Many Thanks for all of those we reviewed. I really appreciate your comments, even if you drop by to let me know you are still here. It is nice to know you are still reading.

This writing process is very cathartic to me and a very nice way to practice my English writing. Sorry if I occasionally miss a grammar error, English is not my first language (those pesky adverbs!).

Chapter 21

The preparations for the trip were going on and Helena was stealing precious time to move along with the document. It was clear that Laura was suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder and many in that group were. This is what war does to people, she reflected. Laura was trying to make sense of her pain and reorganizing her life.

Dr. Inoue announced an official departure date for the next day in the morning. He finally disclosed some of the negotiations and preparations that had taken place in months. They had arranged a native guide, originated from these villages to lead them with the promise that their location would be kept secret. The guide served as an intermediary between the researchers, the UN and UNESCO, and the villages' chiefs. They wanted to remain isolated. It was a difficult balance to obtain. They valued their privacy and wanted to maintain their culture. Yet, Dr. Inoue understood that the younger population was leaving for the cities and villages closer to farming land, threatening the very existence of these tribes. The chiefs wanted the children to be educated and they were scared that their culture would disappear. Part of the deal was that the UNESCO provided funding for a local school, a local medical clinic and would train local people to operate them. The Tanzanian government would put that region on an agenda to declare it a National Park and prevent urbanization, under the disguise of preserving wildlife diversity. The UNESCO would consider them to become a World Heritage site, if the team returned with significant information that this site was indeed the cradle of Laura's population descendants. Months of negotiations had taken place at the highest level of secrecy between the Tanzanian government, the UNESCO, the UN and the local chiefs. In return the chiefs would allow the team to visit, ask questions, sample the population DNA and allow access to any archeological remains.

"Hours have been spent clearing the space left by Baltar and filing the papers of the occupation, which showed us how much the Baltar government collaborated with the cylons. Tom Zarek is ruling the government in name only, with the deal that I would be his vice-president and then he would abdicate in my favor, as he really has no interest in governing. He is a former terrorist, best left in opposition, what he does best. He knows he will never have he support of the military and especially Adama. We reached an agreement to this effect. When I would become president again officially, I would nominate him vice-president. Despite his flaws, Zarek stood up to the cylons, which is more than many of the humans who collaborated. I might not agree with some of his methods, but he had the courage to face them and paid for this with months of detention. He left with this agreement and I started working on reorganizing the office of he president, taking this opportunity to redistribute tasks, like education, to those who would perform best. Rebuilding the government was a daunting task. We had lost many good men and women. Supplies were low; ships had been battered during the rescue mission, especially the Galactica, and needed repairs. The counts of the missing were increasing. Incidents were multiplying, as food was scare, and the law and order was not maintained. I threw myself in work relentlessly, avoiding solitude. Nights were the toughest, as I had recurrent nightmares: Cylons searching me; eyes seen on masked faces; bright and blinding lights; screams, moans and cries; gun shots; dirt; plain terror. I would wake up wondering if I was going crazy".

"Three days later, Bill called me to ask me to come over Galactica. With the help of chief Tyrol, he had uncovered a conspiracy, sanctioned by Zarek, to put on trial without representation those thought to have collaborated with the cylons on New Caprica. Death penalty was given to those found guilty by a jury of seven, called The Circle. No lawyers. Men and women started to disappear, as a result of these secret trials. Adama wanted to confront Zarek with me and as few witnesses as possible to avoid a crisis in an already unstable climate. I dressed quickly and took a shuttle with Tory in the middle of the night."

"We met Zarek in the Galactica briefing room. It became apparent that he was responsible for the disappearance of collaborators, having signed an executive order to that effect. Did he really feel that I would agree to this? I felt the need for vengeance too. I did. I felt a deep anger at what the cylons had done to us, how the cylons corrupted us. But suddenly the abomination of what he had done dawned on me. Our laws had been made and tested over centuries. They were not perfect, but for the most part they worked. Everyone needed a trial with representation, even if that meant that lawyers would have to debate for months to arrive to verdicts, exactly to prevent what was happening: retaliation without grounds, vengeance on those suspected with grounds or without grounds of collaborating with the enemy. This is why we had a democracy. This is why I would not allow the laws to be broken. This is why I did not steal the elections. Gods, I cannot seem to make up my mind on this. When anger wins over me, I regret not stealing that election and when I think logically, I remember about our laws and the roots of our democracy. I knew that with public trials, collaborators would be judged; it would be a circus for the press, and an outlet for the population rage and need for vengeance. But we had to follow the law. I would not have it any other way. Zarek left, accompanied by Tory who escorted him back to his shuttle. I remained in the room with a fuming Bill, angry that he had discovered this conspiracy and had been unable to prevent it.

'It is war!' I said to him. 'All of the horrors that happened down on New Caprica were acts of war.' I am not sure my comments would soothe him. He was a military officer. The occupation, as we had lived it down on the planet, was not about fancy military strategy. It was about guerilla, terrorism, abductions and corruption. There was nothing noble about it.

Guards came over, ready to take me back to my transport, back to colonial one. The corridors might not have been as secure, especially those days, with these scores settled by fire or airlock to anyone from anyone. Bill wanted me accompanied by armed officers. The two guards came. One of them came over and saluted me. I looked at his face, at his eyes. A flash of panic overwhelmed him… and me. I had seen those eyes; I would never forget them.

'Madame President' He murmured. I saw Bill move swiftly towards him, wondering why the guard would address me, warnings flashing in his eyes. The guard sank onto his knees in front of me, tears in his eyes, visibly shaking. 'Please, forgive me Madame President. We were following orders; we did not know what the cylons would do. Jammer is dead. I wish I would be as well.'

His face white with anger, the admiral came over.

'Private, get a hold of yourself.' He barked with force. I raised my hand up to stop Bill from disciplining his marine and bent towards the shaking young man.

'What is your name?' I said to him, my voice breaking.

He looked at me. I saw his tears.

'Buzzard, Madame President.' He added. 'I would never have hurt you. I would never have done this to you.'

I swallowed my pain and nodded, unable to speak. Was it pity? Did I feel contempt for him and those whose weaknesses threw them in the arms of the cylons? Those whose cowardice made them collaborate instead of fighting? Or was it mere compassion at the fact that after all we all were victims of this horrid war? I had lost a lot, part of my body's integrity and part of my spirit, my innocence. They had lost their souls in the acts they had been convinced or forced to commit. What was the difference? They were human. There was so few of us left. I turned my heels and almost ran to my shuttle, leaving Bill with the guard, stunned, in the room. Back on Colonial One, I wished, I could lock myself in a room and scream, but the place did not offer any privacy, especially since it was so crowded with government officials in search of an office and place to live. It was the middle of the night and nobody would ever know about the incident. I lay down in my bed, eyes open, fighting the sleep and the nightmares it would bring."

"Within a few days, I was sworn again into the Presidency, happy to be legitimately in charge again. The last few sleepless nights had given me the opportunity to reflect on the events. Cylons would be winners, because they left us to destroy ourselves, carried in our doubts and our vengeance. The encounter with my guard, one of the men who were present in my cell, when I was beaten up, and almost raped, made me realize that we were all victims. Was he there later on? I had scars on my body from injuries and abuse that happened in detention, and I could not remember more than a few mere flashes of light, hands and pain. What did this guard know, that I did not remember? What did he see that made him act that way towards me? He saw me, body and soul naked. Would I live for the rest of my life in shame at the thought that I had been exposed in such a way and that there was still someone capable of recounting the events? Was he telling his friends about the terrible ordeal of Laura Roslin in a prison cell? An ordeal I barely could remember myself. We were victims of the cylons. We were victims of the brutality of war. The ones taken and the ones tortured and the torturers as well. For the ends of times, we would always look at each other with suspicion. Time would not heal this divide. Despite my anger and the pain I had suffered and witnessed, I knew that I had to start to forgive. I knew it would be hard, if not impossible. I knew it would tear me apart, but I also knew it was the only way we could survive. I probably could kill any one of them, if I let myself, so deep my anger ran. But I was the president and I had to show others the way to the future. I had to put my own experience behind me and be a leader. It would be a long process and a painful one. But vengeance was not the answer and we were so involved in this that nobody, no one, was left impartial. The lines between justice and vengeance were blurred, because we were all victims.

To a stunned audience, I declared a general amnesty to all the population involved in the collaboration with cylons on New Caprica. Bill rose first and started clapping at the public announcement, openly supporting my decision. It had not been an easy one. But that was the only one, the only decision I could make which would allow us to live together and rebuild our lives."

Please Review... More later this week, after I am done with my current grading! Students first! :)