JMJ
Chapter Two: P's and Q's for Lunch and Moola for Dessert
They stood on the roof waiting for the Haltmann people to arrive. Looking upwards they searched the sky for a ship of some kind, but the sky remained clear and peaceful with the occasional white puff of cloud but nothing more.
Having come with her family to see what was said to be Mr. Haltmann himself Tiff looked with the rest of them up over the parapet wall, and she frowned suspiciously.
Escargoon next to the king also looked somewhat suspicious suddenly. Perhaps he had noticed Tiff's suspicion, but more likely he just grew impatient as he turned to Dedede and said, "Why do I get the feeling that we're being stood up?"
After a pair of wide-eyed blinks, Dedede scowled and let out a low bristling growl.
"I'll show that Haltmann," he snapped pounding the parapet. "No one stands up Dedede."
"Who would try with how immense you are, Sire?" Escargoon said as though in agreement.
Whether the king heard or understood or not, Dedede had better things on his mind than his servant's candid comments. He spun around. However, just as he took a couple steps forward to do something about the situation and show his upperclassmen and servants what that meant when he could not reach Haltmann Works Company much less know what Mr. Haltmann even looked like, there was a gleaming light on the landing platform that stopped him short.
As everyone looked in surprise and awe at the shimmering colors, a figure appeared.
"It's that secretary!" gasped Escargoon.
Quite impressed with the quickness and smoothness of the teleportation, everyone then gave Susie the secretary silence enough for her to bow solemnly and in rising she said, "Greetings to the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Dream Land. I am Susie, secretary to Mr. Haltmann and your guide in the process of making your small corner of the universe a better place."
She had no actual mouth, but her eyes smiled and she laughed pleasantly— musically even.
"Besides being his secretary, I'm assuming you're his favorite robot too," commented Dedede.
"Your Majesty," muttered Escargoon; though no one seemed to hear him.
Susie's eyes widened.
"Robot?" she asked and laughed again. "Oh, no, Your Majesty. The people of my planet are all this way and are not built by a master including our good founder Mr. Haltmann."
"You're all robots?" Tuff could not help but ask out loud.
"We are autonomous robotic organisms," said Susie blushing a little, but still in good humor as she went on, "but we mustn't waste time now. I don't want my duty to be wasted in small talk. I am here to help His Majesty and his people become acquainted with what Mr. Haltmann offers all of you, but first and foremost I would like to introduce everyone to our noble president who never leads us wrong, Mr. Haltmann himself."
She stood aside and after another shimmer of light in the same place where she had appeared, another figure appeared, larger, gruffer, stauncher, and very business-like.
"He looks kinda like a mean version of Dad," whispered Tuff to Tiff.
"Sh," was all Tiff said back afraid that the president of Haltmann Works Company would not appreciate comments of that sort.
Sir Ebrum evidently heard Tuff as it was and suddenly looked rather embarrassed at the observation, but aside from glancing briefly and apologetically at his children he made no mention of it.
"Our beloved founder and leader in all that we do," said Susie, "Mr. Haltmann of the Haltmann Works Company."
It was as if she was announcing a king rather than a boss, and somehow everyone got the feeling from that point on that Haltmann Works Company was more than just a company that sold things. It was its workers way of life.
With an oily sort of sneer before anyone else could think of what to say, Dedede said, "Why that sure is one spiffy looking dude!" Then to Mr. Haltman he said, "Well, we are all pleased as punch" (He could not help what he meant to be a rather friendly punch over Escargoon's eyes to stop his sour expression, but he did not look at Escargoon as he stepped forward) "to meet you there!"
He straightened himself and smiled importantly as he motioned to Waddle Doo beside him while holding up his sword like a tin soldier and a face in a daze.
Quickly waking, Waddle Doo cleared his throat that he evidently had despite not having a visible mouth and said, "Introducing his eminence the great King Dedede, ruler of—"
"—all Dream Land!" Dedede interrupted brushing past the little captain of the guard and waving his arm broadly to all that surrounded him as though his kingdom was a vast empire rather than a little place no more than a territory.
Throwing one arm behind his back then and holding up his chest even more importantly he approached.
"Mr. Haltmann!" he said. "I want to welcome you and your company to Dream Land and show you all the best hospitality my castle can give!"
Mr. Haltmann nodded politely, "Thank you, Your Majesty. You are most benign."
"Well, thank you, Mr. Haltmann," remarked Dedede.
Tiff felt the king's eyes briefly and smugly upon her, but she quickly turned away and looked down at the ground nervously.
But Dedede had already forgotten her as he continued, "I have a whole luncheon dedicated to your arrival, Sir. Uh, that is if you automat robots eat the same grub that we do here in Dream Land. Otherwise whatever you would prefer we can have fixed up by supper time."
Susie glanced at Mr. Haltmann and Mr. Haltmann nodded.
"We would be honored, Your Majesty," she said bowing low. "Anything you serve will be alright with us."
King Dedede pulled Escargoon aside as everyone descended to the dining hall.
"Good thing we had the meal shipped here instead of allowing Kowasaki or even the Waddle Dees to cook otherwise he wouldn't've been able to say that once he had a fork in his mouth," muttered the snail.
"You stop that sulking!" growled Dedede very low. "Or I'll give you something to sulk about, you hear? We wanna make a good perception on them. That catering thing was expensive and I'm not about to let it go to waste cuz I'm expecting it all to come back to me ten times over."
"Right, Sire," agreed Escargoon quickly.
Once everyone sat at the table to the luncheon, everyone did behave as though everything was regally proper and ordinary. The food was undeniably exceptional, especially after being used to the bland cooking of the castle normally or the horrid cooking of the only restaurant in Cappy Town, and everyone remembered their manners and minded their "p's" and "q's"—well, figuratively anyway.
It always made Tiff cringe when Dedede acted his kingly part in front of guests, though. It was false, sure, and very embarrassing, but it was more than that. It showed in a way that as stupid as he was he was not all stupid, but was more conniving than he sometimes let on. But then, as others such as Waddle Doo and Escargoon thought on occasion, perhaps it was more that he just liked playing "proper king" when the opportunity arose and nothing more sinister than that. He was brought up as a prince, after all, and even if he did not act like the king he had been taught to be most of the time, he liked to show off that he could if he wanted to.
He even had the Waddle Dees play something relatively traditional on traditional court instruments after the Haltmann people expressed their desires to harbor respect for the traditions of Dream Land. To show he had an absolute respect for such traditions of his people himself he instantly had this done much to the stress of Waddle Doo who had not been sure how good the music of Waddle Dees were. Much to everyone's relief the ones that played on the instruments did so with the same skill that the silent servants usually possessed in all that they did. Though they were playing a tune, despite being on traditional instruments, that the king had had written in his own honor some time ago.
Now at the meal, Mr. Haltmann went a step further in what he said earlier: "Now, Your Majesty, I would like to know all about your kingdom so that I know how to proceed with things once we set up shop, so to speak," said Mr. Haltmann. "After today I will be leaving my secretary here to make sure everything goes smoothly. We don't wish to disturb any environment in which we enter."
King Dedede laughed. Even his laugh was at least a little subdued, but his smug tone still really wasn't.
"Don't you worry a thing about us here in Dream Land, Mr. Haltmann! You just keep your promises like your secretary gave and we'll keep ours!" insisted Dedede. "If your inventions are environmentally friendly then there ain't nothing to worry about, right?"
"Nevertheless," said Mr. Haltmann after wiping his nonexistent mouth on a silky napkin monogrammed in the king's seal.
"Never the less?" asked King Dedede with a raised brow.
"It would make us at Haltmann Works Company feel more at ease to have our Susie keep track of things, if I may make the request, Sire," said Mr. Haltmann.
"Even you couldn't say that they're up to something, could you?" teased Tuff in a whisper to Tiff under the sound of the music, but Tiff thought he really was trying to encourage her in his own way.
Tiff sighed. They sounded like honest people, but she could not help but feel also that they sounded too honest to be true somehow, but she only shook her head to Tuff absently and drank from her glass.
Their parents who, as they were not in the main discussion, were complimenting the Waddle Dees and their music and saying that there should be more music in the future.
"Like in the old days, my dear," said Sir Ebrum.
"So lovely, darling."
"Understood completely, Mr. Haltmann!" grinned Dedede as he looked at the silent and straight Susie seated on the far side of Mr. Haltmann. "Now how's about after we eat you show us more of your great stuff! We'd all like to see more than what was shown in brief little blips in your commercial you sent us."
"Of course, Your Majesty. In fact per your interest about the add, we've already decided to give you a complimentary hovercraft."
"You mean the one from the commercial."
"Indeed, Sire," said Mr. Haltmann.
"Now you're spoiling little old me!"
"You can say that again," whispered Tuff, and this time Tiff had to smile.
"So you're gunna teleport it all the way from your planet to here?" Dedede demanded eagerly.
"Just from our Mother Ship. We can't teleport anything from our planet, Your Majesty. The Mother Ship is orbiting your planet until everything is settled here."
"Oh, uh, right! Of course! The Mother Ship."
"From the little research of what we could obtain about your planet I thought also that you might be interested in updating your remedial facilities. We have made many studies beyond our own people to say that it is safe and guaranteed satisfaction to offer you the advancements we have made for the sake of the corporal in species of your organic biological types that make up planets like Popstar. These will have you—"
"Say what?!" demanded Dedede forgetting his proper façade a moment as he leaned over his plate and nearly knocked over his wine as he smacked the table.
With eyes closed placidly, Escargoon could not help but mutter after swallowing a mouthful of food, "Be careful, Mr. Haltmann, His Majesty is very restricted in his use of diction."
The king stared at Escargoon for a few seconds as he tried to figure out what exactly his own servant had just said, but he quickly hid his confusion in a rigorous nod, "Right, so whatever you gotta offer, you can just show us all after we eat! I wanna see more of them robots and computer gizmos! Then we'll set up in town right away afterwards!"
Mr. Haltmann shrugged.
"As you wish, Your Majesty. I will show you all the latest recreational products."
"That's more like it!" exclaimed Dedede.
There was a very queer sort of smile in Susie's eyes, and just a very slight mocking amusement shining in them.
#
So right away after eating, everything was cleared away, and in the king's throne room Mr. Haltmann had all but a stage set up for his performance. Though, as he was far advanced in holographic videos he hardly needed one. All he needed was room to show the life-sized images at all angles from little round projectors which the Waddle Dees were ordered to place on the floor.
The best seat in the house, of course, was reserved for the king upon his throne, and Escargoon stood at the throne's side. To remain impressive, though, Dedede made sure what there was of his court and every Waddle Dee also had ample opportunity to witness the performance as well. This meant simply the cabinet minister and his family and Meta Knight with his subordinates were present aside from Waddle Dees. It was one of the few times in ages that King Dedede wished he had not fired the rest of the cabinet members so that he could have looked more impressive now, but then official visitors to Dream Land were not exactly common.
Besides he forgot everyone else rather quickly once the lights dimmed and the show began.
First Mr. Haltmann with Susie assisting went through a few basics of what the Haltmann Works Company was just as Susie had already elaborated on.
Already King Dedede had to yawn about that, but as soon as it was over and the holographic images began to gleam and spin in the darkened throne room he grew far more interested, and everyone gasped and oo-ed and ah-ed very impressed with the vehicles, the daily conveniences, and the games. In the background ever present the Haltmann instrumental theme triumphed over all except the voices of Susie and Mr. Haltmann.
"Hey, I wouldn't mind having one of those virtual reality games!" exclaimed Tuff suddenly thrusting his finger out at one of the images.
"Maybe for your birthday, darling," said Lady Like.
Tuff pouted.
"Well, I don't think we need any of that kind of stuff," muttered Tiff, even though how environmentally friendly everything was even got her to thinking, especially the clean garbage disposal units and the clean electricity and the clean vehicles.
She may not have wanted most of what she saw for herself, but she certainly knew it could potentially help other people in her community live more environmentally friendly lives.
"I wouldn't mind having one of those mental messagers," remarked Sir Ebrum musing with a hand to his chin. "If it really relieves stress, that is."
"And who doesn't have stress under King Dedede," agreed Lady Like despite herself.
Escargoon had relaxed as well as he smiled and remarked, "Sire! It's like all the things you used to expect when you thought you could order conveniences from a monster compa—Fflah!"
Quite reflexively, King Dedede had promptly whacked Escargoon with his mallet and knocked him down flat on his face.
"I think I need that mental messager more than anyone here," murmured Escargoon with a moan as he slowly picked himself back up. "And an eye and head messager too."
"Quiet, you! I'm trying to listen," growled King Dedede.
Mr. Haltmann and Susie stopped briefly.
"Would you like us to go over that part again, Your Majesty?" asked Susie with a bow.
"No! Go on where you were!"
"Very good, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann and continued in a strong voice, "We would lastly like to bring your attention to the line of robots that we have manufactured."
"Hmph," grumbled Tiff so that only her family could hear; although as the Haltmann theme had suddenly grown more triumphant than ever, that was not a difficult thing to do. "I knew there was going to be something wrong."
"What's wrong with a robot?" demanded Tuff.
"If everyone in town got a robot just think what would happen."
"Everyone would have more time to do fun stuff," teased Tuff.
Tiff crossed her arms and said no more.
Besides the king was very pleased and as usual had the opposite sentiment from Tiff.
"I'm gunna have to get me one of those robots too," said Dedede; he was already getting himself one of a good many things that had been displayed.
"Could I have one too?" asked Escargoon.
"Fine but you're gunna pay for it yourself."
Escargoon frowned. "But the king gets everything—"
"Free, for a limited time only," said Susie suddenly. "Yes, this is true, but I'm very sorry that we can only extend this generous offer to one person and it cannot extend to even the most important under His Majesty." She bowed apologetically.
"Yeah! I'm the most important one here, so I deserve the benefits!" remarked Dedede with a laugh. "You're just a servant."
"But you will still benefit from all the advancements made to His Majesty's kingdom perhaps more than everyone else being so close to him, Sir," said Susie.
Escargoon rolled his eyes gave a slight pout.
"Hmm."
He still did not like Susie.
"But I still get a percentage of everything everybody buys right?" demanded Dedede.
"Of course, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann. "Fifteen percent on most items to be used for the good of the kingdom."
"Of course," grumbled Escargoon.
"Of course!" laughed Dedede. "I want my citizens to be happy and my kingdom to be flourishing, ain't that right, my court!?"
"Of course, Your Majesty!" exclaimed Waddle Doo and Escargoon in relative unison and the Waddle Dees bowed in perfect harmony.
Lady Like and Sir Ebrum also agreed, though, in the back of their minds having a similar sentiment to Meta Knight who said, "If that is the true intent, then of course."
NOTE: the music playing at the meal is King Dedede's Theme Version 2 from Super Smash Bros Wii U