The line is drawn
xxx
To err is human, to forgive is divine. Be they human, humanoid, or something in between, mistakes run rampant throughout their lives. Most are minor offenses and redemption is salvageable. The rest...the chances to make the climb out of the pit they've landed themselves in will kill them before they see a speck of light. Even if they manage to get a hand into the light of forgive - even self forgiveness - there will be a slip that sends them plummeting again. How far? That all depends on them. But let it be assured that, while it may not come easy or sooner than expected, the climb to reach forgiveness from mistakes will reach its end. The rewards that await will be worth more than all the riches fathomable. Just remember, one must forgive them self first before others will.
xxx
The hour tolled on midnight. No one on the Ghost was able to sit, let alone get some rest. They were tinkering away at things. Tinkering is another way of saying they were brooding over their latest failure with objects in their hands. Sabine was so lost in her thoughts that she messed up the color aesthetics in her paint bombs for the fifth time. Her face and hair got all new splashes of color. Hera was making adjustments inside Chopper and kept crossing wires and shocking the Hell out of him. He wasn't a happy camper. Ezra was working on his saber techniques to an old archive he dug up with Kanan on one of their missions from a while ago. This Skywalker guy knew his stuff. No matter what they buried themselves in, the sting of their loss remained.
It was really hard to sleep knowing their biggest advocate was actually a sellout to the Empire. Luring out Rebels just to sell them out and have them monitored or killed. Given the circumstances, death would be a blessing. There's more to this tale than just Trayvis's betrayal. Ezra. Poor Ezra. There isn't a person on Lothal who don't remember the broadcasts Mira and Ephraim Bridger sent out across the galaxy. Their voices rang to the highest mountain tops, traversed the darkest tunnels, as their vehement opposition of the Empire's depravity was abundantly clear. They were pillars of hope to those victimized by the Empire. Beacons of light leading them out of these dark ages so they may envision a brighter tomorrow. These humble, normal, everyday civilians put their necks on the line every single day in that bunker of their home in order to brighten the lives of thousands. Possibly millions. To call them selfless saints would be an injustice. They were angels among men, blessing everyone around them. And none who listened to their broadcasts felt a sense of false hope. Or that they were just preaching. And with the arrival of insurgents combating the Empire, their hope rose. Maybe, hopefully, in spite of Trayvis, the fight will still go on...and no one will extinguish their light. But, just like all who oppose the Empire...they were killed for their disobedience. Ripped away from their son, taken somewhere dark and desolate...and silenced forever. For the eight years since their disappearance, Ezra kept a sliver of hope that they were alive. That one day they would come home and they'd be a family again. Slowly, surely, and without hesitation, he began to accept that they were never coming home. That he just stayed in that tower, kept going back and forth to his old home just out of fear. The sentimentality that's left anchoring him right where he used to be. Now he knows for sure. They're never coming back. Ever. He's alone again...and its where he'll always be.
It could have stopped there. With the death of Ezra's parents...but it didn't. As Trayvis made his motives clear for all to see and hear...a connection between him and Katerina was established. A murder - amongst a series of murder likely, considering her admission - intertwined their lives. Katerina, while engaging Stormtroopers, killed Trayvis's nephew in cold blood. One of the first few of child soldiers had his life cut short because he chose to go on a mission and earn his stripes. And Katerina killed him. That wasn't the worst part. The entire day...after learning she's a clone of Kanan...Katerina was a completely different person. Her javial, compassionate, almost motherly demeanor...was distorted and twisted into this angry, depraved, demon of a woman. She killed Stormtroopers with such fluidity and without a single ounce of hesitation. Almost as if she's done it before. She said as much...but the Ghost crew refused to believe her. The look in her eyes should have been proof enough. They were glowing...she was having fun. On the surface, anyway. And when Trayvis spoke of his nephew...there wasn't a single ounce of sorrow or remorse in her voice, or on her face. She...she looked content with what she had done. Again...on the surface. After they returned to the ship...she wouldn't talk about it anymore. Not Anderson, not Trayvis, not her kill spree - nothing. She went silent...and left the ship...putting up yet another barricade to keep them out.
Kanan had finally had enough. While he wishes to console Ezra, Katerina has to be dealt with. She pummeled him nearly unconscious for keeping from her that she was a clone. She doesn't get to runaway after that. She's confessed to killing people, she showed she can kill, and she's been proven to be a murderer. She isn't allowed to shut down or hide. He exited his room, blowing past Hera as she came out of hers. She was in dismay by the glowering scowl on his brow, the veins in his hand showing as she crushed his lightsaber in his hand. Her heart pounded sensing something terrible on the horizon.
Sabine was cleaning herself up in the kitchen when she heard violent steps rush by, then saw Hera and Chopper race by. "I don't like the looks of this." She cleaned up what she could and chased them down.
Kanan arrived to the cargo area, spotting Ezra and Zeb sparring below. "Ezra…" He called to him, sliding down the ladder. The two stopped as their weapons collided, ogling Kanan strangely...and nervously. He held out his hand, "I need to borrow your lightsaber."
"Huh?" Ezra and Zeb chimed. That was a pretty weird request. Kanan's glare was oozing with malice, preventing them from questioning him. Ezra handed over his lightsaber. Kanan nodded with thanks, and started to head out.
"Kanan, what are you doing?!" Hera called to him. He ignored her, making his way out to the field. Everyone exchanged a fearful glance. There was a foul disturbance in the force brewing a hazardous storm. It was tearing the Ghost and its crew asunder. Soon, they fear, there will be a huge chunk torn out.
xxx
There was always something calming about wide open spaces coated by a full moon's glow that Katerina enjoyed. Sitting atop a large rock on a steep hill she was able to see the wafting ripples of the tall grass for miles in every direction. The sounds of the Loth Cats playing and purring, birds hooting as they soared, and the rustling of the grass blades. Chandrila doesn't have fields like this. Not many of them, anyway. She'd usually have to find a high point in order to find the perfect sensation of calm beckoned by the symphony of a planet's natural sounds. On Chandrila, funnel of torrent wind created by the towering buildings carried the engines and horns of passing vehicles, along with the hustle and bustle of people. The cities never sleep on Chandrila, and its concert is always in full swing.
Lothal was by far a wave of utter silence in comparison, but she was able to get swept away in the melody, let her mind drift back to the days when she hung up her staff...her guns...and tried to live happily with Kendril. The hours they'd spend laughing about the crazy customers, creating new methods to produce quality products and service, their adventures across the galaxy, those times they'd go to resort planets in order to unwind. She misses those days...she misses him. His laugh, his smile, the way he could just make her day brighter by being there. He really was the father she never knew. She loved him so much. She wishes he was here right now. She could really use his council, and to know if he knew the truth about her. Maybe Mon would know.
Katerina's ruminating was interrupted by crunching weeds behind her. A knotting feeling was grasping at her back. She exhaled through her nose, closing her eyes as the presence of Kanan loomed behind her. Ezra's saber was thrown to the ground beside her. She dismissively glanced to it. "You dropped something."
Kanan balled his fingers into fists. "Pick it up!" He commanded. Katerina ignored him, and faced out to the scenery. He'll get bored and leave. He always does. She heard the others come up. Caution was in their steps. Guess this is going to be another stage play for their drama. She doesn't plan to put on another act for them. "I said pick it up! You're not running anymore!" He declared with a truculent murmur.
There was this pinch at Katerina's ego. Her blood ran hot. Zeb was filled with dread. That got her. She slid off the rock and clutched viciously at Ezra's saber. "Excuse me?!" She fumed, whirling around.
"You heard me!" Kanan squared off to her, his own saber in his hands. His thumb teased the button.
Katerina grit her teeth, storming over to him. Ezra's saber was going to break if she squeezed any harder. "No, I don't think I-!" Kanan astonished the others, and her, when his fist came from nowhere and struck her in the face. She was thrown off her feet, sent tumbling down the weed covered hill.
"KANAN!" Hera screamed. Kanan jumped and slid down the hill after her.
"RIINA!" Zeb got ready to charge. Sabine and Ezra stopped them. In their dismay, the children reassured them that...this needs to happen.
Katerina hit a few large rocks on the way down, rolling onto her back starved for breath. She coughed heavily pushing up on her hands and knees. the laser bolt wounds in her shoulder and legs reopened. They burned as if she was stabbed with a lightsaber again. Kanan infuriatingly glided down to her, strutting over like the proud bastard his is to have returned her favor. "Well hear me now!" He barked. He assembled his lightsaber, training the blue beam at her. "Your days of running are over, coward!" Holding her cheek, Katerina staggered to stand. Hot breath exhausted from her dirt and grass filled mouth. "Face me or face them! Your only other option is running away again!" He egged her on, directing attention to the horrified crew up the hill, and drawing the lines where her minimal options resided. "Seeing as how you can't look anyone in the eye, you might as well run!"
"I'm looking you in the eye right now!" She roared in a fury.
"Doesn't seem like it to me! Seems like you're trying to find a way past me! To run away!" He's going to keep driving that knife deeper and deeper until she fesses up.
"Shut up! You don't know a damn thing!" Her voice cracked on her scream. She was frothing at the mouth, eyes filling with tears. "You think you have the right to call me out for running?!" She brazenly took four steps closer to him. "All you've ever done is run from problems that would bruises that delicate soul of yours!" If he's calling her a coward, then he's going to learn where she got it from. "Training under Master Billaba! Training Ezra! Telling me I'm your clone! You ran from all of it! ONly facing it when your arm was twisted"
"Don't you dare!" He warned her with a murderous growl.
"After 15 years, you've lost the right to judge me!" She shot a tearful glare to the spectators, making them flinch. "None of you have that right!" With the exception of Sabine, the crew's heads lowered with shame. Sabine scrunched her nose, feeling really insulted by her. Katerina's attention went right back to Kanan. "Someone who can't be honest with himself has no business being high and mighty with me!"
"HA! Well look at that! Little Riina can lose her composure!" He mocked her. He wishes he could tug at that string and undo all her seams. "Nervous, little girl? You're being laid bare for what you are and you can't handle it!" He cooed maliciously.
"Just one of the few shortcomings I get from you!" She taunted him back, putting her hands on her hips with a disgusted smirk. She narrowed her sights, "The difference here being I've only run from one of my problems!" Her smirk faded into a scowl, "You turn tail any time you're being made to see just how much of an amatur you are!"
"Now look at who's being high and mighty!" He roared back. "Are you seriously going to stand there and preach to me that you're my better?!"
"Hell yeah, I am!" He exclaimed confidently, making him stagger. The crew kept themselves from gasping aloud, but sure felt that burn. "All these years, and all our time together, it was obvious to everyone!" She stomped a foot, securing her stance. "The Masters saw it! The younglings saw it! The crew sees it now! The Inquisitor even said it as much himself!" It brings a sour taste to her mouth to use that monster in her argument. But he said what she's known all along. She has more skill, discipline, and strength than Kanan. She always has. "My skills surpass yours! And it's all because I faced my shortcomings and perfected my skills!" Ezra and Zeb were wavering. This ordeal was making them dizzy. Hera and Sabine choked on every word...finding forms of facts in there. They aren't saying Katerina's right...but she isn't wrong either.
"PERFECTED?!" He scoffed. The outrage of her posturing was choking. "You're a complete embarrassment to the Jedi!" Kanan declared heatedly, snarling rabidly. His sweeping hand drew that line, refusing to let her try to back out from in front of it. She didn't deserve to be trained by the Jedi! She doesn't deserve anything she's gotten. "Kendril should be turning over in his grave right now with disappointment!"
She spat venom to the dirt. "Only because, next to me, you've been embarrassed by how weak you truly are!" She extended a finger, going right for his pride. "Bilaba's failure of a student!"
That was the last straw. Kanan's body moved of its own volition. "KATERINAAA…!" Kanan howled, breaking into a full throttle charge.
"CALEEEB…!" Katerina drew Ezra's saber back, igniting the blade. Kanan swept his saber high, coming down swift and hard. Katerina whisked Ezra's saber out with a flick of the wrist. The fury between the two cast electrical stream between the meeting blades. A piercing shriek of the blades colliding erupted with a shockwave of pure, uncapped energy in a ring. The tall grass was flattened, the Ghost Crew flinched from nearly being blown off their feet, and the very air was consumed in the miasma wafting from the Jedi and Clone. For one final time, the Clone Wars will seek to purge the universe of the jedi, or it will be the Jedi who reign supreme.
xxx
"This is the office of Senator Mon Mothma of Chandrila. How may I serve you?" The protocol droid hologram responded.
"Good evening. This is the Inquisitor." He replied formally, yet curtly. He was in the midst of a still ong flight to Chandrila. He is in no mood for answering machines. "There is an urgent matter I must discuss with the Senator. Is she in?"
"You must forgive me, sir. The Senator has taken a leave of absence."
The Inquisitor's brow knit. A spark popped a piece of his patience from place. Here he is about to claim a solid choke hold on his menacing Rebels and his leading lady is out of the office. "Taken a leave, you say?" He mustered control of the edge in his tone. "Might I ask why?"
"That was made unclear, and is of no concern to anyone other than her." The Inquisitor clenched his teeth, growling in the back of his throat. This cannot be a coincidence. It just cannot. The redaction files suddenly come to light on that mechanic. Later on it is discovered she is a clone and she has a connection to the senator somehow, and said the Senator suddenly takes a leave. He might be reaching, but considering that the redaction has the seal of a Senator on it, he will remain confident that she - or another - are hiding something. "If that is all, have a good day."
"There is one more matter." He caught the droid before it could disconnect them. If the Senator thinks she can hide away, he will just have to bring her out. "Inform the Senator that I will be at her office precisely two days from now. I will be awaiting to have an audience with her."
"That will not be possible!"
"It most certainly will be possible." The Inquisitor purred triumphantly. "Because you, my dutiful droid, are going to report to her that a secret file has caught my attention."
"But-"
"That is all." The Inquisitor ended the call, feeling quite proud of himself. None can hide from him for long. And soon, he will have not only the byproduct of a seasoned soldier under his thrall, but a Senator as well. Things are certainly looking up for him. "Hmm…" Another idea came to his devious brain. He made a quick call. "This is the Inquisitor. I need you to monitor shuttles for Chandrila."
"What am I looking for, Sir?"
"Not what. Who." He smoothly corrected.
xxx
A lightning storm raged from the deadlocked sabers, empowered by the virulent rage pouring from Kanan and Katerina's skin. The harrowing maelstrom of disdain and resentment surged in their glowing aquamarine eyes. Their arms trembled fighting to maintain one another's awesome, adrenaline fueled strength in their saber, preventing the other from gaining ground.
The static escaping their dome had the hairs of Hera, Sabine, Zeb, and Ezra standing on end. Chopper feared he was going to be taken offline if a single strand struck were trembling, trapped in pertfied horror. The whole field around them was fidgeting, going stiff, and often going limp. This wasn't just some brawl that would transpire between angry siblings. This is contempt that has been allowed to sit, grow, and spill over. One way or another, these two were going to spill blood...and finally sever the thinning thread that reunited them in the first place. And there was nothing any of them could do to stop it. There would be no rooting for a victor either. Because, regardless of the outcome, the whole crew will have suffered a loss.
Kanan and Katerina put a foot forward, digging a foothold to press their offensive. The glare from the saber heightened the intensity of their locked gazes, a war long been waged transpiring within. Here and now, that war will be drawn to a close. In perfect sync they shoved one another, leaping a good distance away. Huffs of hot breath later they charged instantly again. They came within a few feet of each other. Blind and violent swings of the sabers had the swords screeching in pain, howling for mercy in their abuse. Glaring flashes erupted on each clash. The sabers were blue blurs in the night. A dome of ultraviolet rays spanning into the night sky. The bodies of Kanan and Katerina vanished off and on. Up and down they'd strike to bring one to their knees. Side to side so that they would trip each other up. Parries and blocks surprised the combatants, the daze from the repel making their movements clumsy. Glancing blows were enough to put each other on the run.
Katerina thrust her saber. Kanan edged to one side, feeling the heat seeping breeze of its narrow miss. He raised his saber like an executioner, coming down fast for her neck. Katerina twisted her body, swapping the saber from her right to left hand in order to save herself from a fall. Kanan's saber met hers. She had the blade backwards so the heat was uncomfortably baking the length of her arm. She wrenched herself back the other way, getting Kanan's saber away enough for her to roll back out of the way. Kanan tried again with his axe attack. Katerina swatted the saber away like it was a bug, getting his to stagger. She was halfway on her feet when he struck again. She mustered all her strength to be able to stand against him. He kicked her in the hip. She lurched forward with a yelp, then barely managed to weave back when his saber flew right past her face. He burned hairs of her bangs off. He drew his saber back with both hands, aligning it with her neck. On his thrust, Katerina easily slipped her saber between his and her neck. She used one hand as she rna for him, trailing the sabers together. She stepped on Kanan's foot, throwing a punch. Kanan caught the punch and bashed his forehead into her nose. Katerina clutched at her face, roaring in agony as blood trickled from her nose. Ezra was holding his nose. He felt that one.
Katerina was furious, rubbing her nose and ignoring the thumps. "If that's all you've got then Bilaba is twisting in her grave!" She snarled.
"I'm just getting started, CLONE!" Kanan fumed.
The crew watched in awe of the gladiators, unable to keep up for very long. The speed and the agility possessed by Katerina and Kanan was inhumanely increased beyond parameters. There'd be a series of strikes, then they'd become deadlocked. What can be described as ducks and dodges would transpire, and then the sabers would lock. Each time on a deadlock, Kanan and Katerina seemed to have saved themselves from a devastating and deathly blow. All that was discerned in the fight were the lightsabers. Then there was a roar from Kanan. He had finally had enough. He pried Katerina's saber down, then forced her arms apart, leaving her wide open. To her bandaged shoulder he threw a force empowered punch, and to her bandaged leg her kicked her. He ended his assault with a punch right between her ribs and blew her off her feet. She hit the ground hard, groaning in a daze.
"MAN! RIGHT IN THE GUN WOUNDS!" Sabine ripped at her hair. That was a low blow, even for this.
"I honestly forgot all about those!" Ezra was sorry to say.
"Me too." Zeb had to admit with red cheeks. The fight has just been so intense that none of them remembered Katerina was shot. Hera didn't chim in. She was frightened silent. No longer by the fight...but because Katerina bounced back extremely fast.
Katerina was heaving and wheezing in an attempt to numb the throbbing from the blows. However, as she came down from her adrenaline high, she noticed...they weren't throbbing. They weren't sore either. No more sore than before. They were...numb? Katerina gawked at herself. Her wounds...or numb. That tumble down the hill...she barely recognized that either. She hardly felt a thing. Everything was numb. She...is...numb…
"Ha...ha-ha...ha...HA-HA-HA…" She slapped a hand to her face, howling with crazed laughter. Kanan furrowed his brow, confused by what she found so funny. Meanwhile, Zeb was increasingly terrified his girlfriend had finally snapped. Hera, Sabine, and Hera, on the other hand, were scared for an entirely different reason. Katerina licked her lips hungrily, trailing her tongue to her teeth. She twirled the saber like a baton in one hand. She pushed off the ground, rocketing for Kanan. In a panic he threw his saber up. They became deadlocked once more, but he was nearly flung to the floor. She's deceptively strong. "Hey...Caleb…" She purred darkly. Kanan looked at her, and he nearly screamed. Her face was twisted in crazed malice. Her pupils might as well have been gone because she was leering at him with solid aquamarines. Her smile literally went from one ear to another. She brought her face in close and whispered in tandem to her pushes, "That-didn't-HURT!" She snarled giddily. Kanan shuddered, his stomach doing flips from the toxins wafting from her breath.
"It didn't...hurt?" Sabine repeated in terror. She was shaking. What did she mean by that? Those blows should have hurt. "How...how can something like that not hurt?" Is Katerina just so disconnected that nothing phases her.
"Don't be fooled. She's hurt." Zeb testified, folding his arms troubled. He gazed upon his lover with sorrow. "Just not physically."
Katerina stepped back, letting her strength waver. Kanan was dumbfounded by his ease forward. Then Katerina shifted the saber, swiftly diverting it down toward the side, unleashing a high flying kick for his head. Kanan wasn't a slug like she thinks. In one motion her sheathed his saber and caught her leg. She cursed herself with a hiss through her teeth. Kanan easily lifted her off the ground, swinging her about in a circle in order to throw her. Katerina sheathed her saber and clawed at the dirt. Protruding rocks let her wrench to a halt, hitch Kanan to a stop. She pushed on her palm to add power to the buck of her free foot. It hit Kanan right in the chest, forcing him to release her foot. The moment her feet touched the ground she was back on the offensive, bombarding Kanan with a fury of punches. He blocked every single one with his flat palms. He guided one of her punches sideways. She went too far forward. Kanan jerked an elbow and she smashed her face right into it. He got pinches in on her face and sides, returning one of her own kicks to her chest. Katerina caught the foot by the ankle. She went in and jabbed her elbow right on his knee. Wasn't enough force to shatter it, but it hurt. Kanan was faltering, feeling the nerves grow weak and bid him fall. His saber left his hands. Katerina pushed up on his shoulders, coming to a handstand. She twisted around, swing her legs down and around his neck and to his upper back. She threw herself all the way back, her palms touching grass. Through shere willpower Kanan's feet left the ground and he was sent flying, skipping across the harsh terrain.
"Whoa…" Ezra and Sabine were entranced. If she can do that when mad, they're really glad they never upset her.
Hera was in dismay to see him roll like a discarded doll. Her blood ran cold hearing a familiar screech. Katerina ignited Ezra's lightsaber, running for Kanan with it drawing a burning scar through the dirt. He was barely getting on his hands and knees. She raised the saber over his head. "RIINA, NO!" She brought it down...it stopped. Hera's heart stopped, relief and terror waged war inside her. Katerina hissed through gritted teeth, trying hard to move the saber. Kanan had stopped the saber dead in its tracks with an extended hand. The force roared from his palm, keeping the completely still. She struggled to free herself. The saber wasn't budging.
Kanan shot his head up. Katerina was unnerved by his hardened drive. "DON'T GET COCKY AND LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!" He swiped the hand, tearing the saber out of her hands. He used the force again to drag her forward. He bashed his foreamr at her neck, making her flip onto her back. The back of her head hit a hard object. Maybe a rock. She cringed when Kanan stood over her. He had his pistol drawn, the hammer clicked back.
"KANAN, STOP!" Zeb begged. Kanan was squeezing the trigger. Katerina whipped her body, her flailing feet kicked his blaster out of his hands. A stray bolt exploded out but missed hitting anything besides the ground. She freestyled herself back around, entangling her legs with his and bringing him to a hard faceplant in the dirt. Zeb couldn't help showing his relief. Like Hera...he doesn't mean to root against their friend...but their lover comes first in their hearts.
Katerina slithered out from under him. She cartwheeled along his body, making sure she smashed his face in the dirt before springing off of him. "Pretty ruthless trying to shoot me." She mocked.
"No more...ruthless...than you...trying to take my head off…" He grunted while pushing up out of the dirt. He really hoped that was a dirt clod he spat out. "If I didn't know any better...I'd say this is old hat to you!" Note the sarcasm in his tone. He's gradually coming to accept that she has blood on her hands.
"Have you forgotten, Caleb?! I'm a clone!" She tired to make it sound like it was a boast. But deep down it was killing her.
Sabine was pounding a fist to her chest. "I'm not sure I can take much more of this." She whimpered. And she wasn't referring to the close calls either. The crew felt the same as her. They want to step in. To stop this. But at what cost. What's been said, what's been done, and what has transpired can not be undone. There will only be lingering resentment that will further decimate the team...and leave nothing but fragmented shells of what they once were.
Katerina put on her best rabid smile, licking her lips as she declared, "The one thing I do better than anyone is kill!" Zeb grit his teeth, growling deep in his throat. Hera and Ezra jumped away from him, terrified of the rage in his eyes. Do not...talk...that way...He can't take anymore of that. He can't bear listening to her...try to be a monster to cover up...to cover up that she wants to break down. No one else may be able to see it now, but he sees it clear as day. Being able to kill, on top of being a clone, is tearing her apart so much she wants to scream. "Her form looks good!" She posed, drawing a foot back for a goal scoring kick. She ran up.
Kanan stopped her foot mid swing. He punched in her knee, satisfied by the feel of bones bending under his knuckles. He got to a knee and grabbed her by the shirt. He punched her over and over in the face and chest, getting in a couple blows to her waist. Then he flipped her over his head and threw her. She softened her landing using her hands to roll, but ended up tripping on uneven ground and tumbled in the weeds. "You sound so proud of that fact!" Kanan snarled venomously, dusting himself off as he stood. "Does it make you happy that you can kill without mercy?"
Katerina kit her brow, picking pricklers off his shirt. Standing up she felt rocks in her pants. "There you go judging me again when you don't know anything!" He likes to do that. Sound intelligent when he's nothing more than a nightlight waving idiot. "You don't know what I've been through! What I've had to sacrifice! What I've lost to be here! What I've had to give up for your STUPID FIGHT!"
The crew was stunned to hear her call their cause stupid. It was honestly a real culture shock of a statement. If anything, they felt she was more invested than any of them. She certainly worked hard to keep them level headed. She always advised caution, dove headlong into heavy fire to save them, and was always putting in so much effort to maintaining proper maintenance in the ship. Maybe...maybe her heart was only half in it the whole time...and it's being made to come out now. Did...did we twist her arm for this? Hera feared, rubbing her arm. Wanting to be with Kanan was her main reason for coming, and using the threat of the Empire...they weren't a real threat to her or her friends...until she got involved with them. Are we the reason she's had to lose what she's worked for?
"Oh boo-hoo, poor you! We've all lost people!" Kanan scathingly mocked her. "Zeb lost his entire race! Hera's people are enslaved! Sabine's world is Imperial Controlled! Ezra's whole family is dead!" That just dug the knife deep and murdered the morale of the whole team. They understand he's making a point, but did he have to be so blunt about it? "Why don't you stop playing the sob card and tell the truth already!" A tidal wave of abject rage and hurt crashed to her shores, completely obliterating her barriers. The pieces were dragged into a void. Her unbridled rage was followed by sadness as images of the past 15 years - those she has killed, friends she's hurt, and the void she trapped herself in - haunted her. Kanan genuinely became concerned when...when she stayed silent. She dropped her head. Her shaky breath was leaving partially parted lips.
"The truth…" She mumbled under her breath. She sounded defeated. Then her fists balled. Her shoulders tensed. She was shaking. "THE TRUTH?!" She shot tear filled daggers at him. "YOU WANT THE DAMN TRUTH?! Here's your truth!" She stormed over to him, hooking him by the collar so he would not miss a beat being brought an inch from her face. "I LIKED IT!" And there it was - decimating all beliefs that Katerina wasn't capable of murder, or sought satisfaction in killing.
From her very shoulders, Kanan and the crew saw a toxic aura wafting from her shoulders, forming to the beast Katerina's tried to keep locked away. Katerina was heaving heavily, trying her absolute hardest not to break down. It was too late. She was coming undone. Her gaze shifted to the audience...and immediately she wavered. Zeb...His crestfallen face broke her. He seemed to hurt that she...she admits to have enjoyed taking a life. She shoved Kanan away from her. There was no getting out of this now. "Kat-"
"I enjoyed killing those troopers." She said once more before he had a chance to probe her further. Her shoulders hung limply, her face swollen with...loathing! Kanan caught a glimmer of it, but there was no doubt. Katerina was becoming disgusted with herself. "I savored killing them. My every waking thought was spent devising the most cruel and painful means of making every one of those Imperials suffer!" Suffer in a torment that would be marshalled with every breath they strive to take in order to remain on the mortal coil. The longer they lived...the more she could inflict...and the greater her pain became. "Everyday...everynight...every chance I got I went out and picked a fight with a stormtrooper!" She picked fights? Like a schoolyard bully? Katerina took her staff in hand, able to see flashes of the blood that will forever stain its pristine finish. "I'd lure them to a place of my choosing, WHERE I HAVE THE ADVANTAGE, and I wouldn't stop until my hands were covered in their blood!" She can still feel the sweet, euphoric sensation of their faces breaking under each blow. Hear their whimpers as they begged her to stop. "I'd rip off their helmets so I could watch the light leave their eyes, see the fear that would be forever frozen to their faces as they plummeted into Hell!" She extended the staff, ushering power to the bulbs. "The satisfaction I got from eviscerating them was so intoxicating, so delicious that I never wanted to stop!" The surging electricity illuminated the destructive bloodlust, and the rippling from her internal struggle. "The Empire wants to know fear?" SHe angled the staff toward Kanan. He felt on the spot, a tension bunching in his chest. "I GAVE THEM SOMETHING TO FEAR!" She swung the staff, cutting at the weeds, burning them in a cinder ashen gash. Rage was directed at Kanan again. "And whenever they accused me of being a Jedi, that set me off on an all new level!" This is what Kanan dreaded. Here it comes. "It wasn't the Jedi they needed to fear! IT WAS ME! IT'S STILL ME!" She roared. Ezra was feeling conflicted. She sounds so resentful of the Jedi, yet she aided him in his training like she was one of them. Why would she promote the teachings of those...she didn't like? Why would she help him become a Jedi? He's so confused.
"Fear, huh?" Fear - a Jedi's worst enemy. Fear breeds hatred, and hatred snares its victims with strings. With those string it drives them to commit disastrous acts they would otherwise never commit. Like killing to subside pain. "They need to be afraid?!" He pressed disappointed. A weakness a sith would prey upon to snare their next apprentice.
"That's right!" She growled. They need to be very afraid! Of her!
"They need to be brought to their knees!" Kanan threw in, stepping forward. Everyone who has done her wrong needs to be subjugated to her wrath. Is that what he's hearing?
"And they need to stay there!" She stomped, her voice climbing to the screech of a banshee. She huffed and puffed, losing all control over her already rampant emotions. Her knees were knocking together, struggling to keep her aloft. She put a hand over her face. Ken...KEN! She seethed his name, tears running down her face. She clawed at her tearing chest, nearly buckling to her knees. Ken...Ken...KENNY! She wailed. "They made us run. Made him run. Made him a criminal for having me as his ward." She and Kendril...they just kept running...living in fear...they could never rest. Kendril's seizure… "His seizure...was brought on from stress...protecting me killed him! Them hunting anyone from the temple killed him!" Zeb and Hera gaped in awe. It's as much their fault as it is hers! That's how she sees it. But she can't really blame herself. Ken adopted her! Ken...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! She frothed at the mouth, locking her sights back on Kanan. "They need to know what it's like to have to constantly look over your shoulder! To know what it means to be helpless! To feel the despair that comes from being trapped in a sea of corpses…" The copses...the younglings, troopers, those innocent people...so many bodies...so much blood. She was getting dizzy. The weight of it all...she dropped her knees. Her arms wrapped so tightly to herself that she was constricting herself. The shaking...wouldn't stop. She can't stop shaking. The bodies...all of the younglings and masters gone. The temple was ablaze. All of it was ash...gone...nothing left. "They...all...need to understand...what it means to know that there was nothing they could have done!" She tried her hardest to speak in full. Her words kept breaking on each bite.
"Just like you." Kanan moaned, feeling sorry for her. He sank into himself, closing his eyes. Up until now, he's never quite comprehended the trauma that's been burrowing at her soul all this time. "When you came back to the temple that day. That was the scaredest you've ever been." Until the Inquisitor came along, and then she was introduced to true terror. Kanan flicked off his sympathy switch, galring hard as he grasped for the sour chords she struggled to keep from him. "And were it not for Master Yoda and Kenobi you'd be part of those corpses." The very Jedi she claims to be more terrifying than. Katerina's face spanned in shock. Hera's stomach clenched, sensing what Kanan was about to do. "You were helpless then just like you are now!"
Her facade constructed entirely of glass bore cracks. In between the thin cracks could a child be seen who still weeps. Katerina stood before that glass...her back to that child who cries...trembling with anger. "No I'm not…" She fumed. "NO I'M NOT!" She came from her delusion, standing her ground to Kanan. "I'm not that scared little girl anymore!"
"You sure about that?" Kanan challenged.
Katerina roared at the top of her lungs. She charged for him, scooping up Ezra's discarded lightsaber. Kanan summoned his back to his hand, igniting the blade right as she lashed out at him. Her strike was sloppy this time. "I'm stronger than I was that day!" She screeched. She stunned him with a kick to his groin, then punched him twice in the face. "I'm stronger than I was yesterday!" She hammered the saber, axing at him and getting him to back away. Kanan was regretting upsetting her. Her strikes were just fueled by her grief. But it would cost her. She went low, drawing the lightsaber back. "I'M STRONGER THAN THE JEDI!" She thrust the saber with all her might.
Kanan weaved to the side. "And there it is." He flourished his saber, the blade hitting just an inch from opposing saber's hilt. A numbing shock surged into Katerina's hand and it flew from her grasp. Kanan used the force and pushed it back to Ezra. He caught it. Kanan then sheathed his saber, grabbed Katerina by a fistful of hair and jabbed the saber jilt several times between her ribs. Her muscles ruptured. She coughed up blood. Kanan tossed her back, then sent her onto her back with a kick. Zeb and the others winced. She was going to feel that tomorrow. Spasms had Katerina's body betraying her. She fought to prop herself on her elbows. She gasped in dismay of Kanan putting his saber in her face, making the battle his.
"KANAN, NO, PLEASE!" Zeb begged him. Sabine, Ezra, and Hera had to wrestle him to stay put, even though Hera wanted to run down there as well.
Katerina glared at him, her neck tensing as she dared him to go through with it. It would make him happy after all, right? Her kind are the reason no Jedi are left! "You do resent them...don't you…?" Katerina was caught off guard by the softness in his tone. The contrition on his face...was hard to see. Kanan took a breath as if he had come to a hard conclusion. "You resent the Jedi...you always have."
It was no longer a question...but a statement. One that made Katerina lower her head with shame. The shock that shared between the crew was wrenching. She dug her fingers into the dirt. "If it wasn't for the Jedi…" She bit into her lower lip, "NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!" Her words echoed like an executioner's nell. She turned her head to the side, unable to look him in the eye. "Order 66 never would have happened if it wasn't for them! So many would still be alive…"
He lowered his saber. "Do you really believe that?"
Katerina threw dirt in his face, getting him to back off. She didn't attack him while he choked, just stood up. Her ribs hurt a little. "The Jedi were put on a pedestal! Seen as gods!" Worshipped, approached for guidance, coveted for defense - no one could wipe their ass without a Jedi around to watch for an assassin. "Nothing could defeat them, nothing could stop them! Everyone depended on them because they were invincible!" WERE! They WERE invincible...until they weren't anymore. They got picked off like bugs. "Where was that invincibility when they all got shot in the back?!"
"She's really going for the throat on this." Sabine remarked.
"They both are." Ezra added. They're trying to hurt each other for common ground.
Kanan growled as he got the last bit of dirt out of his eye. "For all their amazing strength," Katerina pressed, "They weren't strong enough to fend off science projects!" They weren't strong...at all...when she thinks about it.
"Reality check! The Jedi never sought strength of body! Only strength of spirit!" Kanan defended them. He won't let her disparage the honor of his fallen masters and brethren. Not here, not now, not ever! "As long as that spirit was strong, no one - especially not some emotionally distraught young adult - could ever match them!" Katerina took zero offense to that. It was a pretty weak insult. "You've grown in age and skill, Katerina, but your spirit is the weakest I've ever sensed!" She arched a brow. "I sensed it the day we reunited, and I sense it now!" She tightened her body, feeling exposed. Kanan put a hand to his chest. Her wavering resolve was like a flare in the night. "I've never known why. But now I do! It's because you're a murderer!" Katerina's whole face exploded in hurt. Shock and dismay ricocheted between Hera, Sabine, and Ezra. They can't believe he said that. "You killed that boy in cold blood! You wanted him to die!"
"No...I didn't!" She screamed direly. "It was an accident!" She never saw him coming. He wasn't supposed to be there!
"The only accident was The Jedi and Kendril trusting you!" Katerina became entangled in hurt and disgust. The Hell did you just say?! Kanan wasn't sorry. She threw Bilaba in his face, he gets to throw Kendril in hers. "How can they place so much trust in someone who can't face herself let alone others?!"
"HOW COULD I FACE THEM?!" She yelled desperately. She clawed at her scalp. Kanan made the mistake of looking away. Katerina charged. She chopped at his wrist, making him drop his saber. She quickly kicked it away in any direction, then punched him in the face. "All that trust!" Two jabs in his stomach and one went to his jaw. "All that faith!" Kanan was on the ropes as her barrage continued. She was lashing out in hysteria, unable to stop. "How could look them in the eye..." he attacks were slowing. Kanan thought this would be his chance, "WHEN I WAS STEALING THE LIGHT FROM ANY THAT LOOKED MY WAY?!" She tackled him to the dirt. It shocked her and Kanan when his back hit the hill, but she was able to be on top of him. By the collar of his shirt she smashed him against the hill, screaming erratically. "MY NEIGHBORS! PEOPLE DOWN THE STREET! KEN HIMSELF! MON!" Mon? That name struck a bell in Hera's head. After everything she's done, would they even want to look at her. She held her head, her skulls cracking open down the middle. "It wasn't just Imperials! It was everyone that ever crossed my path!" No one was safe from her. "The thugs, the homeless, families in the street! Everyone was them! They were all responsible!" Kanan, amid the haze drawn from her banging him around, became astonished. There was true terror and hatred wallowing within her. He knows she isn't heavy, but that weight that has burdened her was crushing him. It was pouring into him, building pressure within him. In her eyes, everyone who behaved like sheep were guilty. "Anyone who was able to smile or be merry with The Empire in charge! I attacked them all! ...Even Ken!" She shrank into herself. Kanan gasped aloud.
"You attacked him?" Zeb's voice quaked. He can't have heard that right. For her - KATERINA - to get so enraged she'd attack the man that brought her into his home? Her assaults on Hera and Kanan notwithstanding.
Katerina...as she admitted before...was unable to face him. She can't. Her shoulders dropped. Her arms became limp noodles, her hands leaving his collar. Kanan propped himself on his elbows, bringing himself closer to Katerina. He didn't want to just hear her. He wanted to see. He can feel the barrier she placed between them dissipating, allowing him to sense to true shame she'd carried. "He kept telling me to stop. Begging me to see what I had become." She couldn't keep her voice from jumping. It stings to talk about Kendril. Admitting she hurt him was another sort of pain entirely. It's hard to choke down that you hurt someone who loved you unconditionally for so long. "He'd use you and the Jedi as leverage to pacify me." Kanan and the others don't need an account to know that that didn't go over very well with her. They can see it with the fire in her eyes. "I shattered his leg!" Hera and Sabine gasped aloud. Ezra and Zeb were stunned silent, almost disgusted with her. Kanan exhaled through his nostrils, closing his eyes. What she did to Mon was...worse. But she won't drag her into this. "I didn't care what anyone wanted, or who would be disappointed. They were dead, and he would be too. It was only a matter of time. Everyone would die or be killed like they were."
"That's why you kept your weapons locked up, isn't it?!" Ezra stated, gasping with a eureka glow. He remembers seeing Katerina dust her guns and staff off once. There was dust, stains, and worn out parts. When he asked about it, she told him that she kept them locked up. Hearing her story, he understands now why she did, and why she always keeps harsh control of herself when fighting.
Katerina nodded somberly. She removed herself from Kanan, offering him a defeated hand. He willingly accepted it. She had to use both hands to hoist him up. She didn't look him in the eye when stood near her. But he didn't shrink away. He stayed close. He wasn't...going to turn away. "When I killed that kid...I puked whenever I saw myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize the person staring back. I still don't." Even less now since she learned she was a clone. "Master Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Ken always said that I was meant to bring light to those around me!" Till this day she still doesn't have a single clue about why he they would put that sort of stress on her. She didn't think it was possible for them to be so glaringly wrong. "How can I do that when I'm stuck in one of the darkest places no person should ever be in?!" Kanan felt merit in her question and was saddened that he didn't have an answer. "I KILLED people, Caleb, to make the pain stop! It only made it worse! With you guys, I tried so hard not to go overboard so that you would never see it!"
"That's why Vizago's tactics disgusted you. And why the Empire's carnage saddens you." Sabine remarked with a harsh edge in her voice. "It reminds you of what you did." She sounds any more damning and Katerina will be sent to the firing squad. Or thrown in space to die of oxygen deprivation. "Is that also the reason your file was redacted? Why you don't seem to exist anywhere?" She was out for blood.
"I always assumed that WAS the reason." She acknowledged without a single tremor. If anything, she thought that was the only reason. "I knew my redacted file would catch up to me one day." She sighed, folding her arms. She was calming down. "What I didn't know was that, likely, the leading reason is because...I'm a clone. I always assumed it was to hide me from being killed." This just means she needs to speak with Bail or Mon as soon as possible. "But if I could help it…if I could have hidden it forever…" She glided her somber eyes to Zeb, "We would not be having this conversation." Attention shifted entirely to Zeb, where he confirmed Katerina's claim by lowering his head. It also confirmed one other thing - Zeb wasn't just attune to the truth in her statement...he's been aware of her crime for a long time. Eyes haven't been just glued to this drama. They burned holes in the very terrain it took place in. It will not soon be forgotten. "I would rather keep this hidden than have you hate me." Being hated is worse than being alone in her eyes. "But that went out the window when you learned I was a clone." She shrugged her hands. Kanan was pushed by a pnag of guilt. "Now you know I have murderous impulses."
"That still doesn't make me hate you." Kanan testified sincerely. He finally touched her without malice. His hands were on both her shoulders, bringing her in closer. "You're a clone, but you're your own person." She knit her brow, not really sure she believes that. "You killed while on your own. Succumbed to hatred and fear, lashed out. Since then you've made up for it." He pressed, refusing to let her beat herself up any longer. He's done enough of that to himself and to her for the next lifetime. "For all of your sins, you've worked to reconcile. But…" He sighed heavily, regretting that there has to be a rub here, "It does make me question...if we can trust you." Katerina shot an aghast glance at him. Ezra, Zeb, and Hera gasped. Sabine scowled in...agreement. "You know what made the clones attack. Or so they tried to explain."
There was a prick in a part of Katerina's head. She nearly forgot about that. "I do." It was a chip! If she came from Kamino, then those long necks must have put one in her head for when Order 66 would take place. She touched her head. I have one...I must have one. Why didn't it activate? "Huh…?" She felt something...a welt of some kind. Maybe a bruise from the fight? No...it doesn't hurt. It feels...old.
"So you know you have a chip." Kanan declared. Chip? Ezra remarked in his mind. Kanan backed away from her, his hands slipping off her. For the first time, she twitched. When his hands left ehr, the warmth they seeped into her disappeared instantly. She was left cold, barren...desolate. "There...there may come a day...when you might-"
"KANAN! SHE WOULD NEVER ATTACK YOU OR EZRA!" Hera stopped him right there, screaming at the top of her lungs. It was just ludicrous. Lumping her with the clones is one thing! But accusing her of wanting to murder Jedi was just...so what if she resents them. A lot of people do! It's not uncommon. "YOU'RE BEING SO STU-"
"Hera!" Katerina's bark silenced the Captain on the spot. "He's right." Hera and Zeb were stunned. Katerina massaged her head where the welt was. "Lately...I've been feeling it. It's there. That darkness…" The one that made her go insane years ago, and has returned for a sequel these past few days. "I may not have joined in the killing of the Jedi…" Which she thanks her lucky stars for, "But it is abundantly clear that I have a killer's instinct. I'm also trained in several forms of combat." She's a walking, talking, weapon of mass destruction skilled in engineerings, combat, and survival. "I'm dangerous. I only fell short due to not having the Force."
"You're not dangerous!" Zeb roared. Seeing that the fight was over he road down the hill, roughly taking Katerina by her hands. "You're not dangerous in the least, Riina!" He professed.
"Yes I am, and all of you know it!" She shouted, ripping her hands out of his. Hera and the others came down next. Chopper landed on Ezra, crushing his spine. "You saw what I did today! You know what I'm capable of!"
"Yeah...but…" Zeb can't deny what he's seen. But that doesn't make her dangerous. Not to them at least. A hum full of doubt caught his ear. He turned with dread, catching Sabine in deep thought. "SABINE! You don't feel the same way, do you?!" Sabine was startled to being called out...but remained silent. "Come on! You and Kanan are ridiculous! After all this time, now you don't trust her?!"
"She was created by Imperial lackies, Zeb!" Sabine exclaimed heatedly. "Her sole purpose is the attack, destroy, and kill everyone and everything in her path!" She angled a damning finger at the resigned Katerina. "Sure she's doing good now! But everything created by the Empire eventually has its true purpose come to light and everyone gets hurt! EVERYONE!" She screamed shrilly. Zeb...Hera...Ezra...they can't believe her. She...she really thinks...she's convinced...Katerina would kill them...for the Empire. This is...she can't be serious. "You saw what she did today! What she did to Kanan! That's what happens when she gets mad! This is the true Katerina! Everything until now has been...FAKE!" That one word resounded in everyone's ears like...like a...they weren't sure what it was. They were just caught between rage, sorrow, and disdain that Sabine had the gall to call her fake. No one said anything...but what they felt was as loud as she was.
Katerina's whole body went rigid. Not a single time did she look in Sabine's direction. She just kept her head down. Because...because...she was right. I...I am a fake. Not real. An imitation. I kill...I don't feel...I'm...a clone. "How dare you say something like that!" Zeb continued with his tirade. He and the others didn't notice Katerina leaving. "She's saved your life more times than I can count! What's your deal?! Just because your home became a tool for-" A snap of some twigs caught his ear, making him abandon scolding Sabine to catch Katerina already up and over the hill. "Riina?" He shook. She was already gone from sight. Zeb ignored Sabine, digging in his claws and toes to egt up the hill in two leaps. "RIINA! Come back!"
Hera and Ezra remained behind to check on Kanan...who was heading in the opposite direction. Hera let Ezra go keep an eye on him, while she dealt with a very grim looking Sabine. "I can't believe you said that!" Hera roared, swinging an arm and getting in her face. Sabine bunched up, putting up another wall. Just as Hera knew she would. "For someone who shuts herself off, you're pretty judgemental!" Sabine bit into her lip. Hera went after Kanan without another word.
"I'm not wrong…" Sabine mumbled under her breath. "She...she's just another weapon…" A lone tear ran down her face. "The Empire...won't destroy my world a second time. She put a hand over her mouth, preventing herself from crying aloud as she dropped to her knees.
xxx
Katerina didn't know where she was going. Not toward the ship, that was for sure. She was just walking...walking...her steps rapid as she tried to find the strength to...to run. With that wound in her leg - that was suddenly hurting now that the adrenaline was wearing off - she wasn't getting anywhere fast. Which is why she wasn't shocked to hear Zeb right behind her. "Riina! Katerina, wait!" She just kept walking. Limping, actually, but moving away from him at a brisk pace. Zeb was charging on all fours, coming out in front of her. "Wait, wait, wait! Will you please stop?!" He had to skid to a halt and practically throw himself at her to get her to stop.
"Get out of the way, Zeb." Not exactly forceful with her mumbling and her head down. She tried to step past him. He moved with her, blocking her. She went the other way. He blocked her again. She didn't react or raise a word, she just kept trying to get past him.
"So that's it?! You're just going to run away from us?! From me?!" She noticeably flinched, her face scrunching up. "Haven't you had enough of running?"
"I'm good at it." Was her response. Her voice was choking on her unwillingness to cry anymore.
"You're good at so much more too!" Zeb had to kneel to force her to let him see her face. He held her by the shoulders so she couldn't run away anymore. "You're a genius engineer, a master fighter, a diplomate when there are arguments, and you're so damn kind I get a cavity." her sweetness is intoxicating. It's part of the reason he loves her so much. "You didn't just help us because Ezra asked you yesterday! You helped us because you still care! Clone or not, you want to help people who need you!" That's just who she is, and who the Jedi and Kendril saw her as. "Where's that girl?!" He slipped a hand paw to her cheek. He resisted flinching at how cold she was. "Where's the aquamarine doe eyed girl I fell in love with?"
"She's not real." She said in monotone. Her spirit was shattered. "She was made in a tube." Zeb bared his teeth in a scathing growl. "She's nothing but a fa-"
Zeb didn't mean to be so rough, but when he punched her across the face he sent her flying five feet. That broke her out of of her daze. She held her cheek, gaping amazed at the forthing Zeb. "I swear if you call yourself a fake one more time, I will break your skull apart!" Too late. Feels like it broke already. "I don't care if you're a clone, an Imperial, or even if you came as another species!" Though, being a Lasat would have been nice for their relationship. Zeb knelt to her, helping her sit to her knees. "I love you, Katerina Joyce Dume, and it really…" He's not that great at talking about his feelings. He had to ball a fist to pry what he was feeling out of him. He placed a hand to Katerina to get strength, "I don't think you realize how broken I am...because I don't know how to console you, and I don't know how to mend your bond with Kanan!" Kanan and Katerina were symbols of a brighter tomorrow for the crew. A backbone for when the crew doesn't know how to proceed. Katerina did more than just mend parts in the ship, she brought them closer. She kept Kanan on track and he her. "I care about you both, I hate seeing you fight." He put her cheeks in both of his hands, running his thumb under her black stained eyes. "But what I hate the most is...being helpless and ignorant to fix it." Katerina was only blinking, unsure what more to say. What can she say, really? "I know you're thinking because of this clone thing that's why you were able to kill those people and be depraved for so long. I don't know how to convince you otherwise that isn't true." To be honest, it's the only logical explanation. Maybe when she didn't heed the jedi kill call it found another way to surface. "But the person you were then...isn't who you are now." Everyone on that ship isn't who they were before. "You're not a clone. You're not an orphan. You're Katerina - MY Katerina." Your...Katerina...Yours...Her lips twitched. He loves me...so much...but I..."I've already lost what's precious to me once. Don't make me lose it twice. I'm begging you." He bowed his head.
Katerina wasn't sure she could refuse him. He's being so earnest to the point where he's on his knees. It killed her to see him like this. And it will kill her more...when she disappoints him for the last time. "Alright. I'm sorry." She slipped to her chest, snuggling into him. Zeb was content. Bliss washed over him as he enveloped her in his mighty arms, putting his head others. She can hear his heart beating with joy, making her stomach churn. Really I am...
xxx
After what felt like ages, the Ghost crew returned to the ship and got a good night's - technically early morning's - rest. By the time Kanan and Ezra stirred for their usual training, it was already the early afternoon. Zeb woke up feeling refreshed, if not a little badgered. Still, he hopes that yesterday's drama will have cooled down. That way he and the others can figure out how to move past this.
Zeb left his room wanting to talk to Katerina a bit. He thinks he'll soften her up with lunch first. Or breakfast and lunch. She can't be stubborn when her tummy is full. When he entered the kitchen, he was stunned still. Kanan and the others were gathered inside, corralled around the table with the most grim expressions on their faces. "What's wrong? Did something-UGH!" His eyes widened with dread. Ezra and Sabine parted somberly, feeling it wasn't their place to keep him from seeing what had them stuck at the table. They were surrounding a projector...and he didn't need long to notice...Katerina wasn't at the table. His heart skipped a beat seeing Katerina's staff beside the projector. He doesn't know what this meant...and feared what was on the projector. "Where is she?! Where's Riina?!" He demanded. Their silence...spoke volumes. She wasn't...on the ship. That projector...will confirm it.
Zeb shakily approached, his hands wavering as it drifted for the projector. He didn't want to...he can't bring himself to. Yet he activated it anyway. A small hologram of Katerina appeared. She stood meek and sheepish, fiddling with the freed long hair she usually keeps up. The regret on her face...was shocking. "Hi, Zeb, I'm sorry. I lied to you again." She admitted with soft smile, tilting her head. "Sorry to leave without saying goodbye. I can't handle those." He braced himself to the table, feeling he would collapse. "By the time you get this, I'll already be on my way back to Chandrila." Zeb was about to scream at Hera, "And before you get all huffy and tell Hera to chart a course, you should know the Empire has set up a blockade, and they are scanning every single ship - physically and virtually." Zeb's order was choked in his throat. She's as perceptive of him as ever. "It'll die down eventually…."
xxx
Mere hours ago, in Lothal's Capital, Katerina was boarding a ship with her hair tied up and viso glasses on her face. She hid herself in a cloak, but kept it open enough that no one would think she's hiding anything. Besides her pistols at her back. Stormtroopers were indeed surrounding the platform. A couple looked her way, but because she was so calm and cool they didn't give her a second glance. Her pass for travel was swiped. "When they try to scan me, I'll have a little party favor from Chopper that'll infect their systems with a nasty virus." She proceeded for the security check, spreading her arms wide. The pass she put back into her pocket had a thin microchip plant. When their scanners breezed the chip, the system suddenly shut down, erasing all data. The commotion caused the troopers to panic, and Katerina slipped onto the ship. "Nice work calling it a kamikaze, Chop. They won't be able to stop it." In order to save face, the troopers sent the ship on its way. Can't recall everyone off a shuttle to admit that their top of the line system had crashed.
"Yesterday's mission...listening to what everyone had to say...Trayvis...really opened my eyes." Katerina sat in the very back of the shuttle, curled into a ball in the corner. She watched the stars pass, then her eyes light up when they were flung into hyperspace. She thoroughly enjoys that. "I can't stay with the Ghost Crew. I can't stay with you. Not when my old habits are starting to creep up again." She slipped a hand to her back, reminding herself that she left it behind. Her staff. "For years, I never understood why killing was so easy for me. When I had to pick up my staff again, I knew I was right to be terrified." There are no regrets for her leaving it. "Because, deep down, I am a killer just like they were." She stared someberly at her gloved hands. "And, one day, should this chip in my head decide to work again, I might kill Ezra and Kanan. It was our prime directive after all."
xxx
Zeb smashed a fist to the table, directing a hateful glare at Sabine. Those were HER words! Not Katerina's! Kanan was just as guilty! He put it in her head that she can't be trusted. If it weren't for them...she would still...she wouldn't have...or would she? Hera and Ezra kept a hand to him, urging him to remain calm. "I know you, Ezra, and the others are going to be mad at me for leaving like this. And I'm sorry." She shrank away. "Tell Sabine thanks for all the paint tips, and that I finally gave her back her other paint gun. I gave it a little upgrade." Sabine went into her room and found the gun on her pillow. There was a silencer attachment. Odd. She set up a few pillows and pulled the trigger. She actually screamed when a condensed ball of paint pierced the pillows at high power. "It can shoot paintballs that'll leave the Imperials stunned, and colorful." Underneath the pillows were painter. It was...it was so...so...Sabine couldn't articulate what it was. She was crying again. AFter what she said about Katerina...she still...made this for her.
"Tell Hera I gave her blaster a small upgrade too. It can store more ammo, and there's a switch so she can turn it into a welder." Hera tested out her new upgraded pistol. It was sure to come in handy. She held it like a delicate artifact, a sad smile on her lips. "Made it from the pieces I borrowed from the welder I found." The one in the republic building before Trayvis's betrayal. She knew Hera would need something like that.
"Chopper - I managed to fix that weird buzzing he's been complaining about. Might make him more cheery." She snorted haughtily. "Not holding my breath." Chopper shook his little noggin. It really was gone. He...he wasn't expecting that.
"There are five training archives that I left for Ezra. Kept them as keepsakes from my temple days." Ezra climbed onto his top bunk, amazed by the scatter of archives."Tell him he needs to keep his back foot turned on defense, but stay on the ball on offense." Ezra popped in the first one. "He'll notice the difference."
"Kanan...I left him something too." Kanan arched a brow, going to his room. "A painful memory from when I had to wake him up." He gaped at what was on his pillow. A wrench. "He'll know the joke." He took it like a lightsaber, laughing at the memory...then sinking in misery.
"I also put in a huge order for supplies I knew you guys would need. They should arrive by the afternoon." The man delivering the supplies was really confused by the coordinates given. They literally led to nowhere. It was crazy. "And they're already paid for, and the guy delivering them is a good friend of Dom's, so don't worry." Good friend or not, the guy was really going to talk to Dominque about sending him on errands for others. He doesn't recall signing up to be an errand boy. He's going to demand hazard pay.
"Zeb...for you...it's on your nightstand." Zeb went into his room, Ezra fleed seeing he wanted to be alone. "A memento from our time on Pantora." Zeb, with a grim expression, spotted a thin plate of glass being held by a silver and gold frame, holographic leaflets glimmering with an array of lights. "It's a moment I wanted immortalized because...because..." Zeb carefully picked it up, treating it like a fragile glass flower. Katerina was choking up, going beet red as she fought her dried mouth. "It was at that moment that I knew...no matter how hard I tried not to..." Zeb pushed the button, and was stunned so harshly that the floodgates of his eyes opened wide, "I was going to fall in love with you." With tears running down his cheeks, Zeb observed a glorious moment he treasured in his heart. Fresh in both mind and heart as the day it happened. He and Katerina sitting at a lakeside, arm in arm, having shared each other's sins, sorrows, and admiration for one another. With it, Zeb was brought to his knees.
"I'll always love you, Zeb." Zeb dug at his chest, clawed at his scalp. He ground his teeth together so hard his gums started to bleed. The fur on his cheeks was soaked with his profusely flowing tears."Which is why I need to stay away. Why you need to stay away." The hologram placed a hand to her heart. With a vibrant, love field smile, she blew him a kiss from the bottom of her touched him and his mouth parted, unable to contain his cries any longer. "Goodbye...and Good luck."
Zeb punched the floor. How could she do this? How could she leave?! He...he could have helped her! One way or another, he would have helped her and Kanan! She...she should have given him a chance. But no. She took off. She ran...from him. He threw his head back, "KATERINAAA…!" His cry throughout the Ghost and out the field.
xxx
Katerina was stirred from a dead sleep, chills running down her body. Zeb?! With gaping, frightened eyes she scanned the ship, thinking there was absolutely no way Zeb was on that ship. She poked her head out, looking at every seat to see if...if he was there. He...He's not here. There was relief...and a modicum of sadness when she realized she was right. The closest thing to a Lasat was the hairy fat guy taking up a whole seating section himself. She relaxed into her seat, putting the side of her head to the window. Forgive me...She begged, and then drifted off asleep. It would be anything but peaceful as the torture of her abandoning her...her friends...would haunt her.
From a few seats ahead, a man with big glasses and a brim hat kept taking half glimpses at Katerina. She was foolish enough to remove her disguise, allowing him to compare her features to the image he had on his data pad. He snuck a finger to his ear, touching a communication device. "Inquisitor, this is LS3-005. We have eyes on the target." His partner was in the seat across the aisle from him. "It's just as you said, sir. She's on the shuttle for Chandrila. ETA 72 hours."
xxx
"Excellent. Monitor her closely." The Inquisitor praised, flying aimlessly through hyperspace. He will have arrived to Chandrila before her, able to complete his business and be gone before she even knows he was there. "Ensure she does not veer off course. If I am correct, she is going to pay a visit to an old friend of hers." If he is correct in his assumption, then he will not be the only one meeting with Senator Mon Mothma.
"Roger that, sir." The call ended.
The Inquisitor leaned back, patting himself on the back. The pieces will fall neatly into place, and the rebels, the Jedi, and the clone will be snared neatly in his trap. And it is all thanks to the Jedi...and his cloned baby sister. "How treacherous family is…" He purred.
To be continued