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Disclaimer: I own only the OC. Red vs. Blue is owned by Rooster Teeth
Episode 7: Romance Robótico
Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha
Steve's POV
"What the hell are you guys doing!?" The maroon soldier yells as he looks at Church and Tucker. This is... well... to say the least, awkward.
Tucker immediately stands up. "Aw crap, the Reds are here." He informs Church.
Church turns to Caboose. "What? Caboose, why didn't you say anything?" He asked before he tries to look behind him, but fails. "Hey. One of you guys turn me around. I still can't move my legs."
"What were you doing down there?" The orange one asks, bewildered by what he saw.
"Nothing." Tucker tries to play it off. "What're you talking about?"
"We were just playing a game!" Caboose shouts.
"Hey, Caboose, we'll handle this." Church tells as I draw out my magnum.
"What in the hell is going on at this base?" The orange one asks again as I walk to the edge and point my gun at him. "W-Whoa! Easy there. No need to-"
"State you're business or I'll start firing." I warn them as they back away a bit.
The maroon soldier then walks forwards a bit with his hands in front of him. "Whoa-whoa-whoa, calm down guys. We didn't come here to fight. We just came to give back the prisoner." He gestures to Doc, who waves a bit.
"Give him back?" Tucker states in disbelief. "You can't give him back, you took him, a deal's a deal."
"And you have your flag." I threw in as I turned my aim at the maroon soldier.
"Yeah, well forget it. We don't want him." Cubby told us.
"Well, sorry, you can't have another prisoner. That was our last one." The broken droid told them, his back still facing them.
"Didn't your mama ever tell you it's impolite not to look at someone when you're talking to them?" Maroon asked. I roll my eyes before pulling the trigger.
'BAM!'
"Gyah! Son of a bitch!"
The shot hit the ground in front of the maroon soldier, making him shout as he jumped back a bit.
Before I could say anything, Caboose shouted from behind me. "He's shy!"
"Shut up." Church told him sternly before addressing the Reds. "Look, we don't want him back, and we don't care what you do with him. Now if you don't mind, we'd appreciate if you'd leave us alone. We're in the middle of somethin'... kinda private over here." He told them, not wanting to tell them anything unusual.
The orange one only sighed as he shook his head. "That's sad. He is shy."
"Fine, but don't come asking for him back later." The maroon soldier told us before looking at me. "Wait, how about we trade for that energy shield your sergeant has?"
'BAM!'
"Fuck!" The orange one shouted as I fired another warning shot. "Okay! Okay! We're leaving, asshole!" He yelled as they walked back towards Red Base.
With the Reds
Grif's POV
Me, Simmons, and this useless medic ran over the hill, out of the Blue's sergeant's aim. I begin panting while the other to weren't even out of breath.
"God... damn... it..." I say in between breaths before getting my composer together. "Man, I thought our team was obnoxious, but those guys are really rude. Even their sergeant is more trigger happy then Sarge is." I tell Simmons.
"If he was as trigger happy, then both of us would be dead, idiot." Simmons tells me. "He can throw that shield of his with god-like accuracy. If his aim is that good, he could have put a bullet in our heads at any second."
I frown upon hearing what he said. "Shield? Simmons, what the hell are you talking about. Did you stay up all night reading comics again or something?"
"What? No. Remember the battle not to long ago where you didn't bring any extra ammo?" He asked. I nod as my left eye twitched as I remember the humiliation of what I was forced to say. "Don't you remember something hitting your head while you were shooting next to me?"
"Yeah." I told him.
"Well, I managed to spot a red, white, and blue energy shield flying back to the Blue's sergeant. That's what hit you." He told me.
"...Simmons, I love Marvel movies just as much as anyone,-" I begin.
"Oh, for fucks sack!" He yells.
"But there was never a real Captain America in history." I finish.
All he does is throw his hands in the air, giving up. "I know the truth can be hard at first." I tell him.
Suddenly, Doc turns towards our base and takes off.
"Whoa, wai- hey, whoa, where do you think you're goin'?" Simmons asks, causing him to stop and turn around.
"Back to base with you guys." He informs. "They don't want me over there..."
I shook my head in disapproval. "Heh, yeah, I don't think so."
"What? You're not just gonna leave me out here in the middle of nowhere.. by myself?" Doc asked Simmons.
"Yeah. That's kinda the general idea." The kiss-ass confirmed.
Then the medic turned to me. "Not you too, right, Grif? Old buddy? Huh?" He asked hopefully.
I smirked under my helmet. "Payback time, bitch."
"Sorry, it's pretty clear that you're not very popular around here, and if I'm gonna make any progress at all, I can't be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand." I repeat what he said to me in mock sympathy.
The purple medic doesn't say anything as me and Simmons headed back to base, but as I passed the medic...
"Yoink!"
Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha
Steve's POV
"What's going on? Are they there? Did they leave? Hey, somebody tell me what's happening!" Church asked as I took over for Tucker in fixing Church's legs.
"I don't know, I can't really see too clearly." The aqua soldier says. "I bet I could see better if I had that sniper rifle..."
"Uh, Tucker, you might wanna look behind you." The robot says. I look away for a moment to look at Caboose, who had the gun in question.
"Motherfucker!" Tucker curses as I breath out in frustration, not seeing anything I could do.
I set down my tools and stood up to face Church. "Well, I'm sorry man. I can't do much else." I inform him. He only sighs in disappointment.
"Uh, ooh, Church, Church!" Caboose suddenly says, looking down the rifle's scope. "Okay, I s-I see something... okay... uh the two red ones are walking away... uhhh... but the purple one is..."
I look to where he's looking and activated my helmet's scope function. I saw the maroon and orange soldiers heading back to base, but Doc was heading back towards our base.
"I think he's going to attack." Caboose spoke in that voice.
"Purple? Oh wait, the purple guy's that worthless medic." Church realized.
"First, he's not worthless Church. Second, Caboose, he's a medic, he's not supposed to do anything unless someone's injured." I told the two. Church only scoffs in disagreement.
"Steve's right, he's a pussy fest." Tucker agreed as he looked at Caboose.
"Pacifist." Church corrects.
The aqua soldier only waves him off. "Ahhh, whatever, let's tie him up and roll him through the teleporter." He suggests.
"No." I shot down his idea.
"Wait a second, wait a second, think about this for a minute." Church says. "Why would the Reds leave him out there by himself? This has to be some kind of trick."
"I'll bet they've used some kind of brain washing technique on him. They're, they're probably planning to have him do all their dirty plans... and also the schemes..." Caboose suggests. This causes all of us to look at him.
Tucker shakes his head. "Caboose, that is ridiculous."
"Is it?" The blue private asks as he points the rifle at Tucker. "Or is it so ridiculous, it's the most ridiculously perfect idea that you never thought of?" He asks.
"No, just the regular kind of ridiculous." Tucker answered with a deadpanned tone.
I walk over to Caboose and move the rifle's aim away from Tucker. "Caboose, don't aim weapons at others unless the safety's on." I remind him.
"Well, just keep your eye on him. We'll know it's a trick if he tries to get into our base." Church orders.
"There's no way he would want to trick us, Church." I tell him. "He's not involved in our fight here. He's independent."
Suddenly, a voice from the distance spoke. "Hey, guys, uh, do you think I could come and hang out at your base for a while?" I looked back towards the front of the base and saw Doc.
"I knew it! We're all gonna die!" Caboose panicked before turning towards Tucker and aim at the back of the aqua soldier's head. "Starting with you."
I walk back over and take the rifle from Caboose. "Stop it!"
"Sorry, but we're kinda busy here. So, go away.. or something." Tucker tells him.
"Normally I wouldn't impose, it's just that I don't know the neighborhood too well, and-"
Before I could talk, Church cut us off. "Listen, Doc, you're not fooling anybody with that innocent victim routine."
"Hey, uh, I could help! I know more than just medicine! I'm trained in psychology too. Maybe I could help you with your problem facing people!" The purple medic suggested.
"Just.. get outta here! And tell your buddies the Reds that their little 'plan' failed." Church yelled.
Doc only looked down and walked away to the right of the canyon. I turn to Church and stare at him, a little pissed. He looks at me, confused by my gaze. "What?"
Blood Gulch Outpost #1
No one's POV
Back at the Red's base, Sarge and Donut are seen standing on the roof, looking out into the canyon.
"So, just you and me hanging out at the base today, huh, Sarge!" Donut says. "This is new. I notice you use a shotgun. That's cool. I just use this pistol. It works for me."
The pink soldier looks over at Sarge, doesn't talk and keeps staring out at the middle of the canyon.
'Whistles casually' Donut just whistles for a bit before looking at Sarge. "So, you think the guys will be back soon? What do you think they're up to? Do you think they stopped at the store? I noticed we were getting pre-tty low on elbow grease."
Again, Sarge doesn't speak.
Donut remains silent for a few seconds before looking back at the red leader. "...When you die, can I have your armor?"
Just then, Simmons came up the left ramp. "Hey, we're back!" He announced.
The two turn around to face the marron soldier. "Oh man, am I glad to see you guys! Sarge would not stop talking. Seriously." The flamboyant soldier told Simmons.
"Grif, Simmons, were you able to work out a suitable exchange?" The leader asked as Grif came up and stood next to the maroon soldier.
Simmons let out a sigh before explaining. "Uhh, not exactly sir. You see, when we showed up the Blues were doing something, REALLY weird and then w-"
"Really weird! And they were rude!" Grif interrupted.
Simmons turned to the orange soldier, upset for being interrupted. "Hey dumbass, I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story."
"Excuse me! Go ahead!" Grif told him half heartedly.
Turning back to Sarge, he continued his report. "Well you see, the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, really weird."
"You're not telling it right." Grif jumped in.
Simmons turned to him before crossing his arms. "Okay, fine, how do you remember it?"
"Well, I remember we agreed that you're a kiss-ass. I got fuzzy on the rest of the details." The fat soldier insulted Simmons.
Simmons only groaned before turning to Sarge. "ANYWAY, they didn't want the prisoner back, sir."
"Why those cunning, blue devils!" The Red leader shoats as he shakes his left hand in a fist. "Does their treachery know no bounds?"
"It wasn't a total loss, sir. I was able to steal his wallet." Grif reassured as he holds up Doc's wallet.
"Grif, I may just make a respectable soldier outta you yet." Sarge says, sounding impressed.
"Really, sir?" Grif asks in surprise.
"Hell no!" Sarge admits. "Now leave the money on my nightstand and get back to work!"
Blue Base
"Alright guys, what the hell are we gonna do? I gotta get my legs working here." Church asked Steve and Tucker.
Steve only shrugged. "Sorry Church. I've already tried everything to the best of my limited mechanical knowledge."
"I don't know, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there." Tucker said before an idea came to his head. "I think we should call in a professional. Maybe someone who can fix Sheila too."
"Okay, great idea, but the only two people that can do that are Senior El Roboto and Tex." The disabled robot pointed out.
"Hmm, Tex can be kinda hard to work with." Caboose said.
"Yeah, dead people usually are." Tucker agreed sarcastically.
Church and Steve looked at Tucker. "Quite frankly, Tucker, I find your attitude offensive." Church said, offended by what he said about his deceased girlfriend as Steve nodded.
"What about that Lopez person?" The blue private asked. "Is he available?"
Steve sighed. "Caboose. Lopez is right here." The sergeant gestured to Church. "And Church is currently using his body."
"Well, why don't you just leave his body, and then Tucker, Steve, and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend!" Caboose exclaimed. This caused everyone to look at him.
"Girlfriend?"
"What're you, a retard?"
"Please tell me you didn't say that."
Caboose then panicked upon realizing what he said. "I-I mean uh, Tucker and I will make him fix you, and ah, the beautiful tank lady means nothing to me, uh then we can get you back in his body when he is done."
Steve shook his head as he walked over to the private's left side with a smile under his helmet. He then put an arm around Caboose's neck and pulled him one arm hug. "I knew you could come up with a great idea, buddy." He said with a pride in his voice, making Caboose feel proud of himself.
As Steve congratulated the private, Tucker and Church looked at each other in bafflement.
"I'm confused. That actually seems like a good idea." Tucker admitted.
"I know..." Church agreed.
"But Caboose said it."
"I know!"
Suddenly, Tucker lifted his magnum in the air before slamming it into Church's helmet.
'BAM!'
"Ow!" The robot yelled as he brought his hand to his helmet. "What the hell was that for?!" His yell brought Steve and Caboose's attention.
Tucker shrugged in response. "I don't know, I thought maybe I was dreaming. So, I punched you in the face to make sure I wasn't."
"You're not supposed to punch other people to see if you're dreaming Tucker. You get someone to pinch you." Steve corrected.
"Dude, it doesn't matter what kind of dream I'm having, I am not going to ask Church to pinch me." The aqua soldier said to the sergeant.
"If you dented my forehead, Tucker, I'm going to be pissed!" Church states.
All aqua man does is wave the robot off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."
"Relax Church. Nothing's dented." The blue and white soldier reassured.
"Let's try this. I'll jump outta Lopez's body real quick, you guys just watch him and make sure he doesn't try anything. Got it?" Church told them.
"Actually Church. I need to go take care of something, so you're going to have to make do with Caboose and Tucker." Steve tells Church.
Church looks at him for a few seconds before sighing. "Yeah, it's fine. Besides, I can't really stop our CO in my state."
Steve nods at him. "Thanks Church." He then proceeds down the right ramp.
Outside the Caves
Time Skip
Steve's POV
"Okay dude. Well, sorry about the fire you had. We'll be sure to send supplies to make up for what was lost." Vic replies to me through my radio as I approach one of the cave entrances with a bag on my right shoulder.
"Thank you, Command. Sergeant Walker out." I replied before shutting off my radio. I stare at the mouth of the cave before speaking. "Doc?" I called, hoping he was in there. After a few seconds, I called again. "Doc, you in there?"
After I asked, I heard footsteps come from within the cave before someone with brown hair and brown eyes wearing purple-rimmed glasses poked his head out. "Huh?" He asked as he blinked a few times, adjusting his eye sight to the change in brightness. He then looked at me and frowned. "Oh... What do you want." He asked with a bit of anger in his voice.
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." I told him with a shrug.
He looked away from me, clearly upset by what happened earlier. "Yeah, no thanks to you or your squad. You guys didn't want me back and the Reds don't either, leaving me without any shelter or food in this canyon."
Sighing, I shook my head. "Doc, I'm sorry about that. Me and the guys were busy at the moment, but to be honest, I have a reason for not helping you before."
"And what's that?" Doc asked, still not looking at me.
"Because that would make the Reds believe your on our team and in turn, you're more then likely to get killed the next time in a fire fight." I answered him, causing him to look at me in surprise. "You said you're neutral in this conflict, so you don't have anything to do with it. I'd rather you camp out here and wait until Command sends a pickup to retrieve you."
Doc nods. "I see." He then gains a troubled look. "But I don't have any food, water, or supplies with me apart from scanner." He admitted.
"I figured that." I told him as I removed the bag from my shoulder and placed it on the ground. "That's why I brought you some."
Doc widened his eyes as he looked from the bag to me. "Steve... I-I can't take your supplies. Your team wouldn't be to happy about it." I tried to argue.
I only shook my head in disagreement. "No they won't. I already ordered some more from Command to replace what I gave to you."
He remained silent for a few seconds before smiling. "Thanks Steve. I owe you."
I only shook my head. "Hey, a soldier's job is to help and defend the innocent." I simply told him.
'BBOOMM!'
Suddenly, an explosion rang out from somewhere in the middle of the canyon. Doc flinched as I turned around and pulled my assault rifle out. "What now?" I said to myself before looking at the purple medic. "Well Doc. I got to get going." I then ran off to see what the hell was going on.
I soon reached the hill that Blue base was behind. When I reached the top I saw Church standing on the dirt trail that close to the base while Caboose and Tucker running away from him. I raised an eyebrow when noticed something from the left corner of my visor. Turning my head to the left, I saw the Red's Warthog heading straight towards Church, who still had his back turned.
I instantly dashed towards the blue bot as fast as I could. "CHURCH!"
No one's POV
"Sí, sí, corran, perros cobardes. Que sea sabido que el gran López ha ganado en éste día, y..."* Lopez, now free of Church's possession, yelled, glad the Blues were running at him. He was unaware of the vehicle of his makers rushing towards him.
"Aim for that guy right in the middle, Sarge!" Simmons yelled from the back as he pointed his left figure at the solo blue.
Sarge grinned under his helmet. "Way ahead of ya, Simmons!" He yelled back as he pushed the accelerator pedal all the way down.
As the sound of the engine got louder, the Spanish-speaking robot turned around in confusion. "¿Qué está pasando?"* He asked before he became shocked upon seeing his creator driving the very vehicle he fixed so many times straight at him with no intent of stopping. In his HUD, a beeping noise starts before SYSTEM OVERRIDE PROTOCOL. REMOTE DESTRUCT SEQUENCE appears in red. "No me han dado opción."*
Before he could activate the Warthog's self-destruct system, a loud shout came from his left. "CHURCH!"
Before he could turn to see who just shouted as the Warthog was about to hit him, someone grabbed him and quickly pulled the robot out of the Warthog's path.
Lopez looked at the Warthog continue on, it's gunner confused and his creator cursing before vanishing behind the Blue base. He then turned his attention to the one who saved him, which was the Blue's white and blue sergeant.
"Church, you okay?" Steve asked as he helped Lopez to his feet.
Lopez was baffled by what happened. Why did a Blue, his maker's enemy, save him? Why did he call him 'Church?' "¿Qué?"*
Steve, upon hearing the robot speak Spanish, quickly figured that this was Lopez and not Church. "Oh, you're Lopez? Right, sorry about that." He apologized before he noticed the Red's Warthog appear from the other side of the base and head straight at them.
"We're not missing you two this time!" Sarge yelled over the engine noise, breaking Lopez's mechanical heart even more.
Steve looked at Lopez before placing a hand on the robot's left metallic shoulder, causing him to look at the sergeant. "Lopez... I'll handle this." He told him before walking forwards a bit. Lopez stared at his back before moving away towards Blue base.
Steve grabbed the assault rifle off his back before aiming at the oncoming vehicle and pulled the trigger.
'Machine gun fire'
The spray of hit the front of the 4x4, some flying over head which forced Simmons to duck, while some broke the windscreen.
"Gyah!" Sarge yelled as he lowered himself into the driver's seat a bit to avoid getting hit before coming back up to glare at the enemy sergeant. "Alright then Blue... Let's see what you got!"
He pressed the petal all the way down as vehicle charged at Steve, but to everyone's surprise and shock, instead of waiting to dodge at the last minute, the Blue sergeant ran forwards, attaching the rifle magnetically to his back as he did.
"Is he insane!?" Tucker yelled, thinking Steve had a death with.
"Tucker, how come Steve gets to play a game with the Red's while we have to wait here?" Caboose asked, clearly not understanding the situation.
As Steve and the Warthog were about to meet, the sergeant suddenly bent his knees and jumped into the air, dodging the front of the car and over the driver and passenger seats.
"What the f-" Before the marron soldier could finish, the white and blue soldier suddenly reached down and grabbed the barrel of the machine gun with his right hand and spun it quickly to the right, ripping the triggers away from Simmons' hands and slamming the barrel into his head.
'BAM!'
"Ow!" He yelled as he fell down to the left side of the turret as Steve stopped himself on the roll cage. Suddenly, the barrel of a shotgun is pointing at the back of his head as the camera zooms out to show Sarge pointing his signature weapon at him.
"Got you now, dirtbag." Sarge growled out as he brought the Warthog to a stop in the middle of the dirt trail. "Any last words, Blue?"
Steve didn't say anything, but instead pointed with his left hand towards the front of the 4x4, causing the Red leader to look. On the bonnet, a sticky grenade is pulsating, with the pulse getting faster and faster. "Aw crapbaskets." He groaned.
Steve quickly curled his left leg up before launching his foot into his enemy sergeant's head.
'BAM!'
The kick slammed into Sarge's head with enough force to knock him out. As the grenade closed in on exploding, Steve put his left foot back onto the bar of the roll cage before launching himself back into the air with a backflip just as the grenade suddenly stopped flashing.
'BBBOOOMMM!'
The grenade detonated, destroying the jeep and launching Sarge and Simmons out with the blast. Steve landed on his feet and stood back up as he looked at the destroyed Warthog.
He turned back to the base and saw his team looking at him in shock and awe while Lopez stared at the ground. He then focused on Lopez and walked towards the depressed droid. "Lopez." Steve said as he stopped in front of the brown bot, who didn't look at him. "Lopez, we need you to do something for us."
"Mi espíritu está quebrado. Mi gente me ha abandonado y ahora todo está perdido. Haga conmigo lo que queráis…"* Lopez says in his usual robotic voice, but Steve was able to tell that the robot was saddened by the event that just occurred.
"Yeah, okay, man. Can you just shut up and fix our tank?" Tucker suddenly said, having snapped out of his shocked expression for what Steve pulled off. This caused said sergeant to sigh and shake his head.
Blood Gulch Outpost #1
Time Skip
After an hour of dragging the once again destroyed jeep back to their base, the Red privates all stood on the roof as Sarge works on repairing what he can.
"Is it just me, or does this jeep seem like really bad luck?" Grif asks Simmons, who nodded in response.
Sighing, Simmons held an ice pack to the right side of his head as he spoke. "Yeah. You know, now that you mention it, it does seem like every time we get into the damn thing it breaks, or explodes, or goes crazy and tries to kill one of us." He list all the things that have happened that involved them using the Warthog.
"Maybe we should try exchanging it for a few motorcycles." Donut suggested, causing the two others to look at him as another thought came to him. "No wait, wait! A big tank like the Blues have. That thing never seems to have any problems at all."
Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha
"That's basically it Lopez." Steve told the robot as the stood in front of the destroyed Scorpion, which was somewhat repaired thanks to Steve's limited mechanical training. "We just need you to help us fix our tank and then you're good to go."
Caboose then looks at Tucker. "I thought the plan was to trick him into fixing the tank and then Church will take over his body again when he is done."
"Yeah, but you don't tell the person you're tricking what's going on Caboose." The aqua man tells the blue private in annoyance.
"So, if I'm the one being tricked, then you would not tell me what is really going on?!" Caboose said in shock.
"Why would we trick you?" Tucker asked, mentally trying his best to not punch the idiot.
"Oh, I think you know." The blue man tells him with narrowed eyes.
"¿Dónde voy a ir? Mis amigos querían matarme."* Lopez told Steve, who began thinking of something.
"Okay, I'm gonna take that as a yes and let you get busy with the tank fixing." Church suddenly said.
"No tengo hogar."* Lopez said as Steve sighs, his mind conflicted. He knew Church needed a body, but after seeing how heartbroken Lopez was after all that's happened, he wanted to send the robot back home to the Reds.
Red Base
Grif stood on the broken Warthog, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle as he kept an eye on the Blue's base when he spotted the Blues gathered around the tank and saw something worrying.
"Aw crap." Grif groaned, catching the others attention. "Hey, uh, they got a guy fixing their tank."
Everyone felt a pit in their stomachs as soon as the orange soldier finished. "Impossible! Our Intelligence clearly states-" Sarge begins.
"We have intelligence?" Donut asks in confusion.
"-that the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training are that dead Freelancer and Lopez." Sarge finishes before he realized something. "Oh, wait a minute!"
Simmons turned to Sarge, clearly figuring it out too. "Sarge, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Lopez runs away, the jeep starts driving itself, and suddenly there's a new guy on the Blue Team?"
Sarge nods in agreement. "Yes, Simmons, I am. Quite obviously, the Blue Team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam, that they used on Lopez and now he has to do their evil Blue bidding!"
"Or,-" Grif begins as he jumps off the ruined jeep. "-since he's a robot, maybe they just reprogrammed him." He suggested, clearly not believing in his leader's crazy idea.
"Or maybe that Blue guy who got killed by the tank came back as a ghost, and now he's possessing Lopez's body. That could also explain why Sarge went nuts when we had the prisoner. The Blue ghost probably possessed him too. And the jeep going nuts was probably just a weird set of coincidences while the guy learned how to use Lopez's body." Donut suggests as well.
"..." Grif, Simmons, and Sarge all look at the pink soldier like he was crazy.
"I think I like the ray beam idea better." Simmons said.
Grif nods, now thinking Sarge's idea was more sane. "Yeah-heh, rookie, your idea sounds a little dumb."
Blue Base
Back with the Blues, Steve and Lopez are finishing up fixing the tank, with the sergeant following the instructions of the Spanish speaking robot, much to Lopez's surprise that he was being understood. The rest of the guys watched or in Caboose's case, hopping in excitement.
"Hurry, hurry, hurry, fix the tank!" Caboose pesters as he stops hopping. "So that I can say hello to Sheila." He then turns to Tucker. "And start killing everyone!" The private says in a deep voice.
"You mean all the Reds, right?" Tucker asks in worry.
"Of course!" Caboose says in his usual voice before going back to his deep voice. "For starters..."
"Come on, how much longer, you two?" Church ask impatiently.
Steve stops welding before looking at Lopez and giving him a nod. Lopez nodded as he finished up his task before looking at the dead-man "Completo."* Steve then reaches into the driver's cockpit and presses the starter. The engine fires up as Lopez steps of while Steve shuts the drive canopy and gets off as well.
"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank." Sheila says as the headlight turns on.
"Sheila!" Caboose cheers in joy. "You're fixed! You're fixed!"
"Hello, Private Caboose." Sheila greets the blue private. "It is good to see you again. Thank you for repairing me."
Tucker only rolls his eyes. "He didn't fix you. Our robot and Steve did it."
"Don't cock block me!" Caboose shouts at the aqua soldier in his deep voice.
"Dude, come on." Tucker says in disbelief.
Steve then walks up to Sheila to introduce himself. "Hello. This is our first time meeting, but the others told me about you Sheila. I'm Sergeant Steven Walker, the new commanding officer of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh, I apologize that I wasn't active to meet you." Sheila apologizes. "Thank you for fixing me, sir."
"Sheila, just call me Steve." Steve told her before looking at Lopez. "And our robot friend, Lopez, here did most of the work. I only helped him with his guidance."
"Robot? I wasn't aware that our squad was outfitted with a robot." Sheila said as she focused on the droid.
Lopez and Sheila slowly make eye contact and Steve looked between them and could tell that something beautiful was just formed.
"I don't like where this is going." Caboose said in worry.
"Hello there. My name is Sheila. The M808V Main Battle Tank." Sheila introduced herself.
"Y yo soy López, el Pesado."* Lopez replied, putting his left arm diagonally across his metal chest.
"Lopez, what a nice name for such a nice soldier." The tank A.I. complemented. "You have such excellent motor skills."
Suddenly, Caboose got in between them. "Umm, yes! Well, Lopez has to go now. He was just here to help me fix you and now he has to go AWAY." He growled the last part in jealousy.
Tucker shivered at the awkward scene he was watching. "Dude, this is getting weird." He then turned to the ghost. "Church, will you take your fucking body back?"
"Roger that." Church responded.
Steve looked at Church conflicted. "Church, let's just let him go. I can call Command and they can send us a new robot that you can use a body."
"Forget Steve. You maybe our CO, but I'm not waiting for a new body." Church rejected as he rushed at Lopez, who backed away in worry.
"No!" He shouts before Church enters his body, causing it to twitch about. "Heauegerkergerk!" However, after a few seconds, the other could see something was wrong.
"Church, what's happening?" Steve asked.
"You okay in there, Church?" Tucker joined in. "Church, hey what's going on? Do I need to flip your switch?"
Suddenly, Church appears beside Steve with a baffled expression. "What the-? That wasn't me. What the hell's going on here?"
Lopez's body stops twitching as his head bends down before it moves back up again as his figures curl. "Well, buenos dias*, cockbites." A familiar voice speaks out from Lopez, causing the others to widen their eyes in disbelief as the robot turns around to face them. "Guess who's back?"
She's back! The badass that is Tex has returned from the grave! And Steve is showing that he's a bit of a badass as well.
1. - "Yes, yes, run, you cowardly dogs. It is known that the great Lopez has won on this day, and..."
2. - "What's going on?"
3. - "You have given me no choice."
4. - "What?"
5. - "My spirit is broken. My people have abandoned me and now everything is lost. Do with me what you want..."
6. - "Where will I go? Even my friends have tried to kill me."
7. - "I have no home."
8. - "Complete."
9. - "And I'm Lopez, the Heavy."
10. - "Good morning."
With that, NexusLight out!