A/N: Here is chapter 4. I know that this isn't the next episode in the series but I don't want to retell the entire series. We'd never get to the end if I did that. :D. LaRieNGuBleR: I'm glad you liked it. I am going to do Big Game/Revelation but it will be with my spin on it. DaisyAngel: Yeah, I always thought Gideon was too controlled at the end of that episode for how much he was fussing at Reid behind the camera. I'm leaning toward not doing No Way Out part 1 because I HATED that epi (even though I love Keith Carradine). I am going to do NWO part 2 and I'm fairly certain, y'all will LOVE IT. Tooker86: Glad you like it. Ripon: Believable is what I have been going for the entire time and I have had a lot of help from both Charmony and Whatif-ifonly. Ahowell1993: Thank you for all of your suggestions. Whatif: Yeah that last scene with Elle is great. I actually had the Rossi part written before I had the reason for the Rossi part written. LOL. Charmony: As always thanks for all of the help and ideas sounding board.

Mega love for my beta and bestie Charmony.

Chapter 4: Somebody's Watching

Spencer looked around the posh gallery with equal parts curiosity and apprehension. He was interested in the unique displays but at the same time it was LA, which meant lots of people and some very odd ones at that.

"Spencer Reid-Gideon. What a surprise."

He turned reflexively not only at the familiar voice but also his full last name. His eyes widened at the man standing behind him, memories of a bad time in high school crowding in to his mind until he ruthlessly pushed them out. "Peter? Peter Childers? What are you doing here?"

Peter smiled as he gestured around the gallery. "I own this place. After high school, I got a business degree and tried the corporate world for a few years but I hated it, so I moved out here and decided to take a risk by opening up an art gallery."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "From star wide receiver to art connoisseur?"

Peter shrugged. "Well plans change, and after being benched for most of a season I realized that football wasn't as big of a deal to me as I thought it was. It was more my dad's dream for me since both of my older brothers played." He sighed and quickly changed the subject. "So what are you doing now?"

"I'm working with my dad in the FBI. We're actually in town doing a training seminar for some of the LAPD."

"Wow. That's crazy. So you chase bad guys and all that?"

"Sort of. I'm part of the Behavior Analysis Unit and we use profiling to determine the type of suspect."

Peter shook his head. "Sounds like it would be over my head for sure." He turned as he noticed a striking blonde walking toward them. "Lila! You made it."

"Hi Peter." Lila gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Who's your friend?"

Peter turned back to Spencer. "This is Spencer Reid-Gideon. We graduated high school together. Spencer, this is Lila Archer, an up and coming actress."

"Nice to meet you," Lila held out her hand which Spencer hesitantly took.

"You too," he replied shyly.

Lila laughed. "Don't be nervous around me. I don't bite." She smiled flirtatiously at him. "You look like you're still in college."

The young agent shrugged. "Yeah, I get that a lot." He cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable with the close proximity to the attractive young woman. She seemed interested in him but he wasn't sure. Outside of Whitney, most girls looked right past him. His father's voice broke into his thoughts and captured his attention.

"I appreciate the interest miss but I'm very happily married." Gideon spoke gently but firmly. "Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to find my son and head back to my hotel."

Spencer raised an eyebrow at his father as Gideon came to his side. "What was that?"

"Some girl who said that I reminded her of her father and tried to hit on me. I told her I was happily married and I was going to look for my son." Gideon narrowed his eyes at his son's smirk. "It's not funny."

"Yes, it is," Spencer replied as they headed for the door.

One day later, a simple trip to conduct a training seminar had turned into a full-fledged murder investigation that had brought the entire team to LA.

"So we have three murders that are execution style and one that's out of character and hasty." Hotch turned from the evidence board, tossing a folder on the desk. "We know it's an assassin, but where's the target?"

The team was interrupted by a quick knock on the door. "Excuse me, but I have a client who seems to have a note that could be related to that murder last night," a balding middle aged man said.

"I'm sorry. Who are you?" Gideon asked the man.

"I'm Michael Ryder. My client is in the other room. Her name is Lila Archer."

"Dad, that's the girl that I was talking to last night at the gallery."

"Go talk to her. Since you've already met, she may be more comfortable with you than with someone else. Morgan, go with him."

Spencer nodded and headed to interview Lila with Morgan following behind.

Lila looked up as the two agents entered the room. "Spencer, what's going on?"

After ascertaining that Lila was being stalked and that she required round-the-clock protection, Spencer found himself standing in her lavish home. He was staring at a collage on the wall of the living area and trying to decide if he liked it or not after Lila had asked him about it.

"I find it very appealing," he finally decided, causing her to smile slightly as she turned toward the sliding back door and slipped out of her robe.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked incredulously, all thoughts of the collage flying out of his head.

"I'm going for a swim. Care to join me? There's suits in the house."

"No I'm not going to join you. Lila, there's a deranged psychopath shooting people in the head!"

Lila dove into the pool, effectively cutting off Spencer's protest. He ran his hand over his hair as he moved to the edge of the pool.

"Lila, please get out of the pool. It's not safe."

"Spencer, you need to live a little," Lila pouted playfully at him. She knew she was flirting with the shy awkward agent but she couldn't help it. There was just something alluring about his innocence.

"I don't need to live a little. I need you to get out of the pool and back in the house where it's safe."

Lila sighed before putting on her best disappointed face. "Well can you at least help me out of the pool?"

Spencer unsuspectingly leaned down to give the girl his hand then yelped as she pulled him into the water. Coughing as he cleared the surface, he was annoyed to see Lila overcome with laughter.

"I can't believe you fell for that!"

"It's not funny Lila," Spencer muttered as he swam to the side of the pool.

"Spencer, don't be like that," Lila swam over to him. "I'm sorry. It's just that I think you're totally adorable and sweet and I really like you."

"Lila…" Spencer broke off as the blonde kissed him full on the lips. He froze as the familiar panic scrambled at his throat. His hands shook as he abruptly shoved her away. "Stop!"

Lila gaped at him, her mouth hanging open. "I'm…I'm sorry," she stammered, unsure in the face of his reaction.

Spencer closed his eyes in an attempt to bring his emotions under control. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to shove you away like that. It's just I have a girlfriend back home in DC." He stiffened as he heard tires screeching in the distance. "We need to get back inside."

Later after they were both in dry clothes and the team had come and gone, Lila glanced over at the young agent.

"How long have you and your girlfriend been together?"

"Six months," Spencer said in a distracted tone as he again found himself studying the collage on the wall. "Lila, didn't you say you went to Julliard?"

"Yeah, so?" She followed his gaze toward the collage. "What are you seeing?"

"I need to take this thing apart, and I promise I'll put it back together."

An hour later, Spencer watched as Lila struggle to take in the information he had just given her on her stalker.

"It can't be Mags. We're friends, and I've known her forever. I got her a job on my show." Lila looked down as her phone rang and her face paled. "Spencer, she's calling me now. What do I do?"

"Stay calm and try to keep her on the phone. We need to trace the call."

Lila nodded as Spencer placed a call to Garcia. "I need an emergency trace of Lila 's cell phone."

"On it junior G-man." Garcia typed as fast as her fingers could go, feeling a building panic as the call location narrowed down. "Reid, she's calling from inside the house."

"Get the team here now," Spencer replied quietly just as Lila returned to his side.

"She hung up on me."

"Lila, does Maggie have keys to this house?"

"Yeah." Lila swallowed as the meaning of the question sunk in. "She's inside?"

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. Garcia is sending my team but I've got to make sure you're safe."

The next day, Lila smiled as the team headed for their cars. She glanced up at Spencer. "You know you saved my life."

Spencer smiled sheepishly. "I was just doing my job."

"Maybe so, but I'm still grateful."

"You're welcome," Spencer replied quietly.

"Listen, if I'm ever in DC, would it be okay if I looked you up? I'd love to meet your girlfriend. She must be a special woman."

"Lila…" The young doctor stopped, unsure of what to say.

"Best wishes to you both, Spencer." Lila stretched up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before walking back into the set. Spencer watched her go for a moment before climbing in the car next to his dad.

"I'm proud of you son. You did a great job on this case." Gideon glanced sideways at his silent son.

"Thanks Dad," Spencer said quietly. He felt relief that the case was over, but he was dreading explaining what had happened to Whitney.

Whitney looked up as a quick knock sounded at her door. She smiled to herself, fairly certain it was her boyfriend. Opening the door, she saw an obviously tired and worn out Spencer. "Hey you. Come on in."

Spencer smiled faintly. "Thanks." The weariness was even more apparent in his voice than it was in his body language.

"Would you like some coffee? I just put on water to make myself a cup of tea."

"Yeah, coffee would be great," he said as he dropped down onto the couch with his head in his hands.

Whitney knew Spencer well enough to know that something was bothering him but she also knew he wouldn't talk about it until he was good and ready. Thinking to give him some more time to collect his thoughts on whatever it was, she sat down beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"You look beat. Why didn't you go home; we could have met up tomorrow."

"Trying to get rid of me?"

"You know better than that." The whistle of the tea kettle interrupted the conversation. A few minutes later, Whitney returned handing a mug to Spencer. "Lots of sugar and cream, just the way you like it."

Spencer sipped the hot liquid, feeling reassured by the warmth. His heart was pounding so hard he was surprised that Whitney couldn't hear it.

"Something happened while I was in LA. I don't know what happened and I didn't mean for it to. I was just taken by surprise." He couldn't bring himself to look at his girlfriend. "I cheated on you, on us."

Whitney blanched for a moment before narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend. Something didn't seem right about his statement. "Tell me what happened," she requested, keeping her voice calm with an effort.

Spencer leaned back against the couch with a heavy sigh. "This girl named Lila was being stalked by someone and for some reason she was attracted to me. I was in an art gallery talking to a guy I knew in high school named Peter and he introduced us. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Dad got hit on by some lesbian and then we left. The next day we found out about the stalker and Dad told me to protect Lila since she would talk to me more freely than anyone else on the team." Spencer's nerves were getting the best of him and he began tripping over his words. "Her manager had been killed, and so I was trying to keep her inside but she insisted on going for a swim. When I tried to get her out of the water, she pulled me in and then she kissed me. I froze because I couldn't believe she did it. I mean, no girls other than you have even looked at me twice. Anyway, then I panicked and started pushing her away. Then the team showed up." He shot a sideways glance at his girlfriend, momentarily surprised to see that she didn't look mad. "I'm so sorry."

Whitney considered him for moment. "Did you kiss her back?"

"Of course not!" Spencer stared at her. "I pushed her away and told her that I had a girlfriend back home. When we left, she gave me a hug and quick peck on the cheek and she said she wished us the best."

"Then you didn't cheat," Whitney said firmly with a shrug. "Spence, you can't control the actions of others, only your own. She instigated it and you stopped it. In my book, that's not cheating."

"Even though she kissed me?"

"Especially since she kissed you. Like I said, she started it. You didn't ask her to kiss you and you didn't kiss her back so you didn't cheat."

Relief flooded the young doctor and he sagged back against the couch as a wave of weariness washed over him. He felt Whitney lay her head against his shoulder as he closed his eyes.

"Spence? Can I ask you a question?" Whitney hesitantly asked. "I know you're tired so you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"I guess so," Spencer said.

"Why are you so afraid of intimacy? It took you a long time to stop freaking out when I kissed you, and now you're saying that you panicked when this girl kissed you. You also tense when I get anywhere close to touching your waist." She felt him tense at the line of questioning.

"What are you asking me Whitney?"

She shifted so she could look directly at him. "You said that your childhood was 'turbulent' before you were adopted. I think you were abused as a child."

Spencer took in a shuddering breath. He had known that he'd need to explain eventually but now that the moment was here, he wasn't sure he wanted to provide that explanation. Doubts swirled through his mind. What if Whitney made fun of him? What if she wanted to leave? As the thoughts swirled faster and faster in his mind, he was unaware that his breathing rate had accelerated and he had begun shaking.

"Spencer? I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me anything."

Whitney's soft voice broke through the haze surrounding him. He forced himself to calm down by taking several deep breaths.

"No I want to. It's just that the only people that know are my parents, my aunt and my uncle. I've never told anyone the story and I'm a little afraid of how you're going to react. I don't want to lose you."

"Why don't you let me decide that for myself?" Whitney asked gently. She took both of Spencer's hands in hers. "Spencer, please don't shut me out."

"I was born in Vegas and until I was five, I lived with my mom and dad. One night I was in bed and I heard this commotion. My mom, she ran into the room and she told me to hide in the closet. It was dark and I was so scared. I heard my mom and my dad yelling and then it went quiet. Suddenly the door opened and a man that I had seen occasionally in the park was standing there." Spencer paused to take a breath. "When I woke up, I was tied to a bed frame and….and my clothes were gone." He shuddered with the memories. "There was another little boy there too. They raped us and they beat us. And for some reason they liked me better so they took Riley away and they killed him."

"How long did they hold you?"

"Four days. Four very long, very agonizing days. If it weren't for Jason Gideon, I wouldn't be here right now." Spencer tried to blink back the tears. "He and my uncle Dave had been sent when the local law enforcement asked for FBI assistance. Jason was the first kind face I saw and for whatever reason, I latched onto him. I um, I spent the next week and a half in the hospital but because my mom, my biological mom, had a psychotic break and was institutionalized, the only person who I trusted was Jason. He got temporary custody of me and then Diana, that's my biological mom, she asked him to take care of me because she couldn't and my biological dad had been killed the night I was taken."

"So that's how you're adopted but you've stayed in touch with your biological mother," Whitney realized. "I wondered how that had happened."

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. I had nightmares for years. Sometimes I still feel them touching me in my dreams. Most of the time, it's not as vivid as it was when I was a child but it still happens." He sighed heavily as he stared at the floor. "I'll understand if you don't want to be together anymore." He whispered the words so softly that Whitney almost couldn't hear him.
"Do you really think I'm that selfish or that shallow? Spencer, what happened to you was not your fault. I could no sooner blame you than I could blame a woman for getting beat up by her husband."

Spencer still wouldn't meet her eyes. "But I'm damaged goods."

Whitney snorted. "Bull hockey. You may have been hurt because something terrible happened to you, but it doesn't mean that you're worthless or damaged goods. It just means that we need to go slow and I need to make sure that I tell you everything that I'm going to do." She gently pressed her hand to the side of her boyfriend's face, forcing him to meet her gaze. "Spencer, in the six months we've been together, I've never once pushed you and I'm not going to start now. But the only way to break your fear of intimacy is to face it head on. I want to take the next step with you and I'm willing to go as slow as you need me to."

Spencer bit his lip, overwhelmed by the level of love that he saw in his girlfriend's eyes. Once again his heart seemed to be pounding out of his chest and he felt as though he was going to forget how to breathe. "Whit…" he started to whisper.

"Shhh." She pressed her fingertips to his lips. "Just trust me." Leaning forward, she began a soft gentle kiss, giving him a moment to adjust to her advances. Spencer froze briefly before he relaxed, closing his eyes and losing himself in the moment. And instead of putting a wall up to keep from feeling too much, for the first time he chose to trust the woman he was with and he allowed the contact to stoke a fire of passion inside him, releasing feelings that he had fenced off for most of his life. He was panting as Whitney pulled back, her hazel eyes searching his face. "Are you alright?" she asked softly, hoping that it wasn't fear that made him tremble.

"I never thought I could feel like this. I know that sounds corny, but it's true." Spencer sheepishly ducked his head, prompting Whitney to laugh quietly.

"We've all been there love."

As if her affirmation gave him courage, Spencer captured her mouth with his own, surprising both of them with the aggressiveness. Soon he found himself lying on his back with Whitney on top of him as her hands explored his body. Suddenly she pulled back and his eyes flew open.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just figured that you wouldn't want your first time to be on my couch." Whitney's eyes danced with mischief. "Come on," she said as she stood up. "Let's take this into the bedroom."

Spencer let her pull him to his feet, feeling equal parts excited and nervous. He couldn't believe he was about to take this step. Whitney glanced back over her shoulder at him as she led him down the hall. Her cheeks were flushed and he knew she was anticipating what was coming as much as he was.

Once inside her bedroom, Whitney again took the initiative, kissing him deeply. She ran her hands up his arms and around his shoulders, allowing him to adjust to her touch. As she felt him relax, she moved to caress his back. Spencer fought the brief moment of panic, reminding himself that Whitney loved him and would never hurt him. He realized that she had broken the kiss and was now watching him.
"Too much?"

"No," Spencer replied, amazed to realize that the statement was true. "I want more. I want….everything."

Shortly after that, as their clothes lay strewn on the floor, Whitney helped Spencer begin to heal the scars from his childhood by making new memories. With each kiss, touch, and movement, he released the fears he had carried for so long, allowing the love he felt to consume him. The heat of their passion surged higher until it was a veritable flame engulfing them both, bringing them to a peak before they came crashing back down.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Whitney, holding her close as they both tried to catch their breath. He stroked her red hair as she snuggled against him, her head pillowed on his chest. "Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" she murmured back, half asleep.

"For helping me to believe again."