MY LAST NAME

Chapter 24

Draco sighed a sharp sigh. He perched on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. He didn't know the time but he knew it was early. Dawn was just beginning to break and he could hear the first birds waking into song. Hermione was still blissfully asleep not knowing that Draco wasn't able to sleep a wink all night. He stood up and walked through into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. The fluorescent lights sparked to life causing Draco to squint at the sudden brightness. Once his eyes has adjusted, he looked at his reflection and was shocked at what he saw. His eyes were sunken and his skin, pale. More pale than usual. His hair was a little messy and a few strands fell in front of his face. He stood up, took a deep breath and decided to have a cold shower.

He hated being like this. He hated worrying, making Hermione restless, dragging her into it all... But he knew he wasn't able to get through it all without her. He felt so selfish, and that made his mood worse. After his shower, he got dressed and brushed his long hair out of his face. It was now just off his shoulders and he would soon need it cutting.

He walked out and into the living area and decided to sit down on the comforting sofa near the fire. He'd been sat only a few minutes before his eyes started to slowly close.

Hermione awoke to an empty bed and was alarmed at first but talked herself out of getting panicked. She jumped out of bed and into her dressing gown before searching for Draco. She didn't have to search far; Draco was slumped on her sofa, eyes closed, sleeping. He looked so peaceful, and it filled her heart with happiness and relief. She made some tea and sat down at her desk and started some school work planning for the year ahead.

The clock struck 10 as Draco awoke with a jolt. He looked around the room, slightly disoriented as he awoke from his slumber. He saw Hermione at her desk, deep in thought and looking rather perplexed.

"Do you need me to look over that? Make sure it's all correct and present?" Draco made Hermione jump. A smile grew on her face.

"What?" She chuckled

"Well you seem to be having a hard time understanding that work" Draco stretched leaning back on the sofa.

"I think I may need my eyes testing actually, but thank you nonetheless." She smiled and sat back in her chair, looking lovingly at Draco.

"What were you sleeping on there for anyway?"

Draco looked at her and stood up, stretching again.

"Well I was awake pretty early, I had a shower and came to sit out here so I didn't disturb you." He walked over to where Hermione was sitting and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, bringing her head to rest on his torso. Hermione placed her hand on top of his.

"Oh good, thought I was maybe snoring."

"Well..."

Hermione laughed as she turned to slap him away. Draco bobbed forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. They lingered and stayed still for a moment before there was a knock at the door. Both jumped and looked towards the origin of the sound.

"I'll get it." Draco walked to and opened the door. There stood a postman who held a small white paper bag.

"Draco Mallyfuy?" The postman asked.

"Nice try." Draco took the bag off the man and watched him walk away.

He looked at the bag and saw it was from a pharmacist. Confused, he closed the door and walked over to the coffee table emptying its content. An envelope fell out as well as a small white box.

"What the?"

"Oh Draco, it's your medication." Hermione walked over and read the white box.

"Yeah, these are your anxiety meds." Hermione placed them down.

"Meds?" Draco looked confused.

"Yes, the muggle doctor who took care of you at St Mungo's said he would send some, to help you manage your anxiety."

Draco lifted the box and stared.

"I, Hermione I don't want these..."

"They'll help." Hermione rested a reassuring hand on Draco's back.

"What's in the envelope?"

Draco opened it and read the content, shocked and dumbfounded.

"It's to go see a fucking loony doctor." Draco stated throwing down the letter and leaning back rubbing his brow.

Hermione picked up the letter and read Draco's referral to a psychiatrist to help his condition with the use of therapy.

"Draco..."

"No, no Hermione, this is enough. I've had enough." Draco stood up and walked towards the door. Hermione followed cautiously, worried about what he would do next.

Draco's head hung as he stood with his hands resting on his hips. Hermione hesitated, wanting to give him space just to calm down a little.

"They'll make me talk, and, I'm not able to do that" Draco remained facing away from Hermione who's face grew with concern.

"I don't think I can. How can I talk to a muggle about this anyway?"

"Well I'm assuming they'll be understanding, of people like us, much like that doctor at St. Mungo's?" Hermione took a step towards him.

Draco shook his head. Exhausted and terrified.

"How will people look at me, Hermione? If this gets out, which it will. People hate me and The Daily Prophet would happily pay to get the fucking scoop." He could see it now:

'MALFOY'S MISHAP - BREAKING NEWS, DRACO MALFOY, FORMER DEATH EATER, SEEKS COUNSELLING'

He'd be made a fool of. His now quiet life would explode once more, just like before the press used to assemble outside his parents house, and when they used to follow to try and get a picture of the disgraced Death Eater.

"Draco, we don't have to make a decision right now, you can think about it..." Hermione placed her head on his shoulder and embraced him from behind. The touch was warm and calming, Draco's heart slowed a little as her mere presence calmed him.

"That's all I need. Just some time."

A few days had passed and Draco had put the letter in a draw to revisit when he was ready, although deep down Hermione knew that if she didn't intervene, it would remain in the draw forever. She had decided to leave it in the meantime, as she wanted Draco do make his own decisions.

They had both agreed to visit Harry and his family up north for a few days after Harry had kindly offered. Draco thought of it as an apology trip for ruining Hermione's Christmas and really, really didn't want to go. He was anxious about creating fights or awkward encounters with Harry seen as last time they spoke, Draco almost end up with a mouthful of his own teeth.

"Draco have you packed some jumpers? Apparently it's a lot colder up there" Hermione was busting herself walking room to room picking up random items: toothpaste, a scarf, a nail file and rain coat.

"Hermione, we're going to be travelling three hours in a northernly direction; we're not leaving the country and heading for Iceland." Draco smiled to himself as he buttoned up his coat.

"I know that, but I just don't want you getting cold or-"

"I'm not two" Draco looked at Hermione as she stopped and looked up at him apologetically.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry." She walked over and embraced Draco gently.

"I just worry because I love you too much."

Draco smiled and wrapped his arms around Hermione. He had never felt such a feeling in his whole entire life, and now he'd had a taste, he was addicted.

They finally left and headed for Cambridge's train station. They'd enjoyed using the train since going to London all those months ago and so they made the most out of it. Draco sat in the aisle seat and watched as Hermione glanced peacefully out of the window.

There were hours of beautiful grassy fields, farm houses, sheep and coastal views. It almost made Draco forget about his destination several times throughout their journey. Then came the time when their station was called out and they were forced to stumble up the aisle to find their luggage. Draco's heart began to pound. He just had a bad feeling about this weekends stay at the Potter's residence.

"Do we have everything?" Hermione looked up at Draco who nodded in reply. They stepped off the train and glanced up and down the busy platform. There was the smell of some fried food stand in the corner mixed with the fumes from the trains in and out of the station. It felt strange to Draco and reminded him all too much of catching The Hogwarts Express.

"Oh, there they are!" Hermione exclaimed and pointed towards a small looking Harry Potter in the distance. As they walked closer, he began to distinguish that he was stood with a happy looking Ginny Potter. He stood with his arm gently around her waist.

"Oh Harry, it's so wonderful to see you again!" Hermione embraced Harry tightly and bounced off to them greet and hold Ginny.

There was a moment of awkwardness as Draco stood tapping the handle of his suitcase with his index finger.

"Potter." Draco nodded in acknowledgment and threw in a polite smile.

"C'mon Draco, at least call me by my first name." Harry held out his hand to shake Draco's and smiled a warm, welcoming smile.