Authors Note: Hello readers! Thank you for all of the lovely reviews, follows, and favorites! All of your support motivates me to write these chapters when writer block is getting the best of me! This chapter was originally around 6,000 words, but I decided to cut it in half, so you all will be getting the second half either tonight or tomorrow. Enjoy everyone!
The pairing is still up in the air but this story is going to mostly be plot/action first and romance second. I have never had a Beta before but if anyone has any suggestions or tips on how to find someone to Beta for me I would be so thankful!
Be warned, this is an AU, so things will be different! Adding to the fact that I'm basically inventing my own Cursed Seal do not be surprised if Sakura has an affinity for a charka you aren't used to her having! That being said, I by no means want my version of Sakura to be Mary-Sueish. I'm working on keeping her as true to her original self as possible given the circumstances but if anyone notices that I start slipping please remind me nicely.
Some of the other characters may seem OOC, but it is all for the sake of the plot and will be gradual things, not complete personality change's overnight, people can change, and I was to express that in this story. Also, I do not own the cover for this story!
Constructive criticism is always welcome! Just remember I'm only Human and I do make mistakes.
That's enough of listening to me rant, please enjoy my story!
Title: If I Live
Author: ALightLit (Previously Remy Alvera)
Beta: -
Type: AU
Status: Incomplete - Ongoing.
Rating: T (Rating may change due to maturing characters.)
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto!
Pairing: Undecided.
Chapter Word Count: 3,429
Updated: 3/7/2017
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of blood and kind of gory situations, and Sakura is lowkey going crazy. Nothing too bad but better safe than sorry.
Intro: It took one minute, one choice, and one girl, to mess all of Orochimaru's plans up. Sakura Haruno managed to beat fear – with love. She moved in front of her crush as a last resort. However, every victory has its price.
Inner thoughts.
Normal thoughts.
R&R
"I talk to God but the sky is empty."
― Sylvia Plath
"Paint it black." The voice whispered.
[If I Live]
When Sakura woke up, she wasn't where she expected to be.
I thought I was done with this place?
A blackened landscape surrounded the girl, the only difference was that she sat atop that awfully thick liquid that had nearly drowned her earlier. The water rippled as Sakura slowly stood; someone was screaming in the distance. She wasn't sure where the urge came from, but her instincts screamed for her to go forward, and so the teen did.
Sakura walked.
And walked.
And walked.
She walked until the screaming became louder and the surface she was standing upon became disgustingly sticky and thick, she went for miles on end and didn't stop until she found an ancient tree that was bleached bone white. It stood so high she couldn't see the top of it, and at the base sat a little screaming girl. A little girl that looked exactly like Sakura, the only difference was there was no color anywhere. Everything was varying shades of black and gray.
The screams cut down to Sakura's core, gooseskin rising as she struggled to find a reason to ask the child what was going on, but words were failing her. That was odd, Sakura never had an issue with words before, unless it involved Sasuke-kun. "Why are you screaming?"
The girl snapped her mouth shut and turned to glare at Sakura. Something black was sliding down both her pudgy cheeks and for the life of her Sakura couldn't make sense of the situation.
"Why are you crying?" That seemed like a better question. The girl stared at her with startlingly large eyes, and her lips trembled. Sakura was assaulted suddenly with the bitter realization that this little girl was not just a look alike but was in fact, her. It was odd, to be staring at someone who you had only heard for as long as you could remember. For some reason, Sakura expected Inner to be...older.
"I took it all." Inner whimpered, one of her small, chubby hands was gripping her shoulder fiercely. It was odd, the black liquid that was seeping through her fingers looked an awful lot like the tears on her face. "All of what?" Her usually fast mind was moving at a slug's pace.
"The pain, but I couldn't stop the poison." Inner shook her head slowly, and Sakura's brows furrowed.
"What poison?" She snapped, her patience collapsing in the face of all this confusion. Inner frowned slowly, uncertainty clouding her eyes for a moment before she let out a soft sigh. "You can't see it?" And that's when Sakura realized several things in quick succession.
The roots of the tree Inner sat against were slowly growing around her small frame, wrapping her up and holding her captive, and strange markings were spreading across the girls form until she was fully enveloped in them.
Then the world suddenly had color.
There was blood, so much blood. It dribbled down the cracks and crevices of the great tree. The floor was completely made up of a crimson pool, and the tears, well those weren't tears at all. Horror drove deeper into Sakura than ever before, and she stumbled back. Feet sticking to the foul ground the teen went down hard. She couldn't move; the Pinkett was sinking.
"The poison is the hate and darkness," Inner whispered, bright vermilion bubbled up past her pale lips. Sakura could see her veins beneath the markings, they were turning black. Thin limbs fought harder to stay above the surface, but it was almost near impossible. The further she sank the more the revolting floor seemed like quicksand, there would be no escape, no matter how hard Sakura fought she was stuck.
"I can hold it until you find me again, but for now you'll be stuck with him." Inner smiled around the blood, her eyes were turning black too.
Sakura thrashed around harder, but there was nothing left for her to do. Jerking one pale arm free, the teen reached a blood soaked hand towards Inner. Hopelessness was setting in like teeth to the neck. Her airways were closing off as her panic grew and expanded until she was being suffocated. Sakura had to get out, this couldn't be happening; Inner had been with her for as long as she could remember, and now she was being subjected to watch the shadow of herself wrapped up in a casket of roots.
"Don't lose yourself, Sakura-chan."
[If I Live]
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.
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"Paint it red." The voice hissed.
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[If I Live]
No one had really stuck around after Sakura passed out. Dosu handed off his scroll before he dragged his broken team away into the forest, and while the Hyuga had loitered long enough to stare at Sakura for a few seconds and throw a roll of bandages at Sasuke, he also ran with his team. Ino's team stayed long enough for Shikamaru to shove a spare mesh shirt and standard ninja pants at the pair of boys before he hauled a reluctant Ino and distracted Choji away. After Sasuke tried his best to destroy the evidence of the skirmish that took place, they loaded a lax Sakura onto Naruto's back and also took to the trees in hopes of finding a more suitable place to regroup.
After a few hours, they did manage to find a river and set up camp. It was then that Sakura woke up.
The young girl jerked upright, sea foam eyes darted in every direction as pale, shaking hands flew down to her weapons pouch.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelped, jumping to his feet as an eager smile spread across his tan cheeks. "Are you ok?!"
The girl in question stared dumbly at the blonde for a solid minute, before she blinked slowly and shutters went up behind her eyes; Sakura gave a small nod. "Aa," She whispered, voice hoarse. "I think I am."
"I believe you passed out from chakra exhaustion." Sasuke piped up from behind the pair. His arms were full of a pile of rather thin pathetic looking sticks, which was surprising given the size of the forest Team 7 was currently dwelling within. The Uchiha threw them into the small fire Sakura just realized was in the center of the makeshift camp.
"Naruto and I are going to go fishing to get us some food, there's a secluded bit of the river over there." He nodded behind them, towards the bushes. "You can clean up there, there are spare clothes in your bag." Suddenly, Sasuke and Naruto both looked very uncomfortable and for a moment Sakura thought it was because her clothes were covered in blood and singed looking.
"There are bandages with the clothes, so you can wrap any wounds." Sasuke abruptly spun around, snatched Naruto up by the collar of his jacket, and dragged the boy a decent distance away. "Shout if you need anything."
Sakura stiffly stood and grabbed her bag before moving towards the area her raven haired teammate pointed out.
Sure enough, the river broke off to a small pull of water that was deep enough to go up to Sakura's chest and big enough to fit at least two people comfortably. She wasted no time stripping out of the rank clothes and all but jumped into the cold, clear water. From there, the teen spent a painstakingly long time cleaning herself, her movements were slow, jerky, and distracted.
Her shoulder throbbed to the beat of her heart, and while the mark itself wasn't quite causing Sakura pain, the throbs were more than uncomfortable and she felt that if she moved the wrong way in the slightest, or pulled on just a whisp of her chakra, the pain would be unbearable. Needless to say, the Pinkett wasn't eager to test her theories. So instead, she cleaned the dried blood and sweat from her body, ran tense fingers through uneven candyfloss teases until all of the knots were gone, and then she got out.
There was so much swirlingly around in her head, she couldn't seem to focus on one thing but Sakura felt that if she didn't find a way to ground herself soon she would lose control again. Quickly wrapping her chest with the bandages before slipping on the mesh shirt, the girl ignored the blood that wouldn't seem to wash off her hands. She also had to wrap the ankles of the black Ninja pants, they were too long for her short frame.
That left Sakura with just enough to wrap her arm (the one she had elbow deep in someone's chest but she was not thinking about that) the skin from her fingers halfway up to her elbow had weird bruises and shallow cuts from the strange lighting she had channeled- (the stuff that was as black as night and cold as ice and that cut through that boy like he was paper.) -but Sakura was not thinking about that right now, she was counting backward from one hundred instead.
[If I Live]
No one talked about what happened.
Sakura was sure it was because Sasuke was dragging Naruto away everytime the boy tried to bring up the subject, and in a way she was grateful. Sakura had heard one voice her entire life and never told anyone about it, she certainly wasn't about to tell anyone about this new voice.
Maybe you are going insane?
The girl twitched, and nearly missed the branch she jumped to. If either of the boy's noticed they didn't say anything.
It's not just voice's, is it Sakura-chan? She ground her teeth and refrained from squeezing her conflicted emerald eyes shut. The shadow that was keeping up with her - right next to her left side - wasn't a person, and it wasn't a genjutsu. There was something wrong with her, she realized, there seemed to be a constant trickle of foreign chakra running through her system because of this strange mark. Sakura could feel her reserves carving themselves out to deepen, but her body couldn't quite keep up with the overflow and as result, her usual perfect chakra control was crumbling.
"Sakura, did you hear what I said?" Sasuke's voice broke her concentration, and she did miss a branch this time.
Oh look, you're falling.
Sakura blinked as the ground came closer at an alarming rate, but before she could land in a graceless heap the girl felt strong arms wrap around her waist, and the landing - while it still jarred her shoulder painfully, was much more gentle than what it could have been.
"You should be more careful," Kabuto mumbled close to Sakura's ear, making the girl jerk back. The way the pair had fallen was a bit awkward, though the silver haired boy had originally landed on his feet, the extra weight made him fall back, and Sakura was sprawled against his chest.
"Let go." She huffed, cheeks taking on a pink hue.
Be careful of this one. The voice cooed, and Sakura found herself tensing. She weakly threw herself back away from Kabuto, who looked mildly surprised.
"Sakura-chan!" Two thuds landed on either side of the fallen girl, both armed and ready for a fight, but Kabuto merely raised his hands in surrender before he stood up slowly.
"Relax," He warned. "I'm not looking for a fight, I was just trying to help."
"Help how?" Sasuke ground out, as Naruto helped Sakura to her feet.
"Look, I don't want any problems." Kabuto lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug before he pulled out two scrolls. "I already have what I need to pass this exam, no point in stealing from newbies."
The next few minutes were tense ones, but Kabuto merely turned down any chance of a fight with a chuckle and the offer to help the team find a scroll instead. So they took to the trees once more in search of a team to find. The plan was to ambush someone near the tower but naturally, nothing went as planned for team 7.
[If I Live]
If I were you, I would move.
Five seconds. Kabuto latched onto Sakura while Sasuke grabbed Naruto; they all fell.
The tree behind them exploded.
Paperbombs on the tree. Sasuke winced as the debris blew towards the two boys, the strength of the explosion sent both of them hurtling to the ground at alarming speeds. Naruto had just enough time to summon some clones to soften the blow (as much as falling on a hundred Naruto's could soften a landing) then instantly had to dive in another direction before the tree the pair landed next to exploded as well.
Five seconds.
Kabuto retreated a distance with Sakura who had gone oddly still in his arms as explosions shook the forest. He held her carefully before noting her eyes were closed. Was she talking to herself? Ah well, he didn't have time to dwell on that because everything was blowing up.
Kunai were raining down on Naruto and Sasuke and before either of them could make another hasty retreat the ground crumbled beneath them. They wouldn't make it if they didn't move fast-
(Two from above, one below, there was no escape.)
-everything went white as an explosion blasted the two boys away. Kabuto swung himself and Sakura behind a tree just in time.
Silence, there was silence.
No, there will never be silence for you.
Sakura watched as her team blew up up up upupupupup and someone was screaming (It was her) as the world turned red.
She was overcome with emotion, waves of guilt, hate, fear, and a mind crushing sorrow crashed over her like waves to a shore and there was no stopping it. There was no time to pause and think, there were only five seconds.
Five seconds to be afraid.
Thunder rumbled as Sakura shot forward, pinpointing the exact positions of her attacks by chakra alone. She could feel the mark spreading, taking in her tidal wave of emotions and feeding off them.
Kill them all.
Everything was red and Kabuto found himself more surprised than he had been in quite some time.
(Lungs aching, pulse thundering, she could barely manage shallow gasps of breath. She could hold it in, just a little longer.)
Preview
"Do you know what you're doing, Naruto?"
"What kind of question is that?!" There was a pause, "I never know what I'm doing!"
His smile was blinding and rather infectious.
Things you might want to know:
Why did I take so long to update?
I'm a piece of trash.
Actually, once I started writing this chapter I just couldn't stop. I felt like no matter what point I got to it wasn't enough, so even when my deadline came up I couldn't post the chapter because it didn't feel right to me yet. Of course, once I was done and started to proof read I realized there was, in fact, a perfect point to stop at that might piss you all off beautifully and so I am also evil.
/ / /
Why is Sakura going insane?
I can't give too much away on this, but I can say it will be revealed later in the story. Just keep in mind the origins of Cursed Seals and the fact that the one she received was more or less a complete test. I can't make up for the plot hole much that is "Why would Orochimaru give Sasuke a dangerous curse seal when he wants him so bad?" but what I can say is that all Orochimaru knew about the seal he made was that it was powerful. Seeing as he wanted Sasuke as powerful as possible I don't think he would have cared much, and if he hadn't lived then surely he wouldn't be a strong enough host for Orochimaru anyway, I think I can get away with it, ne?
/ / /
How are things changing?
Well, I don't remember any paper bombs being around in the Chunin exams, can you? Anywho them battling the same team as in the Chunin would be lame. This one is more flashy, sou? (bad pun intended)
/ / /
Why cut the chapter in half and not post the whole thing?
I had already edited and proofread this half to the best of my ability, and I didn't want you all to have to wait longer for the next chapter, so it's cut. Also, if it seems like I'm cutting certain scenes, it's because I am. No point in reading the same unavoidable stuff anyway. Things start to change more as this progresses but for now, the few things I can't change are going to be breezed over. Nothing any of you will really miss anyway, and if you do I apologize.
/ / /
! The most amazing artist I have the pleasure of knowing has agreed to make me a cover for this story under commission! I am so so siked to see how it turns out and you all should go take a gander at her art! Her user tag online is Shubbabang and you all can find her on Tumblr, Twitter, Patron, and she does streams on Twitch which I am almost always watching! All you have to look up is 'Shubbabang' to find her. Her commissions are currently open as well! !
/ / /
Question for this chapter - Thing's you would be interested in Sakura learning?
The Rolling Stones - Paint It, Black is the unofficial official song for this chapter.
The 'Five Seconds' stuff was a tribute to She Rises by Paradisical815. It's an amazing Batman story!
Please Read and Review! They give me so much courage!
-Lalit