Chapter 3: Let it all out

Coming back to class after that was a surreal feeling, Marinette had even more trouble paying attention than before. It was mere luck that she noted down anything, her mind reeling back to what had happened during lunch. Mauro had commented that his skill was limited to a certain number of words per day and he would answer any question later, so to have that certainty was a bonus.

She had paid attention to Alya and Nino coming back, apparently happy with the lunch at home, while Adrien arrived somewhat slumped, but composing himself as he entered the classroom. She didn't see signs of Lila and it was only because she had gone home since she was feeling unwell from lunch.

Marinette didn't buy that for one second.

She was relieved when classes were finally over, a little eager to find out how things were going to unfold, she didn't stay long to talk to her friends –again, a weird feeling came to her when she thought of them like that-, because she wanted to get started on the project as soon as possible.

"We were going to go to the library," Nino mentioned, "as we said before lunch?"

"Oh," Marinette didn't know what to say. Even if Lila wasn't there, she still felt uncertain to be hanging out with them like if nothing had happened. Because what if they brought it up and again made it all about how Marinette was in the wrong? And what if Adrien heard it? Would he stand up for her? Or would he keep quiet about it since that was his plan to go?

"Yeah, we can go to Lila's place later to give her the homework she missed out on" Alya added and Marinette felt her stomach dropping even more.

"Marinette!" someone called her from the door and she almost let out all her breath in relief when she saw it was Mauro "sorry, I know you were probably heading home but can I ask for your guidance as class representative?" he clapped his hands together and grinned "I just can't get something about this schedule."

He looked at the other three and for a brief moment, Marinette saw a change in Mauro's eyes, like he was analysing them, reading them? But his smile came back as he waved.

"Oh hi, I didn't catch your names before,"

"Mauro right? So good to have a new classmate, I'm Alya" the girl went to shake his hand, Mauro apologizing for the ink stains "these two are Nino and Adrien."

Mauro waved at them.

"Sorry to cut this short but could I borrow Marinette?" he grinned again "there's this other teacher asking me to give this and I swear I am lost."

Marinette smiled at the other three.

"Maybe next time?" she said as she walked out of the classroom "rain check!"

The others didn't get to give her an answer as she was already gone, Mauro just waving apologetically as he left as well.

He smiled at Marinette and walked with her until they were out of the school, where Marinette pointed at the park that was near her home.

"Did you write that to happen?"

"Hm no," Mauro said "I still have enough for one more paragraph today but that" he pointed behind at the school "that was just a planned coincidence."

Marinette hummed, currently sitting on a bench while looking at the fountain.

"So how would you help me?"

"Well, let's look at the situation from the beginning, the root of the problem."

"So you get to rewrite everything? From the beginning?"

"What? Oh no," he shook his head, "I am not that skilled yet, and that wouldn't be… ideal."

"What do you mean?"

Mauro cracked his knuckles and shook his fingers, stretching them as he tried to put his thoughts in order.

"As I said, writing it to happen is very different from reading it. I have to stick to the rules of your world, of this universe, if you had, for example, a miraculous that could travel back in time then, by all means, I would do that."

"I'm actually glad you won't rewrite it," Marinette said as she looked at her surroundings "even with a bad day, bad moments… I still have plenty of good moments I wouldn't change."

"Which is why I'm only going to help in how you ask me to," Mauro pulled out his notebook and pen "I have enough for one more paragraph, maybe a hundred words?"

"I don't… unless you uncovered all of Lila's lies, but Adrien said-"

Mauro snorted, making her frown at his reaction.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot take him seriously,"

Marinette's squinted more at him, frustration bubbling up in her. She crossed her arms and glared at him, chin high as she spoke.

"And why not?"

"Because…what's the word I want, coyón,"

"Ah?"

"No? I thought I'd have a similar word in French" he frowned "like a coward, yeah."

"W-what?!" Marinette stood up and glared at him "Adrien is not a coward! He is kind and considerate for other people's feelings. He has shown brave moments and-"

"Wow, wait, considerate other people's feelings? Like yours?" Mauro crossed his arms, "please tell me how he did yesterday when he said it was best to keep quiet about this girl lying to everyone than backing you up?"

"I-"Marinette frowned "that's different."

"I'm all ears."

Marinette opened and closed her mouth, trying to come up with something, but nothing came out of her brain. She paced in front of Mauro until she groaned out in frustration and sat back down.

"He thought it would make things worse" Marinette sighed "if Lila got upset, angry even, she would be akumatized for the fourth time."

"But what about you? What about how you felt Marinette?"

She looked down at the ground and clenched her fists, trying to ease her breathing. She had to compose herself, she couldn't lose to the emotions.

Mauro sighed and started to scribble something, scratching out some words and rewriting, muttering to himself as Marinette looked at him and how focused he was on the lines he was creating.

"We will get nowhere if you keep bottling them up like that," he said as he scratched a full line and wrote underneath, "I think that's where we can start."

"You know why I of all people cannot allow myself to be akumatized," Marinette said with a dejected tone "I have to keep my emotions in check."

"Which is why…pérame, almost done," he smiled as he wrote the last word and showed it to her, "I think I can pull this off, what do you think?"

Marinette took the notebook and read the small paragraph, her eyes widening as she checked every word, rereading it to make sure she got it right.

"You can do this?"

Mauro nodded as he took the notebook back, pocketing his pen and staining his shirt with the fresh ink of his fingers.

"Well, I said I was going to be your ally, this is what I can do now, if you want me to, sorry it sounds a little chopped, I had to keep it short."

"No, no," she looked at him "this is… this is good."

"Do you want to try?"

Marinette glanced around the park and to her purse, where Tikki popped her head just to nod encouragingly at her.

"Yes," she said, with more decision in her voice "please."

Mauro nodded and cleared his throat.

"The heroine needed a safe place. Even if it was for a moment, just until the sun disappeared, a bubble away from the ears of the moth that hungered for her humanity, for her right to feel. But creation was her power, and, as manifested from her strong will, the call of the ladybugs came to her aid, offering a shield from the outside world, where only she would reside, free to let all despair out, safe from the evil that lurked in her city, safe to finally let herself go.

She allowed it to engulf her, the warmth of her own magic offering that comfort she so desperately needed…"

Marinette could feel it in her skin, could feel the words wrapping around her as if they were meant for her, she could feel her frustrations, her worries, all of them coming stronger inside her. And for a moment she was starting to panic it wasn't working.

But then, just as how she had read it, just as how Mauro was describing it, she saw the swarm of ladybugs approaching her, just like when she cast the miraculous cure, the ladybugs that shined in red, pink and white light, coming to her side, surrounding where she was seated until she no longer saw the sky above her, or the fountain, not even Mauro who had remained out of the shield of ladybugs.

"It worked," Marinette whispered, a hand stretching out to the wall of ladybugs, her fingers tingling at the warmth from the magic, just like in the paragraph.

"Marinette," Tikki flew out of her purse so she could face her chosen "I can sense this magic, and it works, just like he read it."

"So that means," Marinette felt her throat tight, "that means,"

"Let it out Marinette," Tikki said, a sad smile on her face "let it all out."

Marinette could feel the tears forming in her eyes as she felt all the emotions coming out of her. She let them fall, each tear that came out of frustration, of fear, of betrayal, of anger, all of them came out of her. She sobbed and screamed, hugging herself as she cried them all out.

She cried for the betrayal of her friends, for the loneliness that started to creep in her heart. She yelled for her impotence against Lila, of how she had threatened to take everything and everyone away from her. She could feel Tikki's warm paws consoling her, not saying anything but remaining by her side, allowing her to let out all the feelings she hadn't been able to show because of Hawkmoth's threat to akumatize her because she was Ladybug, the only one who could purify akumas. She embraced the warmth of the ladybug shield that let her be the teenage girl she was, the girl that had been hurt and left to heal for herself.

Marinette didn't know how much time she had spent there, crying until her eyes felt dry and puffy. She pulled a handkerchief from her purse and wiped off the track of tears on her cheeks, giving Tikki a small, tired smile.

"How are you feeling Marinette?" Tikki asked as she picked the handkerchief to help clean Marinette's face "Better? Worse?"

"I…" she held her throat, sore from the yelling she had made "tired Tikki, but, a good tired?" she gave the kwami a small smile "like a weight I had been carried has been lifted from my shoulders."

Tikki smiled, just as the ladybugs started to scatter away, slowly unwrapping themselves from the cocoon they had formed around Marinette until not one was left, leaving Marinette with a cold chill running up her arms as her eyes adjusted to the now lit by lanterns park.

She turned to see Mauro who was sitting cross-legged on the bench, reading with squinted eyes due to the lack of natural light.

"Uhm," she cleared her throat again, catching his attention.

"Oh, hey" he closed his book and uncrossed his legs, wincing as they were numb from the position "how are you feeling?"

"I… I feel a lot better," Marinette smiled at him "thank you so much."

"Don't," he smiled back at her "you needed it, and see? No purple butterflies came,"

Marinette glanced around, surprised at the calmness of the park, no sirens in the distance, no alerts on her phone. Just a nice Parisian evening.

"I should," Marinette cleared her throat again, suddenly feeling vulnerable of being out after her venting "I should probably head back home."

Mauro stood up with her and walked by her side until the door of the bakery, where he just waved at her.

"Tomorrow is Saturday so no school," he said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I think you earned yourself a chill day."

"I guess," she smiled a little "thank you, Mauro."

Mauro smiled back and took a few steps back, "if you want to meet, you have my number."

Marinette actually rolled her eyes as she waved him off and entered her home, greeting her mom on the way to her room where she fell on her bed, her body heavy as lead.

"A chill day huh," she mumbled to the pillow, her eyelids closing with each second "that would be…"

The last word came out as garbled noise, exhaustion finally overtaking the girl as she fell asleep, with no nightmares to cause her harm.