Hey guys! I haven't actually done an 'author's note' but I thought I should do one now since this will be the last chapter of A Reason To Live. I want to start off by saying thank you for readin this and I hope you have enjoyed this fanfic so far. It was so much fun to write and it makes me more excited to work on new things.

Before I let you read, let me know if you would like me to do a "book 2" of this or if you have any other suggestions for more fanfics about any Marvel character or even Star Wars, Miraculous, OUAT, please let me know.

Enjoy!

————————

Chapter 15: Reasons To Live

I opened my eyes, my vision was blurred, my body ached, I don't know where I am. It was quiet...was I in my cell? No. There would usually be a guard outside pacing. My vision cleared. I was laying down on something soft..comfortable.

I sat up slowly, clenching my jaw, it hurt so much. Everything hurt. It hurt to think to move to breathe-

Where am I?

I wasn't in the H.Y.D.R.A. base..

At least I don't think I am. I was in a room, sitting on a bed. In the room there was a dresser, the bed of course, a nightstand, a door, windows.

So familiar yet so different.

Maybe this was just one of H.Y.D.R.A.'s tricks.

I made myself get off the bed, and stood in front of the door that led out of the room.

Should I open it?

I don't think I want to find out what's on the other side. Probably guards. Men in SWAT gear and guns. So many guns.

Or maybe there's an experimentation room? With scientist and doctors. Needles, scalpels, tables-

Or maybe it's the training room. The tables with weapons laid out. Knives, guns of every kind, grenades, swords even..

I took in a shaky breath and turned the knob, closing my eyes as the door opened. I opened my eyes and to my surprise there was just a living room with a couch. A kitchen. A table. It was..

Normal.

I think I was supposed to feel comfortable here, but I didn't. This just made me more suspicious. I walked into the kitchen, and then the living room. I saw another door. I walked to it and opened it. There was a small bathroom.

Why am I here?

I walked around the entire house over and over, trying to find a clue. There was one door I didn't open. The front door. The door that led outside.

Or someplace worse..

I stood in front of it for a while, contemplating whether I should find out what was on the other side.

Finally, I opened it.

It was a hallway. I walked forwards, there was a railing and a staircase. I closed the door, and walked down the stairs. It led to another door of course. I never thought I would ever dread doors so much.

I opened it and I was immediately introduced to sunlight, it was so bright, I could hardly make out anything. I could hear so many different things it made my head whirl. Footsteps. Cars. People talking. My vision came back into focus, I was outside.

There was no weapons or guards or screaming. There was no H.Y.D.R.A.

I walked down the street, passing by buildings and houses. For a reason I did not know, I kept looking down the alley ways. Was I looking for something? I don't know. Maybe I was looking for someone? I don't know the answer to that either.

After a while, I noticed people staring at me. It made me slightly uncomfortable until I realized what they were looking at. They were staring at my arm, I was wearing a black t-shirt so my arm was entirely exposed. I walked back to the apartment I was in.

Something was different when I entered.

There was a backpack and two large cardboard boxes sitting by the couch. I sat on the couch, first picking up the backpack. I opened it, the first thing I took out was a notebook. Where did this come from?

The black leather was worn, it was probably very old. There were colored tabs sticking out the sides. I opened to a random page and read the words.

Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. 32557038. Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. 32557038._

The same thing was repeated over and over, till I reached the bottom of the page.

What did it mean?

The experimentation room. I was laying on a table, I winced in pain as the doctors injected fluids into me. I kept repeating the words. "Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. 32557038." Over and over.

I was then in a different room, sitting on a chair with restraints. I could hear people talking, a machine starting up. But the thing I heard the most was my hoarse voice. "Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. 32557038."*

I went to another page, there were pictures of a man. He had blond hair, blue green eyes. He was tall and muscular.

But what puzzled me was what he was wearing. His clothing resembled that of the American flag. The red, white, and blue. He was also carrying a shield with red, white, and blue stripes. A white star was in the center.

It was so familiar. So familiar..yet so distant.

I opened to another page, this one was a picture of a woman. Her red hair, blue eyes..

Seeing her was comforting, a feeling I didn't even know was possible. Comfort.

I didn't even know where it came from.

I put the notebook down and grabbed the envelope that was on top of the boxes. I opened it and a picture and dog tag fell out of it. I picked them up, looking at the picture. It was me...I think.

I was wearing an army uniform, a smile on my face. In marker the words were written: Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. 32557038.

I assumed that James Buchanan Barnes was me. Or used to be. I looked at the dog tag that had my name on it and put it around my neck. I spent the rest of the day looking through the notebook, a folded piece of paper fell out of the notebook. I picked it up and read it.

November 18, 2015

If your reading this it means I've was taken by H.Y.D.R.A.

If somehow my 'future self' - so to speak - gets this letter there's something I need you to remember. If you can.

Your name is James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, you were born March 10, 1917. You had four siblings, a mom and dad who loved you. Your best friend, Steve Rogers, who even now would do anything to help you. Steve - who is more commonly known as Captain America - will probably come looking for you. Don't push him away. He will help you. That mask, those stars and stripes, that shield...they change you.

Don't blame yourself for losing - that's one thing I've learned after escaping H.Y.D.R.A. - we need to appreciate the little moments we have left and try to move on with life. I know that's hard, I know that more than anybody, but you have to fight through it.

Someone very important taught me that. Someone I hope you won't forget. Natasha Romanoff (her real name is Natalia Alianovna but she hates it when I call her that). She was the person who stuck by me when no one else did. She was who I thought of when someone mentioned 'home'. She is my home. She saved me.

If I was able to have so much you can as well. Now, I can't guarantee that you'll remember everything, because you won't, and you just have to accept that. That's something that I learned from Natasha, she helped me in unimaginable ways and I will be forever grateful for it.

After I came back from H.Y.D.R.A. I wished I could've had someone to tell me that I would be okay. That I would eventually move on. I'm hoping I can do this for you. I know things will seem like all hope is lost, because I've been there myself. But I'm hoping that maybe...maybe this will give you a reason to live.