Age Nine

"OBJECTION!" Apollo accusingly points at his brother who is standing on the opposite side of the table. "You don't have any evidence that the accused's statement is the truth! In fact, I have proof that he's lying!" He pulls a marble out of his pocket, holds it up and is pleased with himself when he sees that this clearly catches Nahyuta unawares.

They are playing 'trial', their second favourite game after 'Run from the Regime!'. It has been pouring with rain the whole day, and Apollo is not in a very good mood because he has to play the prosecutor again. Nahyuta says that he's going to get to decide who is who because he is older than Apollo, and he always wants to be the defence attorney, so Apollo always has to be the stupid prosecutor. It's not fair! He wants to be the defence sometimes, too!

Suddenly, Nahyuta reaches across the table, whips the marble out of Apollo's hand and pushes it into his own pocket. "I don't see any evidence!" he says triumphantly.

"H-Hey!" Apollo protests. "That's against the rules! Dhurke, Nahyuta stole the evidence!"

Dhurke, who is sitting in the rocking chair reading a book, looks up. "Did he now?"

"Yeah! He just put it into his pocket and then said there wasn't any evidence!"

"Well, that certainly is a unique kind of counterargument, Nahyuta! I've never even thought of that back when I was still practicing law! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

"You see?" His brother has still got that smug expression on his face and it's so unbelievingly irritating.

"But Dhurke!" Apollo insists. "It's forbidden to steal evidence! Isn't it?"

"Indeed, it is, son. At least it was when I was still an attorney. They've changed many things since then, as you already know."

Apollo turns back to Nahyuta. "There! It's against the rules. Now give it back!" he orders.

Nahyuta crosses his arms. "No! It's silly anyway, because I don't have anything to counter and it's boring like this."

"Alright," Apollo huffs. "I'll do something else then." He presses his finger against his forehead and thinks hard about another method he can use to win this. He is just about to call a witness to testify about the accused's lacking alibi, when he hears a very faint, but strange noise through the pattering of the rain against the windowpane. "What's that?"

"What?" Nahyuta asks.

"That noise. There's a strange noise out there."

Nahyuta cocks his head and listens for a few seconds. "I only hear the rain."

Apollo steps up to the window. He cannot see anything through the rain, but the noise is still there.

"You're just imagining it, Apollo," Nahyuta says. "C'mon, let's continue."

"I'm not imagining it," Apollo protests. "If you would come here, you would hear it, too!" He pauses and listens again. "It's even getting louder! And it sounds like some… some engine. A car engine! Dhurke, Uncle Datz is coming to visit, isn't he?"

Dhurke frowns. "Not that I know of, son. But you're not imagining it, now I can hear it as well." He closes his book, gets up from his chair and walks over to where Apollo is standing, Nahyuta following him. The noise – the engine is still getting louder and clearer… and closer.

"Wow!" Apollo says, happily bouncing up and down. "Uncle Datz has to have a new car! It's really loud! Can he take us for a ride, Dhurke?" He turns to him, but Dhurke is not smiling. He's staring outside, looking unusually pale.

"It's not Uncle Datz, son."

"Huh? But who is it?"

Dhurke does not answer.

"…F-Father…" Nahyuta whispers, suddenly sounding scared, "it's not the regime again, is it?"

Apollo feels fear starting to rise in him. The bad guys have been all over the mountains lately; he cannot even count the times they have had to hide anymore, sometimes even in the middle of the night. But they have never been so close to their house! The engine is getting so loud now, it sounds like they are driving right towards them!

"Nahyuta," Dhurke says very calmly – and when he's that calm, it always means danger – "take your brother and go to your usual hiding spots."

Nahyuta nods, clearly afraid, but Apollo clutches to Dhurke. "They're not going to come to the house, are they? They've never come to the house before."

"…I think it's very likely that they do this time, son," Dhurke says. "Which is why it's very important that you go with your brother now, before it's too late. If it comes to the worst, I want you boys to know that I love you very much, alright? Now go. Hurry! And remember to be quiet."

Nahyuta's eyes are brimming with tears, but he nods again, whispers: "C'mon, ono'ro mit-sa, everything's going to be alright," and pulls his now silently crying younger brother out of the room with him.

Dhurke wants to pull them back and hug them both so badly, but he has to concentrate. Quickly, he cleans away everything he sees in the room that hints at a recent inhabitation of this place, before hurrying to his own hiding place in the house as quietly as he can. He just barely manages to hide away, before someone bangs on the front door.

"Is someone in there? Open this door, in the name of Her Eminence!"

Never, Dhurke thinks.

There is the crashing sound of the door being burst open, and several people entering the house, yelling orders in Khura'inese at each other – "You, look over there in the back rooms, and you over there!", "Search everything!" – and footsteps disappearing into every kind of direction; doors, cupboards and drawers being yanked open and carelessly emptied, their content spilling onto the floor.

Dhurke closes his eyes. O Holy Mother, please protect my children, he silently prays. Let them take me instead, for all I care, but not them. Not Nahyuta and Apollo. Please. Please. I'd do anything.

He keeps his eyes closed, listening to cupboards being searched, chairs being thrown over, footsteps coming close to his hideout and then leaving again, and so many other footsteps all over the house, in every room and corner there is. He does not know how much time passes, but eventually, they stop their search and talk to each other in the cramped hallway. Dhurke tries hard to listen in, but only catches fragments. He cannot hear the boys' voices among them – because they haven't found them? Please, Holy Mother, let that be the reason… please protect my boys…

" – there's someone living here with at least two children, I'm sure one of them was hiding in the room over there – "

" – talking nonsense, there was no one there, it was just your imagination – "

" – so it's not Sahdmadhi like Her Eminence suspected, he only has that one son – "

" – But it still may be some of the other insurgents who likely would know something about Sahdmadhi's whereabouts, so let's – "

"No, we're not taking further steps now! We need to report back to Her Eminence, she will tell us what to do next and when to do it. Let's go back!"

Footsteps again, but now they are all walking in the same direction, fading at the end of the hallway and the front door is slammed shut. A few moments later, he can hear cars being started and then driving away, the sound of their engines fading in the distance, until at last, everything that can be heard is the sound of the still pouring rain pattering against the windows.

Minutes pass and Dhurke still does not dare move. The house is completely quiet, but what if they haven't all left? What if someone stayed here to keep watch? He lays there, listening intently, but nothing, not a sound. They are gone. Every single one of them.

Slowly, Dhurke crawls out, stands up and walks out into the hallway. He takes a short look into the living-room and kitchen – which are, as expected, in a complete disarray, but thankfully void of any remaining regime soldier – then hurries on towards his bedroom, where Apollo and Nahyuta have their hideouts. They have left the door to the room slightly ajar, and he can hear shuffling and one of the children quietly sobbing behind it. He forces himself to be calm and enters.

"Hey boys, everything alright?"

Nahyuta is sitting on the floor, hugging his younger brother, who is still half-buried underneath the floorboards he has been hiding under. Apollo's small frame is shaking with sobs, and he clings to his brother as though his life depends on it. Nahyuta is stroking his back, obviously trying to calm him down, and looks up when he hears their father's voice. His face is tear-stained, and he looks like he has been frightened to death.

"They nearly found him, Ata'oji," he whispers. "The regime guys nearly got Apollo."

Dhurke cannot say anything. He sinks down onto his knees beside Nahyuta and frees the rest of Apollo's quivering body from the wooden floorboards. Then, he pulls both his children into his arms and holds them close in the same way he has done that day a few years back, after they have nearly drowned in the river. It is only then that he realizes his whole body is trembling.

"Apollo has to leave."

Datz looks up from his drink. "Huh?"

A few days have passed since the Ga'ran soldiers have found their little house in the mountains, and since then, they are all staying at Datz's place. It is dangerous of course, for Datz lives way closer to the capital, but it is not as dangerous as staying in the mountains would be. It is night and Nahyuta and Apollo are both in bed, when Dhurke finally voices the thought that has not left his mind since the day they have been discovered.

"He has to leave," he repeats. "There is no other way. It is too dangerous for him here."

Datz is silent for a few seconds. "But… where do you want to send him? Do you want to give him to a family here in Khura'in until all this is over?"

Dhurke shakes his head. "No, that would still be too dangerous. They would find him, and though they would not make the connection to me anymore, there is still the murder of his father… no. As long as he is here, he will never be able to grow up in peace. I… I will have to send him back to the US."

"The US?" Datz echoes in disbelief. "How will that work out? It's half a world away, the kid's only nine and he has no family there, no one he knows."

"He has his mother."

"…Well, yeah, but… c'mon, Dhurke, that country's huge! There's no way he'll ever find her or she'll find him. And there's not even a guarantee that she's there. She could have moved to another country or even died, for all we know."

"I don't have a choice." Dhurke runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "It's too dangerous for him here. They nearly found him, Datz! And I don't want to imagine what would have happened to him if they had succeeded."

"And Yuty? Are you going to send him off to the US, too?"

"No, Nahyuta stays here."

"…Right."

Datz crosses his arms and stares out of the window, disagreement written all over his face. Dhurke lowers his head. For a few moments, there is silence between the two.

"Believe me, I'm not doing this willingly," Dhurke finally says. "I have no other choice. If I could, I would send Nahyuta away, too, but I can't. This is his home, he was born here and he's my son, I… I cannot give him , on the other hand…" He sighs. "It's difficult to explain. Apollo is my son, too, but he is Jove's son as well. I cannot just make this kind of decisions for him without considering what Jove would have wanted. And he wouldn't have wanted his son to grow up in fear of a foreign government. He would have wanted him to grow up safe, and Apollo is not safe here in Khura'in. At least not until the revolution is complete and the Ga'ran regime overthrown."

"I see…" Datz slowly says. "Well, if you're sure that this is the right thing to do, there is no way I can convince you otherwise. If you want, I can arrange a flight within the next few days. I'll go with him to make sure that he's taken care of over there."

Dhurke nods. "Thank you."

"…AJ will not take it well."

"I'll explain it to him. He'll understand."

Datz watches him with eyes full of doubt, and Dhurke averts his gaze.

It takes Datz barely a week to arrange everything for Apollo's departure, and Dhurke is thankful for it – the sooner Apollo is in America, the sooner he's safe. Still, it breaks his heart to load his son's backpack into Datz's car, knowing he won't see him again for years. And he can barely bear to look at him standing there, looking so utterly confused.

"I… I really have to go?"

Dhurke shuts the rear door of the car. "I'm afraid so, son."

"B-But… why?"

"Well, I've explained it to you. It's not safe for you here anymore." He kneels down, so that he's on eye level with Apollo. "I'm sorry this is all so rushed, son. But you know it is very dangerous here in Khura'in with the bad queen and her goons and all. I want you to be somewhere safe as quickly as possible."

"But… why aren't you and Nahyuta coming, too? Why am I the only one going?"

"W-Well…" Dhurke desperately searches for words. "…Because…"

"I have done something wrong, haven't I?"

Those words and the unbearably sad and crestfallen look in Apollo's eyes… it's tearing him apart. "No, son, not at all," he says firmly. "It's just… well… it's difficult to explain. You'll understand someday."

Apollo looks at him with an uncertain expression, but then nods slowly. "O-Okay. Good."

Dhurke nearly sighs with relief.

"Alright, AJ, we're ready to hit the road!" Datz opens the car's front door and slides into the driver's seat.

Dhurke takes a deep breath. "Have you got everything, son? Said goodbye to your brother?"

The boy nods. "'Yuta won't come out, though. He says he's angry with you and doesn't want to see you."

Dhurke sighs. Out of his two kids, he has at least expected Nahyuta to understand his decision for Apollo, but apparently, that has not been the case.

"We gotta hurry, or we're going to miss the flight," Datz calls.

"Alright." Dhurke wraps his arms around Apollo and holds him tight for the last time in what will probably be years. He does not want to pull away, wants to hold on to his son, but he knows that he can't.

He lets go and kisses Apollo on his forehead, then stands up again and helps him climb into the passenger seat. "Have a safe journey, son. Stay strong, and don't forget – "

Apollo stretches out his right arm. " – A dragon never yields!" he finishes proudly, clenches his hand into a fist and brings it to his chest. "I won't forget!"

Dhurke smiles. "Good." He tousles his son's hair one last time. "Goodbye, Apollo."

"Goodbye, Ata'oji."

Dhurke is just about to close the car door when a smaller hand grasps his arm. "Hey, Dhurke?"

Apollo is looking at him with a worried, but slightly hopeful expression in his eyes. "This isn't forever, right? You'll bring me back from America someday, right?"

Dhurke thinks about telling him the truth: "Well, son, I don't know. It depends on the revolution's success. It may very well be that you will never be able to come back here." He thinks about having to see that deeply sad look in his son's eyes again.

"Of course," he says. "I'll come pick you up as soon as things settle down here. Promise."

Apollo considers this for a second, then smiles brightly. "Okay! You promised!"

Dhurke feels a deep pain in his chest and forces himself to smile back, closing the door. He steps back when Datz starts the engine. Apollo waves at him when the car starts moving, and he waves back as he watches him being carried further and further away from him until finally, the car turns around a corner. His little Apollo is gone.

He cannot move an inch. He can still feel his son in his arms, hugging him goodbye. Then, he sees him as a seven-year old, scared of being sent away. Then, Apollo is five again, crying after nearly having drowned. Then, he's three and hesitantly telling him about the fire in his nightmare. And then, he's a baby again, laying in Dhurke's arms, clinging to him even in his sleep, as though he can somehow sense that he is the only one he has left now, and Dhurke notices a butterfly on the windowsill and, as to not wake the sleeping infant, softly whispers: "Don't worry, Jove, he's safe. I'll look after him now."

With that, he's back in the present, standing in front of Datz's small house, alone, and silent sobs start to shake his body, half out of the sorrow of having to give his son away, and half out of anger for the regime that has managed to tear his family apart a second time.