Author's note:

Dear readers,

another long chapter for you to enjoy. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. It warms my heart. ;) Sadly, I will only be able to update this story once a week on Tuesdays till early April, because my study papers aren't progressing as fast as I would like, ugh.

Have a nice day,

Vani12

Chapter 12 – Heartbreaks can be mended by your one true love, II!

Living Room, Prince Manor, December 1978

Orion felt as if he had been hit by a Stunning Hex. "Severus is my son? Why didn't Eileen contact me? Why doesn't he resemble me one bit? Merlin, I have spent dinners with my own son without knowing it. Why didn't I sense anything? There must be something in my heart or magical code that should have altered me of my close relation to the socially awkward, angry and neglected teen. I should have felt that he was more to me than the son of my lost true love and Regulus' best friend. Hell, my son grew up in tattered clothes, without love and happiness, suffering on the hands of a Muggle brute who tormented his wife and child with his brutal fists, sharp tongue, and magic-hating aura. A Black heir reduced to being bullied at Hogwarts due to his social awkwardness and poverty and feeling like a dark freak in the Muggle world? I feel for his dark fate, I'm overjoyed that Eileen managed to break free of her fears and her abuse in the end and that Severus came out on top of his tormentors and haters. Damn, my son is now married to the beautiful Fawley heiress, excelling in his studies in Potions, Spellcasting and Defense Against the Dark Arts and giving the Order an advantage in the war against Voldemort with his spells, training, and potions. I can't wait to meet him," Orion thought with a sly smile.

Orion was pulled out of his mind by Eileen's miserable sobs. Merlin, she hugged herself in an embryonic position beside him and called herself a monster. Sure, she had made terrible mistakes in the past and it cost him nearly twenty years of his son's life, but she wasn't a heartless, cunning wrench. She had let herself be ruled by her fears and Walburga's threats and although a tiny part in his heart was livid at her for sabotaging their happily ever after with her silence and escape in the Muggle world, he wanted to kiss her better. "Shit, what an utter idiot am I that I smile proudly at my son's achievements while ignoring his mum's despair? I need to console her now before she sinks deeper into her self-loathing and self-pity," the Black patriarch scolded himself harshly. He approached Eileen silently, took her in his arms and caressed her back gently.

He whispered into her ear, "Eileen, you aren't a monster. Yes, you lied to Severus and me about our relation and couldn't protect him against this abusive bastard, but you never lied to us out of spite or vengeance. You believed that you could only protect him and me if you kept his paternity secret and altered his looks. I will be honest with you. My heart breaks for all the shit you two had to endure and I'm angry that you didn't have the courage and trust in me to inform me earlier of his existence, but I could never hate you and hold a grudge against you for long. I love you and you are the mother of my son, thus, you have given me the most beautiful gift in the world – to be a dad to a brave, intelligent and tough young man. Hell, I wish that I could have been a dad to Severus during his unhappy childhood and difficult teenage years. I wish that I could have been there to hold back your hair above the toilet bowl whenever our little bean urged you to vomit, to massage your swollen ankles on our sofa whenever our little bean bugged you with his weight and to purchase your favorite foods whenever our little bean forced you to give in to some weird cravings. I desire that I could have been present at your doctor's appointments to hear his steady heartbeat and see him grow in your belly or at his birth to hold your hand and encourage you with sweet words during your exhausting, crucial childbirth.

"I would have given everything to hold him in my arms for the first time, gazing in his onyx eyes and admiring his strong grip on my finger. I missed so much. His first steps, first smile, first words, first outbursts of accidental magic and sparkling onyx eyes when he received his Hogwarts letter. I would have loved to read bedtime stories to him, experience magical adventures with him and celebrate him for his genius in Potions and DADA. Salazar, he could probably outduel me at any minute. But I can't blame you for your decision to conceal his true paternity. You were afraid that Walburga would harm him and I wouldn't put it behind the she-devil to kill an innocent toddler only to shred my heart and destroy our family. The evil bitch certainly hates me enough to kill my lovechild. You are not responsible for every tragedy in our lives, Eileen. Naturally, you should have left this Muggle arsehole a long time ago, reconnected with your parents and informed me about my son's existence, but our fears, insecurities and mental trauma can sometimes freeze us.

"I love you and can't wait to find out everything about our son. Sure, I know him through Regulus, but I can't wait to get to know the real Severus. Has he inherited your quirks to drink your coffee with lots of milk or to scribble his ideas in the margin of his books? Has he inherited your love for Muggle literature or your bad habit to sort your closet by color? Has he inherited my quirks to learn by creating silly rhymes inside of his head or to speak with a set of runes whenever he sees it? Has he inherited my love for football or my bad habit to rush into danger without looking out for himself? How does he look without his glamours in place? Does he have my angular facial features, curly hair or sly smile? What does he love to do and what does he hate to do? What are his dreams for the future? Hell, you must show me every milestone that I have missed in a Pensieve. I can't wait to see your belly swollen with him, stroking our little bean lovingly due to some strong kicks and smiling like a true goddess due to the love that you feel for him. I can't wait to see you teaching spells and potions recipes to him, gazing proudly at him due to his fast learning ability and raw magical powers. I bet that he is the most talent potioner in the world and that you two will invent many potions at Prince Potions to cure the maladies of others.

"Regulus gushes about his grace in duels, his creativity in inventing his own spells – I even use one of his spells, Muffliato, to secure my business talks from prying ears – and his blissfully happy romance with Olivia Fawley. Reggie will be overjoyed to hear that Severus is his brother in blood. His best mate turns out to be his long lost brother, Reggie will be over the moon! He admires Severus for his undying ability to love despite his bad childhood experiences, his unyielding ability to fight for his loved ones, dreams and a Wizarding world in peace and his unbending ability to upstage his adversaries. I know from the many owls that I have received during Sirius' time at Hogwarts that he used to prank and bully Severus mercilessly with his friends. Believe me, I have lashed out more than once at him that Blacks aren't some cruel, merciless bullies who enjoy seeing other people wither in pain or cry out in tears. Sometimes, I fear that he is traumatized by his she-devil mum's abuse, thinks that he is worthless and evil due to his gene pool and screams for my attention by being the reckless Gryffindor bad boy and an insane loose cannon. I try to reassure him that his genes don't determine his personality. Even though his biological parents are sadistic, insane Voldemort worshippers, it doesn't mean that he will turn dark. But I sometimes fear nonetheless that Sirius destroys himself due to his fears to turn dark and succumbs to the infamous Black madness.

"I have arranged some therapy sessions form him during the summer after the Whomping Willow incident. Merlin, he has nearly gotten my son killed by a werewolf out of jealousy, boredom, teenage stupidity, and malice. I could rip off his head knowing that I could have never met my son if it wasn't for James Potter's actions. Thanks to the weekly talks with some magical therapist, the support of his friends and a new honesty between us, Sirius mental and emotional health has improved significantly over the years. Hell, he has even promised me to stop his bullying, apologize to Severus and focus on being a better person, but I still fear for him because he tends to cope with his trauma by partying and shagging around. It will be a tough blow for him to find out that his Slytherin nemesis and favorite bully victim is my biological son. It is a sore spot for him that he isn't a Black heir by blood. Naturally, I tried to dispel his insecurities and fears of being loved less by stating that I love him as my own, but the feeling that he isn't enough and I love Reggie more is still nagging in the back of his mind. I can only hope that he won't turn against Severus, detest him for being my son and restart the bad blood between them, for they are both fighting for the Order and the Order can't be divided and intermingled in inner trench warfare. In Sirius' logic, the fact that my one true love gave birth to Severus will only manifest that I love him more.

"Salazar, this is all so fucked up. I wish that we could use a time turner, travel back to the spring of 1959 and elope in secrecy before the wicked bitch's plans fucked our lives up. But this wouldn't be right for I wouldn't be happy in a world where not all of my three sons were alive. Thus, I will do everything in my power to get to know my son, establish a close father-son-bond with him and make sure that my sons won't rent each other. I have lost so much time with him and you, and I won't miss anything in his life from now on. You could never be a monster to me, Eileen. You gifted me with the vision of a happy future full of love, peace, and bliss in the middle of a huge family. I love you and Severus and can't wait to call him my son." Orion looked at Eileen with sparkling sapphire eyes, soothed her still trembling body with soft caresses and kissed her gently on her head. Thankfully, his honest words and the love in his eyes had calmed Eileen down somewhat so that her sobs had died down.

She gazed at him in wonder, tightened their embrace and breathed in his familiar scent. "Why am I so lucky to be loved by such a gentle and forgiving soul? I don't deserve Orion's comfort and love. I have kept his son's existence secret for nearly twenty years, surrendered my little prince to a life of poverty, abuse, and social awkwardness and lied to him about his identity. Hell, whenever he begged me with bitter tears to leave his bastard of a father after he had beaten my eye black again or locked away his magical books, I lied him straight in the face by stating that I couldn't leave Tobias because he was my one true love and would change for the better. Seeing his obsidian eyes flash with a mix of anger, pity, and disappointment and sensing his embrace loosen around my waist, I hated myself for my lies, unhappy life and cowardice. What mother sacrifices her son's happiness for her fears, hurt pride and deceit? I love my little prince with every fiber of my heart and want to protect him against all evil, but I have nearly driven him into a downward spiral. If Sirius had succeeded in getting my boy killed or bitten by a werewolf, would I have confessed to Orion that his son had gotten his brother killed or infected with lycanthropy? I want to believe that I would have come clean to my one true love then, crying that his firstborn son had killed his brother or turned him into a werewolf and accusing him of raising a monster. But I doubt it. Most likely, I would have buried my boy's corpse in silence and killed myself without disclosing my secrets. Or I would have tried to lessen the pain during his transformations with some potions and curse the Black boy with a wandless, nonverbal Unhappiness Curse. I'm such a pathetic coward, but I vow to make up for my mistakes by telling Orion everything about our son and showing him every milestone of his life before I will reconnect them. Severus will certainly try to cut me out of his life for my lies," a downcast Eileen continued to beat herself up in her mind.

But she gathered all of her strength, calmed her buzzing mind and escalating heartbeat and faced Orion with a teary-eyed smile. He wanted to welcome her back into his life and get to know his son. Oh boy, she would gladly gush about their little prince for some hours and give his dad a better picture of him before they dropped the bombshell of his true identity on him. Thus, Eileen took a deep breath, floated her mind with happy memories of her son and pecked Orion gently on the cheek. She uttered in a dazed, happy voice, "I can't fathom how I deserve your love, Orion. But I will accept it as my light in a pool of darkness and promise you to love you to the moon and back. Your anger at my deceptive acts is quite deserved and I can't thank you enough for your endless ability to forgive me for my secrecy and stupidity. Hell, if your son had succeeded in getting Severus killed by his lycanthropy-infected friend, I would have turned his life into a living hell before ending my life because I couldn't live without my little prince. I understand now that Sirius might have suffered from an identity crisis, childhood trauma, jealousy, and house prejudices, but it doesn't excuse his merciless bullying of our sweet boy.

"I will certainly give him a lashing when I see him next, for I should have defended our son ages ago. I realize that he is grown-up now, married to the love of his life and long past his Hogwarts years. But his bullying experiences will always scar his soul. And I can't forgive your son this easily for it. After I had lost you, Severus was my only hope in a world of despair. Merlin, I leeched on our little bump as the proof of our love and my only connection to you. I would monitor his heartbeat and movings with some wandless spells and talk to him about our romance. He was my little sunshine in a foreign world and I promised our little bump to protect him against the evil bitch Walburga. I cried myself to sleep missing you badly and caressing our little bump to feel close to you and be comforted. I sometimes dreamed that you would be next to me on my next doctor's appointment or teach our child how to fly gracefully through the air, but I knew that these dreams were only some pipedreams. I forced myself to move on from the Wizarding world, blend into the Muggle world and build a life for our lovechild and me. I deluded myself into thinking that marriage to Tobias Snape would be the solution to all of my problems. At the time we got close, I was working in a Muggle bookstore as a low-paid help, sleeping for low rent in his second bedroom and becoming his friend. I confessed to him that I was pregnant by another man and that I didn't know if I could return his love with all my heart due to my romance gone bad.

"He claimed in a sincere tone that he had fallen in love with me, would raise my child as his own and would provide a comfortable life in the suburbs of Manchester for us. He had a well-paid job as a Muggle engineer, treated me sweetly and fulfilled my every wish in my pregnancy. We married in the autumn of 1959 in a low-key ceremony to meet the expectations of society and look like the picture perfect little family. God, I choose Severus' name to show him my gratitude for his love and care for he had been the perfect, loving expectant daddy. He was obsessed with Roman history, thus I named our son Severus Tobias Snape. In retrospective, I regret that I haven't given him a name that continued the Blacks' tradition to name their children after constellations and named him after his childhood tormentor instead. I loved the name Corvus and would have been overjoyed to name our little prince Corvus Orion. But I couldn't tie him to you due to his name or looks, thus I decided to honor my caring husband by naming our son after him. Although I would have liked to have Tobias' support during my exhausting ten-hours-childbirth, I was grateful that the Muggle hospital St. Mary in Manchester didn't allow expectant dads into the delivery room because they would disturb their work with their dramatics. And it would have been wrong if Tobias had held my hand tightly and encouraged me with sweet words to cope with my pain and bring our little bundle of joy into the world. Thus, I was the first one to hold our little prince and calm his cries with gentle touches.

"He was born at 11.30 a.m. on a beautiful, snowy and sunny winter Saturday weighing 8lbs 2oz and measuring 22in and fell in love at first sight with his warm chocolate brown eyes, thick tuft of ebony curls and full rosy lips. Although he had inherited my porcelain skin, ebony hair and dark eyes, his angular facial features, curls, and plump lips looked like a carbon copy of your face. Thus, I used my wandless magic with bitter tears in my eyes to alter the physical looks of our prince. He couldn't start at Hogwarts looking like you with ebony hair and obsidian eyes, hence, I cast some glamours on him that could only be lifted by my magic or my death. I cast a slight bump on his little snub nose, slimmed the richness of his lips, straightened his curls and mellowed his angular facial features. It broke my heart to erase your resemblance from his face, but I couldn't help myself. I was terrified that the evil witch would somehow find us, see his resemblance to you and harm him as a baby or young student at Hogwarts. I rocked him gently in my arms singing an old Irish lullaby and basking in the warmth of his soft baby skin and the rhythm of his regular breaths. I sensed that he would turn out to be a powerful wizard because I felt a new light brighten my life and his magical energies trying to block my glamours. Merlin, I had been able to feel his strong magical core in my belly because I was able to perform wandless Levitation Charms more easily and Summoning Charms more efficiently during my pregnancy.

"When his tiny hand gripped my finger strongly and he latched on to my breast, I promised him to always protect him against all evil and love him to the moon and back. After the nurse had left to guide Tobias into the room to meet his son, I whispered inside his ear that his real daddy was a charming, kind and adventure-seeking man in the Magical world who loved him with every fiber of his heart. I vowed that we would meet him someday and that he could be his true self again when the danger was over. Tobias loved him to bits in his first months, showered him with affection and read bedtime stories to him. He changed his nappies and played Peek-a-boo with him, but when Severus was roughly four months old he started to fear him. A terrified Tobias had rushed into the kitchen stating that something was wrong with our baby for he levitated his cuddly toy, a dark raven that I named Corvus, through his nursery and lightened the stars on his crib mobile. He feared that he was possessed by a mean spirit and was shocked by my proud smile, happy chuckle and bold statement, "Nothing is wrong with him, Tobias. He only had his first outburst of accidental magic. He is going to be such a powerful wizard."

"Tobias accused me of going barmy when I informed him of the existence of the Magical world, mine and Severus' magical powers and the workings of the Ministry of Magic. He mumbled that magic didn't exist and that I wanted to prank him. He urged me to bring Severus to a mind healer and cure his possession. As a pious Catholic, he had read about the workings of evil demons and the devil and wanted to rescue our baby. When I accioed an apple into my hand to show him that magic was real, he went berserk and accused me of being possed by the devil, infecting our son with my crazy ideas and luring him like a black widow in my net of lies and evils. His heart turned ice-cold towards Severus and me and he started to numb his confusion, disbelief, and feelings of betrayal and inferiority in alcohol and cruel rantings. He forbade me to tell Severus stories of the Magical world because he realized that I believed in the existence of dragons, unicorns, fairies, and mermaids and entertained our baby with the adventures of the Magical world.

"When I informed him of the fact that Severus was a wizard due to the magical heritage of his biological parents, Tobias laughed into my face and uttered that my ex-boyfriend must have been a drug-addicted, crazy devil-worshipper who enchanted me with his delusions. I jumped up from my chair to defend you, called him a blind Muggle and shouted that you were a kind, intelligent and powerful wizard from an old magical family who would smile proudly at Severus' first outbursts of accidental magic. On that day, he backhanded me for the first time and insulted me as a good-for-nothing nutcase who bemoaned the loss of her perfect ex-boyfriend, couldn't even iron his dress shirts and was only good for a quick shag.

"In retrospective, I should have left him there, took my baby and packed my things and apparated to my parents. But I was a coward and deluded myself into thinking that Tobias would come around. He would accept the Magical world, start to respect me again and love our little Prince. I had been damn wrong about this assumption, for he wouldn't touch Severus and shout at him until he cried whenever he performed some accidental magic. He tuned my stories about Hogwarts out, lashed verbally out at me every week and beat me at least twice a month. He developed an alcohol addiction, resented Severus and used me as his house-maid and regular shag. I could prevent that he didn't hit Severus before he was five by taking the brunt of his beatings and sending Severus into his room whenever Tobias was intoxicated, but after Severus went into pre-school and scared his schoolmates by vanishing their pencils or making them trip when they insulted him for his greasy hair, tattered clothes and sourly demure, he dared to abuse Severus physically with some painful spankings by his belt, kicks in his rips and blows to his face. Naturally, Severus had noticed as a toddler that his father didn't like him and hurt his mum. Seeing his obsidian eyes without a lively spark and hardened to the world and hearing his timid, emotionless voice asking me why daddy didn't hug him and screamed at him and mummy for their magic, broke my heart. But I solaced him by stating that daddy was only mean to him under the influence of alcohol, would be proud at his keen mind and gentle soul soon enough and that he was my little magical prince who would rock Hogwarts with his magical tricks.

"Severus absorbed my fantastic tales about Hogwarts with sparkling eyes, listened adept to my teachings in Potions and learned every spell with a thirst for perfection. I swear that he pretended to mix his own potions with harmless ingredients he had found in the forest aged five, could cite every reaction of any potion ingredient aged seven and identify every constellation aged eight. I wanted to educate him in the workings of the constellations and universe to connect him to his Black heritage and he would gaze at the night sky with a self-made Telescopium every night before he went to bed and point Corvus out to me. Hell, he has inherited your love for adventures and interest in stones for he pretended to be a dragon keeper or natural scientist in a willow near the river or to detect signs from stones in a forest near our house. Besides his love for adventure and nature, he has also inherited your stubbornness and temper because he threw a temper tantrum whenever I forbade him to wander off into the forest or urged him to hide his accidental magic from Muggles.

"Our son can't handle to be surrounded by dunderheads, loves to read books and experiment with new potions as well as up his former bullies in duels and hates to be written off as a dark wizard due to his moody teenage years and see other people treated unfairly. He dreams to live a happy life with his one true love Olivia, invent many cures and useful spells and to bring down Voldemort. Basically, he is the perfect mix of our best qualities and has an endless ability to love. You will love him and he will be overjoyed to hear that he isn't blood-related to the abusive bastard Tobias, albeit he will rip into me for my lies. God, I'm terrified to tell him the truth. I fear that I will lose him forever." Eileen ended her speech on a somber note and looked with frantic eyes at her lost lover. How could she have messed up their lives so spectacularly?