(Jon)
Jon found that once he'd made up his mind about his course that it was shockingly easy to set his plan into action. He was once again in his room and had packed what little he had. His most prized possessions were his harp, his sword that Robb had gotten forged for him for his name day, and lastly a coat that Arya had made for him. Arya hated stitching but she had informed him that she'd spent the last year working on it slowly to make sure it was just right for him. Jon was touched and had set to make a gift for her. He pulled out the small sword that he had made and was keeping as a gift for when he left for the Night's Watch. Now was as good of a time to give it to her.
A sudden knocking interrupted his thoughts.
"Jon let me in!" a voice called from being his door. Jon smiled as he opened the door and was faced with the very person he'd been thinking about.
"Hello little sister." Jon said warmly as he ruffled Arya's brown hair. Nymeria ran in behind her owner and started playing with Ghost. Of the Direwolf pups, these two were the closest to one another. Arya's smile vanished when she noticed his belongings were packed.
"Where are you going?" She asked both curiously and suspiciously.
"I'm going on a quest Arya. To find my mother." Jon stated in a low tone.
"Oh a quest! Can I come with you?! I've been teaching Nymeria to fetch. I'm sure she could help find your mother." Arya said with a cheerful smile, already thinking of the adventures they could get into.
"I'm sorry Arya but this is something I must do by myself. Also, I'm quite sure Lord and Lady Stark would be opposed to you coming with me across the country just to look for my mother." Jon stated. Opposed was an understatement in his opinion. Lady Stark looked at Jon as if he was a demon from the seven hells just waiting for an opportunity to hurt his siblings, never mind that he'd give his own life for any of them without hesitation.
"You can't go alone Jon what if something were to happen to you?! Also, you can't leave me. Without you I'll have no one to play with." Arya said hotly, her voice beginning to rise.
Arya was Jon's favorite sibling and the feeling was definitely mutual. It was cemented from an early age when Arya noticed that unlike her other siblings, she was the only one to inherit the Stark coloring of dark brown hair and grey eyes. All of her other siblings looked like Tullys. It got to a point that at the age of five Arya asked if she too was a bastard, a word she didn't understand, like Jon since they looked alike. Lady Stark had of course blamed Jon for this and Ned had to explain to the young girl not only that she was a true born Stark but what that made Jon as a bastard. Arya, once realizing what some of the servants, Lady Stark and even Sansa on occasion were calling Jon, she had proudly and loudly proclaimed that he was her brother and that was all there was to it.
'Since that day we've been thick as thieves.' Jon said as he felt his heart grow heavy at what he had to do. Leaving his other siblings would hurt but it was Arya that he would miss the most.
"I'm sorry little wolf but this is something I have to do. But I do have something for you." Jon said as he pulled out the sword and handed it to Arya. Her grey eyes that once held fury immediately glowed with joy and delight as she pulled the small think blade out of its scabbard.
"This is mine!" She whispered excitedly, knowing what would happen if someone were to hear her and inform her mother.
"Yes, it is. I was going to give it to you when I left for the Night's Watch but now is a better time." Jon said with a smile. Arya practically leapt into his arms and Jon held her tightly. She began to shake a little and he knew that she was shedding tears in both happiness and sadness.
"If you tell anyone I was crying I'll use this sword on you." She sniffled once he let her go.
"I expect no less. By the way they say every great sword has a name. You should name yours." Jon said encouragingly. Interacting with Arya had all but extinguished the burning anger that was flooding his veins a moment ago.
"Sansa has her needles and now I have mine." Arya said still wide eyed and excited for her gift.
"You'll never cut a man's head off, but you can poke him full of holes if you're quick enough." Jon said, finding the name oddly appropriate.
"I can be quick!" She replied happily. Soon however, she seemed to remember what Jon had told her and her temper returned.
"Don't think this makes up for you wanting to leave me Jon." She said, her wolf blood showing itself.
"I love you Arya. I love all of my sibling. However, I must know who my mother is. I don't even know if she still lives. There is a whole half of my family that I don't know, and father refuses to tell me. Please understand." Jon asked as he knelt to Arya's level. The young she-wolf scowled but slowly nodded.
"I do. I just don't want to you to leave me forever and forget about me." Arya said, her eyes beginning to well up again.
"I could never forget you Arya and I promise to write when I can. I'll figure out a way to get letters to you." Jon said as he wrapped her in a hug.
"It's going to be terrible here without you Jon. Robb is spending less time with us as father and mother groom him to be the future warden. Bran will probably go to squire for mother's family since all he talks about is being a knight one day, Rickon is still a babe and Sansa is still an idiot." Arya said sadly. Jon released her and let out a sigh.
"Mother keeps talking about making me a proper lady so I can find a husband. I don't want to be a lady Jon! I won't sit around a circle talking about stupid things and babies all day." Arya declared as she continued to vent her frustrations.
"Arya, I promise that I will never forget nor abandon you. As long as I am alive, I won't let you be sold off to some lord to be a lady." Jon promised. He had no idea how he would keep such a promise but knew his words were the right ones as Arya's face broke into a bright smile.
"Really? You promise!" Arya said happily.
"I promise little sister. Even if I have to kidnap you myself to keep that from happening." Jon said with a smile.
Thank you Jon. I'm still not happy you have to leave so soon but I can understand why." Arya muttered as she looked to their wolves that had stopped playing and were looking at their masters.
"Go on Arya. I'm sure the septa is looking for you and please don't tell anyone. I want to explain it to them myself." Jon said with a smile that grew when he saw Arya scowl at the thought of the septa that continually compared her to Sansa. She called for Nymeria and left after giving Jon one last hug.
"Well that was probably the hardest goodbye I'll have boy. Come on let's let everyone else know." Jon said. Ghost, who had been looking at the door that his packmate had left through, walked to his owner's side without a sound. Jon stopped short of leaving and knelt by Ghost's side.
"I'm sorry boy. I've only been thinking of myself. I'll be asking you to leave your siblings behind as well. Would you like to stay with them instead?" Jon said lowly. Some would think him insane for conversing with a wolf as if it could understand him buy direwolves were legendary for their intelligence and Ghost even more so in Jon's opinion. He was proven right when Ghost tilted his head to the side as if to ask if Jon was serious in his request.
"Guess that's my answer. Two lone wolves out in the big world alone searching for answers and adventure. Sounds like one of Sansa's stories." Jon chuckled as he and Ghost excited the room.
(Ned)
Eddard Stark was seated in the Godswood cleaning the Stark ancestral great sword Ice. The Valyrian steel blade truly never needed cleaning, such was the properties of the ancient and valuable metal it was forged from, but Ned did it more out of habit when he needed to think then anything else.
His thoughts were on Jon and their previous conversation, or argument more like. He hated lying to the young man but even to this day, thoughts about his sister sent a dagger through his heart. He could barely mutter Lyanna's name without wanting to break down in grief, much less explain her identity as Jon's mother. He knew he would tell Jon one day, but he simply didn't have the strength, or even the courage, to do so at this time.
'Once he join's the Night's Watch. I'll tell him after he's said his vows.' Ned thought to himself. It was truly for the best and he was pleased that Jon had made the offer himself. Benjen would look after the boy and Jon would be a more than worthy addition to the ancient order, despite the current state of it. It would also keep him from any potential threats should the wrong people learn Jon's heritage.
'Robert would not be able to lay a finger on him. He would be renouncing any claim to the throne and be outside of Robert's command.' Ned thought as he finished cleaning the great sword and looked at one of the faces in the weirwood.
"But is that the right course? Jon would be renouncing being ever able to hold land, have a wife or sire children." Ned spoke along to the face, hoping for direction from the Old God's.
Ned had battled these thoughts ever since Jon informed him that he was thinking of joining the Night's Watch. Jon believed himself to be a bastard and a stain on Ned's honor. His wife did nothing but reinforce these thoughts and for that Ned would always hold a bit of resentment for the wife he had come to love and have five children by. Ned had a few times thought about fostering Jon to another Northern house or even giving him a bag of gold and letting him possibly go to Essos to explore and decide what he really wanted. However, in the end he believed that Jon would be safer joining Benjen and being away from any potential dangers. He'd always be able to visit the lad and have him visit Winterfell with Benjen. He would watch over Jon as long as he was able.
'Promise me Ned. Promise me.'
"Ned?"
He looked up and saw his wife, lady Catelyn Stark stood before him, much to his confusion. Cat was from the Riverlands and thus followed the faith of the seven. She rarely came into the Godswood unless there was something wrong. She found the faces on the wirewoods to be…unsettling.
"My lady, how may I help you?" Ned asked. Cat smiled, despite the news she had. Many would raise their eyebrows at such a formal question between husband and wife, but she knew that under Ned's seemingly icy demeanor lay a kind and loving man.
"Ned I'm afraid I received a raven." She said as she came to stand before him.
'Dark words. Dark wings." Ned thought to himself as he steeled his mind for whatever troubling news she bore.
"My love, Jon Arryn has died." Cat said sadly knowing how much this would hurt Ned to hear. Ned's grey eyes widened in disbelief before grief took over him.
"H-how?" Ned asked. Last, he'd been aware Jon was healthy as an ox, even at his age.
"They say a fever took him. The King is on the way to Winterfell. He will be here in a few months' time." Cat replied as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew that Lord Arryn was like a father to Ned and he was a brother-in-law to Cat herself as he had wed her sister Lysa though she would admit she barely knew the man.
"Thank you for telling me. It also appears we have preparations to make." Ned said forcing his mind away from the painful thought of the death of the man that was a father to him and instead focusing on the soon arrival of the man that was his brother in all but blood. He would mourn Jon Arryn in solitude at a later time.
"I agree. He will be coming with the royal family, kingsguard, and possibly half the court." Cat said, already thinking of the housing and food they would have to allocate for all of the soon to be new arrivals.
"He would." Ned said somewhat fondly. Cat sensed he needed time to process everything she had told him and moved to leave before stopping short. She turned to address him again though her tone became cold and detached though also a bit triumphant.
"Also, apparently the boy is looking to leave Winterfell in the morning." She said shortly.
"What?!" Ned exclaimed as he jumped to his feet in surprise. He knew exactly who she was referring to. She never called Jon by name. Only referring to him as "the boy". It was the compromise they both had bitterly accepted as Ned would not allow her to call him bastard nor could ne force her to acknowledge him by name.
"I overheard him speaking with the children. I assume he is joining the Night's Watch sooner than we thought." Cat explained, fighting to keep a smile from her face. Ned's face darkened knowing that she was overjoyed at Jon leaving. For the past few years she had all but begged Ned to get rid of him, either by fostering him somewhere else or sending him to the Wall to join Benjen.
"I see. I will speak to him later." Ned said in an emotionless tone. He would not discuss Jon with Cat. They'd had enough arguments about him to last a lifetime. He sat back down and turned to look at the faces in the weirwood. Understanding the dismissal for what it was she left him there to create preparations.
Though the passing of Jon Arryn was unfortunate the news of the bastard leaving Winterfell and the coming of the King, and more importantly the unwed price, was very good news in Catelyn Stark's mind.
'Jon wants to leave now? All things considered it's for the best. I don't want to take the chance that Robert or someone else get suspicious.' Ned thought to himself. Though everyone said that Jon resembled him, in truth every year Ned began to see more of his father in Jon with the coloring of Lyanna. Whereas Ned and his male children were stockier of build, Jon was lithe like his father and would be just as tall if Jon's growth spurt over the past year was anything to go by. If Jon's existence were to be made public before he took the black both Jon and Ned's lives would be forfeit, to say nothing of the Stark family as a whole. Ned was still haunted at night at the fates of Princess Elia and her children.
'I won't allow that to happen again. If Jon has made up his mind to leave, I will support it, but I need to try and talk to him again. I don't want us parting on such turbulent terms.' Ned thought to himself. He gave a sigh as he felt the winds of change coming and he didn't know if it would be for good or bad for House Stark.
(Jon)
Jon was back in his room preparing himself for a good night's sleep before setting off in the morning. He'd told everyone he intended to that he was leaving in the morning and while all were sad most were understanding. Though that was probably because Jon hid his true intentions from everyone but Arya. The truth was that he did intend to visit the Wall first if for no other reason then to tell his Uncle Benjen that he would not be joining as soon as he first thought. He also wanted to see if his Uncle Benjen could give him any leads as to where to start looking for his mother.
"Jon may I come in?"
Jon was interrupted from his thoughts as he heard his father's voice. He felt the heat of anger again begin to rise within him but did his best to subdue them before rising and opening the door. Ned walked through and they stood face to face, neither saying anything for a long moment.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't come talk to you sooner. There are many affairs that I had to see to." Ned stated.
"So, I've heard. The King is coming to Winterfell in a few months. Thankfully your bastard will not be here at that point to caste more shame upon you Lord Stark." Jon said, trying and failing to keep a civil tone. He saw Ned wince at the words but didn't allow pity to worm its way into his heart.
"Jon, I do not want us to leave on bad terms. Though you do not have my name you have my blood. I am sorry that I am not yet ready to tell you the truth but know that the next time we meet, after you've taken the black, we will have that conversation." Ned promised, hoping this would alleviate Jon's anger.
'If only I could believe that.' Jon thought to himself though he didn't voice it. Ned might be fine with Jon joining the Night's Watch early but if he knew that Jon was really going to search for his mother instead then there was a fair chance that he would try and stop Jon and the young man wouldn't take that chance.
"Very well." Is all that Jon said. Ned seemed surprised, sure that Jon would be more excited at finally having a timeframe for when he would learn of his mother's identity but didn't think to much into it, not wanting Jon to grow impatient and try and force the issue sooner.
"I can have guards accompany you if you'd like." Ned stated, not wanting Jon to be attacked on the road. The North didn't have a lot of problems with bandits but the North was also the same size as the other six kingdoms so there was no telling what dangers lurked on the road that was never reported. The wildlings specifically were getting through more frequently with the passing months for some reason.
"No thank you. I can take care of myself and I'll have Ghost with me." Jon responded. The last thing he wanted was anyone around who could potentially find out what he'd planned and inform his father. He trusted his uncle Benjen to keep silent about it and Arya wouldn't be telling anyone either. Seeing that Jon was not in a talkative mood, but also being thankful that the young man seemed to have calmed down from their last conversation, Ned decided to take his leave.
"Good night Jon. I will see you off in the morning." Ned stated as he closed Jon's door. Jon watched him go without further comment and let out a sigh once the door closed. His anger began to lessen the minute his father left his presence and Jon began to wonder if he'd ever again be able to look his father in the eye and not feel that anger, disappointment, and frustration well up in him.
'When I know my mother's name, when I know the whole story of my birth. Then I may be able to bury these feelings.' Jon thought to himself as eh crawled in bed.
Ghost looked towards the door and Jon was only slightly surprised to see it open and Arya sneak in in her small cloths. She wordlessly moved to get in bed with him and he allowed it, wrapping her in his arms. This would be the last time she'd be able to come to him at night looking for comfort after something upset her and he would miss it as well. They fell to sleep in each other's arms. Before sleep took him, Jon saw Nymeria curl up beside Ghost.
The next morning saw Jon preparing his horse for the journey. A few people were waiting for him at the gate. He recognized ser Rodrick, Jory Cassel, Old Nan, his father and most of his siblings save Sansa. He was slightly disappointed at that, but Sansa had always been the most formal of his siblings with him. He was sure it was due to the septa and Lady Stark's influence. Sansa used to love him as Arya did until she learned what bastard meant and was groomed to be a proper lady by her mother who shouldn't associate with one like him.
Despite that Jon was happy for the few that would miss him and received a hug from Rickon first, who didn't seem to fully understand that Jon was leaving and wouldn't be back for a while but was happy to receive his favorite toy back after letting Jon borrow it for his name day. Bran was next and he sadly told Jon to visit a lot and to have a ton of great stories like Uncle Benjen. Jon stopped in front of Robb and looked at the heir of Winterfell and his best friend.
"The next time I see you you'll be wearing black." Robb said with a smirk.
"Aye you always told me it was my best color." Jon snipped back with an equal smirk. They embraced and bid a fond farewell. As soon as he released Robb, Arya was in his arms.
"Don't forget your promise." She said tearfully.
"Never little sister." Jon affirmed. After a few more goodbyes he was face to face with Ned Stark. The Lord of Winterfell pulled Jon into a tight hug that was slowly, if unenthusiastically, returned from Jon.
"I promise you Jon. I will tell you the next time we meet once you've said you're vows." Ned whispered and released him. Jon simply gave a nod before climbing on his horse and leaving the only home he knew. A small part of him wondered if he was making the right decision but his path was set, and he refused to turn back now.
'My way is forward. To look back is to be lost.' Jon thought to himself and true to his word he didn't look back as he and Ghost moved down the King's road to Castle Black and the wall.