Randy wearing a gay safari hat in Windy Valley. "Previously on… Survivor!"
"The Nights tribe butted heads over food," footage played of Tikal snatching the chao from Rouge as Cream wails in the background.
"During the mixer challenge, the contestants got a bit steamy!" Shot of DK ogling Cream's small ass. "In the end, Nights and Rings took home immunity and some cheesy poofs, while Shell and Mushroom fell victim to a shocking double tribal," Luigi looking hella flustered as he hands Peach his pumice stone.
"At the Mushroom camp, the minorities didn't sell each other out." Toadette putting on her shades with Noki and Birdo in the bush. "Despite seeming separated Rosalina was ousted unanimously." Rosalina's torch getting snuffed.
"While on Shell, Wario's bad behavior paid off as they found Luigi's idol," Wario all like 'wahhh' as he finds the idol in Luigi's bag, "Nevertheless the second loss lead to the protagonist being sent out prematurely." Shot of Mario looking pissed as his torch goes out.
Randy gets sucked into the tornado, "Twenty one are left, who will be voted out tonight!?"
Shell Tribe
Night 3
Low ethnic moaning as some corpse-like skeletal figures in the ruins suddenly rise up; they're Dry Bones.
"I had a feeling my brother was in the hot seat tonight," Luigi looks contemplative on the dusty shores of the Ruins, "I didn't want to use it and risk it. I'd rather go home with it."
The tribe quiet returning to camp. Bowser jumps on the shelter to spread his gooch out after disposing of his nemesis, but breaks the floor of the shelter in the process. Wario laughing heartily.
"This has gone perfect, if we lose again, I'm throwing my vote, Luigi will have to use his idol." Wario schemes while taking a nighttime dump, "He won't be voting for me and that's another step to the money."
DK shown lying on the shore, reading his Bible. Bowser comes to sit beside him, watching the stars.
"I think I made the right move last night, the camp is a lot calmer now. I know I have Jesus on my side and Jesus is my nigga." D.K. proudly cradles his Bible in his arms.
"Got your back, man," DK does an urban little handshake with Bowser.
Mushroom Tribe
Night 3
Some miniature elephants meant for feeding the chao are shown marching down a path.
Peach sits to stretch out her legs after tribal, physically exhausted.
"That was a stressful decision. I could sleep for like, five days," Peach yawning.
Daisy easily sparks a fire with the flint they came back with, and sets some water to boil. "Soup tonight, ladies?" she asks a hungry-looking Birdo and Toadette, who nod fervently.
"After watching the first season, I thought tribal would be a breeze." Toadette redoing her mushroom braids, "That was difficult and it wasn't even a hard vote."
"I'm pleased," Noki rolled up some coconut husks and is smoking them, "The pretty ones didn't even put up a fight. They should be more threatened by the wise Noki, we may be old, but we're not weak."
Daisy is shown telling stories about her homeland of Sarassaland over the fire as it gets dark, the tribe is listening but mostly doesn't really give a shit. "I miss my horses," Daisy whines.
"I think that vote unified the tribe, I actually feel much stronger going forward," Daisy prudently leaning on a knee.
Noki groaning in boredom. "I don't give a crap about that girl's damn horses."
Immunity Challenge
Day 4
"Come on in guys!" Randy shouts as the Ring and Nights tribe come in holding their tribe flags. "Take your first look at the new Mushroom and Shell tribes, Rosalina and Mario voted out last night," Sonic and Knuckles all like woooah as the four remaining Shell tribe boys walk in, with Luigi off to one side.
"I'm a little sad that Mario is gone, he could have been a minor ally to me." Noki says while polishing her shell.
"Y'all guys ready for a shake up? Drop your damn buffs! We're switching tribes!"
Immediate shot of Amy Rose looking terrified.
"Shell tribe is no more, you guys can step off that mat now," the Shell tribe scatters as Randy pulls out his gun and shoots the green mat repeatedly. Tails screams in fear of a massacre, but then everyone realizes that the gun was shooting new buffs. Luigi, who had ducked behind Big the Cat for safety, he turns to find a Purple buff resting on his sweet ass.
The castaways whipping they heads around in confusion, scattered rumbling is heard. "How many tribes are we swapping to?" Amy Rose frantically.
"Four?" Noki tries to get a look over Toadette's mushroom head.
"Two?" Rouge coos.
"One." Big says definitively.
Luigi looks over to his three former tribe mates, who all have Yellow buffs. Bowser blows fire everywhere. Randy shoots new buffs at everyone else, DK is triggered due to his inner-city upbringing.
"We're switching to THREE tribes," Randy announces, more camera swirling as all the castaways appear on their new mats.
"On the new Mushroom tribe we have Toadette and Noki staying put, while Amy Rose, Cream, Froggy, Knuckles, and Shadow join their tribe." Randy motions his fat arm at them. Froggy bats her eyelashes at the new boys on her tribe.
"It's about time I schedule a dickie appointment." Froggy applies her mascara.
"On the new Ring tribe, Eggman now a lonely egg, the Shell tribe mostly moving over here, Bowser, DK, and Wario, and Peach, her sister, and Maria Robotnik round out the tribe."
Daisy nervously sways on the mat.
"And finally we have the new Nights tribe, Tikal and Rouge sticking together, Sonic, Tails, and Big from the old Ring tribe, Birdo and Luigi all alone."
Birdo makes her weird noise.
Tails standing on his mat, gasping. "This is making my head spin!"
"Alright, today's challenge is Blind Leading the Blind!" Randy exclaims gayly. "Each tribe will assign one screaming hussy, two pairs of blind puzzle bag grabbers, and the final pair of puzzle solvers. The screaming hussy will have to help the blinded pairs grab the three bags of puzzle pieces. Once all the bags are collected, the final pair will need to complete the puzzle. First two tribes to complete their puzzles will win immunity. First place tribe will win an overnight stay on the Rainbow Cruise!"
The castaways go "Ooo,"
Randy continues, "Second place just gets immunity and last place, a date with me at tribal council. Pick your spots."
Dramatic cut away to the castaways in their spots.
"Calling for each tribe, Mushroom has Amy Rose, Rings has Daisy, and the Nights tribe has Sonic." Amy Rose brandishes her Piko Piko hammer while she stands on the post.
"Collecting bags we have Froggy and Cream, Knuckles and Blue Noki, Toadette and Shadow working on the puzzle for Mushroom." Toadette's braids sway in the wind
"Bowser and D.K., Eggman and Maria collecting bags for Rings. Peach and Wario responsible for the puzzle." Close up of Maria pouting with a yellow buff blindfold covering her face.
"Tikal and Big, Rouge and Birdo grabbing bags while Tails and Luigi are doing the puzzle for Nights." Luigi pumps up a fist, "Oh yeah!"
"Survivors ready? Go!" Randy shoots his revolver.
Daisy begins to scream, "LEFT LEFT, GO LEFT DK."
D.K. and Bowser push forward and trip over each other trying to go left.
Camera shakes wildly as it follows Froggy hopping around aimlessly dragging Cream along with her. Amy is already hoarse banging her hammer on her pedestal. "You're almost there, slow down!"
"I can't hear a word she's saying," Froggy croaks to Cream who is desperately flapping her ears to keep up.
Rouge takes off in flight dragging Birdo as a 'ding ding ding' sound is going off. "I got it!" Rouge grabs the bag as Birdo screams mid-air.
Randy standing on a beige rock, "Nights has taken the lead!" Tikal and Big are shown on their knees reaching around in the dirt.
Maria shown holding Eggman's hand, "This way Dad," she drags him to Rings first and closest bag.
"Yeah, right there!" Daisy throws a fist in the air as Eggman grabs the bag with Jewish greed.
"Rings has their first bag!"
Immediate cut to DK yanking at a bag as Bowser stumbles alongside him. "That's two bags for Rings! Mushroom having no luck," descending whistle tone as Knuckles and Blue Noki are shown walking away from their first bag.
Amy getting red in the face. "NOKI! TURN AROUND!"
Tikal shown struggling to pull Big along, "Big, please understand, we have to go to the back of the course."
"Oki doki!" Big jumps and creates a 4.5 earthquake.
Noki clucking as she finally leads Knuckles to their first bag.
Birdo honks as Sonic yells, "Right, fatty!, Tikal turn left!" Visibly annoyed as Birdo grabs the second bag for Nights.
"One bag left, dad." Maria still leading Eggman around.
"Woo! I'm Daisy! Go left!" Daisy losing her voice.
Maria trips and her egg daddy rolls them to their final bag.
"Rings have all their bags, take off your blindfolds!" The trio of fat people and Maria run to the puzzle area.
"I got this, my whole spin off game was a god damn puzzle." Wario spits as he untied the bags.
The shot switches to Tikal grabbing the final bag for Nights.
"Nights is good! Run!" Rouge having a nip slip while jogging with the puzzle bags.
"I can hear Amy now!" Cream declares while making a b line to Mushroom's second bag.
"It's a tight race for first!" Close up of Luigi sweating bullets as he places together the logo of the season.
Peach vigorously punching pieces into place.
Knuckles in the foreground flying to Mushroom's final bag.
"Toadette and Shadow have a lot of time to make up! Go Mushroom you're not out of it!" Randy only annoys the people concentrating on the puzzle.
"A few more pieces." Wario's large hands placing the last pieces together.
"I got it! Did I win?" Peach slams her gooch on the table.
Randy jogs over. "Rings WINS IMMUNITY AND THE RAINBOW CRUISE!"
D.K. excitedly grabs Maria's breast in the celebration.
Shadow pushes Toadette out of the way. "I got this, chaos control!"
This stops the other team for ten seconds, allowing for Shadow to catch up.
Time starts again and Sonic taps his foot impatiently.
Luigi looking defeated as Tails basically finishes the puzzle.
"NIGHTS WINS IMMUNITY!" Randy unnecessarily shouting as ethnic yelping transitions to all the tribes back on their mats.
"Rings, enjoy your cruise, Nights, get the fuck out, and Mushroom… tonight… you."
"Being stuck on a tribe of vags really weighed us down at the challenge." Voiceover of Shadow while the Mushroom tribe is walking back to camp.
Rings Tribe
Day 4 - Reward Trip
"Rumor has it that whoever gets to be on the rainbow cruise wins the game." The doctor smoking a cigar while a Pianta rubs his feet.
Daisy and D.K. near the buffet, "This is a coffee press." Daisy purposely enunciating "cough-eee"
D.K. shrugs at her white lady racism and heads to the sauna.
Cut to Bowser roughly massaging Peach in a massage room.
"Teehee, crack my back daddy." Peach giggles coquettishly.
"If I have to be Baby Peach to win the million, I'll gladly shit in a diaper." Peach glowing in a fluffy white privilege robe.
Meanwhile, Maria was steaming her roast beef vagina in the sauna as D.K. accidentally walked in.
"Oh shit," D.K.'s face became as red as his ass.
"It's cool." Maria crosses her legs to cover her smelly pussy.
D.K. can't control his hormonal rage and jumps on Maria.
"D.K.'s strong hands on my throat and his big dick in my soup? How could I say no?" Maria in denial of her recent rape.
Cut to the tribe around a dinner table, popping bottles of champagne like 'woo!'
Bowser whispering to Wario, "We hit the jackpot."
Bowser taking an executive dump ruining the Rainbow Cruise toilet, "Not getting swapped fucked is amazing. I have two locked in votes with Wario and D.K., we just need the one mo. It's looking like the doctor." Shot of Eggman laughing with Daisy.
As the Rings tribe ate their frou frou autumn salads, Maria fakes poop cramps. "Oh boy, Dad can you help me to the bathroom?" Peach pouts at Maria's sickliness.
Once Eggman and Maria make it into the ladies room, Maria jumps into a strategy session. "Bitch, what we doing, if we have to vote soon?"
Eggman twirls his jagged mustache, "We vote out the blonde bitch first and work with the evil lads."
Maria hurriedly whispers, "Don't you think we're fourth and fifth though?"
"D.K. is black, he will turn on his old Shell members in a flash." Eggman racistly snaps his fingers as an ominous groan changes the scene.
Nights Tribe
Day 4
"Greeting the intruders with warmth and love is the perfect way to integrate them into our tribe." Tikal fauxly smiles to the camera.
"Tails, I need some help fisting, I mean finding the new well." Sonic grabs Tails by the wrist and dashes off.
"You couldn't wait?" Tails sighing as Sonic fits a whole gloved hand up Tails' loose anus.
"Gotta go fast!"
Rouge and her breasts collect firewood while a meek and timid Luigi guy follows behind.
"I need a STRONG boy to help me in this game." Rouge badly lying.
"Yeah, team?" Luigi awkwardly smiled while gazing at Rouge's breasts.
"I'm going to have to frock the vote. I might be dead in the water." Rouge bats her lashes.
Tikal looking crazed, "After the challenge, I needed to take a nice dump, however when I got back to camp I couldn't believe what one of my chaos was telling me."
"Bad touch!" The cyan chao began to scream and cry.
Tikal gasps sharply, "We have a chao lover!" She begins to heavily sob as she pets the chao to calm it down.
Birdo walks up from the beach after successfully catching a cheep cheep.
She sees the calamity of Tikal trying to soothe the raped chao and the Sonic and Tails fisting at the same time.
A jovial gong sound effect plays, "It looks like I'm on the rape tribe." Birdo frowns while an orgy happens behind her.
Mushroom Tribe
Day 4
Some shimmery beats introduce the defeated Mushroom tribe walking in from their recent loss.
Shadow is shown crying out in frustration, kicking sand over the fire, before taking off into the woods.
"Honestly, the L was pretty hard on all of us," Knuckles adjusting his red dread locs. "And with all the pussy on this tribe, I'm afraid to ruffle feathers."
Knuckles is shown frowning at the ladies before awkwardly dipping to get water from the butt.
"Despite losing today, I feel pretty confident, the plan is a go." Amy Rose's spiky pink bob blows in the wind.
Blue Noki attempts to explain how the old Mushroom camp operated, "This is camp, boys will need separate shelter."
"In Noki culture, the genders can not mix until it is mating season, it is very important to make sure that a litter doesn't make camp difficult." Noki explained as a dopey soundtrack racistly plays.
"Who does Noki think she is? She's not my mom." Shadow has an angst ridden piss in the Baltic Sea.
"Ho ho, I'll make some supper," Toadette picked up a frying pan to heat up some Cheesy Poofs.
Knuckles and Shadow walked off over near one of the caves in the ruins.
"What's the plan?" Shadow asked impatiently.
"We vote out the weak, Cream." Shot of Cream tasting Toadette's dinner she was making.
Knuckles crouched next to some rocks, "I'm impressed Shadow came to me for a vote. It's probably because he's gay. Cream has no business being out here. She has to go."
The shot transitions as a Goomba gets washed away into the ocean.
Amy and Cream are off in the woods pretending to fetch some water. "Who should we go for?"
Cream just shrugs and sends out Cheese, "Cheese, get her!" As Cheese flies over to Froggy lounging in the shelter.
"I need to let Cream think she's in the driver seat, even though it's me!" Amy Rose purses her lips.
Noki and Toadette sit around the fire eating as Amy and Cream return from the woods. Froggy passing out as subtitles pick up her snoring.
Noki is all like, "Girls team?"
Amy Rose squashes that right quick with a light tap of her Piko Piko hammer. "We vote Froggy."
Toadette glances over at the slumbering frog.
"We're at an interesting impasse at this new tribe," Toadette eating some one up shrooms, "If Noki and I make a wrong move now, it could jeopardize everything."
Toadette and Noki ventured to find some fruit for the dinner Toadette was making.
Toadette speaks laid over a shot of her and Noki washing papayas, "We need each other now."
Noki nods her head, "I don't trust the orange one." The camera cuts to Froggy, Cream, and Amy all laughing around the campfire.
"Should we vote for Cream though? Do we have four?" Toadette frowned holding up her honeydew melon.
Urgent moaning transitions the scene to everyone gorging themselves at camp.
"Toadette, you made this rice taste delicious!" Amy gaily smiles.
Shadow placing a hand on Cream's knee, she whispers in his ear.
"I feel a little nervous today, no one really talked to me about the vote," Froggy frowning on a log, "I can only hope for the best."
"Amy told me that we have the Mushroom girls on lock, I'm not too sure about that." Cream patting Cheese nervously.
"Finally going to tribal will really test my mental strength," laid over shot of tribe walking with their torches, closing up on Knuckles, "It's time to delete fat."
Tribal Council
Night 4
Heavy violins crescendo as the new Mushroom tribe walks into the Casinopolis.
Randy's gooch illuminates the room.
"Grab a torch and light it up unless you're Toadette and Blue Noki." Close up on Shadow's black arm extending into the fire pit.
"So the switch happened, Amy, how are you adjusting to the new camp life?" Randy scratches his chin.
"Randy, as the leader of this tribe. I would say that the camp could be… better." Amy smugly smirks.
Blue Noki raises both of her hands, "I feel insulted, sir."
Randy confusedly looks at her, "Why are you insulted?"
"I work hard and the youth are disrespectful." Blue Noki answers.
Toadette nods aggressively in agreement.
"Toadette, I see that you're violently shaking your mushroom head, are you having the same problems?" Randy peers at Toadette as she slowly slips her sunglasses on.
"I would describe this tribe as lackadaisical, that's all."
Shadow shrugs his shoulders at the frumpy midget women.
"Shadow, would you describe yourself as lackadaisical as Toadette put it?" Randy trying hard to fracture this tribe's hymen.
"I'm just trying to lay low, there's still twenty other people in my way." Shadow dramatically flips his hedgehog hair.
"True dat, it's time to vote, Froggy, you're up first."
Ominous ethnic music starts as Froggy hops to the voting booth, she frowns as her vote is obscured.
Knuckles flies to the voting booth, [Cream] "See you later little girl."
Toadette smug as she writes down a name in a Mushroom person fashion.
Dress swaying from the fan production placed in the Casinopolis gold room, Amy Rose votes, [Froggy] "This is my first step in my master plan, no hard feelings!"
Shadow, now alone no longer has to hide his massive boner as he votes.
Giggling Asianly Cream takes her time in voting despite her being in danger.
Blue Noki whispers angrily, "You have a lot to learn," She flips her vote, [Cream]
Cellos begin playing tense music, "I'll go to tally the votes," Randy walks off as the camera closes up on Noki's constipated face.
"If anyone has the idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so." The camera lingers on Shadow for no particular reason.
Randy smiles, "Alright, I'll read the votes."
"First vote,"
[Cream]
She nods gritting her teeth.
"Second vote," Randy flips the vote around.
[Froggy]
"Next vote,"
[Froggy]
Froggy spins her head around, bewildered.
Randy quickly picks up the next vote,
[Cream]
"We have two votes Cream and two votes Froggy."
The camera closes up on Toadette's thin mouth.
"Next vote,"
[Froggy]
Amy Rose smiles,
Randy reveals the sixth vote,
[Cream]
Amy Rose nervously looks to Cream.
"And the fourth person voted out of Survivor: Mystic Ruins is…"
The camera flashes to Cream, Amy, Toadette.
[Froggy]
"Froggy, I'm going to need your torch."
Froggy frowns and hops over to her torch.
Randy stares down the frog. "Froggy, the tribe has spoken."
She turns to her tribe, "Knock em' dead!" She peaces out.
"Interesting decision as a new tribe, let's see how that works out for you, head back to camp." Randy takes a giant shit at tribal council forcing the Mushroom tribe to run faster.
Froggy sitting in the elimination phone, "I wasn't really expecting that. I got swap fucked, plain and simple."
NEXT TIME ON SURVIVOR.
There's a big storm coming.
Daisy braiding Peach's hair while glaring, "My sister is hanging with the wrong crowd."
Big despondently sitting in the wet sand, "I am not a pedophile, taking things too far like, yes I probably shouldn't of said stuff like did, but I meant like cute kid and I even said non sexual just cause say someone cute doesn't make it sexual come on now."
Putting her arms up, "Just wait a minute!" Amy Rose rummages through her bag.
"This game is dangerous and I know I will have to make a move eventually," Tails twirling his tails together, "The question is...when?"
AN: The votes were Amy, Cream, Toadette, Shadow for Froggy. The rest were for Cream.