Disclaimer: I do not own Young Dracula. All rights reserved for BBC. This story is an AU from Season 3. What would have happened if Erin had reacted differently when Vlad bit her and turned her into a vampire.
Vlad sat in his room. The copper taste of blood still filled his mouth. How could she? Vlad watched as the dust played on a small beam of sunlight that had crept into his room through a crack in the draps that hid the room from the warming light that was deadly to him ever since he had turned sixteen. Vlad licked his lips. Sixteen. It had been so long ago, but really only a heartbeat in a vampire's life span. Vlad hated to remember the first time he had stepped into the mirror. They had been hiding and his father made special arrangements to procure not a castle, but an abandoned abbey. The bell had tolled and Vlad had hated what that meant for him. That had been the last time he had tasted human blood. That simple act haunted him. When he had come out of the mirror, his first taste of power had filled him up but the darkness had been different. The transition from child to vampire had burned with icey internal fire that took his warmth and his humanity. What replaced it was the need, the thirst and pain. Had his father not been close at hand, Vlad might had died or far worse, he might have lost himself to his dark desires and gone on the hunt. It had happened to many other vampires. They awoke from the mirror like starving monsters. With the power to overwhelm these desperate creatures would take to the night and fall like a plague on the humans leaving unknown victims in their path. The Count had provided enough power to stop Vlad and the bags of blood offered up saited him until Vlad could regain his sense of self. Unlike what Ingrid had experienced, Vlad had not met his shadow self in the mirror at that point in his life. Vlad shook his head. No that had come later. He shuddered. It had been much worse. As the chosen one, he had not one but thousands of reflections to battle for the tentative gripe on his soul.
Being dragged into the mirror had granted Vlad enhanced power and supplanted his soul with the overwhelming darkness. Vlad had wanted to drink blood and feed on fear. Only his family and their ties to the breathers had stopped him. Vlad closed his eyes. No, that's a lie. Something good inside Vlad had kept him from biting Erin back then. Not for the first time Vlad wondered what would have happened if he had bitten Erin back when his shadow self had controlled so many of his darker aspects. What if he made Erin a vampire before their alliance with the Slayers' Guild and all the changes they had fought so hard for. The school had been a battleground for the essence of Vlad's very being and in the end it took his standing up, accepting his fate, his power and all the darkness that was tied to it. With that surrender Vlad had been able to open the book, the Predictum Impaver, though its pages were blank. Vlad had proven his place as the Chosen One to the Vampire High Council, to Bertrand, his father, everyone, even himself.
He hated it. Hated the power and yet which ever way he turned, Vlad knew he needed that power. Only with the power granted by this job he hated, would Vlad be able to force the change he wanted in the world. Hell in two worlds. Sometimes, in the wee hours before dawn. Vlad secretly wondered what would happen if he simple stepped into the light? The one thing Vlad hated most about vampire society was how every single vampire he had ever met wanted to manipulate, scheme, lie, and do anything to gain more power. For so many years Vlad had fought to avoid that web only to be sucked in. This was even more so with his new found power and status. Everyone wanted to control Vlad for their own gain. Erin was the only one who had tried to stand by him. What had that gotten her? Even now, Vlad hated to admit it, a dark, secret place deep inside, wondered what would happen had he let her die? What if he had joined her? Still what good would it be to be a martyr and leave things unchanged? So much was different now.
Vlad snarled into the darkness. No! There is no turning back. Erin, what she had done, hurt, but was it any more than he deserved?
Still something deep inside Vlad had enjoyed the taste of the Lady's blood mixed with the sweet vampire scent of Erin. Even the memory made things inside Vlad clench with pleasure and pain. It had felt amazing and Vlad hated to admit it, but he had lost himself to the pleasure of sharing that blood soaked kiss with Erin.
The darkness stirred. Vlad thought back to the mirror and when his darker side had taken over. Back then, even with the darkness infecting him he had been unable to bite Erin despite the desire to. Vlad had done so many things he regretted but still his darkness had served a purpose. The whole experience had made him stronger and better able to deal with his vampire nature and by that token deal with other vampires. For the first time Vlad truly began to wonder about what the transition was like for half fangs. In the past Vlad had never really given it a second thought and merely assured that he would never do that to a breather, let alone to someone he care about. Still here he was, a sire, Vald, the Chosen One, was someone who had turned a breather, a slayer, into a vampire. This was worse than just drinking blood to survive. Vlad cursed himself. What did I expect?
Watching Erin drink blood and enjoy it, had crushed Vlad in ways he could not put into words and at the same time he was jealous. With the gem shards, it seemed that Erin didn't have a choice but to give into her vampire nature, while Vlad continued to fight. For the first time Vlad wondered what all his struggles had been for. Vlad began to pace his room. But with sun up there was no where he could escape to. Dark thoughts haunted him.
That night, that terrible night when Vlad had bitten Erin, it was because he could not picture his life without her by his side, helping him to unite the Slayers and vampires so they could coexist in peace. No. Vlad shook his head. I wanted her because she is the only one who loved me as I am. Realizing now that it had been naive to think that by simply saving her life, nothing would change, or that Erin could be like him as a vampire. But this Erin, the half fang who shared a blood soaked kiss, already she was so different. Vlad wanted to curse the gods both living and dead, since it seemed to him that Erin was taking to her new nature faster than any half fang Vlad had ever met. Maybe it was due to the months Erin had been pretending to be a half fang, getting to know the Dracula Clan up close and personal, or maybe it was something else, something Vlad or the gems had given her. Maybe it was Erin's connection to her brother who she had watched change as well into a half fang, only to perish. Maybe it was something worse. The fact that Erin seemed to be embracing her darkness frighten Vlad so much that he had to press his hand to his mouth to muffle a scream that was part anguish, part anger.
Vlad bit into his palm, his fangs drawing blood. It was at least something different to taste and seemed to wash away the memories of Erin, the Lady, and all the pleasure he had felt with blood drinking. All Vlad could think about was the mistakes he had made, the lies he had shared or ignore. Vlad could understand why Erin had lied to him, to pretend to be a half fang, to deny that she was a slayer, since it had all been to protect herself. Vlad only now could see that Erin's choices had been made in order to stay alive, that when Bertand discovered her, her lies had been her only cover, her cloak to hide herself. In hindsight it should have been obvious Erin was a slayer, how else could she had have hidden in plain sight like she had. The knowledge Erin had shared about the tools and weapons the slayers had at their disposal made Vlad better able to understand and no underestimate his enemy. The fact they could pretend to be half fangs, control their heart beats, and see vampire's heat signatures among the breathers was vital intel. Still the hurt was there. But Vlad had to admit his sin was greater, what he had taken from her, how he had ignored her wishes, how he had forced the change on her, the state he himself hated, was far more steeped in evil. Even now Vlad would given anything to be human and he had taken that from Erin. He deserved to have her hate him, but she said she still loved him.
How could she love me? The question echoed in his mind like a tormenting phantom.
After leaving Stoneybrook, despite the changes Vlad had experienced with the bone crown; his vampiric power manifested without a mirror, fangs fully formed, and all the powers that the Count wielded with ease, these dark changed had made Vlad doubt himself. He had been just a kid. Vlad had sacrificed everything for those he cared for, both human and vampire. Vlad had to leave them all behind and go into hiding with his father, the last person he wanted to be stuck with. Still, as much as he hated to admit it, Vlad had needed his dad. Being a minor, without money or resources beyond his new powers which Vlad had to admit he could not fully control, his father was at least there to help guide and control him to a point. Despite everything, the daily struggle to resist his father's wishes and vampire lessons had allowed Vlad to hold onto his humanity. Meeting with Erin, protecting her, teaching her, had been as if Vlad finally found someone who could see the real him and challenge him to be the better person. With Erin by his side, Vlad felt that he was actually able to change his story of being the vampires' Chosen One and be the person he wanted to be. More than once Vlad had felt that it was Erin who had rescued him and been able to show him the person he truly was. And yet, looking back, that seemed like a fairy tale. When push came to shove Vlad was beginning to realize he was just as selfish and greedy as any ambition soaked vampire of his clan.
Vlad pressed his hands to his head trying to block the swirl of thoughts that continued to race through his head as he sank to the floor.
I hate what I have become.
I feel like a monster.
I am a monster.
Blood bags in hand, Erin found Vlad lying on the floor. She could smell his blood and wondered if he was hurt. The door to Vlad's room had been left ajar which was so unlike him. Seeing Vlad alone, with his hands over his face as he lay prone on his back as if to hide his tears or from the horror she had inflicted on him. I did this. Erin thought. Still this was something Erin knew she had to do, to earn her place, to keep pushing the envelope. But then again seeing his pain, it was too much. In the dark of the hallway she blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Forcing her useless lungs to expand and contract she reached out for the door.
I'm sorry.
But Erin could not voice the words. Her heart ached for all she had lost and all he had lost in taking her one choice from her. There was nothing left but this pain that made what remained of love bitter sweet and desperate for something, some reminder of what could have been and a promise of what might be. The gem shards seemed to burn for an instant as Erin began to doubt herself, her choice, her path. Vlad had been in her world for only a short time, but his affect on her was profound and troubling.
"Vlad?" Erin asked stepping into the room.
He didn't answer and she drew closer. Erin sat, her back to the wall, and decided to wait. It didn't take long.
"Get out."
Erin forced herself to take a deep useless breath. "I don't know what you are expecting of me, Vlad."
Suddenly he was there kneeling before her, eyes red with anger as she stared down at him frozen under his gaze. "Why did you do that?"
Erin swallowed. She didn't have a good answer for him but said what first came to mind. "Is it everything you thought I would be?"
Vlad acted as if she had struck him and flinched. Erin pressed. "Because I feel like it is all falling apart in front of me. Every step that I take is leading me away from myself. I don't know how to stop it."
Vlad's eyes narrowed as his brow furrowed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I have become so tired fighting." Erin said. With a graceful motion she leaned against the wall, sitting back, she slid down to meet him on the floor and breaking his gaze. At least the red flame had died away in his eyes as she pressed her hands to her chest. The shards seemed to burn under her fingertips and she continued. "I am so much more aware, of what I am, what I have become. I'm not human." Erin raised her head to meet Vlad's eyes. "What I want from life has changed." Vlad looked away but Erin reached out and caressed his face. "But there is one thing I want that I wanted in my past life, my human life, the one thing I want now," Erin dropped her voice to a whisper forcing him to look at her. "And that is you. I want you Vlad."
"What does that even mean?" Vlad asked as he searched her face.
"Every second I waste is more than I can take," Erin said her words full of pain and need as she pulled him into her kiss.
At first Vlad resisted. The betrayal she had displayed in front of his family was still painful, but that resistance didn't stop her. Erin leaned in closure and finally Vlad opened for her taking her into his arms as she pressed into him. For a second Vlad was lost in her. Only the moment that they drifted into the sunbeam did he pull back with a hiss and pull her to the couch in his room. The blood packets she had brought with her fell to the floor discarded in their need for one another. Erin pressed into him, trying to drink him up. Vlad echoed her need with his own and as he held her in his arms it dawned on him that he no longer had to be so damn careful. Erin wasn't some fragile human any more, she was making that more than obvious as she grasped at him her nails digging into his back sending waves of pleasure through him as he responding in kind nipping at her neck and chin.
Erin suddenly tossed him, her new vampire strength taking him off guard as she smiled. Vlad landed hard on the ground one the packets of blood bursting underneath him. Erin was there suddenly above him smiling as blood splattered over both of them and she tore open his shirt. Her tongue was quick and brought a gasp from him as she proceeded to lick the blood from his white chest. It was his turn to spin her and it was as if she expected and rolled covering herself in blood. Her blood-slick hand reached out and traced a line down her cheek as Vlad's fangs extended and he snarled at her. All she could do was laugh and pull him closer tearing at her shirt and opening her chest to reveal the shards buried in her breast, splattered with blood, that Erin could swear were glowing. In response Vlad trapped her hands.
"Stop!" Vlad snarled. Using his body he pinned her and she let him.
"I want you Vald," Erin whispered. Desire a hot fire in her eyes as she wiggled under him. "I can feel you want me too."
"Not like this-" Vlad started to stay but Erin growled and cut him off.
"Yes. Just. Like. This." Erin said moving, forcing Vlad to grind into her and struggle to hold her as she offered up her neck. "I know you want this too. I wanted this when I was human but now there is nothing keeping us apart. expect-" But she didn't finish that sentence. They both knew, the only one stopping them, was him. Vlad looked at her, his prisoner, covered in blood, clothing torn face filled with need and desire. Erin searched his eyes. Her body screamed with need, to be claimed by him body and soul. He was her maker. He was the Chosen One. The realization hit her. That didn't mean he would choose her. Erin froze and sadness welled up in her again. She let it come, let the emotion fill her face and eyes. Never in her life had she seen or heard if vampires could cry, but the fight went out of her and she turned her head away.
Then the tears came, cold lines that froze her face.
"You don't want me as I am, you want what I was." Erin whispered and Vlad was off her as if she had struck him.
"It's not true! It just-" Vlad said on his feet backing away ignoring the blood and looking down at her. The blood seemed to call to him as much as his desire for her. Here she was, the creature he had created, the one who wanted him, no matter what had happened between them. Despite what he had done to her, what he was still doing to her. Seeing the sadness fill her face was almost too much for Vlad to bear.
Erin laughed. Bitter and hard as she drew up her clothes covering herself and licking the blood off her hand. The tears continued to silently stream down her face as she brought her knees to her chest. Vlad was back sitting on the couch staring at her and she didn't care. His face only showed hurt as she watched him out of the corner of her eye, sight blurry with the tears.
She should have known. I am a fool.
This should make things easier for her, with her choice, but it didn't. Right now she just hurt. I deserve this.
The vampire in her, wanted to lash out, to hurt him, but her sorrow would not allow it instead she turned that pain on herself and she knew she deserved it. Ever step Erin was taking was leading her down a path, one she had choose, that would freeze her insides in time, leaving her numb where pain and love would no longer touch her. If only I could be frozen now. She silently wished.
Swallowing, Erin fought with her own emotional turmoil, but the slayer in her was stronger. Her mission, her task, had to be fulfilled.
"Why did you change me, if you don't want me?" Erin asked. Forcing her head up she opened her eyes to stare at him with her hurt. Vlad's eyes were like a door to his pain, she could see each time she questioned him, each time she reach out to him, it hurt him as much as it did her.
"You know why," Vlad said turning away from her. He wanted her, but he couldn't let himself. Not like this. Not when all he wanted was to protect what little humanity she had left. Was there any humanity left in her? Did I burn it out?
Erin watched emotion play on Vlad's face. She wished she could read his mind, but her understanding of him was deeper than that. It was if she could see the battle he was fighting within himself. It echoed her own pain. They were both lost and so insecure. But they needed one another, they loved one another but still why was there still only this pain left between them. Vlad's rejection of her was really the rejection of himself, but even as her ration mind understood this, that didn't make the hurt inside lessen.
"What life do I have now?" Erin asked, pleading with her eyes, that he refused to look at. "Without you," she whispered.
Suddenly Erin was on her feet, moving as only a vampire could. She stood by the window where the single ray of sunlight shone into the room with specks of dust dancing in its pale light. Reaching out she caressed the light as her fingertips began to burn. The physical pain a welcome change. For a moment Erin knew she could do it, end it now, finally stop being such a coward. He didn't want the monster she had become, the monster her heart was filling with and crowding out any memory of her human existence. All her humanity that was locked inside was dying by seconds and inches. Before Erin's eyes the flesh was burning away. The pain was there but she no longer cared, it really didn't hurt her anymore. It was is her heartache that devoured and her body had made a devil's bargain to share the agony that was as sweet and love.
Erin hadn't notice but Vlad was beside her, then her hand sudden yanked away.
"What are you doing?" Vlad said. "Stop."
Erin dropped her gaze and saw the edge of the drapes. It would be so easy to tear them away, let the light in, envelope them both. The pain resurged filling her heart. Despite everything, she couldn't do that. She couldn't kill Vlad or harm him like that. Everything inside her wanted to protect him, keep him safe. She was the one who didn't matter anymore.
"Why?" she asked. "Why not just leave me to this." She indicated to the sunlight. "I won't be a burden anymore. I won't be a reminder of your little breather slip up. I could just be gone. Dust."
Vlad spun her and shook her forcing her away from the window. "No!"
"Why not?" Erin said and forced herself to look at him. "I'm a monster."
Vlad shook her. "Don't say that!"
"But it is true." Erin said with a sad smile.
Terror washed across Vlad's face as his fangs extended and his eyes went black. There was no fear in Erin's eyes and the tears stained her cheeks. Erin had watched Vlad's power first hand. There was no question that the Chosen One could kill or destroy with only his will and the powers he possessed. Erin felt as if she was saying everything that he felt deep inside. Her pain was something she wondered if he could taste as it echoed her agony. Erin remembered all the times that Vlad had promised to protect her. How he had sworn to do all in his power for her. Seeing him like this, Erin knew that Vlad wanted her to save from the dark, from the monster she was becoming. But they both knew it was too late for that. Erin knew she could not keep living a lie. Erin prayed that standing here before him, her actions now, might somehow make him realize how much he had loved the fantasy of it all. The idea that they could be together, a slayer and a vampire. Two people who wanted to make the world better place where no one could hurt them. It was a lie. And after what Vlad had done to her, left Erin's last hope frozen inside.
"What must be sacrificed to make you understand?" Erin asked.
"I don't understand," Vlad said.
Erin reached behind her back and pulled something that had been concealed along the line of her clothes, something long and thin. Holding out her hand she revealed the stake from her slayer's kit. "Take it."
"No." Vlad said as Erin knelt before him.
"I'm not strong enough." Erin said, a lie but she had to try and Vlad darted back from her.
"I am not doing that."
Watching Vlad cower from her. Erin reached down and at last, touched her anger that had been quiet and smoldering deep inside. The rage she felt when Vlad had ignored her choice. The idea that someone who professed to love her would dismiss her, reject her and ignore her wishes was suddenly too much to bear and she spat out venom at her sire.
"Then what do you want!" Erin screamed. "If I can't be with you, I can't love you, I can't protect you! I am just useless!"
Erin turned on him pitching the stake into the wood, propelled by her vampire strength and slayer aim. Even in her anger, Erin could not bring herself to harm him in deed but in word, her anger had a target it could hit. "I can't be what I was! And you know what? I don't want to be that girl. She was a fool." Then Erin made the mistake of looking at Vlad. Really seeing the damage her words were doing and anguish began to cloud her thoughts. Even beyond her anger, Erin could not bring herself to hate Vlad. What she really hated was herself. Her own weakness and self doubt. "But if I don't have a place. What's the point of an unlife? I can't hate you but I can't live like this."
Erin in her temper tantrum had inched closer to the window. The sun was up. God how she missed the feel of the light and warm spreading across her skin.
Vlad watched Erin. How could he fight her words? How much of this was because she really loved him or was it because he had changed her? He had heard of other vampire who had bitten humans only to have the half fang become obsessed with their maker. Those poor creatures becoming tools for their makers only to fulfill the pure blood vampire's darkest whims. Had he done that to Erin? Erin seemed desperate to prove her love for him. Vlad almost wished she hated him instead. If Erin had hated him would she have fought him to keep her sense of who she was? But he would never know. And this despite need and fatalistic creature was the worse creation. Vlad was so out of his depth. All those years of his father talking about all the times he had bitten a breather and made a half fang, yet none of those vamps were around. Vlad mind raced trying to remember the half fangs he had met. There were not many. Ingrid had bitten the boy she had a crush on. Only to see him turned to dust by the slayer attack at Stony Brook which was why Vlad guess she had taken the castle from the Count. She had nothing left to lose and everything to gain then. Vlad remembered how Ingrid had converted a whole girls sports team that had been foot soldiers that were merely kill Vlad. Ingrid had not cared a lick about her half fangs, using them only as cannon fodder for her ambition. Then there was Ryan who started out serving Ingrid only to turn on her for Malik. Then there were the orphan vampires that Vlad had tried to teach how to live normal lives. That experiment had failed spectacularly. Vlad himself had dispatched several of those pathetic creatures. Vlad knew couldn't do that to Erin and yet, he could't let his guard drop around her, couldn't trust her. How could he love someone he didn't trust? Still the memories of their shared history, reminded him that she had lied to him before, when she was human. Now it was like all Erin could say was the truth, there was no way she could hide it from him, her sire . In a way, Vlad hated it. It was like he had taken Erin's free will. Which was far worse than just turning her into a vampire.
"Erin, I don't know what to tell you!" Vlad yelled back. "I'm sorry but I just don't know."
Erin stood. If she had a working heart, she knew it would be breaking. The darkness seemed to swirl inward as what remained inside her grew cold, death and silent. Her tears were gone. Her burn hand no longer had any feeling but it wasn't healing. She needed blood. One last bag lay on the floor discarded but she refused to look at it. The blood still stained her skin and clothes along with Vlad's but it was drying and becoming hard and sticky. Erin felt her eyes grow dark. Her fangs were out but she refused to snarl or hiss. Instead she looked away eyes catching the charred remains of her hand.
"I understand." Erin whisphered. "Its ok."
"No, its not," Vlad insisted kicking aside the stake. He pressed his finger tips together looking as if he was about to pray.
Erin stepped back. It would be funny but vampires don't pray they prey. A smile threatened to tug at her lip but she moved back, closer to the window her good hand fingering the drapes. She could end it now. Vlad was far enough away. One tug, it could be over. She was suddenly shaking. But she had to ask.
"What would you do?" she asked. "If I ended it?"
"What?" Vlad asked finally looking up at her. The shock that she had moved back towards the window had him on his feet but she held up her burned hand to stop his actions but not his words. "Don't talk like that. You just need time."
"For what? To become more of a monster?" Erin asked.
Vlad looked at her. "I can help you..'
"How? How can you help me when you can't even help yourself?" Erin said. "You can't even stand to be near me."
"I know what you are going through."
Erin did laugh then. It was bitter and hard. "Yeah one morning you woke up a monster. Yeah right. You have had your whole life to adjust. To prepare. You took that from me."
"I did. I'm sorry."
Erin looked at him and shook her head. "I know. That's what hurts the most. More than the light. More than the thirst."
"Erin..."
"Vlad." Erin whispered.
"Please give me a chance to help you."
Erin felt the tears again. Vlad wasn't crying but she couldn't stop herself. Maybe it was because she had started out as human. Maybe her tears were the only part of her that was still human. "What would you do if I could swap our places?" Erin swallowed. It was hard to talk past all the pain that threatened to steal her words.
"That can't happen"
Erin shook her head. "I know that. but what if?"
"I think we would be in this exact same situation with you begging me to stop, to listen, for just a moment more. There has to be away to get through this."
"What if there isn't?"
Vlad's voice changed. "All I can tell you, if you pull open that curtain, then we will never know. Once you do that, once you step out into the sun, that's it. Game over. No more second chances. I don't want that for you. I don't think you want that either."
Erin played with the curtain. Part of her wanted to run to him. To hear him. Part of her wanted to end things. Part of her wanted to attack. Part of her wanted freeze and surrender to her darker nature. It was too much. How could she share the darkness inside?
"Vlad you used to captivate me, did you know that? I wanted to make the world you spoke of a reality." Erin said and turned her eyes to the stake on the ground and frowned. "I spent my life being trained to kill vampires, to hurt those that would prey on others. But even then when I was human, I couldn't bring self to kill. The one vampire who died because of me was an accident. I hated the act of killing." Erin looked at Vlad. "Now it is all I think about."
"But you can control yourself-"
"Part of me doesn't want to."
"I can help you -"
"What if you can't?" Erin turned on him. "What if that part of me that is holding right now, finally slips away? I can feel it. I can't drink soy blood. It will kill me. You saw that. In time, or hell circumstance, what happens when I bite someone? When I finally kill someone?"
"I won't let that happen-"
Erin laughed. "You couldn't stop yourself from biting me, what makes you think you can stop me without killing me?"
"I am the Chosen One. I am your maker. You have to listen to me." Vlad said.
Erin shook her head. "We'd just be right back here. Either with sun or stake or a sword in your hand or heck, merely your Chosen One power, that you would have to wield to smite me from the earth."
"Erin stop it!"
"Why Vlad? I am just telling the truth!"
"You need to fight it! Fight the darkness!"
Erin started at him. "What for?"
"What do you mean? For your friends, for your ideals. I need you to help me create a better world."
"Now I am bound by the life I left behind," Erin said resign. "Who would have thought my greatest competition for love was myself?"
"What are you talking about?" Vlad asked, confused again. It was clear he was having trouble keeping up with all the mood swings.
"Its funny." Erin said forcing a giggle changing the subject again.
"What is?"
"These wounds won't seem to heal," Erin said looking at the gem shards and tracing them with her fingers. "But the pain they create inside is nothing compared to what I feel for you. This pain," Erin indicated to her heart and the space between them. "It is just to real. There is just too much that time cannot erase."
"Please try," Vlad pleaded.
"Rescue me," Erin said. "In that you show who I am."
"You're not making sense."
"I know." Erin said holding her head. "It is all mixed up. Duty. Blood. Need. Love. I don't know how to sort it out."
"You are still transitioning. I know it is hard. But I am here." Vlad was by Erin's side his hand reaching out for her. "I can help you."
"But can you love me?" Erin whispered. "Can you love a monster?"
"You did."
Erin shook her head. "That was different. I was different."
"I know."
"Is it too late for us?" Erin asked. Part of her wanted him to say yes. The other prayed he would say no.
"I can't say. This is new for me too." Vlad said his hand still outstretched. "All we can do is try. Keep fighting. As long as there is another day, another night where we survive, we have a chance."
Erin looked at his outstretched hand. "Fight for me, if it is not too late, because this can't be how our story ends." She took his hand.
Vlad pulled Erin into his arms. She was hard, cold, and tense. He wrapped his arms around her until in time she stopped resisting and relaxed into his grasp.
"We are in this together." Vlad said. His mind was racing. Every time Erin spoke to him it was like an arrow to his heart. He wanted to help her but he did not know how. She was suffering and this new found death wish was terrifying how Erin could simply try to toss her life away. Vlad hated to admit it but he should not have been surprised. Erin had asked him to let her go, let her die as a human and he had taken that choice from her. The suicidal thoughts seemed to be left over from her need to remain human. He should have expected it. Hell, he was surprised she had lasted this long. Still, Vlad hated to admit it, but until he had rejected her as the vampire she was now, those thoughts and acts had not been pressing in around him as they were now. Was this just a show? Some dark way for Erin to punish him? Not that he didn't deserve it, but still. Worse, despite his actions, his rejections of her advances, Vlad had to admit. He wanted her. He wanted her like this as much as he had wanted her as a human. There had been several moments in the past, when Vlad had thought that Erin was a half fang where he had dreamed of being her knight in black armor saving her and making Erin his in every way a teen boy could imagine.
"Would you want to feel how it feels. Would you want to know that it doesn't hurt me. Would you want to hear about my darkness and all?"
"Yes." Vlad said. But even as the words came out of his mouth, it was a lie. Vlad hated to see her in pain. Hated how Erin used those confused mixed up words as a weapon, where she wore her love and sorrow as armor to hurt him as much as his own thoughts punished him. Quickly he changed tactics. "I am sorry I bit you."If I could take it back I would, but-"
Erin leaned up to kiss him, to stop his words, and the moment her lips brushed his, Vlad pulled back. Vlad watched the darkness cloud her face and all hope fade. His smallest actions caused the greatest rifts between them. The sorrow was back. The guilt filled him as she pulled away from him. This creature was so different, and though it was still Erin, still holding his hand, it wasn't her. And yet, he could not let her go. Though she was still with him he felt alone. Erin seemed to sense it. As if she could hear his thoughts, and read his emotions. Then punish him with his heart.
"Vlad, I can take it back, right here, right now. I could step into the light and we could be done with this. You don't even have to do anything. Just let me go."
"No!" Vlad felt the words burst from his lips. Hell it would be easier if he could just let her go. Let her do what she felt she needed to do.
Then the tears came. Vlad watched Erin's face crumple. Her eyes were on him. This time they were black. The gems began to burn again. "How can you say that when I disgust you?"
"You don't!" Vlad said. "I love you!"
"I don't believe you." Erin said and turned towards the window. Vlad had her in an instant throw against the wall. This time Erin did snarl at him, but Vlad stood over her the stake had magically appeared in his hand and he held it about a foot from her heart. Erin push back from the wall and stepped closer, forcing him to press the point of the wood to her chest.
"Do it. I'd rather be dead than alone and undead."
"You can't mean that." Vlad whispered unmoving.
The blackness faded from her eyes. Erin reached up to touch his face with her marred hand dragging the soot across his face. "Don't ask me to live without you. I have no reason to live. I will find a way out, one way or another. "
"I don't want that."
"What do you want?" Erin snarled. "It isn't me. Not like this."
Vlad watched her turn from him. Her disgust with herself written all over her face. Vlad looked down at her and the stake held in his hand. All the attempts he had made to snap her out of it were reminiscent of all the times his father had tried to make him heed the Count's demands. All those times Bertrand had tried to force Vlad to accept his darker self. All those times Vlad had felt backed into a corner, it was what he was doing now to Erin. No wonder she was willing to throw her life away. The realization made Vlad freeze and rethink. Have I really become just like my father? Looking at Erin, Vlad searched his heart. When Vlad had thought she was a half fang he had loved her, when he learned she was a slayer and seen what she had sacrificed for him, he had loved her more. Now that she was a vampire, did he really love her less? Now that the truth of her existence was what he thought it was when they first met came to pass, had things really changed that much? Erin's state of being was his fault. It was clear that even she threw her words like daggers at him, he was the one hurting her with his rejection of her for becoming the very thing that he had forced upon her.
Vlad tossed away the stake. "I want you to live. I want you to take care of yourself." Then the bag of blood seemed appear in his hand. "Now drink."
Vlad watched as Erin's hunger surge and her eyes flashed black but she pulled back and shook her head. "No."
"You need it. If you don't feed the damage to your hand could become permanent."
"It doesn't matter." Erin said staring Vlad down. "I see the way you look at me when I drink. I remember the way you looked when I tried to share something like that with you."
"I'm different than you! I can live off soy blood, you can't."
Erin shook her head. "Vlad, we are going around in circles. I told you it doesn't matter."
"But it does!" Vlad shook her. Then he bowed lowering his head to her chest.
Erin realized he was crying. Gently she reached out and cradled his head her chest as they both sunk to the ground. She sat there holding him let him hold her. The darkness tugged at both of them. With care and calm, Erin began to stroke her fingers through Vlad's dark hair. She had seen picture, portraits painted from his youth and knew that his dark locks had once been lighter, closer to brown, but she wondered if they had ever been as soft as they were now. The minutes ticked by. She continued to hold him. Finally Vlad moved. The blood was still in his hand. He pulled back and looked up at her holding it closer and to her as an offering. Erin just shook her head.
There was a flash of anger. Vlad quickly raised the bag to his lips, fang barred, and drank. Erin's eyes went wide as he took in the blood his eyes never leaving hers as she watched him drink. Then his lips were on her as his tongue forced open her mouth. Erin's eyes went wide but she welcomed him. Vlad broke the kiss long enough to offer the blood to Erin and together they shared it. She lapped at the drops that covered his chin as he continued to kiss her, no longer fight her advances as he moved her far from the windows light and began to take her as his conquest and she welcomed him.