August 2000
Unfortunately for Mac, Stella and Lindsey everything seemed to start at the beginning again. Lindsey was again haunted by nightmares. Her earlier fears and trust issues were all back full blown. It was just like right after their parents died. The trauma was back.
Stella was worried about her sister and knew that she would need a lot of love and help during the next time. Everything she had managed to accomplish, like meeting with Danny, working with Aiden were all things that suddenly seemed so far away again.
At the moment Lindsey was at home with Stella trying to understand what had happened and that everything is alright. They were back at step one in Lindsey´s recovery.
After putting Flora down for the night Stella came back to the living-room to find Mac and Lindsey sitting there together. Lindsey looked deep in thoughts with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms around them. Mac sat next to her watching her. She wanted to know what is going on but on the other hand she knew that she could stop the process of Lindsey talking if she interrupted.
When she was about to turn around and leave she heard her husband talking. "Lindsey" she saw how Lindsey looked up at Mac was anxious to find out how Lindsey would react.
"Lindsey, how are you feeling?" Lindsey sighed deeply causing Mac to look at her intently. Her voice was thin when she spoke. "It feels like I was thrown back three years when you arrested him Mac." She looked at him needing him to understand and was relieved to see him nod. "You know all the fears, the worries and all the nightmares are back. Everything I accomplished in the past three years was just stolen away from me."
Lindsey looked back out the window. "Lindsey you are not alone. Stella and I are here to help you in any way you need us to. It was not taken from you permanently Lindsey. It was only taken from you temporarily. You will get it back." He smiled lightly at Lindsey. He knew that the feelings she was having were warranted and normal.
When she looked at him he noted that she looked afraid. "Lindsey you are going to have to trust yourself and us and let us help you." She nodded before speaking. "I just do not like that feeling of having to go through all that again." Mac placed a hand on her shoulder effectively pulling her to him. Lindsey was resting against Mac´s chest trying to forget. After a minute he gently kissed her head "why don't you try to get some rest?" she nodded against his chest before extracting herself from his arms. Before leaving the Living-room she turned around and smiled at him gratefully. "Go Lindsey we will be here."
Stella had retreated to the kitchen, when Lindsey started to leave the living-room because she did not want them to know she heard it. A minute later she felt Mac´s arms around her. "You could have joined us. You did not have to watch from the doorway." She knew that he had seen her. "I did not want to stop her from talking and opening up to you." She turned around in his arms and looked at him.
"We both know that she is back to square one and everything we do right now is crucial. She trusts you and is willing to talk to you. If she is opening up we should not stop her." He understood what she is saying and knows that she is doing what she thinks is best for Lindsey." Mac knows that Lindsey might have said less if Stella had been in the room.
"Let us just hope that Lindsey finds a better way of healing this time around and that she will be the happy girl, she was once, again soon." Stella nodded against his chest hoping that it will be true one day in the near future.