Chapter 3 Candy Kuru!
The Koopalings had decided too split upp, as the sheep were going in all sorts of different directions. Wendy went with Roy, Iggy went with Lemmy, Ludwig went with Larry, and Morton went by himself.
Ludwig and Larry followed a group of about ten sheep. Larry ran after them and Ludwig, who was one of the superpowered koopas called specials, flew after them. No mater what method of travel hey used to get around though, they couldn't keep up with the sheep because they were too fast. After running for about ten minutes and calling after the sheep, Larry stopped to catch his breath. He looked frusturated
"Those stupid soldiers," he said. "Don't they realize that we are trying to help them?"
"They probably didnt retain their mines," said Ludwig. "And the problem is that sheep only respond to the voice of their shepherd."
"But they don't have a shepherd!" Larry exclaimed.
Ludwig nodded, looking serious. Then his face lit up.
"I have an idea," he said. He looked at the area where the ten sheep were. He held out his hand and it started to glow with a blue light. The ground around the sheep started to glow with the same aura. It sprang up into the air and started to float toward th e two Koopalings. Larry laughed.
"Of course! TElekinesis! Why didn't we think of that before?"
Ludwig beamed as the chunk came closser. Suddenly, he winced in pain. Larry felt confused. The only time that Ludwig felt pain when using telekinesis was when he tried to use it to lifting sentient beings (hence the reason he didn't pick up the sheep themselves).
"Ludwig, what's going on?" Larry asked.
"I don't know," said Ludwig. "The ground isn't sentient." He looked curious. "Is it?"
Suddenly, the piece of earth started to wriggle and squirm. This caused all of the sheep to jump off of it and run away, startled. LUdwig and Larry stood still, anxious about what was going to happen. Just as there nervousness started to become overwhelming, the ground morphed into a beautiful, young human woman. She looked ticked off as she stormed over to Ludwig.
"Just what do you think you're doing, mister?" she asked.
Ludwig chuckled nervously.
"I'm so sorry," he said. "You see, I thought that you were just regular ground…"
The woman slapped Ludwig across the face. Larry stifled back laughter.
"Don't call me," she said, and waltsed away. Larry smiled.
"Wow dude," he said.
"I know," said Ludwig.
"Hey, you know what?" said Larry. "This is kind of like one of the songs that you wrote. What is it caled? 'The Koopa Kingdom's Wild Side?'"
Ludwig grinned.
"Yeah! This is exactly like that song!" he said. With that, he started to sing the extended version:
(Verse 1)
I've been to many places
Around the world
It's kind of an extensive list
I've seen World 5, WOrld 6, and Pipe LAnd too
But I've never seen a place like this
To say it's logical
Would be a straight up lie
But if you want to
See it
Experience it
Then come with me and try...
To take a walk on the wild side
(Verse 2)
My mind just boggles at this craziness
I feel like I might explode
Rules are kicked right to the curb
In this wackiness overload
It's a really messed up world
Under statement wise
You've gotta see it
If you wanna believe it
So if you can trust your eyes
Then take a walk on the wild side
(Bridge)
Oh, things are intensified
When on the wild side
I'm feeling terrified
WIll we ever get things
Back to normal
Cause this is really awful
Our world is tearing at the seams
I feel I'll go insane
Cause I'm in a hurricane
Of tons of kooky imagery!
(Closing Verse)
So if you're looking for excitement
Then you might be surprised
But if you want to do it
Then get right to it
And see if you can survive…
A little walk on the wild side
Take a walk on the wild side
It's just a walk on the wild side
A walk on the wild side
Oh take a walk on the wild side
…
Morton wandered around the general area. He was talking to himself.
"I really like sheep," he said. "They are pretty cool. They are also adorable, especially lambs. I just don't get why their wool has to be boring colors like black and white. WHy can't it be purple or blue or yellow or green? Heck, why can't it be a color that we have never seen before? Oh man, that would be so cool! Wat if there really were colors that people have never seen before, like on alien worlds or something? I wonder what those colors would be called?'
Morton stopped talking and looked across the way. HE saw a group of five sheeep prancing around. He smiled and ran tward them.
"Come hear little sheepys!" he screamed.
The sheep let out startled bleats and started to skatter. Morton new that he couldn't chase after all of them, so he focused his attention on one. He lunged at it, and to his surprize, the sheep flew up into the air. Morton gawked.
"Super sheep?" he asked in disbelief.
Now the sheep looke angry. Its eyes started to glow with a red light, and just like that lazers burst out of them. Morton screamed as he got hit by the lazers, and didn't stop screaming until they disappeared. He sat on the ground, completely scorched but thankfully still alive and with all his body parts still functioning. He blinked to get the soot out of his eyes, and the sheep, smiling, flew away. Morton waved his fist in the air.
"I'll get you next time, Sheeperman!" he yelled.
…
It had been a hour since the started chasing after the sheep, and now Lemmy and Iggy had completely lost them. The two of them stopped by a pool in a forest to catch their breath.
"I'm thirsty," said Lemmy.
"I am as well," said Iggy. "I am grateful that we managed to find a relatively clear pool of water." He put a little thermometer of sorts into it and pulled it out when it beeped. He smiled. "It is approximately fifty degrees Farenheight, and it does not appear to have any unwanted chemicals in it.."
Lemmy smiled and dipped his hand into the pool. He took a taste of it and instantly spit it out.
"This tastes horrible!" he said. "It's so bitter!"
Iggy took a taste of the water and found that Lemmy was right. The water tasted like burnt wood.
"This isn't regular water; it's carbonated!" he said. He took another taste. "ANd I believe I detect the slightest note of pomegranate for flavoring."
Lemmy shuttered.
"I am not drinking it," he said. "I'm going to go find another pool."
With that, Lemmy got to his feet and startted to look around. He went through the trees and screamed. Iggy got to his feet in a hurry.
"Lemmy! Is something causing you distress?"
He went and when he came to the area where Lemmy was, he could see that his scream was one of joy, not terror. He was standing over a pool of what looked like choclolate milk.
"Iggy!" Lemmy cried happily. "Look at that!"
Iggy felt a little excited and nervous.
"The carbonated water and the chocolate milk must be caused by the strain on the fabric of our reality," he said. "It doesn't make any sense and has no logical or canonical backing to it, but they are still present in our world. I don't know whether to be amazed, happy, or absolutely terrified."
"Try happy," said Lemmy as he approached the pool. "Happy is good." He dipped his hand in the pool and lapped up some of the milk. "Mmm. And so is this!"
Iggy and Lemmy heard rustling in the bushes. They turned and saw that out of it sprang a bunny with pink fur. Lemmy gasped.
"Awww," he said. "That's adorable!" He approached the bunnie with his arm out slightly. "Maybe I can pet it…?"
When Lemmy got close enough to the bunny, it opened its mouth as wide as a doorway and gobbled Lemmy right up. Iggy shrieked.
"Oh no!" he cried. He approached the rabbit. "You spit out my brother, you fiend!"
The bunny cackled with an evil grin om its face. Then it started to look sick. It's cheeks swelled up and it gagged, and just like that it spat up Lemmy. Lemmy was covered in slime, he was shuddering like a broken car, and he had a look of pure horror on his face.
"Lemmy, are you alright?" asked Iggy.
Lemmy's head rattled as he shook it.
"I was in its mouth," he said feebly. "That thing...so cute and then….CHOMP!"
Iggy glared at the bunny.
"You've learned your lesson," he said, "now go on. Shoo!"
The bunny hopped away.
…
Wendy and Roy strolled down the path.
"Okay," said Wendy, "how are we going to find the sheep?"
"Well, there are exactly three hundred soldiers in the infantry," said Roy, "and won hundred of then turned into sheep."
Wendy looked amazed.
"You were able to sea the exact amount?" she asked.
"I know," said ROy. "If this genius thing keeps up then I'll be even smarter than Iggy." His facial expression shifted to a whiny one. " And i don't want that to happen!"
"Don't worry about it," said Wendy. "The more you focus on it, the bigger a problem it'll seem like." Suddenly, she pointed across the way. "Look!"
ROy looked where Wendy was pointing and noticed three of the sheep. He smiled.
"Bingo," he said. Wendy started to approach them, but Roy put his hand on her shoulder.
"We need to be careful," he said. "Sheep are very nervous creatures. They also have terrible perception."
Wendy nodded. She and Roy started to carefully and slowly approach the sheep. They were just about there when the sheep spotted them and started to run.
"Dang it!" said Wendy. "We were so close."
"Well, now is no time to stand and mope," said Roy. "We need to follow them!"
Roy and Wendy ran over to the sheep. What was odd is that the ground didn't make the typical crunch sound under their fet that one would expect. Instead, everytime they took a step, a different sound effect occurred. From quacking to thunder claps to chickens clucking, Wendy and ROy went through a whole library of sound effects. The only one that they didn't hear, ironically, was the bleating of sheep.
"There's one of them!" said Roy.
The place where the sheep stood was interesting. There was a glass wall, and there were four doors in the wall. Through the glass, Wendy and Roy could see the other sheep on the other side. Wendy ran over to the wall and wrapped her arms around the one sheep, which began to whimper and bleat.
"It's ok, baby," she said soothingly. "We've got you."
Roy then opened one of the doors, and was completely taken aback by what he saw on the other side. It was a snowy mountain! Roy closed the door before the chilly wind could cause his ectothermic blood to freeze.
"That was odd," he said.
Wendy opened the door next to it and gasped. There was a room full of treasure on the other side.
"Woah, sweet!" she said. Roy put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head. Then, she went over to the next door. She opened it and saw a monster with blue fur and purple polka dots on the other side. He had his mouth as if to roar, but instantly closed it.
"You guys aren't children," he said. "Sorry, I must have the wrong door."
The monster closed the door and Wendy and Roy went to the other door. THis one actually lead them to the sheep on the other side. The ran toward them gleefully.
"Alright!" said Roy.
Just before they could get to the sheep, the ground gave out from under them. The two Koopalings fell ten feet down into a hole. When they landed, they saw a fat, balding koopa sitting in front of a TV, eating chips.
"Hey dudes," he said. "Want to watch 'Star Wars?'"
Roy and Wendy groaned and collapsed to the floor.