Author's note: Hello you lovely people! I apologise for the delay (again) but, to make up for it, I've got another chapter to put up this afternoon. (When I get out of the bath.)

If you have my Twitter, you may have caught my occasional yelps of "wahey, interwebs" as we trailed across Scotland. If you don't, I've been to Scotland. It was Hell, I couldn't get internet access more than once every couple of days, although I did once get it in the tent. Don't ask me how, I don't know.

I am, however, back. For the moment. So if I normally review your stuff as soon as it goes up, I've got some catching up to do, I know. Love you all.

Ianto held the taxi door open for Gordon and the Croda and climbed in after them. Vulva, wearing a perception filter like the Croda, had got into the front. The taxi driver glanced at Ianto and beamed. "Hey, didn't I see you at Macey's?"

Internally, Ianto punched the air and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Externally, he hid his elation with a frown and shook his head. "I've never been, should I?"

The driver turned back to the front and started fiddling with his Sat-Nav. "Yeah, you have to whilst you're in town. Try a Torchwood, Jack, orange and lemonade."

Vulva looked up sharply. "Did you say Torchwood?"

Ianto nudged the back of her seat to remind her and hoped that she'd buy it. "It' a plant, isn't it?" He covered as casually as he could, whilst nervousness, excitement, relief, adrenaline and gratitude mixed as a heady cocktail.

The driver shrugged. "Never been into gardening, my wife would probably know though."

"It's a genus of plant." Gordon informed them, looking up eventually to see their confused places. "That's the term for the family, like... What?"

"Anyway." Ianto hid a smile. "Macey's did you say?"

"Yeah. Where were you heading again?" The driver asked. "Bloody machine's forgotten the address. Wish they'd upgrade to Atmos, they're supposed to be really good."

Ianto gave him the address. "Did you hear about the ambulance drivers trying to get across London with a Sat-Nav?" He asked.

"Don't hear much from the UK really, what happened to them?"

"They realised they'd gone wrong on the outskirts of Manchester." He frowned. "Promise me we're not going to end up in Manchester?" The driver laughed.

Colonel Rodgers was waiting for them inside UNIT's New York base. She saluted Jack and the General smartly and led them through to the operations room. "Sirs, Miss Sato, we've put a Mace intercept in place. Jones has made it very easy for us by booking a taxi in advance, but we've filled the taxi rank with UNIT cars just in case."

Jack laughed and Tosh smiled. "That's our Ianto." She looked around. "Do you need anything from us?"

"Captain?" Adooya asked, "Are we going to have a tussle over territories and protocols?"

"Settle it with a bit of naked wrestling?" Jack suggested with a wink. "I'm perfectly happy to let UNIT take it, as long as I get to come along."

"Of course. The Prime Minister is, fortunately for me, your responsibility." Adooya pointed out, adding in an undertone, "Although no one here is under any misconception as to whose safety you are most concerned about, Captain."

Jack shrugged. "I don't like politicians."

"You'll like this one." Adooya promised. "Now, if I may make a suggestion, Miss Sato's skills would be best put to use here."

"Of course." She agreed quickly. "What would you like me to do?"

"Colonel Rodgers, if you would show Miss Sato the situation."

She looked up at Jack worriedly. "Bring him back, Jack."

"I will."

"I know you will."

As she left, Adooya suggested, "Captain, we should make a move to the safehouse, if we want to get there before them. The car is waiting."

Jack followed him out to the armoured car and got in the back with him, twitchy at the prospect of sitting back and letting UNIT handle it, despite his acceptance of the fact that they were best placed to handle it. The drive would be his best chance to find out what information they had. "How far is it?"

"About half an hour from here. What do you need to know?"

Jack considered the situation, gathering the questions he needed to ask and prioritising them. He was glad that he was in a position where he could make Ianto's safety his second priority, even if, professionally, the Prime Minister had to come first. "What do they want?"

"Drot's country are at war with another country on his home planet. He is a scientist in the field of interstellar travel, and developed a technology which would advance travel in that part of the galaxy by decades. Unfortunately, in the wrong hands it could be turned into a weapon of mass destruction."

Jack sighed and leaned against the window. "I've heard that one before. So he came here?"

"To prevent his government getting their hands on it. Here, because he underestimated our technological advancement and believed thatw e would not be able to use it?" Adooya sounded affronted.

Jack had to ask, "Could we use it?"

"In fifty years, maybe." He glared at Jack's amused laughter. "The Shadow Proclamation designated them a Grade 5 planet; his work would have advanced them to a Grade 7."

"Speaking of which, have the Proclamation been involved?"

Adooya nodded. "Legal action has already begun. The advantage of this incursion is that it will likely bring an end to their war."

Jack laughed, then frowned. "What happens if the USA puts a man on Mars?"

"I... really don't know. We should check that."

Ianto grinned out of the window as Gordon tried for the third time to explain one of the essential concepts of life. "No, a wicket is taken when a batsman's innings ends. He scores runs whilst he's in the crease, and the other side try to get his wicket. The wicket is..."

"Gordon." Ianto stopped him. "I know how cricket works, and you're not even making sense to me."

Gordon waved a hand. "Cricket defies explanation, it is a beautiful game, one of England's greatest treasures."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "It last five days and they break for afternoon tea. It could only be English. And he Prime Minister is a little sour, because tomorrow play begins at Lords in the Ashes, where England have not won since 1934."

"And what year is it now?" Vulva asked.

The driver stared at hei. "What do you mean, what year is it? It's 2009!"

Hei winked at Ianto. "My point exactly."

Gordon grumbled, "Well, this year they're going to change all that."

"And we won't be there to see it." Ianto sighed. "A great tragedy. My friends in Cardiff were fortunate enough to see the final day of the match there."

"Did you win?"

He coughed. "No, Wales weren't playing." He smiled. "But even England only drew. Still, it was a magnificent draw."

The Croda was perplexed. "How can anything other than victory be magnificent?"

"Cricket," Gordon smiled. "It's another world entirely."

"I don't want to worry you all." The driver said out of nowhere. "But I think the Sat-Nav's on the blink again." They groaned. "No worries, I'll pull in at the next house and find out where we are. And borrow a map."

A female UNIT soldier slipped her gun into the back of her jeans and pulled her blouse down over it again. "Does my bum look big in this?"

Jack chuckled. "It doesn't show. Remember, Ianto is armed, the Croda, or whatever it's called, is in the back between the Prime Minister and Ianto, so Ianto will cover him. You need to get the guard out of the car."

"I know, Captain." She scowled. "I'm covered, right?"

"Yes."Adooya confirmed. "Captain, they're in sight. Sergeant Hilton, time to do the housework."

She groaned and picked up the basket. "My boyfriends will never let me live this down. Sir." She exited to the yard and started hanging the washing on the line.

Jack watched her go and turned back to look at the road. Adooya surprised him by handing him a gun. "Reckon you can act the part of posessive but helpful boyfriend, Captain?"

"Whose? Hers, or Ianto's?" He laughed. "I'm in."

"Remember, concentrate on the Prime Minister, Captain." The General warned.

"Don't worry, I'll be professional. I can sulk about Ianto not speaking to me later." He took his coat off, unclipped his braces and removed his shirt. "Do I look more local now?"

"You'll do." They heard tyres on the gravel outside and Jack looked up at the door. "Here you go, Captain."

After a couple of minutes of tense waiting, Hilton's voice, girlier than they would have believed was possible for her, drifted in. "Honey, can you come out here please?"

"What's her name?" Jack hissed, with hin hand on the door handle.

"Annie. Good luck."

"What's up sweetheart?" He asked, breezing out of the door with his hands in his pockets.

"These gentlemen are looking for Bridgeford, but their Sat-Nav's not working right." She simpered at him. "Jack, sweety, do you think you could have a look at it for them?"

"Well sure, I can take a look. Tell you what, mind if I borrow your seat for a moment?" He asked Vulva.

Hei looked over hir shoulder at the Croda, but shrugged and got out. "I don't see why not."

Jack got in the car and watched Annie pull her gun coolly and pulled his own, beaming as Ianto did the same. "Prime Minister, if you could step out of the vehicle please. Ianto, keep our friend covered. Good to see you again." Their driver had got out quickly and held the door open for Gordon, whilst other soldiers emerged to detain the two aliens.

Ianto nodded a greeting. "You too, Jack. We must stop meeting like this. Although, just this once, I'll let you off. Croda, out of the car please."

"You have betrayed me!" Outside the car, Vulva was being handcuffed and led into the house.

"Out of the car, now." Jack snapped. He could see the ending with a sickening inevitability. "Ianto, out of the car."

"Sir." Ianto fumbled for the door without turning and got out , keeping his gun levelled. "Croda?"

Jack could see that the Croda wasn't going to leave the vehicle voluntarily, and probably not alive. "Croda, what is more important, honour or life?"

The answer was a bolt of energy to his chest and the Croda's head being blown apart by Ianto's gun. Jack swore and gripped hold of the door handle, riding out the pain. He felt the door opening and managed to teady himself against the seat and the dashboard before Ianto was behind him, one arm around his waist and supporting him. "I'm ok." He gasped, feeling breathing becoming easier. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against Ianto and let out a shuddering sigh as Ianto held him tighter. "He's definitely dead?"

"Very. Can you move now, sir?"

Jack was wrong-footed momentarily by the sudden change on Ianto's tone, but pulled himself up so that he could get out of the car more easily. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks."

"No, thank you." Ianto smiled tightly. "It really is good to see you again."

"Captain, Mr Jones." General Adooya approached them. "What happened?"

"He turned honourable." Jack answered, not taking his eyes off Ianto. "Honour means different things to different people."

Ianto looked away from him. "I should check on the Prime Minister."

"Of course. He's having a brief medical check-up, then you will be able to continue on to the conference in Miami."

Ianto managed to convey gratitude and an intense despair at the idea of going on to the conference. "Right, thank you. He's in the house?"

"Right this way."

Jack watched him go in confusion, fairly certain that absolutely nothing had changed between them, but wishing so hard that it had.