Age Seven

It's so quiet in their little house with both the children gone, Dhurke thinks. Datz has taken them on a trip into the capital, to which the boys have been looking forward to for days – after all, there are not many opportunities for them to see the world beyond the forest, river and mountains that they live next to. Dhurke is very strict when it comes to letting his children go into town. After all, even though years have passed since the fire, he is still on top of the country's most wanted criminals list, especially after establishing the rapidly growing revolutionary group of the Defiant Dragons a few years back; and he knows the queen would certainly not hesitate from taking his children hostage just to draw him out.

It is Apollo he worries about the most. For him, there is not only the danger from Queen Ga'ran's goons, but also the danger from another. Dhurke still has not managed to uncover the identity of Jove's killer and their motive to kill him, and as long as those things remain in the shadows, he has to assume that there is still someone out there waiting for a chance to finish what they have started. Of course, they may have assumed that Apollo died in the fire – a baby normally has no chance of escaping a burning building after all – but one look at him would tell them the whole story. He is the spitting image of his father, except for those two strands of hair being gelled up instead of falling into his forehead.

Dhurke knows he cannot just keep Apollo here in the mountains where he is far away from anyone who might want to harm him. The boy has to see the world beyond their home. But he is sure that the killer and the arsonist who set the palace on fire are one and the same person, and that this person is deep inside the Ga'ran regime, which means that every time his son sets foot into the capital, he could be seen and recognized by them. And that thought alone makes Dhurke want to run after them and take Apollo back home as quickly as possible.

Maybe Datz is right and the permanent state of being on the run is starting to take its toll on Dhurke, making him become more and more paranoid. Maybe his worries really are unfounded – for all he knows, that person could have fled the country a long time ago already, in fear of being caught. But he cannot ignore that his intuition tells him otherwise – that they are still here in Khura'in, hidden and protected by the very regime itself. And sometimes, he cannot help but ask himself if keeping Apollo here with him is selfish. After all, technically, Apollo would be safer in his birth country, the United States. There, no regime would be terrorizing him because of his father's rebellion, and the arsonist surely would not take it upon themselves to cross half the world just to get their hands on him, especially because abroad, they could not have the protection from the Khura'inese regime. In the US, Apollo would finally have the chance of living a peaceful childhood and adult life, without the constant fear of being discovered that has been looming over all three of them ever since that day.

But he is only seven years old. He has got no known family in that big, strange country, nobody who could take care of him. There is no way Dhurke can do this. He cannot send his son off to some strange country all on his own. Perhaps, it really is selfish of him, but he just cannot bear the thought of having to part from his son for possibly forever, as it is impossible to just go to the airport and board a plane to visit him as a wanted man.

No, Apollo is going to stay here. They are going to manage this somehow, they have to. They are a family and they are going to stay together, no matter what comes.

Suddenly he hears a car pulling up outside. He is just about to disappear into his usual hiding spot, just in case it is some of Ga'ran's henchmen coming to search the area, when he hears the car doors slam, footsteps approaching and an all-too-familiar voice saying "In you go."

Alarmed, Dhurke looks at the clock. They are not supposed to be back already. In three strides, he is at the front door, opens it, and is met with the sight of his sons. Apollo has obviously been crying, and Nahyuta has his arms crossed and is stubbornly avoiding eye contact.

"Hey you two, are you alright? Why are you back so soon?" He looks at Datz. "Did something happen?"

"You could say that," Datz answers, nodding into the direction of Apollo. "AJ caused quite some trouble. Apparently, he thought it would be a good idea to snuck off to the Royal Residence while I wasn't looking, and sing the revolution song in front of the gates of Ga'ran Palace."

"What?! Is this true, Apollo?"

The boy shrinks under his father's glare and nods slightly.

"You do remember what I told you about the palace and the Royal Residence?"

"…To…not go near it…"

"And what did I tell you about the revolution thing?"

"…T-To not do it in public…"

"Exactly! Do you even understand in how much danger you were? They could have caught and imprisoned you! You could even have been – " Dhurke cuts himself off and shakes his head. "Go to your room, I'll come speak to you later."

Head bowed, Apollo walks inside on unsteady legs and when he reaches his and Nahyuta's room, he closes the door behind him and curls up on his cot, shaking. That's it. Now, Dhurke is surely going to send him away. After all, Apollo's only here because his real parents have left him. And they have obviously left because they did not want him anymore, maybe because he has been bad back then, too. And now, Apollo has been bad again and Dhurke is going to leave him, too. He's going to be all alone, he thinks and buries his head in his pillow. He doesn't want to be alone!

He doesn't know for how long he lays there, trying to keep the overwhelming fear at bay; to him, it feels like ages. Finally, he hears the door open and close again and sits up. Dhurke's standing there, looking at him with a very serious expression. For a moment, neither of them speaks. Then, Dhurke sighs and sits down next to him.

"Son, you know that what you did was very dangerous, don't you?"

"…Yeah…"

"You know the regime guys are evil and are still out to catch you or Nahyuta or Uncle Datz or me. And that when you're in the capital, you're supposed to stay away from their places, such as Ga'ran palace. And that everything about the revolution and the Defiant Dragons is a secret and it's very dangerous to say something about it in the capital, let alone sing the revolution song."

"I know…"

"And by doing what you did, you not only endangered yourself, but Uncle Datz and Nahyuta as well."

Apollo winces and lowers his head. He hasn't thought of that until now, but it's true. The bad guys could have caught Nahyuta and Uncle Datz, because he has drawn attention to all of them. And if they would have caught them, it would all have been his fault! His eyes start to burn again.

"I really don't understand why you would do such a thing, son. It's not like you at all."

"I-I…", Apollo desperately searches for words, "I j-just wanted to prove Nahyuta w-wrong…"

"Prove him wrong? In what matter?"

"H-He said I wasn't a real dragon because I was scared of the bad queen's fighter guys… a real dragon wouldn't be scared of anything, he said… and… and I wanted to prove him that I wasn't scared…"

Dhurke is silent for a few moments. "I see," he says eventually. "And you believe what your brother said? About how a real dragon would not be scared of anything?"

"Yeah. Nahyuta's always right about everything."

Dhurke cannot suppress a smile at that. "Nobody's always right about everything. Though Nahyuta likes to pretend that he is, that's for sure." He lays a hand on Apollo's shoulder. "Now, son, I want you to listen to me very carefully, alright? To be a dragon does not mean that you're not scared of anything. Even I am scared of some things."

"Y-You are?"

"Of course, son. There's nobody in the world who isn't scared of anything. Being scared is natural, there's nothing wrong about it. You shouldn't take everything your brother says seriously. And you certainly should not put yourself in such grave danger just to prove him wrong, alright?"

Apollo nods.

"Good." Dhurke ruffles his hair. "Now, how about we all have some magatah'mans? Uncle Datz brought some from the bazaar."

"You're not going to send me away?"

The question catches Dhurke off guard so much that it renders him speechless for a few seconds. Apollo is looking at him with a timid but hopeful expression, while fidgeting with the fabric of his sleeve, waiting for an answer. He definitely does not appear to be joking.

"What – why do you think I would do that, son?"

"Because," Apollo nervously bites his lip, "because you're not my real Ata'oji, and I'm only here because my real Ata'oji and my Nahna'oji have left because I've been bad, and now I've been bad again, and – "

"Hey, hey, slow down there, son. Where did you get all that?"

Apollo hesitates, still chewing on his bottom lip. "From Nahyuta," he says.

"Nahyuta?" Dhurke has not expected that at all. "Why did he tell you something like that?"

The boy lowers his head. "He was acting all pompous again and wouldn't play Hide and Seek with me, so I might 've… I might 've started peeving him a bit, because it made me angry," he mutters. "And then he said I'm only staying with you because my real parents have left me, so I should watch myself and not be bad."

Dhurke feels himself become quite cross with his older son, and shakes his head. "He shouldn't say such a thing, no matter how annoyed he is with you. I'll talk to him later."

"So, what he said isn't true?"

"Well…", Dhurke clears his throat, "I'm afraid it is partially true. It is true that you are not my birth son and I took you in after your true parents were gone."

"…Oh." Apollo deflates and his eyes fill with sadness. "Okay."

"But." Dhurke wraps an arm around his shoulders, causing him to look at him again. "It is not true that your parents left you because you had been bad or because they didn't want you."

"…But why did they leave then?"

"They… well…"

Dhurke wracks his brain for the right words. Apollo is only seven. He has to make sure that he still understands what he is telling him without being overwhelmed or traumatized by it.

"You see," he begins, "I was friends with your father. He was a musician; he played guitar and sang songs for others to enjoy. And because his music was very good, I invited him over to my place to play some songs. He brought you with him, you were still just a baby. And then, that night, there was a big fire."

"The fire that took away your at-ur-neeh job?"

"Yes, that one. You and your father were in the building when it broke out, and your father did everything he could to protect you and get you both out of there. But in the process, he was stopped by someone else and… he had to leave you to go to the Twilight Realm."

Apollo frowns. "The Twi-light… oh! It's the place Nahyuta keeps telling me about!" He pauses. "But… why did he go there?"

"Well, you see, he had no choice. He was forced to go there."

"Why?"

Dhurke sighs. "I don't know, son. I wish I would."

"But why doesn't he just come back from the Twilight place?"

"Well… it's because the Twilight Realm is a special place, son. When you go there, you can't ever come back here."

"Oh."

"So, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, son? Your Ata'oji didn't leave you because you did something wrong or he didn't want you. He loved you and tried to protect you until the very last moment."

"Oh… and what about my Nahna'oji?"

"The fire caused quite some chaos, and she didn't know where you were and couldn't find you. And because of that, I guess she assumed you went to the Twilight Realm with your father, so she gave up and probably returned to the United States. That's a big country in the west, where both of your parents were originally from," he adds at Apollo's confused look.

"So… she didn't leave because I was bad either?"

"No, son, she didn't and your father didn't. You mustn't keep thinking such things. And you also mustn't keep thinking that I will send you away if you're bad, because that's not true either."

"B-But… I'm not your real son, and…"

"Apollo," Dhurke says firmly, "that does not make any difference. You are as much my son as Nahyuta is. You may not be my son by blood, but you are my son by heart, spirit and soul. And I won't send you away, no matter what. Alright?"

Apollo nods, eyes watery. "O-Okay…" He fiddles with his sleeve, and then looks up to Dhurke again. "So, can I… can I still call you Ata'oji?" he asks tentatively.

"Oh son," Dhurke pulls Apollo into his arms. "Of course you can."

Apollo clings to him and buries his head against Dhurke's chest. "Good."

Dhurke holds him tighter, fervently hoping that he will be able to be true to his word: to never send his son away, no matter what happens.

Translations:

Nahna'oji – Mum