Marinette was sprawled out in her pajamas on the bed of the Agreste guest suite. The combination of the chandelier overhead and the stark white comforter gave the room an unnatural brightness that was a direct contradiction to her present mood. She had just dialed Luka's number after texting him that they "needed to talk". These kinds of conversations never go well, she thought to herself. Here goes nothing. She pressed Call and then waited.
Luka picked up before the first ring had completed. "Hello?"
"Hey, you," Marinette said. "How have you been? I know we just saw each other yesterday, but that was really awkward and I feel like there's a lot of stuff unsaid between us that we need to get out."
Luka hummed. "I'm working on finishing that new song. The lyrics are starting to come to me bit-by-bit. You?"
"I'm… well… my parents had to leave Paris for a bit because of some stuff. They're letting me stay with a friend so I can get the battle of the bands stuff taken care of. Otherwise I'd probably be somewhere in the middle of nowhere, or at the very least taking over a small hotel room with my sewing supplies."
"Some stuff? Marinette, they had to leave town? That sounds serious! What's wrong?"
How on earth do I tell him that my family is probably being targeted by Serket and her friend - Le Faisan, I think he said? - and I need to stay behind so I can stop them? "Um… it's complicated," she mumbled. "Family stuff, you know?"
"I've got time," he countered shyly.
"I know… just… trust me on this one, okay? You don't want to know all of the details."
"Marinette…" Luka took a deep breath. "You know what I said to you yesterday outside the bakery, right? I want to be your everything. Someone you can tell anything to. Now, I know it's not my business to pry into your personal family stuff, but if you need to get something out, I can be that person you talk to." A pause, then he continued tenderly. "When you were first measuring us for our outfits, I opened up and told you exactly what was in my heart. We have to be balanced, Marinette, or our relationship won't work. I need you to be confident and trusting enough to tell me what's in your heart, too. Anyway… we can work on that. Can we hang out soon?"
Marinette sighed. "I… I don't know when I can. With the family stuff that's going on… there's a lot being asked of me right now and my availability is all over the place."
"Ice cream?" he prompted hopefully. "My treat… a half-hour, tops. Let me spoil you a bit and get your mind off of whatever it is going on. It sounds like you've got a lot bottled up inside, and maybe I can help you unload a bit."
I wish I could. "Luka… you're so sweet. These things I have to do… I can't really share them with anybody. I wish I could tell you, honest, I do! But… it just has to be this way right now. I'm sorry."
"I'm glad you can keep a secret, Marinette… but secrets and lies aren't good. They bubble up inside you and can eat away at you until you're a completely different person."
"I know, Luka… I know. And I hate liars. It's not fun to keep secrets. It's a burden. There's probably… one person, maybe, who I can talk to about this, and I can't even tell him the whole thing."
"And I'm not that person? Come on, Marinette… look, I'll start. I've got a secret," he said, "and I've been dying to get it off of my chest."
"Wait, what? What are you talking about?"
"Yesterday… Ladybug visited me. She wanted me to be a superhero. She -"
"Luka, wait, stop! You shouldn't be -"
"Marinette, there can't be any secrets between us. This is the biggest one I have. Let me share it with you. Last Thursday? During our ice cream date when that supervillain showed up at City Hall? I wasn't hiding at the ice cream shop."
"What are you talking about? Luka - stop." The note of desperation in Marinette's voice was threatening to become a full-blown symphony.
"Don't worry, it's not what you think! Ladybug came and got me, and she recruited me to help her out. I don't know why she did… she told me I was brave and trustworthy. Isn't that amazing? A superhero, someone who puts it all on the line for Paris, thinks that I'm brave!"
"Luka… why are you telling me this?"
"Because there can't be any secrets between us, Marinette. Not if we want to keep this up. I need to be able to trust you with the biggest secret that I have: I'm Vipe-"
"Nononononononono! LUKA! You can't tell me that!" The symphony of desperation was replaced by an opera of panicking voices in Marinette's mind. What is he DOING? He's very lucky that I already knew this secret… but not only is this dangerous, I can't reciprocate! "Superhero secret identities are secret for a reason, Luka! I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, OK? You can't go sharing stuff like that! What if the wrong person finds out? Someone could be in danger!" She took a deep breath. "Look… Luka, what you're asking of me… I can't share it with you. Do you understand? I want to so bad but I just can't."
There was a long period of silence on the other end of the phone. Finally Luka said, "I'm not the only song in your heart, am I?" The sadness that accompanied his voice was palpable.
"Huh? Now what are you talking about?"
"Remember how our date at the ice rink ended? You spent most of that date infatuated with Adrien, and even chased after him when he started to drive away. And you know what? I was cool with that, because I hadn't come out and directly told you how I felt about you. But I thought you were over Adrien enough that we had a chance at a relationship. But you're not."
Luka continued, "You told me yesterday that you were helping a friend with his sick cat. Then, at rehearsal, the only two people who had outfits already fit for them were me, which is understandable, and Adrien, which is not. You didn't even have to take his measurements, and you still have his pictures all over the walls of your bedroom! When you were below decks doing everyone else's fitting, I asked Adrien what he had been up to, and do you know what he told me?"
"...No? Wait, Adrien? Luka, where are you going with this?"
"He told me that his cat was sick! I don't think that's a coincidence, Marinette."
"Adrien… told you… his cat…?" Marinette stammered.
"So there are three possibilities. Either you two are both telling the truth and you spent the day together helping him with his cat, or you have a different friend who you helped with a sick cat and there's some sort of cat flu going around, or there's something else entirely."
"Luka… wait! This isn't what you think!"
"Can you tell me what it really is, then?" he asked quietly.
"I… can't. I wish I could but I can't. I'm sorry, Luka. I can't give you what you want… what you need me to give you. Maybe someday. You're an amazing person and I've loved every moment I spent with you. If this hasn't been enough, then… maybe we should break it off. I'm sorry I can't give you more."
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. Good luck, Marinette. Thanks for a great couple of weeks. You're a special girl… and I'm sorry I couldn't be your special guy."
"Luka…"
"Good night, Marinette." The phone call went dead.
Marinette stared, mouth open, at her phone. Did that just happen? A sob rose in her throat.
Tikki floated tentatively up to Marinette's face and dabbed at her tears. "I'm sorry, Marinette."
"Tikki… what went wrong? You said I shouldn't bear the burden of being Guardian by myself, but I've never felt more alone. He loves me, Tikki. And I couldn't open up to him. Everything that my life has become… just came between us."
Tikki said nothing and continued clearing Marinette's face of the tears that spilled forth.
"It's just… I'm alone now, Tikki. I was forced to move out of my house, hide the Miracle Box, stay in the closest available guest room… I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with Serket and Le Faisan… and Chat… this is all me. I wish Master Fu were here… I wish I could have Luka hold me right now… I wish… I wish I could just Miraculous Ladybug everything back to how it was!" Her voice caught in her throat.
At least she doesn't want to give up being Ladybug this time, Tikki thought. She'll be OK… especially since her partner will be there to support her.
Marinette picked up the flip phone, flipped it open, and sent a text.
[LB (to Adrien)] sorry, busy day. raincheck ok? going to bed
[Adrien] no problem at all. sleep well. text me if you need anything
[LB] I will, thanks
She flipped the phone closed, placed both phones on her nightstand, and turned off the light. Her tears stopped shortly after she fell asleep, but that didn't stop the dreams from being painful.
Marinette woke up to the sound of a light rainstorm hitting her window. She pushed herself up and saw the makeup prints her tears had dried to the pillow. Guess I'll have to talk to Adrien about laundry service… maybe I can rinse this off in the bathroom sink first. At least I didn't fall asleep in my clothes this time. Careful to not disturb her sleeping kwami, she sneaked out of bed, grabbed a phone from the night table, and walked over to the window.
The rain had kept people off the streets even more than usual. Paris, the city of lights… the city of superheroes… the city of Ladybug and Chat Noir. I never really liked being out in the rain. I can't risk Tikki getting sick, either, even though I could heal her myself. I miss Master Fu. Usually he would know just the right thing to say to me. Something to cheer me up, something to lift my spirits. Something to help me know that everything would be alright. Her mind flashed back to the nights at Fu's apartment, where she would study the secrets of the Miraculous and share her questions, doubts, and fears over a warm mug of tea.
Of course! Tea! Marinette ran over to her school bag and rummaged through it until she found a pink notebook. She pulled it out and turned to the last page, where she had faithfully written down the recipe for Master Fu's special tea as he had dictated it to her. She read over the ingredients and frowned. I wonder if Adrien has chamomile handy? Might have to risk going out in the rain...
Yawning, she opened up her messaging app and composed a text. While she waited for a response, she unpacked her toiletries and took them to the private bathroom off of the guest room. This shower looks amazing! She turned on the water and watched as the giant waterfall showerhead and massage jets on the wall changed color from blue to red as the water heated up. She put her phone down on the counter and grabbed a towel. After verifying that the door to her bedroom was indeed locked, she stripped down and climbed into the shower.
In another room in the mansion, Adrien was sitting on his couch, staring at his phone.
[Marinette] Good morning :) How did you sleep?