Randy spreading cream cheese onto a bagel in his kitchen, "Previously on… Survivor!"
Immediate cut to Tails screaming as Knuckles fucks him, "After Tails caught Luigi and Knuckles en flagrante Luigi made the move of offering Tails's hole to Knuckles. After a revealing Immunity challenge," shot of Knuckles' very black doll burning, "it was Luigi that came out on top."
"The stage seemed set for another race war with Knuckles and Eggman as the targets," shot of Knuckles, Rouge, Toadette and Noki gathering at the Nights shrine, "But after it became clear Toadette and Rouge weren't flipping back," shots of Rouge throwing her arms around Luigi and Toadette getting railed by Eggman at the well, "Noki blew up and spilled the beans, throwing her ally Toadette under the bus and wreaking havoc at camp," shot of Toadette running away from camp in tears.
"At tribal council, tensions flared regarding the Doctor's idol," shot of Luigi going like no no no, "but in the end, his idol was wasted as Noki's big mouth saw her blindsided by Rouge, Luigi, and her girl Toadette," shot of Toadette holding up her vote for [Noki- Shell Sister]
Randy drunkenly letting the bagel slip off of him, "Six are left, who will be voted out tonight?"
Airam Tribe
Night 14
Shot of a snake coiling around an unconscious Goomba.
Toadette leading the tribe back to camp in the dark, her face shining in the light of her torch.
"Noki was my ally for a long time in this game, but it was time to cut her loose," Toadette rationalizing while leaning against a tree. "She was dragging me down."
Knuckles aggressively breaks up some sticks to stoke the fire as everyone lazily takes a seat by the fire. Rouge sits down next to Toadette, putting an arm on her stubby leg comfortingly.
"I honestly don't know what kind of game Toadette's playing cutting two of her closest girls like that but okai," Rouge popping her tongue.
Shot of some clouds passing by the moon before cutting to the two remaining girls walking into the cave where the entrance to Ice Cap is, Rouge has her arms crossed over her titties because it's a little chilly.
"So that was a big tranny mess," Toadette twirling her braid.
"It was, but I think we're in a position to call some muffuckin shots now, no more wild cards," Rouge narrowing her eyes feministly.
Toadette savagely, "We need to split up the couple before we lose the chance," ominous shot of Tails sitting on Luigi's dick by the fire. "We just need to get Knucks and the Doctor to see past each other."
Rouge blinks, "I couldn't agree more. Tails gotta go."
"Tails?" Toadette snorts out a chuckle, "He's been the biggest bitch of the whole game, I don't even think Sonic would vote for him to win. I was talking about Luigi, what has he done to piss anyone off?"
"T needs to back off Luigi," Rouge hovering by a chao fruit tree defensively, "If I can just convince her Tails needs to go first, you may as well just write me the check. Everyone else will do what I say."
Toadette sitting in a sunny clearing, "I think my gamble definitely paid off, I may have traded off an ally but now I have a little more weight behind my words to throw around."
Knuckles staring out at the sea stoically, just a boy from the hood happy to see the ocean.
"It's been hard out here, having loved and lost and now I'm becoming a daddy maybe for real dis time?" soft piano music playing over Knuckles spitting into the well, "Noki may have been on my side but I still full like my strategy of listening to my dick is working, namsaying. If I can't dickmatize those ladies into keeping me over the doctor," shot of Toadette and Rouge looking like good judies laughing at the fire, "at least I cuh convince the boys."
Suddenly, Knuckles is surprised by Tails approaching him on the beach, "Ay you back for round two bitch?"
Tails does a little curtsy, wobbling in pregnancy, "My lord Knuckles, your wisdom and mercy are legendary. We would like to propose a betrothal between you and Baby Luigi."
Knuckles caught off-guard, "Uhh, sure nigga."
"People may say being a mother in this game is a disadvantage," Tails coyly curled up on a bed of flowers with Tanya Ann and Baby Luigi sleeping at his tit, "but I see every child as an opportunity for another non-aggression pact. If they're smart they'll take me out before I go into labor… but I don't think I should give them the chance."
"Doctor Eggman," Tails brightly brushing away the vined entrance to the Doctor's provisional jungle office practice where Rouge's abortion was performed, "I need you to induce labor."
"This could be very dangerous for the mother and the baby," Eggman warns him while adjusting his glasses, he pulls a syringe out of his bag.
"I DON'T CARE!" Tails grabs the needle and jabs himself right in the puss, he starts wailing as he contracts.
"Tails, no!" the Doctor frantically throwing on his scrubs and preparing his tools, "I need to talk to you first, why didn't that jigaboo Knuckles go home tonight?"
"Aaaaah, I don't know," Tails yelling deliriously.
"NURSE LUIGI," the Doctor barks, Luigi appears from behind a tree again, "Prop this pussy open as you explain why you switched your vote."
Luigi focuses his gaze right into Tails's hole in discomfort, "Yes Doctor. The Noki would stop at nothing to get you out. She was still mad about Tikal-" he is interrupted by Tails screaming more.
"Push, Tails!" Eggman sweating from his forehead as he places a rock in Tails's mouth for him to bite down on.
Luigi giving the Doctor a troubled look, "There's something wrong with the baby, Doctor," as he grimaces at the bright blue liquid starting to ooze from Tails's vagina. "It's still not crowning."
"Then we'll resort to more drastic measures," Eggman pulls the Piko Piko Hammer that Amy left behind on the island out of his bag and lands it right on Tails's uterus, and finally a small puddle of fluorescent water squirts out of his pussy, tainted with afterbirth. It forms into the water monster Chaos 0.
Luigi dives to the ground to pick up the baby, but stops wide-eyed. "Doctor, there's no pulse." Eggman looks around wildly as Tails begins to hyperventilate causing him to shart out some more blood.
"What's wrong with the baby?" Tails moaning as the cameramen lead Nurse Gollum over, she snatches the baby out of Luigi's hands and dips into a helicopter. "Where are you taking my baby?!"
"Well lads, looks like job well done, we got him out," Eggman putting a hand on each of his allies' shoulders. "I hope this proves my loyalty, it's of vital importance that we actually stick together on this next vote. I would go to rocks for you boys tomorrow night if need be."
"This alliance was forged in Foxxy Kong's blood," the Doctor doing some stretches to limber up, "You can't break a blood oath. And I'll ride to the thousand dollars on these faggots' weak skinny shoulders."
"If I lost another baby my game might as well be over," Tails weeping forlornly as he looks over a cliff, the umbilical cord still dangling out of him.
Immunity Challenge
Day 15
"Come on in guys!" Randy stands in front of a rather small-looking challenge setup covered in a tarp. The final six file into their mat, close-up shot of Knuckles looking incredulous at the mystery challenge. "Ready to get to today's Immunity challenge?"
The castaways all start hooting and hollering except Tails who is still weak from birthing.
"First things first, Luigi I'll take back Immunity," Randy doing a gay hand motion.
Luigi who has taken off his green undershirt and is just wearing his overalls, it's a hot day, poses sexily in front of the mat. "You'll have to come and take it Randy," giggles from the castaways as Randy rolls his eyes before coming to retrieve it.
"This is our most shocking Immunity challenge yet," Randy dramatically pulls off the tarp to revel Nurse Gollum holding some weird-looking thermometers. "It's time to get tested."
"Ay Randy we already had a math challenge," Knuckles in uneducated anger.
Nurse Gollum smiles at the urban man condescendingly, "These are home HIV tests."
Tails clapping a hand to his mouth as Toadette exchanges a confused look with Rouge. The blood drains from Eggman's face.
"After the tests I've run on the babies I have reason to believe there's been a bit of an outbreak at camp," Nurse Gollum shaking her head judgmentally, her conjoined fetus jiggling. "This is the ultimate test of your survival skills."
"One by one we're going to reveal your OraQuick results and get to the bottom of this, ONLY those with a negative test will be eligible for Immunity today," Randy explains as tribal screaming music plays over shots of the castaways all looking mortified.
Helicopter shot swirls over the challenge setup from unnecessarily far away to show the time lapse of the tests being taken.
Nurse Gollum stands at a table with everyone's OraQuick swabber hidden inside a covered platter, "First up is Tails," she announces chipperly, "If there's something wrong with the pup there's sure to be something wrong with the bitch."
Tails nervously steps up to the table to take the cover off the first platter. "Positive, tut tut tut" Nurse Gollum chides him as he bursts into tears.
"I knew God would punish me for being gay," Tails tugging at his tails in self-hatred. "I probably gave AIDS to all the fathers of my children, not to mention the babies."
"Next up, Luigi," Nurse Gollum turning to the next-gayest remaining castaway. Luigi painstakingly walks over to pull the lid off his platter. "Also positive, you're out of the challenge Luigi," Luigi stepping over to the bench looking rather unsurprised due to all the dick he's taken this season. He hugs his boyfriend in solidarity.
Luigi sniffing at the cameraman, "This challenge is homophobic as fuck."
"Knuckles, come on down," Nurse Gollum chirps as Knuckles makes his way to the table, he reveals the contents of his platter to be another positive test to the sound of a heavy drum beat.
"I mean yo I ain't surprised, but all the hole was and still is worth it," Knuckles laying man-spread on the beach looking nonplussed.
"That's half of the tribe infected with HIV," Randy muses, "Only three still eligible for immunity," camera narrows on the two ladies and Eggman. Rouge's wings are quivering with anxiety as Eggman struggles to look calm.
"Next up is Toadette," Nurse Gollum gestures to the fourth platter, she scurries over looking sweaty. "And she is… positive!"
"Oh, no!" Toadette kicking the ground before she joins the boys on the bench dejectedly.
"I've only given myself up to two men on the island…" Toadette crossing her legs tightly in paranoia as shots of Eggman and Knuckles are shown, "It was definitely Knuckles," she concludes racistly.
Some rhythmic chanting in the soundtrack swells to a deafening volume as Eggman is called up next.
"Eggman, one in two shot at Immunity…" Randy looking very disgusted.
"I really need to keep a poker face, because I know exactly who patient zero on the island was thanks to the Time Fridge, it was my daughter Maria," Eggman holding a knee with both hands. "If these fools trace it back to me my game might be over, but I could only hold out hope that she never passed the disease to me…"
"Positive," Nurse Gollum shaking her head, "You're out Doctor."
"No way!" Eggman plays up surprise as he tosses his OraQuick test into the ocean. He stomps over to the bench in a huff.
"Rouge, that means if you also test positive, tonight the necklace goes to NOBODY…" Randy warning ominously as a shot of Rouge trying to rub the sweat off of her glowing titties is shown.
Intense slow musical beats as Rouge flutters over to the table, and slowly lifts the lid of her platter…
"And… ROUGE WINS IMMUNITY!"
Rouge jumping up and down cheering, "Oh my god, I can't believe it!" as we see reactions of anger and disbelief on the bench.
"It's really a sick ass joke that shorty came out clean," Knuckles sharpening his Dig Claws, "I woulda thought she gave me the damn thing."
"One last twist…" Randy announces to the castaways who other than Rouge and Eggman are looking very troubled by their diagnosis. "Rouge, as winner of Immunity you will have to BANISH one member of the Airam tribe, meaning they will be sent to Exile until tomorrow, they cannot vote tonight but ALSO cannot be voted for. That means that along with yourself, you are guaranteeing one other person a one in five shot at the thousand dollars."
Toadette's mouth pops open in surprise as dramatic low tones play, she turns to Rouge with a pleading look. Shot of Luigi narrowing his eyes hopefully.
Rouge looking very overwhelmed, captions pick up her mouthing "I need you here" to Toadette. "Uh, I choose…" she gulps in hesitation, "The Doctor."
"Yes!" The Doctor throwing up his hands victoriously, he jumps off the bench to stand uncomfortably close to Randy.
"That means, Toadette, Knuckles, Luigi and Tails, the game ends for one of you tonight. I'll see you at Tribal Council," Randy dips into a helicopter with Eggman and Nurse Gollum.
"What about my baby?" Tails shrieking over the propellers.
"What?" Nurse Gollum calls back as the helicopter flies away.
"I'm so shook I overcame that extremely racist challenge design, I've really done proud by my people," Rouge sitting up very straight to accentuate her good health. "As for the banishing, sending the Doctor was really a no-brainer. Not that I don't trust him, but he'll only get in the way of my plans tonight," over slow-motion shots of the AIDS-ridden tribe walking away from the challenge.
Exile Beach
Day 15
Eggman steps off the boat onto Exile Beach, he plops flat on the sand with his freakishly long legs and sighs in relief.
"I think I pulled off that performance," Eggman shirtless sitting in the water, "Guarantee you they'll blame the HIV on black or gay, I'm off scot-free."
The Doctor handily sparks a fire and sits on the beach watching the sunset, the music slowly changes to a frantic pace.
"But the more I sat there, the more I realized I could be spending this time removing all traces." Eggman gives a creepy stare to the camera. "I brought a little something with me to Exile in my butthole, and I think if I go back far enough I could eliminate the disease from my dear dead daughter's body… maybe it could even save her life."
Eggman straining with constipation as he passes the Time Fridge that he smuggled to Exile Beach, after wiping some of the poop off he hops in and goes back a few weeks to before the contestants were flown out. Maria is donning a white sunhat in the L.A. hotel room they were staying in during casting, "Father you look ill."
"No time for that Maria, do you have AIDS already?" Eggman breathless.
Maria's eyes watering with guilt, "Yes."
Eggman hops right back into the Time Fridge and this time sets the date back about a decade, around when Eggman formally adopted his cousin Maria and started fucking her.
The Time Fridge materializes in their luxury Egg Fleet jet, Maria is lounged nude on a leather couch sipping cider, "Oh, Father you were just in the bathroom?"
"Do you have AIDS?" he snaps before coughing up a little blood.
Maria recoils on her couch and pulls a blanket over her coochie to hide her shame, "How did you know?"
Frustrated though relieved the AIDS didn't come from him, Eggman gets back in the Time Fridge and this time goes back to the '80s, he emerges on the Space Colony ARK where Maria is getting railed by Shadow in the control room.
Eggman feeling very lightheaded from the messy time travel frowns in jealousy at this display, "Maria do you have AIDS?"
Shadow and Maria both yelp as they didn't realize he was there, Shadow pulls out of Maria fast as fuck and glares at her, "You have AIDS?"
Maria looking back and forth at the two men red in the face, "M-maybe," she mutters and Shadow runs the fuck away. "Who the fuck are you creep?"
"Jesus how long have you had AIDS for?" Eggman starting to see double, gets back in the Time Fridge to go back further, but his gloved finger slips and hits a wrong button, causing him to swirl around all "wooooah," he spawns on Day 8, right in the passenger side of the 2017 Toyota Camry Maria is about to die in.
Eggman sobbing, blood pouring out of his nose, as he embraces Maria, "Oh my beautiful daughter, get out of the car you're going to die here."
"You get out of the car dad, the race is about to start," Maria looking confused. "What are you talking about?"
The Time Fridge began to sizzle and smoke from overuse and also some poop got in it. It suddenly jerks forward a minute to the middle of the race, Eggman is just like "Bail!" and tries to go back to the present and smashes all the buttons, the Time Fridge takes a big fart and Eggman pokes his head out to see twilight over Route 101, he is inside the charred remains of the 2017 Toyota Camry.
"Ha ha, get a load of this!" Eggman elated that he didn't die with his daughter, only to look down and see a windshield wiper stuck in his man titty. He gasps, collapsing back into the Time Fridge, and it vanishes again.
Airam Tribe
Day 15
Some Paratroopas are seen fighting over a dead Chao corpse.
Shot of the other five castaways returning to camp, everyone separates for a moment to ponder on how their lives have changed following the HIV revelation.
Tails is shown corralling Baby Luigi and Tanya Ann by the shelter, "I need to tell you both that I've ruined your lives forever, I'm a horrible mother."
Baby Luigi now knows how to talk, shrieks in a British accent, "I don't want to marry him mommy!"
"With the necklace around my neck and everyone distracted by their AIDS, now is the perfect time to strike," Rouge striking a hot pose on a turtle's back.
She slowly glides to a landing by the Nights shrine, the Chaos are wailing in anarchy awaiting the return of their savior. Knuckles and Toadette soon arrive coming down the path, the Chaos are delighted to see Knuckles and skip up to him.
"Looks like it's checkmate on the white gays tonight, folks," Rouge snapping her fingers sultrily.
"For once segregation works in our favor, God bless you for sending the Doctor away," Knuckles scratching the back of his neck, "T or L?"
Rouge looking at Toadette faux-diplomatically, "I think T, he voted for you last night. L voted for Noki with us, she blew up the plan to Tails so it changed last minute."
Knuckles nodding quickly, "I full you. Shorty wants me to politically marry his baby, probably gave me the gay disease too."
Rouge biting her lip, "Maybe so." Toadette subtly giving the camera stank face in disbelief.
"So I guess it's settled," Toadette staying diplomatic though clearly seething with Latina rage.
"Yeah I'll be seen as an alliance-breaker, what the fuck of it?" Knuckles viewing the preview for voting out Tails and seeing the -10 universal opinion penalty.
"I wish she had just sent Knucks instead," Toadette wrathfully undoing her hair. "That filthy echidna gave me AIDS, how am I supposed to trust him now?"
Shot of a giant Blooper tentacle ominously rising out of the water.
"Baby Luigi took the news about the AIDS really hard, and now he's threatening to refuse Knuckles's hand in marriage. This could like totally ruin my game," Tails frowning in failed motherhood.
"I want to throw myself in the fire mummy, I won't do it!" Baby Luigi struggling as Tails restrains him in the shelter. "You can't make me!"
Tails slaps his son across the face, causing a nearby Tanya Ann's mouth to drop open. "I went through too much to give you life for this," he says shakily.
Luigi awkwardly walks into the scene of child abuse, "Mama mia! I'm sorry to interrupt you honey but I'm getting nervous, everyone else just dipped from camp."
"Hold him down Tanya Ann," Tails casts a menacing look at his daughter as she scurries over, he stands up, popping a painkiller from a bottle he found in Daisy's bag, "So what's the plan daddy?" he buries himself in Luigi's chest in a chilling change of demeanor.
"I know you probably still want Knuckles out…" Luigi speaking delicately to his emotionally fragile boyfriend.
"Actually, I want Toadette," Tails cuts him off, "She's sneaky. I believe everything Blue Noki told me, she wants me out."
Luigi's eyebrows wiggle sexually, "You're right. She's a much bigger threat. Let me go talk to my girl Rouge about it," he skidaddles.
"I'll get Knuckles's vote," Tails returning to his children, "Help me get this dress on him Tanya Ann, we have to make him look fresh as a daisy to be presented to his betrothed."
"I'm glad Luigi didn't need to be convinced," Tails doing some knitting by the fire, there's no need to break my marriage-allegiance with Knuckles when I can still capitalize off of it."
Timelapse shot of the sun starting to set in the sky as some clouds pass by, flute trills and some ethnic ululating are heard.
Luigi and Rouge are sitting at the edge of a little lake in the jungle, dipping their feet in.
"Bitch, I can't believe you're the only one not infected," Luigi punching Rouge's arm playfully.
Rouge looks at him a little cockeyed, "Well who gave it to you?"
Luigi shrugs, "Beats me, between Sonic, Knuckles, Tails…"
"So are you ready to let the kid go?" Rouge cutting it to the chase with Luigi laid over a shot of Tails applying makeup on Baby Luigi, "Toadette and Knucks are locked in, I can't convince them otherwise."
Luigi sighing with discomfort, "Jesus, we just found out we have AIDS, can't we give it a day?"
Rouge frowning, "It would just put us in a bind, I mean I don't know if burning Knuckles is-"
Luigi shaking his head, blurts "Not Knuckles, I mean Tails doesn't want Knuckles out, and I mean, uh, neither do I, honestly, D 2 B."
"Church," Rouge concedes. "So he wants T out?"
Luigi nods, "That's what we decided."
Rouge thinking a moment before speaking, "Well maybe we should just split, you don't have to vote out ya boy."
Luigi turns to her starting to look annoyed, "And just let him go home? Why do we need to keep Toadette?"
"She gave a lot for us, I mean she turned on her girl for us last night," Rouge exasperated.
"For us?" Luigi's eyes popping out, "For Knucks, that's who she saved."
"It was the first real disagreement we've had as allies," Rouge with a hand on a knee, "but I know he'll see reason. It's nothing against him and out of his hands anyway. He can split his runner-up prize with the kid," she yawns.
"Maybe she's right, but I don't think I can vote him out," Luigi shaking a little with indecision. "It's gonna be hard for me not to warn him, but that could blow everything up."
Time-lapse shot of a bunch of insects breaking into a Chao fruit is shown.
"I went back to camp to look for the boys to make sure I was covered on both sides," Knuckles looking bewildered as he sits on the big fallen pillar in the Hero garden, "but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next."
"Yo T," Knuckles approaches the shelter, not caring to distinguish Tails's name from Toadette's.
Tails pops out of the shelter looking very matriarchal with his arms behind his back, as Tanya Ann stands next to him looking slightly made up and dismayed. "Knuckles, I present to you," Tails steps to the side to reveal Baby Luigi on his arm, wearing an elegant little white gown, "Your future bride, Baby Luigi."
"At this point I understand how Knuckles operates," Tails sprawled out on the sand wearing some children's sunglasses, "if I can promise him the potential of something to fuck in the future, he'll really respond to it."
Knuckles is all like "Ba-bam, she's gorgeous," causing Tails to beam with pride for a moment before Baby Luigi starts wailing again.
"I won't do it mummy, I won't marry him!" Baby Luigi flailing around, Tails gives Tanya Ann the look and she grabs Baby Luigi by the other arm. "I'll kill him mummy!"
Knuckles chuckles before he threatens Baby Luigi, "A trick like me's got nine lives in this game, haven't you noticed?"
"You'll do no such thing," Tails struggles to regain composure, "The joining of our houses will prove long and fruitful," he yells over his son's cries, "I'm glad we can help each other in this game."
"Me too the fuck," Knuckles licking his lips envisioning what the genetic combination of Luigi and Tails would look like at a rape-appropriate age.
"But mother," Tanya Ann finally speaks up, poking on Tails's shoulder gently and whispering in her ear, "Why don't we just betroth Knuckles to me? My brother is inconsolable."
Tails slaps his daughter away, "You really think I would marry my heir and first-born to him?" he snaps in a low voice.
Taking advantage of the moment of distraction, Baby Luigi wrests himself free, shrieking annoyingly as he runs over to the shelter where he finds Daisy's last bottle of painkillers.
"Don't touch those, mommy needs those for her vagina pain!" Tails barking as he rushes over to the shelter, but it was too late as Baby Luigi had already tipped the entire ass bottle into his mouth.
"This is your fault mummy," he continues sobbing for a few more seconds, then collapses, falling off the shelter into the fire, burning to a crisp in a matter of seconds.
"NO!" Tails screaming, tears immediately forming in his eyes as he doubles over. "MEDIC!"
Knuckles, no longer down for this jumps and glides away. Tanya Ann sees this and follows suit, sticking her little tails out of her spiky shell to fly away.
Nurse Gollum's helicopter touches down, she empties a fire extinguisher all over camp then drags Baby Luigi's limp body out of the fire pit by the foot onto a stretcher, then notices his mouth is still on fire. "Okay just pee in here for me please," she demands one of the cameramen, pointing at the charred child's mouth, holding up the empty fire extinguisher pointedly.
"He's dead," Nurse Gollum concludes before getting back in the chopper and dipping out.
Luigi awkwardly walking back into camp, "Mama Mia!" he exclaims again, "Is that our son?" he comforts his hysterical lover, hiding his joy that he no longer bears the responsibility of fatherhood.
"Yes, our son is dead!" Tails embracing Baby Luigi's overdosed and charred body frantically.
"It didn't seem like the right moment to tell him," Luigi's guilt palpable as he washes his hands and face off in the ocean.
Timelapse of Baby Luigi's grave getting filled as the sun continues dipping.
Toadette and Rouge are shown in the Ice Cap entrance cave again, production requested they meet there again to showcase Rouge's erect nips.
Toadette looking more than a little pissy, "So I guess it's Tails now, huh?"
"It makes more sense, trust me," Rouge trying to keep her cool, "Knuckles is way more solid this way, and Luigi is the only one I trust won't make us go to fire-"
"You're talking like the Doctor isn't going to come back after the vote," Toadette points out cuttingly in horrible dramatic irony.
"It doesn't matter, a single idol play and we could be stuck with the couple at four, this is the only move," Rouge uncompromising with her logic. "Tails is probably gonna convince Luigi to write your name down tonight anyway, so."
Toadette growling with frustration, "Knuckles broke my heart and gave me AIDS, and you want me to rely on him?"
Rouge stifling a laugh, "Well I didn't get it hon, you sure you didn't give it to him?"
"When I heard that I was just like," Toadette shaking her head as she sits at a tree, bellowing tribal yelling is heard, "That bitch. But if she's right about the boys targeting me, my hands might be tied."
Camera shows Tails sobbing at Baby Luigi's grave on the beach, the bellowing tribal yelling repeats as Toadette scurries up discreetly and whispers in his ear, the captions only pick up the words "Tanya Ann."
Music intensifying to a hurried pace as the final five of potential six gather their bags and torches to go to Tribal.
"I just heard something that shocked me," Tails looking very distressed as he rubs cream on his gooch, "Without my painkillers, I can't tell if I believe her or not."
"Pour one out for the little Baby homie I was 'posed to marry," Knuckles rubbing one out to de-stress before Tribal, "But it's cool cuz we gonna send your mommy to join you soon, in Ponderosa," he grins at his bad analogy.
Toadette sounding stone-cold in voice-over as the castaways are shown filing off to Tribal, "This vote will change everything."
Tribal Council
Night 15
Shot of Randy looking blazed as militaristic beats accompany the tribe's entrance, a cryptic shot shown of a cobweb zooms out to just be Noki's puss as she files in with the jury. "We'll now bring in the members of our jury, Daisy, Bowser, Sonic, Peach, Tikal, D.K., and Noki, voted out at the last Tribal Council," Toadette avoids Noki's gaze from her stool in the front row as Noki takes her seat at the bench bitchily, showing off her designer shoes she got back from her luggage at ponderosa. Peach whispers to Tikal, "Where's the doctor?"
"Okay, let's get things started," slow whistling music starts as Randy looks for someone to pick on, "First question is for-"
"I have a question for YOU, actually, Randy," Tails points a gloved finger at the host, "Where the fuck is my baby Chaos 0?" The jury is surprised at Tails's aggression, shot of Peach gasping.
Randy unfazed, "Your baby is healthy and in good care with the medical team, to be returned to you tomorrow, regardless of tonight's outcome," he adds stankly. "So the jury have probably noticed Eggman is nowhere to be found. Luigi, wanna explain what happened at the challenge today?"
Luigi looking hella called out, gulps anxiously. "Well we all, well except Rouge, found out that we have HIV," the jury is collectively very shook by this apart from Daisy, who looks at everyone around her in disgust; Bowser coughs uncomfortably, Sonic looking down at his dick in horror, Tikal throwing a protective hand in front of her vagina.
Rouge picking up the awkward moment, "And so I won the challenge, and banished Eggman to exile until tomorrow."
"Toadette, care to share any feelings about your diagnosis?" Randy asks inappropriately.
"It's life-changing, that's for sure," Toadette gives a grim, heaving sigh. "But that's the game of Survivor sometimes," Peach is shown looking incredulous at this remark on the jury.
"And Tails, on top of all this, you suffered another loss today," Randy feigning sorrow for Tails.
A tear rolls down Tails's gay cheek, "Yes, Baby Luigi is dead. But my game and my two remaining children live on, I'm gonna win this for him, Sonic Jr., AND Foxxy Kong," Luigi offers him an arm as Rouge is shown giving a fake little smile, then a shot of the jury showing D.K. scrunching his mouth up and Sonic shaking his head.
"Rouge, how important is that necklace and clean bill of health to you tonight?"
Rouge cheesing it up for the jury, "This was the most important challenge yet because of the twist, I couldn't have picked a better time to not have AIDS."
"Knuckles, how do you feel going into tonight's vote?"
Knuckles flaring his nostrils, "Look, alls I can say is, the numbers are finally in my favor. I'ma shut up and stick to the plan." Shot of Luigi squinting in reaction to this, Tails casts an uncertain look over at Toadette, who just smiles with her little mouth.
"Well I guess on that note, it's time to vote," Randy gesturing to the urn, "Luigi, you're up."
Luigi with scalding eyes holds up a vote for [Toadette] "You're shady and I hope you actually go home tonight. Back to the elf factory."
Toadette breathing nervously as she holds up a vote, "Not my first choice tonight, but I'll take it," camera shows Tails closing his eyes as the drum beat picks up.
Knuckles draws an elaborate stick figure rendering of three of five children crossed out below the name [Tails] "Sorry little bud but your pussy too loosie."
Rouge fakely giggles as she holds up an unseen vote, "Sorry!" a shot lingers on Toadette and Tails before fading into the fire.
Music intensifies as Tails slowly glides over to the urn, he leans on the table putting his head in his hands for a hot minute as he thinks on it. "Okay, so it would be one, two…" he's counting on his fingers. Shot of Noki bending over from the jury to see what's taking him so long. "Okay. Alright." He draws a line very uncertainly, "Sorry but it has to be you tonight."
Music settling down to a shimmery effect as Tails returns to his seat, Toadette is sweating. Randy raises a brow "I'll go get the votes."
"If anyone has a Hidden Immunity Idol, trolled, this is the last round to play one," everyone looking regretful that they were too distracted by the AIDS stuff to look for the re-hidden Idol, which was actually placed discreetly into the fire pit on Exile Beach.
"Okay, once the votes are read the decision is final, person voted out will pack their knives and go, I'll read the votes."
Randy takes the top off the urn and hangs it on his penis, then pulls the first vote out of his sleeve [Tails] "One vote Tails." Tikal is shown clapping at the cock magic trick.
"Next vote," Randy unfolds a vote for [Toadette] "One vote Tails, one vote Toadette." Toadette shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Luigi giving her a side-eye.
Randy yanks open the vote for [Tails] with offensive drawings on it, "That's two votes Tails, one vote Toadette," Tails looking highly insulted by the vote as Knuckles cracks a smile, Rouge bites her lip.
Music builds as Randy slowly reveals the next vote for [Knuckles], a gong sounds. "That's two votes Tails, one vote Toadette, one vote Knuckles, one vote left." Knuckles is shown furrowing his red brow as Rouge whips her head from his direction to Luigi's in shock. Camera closes in on Tails smizing.
"Last vote…" Randy carefully flips the parchment, [Knuckles]. "We're tied, two votes each for Tails and Knuckles," close-up of Luigi wincing.
Shot of Rouge turning to Toadette audibly mouthing "What?" Toadette ignores her, looking at Randy; Rouge turns to Luigi who returns her desperate look.
"So what's gonna happen is a revote, Rouge, Luigi and Toadette will have the only votes and you can only vote for Tails or Knuckles. Rouge come take the urn," he holds out the urn for Rouge, who mouths something uncertain at Luigi before striding over to vote. Camera lingers on Luigi looking down.
Rouge twirls the pen before writing [Tails] again.
Toadette smiles knowingly as she starts writing her vote.
Luigi staring at the camera frantically, "This is a no-win situation," he holds up a vote. Camera shows Tails and Knuckles both in profile.
Randy once again sets the urn down at his podium, "Once the votes are read, the decision is final."
Shot of Tails reaching for Knuckles's hand in solidarity, Knuckles is just like "pfft".
"First vote…" Randy unfolds a vote for [Tails], Luigi leans over to hug Tails sitting next to him.
Ascending string music playing as Randy reveals the next vote, for [Knuckles] "One vote Tails, one vote Knuckles, one vote left." Knuckles doesn't flinch, staring at Randy with determination, while Tails folds into Luigi and closes his eyes again.
"Eighteenth person voted out and the eighth member of our jury," [Knuckles], "That's two and that's enough." Knuckles looks up at the black sky as he grabs his bag, Rouge is hiding her face in shock. Toadette is shown giggling silently as Tails gives Luigi's dick an approving squeeze.
"Knuckles, the tribe has spoken," Randy snuffs Knuckles's torch, "time for you to go." Knuckles holds up the finger behind him as he slowly vanishes into the spooky blue light.
"Well, that was clearly-"
"Hold that thought Randy," the idol play music picks up as Nurse Gollum storms into Tribal Council out of nowhere, D.K. is slapping his knees. "I have some important news for everybody, Nurse Goodly bring him in!"
Nurse Goodly is pushing a stretcher along slowly with a knee, due to her lack of arms. On it lay the corpse of Eggman, windshield wiper sticking out of his chest.
Nurse Gollum addresses the cast somberly, "We found him in a mysteriously broken down refrigerator next to the enclosure we've been keeping the baby in," she casts a suspicious eye at Tails, "the Doctor is dead, his extremely rare symptoms line up with an AIDS-related car accident. I've only seen one before in my life," Gollum blinks, "but regardless, the Doctor can no longer compete."
"And just like that it's the final four, now go the fuck back to camp Dancing with the Stars is on," Randy shoos away the baffled castaways. Toadette looks absolutely punked as Rouge glares at her with an I told you so bitch slant. Peach sheds a tear from the jury as Daisy nods knowingly, Tails isn't really sad due to Eggman burning his child, but is still looking a little sad over Baby Luigi as he grabs his torch and files out.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck, I was really close as hell nigga," Knuckles growling in the Marshes' living room causing Sharon to look over worriedly, "False ass game for false ass hoes, namsaying. Rouge, for all you put me through, sis, you betta pull this one out."
Small montage of Eggman's moments from the game play as the credits roll, including him making out with Maria, bopping on the Rainbow Cruise, fucking Peach on the Space Colony ARK, fades into a greyed-out photo of him with 'In Memoriam' displayed on the screen.
NEXT TIME ON… SURVIVOR.
In our special finale event, which of the final four will come out on top with the thousand dollar prize?
Will it be… Luigi, the daddy? "Fuck you Mario, fuck you Sonic, and the Olympic Games, I'm still here."
Rouge, the femme fatale? "I'll never lose to the likes of you."
Tails, the mawma? "I have a million times more to play for now than before."
Or Toadette, the ambiguously brown? "I'd have to be retarded to jump ship now."