JMJ
Chapter Three: The Abduction Store
"With your permission, Your Highness, I will take my leave now," said Mr. Haltmann once the show was over, "I apologize for not staying longer. I am needed in the Mother Ship to oversee my work in person, but as I have promised you, I leave you in the good hands of my secretary Susie who will help decide the best place to install the store and explain any further information to you."
"I will do all in my power to serve you, Your Majesty," said Susie with an enthusiastic bow.
"I like this service already! You're free to go, Mr. Haltmann," said Dedede, and with a chuckle he added to his sidekick, "Remind me to tip 'em before they leave, hey, Escargoon?"
He nudged him in the rib.
"As you wish, Sire," agreed Escargoon as emotionlessly as he ever could muster, which was a difficult feat for him so that it came across as ever-so-slightly forlorn.
"Yo, Waddle Doo! See that this fine Mr. Haltmann is accompanied all proper-like to the platform, will you?"
"At once, Your Majesty," said Waddle Doo with a bow.
"Good evening, Your Majesty," said Mr. Haltmann. "Thank you for the kingly hospitality."
"And a mighty fine evening to you!" returned Dedede. "It was our pleasure!"
Hardly had Mr. Haltmann left the room, when King Dedede wasted no time in turning to Susie to say, "And Escargoon here will make up your room and show you to it later!"
"Wha—?" Escargoon's eyes widened.
"That's very gracious of you, Your Majesty," bowed Susie.
Although no one paid attention to him, Escargoon grumbled something inaudible.
"And first thing tomorrow you'll be headed to Cappy Town to find the best place to put in my store! I appoint Tiff as the official guide!" King Dedede said.
"Me?" gasped Tiff.
"Who else can talk someone's ear off about the cultural quaintness of Cappy Town better than you, honey?" mocked Escargoon lightly. "Miss Susie will have loads of fun with you and all your little Cappy pals."
Now Tiff was the one who looked disgruntled despite herself as she crossed her arms at the snail, and Escargoon held up his head now satisfied that someone was as annoyed as he was even if it was only Tiff.
"Right!" snapped Dedede. "And I'll have no back talk from any of you."
"Well, Tiff does—" Sir Ebrum started.
"Didn't you hear His Majesty?" warned Escargoon.
"Ah…It's okay," said Tiff forcing the annoyance out of her face, and she smiled at Susie in her best friendly smile. "I'll be happy to show Susie around."
Susie gave a pleasant nod. "I don't want to be a bother, of course, especially to a juvenile."
"She's no ordinary juvenile," muttered Escargoon.
"No, no, really it's alright," Tiff insisted brightly.
Dedede nodded. "That's more like it! I'll be checking in on how things are going in my brand new hover car, later!" he laughed. "Now how's about we get some dinner around here, I'm starving!"
#
So, next morning right after breakfast and Susie giving the instruction manual on how to use the newly arrived hover car teleported to the roof of the castle, Tiff, along with Tuff, went with Susie to Cappy Town. They had not gone far before Kirby joined the company.
"Poyo!" he exclaimed.
Susie's stopped advancing to look at the queer little creature as the children ran to meet him.
"What is it?" asked Susie hesitantly when Tiff and Tuff brought him to the road.
"It's Kirby!" Tuff said.
"He's our friend," Tiff added, and turning to Kirby, she said, "Go say hello to Susie, Kirby."
"Poyo!" said Kirby eager to meet a new friend and hurried up to Susie so candidly and familiarly, that Susie could not help but take a pace backward.
"Oh, uh, hello, Kirby," she said.
"Poyo! Poyo!" said Kirby happily.
"He likes you already," Tiff laughed.
For the first time Susie's laugh was a little uneasy, but she soon overcame her uncertainty and said, "What an unusual native for Popstar."
"Oh, he's not a really a native," said Tuff with a shrug.
"But he's just as welcome as one now," said Tiff.
"He saved all of Dream Land from NME!" said Tuff. "He's a hero."
Tiff made a face as she was not sure if they should tell Susie all of that.
"NME?" asked Susie in surprise, but she winced at Kirby doubtfully.
"But now we're living peacefully," said Tiff quickly.
Susie smiled queerly and then shrugged, "Well, that would explain why he is so different from the other natives here. I suppose the king would be upset if we tarried long, though. We should continue to Cappy Town, right, and find a suitable location for the store?"
"Pfft, the king's always upset," said Tuff. "You shoulda seen him last week when we—"
"Tuff," said Tiff.
"What?"
"Hmm, he seemed like a very jolly old soul to me," remarked Susie with some humor as they all continued on their way.
Tuff laughed and even Tiff had to laugh a little.
Susie's own laugh was cut short though when Kirby bounced excitedly in front of her, and she gasped.
Tiff sighed.
Well, she would be bound to learn about Kirby soon enough in such an open town like Cappy Town anyway. As for King Dedede, she was not exactly sure why she had suddenly wanted to hide the fact about what a despot he was. Maybe she could not help but wish things were as "quaint" as Susie supposed. Maybe that was even part of the reason why she wanted to conceal who Kirby was too. It occurred to her on the rest of the way to Cappy Town how actually pleasant it would be if the kingdom was run by better rulers like in the great old days of Dream Land for those many generations before her, but then, had that been so, she would have never met Kirby. Come to think of it she never would have met Meta Knight either, and both Kirby and Meta Knight were two of her best friends in the whole universe.
But all in all, she just really wanted to relax now that NME and his monsters had been defeated. She wanted to believe that nothing bad would happen with Haltmann Works Company. The longer she was with Susie the more she could not bring herself to think wrongly of her. Unless it really was that Tiff could not allow herself to relax, because she secretly wanted excitement.
Could she really be bored despite her desires for a peaceful life?
No, she thought firmly and shaking her head. No. Just enjoy the present.
Once in Cappy Town everyone was very curious to see Susie as strangers even from their own planet were so rare save for a few Cappies from the neighboring villages with goods to exchange. She met Mayor Len Blustergas who gave her a very hearty small-town welcome with his wife Hana. Of course, she had to be introduced to Kawasaki so that she could have that singular experience of eating at his restaurant. After having been shocked by the fact that the chef with so simple ingredients mixed them together so horribly so that even if one tried to make food that bad they would not be able to, Susie was led to Mr. Curio's to recover. She seemed quite fascinated by the artifacts he had gathered now that there were no monsters to come through and wreck his finds.
"These really should be housed in safer containment units than glass cupboards and bare shelves," Susie remarked.
"Well!" said Mr. Curio rather embarrassed. "I would except that uh—well—see, funds are, well…"
"King Dedede doesn't fund him," said Tuff simply.
"Oh, how sad," said Susie, "and His Majesty seemed to be proud of his culture and history when I met him."
Mr. Curio stared, unable to hide his disbelief. "King Dedede?"
"Well, never mind, you do have a collection to be proud of, and," Susie said, "when we set up our store, you can use a discount coupon for proper containment units of our own design if that helps."
"Why, uh, yes," said Mr. Curio. "Yes, it would in fact. Thank you, Miss Susie."
"It is only my job, Professor."
And it was a job she obviously took very seriously, because she had already said similar things to a great many people in town such as a special learning system that could teach Kawasaki step by step instructions on recipes with a robot assistant, and a way to install a clean fueling unit instead of the gas station at Gus's—a fuel that not only was cleaner to burn but also better contained so that explosions would be rarer. There would be access to the greatest and latest toys to Gengu at his toy store and ways of storing food for a longer period of time at Tuggle's.
To Chief Bookem she said, "Your prisoner would escape less often if you took advantage of our security systems. I will give you a discount coupon for that as well, if you wish."
Of course, he took it.
By the time they had gone through most of the businesses in town, everyone had a coupon of some kind and everyone had a very high opinion of the pleasantly helpful and pretty Susie, except maybe the kleptomaniac Doron in prison.
Honey's mother even made them a late lunch after Susie had given her a coupon for advanced home appliances, and all the children in town could not wait to show their parents all the coupons for the toys Susie offered them.
"She's a little obsessed with her job, though, don't you think, Tiff?" asked Tuff although he was happily hanging onto a coupon of his own.
"A little," Tiff said, "but I suppose she has to take her job seriously with Mr. Haltmann as a boss, cuz he seems like a pretty serious guy, and, of course, King Dedede. I'm sure she already guessed before we got to Cappy Town that he's not someone you want to make angry."
"Does that mean you're not suspicious anymore, Tiff?"
"Not of Susie, no," said Tiff.
"How come you don't have a coupon?" Tuff demanded. "Even Kirby's got one; although I don't think he knows what it's for."
Tiff made a face. "Just because I think Susie's honest enough, doesn't mean I like the idea of that store being here."
"Touchy," said Tuff.
After all, it was straight after lunch that Susie was discussing with the mayor and the police chief where would be the best place for the store.
"It's going to have to be a pretty large store, I would think, to fit everything you say will be in stock," said the Mayor.
"Maybe we should put it on the road along the way to the castle," suggested Chief Bookem.
"As long as it doesn't cut into my property," said the Mayor.
"It would block the view of the castle," said Tuggle. "That would be good."
"Oh, no, no," said Susie with a twinkly sort of laugh. "The store won't be bigger than the grocer's already here. In fact it will be much smaller."
"But then how will you fit everything inside it?" demanded the Mayor. "Are you so advanced a race that you can shrink everything?"
"Don't be silly, Mr. Mayor," said Susie and paused. "Well, actually we technically can shrink and grow anything we want to, but this store is a virtual store with several 3D monitors in which customers can see everything in our inventory from every angle and in every model. Then once something's ordered it will be directly transported to you."
"Like an abduction ship on a TV show only instead of abducting you it sends something to you?" asked Kawasaki. "That sounds fun!"
Everyone close by heartily agreed.
"It sounds an awful lot like Nightmare Enterprises' transmitter in Dedede's throne room," remarked Tiff as she sat with Tuff and Kirby on the jail porch.
"Hey, at least it won't be hurting the environment then," Tuff replied swinging his feet idly. "Besides it's not like it is Nightmare Enterprises. Kirby defeated them, and I always did think it would be fun to try it some more after we got to use it for our way home."
Tiff raised a brow, "Really?"
But Tuff was eating an ice-cream-filled orange popsicle he got from the grocery store and he did not answer. Besides it was just at that point that a great crowd of Cappies had gathered around making the street a big commotion. It was almost hard to hear what the Mayor, Chief Bookem and Susie were saying, and Tiff really did want to hear. So she jumped off the porch with Kirby at her heals after popping his own snack into his mouth. Tuff was not far behind, and together the trio got closer to hear.
"Well, all I have to say is that it's about time Cappy Town joined the rest of the universe technologically," the Mayor was saying.
"I couldn't agree more," said Mr. Curio. "It was leaving us way too open for attack from outsiders like in the incident with those monsters, and it will save a lot of energy and time in my work."
Some of the others agreed quickly also.
"But how long will it take to build it?" asked Gus.
"Oh, it's already built," said Susie. "It only has to land here."
"Land here? So it is a ship?" gasped Kawasaki.
Susie shrugged with a little laugh, "Sort of, and it will arrive right after I give the okay to the Mother Ship once His Majesty has approved the location of your choice."
"Well, then just give us the exact specs and we'll find the perfect spot," said Chief Bookem.
Susie was just about to give them, but a crash suddenly sounded nearby from the direction of the castle. Everyone stopped at once to look just as an Escargoon-like shriek followed it. After a few seconds of silence there came a swooping sound too. As all eyes raised to the sky a strange vehicle in made a dive like a swallow after plunging straight up a ways. This time both King Dedede and Escargoon could be heard; though King Dedede sounded more angry than scared.
The king's voice carried just enough to make out the words, "What's the matter, can't you read instructions!"
"At least I read at all!" came the reply.
The vehicle disappeared again behind a hill, but Cappy Town was then distracted further by the sound of sheep baaing as they hurried quite frightened towards the town along the road.
Kirby cocked his head. "Poyo?"
"My sheep!" gasped the Mayor.
"Maybe this isn't the best time to speak of such things, Mr. Mayor," said Susie lifting a finger, "but I can also give you information on sturdier fencing which we sell, but since I already gave you a coupon I cannot give you another one."
"By all means that will be the first thing on my list of things to buy!" exclaimed the Mayor.
The sheep swamped around everyone and mostly passed them by. Just as the herdsman came running down the road after them however the hover car suddenly burst onto the scene barging in front of him. Had it been a wheeled vehicle it would have run the herdsman down. Instead he merely fell flat on his face clasping his head and just missed getting hit by the front bumper.
Covered in leaves and clothes stuck to clothes lines as well as feathers and vines and even a little sea water and seaweed, the hovercraft at last came to a squealing halt just in front of the town's great central tree in the square. The craft itself looked completely undamaged although very dirty, but the chauffer and important passenger looked at least tousled if not a little hurt. They were also covered in vines and seaweed and mud and were gasping heavily with eyes wide in front of them.
"I told you we should have asked Susie first!" cried Escargoon suddenly.
Dedede glowered out in front of him for a few seconds and then unexpectedly gave Escargoon a good sock in the eyes.
"You were supposed to be reading the instructions! I thought you were supposed to be educated!"
Moaning, Escargoon caressed his sore eyes and eyestalk before turned to the king, "Instructions don't tell you the feel of the vehicle, Sire."
King Dedede growled and threw a large piece of seaweed from his head and adjusted his crown.
"Well, you're gunna spend the rest of this week figuring out that feel, you got it?!"
"Yes, Sire," Escargoon whimpered.
"And make it presentable again too," King Dedede added.
Escargoon only sulked and slumped in his seat.
With another low growl, King Dedede opened the sliding door and water poured out as he stepped out onto the road with wet feet slapping everywhere he stepped and a dripping robe. One would almost think he had gone to follow the ways of his ancestors and had taken a dive in the ocean for a fishy snack before getting here.
"What are you all looking at!?" snarled the king at the Cappies, and he shook his fist dangerously.
"Oh, uh! Nothing, Your Majesty!" exclaimed the Mayor.
"Nothing at all, Sire!" annunciated Biblio, the bookstore owner.
"We were just about to decide where the best place to put the Haltmann Store would be," Chief Bookem added.
Kirby came by in front of the king riding a sheep and patting its head affectionately.
"Outa the way, stupid Kirby!" snapped King Dedede, and he made an attempt to whack him with the mallet he had brought in case everyone in Cappy Town was making a fuss about his store. "No one invited you here!"
But Kirby promptly leapt off the sheep and floated down cheerfully as though it was just part of a game.
"Hey! It's not Kirby's fault!" snapped Tiff. "Don't take it out on him!"
"His Majesty has a right to be miffed!" snapped Escargoon in return, apparently recovered from his funk as he suddenly slid onto the scene with a line of mud trailing behind him. "After everything the king's trying to do for you people, advancing your way of life and all, and all you ever do is accuse him and bad-mouth him! You're all ungrateful slugs! And Kirby's just getting in the way! It's not like he hurt the little blubber ball. His Majesty is the one that got hurt and does anyone care?"
"It gives a king the feeling that he's not appreciated in his own kingdom!" agreed Dedede after blinking strangely at the snail for a few seconds.
"Or at least they appreciate Kirby more," Escargoon muttered crossing his arms.
As the crowd began to murmur, Tiff opened her mouth to say something, but remembering Susie she changed her mind.
Susie meanwhile glanced at Kirby, and Kirby cocked his head curiously back at her. As their eyes met, Susie blinked and turned away.
Then the Mayor cleared his throat, "Ahem, but we really do appreciate everything that you've been doing now, Your Majesty, and you certainly deserve all the respect of being our king! Isn't that right, everyone?"
Blinking in surprise, everyone else quickly agreed.
"Besides, let's not forget our pleasant guest!" said the Mayor suddenly clasping his hands together and turning to that guest in question.
"I'm afraid we aren't leaving a very good impression of our kingdom behaving like this," admitted his wife Hana.
Again everyone agreed.
"We apologize, Miss Susie," said Mr. Curio gentlemanly.
Susie blushed. "Well, it's all alright, really. The hover car does take some getting used to, and a king has a right to get frustrated. It's only natural that a town get frustrated as well about the honest mistakes of a ruler."
Dedede smiled at her and then straightened importantly. "Not that there were ever that many of those!" he declared.
"Of course not, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow. "Perhaps you would just like to choose the spot yourself, Your Majesty."
"As a matter of fact I would!" retorted the king, and after musing a little and tapping his chin, he said, "I think it should go right there!"
"In the middle of the road, Your Majesty?" asked the Mayor.
"No, don't be stupid, Mr. Mayor!" laughed Dedede. "Right where that tree is right in the middle of town so everyone can have easy access to it!"
The townspeople hesitated and looked at each other uncomfortably. It was likely that Dedede said this to get back at the town and they knew it. He also was probably testing them, for he watched them very carefully.
"Does anyone have a problem with that?" asked Escargoon smugly; he eyed Tiff especially.
Tiff crossed her arms with a huff but said nothing for the moment.
"Well, if this tree bears some historical or cultural significance," said Susie then quite observant of the crowd, "there's no reason why it cannot be preserved, after all."
Everyone looked at the king hopefully.
"Well…" mused Dedede fully aware of his citizens' anticipation, and he grinned closing his eyes as he made them wait. "Alright, for the sake of my people and their history and culture, which I one hundred percent endorse! We can have it right at the front of town then in its own circle with the road fixed to go round it!"
The Cappies cheered their king.
"That's more like it," Escargoon sniffed.
Tiff breathed a sigh of relief. Her opinion of Susie had become much higher after that.