Hello hello! Thank you all for your wonderful support and patience! Special thanks to Aquino for their lovely review!

No major warnings for this chapter. Talk about why he almost did what he did, but that's about it. Be safe everyone! And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm glad to listen.

So without further ado!

Freezing. Phineas could already feel his muscles seizing up as he struggled to find the surface. He left his chair behind and clawed through the water, trying to keep his head even as he was buffered this way and that by the current.

Why fight it? You're here now. You can stop fighting. You might as well just stay.

"Shut it," he replied.

He felt his hand break the surface just as holding his breath was becoming uncomfortable and was relieved when another hand caught his wrist.

He broke the surface with a gasp as Ferb pulled him onto the shore. He threw a jacket around his shoulders and pulled him in close, even as Phineas coughed up water and tried to catch his breath.

"I'm fine Ferb. I'm okay," he said through the coughs. Ferb didn't say anything, but hugged him harder, shaking with silent sobs.

They both looked up in surprise as something climbed out of the river. It was Perry dragging Phineas' chair behind him.

"Oh there you are Perry! What are you doing here boy?" The platypus looked at him with a startling look of intelligence in his eyes and gave a tired chatter before climbing into his boy's lap.

"Are you okay?" Ferb finally asked.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"What were you thinking?" he hissed, voice getting caught on a sob.

"I-I don't know. I was thinking too much, I guess. Or too little. I don't know." He shivered. "Can we go home?"

Ferb helped him into his chair and Phineas didn't protest as he pushed him all the way home, with Perry sitting in his lap.

Once they got home, Ferb made them hot chocolate while Phineas changed into dry clothes. The two brothers sat together on the couch only after Ferb had grabbed enough blankets to cover all of Danville it seemed. Under the pile of blankets they sat, with Perry curled up next to them, and talked.

"Phineas, were you… were-"

"Yeah. I was going… considering committing suicide." Ferb didn't respond, just waited, the unspoken question hanging heavy in the air: WHY?

"I've… been thinking about it for a while," Phineas admitted, noting how Ferb clutched the blankets harder at the admission. "I guess, this all started when I found about the brain damage and the bullying wasn't helping matters either.

"I tried to think positive. "Today was a great day," "I feel awesome!" But when what I was thinking didn't ever match what I was feeling… it got harder and harder to keep it up, so I stopped.

"So then I tried to distract myself by playing guitar or studying or anything to avoid realizing how terrible I actually felt. And it worked for the most part, but I still knew that what I was feeling or, I guess, not feeling, wasn't good.

"And today someone said something that made me decide it wasn't worth it. Why keep feeling nothing- feeling like nothing, when I could just… stop. And not feel anything?"

Ferb suddenly had his arms around his brother and Phineas had to laugh to choke back the tears.

"Hang on Ferb, I'm not done yet." Ferb sat back and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand. "When I got to the river, everything became a lot clearer and I realized that everything would get better. It sucks right now and probably will for a while, but I know it'll get better.

"And Ferb, I swear I wasn't going to go through with it. My wheel slipped as I turned. I swear I wasn't going to."

Ferb nodded, eyes swimming uncharacteristically with tears. He pulled Phineas into another hug and held him tight."

"I can't believe I almost lost you again."

::::::

It was a long night. Candace got home first and of course was freaked out. They filled her in and she joined them on the couch, sitting on the other side of Phineas, literally surrounding him with support. When their parents got home, they were obviously confused and concerned why their children were bundled up together on the couch looking tired while Phineas' chair drip dried in the bathroom.

So they told them.

It was a long night.

It was somewhat awkward and painful to have to retell it, relive it, again, to air his deepest thoughts and feelings out in the open. That shame and guilt and pain that he had buried was now there for his entire family to see. It was uncomfortable, but so, so freeing.

"I'll look up some therapists and we can set up an appointment tomorrow," his mom said, dabbing away the last of her tears.

"Thanks Mom," Phineas said.

The doorbell rang. Not knowing who it was, Linda got up to answer it.

"Phineas! It's for you."

Ferb ran and brought him his chair and the two of them went to the door. Grace stood on the threshold, holding his backpack.

She tackled Phineas in a hug, surprising him with just how tight it was. She pulled back after a moment, a bit flustered.

"Sorry. Uh, you forgot your backpack when you left today. Are you alright?"

"Oh, thanks! Yeah, there was a, uh, family emergency. I will be." He gave her a reassuring smile and it seemed to be enough.

"Okay. I'll see you at school on Monday?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome," she said, relief bleeding into her voice. "See you then!" And with a wave, she left.

"That was nice of her," Linda commented.

"Yeah." Phineas opened his bag and, to his surprise, found a bag of still warm brownies inside. "Wow… I don't deserve a friend like her."

"How about you boys get ready for bed?" Lawrence suggested. "It's been a long day."

The boys did just that, after helping themselves to one of Grace's delicious brownies. Ferb went upstairs to change into pajamas while Phineas made his way to the downstairs bathroom to brush his teeth. He opened the cabinet to grab his toothbrush and had to reach past a bottle of pills to get it. He paused.

You could still do it, a sinister voice thought. Avoid dealing with the fallout, not have to go back to school… Pretty tempting…

He startled as another hand reached by him, grabbed the toothbrush, and gently closed the cupboard. He turned to look at Ferb who was holding out his toothbrush.

"I wasn't going to-"

"I know, but… better safe than sorry, right?"

Phineas reached out and gingerly took his toothbrush.

"Right."

He finished up in the bathroom and wasn't surprised to find Ferb in his room, having brought down extra pillows and blankets for them.

"You don't have to-" he started. He didn't want Ferb to feel obligated to spend the night with him, but he really wanted him to stay.

"I want to," Ferb replied. "Really."

Phineas let Ferb turn off the lights and scootched over as his brother climbed in the bed with him.

"Good night Phineas. I love you." Those words were like a soft and warm blanket after climbing out of the river and they instantly soothed Phineas' troubled mind.

"Love you too Ferb."

:::::::

That night, Perry refused to leave Phineas' side. It took a lot longer for the platypus to fall asleep than it did the boy. He was still numb with shock and the cold water it felt like. He pressed himself closer to the boy's side and eventually fell asleep to the comforting rhythm of Phineas' heartbeat. He would be okay.

The next morning, Perry was more than miffed when he was called into work, but Monogram said it couldn't wait, so once the boys were off on errands with their Mom, what with it being the weekend, he flew over to ~Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.~

Perry walked up to Doofenshmirtz' door and stared at it. After last night, he was just too tired to break it down. He knocked.

"Who is it- Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz asked, catching sight of his nemesis. "What are you doing here? Well, I know what you're doing here, but why did you just knock? It's very unlike you."

Perry chattered back tiredly.

"Well, come on in then."

He didn't even bother avoiding the trap and zoned out once Doofenshmirtz started going over his evil plan.

"And then- Perry the Platypus are you even listening to me?"

Perry gave an apologetic chatter.

"Are you okay? You seem kinda down today." Perry sighed. He couldn't fight evil like this today, so he mimed writing something down. Doofenshmirtz, actually understanding for once, grabbed him a pad of paper and pen. Perry wrote down a couple of sentences explaining what had happened and passed it back to the scientist.

"Oh. Oh dear. Perry the Platypus, I am so sorry! I had no idea. Is he okay?"

Perry nodded and chattered wearily. Phineas was safe for now and was hopefully only going to get better.

"You know what, let's take the day off. I promise not to do anything evil and you should be home with your boy. He-he's the triangle headed one, right?" Perry nodded in confirmation.

"Well, give him the best from me," Doof said as he showed Perry out. The platypus smiled tiredly and chattered gratefully to him. "Don't even mention it. Bye Perry the Platypus!"

Once he was gone, Doofenshmirtz called Vanessa, who was currently at her mother's house.

"Hey Vanessa, sorry to bother you. Listen, I think you should go visit your friend Candace, maybe take her to the mall or something. Sh-she could probably use a distraction around now. Why you ask?" He looked at the door. "Call it a hunch."