Here we go. The long Part II with the translation of Laura's Diaries. Of course, we will continue our progress of Helena's story as they prepare for their expedition into the mountains.

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PART TWO: The diaries of Laura

Chapter 7

"For months now, I have been drawn to write an account of the time spent fighting the cylons. But we were so busy trying to survive that there was no time to write. We were going from crises to the next crisis.

I have been president of the twelve colonies since the attacks and my days have been endlessly taken by my responsibilities. Day after day, hour after hour, running on barely enough sleep and limited food supplies, we have been in a survival mode for months now, almost two years. Normal life seems completely foreign and strange, as if it belonged to another universe, which once existed but is no more. My goal has been to protect my people. That was up until now my only responsibility and it took all I had, leaving nothing for my own self or any other considerations. To bring humanity to a safe harbor, to save what is left of our civilization, what is left of humankind."

Helena had no idea what a cylon was and the word kept on coming back everywhere and she was hoping that she would find out later in the notes. She imagined that maybe the cylons were a different race or a different ethnic group, which they were at war with. Laura had been president and again there was mention of the twelve colonies.

"I am frustrated that my people will not understand that our goal should be to reach Earth, not to settle on this forgotten planet that promises nothing but a mere respite. This is not the right place for us, and every fiber of my being and my soul tells me that we should not stay. The people, however, much rather listened to dream weavers, who told them promises and lies instead of the truth. I am not going to start telling them lies just to win an election. Truth is: down there is hell, not paradise. I am sure of that. I know it. I am angry that the people blindly chose promises and dreams over reality. We have been weeks without hope. People are tired, they want to breathe real fresh air, not the recycled air of those ships. They chose the easy way. Who can blame them? I blame those who chose to exploit their distress for their own agenda."

"I am never going to give in the easy way. Our best hope is to reach earth, our only hope. By all analyses, this planet is not fit to support us for a long time, a rest stop maybe, a brief respite, but not a permanent settlement. To suggest and imply, as some did, that I am power hungry and that preventing this settlement is just a way for me to keep power is complete non-sense. It makes my stomach churn with disgust. I have always done what was the best for the people, whether they like it or not. I have sacrificed everything for them, up to my own dead bed."

"I could have fixed the elections. I could have won.

But Bill is right. I always have done what is best for the people and in a time of war, my options were limited. We had no choice but fight and survive. I had to make decisions, which I am not proud of. We have seen what happens when the Quorum and the press have things their ways. Bill acted as my conscience. I realized that he knew me a lot more than I thought. He knew I would not survive the shame of cheating, as he said, that I would bring the cancer to my heart. I feel he is the only one who could understand perfectly what I felt. There is no one else who can."

Helena understood that their goal was to reach earth and in less than one page had the confirmation of space travel and of her association with Bill. But now Helena was puzzled by the text describing a different planet and what it seemed a power struggle over it.

"I have decided to go down to the planet with the others. What is left for me here anyway? Empty ships circling around in orbit endlessly? I might as well be down there and make myself useful. Gods know they will need help. After all, someone has to keep an eye on that piece of trash, Gaius Baltar, and do some kind of damage control. I am indeed the only one who can face him. He knows that I do not fall for his game. Now, of course, I am not president anymore. I am just a normal citizen. I never liked politics anyway. But I liked taking care of all of these people and I feel responsible still for them. I just failed ultimately to save them from their own illusions and deception. I long to feel real ground under my feet, not this simulated gravity that makes my stomach flutter sometimes. I cannot deny that fact and I understand that the need for normalcy was the biggest drive to the decision to move down to the planet. Nevertheless, I do still believe that it is the wrong decision. Admiral Adama will stay up here. Bill will never abandon his ship. He will keep watch. He will remain the keeper of the light house."

"I am packing my limited belongings today. Just the few mere clothes I had with me to that first trip to Galactica, an overnight change, some toiletries. It seems like such a long time ago. All that is what is left of my previous life on Caprica. My apartment, the books I used to read, my clothes, the paintings I made, everything dissolved in the deadly radiation and shock wave of the hundreds of nuclear weapons that destroyed our world. I touch the fabric of my clothes as I fold them in my bag and I fight tears. Colonial One is almost empty now, waiting for my successor. I cannot stay here."

"We have been on the run for almost two years now and this old life seems like it never existed, as if it was some kind of dream. Sometime my memory betrays me and I start forgetting how it was there, on Caprica, when we were innocent, naïve, living our lives as if it never would end, taking our nature for granted, our food for granted, our happiness for granted. Sometime, I just close my eyes and I travel back to my apartment, sit down on my coach, which I picked so carefully, flip through the pictures of my lost family. And I open my eyes to the harsh reality of our current live and it becomes unbearable. I could lose my mind thinking of the past. But the fact is, we never really were allowed to grieve for our lost world, we never had the time to grieve."

Caprica was real and destroyed. Helena had first uncovered the story of this lost civilization, its war, its destruction. These people were fugitive, running away from their enemies on space ships.

"With the explosion of Cloud Nine, and the on-going investigation to find out how the nuclear warhead left the Galactica, there was no time to meet with Bill. This new event of terrorism is indeed worrisome. I am not sure if the newly elected Baltar's administration will be up to the task to tackle political unrest. I leave Baltar with the problems. He wanted the presidency. Time to see what he will do with it. I was surprised to see Bill on the day I was leaving. He came to say goodbye this morning before I stepped on the raptor to take me down to the planet surface and insisted on carrying personally my bag to the shuttle. So few things really. I did not want to leave any of my personal papers on Colonial One, where Baltar without a doubt would use them against me. Official papers would stay, as they should, but not the personal notes. Baltar can have the delight to go through the heavy paperwork. But my personal notes, never. Adama agreed to have most of my belongings stored on board the Galactica. I am taking down as little as possible. I want to leave it all behind. Nothing matters much anymore. Bill carried my bag into the raptor and we stayed alone inside for a few minutes. It was a bittersweet goodbye. His eyes never left mine. There was so much unsaid. He was the one who prevented me to steal the election. He felt responsible to what was happening. He felt guilty. He was Bill, and he might never admit it, but it took only one look in his eyes to know how he felt. Our friendship had morphed into a deep affection over the past few months. I suppose it would happen to those who struggle together for such a long time. Bill Adama and I were at the top, leaders, I, president, he, admiral of the fleet, and we could understand each other because our positions were so similar.

He smiled and said 'Have a good trip, Madame President'.

I answered, my voice shaking 'Bill, I am not president anymore'.

Then surprisingly, he put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me into a tight embrace, so tight the emotion chocked me and built in my chest like a tidal wave, as the unreleased tears of the past few days found their way out and escaped my control. I never thought I could cry so much over a presidency, I did not want at the first place. It was imposed on me by fate and now all I wanted was to lead the people. Bill just held me for a while, not asking questions. He did not need to. He just kept on rubbing my back. Then a time frame elapsed and both of us knew that I had to go.

He said: 'Stay safe, Laura. Call me if you need anything. I will be always there for you.'

And when I looked at him again, which what must have been a smeared face and red eyes, his fingers wiped my cheeks clear and his mouth found its way to my lips. Last time he kissed me was also a goodbye, as he thought that I was departing this life. Now, his kiss was unambiguous on his feelings. And it sealed a promise, the promise of something more, as I had become again just a normal citizen, unbound by the weight of responsibilities."

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