A/N: Hell hello lovelies! And thus we have reached the climax! Quick warning for thoughts of suicide. Take care of yourselves dears. Enjoy!
The weekend rolled by and Phineas and Ferb showed up to school on Monday like normal. They'd managed to fix his chair and rework the rockets so they would work correctly. But Phineas… what had happened at the park had destroyed any chance of feeling happy that weekend.
Ferb placed a comforting had on Phineas' shoulder as they parted ways to their respective classes. Phineas gave him a small smile and rolled away.
Phineas passed through the day in a haze. He skipped lunch like normal and honestly considered skipping robotics. He sighed. Today was the last day they had to work on their robot and he couldn't leave Grace to do that alone.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey," he murmured and lay his head on his desk. Man, he was tired.
"You okay?" she asked, tilting her head.
"Mm… just tired," he replied. Liar.
"Okay…" She didn't sound convinced.
The bell rang and Mr. Roberts started class, answering questions about the final assignment and detailing when he'd have grades out, when something landed on the desk in front of Phineas. A slip of paper, folded into fourths. A note?
He picked his head off the desk and unfolded it. Grace gave him a curious glance, but didn't pry. He didn't recognize the handwriting, but he could guess who had written it.
Hey loser, it read. No one likes you!
"As you keep reminding me," Phineas thought sardonically. He kept reading.
I don't know how you can stand having broken legs and a broken brain. If I were you, I'd have killed myself.
Why are you even still here?
He couldn't deal with this today. The words pounded in his brain, swirling in his already muddy thoughts. Why was he still here? What was the point of still being here if all he was doing was taking up space feeling worthless? No one cared. No one would really miss him. What was he waiting for? He couldn't deal with this today.
He was done.
What was he waiting for?
"Mr. Roberts?" he asked, raising his hand. "Can I use the hall pass?" The teacher looked up from his slides at him.
"Hm? Oh, yes, but be quick."
He didn't notice Grace's worried expression as he hoisted himself into his chair and left the room.
He wouldn't be coming back.
::::::
Grace tapped her foot anxiously as she watched the time tick by. Phineas had been gone for ten minutes. The look on his face had terrified her, despondent and defeated.
Finally finally they broke to work on projects and she rushed to the front of the room.
"Mr. Roberts, I'm worried about Phineas. Can I go look for him? He should be back by now."
He checked the clock and frowned. Grace was right and, to be honest, he was worried about the boy too.
"Alright. Come straight back when you find him."
"Right."
Grace nearly sprinted out of the room and around the first floor, calling into each of the boys bathrooms. No response.
She wrung her hands and paced, wondering where he could have, would have, gone or who else might know.
Ferb.
Ferb would know.
It was by chance more than anything that she found the right room.
"Excuse me," she said, interrupting the teacher and causing everyone to look at her. "Can I borrow Ferb for a minute?"
The teacher nodded and Ferb followed her out into the hallway, curious as to what was going on.
"Phineas is gone," she said. "H-He left class in a rush and he hasn't come back and I've checked all the bathrooms. I'm worried about him Ferb. Like, really worried."
Ferb quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the phone tracker app his family had installed. His eyes widened briefly and he dashed down the hall towards the front doors without an explanation.
Grace prayed things would be okay.
::::::
Phineas made his way across town, barely checking before he crossed the street, toward Danville Park. More specifically, Danville River.
In the quiet and darkness of night, where thoughts like this crept up on him and stole his peace of mind, he wondered how he would do it. If he would do it. He decided awhile ago that water would be the best. Pills or a knife and someone could save him, but water, it'd probably be too late. And it's not like he could pull himself out, not easily anyway. And with water, they could wonder. Wonder if it was an accident... or if he had meant it.
There it was. He broke from the path and wheeled across the lawn, now brown with the oncoming winter. He paused at the edge of it.
The river was fast and deep and dark at this part. There was even a sign that warned not to swim there, though he supposed that didn't really apply right now.
He placed his hands on his wheels, ready to take the plunge, and paused.
In the future, when asked to describe that moment, Phineas would never be able to find the right words to explain what had happened. It was almost as if a camera was coming into focus. The lines seemed sharper, colors brighter, and sounds louder. He suddenly realized how cold the breeze was and how earthy the air smelled.
"What am I doing?" he wondered quietly. Did he really want to kill himself and end it all here? All the tomorrows that could have been? A large, a scarily large, part of him said yes. He was so, so tired of fighting, of living, surviving.
But a smaller, but no less powerful, part said no. No, because there was still hope. There was hope in yesterday and in tomorrow that it would get better. That it will.
"I- ha, I need help," Phineas said. His hands were shaking as he moved to turn around.
"PHINEAS!" someone screamed.
"Wait? Ferb?"
He turned and caught a glimpse of his brother, but as he did, his wheel slipped on the muddy bank. The edge crumbled away and his chair started to tip. Gravity took over and Phineas fell into the river.