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Episode 6: Warthog Run
Outside Blue Base
No one's POV
The firefight that erupted so quickly came to a sudden end. As Steve made his way over to Church and Tucker, Sarge began to address the cobalt soldier.
"We are giving you a chance to surrender!" The red leader yelled.
Grif only groaned at this. "There's no way this bluff is gonna work."
"Put a cork in it, Fast Eddie." Sarge ordered him before looking back at who he thinks is the Blue's leader. "There's positively no way they know we're outta ammo."
Cut to the Blues
"Yeah, they're definitely outta ammo..." Church concludes before looking at Sarge. "What're your-"
"BAM!'
"OW!" Church couldn't finish as his CO delivered a strong blow to the side of his helmet, knocking him to the ground. "What the fuck Steve!?"
"Shooting teammates will not go unpunished, Church! Being an asshole is one thing, but shooting your fellow soldier is another." Steve warns him.
"Hey!" Sarge yelled causing the Blues to look at him. "You can't go around punching a superior officer! Even if he's a no good, dirty Blue!"
Steve and Church looked at each other before Steve turned back to Sarge. "No, he's not the CO here! I am!"
Back with Sarge and the other Reds, they looked at each other in surprise that their enemies had a new commanding officer.
"Grif! I thought I sent you out to gather any information on Blue's new soldier." Sarge told the orange soldier.
Grif look surprised as well, but for a different reason. "You sent me up on the cliff to spy on them? I just go up there to nap."
"GGRRRRRR!" Sarge growled at the lazy bastard. He decided to wait on that before turning back towards the newly discovered Blue CO. "If you are their CO, then state your rank, son!"
"I am Sergeant Steven Walker, recently appointed commanding officer of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha! What are your terms!?" Steve yelled back.
"Their what?" Tucker asked.
Cut to the Reds
"Our what?" Grif asked in confusion.
Simmons only sighed. "I can't believe this is actually working. Nor can I believe they have an sergeant." He then looked at his CO. "See if we can get Lopez back, Sarge."
"Oh yeah. 'Cause then he can fix the Warthog." Grif realized.
"Ooh, ooh," Donut jumped in. "Sarge - tell them we want our flag back."
"Yeah, and some cake!" Grif suggested, obviously hungry.
"Ooh... Wait, wait, Sarge, just the cake."
"Alright, Blues! First off! We want our flag and our mechanized droid guy back!" Sarge demanded.
"Uh oh." Church says to himself.
"You may know him as Señor El Roboto!" Sarge finished.
Cut to the Blues
"Well, Church, what's it gonna be?" Tucker asked.
"Chingado*, no way. I'm not giving back my body. I just got this thing." Church refused.
"Relax. I have an idea." Steve reassured him, despite still being pissed at Church.
"And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!" Sarge added.
Before Steve could reply, Church spoke up. "Uh… Uh, he's not here anymore!"
"Yeah, he left! He was all like 'Sayonara!' and then he just took off!" Tucker backed him up.
Steve and Church gave him deadpanned expressions. "That's not Spanish you idiot, that's French." Church attempted to correct him.
"That's Japanese, bolt head." Steve corrected Church as he looked at Doc. "Hey Doc."
"Yeah?" He asked.
"I'm going to send you and their flag over to the Reds to act as a hostage. Once you're back at their base, tell them why your here and you can leave." Steve told him. "Okay?"
"Hmm..." Doc thought for a moment before nodding. "Sounds like a plan."
Nodding back, Steve turned back to the Reds. "How about a medic?! Can you take a medic as a hostage?!"
Cut to the Reds
"Meh," The marron soldier shrugs. "That sounds pretty good to me."
"I don't know, I think we can hold out for more." Grif suggested.
"We don't have any bullets, dumbass." Simmons reminded him.
"Oh, right." Grif remembered. "Take the medic. The medic's a good deal."
Back with the Blues
Steve then turned to Church. "Church, go grab he Red's flag."
"Right." He complied before running into the base.
Just then, Caboose limps over to them. Steve looks at his left foot before looking at Doc. "How's he doing, Doc?"
"Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive." The purple medic informs him.
"He's talking about Caboose, right?" Tucker asked Steve.
"Actually, I mean his toe. How's the toe Church shot?" The sergeant asked again.
"What, that thing? That fell off like half an hour ago. Luckily, not a lot of blood was lost." He updated. "By the way, thanks for the advice. Normally I would have just rubbed his neck in aloe vera."
Steve nodded with a baffled expression as Caboose sniffled a little. "Rest in peace, pinkie toe..." Suddenly, he looked up and clenched his hands. "You shall be avenged!"
Just then, Church came out with the Red's flag and looks at Doc. "Alright, here you go." Doc nods back before taking it in his hands.
Steve nods before directing his attention back to the Reds. "Okay! We're gonna send over our medic!" Suddenly, he got an idea. "Now what do we get?!"
Church, Tucker and Caboose looked at their CO in confusion before two of them realized what he was doing. "You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" Simmons yelled.
"We've already got that!" Tucker replied. "What else do you have?!"
"What do you want?! Sarge asked.
"How about if you admit that the Red Team sucks?!" Church suggested as Tucker grinned and Steve held back his.
The Reds turn to each other and mutter suggestions for a few seconds before Sarge nodded and turned back to them.
"What if we admit that one of us sucks?!" He asked.
"NICE." Grif smirks before thinking about the possible candidates and began to worry. "Wait, you mean Donut, right?"
Timeskip
"Okay!" Steve yelled to the Reds. "We agree to the terms?!" The Reds, apart from one, all nodded. "You first, and then we send over the medic!"
Sarge then looked at Grif with a grin. "Get on with it, Grif."
Letting out a grunted sigh, he began. "I would just like to let everyone know… that I suck!"
"And?!" Church yelled as Steve activated his helmet's camera.
"And that I'm a girl!"
"What else!?"
"And I like ribbons in my hair! And I want to kiss all the boys!"
"This may be the best surrender of all time." Sarge tells Simmons with a smile.
Simmons nodded as he turned to the Blues. "Okay, is that good enough?!"
"Yeah!" Steve yells. He then turns to Doc. "Alright, go ahead Doc."
Doc faces the Reds and runs towards them, stopping in front of Grif.
"Man, I really hope you're worth this." The orange soldier groans.
"Can I ask you a question?" Doc asks. "Do they put something in the water here?"
Grif only raises an eyebrow. "Water? We ran outta water six months ago."
"No water..." Doc says in surprise. "Then what do you drink?"
"Uh, you know, ketchup, uh, soy sauce, gravy, the usual." Grif list down as Sarge walks forwards.
"I only drink the blood of my enemies." Sarge bluntly tells him. "...And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo."
Blood Gulch Outpost #1
Timeskip
"Grif! Yer supposed to be watching the prisoner, not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!" Sarge yelled at Grif, interrupting his talk with Doc.
"Come on Sarge, he doesn't even have a gun." Grif argues. Doc reminds himself not to reveal the fact that his scanner is an alien pistol.
"Oh, well you two will be great friends then." Simmons suggests to the orange soldier. "He doesn't have a gun, and you didn't bring any ammo!"
"Hey thanks, kiss-ass. If I wanna take guarding tips from the guy that lost our last prisoner, I'll be sure to ask you." The orange soldier retorts.
'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Suddenly, the sound of air horns and cheering erupt from nowhere.
"Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned." Donut told the marron soldier.
"Oh, shut up, your armor's pink." Simmons growled at the light-red soldier. "Wait... where's that noise coming from?"
"Oh." Grif said before pressing a button on his helmet as everyone looked at him. "Sorry. I was watching some SovietWomble CS:GO Bullshittery inside my helmet." He apologized.
"Uh, hey, guys? I-I just want everybody to know that Grif and I aren't, uh, technically friends… uh, we're just talking. That's it." Doc tried to ease the situation before looking at the fat soldier, who stared at him in disbelief. "Sorry, man, but it's pretty obvious that you're really unpopular, and if I'm gonna make any progress around here at all I can't really be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand." The medic explains to Grif.
"..." Grif doesn't speak.
Doc begins to feel sweat on his neck. "It's only because no one likes you."
"..." Grif still gives him the look of being betrayed.
"Stop staring at me."
Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha
Steve's POV
"Hehehehe…" Laughing to myself, I continue to watch the videos of SovietWomble and the ZF Clan fucking up and failing in that old computer game Counter Strike: Global Offensive. I set my iPad aside before looking back to my dismantled magnum and proceed to put it back together. "It's a good thing that this team isn't like the ZF Clan..."
I remaind silent as I finish rebuilding the pistol, having an odd feeling come over me that what I said was somehow complete bullshit. Taking the clip, I load it into the gun.
'CLICK!'
Hearing the clip lock into the pistol, I switch on the safety before attaching it to my right side. "Right, time to see what the others are doing." I stand up and head out of my living quarters.
As I make my way down the hall, I pass one of the openings to where we keep the flag and as I almost leave it exits my sights, I thought I someone walk in from the opposite entrance. I was about to turn back and check it before I heard someone talking from the back of the base.
"Celsius, Tucker." I heard Church.
"Oh, come on, dude, Celsius sucks." The voice of Tucker talks back.
"What are those two doing out there?" I thought before heading out back. When I reached the back entrance, I saw...
...Tucker kneeling in front of Church...
"Hey, I found something." Tucker told the robot.
"Oh yeah? You found a-" Church stopped upon seeing me looking at them.
"..."
"..."
"Church what's- Oh..." Tucker asked before looking towards me and stopping. We all stare at each other for a few minutes.
"...Oooookay… Am I... Am I interrupting something?" I gingerly say.
"What?" Church says before shaking his head rapidly. "Nononono! It's nothing like that!"
Tucker nods in the same manner. "We were looking for a way for Church to activate his bodies repair sequence since it's the Reds' repair droid!" The aqua soldier says hastily.
I blink a few times before realizing what they meant. "Oh, that way we can repair Shelia, right?" They nod, mainly in relief that the misunderstanding was cleared away. "Good thinking. I'll see if I can help." I tell them before making my way over to them.
"Thanks." Church said before looking back a Tucker. "So, what? Did you find a button?" He asked as I crouched next to the aqua soldier.
Tucker shook his head. "Naw dude, it's more like a …switch." He replies. I look at where he's looking at see a small switch on the... cod piece."
"Well, give it a flip." The blue bot tells him.
Tucker only shakes his head as we stand up. "I don't wanna flip it."
"...What's the problem?" Church asks, his voice telling he's hoping it isn't where he thinks it is. Well, sadly, he's going to be disappointed.
"Take a guess where it is?" I tell him.
"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Church says in disbelief.
"Sadly," I tell him. "We're not."
"You flip it." Tucker suggests.
"These arms aren't that flexible," The robot says as he shows his left arm, gesturing to all the hydraulics and wires that can be seen. "I can't even reach down there."
"What about Caboose?" Tucker suggest again, trying to avoid feeling awkward about flipping Church's 'switch.'
The bot only sighs through his air vents. "Oh man, he's so stupid, I don't even know if he knows how to operate a switch."
"Back off Church." I defended the blue private.
"Oh man..." Tucker groaned.
"C'm-Tucker, come on." Church begs. "We'll laugh about it later. I'll buy you dinner."
"I'm sure you would." I said, wanting to screw around with the possessed robot. "Though I don't know of any restaurants that serve motor oil."
Church let out a sigh at my joke. "You know Steve, I really wish this body was build laser eyes. That's the only way I can think of that will stop your shit humor."
"Life sucks bitch." I told him with a grin as he groans in agreement.
Tucker sighs before crouching back down before grabbing the switch and attempts to pull it towards him. He stops and stands back up. "It won't move, it's stuck."
"Did you try wiggling it?" Church suggests as Tucker shivers.
"No way, I'm not wiggling your dongle." Tucker rejects.
"Oh, stop being a baby." Church tells him. "Just wiggle it."
Groaning, Tucker gets back on his left knee and tries again.
"...So, you from around here, baby?" Church asks jokingly after a few seconds.
Tucker immediately stands back up. "Okay look, if you want me to do this, you can't talk like that." He tells the cobalt robot with in irritation and embarrassment.
"Alright, alright, alright, alright, I'm sorry, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding." Church apologizes.
"I wish Tex was here, she wouldn't have any problem flipping it." Tucker said.
Church only shook his head. "You obviously did not know Tex that well."
"I think she would say that it's no bigger then it was before." I said.
Church didn't say anything for a bit before looking at me. "Shut up." He told me, finally realizing what I meant. I chuckled a little before making an L with my right hand and brought it to my head. While I was joking around with Church, Tucker had gotten back to the switch.
'CLICK!'
"There!" The aqua soldier cheered before me and him looked at Church. "Anything?"
"Nope. Nothin'." Church replied with a shrug before he suddenly started looking around. "That's kinda weird. Do you guys hear something beeping?"
Cut to the Reds
No one's POV
Back with the Reds, the beeping sound that Church was hearing slowly begins to fade in, although the sound couldn't be heard by anyone.
"Are there any ideas on what to do with the prisoner?" Sarge asked Simmons and Donut.
Simmons looked over to Grif and Doc before looking back at their leader. "Well, we have to get him away from Grif, because ...yeah, you know, it's kinda cruel and unusual to have to talk to him." The marron soldier suggested.
"How 'bout we, um, let him trade armor with uh, one of us? That would show him." Donut asked, wanting to obviously get out of his pink armor.
"Warthog online." The headlights flashed as a warbled and slurred robotic voice came out of the vehicle, drawing everyone's attention. "Homing beacon activated." The headlights flashed again and remain on as the voice is now up to speed.
Everyone blinked in surprise and confusion. "Sarge, d-d-did the car just talk?" Donut asked.
"Uh-oh." Sarge said with a bit of sweat running down is neck.
Simmons turned to Sarge. "Okay, I get it. You built a remote control for the jeep into Lopez." He figured.
"Yep." Sarge nodded. "But there's no way anyone could have found out how to turn it on. I hid it in a place no one would ever look. Unless..." He turned to Donut, Grif and Simmons following his gaze. "Hey, Pretty-in-Pink, were you messin' with my robot?" He accused.
"What're you asking me for?" The light-red soldier asked with a frown.
Grif then gave Sarge a worried look. "So someone else controls the jeep right now? And the big gun attached to it?" He points to the machine gun mounted on the back of the Warthog.
The Red leader only scoffed at the fat soldier's worry. "Oh, get a pair, you bunch o' Barbies." He then turns back to the active Warthog without any fear. "Even if they've figured out how to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it. Only me and my diary know that."
Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha
Back with the Blues, everyone was now on the roof of the base with Steve, Tucker, and Caboose facing Church.
"There, you hear that?" The blue bot asked.
Everyone except Tucker shook their heads. "Is it like a screaming, high pitched whistling noise followed by a series of random clicks?"
"No, it's just like this constant 'beep-beep-beep' noise." Church told the aqua soldier.
"Oh." Tucker said before shaking his head. "Then no, I don't hear anything."
Steve looked at Tucker with confusion. "Do you actually hear what you said?"
He only shook his head. "No, I was just tryin' to be helpful." Tucker shrugged.
"Yeah, well, you're failing." Church deadpanned.
"All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us." Caboose suddenly said. The others just turned and gave confused looks. "Wait, you guys don't hear that?" The blue soldier asked.
"Caboose... I'm going to have to get a professional to talk to you sometime." Steve said.
"Oh man, I can't take this any more." Church complained before looking at Tucker and Steve. "Guys, you're gonna have to do something, this beeping is going to drive me crazy."
The camera then turns towards Red Base as Church's words 'going to drive me crazy... drive me crazy...' echoes in the background.
Red Base
Suddenly, the lights flash on the Warthog with a series of beeps. "Drive."
The Reds' eyes widen in fear upon hearing the robotic voice. "Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code." Sarge said as the Warthog began to move. "Those dern windtalkers."
The Warthog continues driving, heading straight towards Doc.
"Whoa!" The purple medic tries to turn and run, but the 4x4 quickly hits him, knocking him into the air. He quickly falls and by dumb luck or something, lands right in the driver's seat as it speeds off.
"Hey, he's taking the jeep!" Donut yells as he points at the remote-controlled vehicle, clearly not understanding the situation.
"Help, this jeep is kidnapping me!" Doc yelled as the car sped away from the base.
"Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing." Donut mistakes.
Sighing, Simmons turned to his father-like figure. "Hey, Sarge, new rule." Sarge didn't face him as the he and the others watched their light recon vehicle head to the middle of the canyon with its purple hostage. "How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it."
Blue Base
As that was going on at Red Base, back at Blue Base, Caboose is currently kneeling in front of Church.
"I see a switch down here." Caboose tells the others. "It's not very big." He whispers loudly.
"Sure is, isn't it." Steve says as Church looks at him annoyed. "Just put it back in its opposite position."
Caboose moves his right hand towards the switch. "Wait, stop." Church suddenly tells Caboose.
In the background, the Warthog makes another series of beeps. "Stop." The light armored vehicle quickly stops on that command.
"Caboose... do you know how to work a switch?" Church asks.
Rolling his eyes, Steve scoffs. "Church, Caboose may have trouble with doing somethings, but I don't think that-" He then looked at the blue soldier and stopped.
"Uhhhhhhh..." Caboose hummed in confusion.
This causes the sergeant's right eye to twitch a bit. "Are you kidding me...?"
Church only sighs in disbelief that the soldier was this stupid. "Alright. Here's a full tutorial then. The switch is pointed in one direction, just turn it around so that it's pointed in the other direction."
"Turn around." In the background, the Warthog makes a right U-turn and stops once it's pointed back at the Red Base.
Caboose nods before grabbing the switch with his right hand.
'Snap!'
Suddenly, it snaps off when Caboose pushes the lever forwards. "Oops! It broke itself." Caboose says as the sound of electricity is heard.
"Ugh!" Church groans in frustration. Steve only face palms along with Tucker.
Red Base
The Warthog stops upon completing its turn and is now facing the red soldiers.
"Oh man, what now?" Doc asks, wanting this to be over.
The Reds see the jeep pointing directly at them. "That does not look good." Grif murmurs as he holds up his hands in front of him. "Nice kitty, nice kitty." Donut slowly begins to back up towards the base's front entrance.
Blue Base
Back with the Blues, Steve and Tucker are crouching in front of the cobalt robot, trying to find a way to turn of the beacon.
"Okay, I see two wires down here. One's green, the other one's red." Tucker points out to Steve, who nods.
"What about the blue one?" Caboose points at Steve's thumb.
"That's just my thumb, Caboose." The Blue CO tells him.
"Come on, guys, just grab whichever one goes to the switch, and yank it out." Church tells them, wanting it to be over quickly.
Tucker tries to see where one of the wire went through the other mechanical bit. "Eh, I can't tell which one goes over there."
"Then just yank 'em both." Church suggested.
"Look Church, it's not that simple because if we just pull these two out, who knows what kind of damage it's going to do. This requires precision and care." Steve tells the possessed droid before getting back to work.
"But what it you pull the wrong one?" Caboose asks before looking at Church. "...You could explode."
"I don't care, look, just follow the red one." Church tells them.
Red Base
Another series of beeps is heard as the Warthog turns its wheels towards Sarge. "Acquire target: red."
Everyone turns to Sarge who freezes in place before Grif spoke. "Uh, Sarge, y-you, you may wanna start running." Simmons starts backing towards the other side of the base while Donut continues backing into the front entrance. "Now." Grif finishes before backing the same way his marron friend went.
Sarge only gulps. "Ahhhhh, fudge pumps."
Blue Base
"Okay, I see what's going on here." Tucker says as he points at the red wire. "The red one goes close to the switch," Steve nods as the aqua soldier's figure moves over to the green wire. "And the green one goes.. eugh, someplace else."
"Fine, just pull it. Take out the red one." Church tells them.
Red Base
The Warthog charges at Sarge, who's too slow to react.
'BAM!'
"Gyah!" He cries as the vehicle rams him into the side of the base.
'BBAAMM!'
"Oh, I'm pinned!" He yells as he attempts to push the vehicle away from him to no result.
Just then, another series of beeps signals a new order. "Eliminate red target." The mounted machine gun starts firing at the right of the Red leader before slowly moving towards his head.
"It's gonna kill him!" Grif yells as the other watch and... well... do nothing to stop it.
The man only let out a sigh. "What a way to go. Killed by my own mechanical creations." He then looks at his soldiers. "I'm sure there's a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this."
"Something about the dangers of technology and the unwavering pride of mankind?" Simmons asked. Sarge only shook his head.
"No, something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around watching you die!" He yelled.
Simmons looked at the others. "Okay, we gotta do something here guys."
"You're right." Donut agreed. "I got dibs on Sarge's armor."
Blue Base
Tucker is now the only one crouching in front of Church as Steve and Caboose watch them. "Okay, Church, you ready? I'm gonna yank the wire."
Red Base
"Grif," Sarge grunts out as the machine gun fire gets closer to his head. "If you see Lopez, tell him I forgive him. Tell him.. he was like a son to me."
"I thought Simmons was like a son to you?" Grif asked.
"No offense, Simmons. Lopez and I just.. understood each other better." Sarge apologizes.
The marron soldier only looked at him in disbelief. "Understood? He refused to speak English!"
"Yeah, and he ran away the first chance he got." Grif joined in.
"And now he's trying to kill you with a remote control jeep." Simmons added.
The sergeant only leaned his head back, ready to accept his fate. "Ahhhh, what a little rascal."
Blue Base
"Alright, here goes nothin'. One... Two... Three!" Tucker yells as he pulled the red wire before a small electrical sound is heard. In Church's head, the beeping subsides.
"Oh god, yes!" Church cheers in relief. "Finally! Some freakin' peace and quiet! I thought that was gonna drive me nuts!" He the attempts to move, only for nothing to happen. "...Hey. Why can't I move my legs?"
"Well, shit." Steve curses.
Red Base
Before the gun fire could reach Sarge's head, the Warthog beeps again. "Signal lost..." The robotic voice slows as the jeep powers down, stopping the machine gun.
Everyone breaths out in relief before Grif looks at their still pinned leader. "Wow, that was a close one. Are you okay, Sarge?"
Sarge only looks blankly on at the sky. "Ah, horse puckey, I'm fine. Although I do have to admit, maybe a little bit disappointed."
"It's okay, sir. I know that you said a lot of things that you didn't mean. People say crazy stuff when they're faced with their own mortality." Simmons accepts, think Sarge was apologizing to him.
"It's not that." Sarge shakes his head. "I just felt like I could have taken him."
"Taken who? The machine gun?" The fat soldier asks.
The Red sergeant nods. "Oh he was a worthy opponent to be sure, but right at the end there he was beginning to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor, if you will."
Grif only looks baffled. "What? You can't fight a machine gun."
"Yeah, Sarge." Donut agrees. "I know you're tough and all, but it is kinda hard to beat up hundreds of armor piercing bullets using only your face."
"And yet, he surrendered." Sarge points out.
Doc, no longer in shock from the experience, turned to Grif and Simmons. "Guys, guys, it's okay, I've seen this before. Sarge just lived through a very traumatic ordeal. We all have ways of coping with the stress." He reassures.
Grif looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "Oh yeah? How do you deal with it?"
"Oh I have my own system that works pretty well for me." He tells them before looking at his crotch. "...By the way, the driver seat of the jeep is gonna need a thorough cleaning."
Blue Base
Steve's POV
"This is great, this is just great! Thanks a lot, Caboose." Church yells at the blue soldier. "Now what'm I supposed to do? My lower half is damaged."
"Church, calm down. Something must have happened when Tucker pulled that wire." I told the paralyzed robot.
"Why don't you try walking it off?" Caboose suggests.
Church only get's more irritated. "I can't use my legs, moron." He gestures to his legs.
"Oh, I see. ...Have you tried running?"
"This doesn't seem like that big a deal. You hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides." Tucker tells him, frowning as he remembered all those time Church made him carry him.
"Hey, I already told you: that was for science." Church informed him.
"No it wasn't, you asshole." I told him. "That was you trying to break Tucker's back because you weigh a lot."
Church only scoffed. "Why are you siding with him? You carried me, only you were actually able to carry me on your shoulder."
The three of us continued to argue as Caboose talked about Church walking on his hands and using his feet for high fives and eating and all that shit.
Red Base
No one's POV
"Hey, Doc, although I'm sure Sarge enjoys having his spine pulverized into dust, maybe you should go ahead and back up the Warthog." Simmons orders the purple medic.
Realizing that their sergeant was still pinned, Doc began fiddled around with the gear shift. "Oh, right. Sorry." He then pressed the accelerator pedal, but instead of going back, the Warthog drove into Sarge.
'BAM!'
"Oh, hot buttered lug nuts!" He cried in pain.
"Ooo..., geez, I'm really sorry." Doc apologized before moving the gear shift again. "I-I just was in the wrong gear, let me just..." He then pressed the pedal again, only for the same result.
'BAM!'
"Yoh, geez!" Sarge yelled as he put hunched over on the jeep's hood. "There goes mah last kidney! I was saving that one for a special occasion."
The medic looked at Simmons, who was starting to get angry. "Third time's a charm?"
The marron soldier shook his head. "I don't think so, Poindexter. Outta the jeep now!" He ordered.
"I'm really sorry guys. I was only trying to help. Really!" Doc apologized, lowering his head.
"Oh, is that all? I for one was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our sergeant by ramming him over and over with a six thousand pound steel death machine. Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, please continue." Grif said sarcastically.
"..." Doc looked at Sarge before looking back at the two privates. "...Really?"
""Get out!""
Blue Base
Steve's POV
"Well just start reattaching wires, I'll tell you when I feel something." Church told Tucker as the aqua soldier was attempting to get his legs working.
"What about that? Do you feel that, Church?" Tucker asked as he fiddled around a little.
"No, what're you doing?" The possessed bot asked. "I don't feel anything."
"Oh, Church? You know, I was thinkin'. …Uh, yih-yih, ya know, when you, when you eat ice cream too fast sometimes and it hurts your brain?" Caboose asked out of no where.
"Caboose, not now. Were trying to fix Church." I told him.
Caboose nods before he looks back at Church before he suddenly starts speaking again. "Uhhhh... Church? I think that you should know that the Reds are-"
"Reds?" I thought to myself before looking at the front of the base and indeed, two of the Reds, the orange one and the marron one, were heading towards us with Doc. Before I could talk though, Church began to yell at Caboose.
"Dammit, Caboose! In the short time I've known you, you've managed to call my girlfriend a slut, blow me up with a tank, and now paralyze me from the waist down! So I hope it's not too much for me to ask, just for once, if you'd shut yer freakin' mouth!"
"Hey, Blues, we're here to- What the hell are you guys doing!?" The marron one begins before seeing Tucker and Church.
"This is going to be awkward..." I think to myself as I bring my left hand to my visor and shake my head.
That's a wrap. So, how will things go next time?
1 - "Screw that!"
Anyways, NexusLight out!