Savior

Chapter 78

-xx-

"D," Cate called from the top of the stairs. She grinned at Jackie as her sister stood in the doorway of her bedroom.

After a trying week where she not only never felt pretty, but ultimately felt sick for most of the week, trying on gowns at her sister's house was just what the doctor ordered. She had her first glass of wine since her trip to Clooney's and was able to relax with her sister, brother-in-law and niece for the night.

"Wow," Derek started as he began to ascend the staircase. "Look at you."

She could not help the grin crossing her face as he made his way up the stairs towards her. "Is this enough for Desi's wedding?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely," he answered. "I will have the prettiest lady on my arm."

"Desiree will be the prettiest in the room," she corrected. "It is her day."

Derek shrugged. "She'll always be my goofy little sister." The two women at the top of the stairs laughed. Derek stepped in front of Cate and took her hand in his.

She laughed as he twirled her in the hallway. "I loved the blush one, but this is screaming for me," she said as she ran her hands over the skirt of the gown. The midnight blue bodice fit her perfectly, though Cate would admit she was less endowed than her older sister. But it was the floral skirt that she adored.

"And you're taking the purple one for the dress rehearsal, right?" Jackie asked from the doorway.

Cate nodded, "Jackie has so much in her closet that half of that stuff still has the tags on."

Her sister shrugged. "It's usually your fault," she said with a laugh. "You and Madison love to go shopping all the time!"

"That's the understatement of the century," Derek added.

Cate jokingly rolled her eyes. "Just be glad she doesn't need to go shoe shopping," Jackie said with a wink. "But those are good choices, Cate. They'll both pack and travel easily, too."

"That's what I'm hoping for," Cate replied. "Thank you again, Jacks."

Her sister smiled and nodded. "I'd rather them get used instead of sitting in my closet."

-xx-

Cate pulled the pillow closer to her chest as she sat on the bed and watched Derek pack. He was getting his suitcase ready for the weekend as well as his go-bag. She cringed whenever the go-bag came in the apartment. It was a welcome sight because it meant he was home from a case, but watching him re-pack made her realize that he was planning to back in the field.

"What's that look for?" Derek asked as he turned back from his dresser. He stuffed a few more pieces into his go-bag before zipping it up and tossing it to the floor. He meticulously packed the rest of his suitcase for the weekend.

She shrugged, not wanting to let him know how much she wanted him to be home with her. Even if he was just going into the office, she knew he was close. "Nothing," she muttered.

"It's just in case," he said, motioning to the go-bag on the floor. "I'm not going anywhere this week, except back home with you."

The brunette yawned and adjusted the pillow in her arms. "I hate your job sometimes," she mumbled.

Derek slid the suitcase to the end of the bed and knelt down on the mattress in front of here. "Hey," he started, trying to get her to look up at him. "What's this all about?"

Again, her shoulders shrugged, and then fell. "I don't sleep when you're not home," she admitted. "I'm supposed to be getting plenty of rest," she said with an emphasized sigh, "but I toss and turn all night when you're not there."

Derek exhaled softly as he took her hands in his. "Baby, this is what I do." He pursed his lips tightly as he processed his next words. "I know it's tough, and it's not what you signed up for."

She slowly turned her head away from him and nibbled on her lower lip. "I know you love your job," she started. "And I would never tell you to quit. You're too damn good."

The sigh that escaped her lips made Derek's shoulders sag. He focused on their hands together as Cate would not look up at him. "I wish I could be home more," he admitted. She nodded. "What is it about my job that you hate? Let me try to ease your mind."

"These people you hunt down," she began and pursed her lips. "They're monsters. Killers, pedophiles, stalkers – the list never ends." Her blue eyes were turning in to the cloudy gray he always feared. "They're horrible, but you and your team go after every one of them."

"And we save lives, baby," he countered.

The words hung between the two of them. Cate slowly pulled her hands away from Derek's grasp; his words stung because he had saved her. They would not be having this conversation if it was not for his team.

She tightened her grip on the pillow and looked towards the window. "We don't blindly chase these people, Cate. We trust our profile and our instincts."

"You got shot," she reminded him. Her eyes flashed as she turned back towards him. "Don't make it seem like what you do is safe."

He bowed his head. "Are you worried that will happen again?"

She nodded. Those big blue eyes slowly began to fill with tears. "What if you don't walk away next time?" Cate lifted her head to keep the tears back. "I can't face this world without you, Derek."

"You won't."

"You can't promise that." Her lips pursed together; one last attempt to keep all emotion from pouring out.

Derek slid a hand to her bicep – the same area where her tattoo rested on her skin. "I promise you that I will always do everything in my power to come home to you, Catherine." His fingers ran over the letters slowly. "Where is this all coming from?"

She blinked away the tears that brimmed the edges of her eyes. She shrugged. "There have been two times in my life that I thought I was going to die," she admitted. Her hand slid off of the pillowcase and her nails dug into the palm of her hand. "But you were there both times."

"I'm not going anywhere, Catie," he promised. "I mean it, baby – you are stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"I better be," she said as her voice cracked. "I'm not strong enough to do this by myself."

Derek smirked as he leant forward to place a kiss to her forehead. "You are stronger than you realize." She rolled her eyes at his words. "You don't have to believe me, but I know you are."

She exhaled. "I love you too much to lose you." It came as out just louder than a whisper, but her words spoke volumes.

"I know what I have waiting for me at home," he said as she slowly met his gaze. "Before – sure, I would be the first to break down a door. Kick ass, and ask questions later." He sighed. "But in just the past few months, I realize that I have something – someone – to come home to."

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "With everything going on, and the paperwork I received-"

Derek cut her off. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I want you to be honest with me." She licked her lips, trying desperately to not cut him off. "This," he pointed between the two of them, "only works when we're honest with each other."

He slowly placed a hand to her cheek before capturing her lips in a tender kiss. He slipped the pillow out from Cate's grip and pulled her closer to him.

"Don't keep this all bottled in, baby. If you need to vent about my job, I don't mind." She nestled in his arms and rested her head just above his heart. "Sometimes, it's really shitty. I beat myself up every single day because I can't save everyone."

"You're my hero, you know."

"And you're my saving grace, Cate." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "You're the beacon in the darkest night." He smiled as he felt her snuggle closer to him. "I'd be lost without you, Cate. I was a mess before you came into my life."

She held her hand up against his; despite the size difference, she realized just how perfectly their hands matched up together. "I don't make things easy," she warned.

"I hate easy," he replied gently. "I want you any way I can have you."

-xx-