JMJ
Chapter Five: The Good Old Days Go Futuristic
"Now how much is something like this going to cost?" demanded Escargoon.
"Well, it is the best of the line," Susie admitted, "but, as I said, I will give it to His Majesty for a discount."
"Yeah, well, I know I thing or two about tricking people with discounts, I'll have you know, Miss Susie," retorted Escargoon. "Jacking up prices and then putting products on supposed discounts for people that are ignorant and don't know that they're paying the actual price is kid stuff."
"Oh, I can assure you we are most beyond such things," Susie tittered.
With a sideways glance Escargoon said, "How can we be sure?"
Although he had been ignoring Escargoon up until this point as he was admiring the view and chuckling at the image in his mind of a giant robot fist with lasers on every knuckle squashing and burning his long-time enemy, King Dedede suddenly blinked with annoyance and spun around with a snort.
"I thought I told you shuddup, Escargoon! This thing is a necitation for the kingdom!"
Escargoon winced. "A what?"
Dedede made a swipe at the snail, but he somehow managed to slip his grasp.
As Dedede was about to try another lunge, Escargoon let out a cry and put Susie in between him and the king; though there was plenty of space between him and Susie still. Dedede paused and although growled a little again, he suddenly looked thoughtful, and tapping his beak he then said, "So how's this thing activated?"
"Voice command," said Susie. "Although I do have a hard copy of the manual it will be cheaper if I just download it to Mr. Escargoon's device. Are you sure you're happy and wish make a purchase, Your Majesty?"
"Yes, I am!" said Dedede staunchly. "Escargoon. Make the exchange!"
Escargoon sighed. "Yes, Sire."
After the exchange was made, Dedede then said, "Now, Susie."
He smiled at her smugly as he tried to look dignified again. He wrapped a hand around Susie's slim shoulders and gently led her to the stairs.
"I'm sure you have a lot of other things you need to do today," King Dedede went on cheerfully, "like see how Sir Ebrum's new toaster oven thing's working out for him."
"Oh, of course, Your Majesty, but only if you're sure you don't need anything else."
"No, I think we're pretty good here," said Dedede.
"Yes, Your Majesty," said Susie with a bow and promptly withdrew.
With a grand posture and hands wrapped neatly behind his back, King Dedede remained. That lazy smile on his face grew somewhat spaced out, but otherwise he waited patiently until she was quite out of sight. Escargoon may have eyed him strangely, but Dedede completely disregarded him. Then once Dedede felt satisfied that Susie was far enough away he spun around and grabbed Escargoon around the eyestalk and pulled him towards the robot. He laughed gleefully and Escargoon let out a cry before the king threw him down beside him.
"Now get that computer pad thing and read those instructions she downloaded into it!" Dedede ordered rubbing his hands together.
"You wanna send it out in broad daylight, Your Majesty?" demanded Escargoon. "You were just saying yesterday that you were sick of everyone thinking about Kirby and hating you."
"Better to think of him as the dearly de-parted if they're gunna think of him at all," chuckled Dedede. "It's gunna be just like them good old days, ain't it, Escargoon?"
He grabbed him around the shoulders for another hearty laugh.
Escargoon frowned darkly with eyes just above his computer pad held in front of his face. "What good old days?"
"When it was you and me with all the monsters we could throw at that Kirby!" grinned the king as he released his hold on his servant.
"Oh!" said Escargoon with a roll of his eyes. "You mean the good old days when we got billions of Ds in debt just to get blown up and splatted and squashed, spiked, burned, froze, and mashed, bloated and creamed and humiliated every other day when Kirby defeated your monsters? Those good old days, Sire?"
By the end Escargoon was speaking through his teeth as he bristled at the idea of suggesting that any of those days could begin to compete with the worst of days in these past two peaceful years before Susie appeared.
Dedede was not really listening, and he said just as eagerly as before, "Yeah, those good old days."
Escargoon moaned and rubbed the top of his eyelids as he didn't actually have temples. "Isn't there a better way to channel your hyperactivity? Maybe a modernized version of croquet would be better, after all." He shook his head and muttered to himself, "At least a non-sentient robot can't bite the hand that feeds it."
"Just read those instructions and quit your whining!"
"Yes, Sire," said Escargoon. He cleared his throat and looked down at the pad. He caused the screen to go holographic again as he mused over what to do to use the king's new expensive toy.
"Besides, this time we'll catch Kirby unaware," said Dedede thrusting up a finger. "We'll be sure to get him!" He clenched his hand into a fist and his teeth into a grin.
"Whatever you say, Your Majesty," said Escargoon inattentively. "Now let's see here." And he began to read out loud, "'Voice activation'…" He made a face as he murmured on a little bit.
"What?" demanded Dedede.
"I just noticed the disclaimer," Escargoon retorted. "It says here that they claim the right to have no responsibility for any injury or damage caused by any misuse on the client's part with the power this robot contains."
"Well, ain't that just perfect!" laughed Dedede.
#
It was evening however before the robot attacked, not because Escargoon convinced him otherwise, but because Escargoon took his time with instructions and pretended they were more complicated than they actually were. They could have had the robot activated and programmed for the task at hand within moments, but he made it last hours. At last Dedede's temper could take it no more.
The robot was released and King Dedede and Escargoon were atop their favorite balcony with binoculars to see the action.
Fortune seemed on Dedede's side at first too because Kirby had turned in early, and the robot was quieter than it appeared it could be as it hovered across the hill towards the tree and hut. Just as it was about to crush the tree with Kirby flat however, Takori suddenly took note of the light of the robot's eyes suddenly in the window, for he had turned in early just to sleep on his new bed.
First he blinked sleepily and muttered something half in a dream, but in a double-take he quickly saw that nothing ordinary was outside, and he screamed.
"Ack! We're being abducted! We're being abducted! Help! Kirby! Where is that boy when I need him!?"
He flew out of the hut and Kirby woke up. Although a little disoriented he leapt away. The robot, seeing that its enemy had moved, lasered instead, and singed many leaves in its line of fire and nearly singed the top of Kirby's head. The laser went far into the distance, scorching the ground for what looked like nearly a mile.
On the castle balcony where the two villains watched, King Dedede roared with laughter and said, "Would you look at that fire power!"
"Yeah, but its movements are kinda sluggish compared to Kirby's."
"Stop being a downer!" snapped Dedede smacking his servant on the head several times in a row with his fist. "This is gunna work! I can feel it! Can't you?"
"It's hard to feel anything else with permanent lumps on a person's head!"
Back with Kirby, who was wide awake now between the robot and Takori fluttering in his face for him to do something, recovered from his shock completely and was ready to take on the foe immediately. He apparently had not lost anything in those two years of peace even if he was still very perturbed by such an unexpected attack after so long. But still he had no weapon to fight back with.
Kirby dodged as well as he could the blows and the laser fire.
"Kirby!" shouted Takori still fluttering about as the robot attacked. "Don't lead it back to the tree! Don't let it crush the house! Kirby! Watch out for yourself!"
On the balcony Dedede was laughing now and Escargoon in the heat of the moment could not help but join him even with the ill ease prickling his mind and swimming in his stomach—hey, his entire career at the castle had been based upon ignoring such things.
On the ground Kirby was panting and sweating before long, and suddenly the robot had a new tactic. It shot out what looked like acidic balls. One, two, three, they struck the ground and melted the grass and scorched everything it landed on into a disgusting oozing muddy slop that smelled foul and steamed and bubbled. Then a forth one skimmed Kirby.
"Poyo!" cried Kirby flinging backwards in pain.
"Kirby! There's gotta be something he's shooting atchya that you can suck up!"
With a puckered brow, Kirby nodded.
The fifth time an acid ball fired and Kirby did just that. Although Takori had not a clue what weapon Kirby was flinging back at the robot it quickly turned the tables and that was good enough for him. It was good enough for Kirby too.
On the balcony, Escargoon lowered his binoculars.
"Um, Sire?"
"I thought I told you to quit bellyaching," said Dedede.
"But I think the fight's coming dangerously close to the—"
CRASH! Right into the castle wall. It was the outer wall, but it certainly caused an effect—not to mention that it crashed right through the wall and rolled onto the castle grounds.
#
Tiff gasped from the sound and ran to her bedroom window to throw it open. She had not been asleep yet and had already been wondering what the sounds were outside before the crash into the wall.
There was quite suddenly a fight on the castle grounds. She could hear Kirby yelling at the monstrous robot. For a moment she nearly thought it must be a monster as she could hear in the distance Dedede laughing when Kirby got hit and both Dedede and Escargoon crying out when Kirby hurt the robot and it rammed into a wall causing the whole castle to shake and stones to fall, but she quickly remembered everything that had been going on recently with Dedede and Haltmann Works Company.
"I knew something like this was going to happen!"
"Tiff!" shouted the voice of Takori suddenly as he landed in her windowsill.
"Takori?"
After catching his breath, Takori said, "Where did that stinkin' robot come from?!"
"Isn't it obvious? From Haltmann Works Company," said Tiff angrily. "I knew that nothing Dedede finds can be good in the end."
Tuff poked his head out of his window too at about this time, and since Tiff's and Tuff's bedrooms were close enough they could see each other now.
"But what would Haltmann Works Company have against Kirby?" he said.
"Come on!" said Tiff.
And both Tiff and Tuff hurried out of their rooms. Their parents were up as well looking out a window of the door to the balcony from the living room of the family quarters; for they had not quite yet gone to bed.
"Now, now, Tiff, where do you think you're going?" demanded Sir Ebrum.
"To help Kirby!" exclaimed Tiff.
"If you go out there, the only thing you'll do is help yourself get squashed," said Sir Ebrum. "I've been giving a lot of thought about you running straight into danger."
"We've talked about it together," agreed Lady Like.
Sir Ebrum nodded. "And—"
"But, Dad!" Tiff and Tuff both said together.
Another crash sounded and a strange explosion. The whole family rushed to the balcony, and although they could not quite see the robot, save for a few pieces scattered about, they did see Kirby bouncing quite happy by the defeat and ready to return to bed.
"Kirby!" called Tiff.
"Poyo!" Kirby waved his little nub-like hands back at her.
"Is the robot dead?" asked Tuff.
"Poyo! Poyo!" called Kirby excitedly.
"Come up here, Kirby!" called Lady Like. "You can stay with us tonight if you like."
"By all means! A hero's reward!" called Sir Ebrum.
Suddenly Takori flew in front of their faces.
"No way!" he cried angrily. "He's staying with me!"
Zipping down towards Kirby he said, "You're gunna share a spot on my new bed and be my guard all night long so I can relax knowing I have a guard watching the place!"
Kirby cocked his head. "Poyo?"
"Now c'mon, I'm beat!"
Kirby followed Takori out of the hole in the outer wall.
"But what happened to the rest of the robot?" asked Tiff once Kirby was out of sight.
#
The king's balcony was destroyed and the broken pieces of stone and robot lay in a pile on the ground below. There came a moan from beneath the rubble, and as the stones moved and the heads of King Dedede and Escargoon emerged bruised and sore, Escargoon collapsed on a flat piece of metal in front of him.
King Dedede simply stared wide-eyed out in front of him with clenched teeth.
"Are these the old times you meant, Your Majesty?" Escargoon asked wearily.
A twitch appeared in Dedede's brow, and he closed his eyes. After a few seconds he punched Escargoon in the top of the eyes.
"Eeegh!" Escargoon grabbed his bruises.
#
"The robot was a failure!" said Susie.
She had used her teleportation device hidden in her room to reach the ship. Now she hovered with arms crossed and eyes glaring with as much of a pout as she could have without a mouth at a certain scientist, head of one of the divisions named Dr. Kyle. She would have been tapping her foot had she had one, but either way the scientist looked rather unperturbed as he glanced unhurriedly up at Susie from his work with a worm specimen on a desk.
Although the walls were gleaming white, the lights were dim giving everything a hygienic bluish cast, because even Susie's race needed to rest now and then and most of the scientists were in bed. Dr. Kyle looked like he would rather have been in bed himself, but they had a schedule to hasten with additional factors besides.
Dr. Kyle, although had a slight lazed sort of look about him most of the time, also carried himself with a poise that was just as commendable as Susie's regardless of being tired. He also had a very piercing sort of stare as he actually possessed a visible pair of reddish pupils (these matched the color of his coat and helmet; and looked quite well-planned with his yellow tie), which penetrated his surroundings in a way that seemed to prove that very little could get past him despite his laid-back expressions.
"Well, pure robotics isn't my department," he said with a shrug. "Mechinizing creatures that already have at least an instinct to begin with is where my specialty lies, as you probably know full well, Miss Susie, and I've been busy keeping to my work with my research on those 'dangerous' woods."
To demonstrate he poked at the work with a tweezers to show the liquid metallic hide he had already coated it with.
"Well, it can't be blamed on the Mother Computer," said Susie.
"Perish the thought," remarked Kyle.
Susie frowned the harder at his tone. "Sometimes, I think you don't take what we do here seriously enough."
"Oh, by all means, I hardly think that the taking of an entire planet and transforming its delicately balanced life systems a slight matter, Miss Susie," he said with a tone of voice that was difficult to decipher whether he meant it or just enjoyed teasing her. The amusement in his voice told Susie at least that he enjoyed the reaction she always gave with such talk if nothing else. "But, hey, since we are so concerned about Kirby, you may want to keep up the game a little more. They may make feeble use of what actually serves as their faculties in Dream Land, but the natives will get restless if they start to think you fled the scene of the crime."
"Oh!" Susie growled. "Just make sure that mechanizing mini-processor is ready by morning."
"Already there, Miss Susie," said Kyle smiling smugly with his eyes. "I just announced commencement of this next phase to our kingly lord of time and space himself. You trust that he has the power to crush the competition, don't you? If you want my advice I think you need to relax. You're way too uptight, and being uptight, then something's bound to go wrong again."
Susie turned away with a huff.
She went back to the transport-pad to return to her room and act as surprised as everyone else, and horrified that the king would misuse Haltmann equipment in such a reckless fashion.
#
It was very early when Tiff left her family's quarters. The sun had not quite risen, but Tiff herself had been going in and out of sleep all night. She doubted anyone else could get a good night's sleep after that robot fiasco either, but everything was very quiet now. The corridors felt ominous and stuffy. She wanted to go outside and maybe meander over to Kirby's house in time to greet him when he woke up. However as she stepped down the corridor listening to the echoes of her footsteps she suddenly heard another pair of footsteps very close behind her.
She gasped in alarm and spun around.
"Meta Knight!" she breathed.
"A little early for you to be up, isn't it?" Meta Knight commented.
"I wanted to get some air. Where were you last night? We could've used your help!"
"Watching," replied Meta Knight with a tone of voice that brought atmosphere to the halls that had just moments before seemed so dead. "Poison Kirby had everything under control."
"But then you gotta know," Tiff said desperately, "and you gotta tell everyone, Meta Knight, that Haltmann Works Company is evil whether they're as bad as Nightmare Enterprises or not!"
"We have no proof that Mr. Haltmann or any of his people knew what King Dedede planned to do with his robot."
"But they are awfully suspicious Meta Knight."
"They're greedy perhaps," said Meta Knight, "but we do not know the extent of the greed enough to prove that they truly have ill intent for Dream Land or Kirby."
"But—"
"Just wait and watch. I will let you know if I find anything substantial for evidence against them."
With that Meta Knight passed her by. The conversation at an abrupt end, Tiff sighed and continued with her plans to visit Kirby.