do to them once they got back to base.

Suddenly, his radio blared into life as Steve's voice came on. "Tucker... we're heading back to base. I'm going to take Church's body back while he takes Tex's. Once we get there, we're getting the shovels and bury them."

"Do we really-" He was about to complain before Steve interrupted him. "Tucker, I will not accept no as an answer soldier. Now get moving or else you're digging by yourself."

Sighing in defeat, he responded. "Yes sir." He then spoke to Caboose. "Come on, Caboose, let's get back to base."

"I told you, my name isn't Caboose." The blue rookie said before standing up straight and turned towards Tucker's back. "My name... is... O'Malley..."

And that concludes chapter 4! First, let's go to the translation for the Spanish lines that were spoken.

1. "Then I'd say, 'You don't weigh anymore, I'll weight more.' Then we put our bodies on the scale and determined who had the greatest weight. After that, I called myself Lopez the Heavy."

2. "Hey, guys, I need to give... you a... warning..."

3. "What? Why am I speaking in Spanish? I can't speak Spanish!"

4. "No, no, listen to me! The mean women is going to kill you! She's fixing the tank!"

5. "A large... tank!"

6. "MOTHER OF GOD!"

7. "Oh, my God, no!"

8. "Texas, Texas!"

Well, all I can say is, Donut is one hell of a grenadier. Sadly, that was bad news for Tex, but at least she doesn't have to deal with the A.I. now that she and it are dead.

Or are they.

With that, NexusLight out!

Update: 5/11/2019 - Edited a bit.