Author's note:

Dear readers,

another extra long update for you to enjoy. Sadly, I will only be able to update my story twice weekly till the start of April, because I will have to write two study papers before then. I'm really sorry, but I can't change it. From now on, I want to follow the stories of our main characters (Severus, Olivia, Orion, Eileen, Regulus, Sirius) chronologically. I hope that you will like that different style. If you would prefer to read little heartbreak snippets about another character, please leave me a message and I will think about it. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You are truly awesome.

Have a nice day,

Vani12

Chapter 10 – Heartbreaks can blind you to future unhappiness!

Living Room, Prince Manor, December 1978

Eileen loved the Yule time of the year. She decorated the whole manor with Yule knick-knack, invited her loved ones to a festive dinner and gifted them with a mix of self-made and bought gifts. She regretted that she had never been able to celebrate Yule or Christmas with Severus when he had been a child or teen. Tobias had hated the Christmas spirit and forbidden his family to cook a festive meal, buy gifts or put up a Christmas tree. Eileen had been too defeated by her flight from the Wizarding world, her lost love and Tobias's abusive behavior that she hadn't tried to make Yule special for her beloved son. She realized that she had been a neglected, bad mum for her little prince for a long time, for she hadn't left Tobias and let him control their lives. If he had wanted to be the Grinch and forget all about Christmas, she would treat her favorite holiday as if it was just like any other day. She had felt depressed without her magic and friends/family. And although she had had a little sunshine to take care of, Eileen had lost her energy to fight back and spark for life.

If she was totally honest with herself, she had known from the start that her relationship with Tobias Snape would end in a disaster. But she had been pregnant and alone in a new world, heartbroken and helpless, and had grasped after Tobias's outstretched hand as if it had been her only chance to survive. She had rented a room at a hostel for three weeks in Muggle Soho thanks to her trust fund money that she had debited from her Gringotts vault and changed into pounds on the morning of her escape and found a low-paid job at a London bookstore to distract herself and blend in her new Muggle life. She had known that the months ahead would be tough for her and that she couldn't use her wand, for the Ministry of Magic would be able to trace her wand's signature. She had been a pregnant nineteen-year-old teen who missed her parents, longed to be in the arms of her one true love, Orion Black, again and buried all of her dreams. She would never be Mrs. Orion Black, a world-renown Potions Mistress and live a life full of happiness and love. The evil bitch Walburga had chased her away from the Wizarding world with her death threats on Orion and net of lies. She realized in retrospective that she should have had a backbone and stood up to Walburga's threats. She should have gone to the Aurors, reported Walburga for her death threats, illegal use of potions and cruel blackmail and replied to Orion's letters and Patronus messages with the truth.

But she had been petrified, desolate and hopeless, thus she had followed Walburga's rules like a submissive dog. Merlin, she had played the happy fiancée of Abraxas Malfoy on multiple society events, given an inclusive interview to the Daily Prophet in which she gushed about the love of her life, Abraxas, and her happiness, and ventured designer boutiques to shop for her perfect wedding dress instead of facing Orion and giving a fight to Walburga. She had returned Orion's letters unopened with a heavy heart, ignored his Patronus messages which were delivered by a sad-looking, apparitional Thunderbird and tightened her grip on Abraxas's arm whenever she had seen her lost love. She hadn't been able to look him in his sapphire eyes, for she had been afraid that his baby blues flashing with disgust, hurt, betrayal and hatred would cut her to the quick. She had nearly broken down into a sobbing, heartbroken mess when she had seen him for the first time after the horrible crash down of their romance. She had only managed to keep a cold face thanks to her inherited Occlumency shields and her fear of signing his death sentence if she had caused a public scene.

Orion had looked so downcast, heartbroken and sad that her heart had shattered into a million pieces for him. Hell, he had been lured in a trap to bed his insane female cousin, impregnate her and marry her. Besides that, he believed that his one true love had cheated on him with a Pure-blood aristocrat, played him with fake love declarations and was marrying his rival. He must have felt like a love-sick fool, cursed her name and tried to cut every happy memory out of his brain and every loved-up feeling out of his heart. Eileen had only stayed shortly at this events, chatted and danced with her fiancé for an hour before she stated a migraine as her reason for leaving the charity event early. Abraxas had looked worriedly at her ashen face, wished her to get well soon and kissed her sweetly on the head as a good-bye. She had refused his offer to take her home and call her a healer and voiced that she would apparate to her chambers at Prince Manor straight away, take some Migraine Relief Potion and lay down. She would only need sleep and silence to feel better. He should stay behind and enjoy his free evening.

It had been so hard to play Abraxas for he had been sweet to her, fulfilled every single one of her wishes and confessed that he could see himself falling deeply in love with her. Eileen had felt like a heartless bitch whenever she had mumbled in a dazed, happy-sounding voice that she couldn't wait to marry him, be Mrs. Malfoy and consummate their love. Although Abraxas Malfoy might have had a shady reputation regarding his practice of the Dark Arts, he had always treated her like a true gentleman and cared deeply for his son. She had wanted to be a loving step-mum to Lucius, deluded herself into thinking that she would come to love Abraxas with time and that she would be able to fulfill all of her teenage dreams, but the discovery of her pregnancy had changed everything. She hadn't been able to seduce Abraxas, make him believe that he was the father of her baby and fake a preterm birth. Eileen had realized that her child wouldn't inherit the Malfoy features - their white-blonde hair and silver-grey eyes. And she hadn't been able to conceal her little one's true paternity with some Blood-Adoption-Potion and Physical-Features-Altering Spell, for she had respected and liked Abraxas too much to lie to him for her entire life.

Thus, Eileen had debited her money in her Gringotts vault, changed it into pounds and left Prince Manor with her Hogwarts trunk full of her most treasured personal items. She had put an Undetectable Extension Charm on her beloved school trunk and packed it to the hilt. Her favorite clothes, most valuable Potions and Dark Arts tomes, traveling potions cabinet, most favorite books, Hogwarts school books, gifted jewelry from her parents, beloved Gobstones set, Orion's talisman and promise ring as well as a box full with happy pictures of them and love letters had joined her on her journey into the Muggle world. Due to her fascination with Muggle culture and her trips into the Muggle world, she had blended in well in her first few weeks. But she had realized that she couldn't stay in her hostel room forever and a hostel wasn't a place to raise a child. Thus, she had searched for an affordable, small flat in a family-friendly neighborhood in London but sadly couldn't find anything in the local newspapers. She had grown more desperate with every passing week, but she had decided to focus on her health and the health of her little one. Thus, she had visited a kind gynecologist for regular check-ups and used her innate knack for wandless magic to monitor her child's heartbeat daily with a spell.

It had calmed her nerves and soothed her broken heart to hear the regular, loud heartbeat of Orion's and her lovechild. In her darkest hours, she had held her hand over her little bump, spoke the Ultrasound Spell and listened with teary eyes to her child's rhythmic heartbeat. It had been the most beautiful sound in the world that warmed her heart and gave her new hope. She had realized that she was fighting for her unborn child and protecting him from the evil clutches of Walburga. Naturally, she had cried bitter tears because she couldn't share these precious moments in their little one's life with the love of her life. But she had vowed that she would try everything to give him a happy, safe and nice life. Thank Merlin, her little one had been healthy, developed nicely and grown safely in her belly. To distract herself from her fears and loneliness, Eileen had decided to visit a new London Art gallery. She had wanted to lift her spirits and enjoy seeing some beautiful art pieces, for they always reminded her of everything good and beautiful in the world.

In retrospective, Eileen shouldn't have gone to the art exhibition, because she met the art-enthusiastic Muggle again that had given Orion the creeps. He had warned her that she shouldn't chat friendly with him because he was a pervy Muggle with a filthy mind. Eileen had acted on his warning and ignored him whenever she visited an art exhibition. It had been creepy as hell to see him on every vernissage, gazing at her with his mysterious emerald eyes and trying to engage her in a discussion about art. Although she hadn't detected the dark vibes that Orion would get from him, she had felt as if he x-rayed her in his one-sided art lectures and wanted to woo her with his art expertise. She had wanted to ignore him, but in her heartbroken, lonely and hopeless state, she hadn't left when he approached her again. Eileen had listened to his interpretation of a colorful painting with a blue eye, flower, and deer with rapt attention because she had been able to focus her thoughts on something ordinary and beautiful. Besides that, his husky baritone had been incredibly soothing and the art-obsessed girl in herself couldn't stop but admire him for his feeling for art. Furthermore, Tobias Snape had smiled at her friendly, asked her if she was feeling alright and cheered her up with some jokes. He had invited her on a coffee and chocolate muffin and Eileen hadn't had the strength to say "no", because she had been hungry and her little one had a weird craving for chocolate.

Thus, she had walked with him into a café, took a seat on a cozy two-seat table and enjoyed her chocolate muffin and milk coffee. Tobias had talked about his work as a Muggle engineer at a big electro company in London, how much he missed his hometown Manchester and how proud his widowed mum was of her accomplished son. He had joked that he loved London for its vibrant art scene and multiple football clubs, but he missed the industrial flair of Manchester and the delicious Lamb stew of his mum. He wanted to move back to Manchester in a couple of months, for his electro company had an open job offer there and he needed to look after his lonely mum who was struggling with Multiple Sclerosis. Eileen had listened to his life story with rapt attention, but she hadn't been able to understand what he talked about for the most part. She had never found out what a Muggle engineer did and wasn't acquainted with the Muggle disease Multiple Sclerosis. And she only knew what football was, because Orion had loved to visit some matches of a club called "Arsenal London" on his trips to the Muggle world. She had even gone to two matches with him because she had loved to see his sparkling blue eyes, beaming smile and raised arms whenever Arsenal scored a goal. Eileen wasn't a sports enthusiast, but she loved to see her one true love's eyes light up like a kid in a candy store.

Tobias had noticed her sad expression and inquired if she was feeling alright. Eileen had wiped away some stray tears and answered that it was a tough time for her right now because she had had a bad break-up, challenging new job and taxing move in the last couple of weeks. She had only recently moved to London from her parent's house in Suffolk and had only been able to afford a hostel room from her savings and low-paid job. She was desperately searching for an affordable small flat, but nothing came up. Tobias had solaced her, encouraged her that she would find new love again, blend into her new working place and gain a foothold in London. He had said that he couldn't believe that some fool would break her heart because she seemed like a kind, intelligent and beautiful young woman. He had ranted about the stupidity of the male species and voiced that her ex-boyfriend hadn't deserved her. Eileen hadn't been able to suppress her heart-wrenching sobs there for she knew deep down in her bones that Orion was her one true love and that their breakup had been a result of the evil bitch Walburga's schemes. Besides that, it had hurt to listen to some Muggle man painting the love of her life and dad of her little one in dark colors. Orion hadn't deserved this. A tiny voice in Eileen's head had screamed at her to rip into this art-crazy Muggle and run for her life, but she had been too exhausted and sad to lash out at him. Tobias had only been nice and tried to boost her self-confidence by badmouthing her ex-boyfriend after all.

Thus, she had let him soothe her with gentle caresses on her back and sweet whispered nothingness into her ear. Tobias had vowed to always be there for her and offered her a room in his two-bedroom flat in central Muggle London for an affordable rent. In the back of her mind, Eileen had known that it wasn't such a good idea to move in with a complete male stranger, especially someone her one true love Orion had despised and hexed with a Stinging Hex. But she had longed to blend into the Muggle world, have a friend and find a better home than her hostel room. Hence, she had thanked him for his generosity and accepted his offer with a blush. They had walked to her hostel room to pack together her personal items and she had moved into Tobias's small, tidy two-bedroom flat on the same day. Over the following weeks, she had started to warm up to Tobias and trust him. Orion must have been blinded by jealousy, for Tobias had been a humorous, intelligent and sweet roommate. He would buy her a milk coffee and a chocolate muffin in a near bakery every morning before they had to go to work, lend her some of his Muggle literature books, watch romantic TV series with her and sometimes even surprise her with some self-cooked dinners. Besides that, he would keep up with their cleaning schedule and tidy up behind himself. Tobias would cheer her up with some funny jokes, hilarious stories of his youth and some trips to London Art galleries. He had comforted her when she had cried bitter tears over her romance gone bad, brewed her a herbal tea when she had been plagued by her morning sickness and complimented her on her new glow.

On a warm summer evening in August, he had confessed to her that he had fallen in love with her and desired to kiss her. Eileen had been overwhelmed by his confession because her heart still belonged to Orion. But she had to admit that she liked Tobias, could see herself loving him over time and wanted to give a relationship between them a try. Thus, she had returned his tender kisses and voiced that she would love to make a romance work between them. Before they could test out the waters between them, she had needed to make a confession that would probably change his mind about her. She had stated in a calm voice that she was four months pregnant and would welcome her little one into the world in early January. She knew that she couldn't ask of him to care for her and her child, but the father was out of the picture and she intended to raise her little one on her own. Hence, he would be inevitably confronted with her pregnancy and motherhood if she stayed his roommate. She acknowledged that it hadn't been fair of her to move in with him and raise his hopes of a romance between them while keeping mum about her pregnancy. Unwedded single mums were shunned in their society and she could understand if he would throw her out and break off their friendship. Tobias had regarded her with a stunned look, uttered that he was a little disappointed that she hadn't been honest with him from the start, but had vowed that her pregnancy wouldn't change a single one of his feelings.

He had fallen in love with her, longed to call her his and build a happy future together. He would love her child as his own because it was a piece of her. He had embraced her tightly, stroked her little bump slightly and mumbled with sparkling eyes that her little bean would undoubtedly be a beautiful, intelligent and sweet child thanks to her genes. Tobias had promised to protect them from any harm and proposed a marriage between them to allow their little bean an easier life. He hadn't wanted that their child was shunned as a bastard on the playground and since he hadn't been able to have children of his own due to a childhood disease, he had wanted to give all of his love to her child and raise him/her as his own. He had confessed that he liked children, has always wished to nurture a little one into a happy, intelligent and self-conscious human being and regarded her unplanned pregnancy as a gift to fulfill his shattered dreams. Besides that, they could move as a family to Manchester, live in a nice, upper-middle-class four-bedroom house thanks to his well-paid job as an engineer and Eileen could be a stay at home mum and educate their child. Eileen had been shocked by his practical marriage proposal, but she hadn't been able to deny the logic of his words. They could even save taxes as a married couple and she could blend in fully into her Muggle life if she was married to a Muggle and lived in suburban Manchester. The evil she-devil Walburga would never be able to find her and her child and they could start fresh in the Muggle world.

Although Eileen had only desired to marry Orion, she knew that this was an impossible dream, because he was already married and with his first child on the way. Besides that, she would risk his and their love child's life, if she returned into the Magical world. Thus, Eileen had accepted Tobias's unorthodox marriage proposal, thanked him for his love and generosity and promised to open up her heart for him. Deep down in her bones, Eileen had known that she could only love him as a close friend, because Orion was her one true love and that it had been wrong of her to accept his marriage proposal without informing him about the Magical world and her feelings for Orion. But she had calmed her bad conscience by citing that she no longer belonged into the Magical world and would only confuse Tobias with her talks about magic. She had known that most Muggles feared wizards and witches because they felt to be at their mercy due to their unbelievable powers. They weren't able to protect themselves against their spells, charms, and hexes and feared to be controlled by wizards and witches. Hence, she wouldn't alarm Tobias with her magical powers. He would come to love her and her child. And if her child was magical she would have to come clean with the existence of magic and the Magical world and hope that Tobias would be openminded about it.

A tiny scathing voice had screamed in Eileen's head that she was mad for leading Tobias own and lying to him about her magical powers. She knew that her child would have magical powers, for she was able to sense his magical core inside of her body. Thus, her lies would inevitably backfire at her at some points in the future and she could only hope that Tobias could forgive her. Tobias and Eileen had moved to Manchester within a month, married in a private ceremony where only Tobias's close family and friends were present – Eileen had uttered to her lovely mother-in-law, Mary Snape, that she was an orphan from Suffolk who had lost her parents in a fire recently – and purchased a nice, four-bedroom home with a huge garden in suburban Manchester. Tobias had refurbished a lovely nursery painted in a friendly, warm yellow with a starry sky bordure with his old oak crib, oak diaper changing table, oak closet, and oak shelves. They had ventured into lovely baby stores and bought tons of adorable baby clothes, baby shoes, baby toys, and stuffed animals. Tobias had even tinkered a sweet crib mobile with different constellations. Eileen had cried when she had seen it, stroked her seven months baby bump lovingly and kissed Tobias sweetly on the cheek. She had come to love him over the last months, although she still was in love with Orion. She hadn't been able to fathom that Tobias would choose constellations to decorate her baby's nursery, but she had loved it because it had created a connection between her child and the Blacks.

She had realized that she couldn't name her child after a constellation because it would be too weird for Muggles if her child was named Corvus, Perseus, Lyra or Cassiopeia. If she was called Mrs. Black now, happily married to the love of her life and expecting their first child, she would name it Corvus Orion Black for a boy or Cassiopeia Lyra Black for a girl. But Eileen had known that her child could never be connected to the Blacks, it would be too risky if her child wandered through Hogwarts sporting a constellation name and alert Walburga to her, thus she had decided to name her child Severus Tobias Snape if it was a boy or Livia Mary Snape if it was a girl to honor her loving husband. He would buy her multiple chocolate muffins a day, massage her swollen feet and accompany her to every doctor's appointment, holding her hand gently and gazing with wonder in his eyes on the ultrasound monitor.

Tobias had been the definition of a happy, caring and excited expectant dad and she had wanted to name their child after famous Muggle emperor from Roman history because Tobias was obsessed with their life stories. She had decided to honor him or her mother-in-law in the second name of their child because they had gifted her a chance at a happy Muggle life. She had given birth to her little prince, Severus Tobias Snape, after an exhausting ten-hours-childbirth but had forgotten her pains the minute she had gazed at his thick tuft of ebony curls, porcelain skin, and chocolate brown eyes. She had fallen in love with her baby boy at first sight, admired his inherited facial features of Orion and the strong grip of his tiny fingers. She had known that his eyes would most likely darken into her obsidian ones and that his facial features would mature into a carbon copy of Orion's.

Albeit it had broken her heart, she had changed his facial features slightly with her inherited wandless magic to resemble her husband more. She had cast a slight bump on his nose, mellowed his angular facial features and thinned his plumb lips with some tears in her eyes. Eileen had felt awful for erasing Orion's features out of their son's face, but she couldn't risk having an onyx-eyed, ebony-haired carbon copy of Orion Black run through Hogwarts in eleven years. Due to her strong wandless Disguising Charm, Severus would grow into his enchanted physical features. It could only be lifted by her or her death. Tobias had been a loving hands-on-dad to Severus until he had shown his first outbursts of accidental magic as a four months old baby. From then onwards, her happy, simple Muggle life had turned into hell. And Eileen regretted till today that she hadn't had the courage to leave Tobias sooner and protect her son better.

Eileen was interrupted from her trip down memory lane by an activated Floo call. In the glowing briquettes of her fireplace appeared the happy smiling face of Regulus Black. She was stunned how much he resembled Orion whenever she saw him and regretted that she couldn't inform him and Severus of their close relation. These two were thick as thieves, loved each other deeply and gave her a heart attack with their adventurous trips into the Muggle world, boyish pranks and fight against Lord Voldemort. She wished that she could reveal to them that they were brothers, but she feared the consequences of her actions. She knew that Severus would be livid and feel betrayed. He would question if his whole life had been a lie and rip into her for her selfish decision to conceal his true identity. Besides that, she would most likely have to face Orion again and she couldn't face him as a broken shell of her former self and throw this bombshell in front of his feet. She wasn't ready to see her love again. Thus, she kept her secret and calmed her bad conscience by stating that Regulus and Severus were already treating each other like brothers.

She walked in front of her fireplace, hunkered down and asked her son's best mate in a pleasantly surprised tone, "Regulus, I'm happy to see you again. To what do I owe your surprise Floo call? I hope you have survived Severus's wedding party without a major hangover." Severus's best man smirked slyly at her and replied, "I have cured my splitting headache with your marvelous Hangover Potion. Say what you want about Prince Potions, but you Princes know how to cure the side-effects of a hard party. But I guess getting smashed at your best friend's wedding is in the job definition of a good best man. I trust that you are already in high spirits for your next family party, your famous Yule dinner, and have dried your flows of happy tears already, Eileen. I must disturb you on this beautiful winter day to plot some plan for Severus's birthday party with you. Olivia, Camille and I want to surprise him with a huge party in a fancy club in New York. Can I come through the Floo network to discuss the details with you?", the Black heir asked with a smug grin.

Eileen noded ones and shook her ebony locks with a happy laugh on her lips. She liked that her son had matured into such a strong, accomplished and kind young man and loved that he had loved ones around him that showed their love for him openly with a surprise party. Thus, she opened up her Floo connection to Grimmauld Place and answered in a joyful voice, "I have opened the Floo connection for you, Regulus. You can step through the flames with some Floo powder and Prince Manor in mind. I can't wait to hear everything about your birthday plans for Severus. I'm sure he is gonna love it and we could all need another happy party in these dark times." Eileen ended her statement on a somber note. She really wished that Voldemort and his evil Death Eaters had already been defeated. Lost in her dark thoughts, she hadn't noticed how someone stepped through her fireplace. A bone-crushing hug, the familiar scent of bergamot, geranium, and cedarwood and a husked "Eileen" brought her back into reality. She couldn't believe her senses as she gazed in the beautiful sapphire irises of her one true love. Shocked, she could only utter a perplex, "Orion?".