Randy making some creme fraiche in his kitchen as the oven beeps he screams, "Previously on Survivor!"
A shot of the ten remaining castaways getting segregated, "A new twist split the Airam tribe into two new groups." The camera lingering on the last immunity challenge, "Black people had control over Peach and Toadette," Cut to Toadette and Peach whispering desperately in the port-a-potty.
"On the other side, Eggman had all the power sitting in the swing position." Quick flashes of Tails trying to trick Eggman with the fake idol. "Where the white people made a dirty deal and murdered the fuck out of Foxxy Kong," A long shot of Foxxy's charred corpse.
"In the end Peach was voted out unanimously and Tikal got burned by the Doctor," Split screen of Peach and Tikal's torches getting snuffed.
"Eight are left, who will be voted out tonight!" Randy devours his creme fraiche, all like nom nom nom.
Airam Tribe
Night 12
"It's showtime," Voice Over of Tails walking back to camp gripping his torch as he sobs uncontrollably.
Tails flops into the shelter in the dark, crashing into Rouge's bosom, "I am a horrible mother! I lost another baby!" He begins to babble incoherently.
Placing his torch down next to the others Dr. Eggman notes, "Not all children make it Tails, it's not your fault."
D.K., who had been wiping his black tears with his red tie outbursts, "You disgust me old man, I know you did something fucked up to Foxxy. I been knew you were a racist cracker."
Toadette's mouth is agape.
"Did you not just vote out Peach because she's white? That's reverse racism." Eggman not backing down.
"She just wasn't in the alliance, that's all." Rouge says as she consoles an incapacitated Tails.
Becoming more and more enraged D.K. drops a bombshell, "You know what Wario told me! Eggman was banging his daughta the whole time!" Cue Rouge gasping off screen.
"Love is love and that's just something apes don't understand." Eggman spits in a racist manner.
"I just knew I needed to keep my mouth shut. I don't need everyone pinning this murder on me." Luigi gulped dramatically.
After tending to the dying fire, Knuckles inputs with, "I bet Luigi did it."
"I didn't do it!" Luigi puts a scandalized hand up to his mustached mouth.
"People just started pointing fingers at everyone! I was terrified." Toadette shook her mushroom head.
Struggling for an answer Tails accuses, "It was the...chaos! The chaos did it, it's why we voted out Tikal."
"That is so rude," Noki stormed off into the jungle to the Nights shrine.
Noki made quicktime to the Nights shrine and one of the more evolved chaos pulled on her arm. "Mother gone?" The neutral swim dolphin looking chao made an awkward squiggly mouth.
"Sadly, I'm still here," she whistles and the chaos crowd around her. "I need help! Tikal is gone!"
Some of the chaos had a grasp on the English language and on hearing the devastating news about half of the chaos dipped into the forest leaving forever.
Rouge broke away from the race fight at the shelter, noticing the tears pooling in Noki's small asian eyes.
"Noki, I'm sorry about what happened to Tikal. I really owe her everything. I would die for her and Nights right now." Rouge walks up and places a loving hand on the Nights shrine.
"I would too, we really need to get out those boys." Noki wiped a tear away with her nub of a hand.
"If I'm number three in Noki's plans because of my vagina. That's fine." Grinning wildly as Rouge notices some dirt under her fingernails.
A group of Chaos sobbing together and banging drums ethinicly
"After the big fight I really needed to talk with the doctor." Toadette's eyes bugging out of her head.
#AIDSCarCrashAlliance pops up as Eggman and Toadette hide in some bushes to whisper.
"What happened? How did the Princess go home?" Twirling his moustache, Eggman asks in hurried tone.
"It was three to two, I tried my hardest to get Rouge to flip." Toadette sighs as she lies.
"Well if we're in hot water, I got this to fool those thugs." Eggman removes the hidden immunity emerald from his anus and shows Toadette.
"That's a game changer! I really have to rethink everything now…" Toadette contemplates in her little pink vest.
"That's perfect, we should dip before anyone gets suspicious." Toadette walks away from Eggman as an ominous violin plays.
Immunity Challenge
Day 13
"Come on in guys!" Randy yelled as the disgruntled Airam tribe drudged through some brambles to their tribe mat.
"It's time for the Survivor Auction!" Randy fans the money out and throws it at the contestants.
"You each will get five hundred dollars to bid with, you can not share the money or the items you buy. You must bid in $20 increments. Is everyone ready?"
Rouge seductively puts the envelope in her titties.
"Alright first item!" Randy places a question mark block on his little podium, "This will remain HIDDEN."
The camera settles on Tails making an inquisitive face, and DK shouts "$20!"
Noki raises her arm, "One hundred please!"
After a moment of silence Randy begins, "Going once, going twice, sold to the blue lady. Noki come on up here and let's see what you bought."
Noki jumps up and hits the block and a small wrapped up note and the immunity necklace rise up out of the box.
She unwraps the little parchment and reads, "You have bought yourself the right to be the auction slave, you can no longer bid on any items, however, you can still beg your fellow tribe mates for them to be generous. You also get the right to give someone the immunity necklace. You cannot give it to yourself."
Without even thinking Noki states, "I'm giving it to my girl, Toadette."
Toadette adjusting her little vest, "I'm a little bit worried being picked by Noki to win immunity. I feel like it just makes us a huge target."
"All right next item!" Randy rips off a blanket revealing a makeshift shower stand. "Let's start the bidding now."
Knuckles clears his throat, "$20 Randy."
Rouge bats her eyes, "Sixty!" she screams
Toadette brandishing her necklace, "I'm going to bet a hundred Randy".
Rouge darts her eyes, "'I'll double that two hunna!"
Randy raises his gavel, "going once, going twice, going to the booby lady for $200"
"Yes! I'm so dirty!" Exclaiming Rouge dashes to the shower ripping her clothes off. "Noki come join me!"
Noki readily drops her shell and hops into the shower sharing the water.
"Those ladies looked so damn fine," Voice over of Knuckles as Noki and Rouge rub soap all over each other.
Randy pops a boner as he brings up a big jar of candy. "Next item up is for someone with a sweet tooth."
Tails foams at the mouth, "Take all my money!"
"I really need my sugar to be up if I'm gonna win this game," Tails explained as chocolate covered his face looking like a doo-doo eater.
A goofy drum beat plays as Eggman judges Tails while he collects his candy.
"Alright our next item will be HIDDEN again,"
"Let's cut to the chase nigga, I bet all my money." Knuckles just fans out his money and throws it all over Randy like he's a stripper.
"Okay, you and another castaway will be whisked away to a romantic picnic on Exile Beach! You will leave the auction immediately." Knuckles read his little note.
"So, which lovely lady is coming with you?"
"I'm taking Ms. Luigi, Mr. Randy."
Luigi's mouth drops open as he throws his money into the dirt.
Randy throws a map at Knuckles, "This will take you there, now get the fudge out of here."
"I guess Knuckles was trying to cripple me by taking away my Luigi guy," Rouge wiping her face off with a towel. "It's on bitch."
"As for the rest of you, get the fudge out too. The auction is OVER." Randy shoos everyone away from the challenge area.
Eggman jewishly lowers his head in a voiceover, "I really was hoping for an advantage to give me the edge over these buffoons, instead I got nothing. It might be time to play my idol, see?"
Exile Beach
Day 13
"Thanks for picking me," Luigi bashfully wipes his now shaggy hair out his face and back under his green hat.
"No problem, I just wanted to talk to you." Knuckles leads Luigi to the cute little blanket with a basket of grilled cheeses and champagne.
Luigi grabbed the bottle and timidly shook it.
"Pop the bubbly, you can do it."
"I am completely confused why I'm on this date with Knuckles instead of like any of the women left in the game. I thought maybe he would have taken D.K., due to their background and stuff. I guess I'm not the target then." Luigi briskly smiles, some leftover grilled cheese on his overalls.
Looking very sunburnt, Luigi guzzles down his champagne as he Knuckles sat together on the blanket, "So, what were you thinking about this vote?"
"I know you good with my old girl Rouge, so why not make a final four with me, you, Rouge, and D.K?" Knuckles asks while taking a decadent bite.
"If I'm gonna stay I need to flip the most vulnerable white boy, and that's Mr. L." Knuckles explains as the wind jostled his red dreadlocks around.
"Oh yeah! That sounds good, the Mushroom girls really need to go soon."
"I think D.K. wants Eggman gone tonights though." Knuckle shrugged and placed an arm around Luigi's waist.
"I see why Rouge fell for Knuckles." Luigi blushing intensely, his face resembling a tomato.
Knuckles forced his spiked echidna tongue down Luigi's throat as Luigi grabbed a grilled cheese to sexily rub on himself.
"Damn, you fine as fuck. Sonic has some good taste in white boys."
Luigi giggled as he unbuttoned his overalls and tribal men shout transitionally.
Airam Tribe
Day 13
Eerie chime music playing as the camera shows the corpse of a Blooper rotting on the beach.
"I've been feeling more and more vulnerable both in this game, and in my body," Eggman's moustache looking very droopy as he walks through the jungle, "I don't think this idol alone will deliver me to the finals. But thankfully I brought back another little something from the Space Colony ARK."
Eggman arrives at a small clearing where he has hidden the Time Fridge very conspicuously under some dead leaves.
"I'm coming back for you, Maria." Eggman pushes his cameraman and jumps into the fridge and dematerialized
The time fridge appeared back on old Ring beach.
A more gaunt and dirty doctor spilled out of the time fridge, a spry and not dead Maria Robotnik was chilling on the beach.
"Father? I had just saw you at the shelter? How? The fuck?"
"I'm from the future Maria. I needed to tell you that I love you one last time, there's something you need to know," Eggman begins barfing from the time travel interrupting him.
"I think I need to tell you something, dad, I have AIDS! I'm sorry I never told you-"
Eggman remembering that Maria fucked DK, narrowing his eyes. "Oh I understand completely and it's okay sweetie. Maria, you're going to die very soon. I love you, but what can you tell me about Rouge the bat? Her vote hinges on my survival."
Sighing, "I knew my AIDS would take me eventually...I think you can trust Rouge, she was in my plans with Froggy in the beginning."
Blood began pouring out of Eggman's Jewish nose, "I don't have much time, the time travel is very taxing on my weakened immune system, I love you Maria. Goodbye."
Maria grabbed her father in an intense embrace, looking back at camp to see Eggman back at camp and tears began flowing from her eyes and cunt. "Bye Dad, I love you too."
Eggman turned away and hobbled back into the Time Fridge a mess with his diagnosis of his disorder and his game.
"I couldn't find the doctor anywhere. Where the fuck is he? I need to talk to him now that Luigi was kidnapped away." Rouge pounds a fist into her open hand.
The time fridge rematerialized and spit out Eggman close to where Rouge was giving her disgruntled confessional.
Scrambling to his knees brushing the sand off of his gucci red jacket. "Oh perfect! Rouge! I need to speak with you."
"Same, Knuckles has to go."
"Sounds like a plan! I like the way you think, Rouge! I have the idol, I can use the idol to dominate the world and build a legacy of my own!"
"Do you really think it will be that easy?" Rouge sighs as Eggman reveals the idol from his underwear. "I think we could get five votes and not even need that idol, see?" She counts on her fingers.
"How can you be sure your intelligence reports are correct? How can you be sure about the five? Are you absolutely sure that Luigi and Tails can be trusted?!"
Rouge scoffs, "Well, believe what you wanna believe."
"We may be partners, but this doesn't mean I trust you." Eggman crosses his arms as the wind blows his squiggly mustache wildly. "Hmm, very well. Very well. Let's discuss how we are going to do this. I will go in first and distract Noki with a fake plot that she's going, allowing you to sneak in to try and flip Toadette. That's a challenge for such a worthy treasure hunter as yourself, isn't it bat-girl?"
Rouge winks at him and walks away.
"So, here's the story so far, Rouge has her tits in a twist about Knuckles. Which will be fantastic, when Luigi gets back from being a prisoner, I'll tell him and the fox boy the vote is D.K." Eggman rubs his hands together maniacally. "They'll never see me coming this time."
Eggman walks by the shelter to grab his canteen of water, looking very dehydrated he mouths, "Vote D.K." to a lounging Tails.
"O-kay..." Tails says despondent as he has some diarrhea leaking from his gaping anus.
Transitional shot of the jungle frogs doing their rain dance, cut to Rouge gliding back toward the shelter with a look of determination.
"So I shouldn't have ate all that candy, my tummy hurts…" Tails' stomach looking very engorged as he laid in the shelter.
Rouge was walking by the shelter in search of Toadette, "Oh hey, the vote is Knuckles, let Luigi know when he gets back."
"O-kay…" Tails' stomach makes a loud gurgle.
Rouge finds Toadette walking back from the well path, her mushroom braids all tied up in a bun. They walk side by side talking under they breath.
"Toadette really showed her loyalty to me last round ago by cutting Peach loose, I really need to make something stick here and I feel like she a real one," Rouge's tits sweating heavily.
"Like first Knuckles is pointing his finger at Luigi, then takes him to the romantic picnic," Rouge spitting.
"That really threw me for a loop too honestly, I was like BRR?!" Toadette shaking her head.
"And like at this point, as much history as I have with him, and even though he's technically on our side, do I have to cut Knuckles loose? Is what I'm thinking right now," Rouge sounding very articulate giving her pitch.
"And you know what?" Toadette makes a face. "I'm not against it."
Rouge nodding, "I don't think the Doctor would be against it either. But I'm worried we don't have the numbers."
"If we can get Tails then we still have four," laid over a shot of Tails sexily emerging from the water.
Rouge trying to hide her excitement at Toadette's loyalty, "I trust you Toadette, I like you and I fucking trust you."
"So since the chaos love me," Noki holding a chao up to her breast, "I have had no time to strategy at all. It's really disabled."
Noki sitting at the NiGHTS shrine chilling with the chaos as they try and teach Noki their North Korean song as D.K. walks up on them. They cower in fear.
"It's coo, it's coo little blue ninjas." D.K. pats a weird hero power chao on the head. "Noki, you good with getting revenge for Tikal?"
The chaos all make a cooing sound at this development.
"Yes, the doctor is BAGELED." Noki nods her head.
"I don't really understand Noki too well, but she's been real befo, she gonna be real on this vote. Trust." D.K. flashes a big grin at the camera.
The soundtrack plays a shimmery tone as Knuckles and Luigi walk back down the beach.
"Daddy!" Tails waves, still too sick from his candy binge.
Knuckles flies off to find the black people to confer on the vote.
No one is to be found at the shelter besides Luigi and Tails, Luigi plants a nice smooch on Tails cheek. "What's the plan?"
"Uh.. I think it's either D.K. or Knuckles… I was told different plans. What should we do sir?"
Luigi rubs his mustache and whispers in Tails ear.
Booming drum effects play as Knuckles, D.K., and Noki chill at the NiGHTS shrine, "Yo, y'all good on the doctor going?"
D.K. and Noki both nod in agreement.
"I think I got the green L to no longer be L." Knuckles cracks his knuckles.
"I wouldn't trust that slippery devil." Noki feeds a square fruit to a chao.
The camera cuts to an orca whale majestically diving out of the water.
Noki shown chopping coconuts aggressively, "It's revenge time."
The camera shifts to Noki and Eggman at the watering hole.
"Noki, I know you're mad about Tikal."
Noki dumps her empty canteen in the water, "So? Only one." Being purposefully curt.
"Well Luigi and Tails want to finish you off." Eggman takes a big swig of water as he ends his sentence.
"Eh scuse me?" Noki's mouth pops open.
"That's strange, thank you Doctor, power is knowledge." Noki walks away, production now urging the castaways to hurry the fuck up as the sun began to set.
Toadette grabbing her torch, "I'm a little nervous for tonight, this could be the vote that decides EVERYTHING."
"I don't know if I should listen to what Daddy Luigi told me, I feel like such a weak woman." Tails soberly walking to the tribal council.
Tribal Council
Night 13
The remaining castaways pile into the Casinopolis. "Jury come on out, Daisy, Bowser, Sonic, Peach, and Tikal voted out at the last tribal council." Peach, now suddenly Pink Gold Peach, her body looking banging. Tikal is sharply dressed and skinny.
"So a lot happened at the last two tribal councils, Knuckles how was it back at camp?" Randy asked like production didn't clue him in on the impending murder charges.
"Well, there seemed to be some wack shit going on as we voted out the Princess." Knuckles then elaborates, "Foxxy got lynched." He addresses the jury, Bowser shakes his head as Tikal gasps.
Rouge is an input hoe, "I also think Tikal going home was in direct relation to Peach going."
Intense close up on Toadette's sweaty round face.
"The chaos are doing well," Luigi states in the direction of Tikal, her face lights up in a smile.
Rouge is all like, "Yeah I didn't even eat one yet!"
Taking the opportunity to shame Randy states, "Tails, that's another child dead on your watch, are you worried that Child Services may arrest you when you get back home?"
Tails stammers unsure of how to answer, Rouge butting in for him, "This is why I got an abortion, this island is ruthless Randy, babies can not survive out here."
"That's some bullshit Rouge, both of the deaths were racially motivated and we know it." Knuckles stankly shakes his head, "Stop trying to justify your sin."
"Abortion is a simple procedure, I guess his civilization just hasn't advanced far enough." Eggman whitesplains.
"I been biting my tongue tonight Randy, but I'm pissed and in mourning. I didn't even get a choice like miss titty over there." D.K. wipes some tears away with his tie.
Noki pipes up, "Well, I'm voting the doctor, he betray me, he betray you."
D.K. nods blackly at this.
"With that threat against you Eggman, what are you basing your vote on tonight?"
The Doctor's eyes bugging out as he hesitates, "Intuition."
"Can you be any more specific?"
"No."
Randy being a bit annoyed, "Well it's time to vote, Blue Noki, you're up first."
Blue Noki saunters to the voting booth, "No liar here, I don't care about Luigi and his woman." She smirks as she holds up, [Eggman] "This is for Tikal."
Tails walks up and succinctly votes.
D.K. saunters up to urn, writes down a name in sloppy writing.
"I'm throwing my vote," Toadette holds up, [DK]
Knuckles' vote is obscured, "Buh bye bitch."
Shaking nervously Luigi struggles to keep his hands steady as he scribbles down a name.
Delicately picking up the marker Rouge takes a deep sigh before writing down a name.
Eggman jiggles his fat body up, "It's time for a takeover boy!"
As Eggman plops his fat ass back in his seat, Randy bellows, "I'll go get those votes."
Cymbals smash together as Tails looks particularly suicidal.
Randy returns with the urn, "If anybody has a hidden immunity idol and they want to play it now would be the time to do so."
"Play it Eggman, NOW." Rouge barks as Eggman just stares at Randy.
Toadette's mouth agape.
Randy pauses, "...I'll read the votes."
[Eggman]
[Eggman]
Eggman shrugs off the two votes as Rouge is shown pulling her hair behind him.
[Knuckles]
The soundtrack plays a menacing grumble as Randy flips the next vote.
[D.K.]
"Wow," D.K. shakes his head.
[DK]
"We have two votes on Eggman and D.K., one vote for Knuckles. Three votes left."
[Eggman]
Eggman tenses up and the camera cuts to Noki smirking.
Randy turns over the next vote.
[DK]
"And the sixteenth person voted out and sixth member of our jury…"
[D.K.]
"Y'all racist as fuck," D.K. hops up to go grab his torch. Knuckles and Noki both raise a fist in solidarity.
D.K. slams his torch into the hole and the flame shakes back and forth as Randy grimaces, "D.K., the tribe has spoken, time for you to go.."
D.K. turns around and give the remaining castaways the finger. Noki is shown sobbing into her hands.
"Well as we approach the end game, morality seems to fly out of the window. I wonder if you will all be able to sleep tonight with what you have done. Head back to camp, you disgust me."
The castaways all stand up as the camera lingers on the jury looking kinda pissed sitting on the bench.
D.K. with his head resting on his big black hand all like, "Dammmn. I really came out here to fight like a warrior and it's just too fucking much. Rouge is faker than faux fur."
NEXT TIME ON SURVIVOR
Tails screaming in AIDS-fueled rage at Luigi., "YOU HAD SEX?!"
"There's just so much toxic masculinity out here." The camera cuts to Luigi and Tails domestically abusing each other.
"Doctor give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you." Toadette slips off her dress.
And at the most explosive tribal council ever, "No no no, play the idol for yourself!"