CHAPTER 5
Frank insists I eat the soup, I am so unwell. My stomach hurts so much and he forces me. The pain increases always after I ate.
Astrid is at school, I ask Frank to let stay with me and he refuses, telling Astrid her results aren't good and she cannot miss lessons.
I'm forced in bed, unable to move, to stand up. Io start having moments of unconsciousness, more and more often, until a day I find myself not in my bed but in a strange room, with a bare bulb as source of light, a small bed with a rotting mattress, a hole to pee into and no windows.
Frank arrives and gives me bread, cheese and some water. I'm so weak I cannot get up to go against him.
The place is soundproof, he says, the floor has still some seeds, it's one of the silos that once were full of cereals.
The pain in my stomach subsides, without that horrible soup. Frank notices I'm feeling better and ties me to the wall with handcuffs and a chain. I can only reach the hole, my own bathroom.
When the door opens I cannot launch myself at and hit him, the chain is too short.
He doesn't answers my questions, says only I can shout as much as I want and nobody will hear me.
I try the same, maybe our secret room is close, but this place is huge, there are too many abandoned buildings far from the houses, so nobody answers.
I'm terrified, for myself and for Astrid,
He laughs at me, tells me I smell like an old wet dog.
There is smell, I'm sure, if Astrid should see me now….
I can't say for how long I stay there, and how he takes me out of the village, because suddenly I find myself on a truck.
I decide it is time to dare. I can no longer wait. One morning I am taking a shower, trying to clean myself with cold water and a bar of soap, when Rasmus enters the bathroom and stares at me. I shout him to go away but he doesn't move. He continues to look at my body. I know I'm changing, my chest and hips are different than before, I have to ask for new clothes. .
I need to discover where I live now.
I need to see the distance to the nearest village.
I have an idea.
The jeep is always unlocked so I decide Saturday dinner, when they are more drunken than usual, will be the perfect moment to open the driver's door, while I have to take out the leftovers. For five days the jeep remains unused. Then on Thursday Ole leaves after breakfast and returns with a full load in the middle of the afternoon.
I resist to go see the kilometres he made, impatience is killing me. I touch my bracelet, praying my parents to give me strength.
Around 13 km. I can do it. Carefully. I can make a plan.
I need a map. There is a computer in the third cabin. And I know how to use it. And when.
When everybody is drunk, like it happens every month when the Russians visit. I'll grab that occasion.
The Russians are coming, Ole says, so I need to be sure the second cabin, the bigger one, will be used instead of mine. I go out to collect potatoes for lunch and I use the knife to cut the rubber water pipe, my cabin will not have water for the time being.
Ole shouts and swears, but everybody gather in the second cabin.
I have few minutes to act, after I'll prepare sandwiches, they will eat and nobody will notice my absence for a while.
I leave the cabin sweating cold, but my steps are fast.
I enter the third cabin, go straight to the pc, it is already on. Lucky me, I search the name written on the shopping bag full of fresh fruits Ole bought once and I kept as a treasure.
The distance is right, seven kilometres. I don't dare to print it, I ask my photographic memory to help me. I enlarge the map to see better the road and then reduce it, controlling the names of the villages around. Further south there is the sign of a police station, five more kilometres to go.
Frank always used harsh words against the police at the village, and when he kept me in the silos he was ironic in telling me my father pretended to be such a good policeman and would never find me.
How can my dad find me if he's dead? I'm too scared to hope.
I run away to my cabin and write all the details on a small piece of paper hidden in my sock.
Ole shouts to bring more food, I comply and I see him walking to get more alcohol, he's already unsteady on his legs. I bring him the tray, I see they are quite drunk already; I tell I forgot something to go back inside. I grab my hat and start to run, as fast as I can.
John called, he and Barbara spent the night controlling the data. The hospital records of the area didn't show results for the combination of Anna name, surnames or age at the time of death.
On the phone Henrik found, there are calls to and from a prepaid number, probably foreigner, impossible to trace the owner; John had located its moves, up and down Sweden, from very north to the Stockholm area, also around 100 km north Malmo and once a few days after Anna's reported death.
Linn called a meeting in her office after she questioned Frank again, with no results at all.
"We can ask a psychologist to talk with him."
"We don't need a profile, we need the truth and soon." Saga replied, rolling the box of snugs in her hand; it was empty, just an habit she kept after quitting them.
Henrik was loosing faith in the investigation, the prepaid calls would lead to nothing, he was sure. They couldn't drive all over Sweden hoping to meet the owner of the phone by chance.
John asked more time to examine Frank's computer.
Saga wanted to talk again with Harriet, Henrik refused to take Astrid with them again.
They discovered Harriet met Frank around ten years ago, at a seminar about psychology and assertive behaviour; Frank was one of the moderators and Harriet told him about the village. They remained in touch, Frank visited her once or twice a year, he visibly liked the idea of the community.
Saga tried to link the man Harriet had known with the one who abducted two girls; she looked at Henrik sat at the table, his gaze fixed on the mug he was holding.
Harriet continued.
"One day he called me, his wife died, and he needed a quiet place for his girls. I offered him an apartment first, then they moved in a bigger house after we renovated it.
"Did he show documents about the girls?"
"No, we don't ask those things here, we trust people."
"You better reconsider your philosophy. Did you know where he lived before?"
"As I told you, we don't ask."
"So people could have fake manes here?" Henrik suddenly asked.
"We expect honesty and mutual respect."
"It's not an answer."
Harriet had to admit it was possible.
"And you never questioned my girls about their past? They spoke Danish, for God's sake!"
"I seldom see them, they were at school and kept by themselves a lot."
Henrik's fist came hard on the table, the mug trembled.
"Because he kidnapped them! They missed their parents!"
Saga put a hand over his arm, the simple gesture made him breath slower to regain control.
"I remember he once sais the weather here was milder than the place he grow."
"Since his accent has no inflections, probably by purpose, we can assume he lived in the North."
Saga stated, while calling John to start another search.
Back home, Henrik had three pizzas delivered. Neither of them could think straight at the moment,
Saga went out for a drive "to clear her mind" as she explained, Henrik was chastised by Astrid therapist because he had forgotten an appointment. A restless night followed.
Barbara did the hard work of creating a map of all the calls. By noon it was done, they were concentrated in a square area of around 50 km in the very north. The biggest town and nearest airport was in Lulea.
"We need to go there." Saga stated.
"It's a large area." Linn opposed.
"I want to try, the calls showed someone arrived south and then left, maybe with Anna."
"It will be really cold up there, we need to pack up warm clothes."
"I don't have anything so warm." Astrid lamented when Henrik took off his winter equipment from dusted boxes up in the wardrobe: scarves, gloves, hat and a green winter jacket, unused since he and his friends went skiing nearly twenty years before. Astrid reacted at the strong anti moths smell but Henrik tried the clothes, he was still fit to wear them. He took a trolley and started filling it.
"We have to go shopping for you today."
Saga seemed completely taken aback by Henrik's idea.
"I don't need…"
He interrupted her; it was not his intention to be harsh but they were really pressed for time and he didn't want to discuss further.
"Believe me, you cannot go there with your clothes, look at the average temperature up there, here, take my phone. Look at the print screens I've done…."
She had to admit he was right.
"What can we wear?"
"Sportive winter clothes, I think the people who live there use sort of ski clothes in cold seasons, We need warm shoes, too, against ice and snow. And the right underwear."
Henrik was afraid to force Saga into a change, but the situation needed a drastic decision.
He offered to pay everything, at the condition they were fast in choosing, when they entered the big department store.
He feared Saga would object more, he was relieved she found easily a blue outfit with comfortable trousers and a warm jacket, plus an alpine style wool cardigan with patterns of snowflakes and pines. She remained at the mirror, looking at her image in blue for a long time, like she was seeing another woman. And different indeed, she had to admit to herself; the colour matched well with her hair, making also her eyes shine more in the neon lights of the store.
For a brief moment Henrik imagined Saga clad in a feminine dress, dark green silk, sleeveless, modelling all her curves, then he returned to reality and sighed so loud Saga gave him a puzzled look. It was Alice's style and Saga would never be Alice.
Henrik bought new snow shoes for everybody, recommending them to give a try the same evening at home to avoid fastidious blisters. Plus, back packs and telescopic sticks, it would be easier especially if they have to move often and fast.
He added new pocket lights, one for each, one more powerful for the car with rechargeable batteries.
Astrid was more exigent, she liked the huge selection of clothes in the shop, she never saw so many things assembled to choose from, like a little child in a candy store.
"She's young."
Henrik excused her with the annoyed clerk, after the umpteenth pair of trousers she asked to try.
And she's indeed a woman, she's not Saga, he reminded himself.
Astrid was so like Alice, an artistic spirit, not practical like Henrik was and Anna showed would become.
Would Saga's child been more like himself or her, should it have survived?
Henrik closed his eyes, he could not think about it now, he still had to elaborate that pain, for something that'd never come true.
He could not press Astrid to hurry up, the situation was enough difficult he only prayed for a fast outcome.
Saga saved the situation, forcing Astrid to choose faster, when her phone buzzed and Linn requested them to go immediately in Malmo to retry her badge and two letters of presentation .
It was a weird way to introduce people, in the technology era, but Linn had controlled that in Umea the police chief was still her late husband's boss when he worked up in Norrland, an man near retirement, but still well respected by everybody for his moral attitude and who himself always shoved great respect for every human being. A man of the past, she told Saga, who still liked a good hand written letter.
Astrid and Saga were nervous for their first flight, or better first and second flight, Saga pointed out, since in Stockholm they had to change plane.
Henri tried to reassure them, it was the safest way to travel, the weather forecast were good, it would be a too long car drive.
In the end Saga decided to take a pill to relax and Astrid followed her advice.
The small airport of Umea was a strong contrast with the hub of Copenhagen and Stockholm.
They got a taxi to go to the police station where a service car awaited them.
Linn had cleared their path well with Mads Bomberg, the head commissioner in Umea, who seemed a real Viking, a tall man with a huge beard and long red air, now with traces of white. He was massive, his presence filled the room; Henrik was not a short man but he appeared like a child compared to the colleague.
Mads was sure over sixty, but still in shape and with a strong handshake.
"The area is wide and quite deserted, few villages and some cabins in the woods."
Mads showed on the map Vuollerim, around one hundred km north west.
"I'll give you the names of all our colleagues there, I know well al of them. We're few here, a big scattered family. We support each other in case of need."
Then Mads took Saga apart.
"It is not procedurally correct to involve a teenager in an investigation."
"She's the only one who can recognize her sister, at short notice. Plus, Henrik 'll never leave her home alone."
"Your boss asked me a special favour, in memory of her late husband, a man form here, a guy I respected a lot. She told me about your strict adherence to rules. I do hope you'll find your girl and not get yourself in danger."
Saga knew it was wrong, dangerous and very wrong, but Henrik needed both.
Since she went away after the Thormon case she was fighting with her attitude toward rules.
She was changing, but two weeks were barely enough to left behind the issue of her family.
She was back in police only for Henrik, the first two days had been so hectic she had not time to think, but during the flights her worries returned in full force.
She wanted to talk with Henrik and he was not in his best moment.
In the hotel they had a suite with a room for Astrid; leaving the station early in the afternoon the darkness fell suddenly, it was by far the northern place they ever visited.
The absence of light casted strange shadows from the street lamps on the walls of their hotel room.
Saga's head was spinning, all too fast too soon, she had been in continuous motion for nearly three weeks now, missing stability and order.
Astrid knocked at the communicating door after dinner; Saga was in her underwear, ready for bed.
"Henrik is in the bathroom."
"I cannot sleep. I'm scared, since dad started asking questions about Anna and the village. And now we're here."
"We're here following a lead. We must verify it."
"But Anna is dead, Frank told me."
"Frank said your parents were dead. We cannot accept his words for granted."
"Do you think Anna is alive?"
Saga was torn between the rational idea Anna was dead, buried somewhere else - because after appendicitis without surgery the outcome was septicemia and then death - and the tiny voice that was telling her to hope, to have faith in the impossible. Astrid was in a state of emotional disorder, she needed therapy, not a travel in the cold with two detectives looking for a miracle.
"I don't know, nobody saw the body, there are no medical records in hospitals and Frank did strange calls. Logic dictates she can be alive."
"If we find her body I cannot bear it. And dad, too."
"You're strong, the same for Henrik. This case is difficult but I found you, after so many time, when
the odds were few."
"You did great, dad kept telling me you gave him the greatest gift. He was so sad when you were away. "
"Henrik had a hard time, better he ..."
"Astrid, what's wrong?" Henrik voice from the bathroom door distracted Saga, who only later realised she had her first real conversation with the girl that for her lover meant everything,
"Astrid needed to talk, didn't you?"
Astrid nodded. An unspoken message passed between the girl and the woman; they had to support Henrik as much as they could.
"Do you want to talk with me?"
"No, dad, I'm going to bed now. But I'd like a hug."
Henrik approached his daughter, embracing her, his eyes shut for the flood of emotions that was filling him.
Saga met Astrid's eyes over Henrik's shoulder and smiled.
Henrik kissed the top of the light brown head.
"Goodnight dad, goodnight Saga." Astrid said leaving their room.