Part III: Family Matters
Chapter: The Monster under my Bed
A few days later.
Myers sat by the kitchen table with Kat. He was holding a cup of coffee in his hands, and the look in his face told Kat, that he wasn't alright.
"So, how is it?" Kat asked. "It's been two days. How's Margot holding up?"
Myers shook his head, and gave a desperate sigh.
"The truth? I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?" Kat was annoyed. "You always know what she thinks and feels."
"Yeah, before." Myers snapped. "But now? She… she doesn't let me touch her."
There was an agonized look in his eyes, one that made Kat suddenly nervous.
"You mean… that you haven't-"
"Yeah."
"You haven't touched her, at all? Since she came back? Not even-"
"No, not even the slightest touch. She doesn't let me."
Kat frowned.
"Damn." she said, taking a seat. "You have any idea why?"
Myers turned his eyes to his coffee. He looked miserable, which made Kat feel really bad for him. It had been the worst, that they had lost Margot to that bitch of a Goddess - but now that she was back here, and things were still like Hell? It sucked, big time.
"I think it's something that happened when she was away." Myers finally replied, his voice resigned. "She hasn't talked about it, not a word. And she doesn't let me see. I've tried… I've tried everything. She just won't open up to me."
"I'm sorry, kid." Kat said. "I didn't know things were this bad."
She had come by, of course, many times during these past few days. But every time she had been here, Margot had either been asleep, or she had been laying on the bed, looking pale and exhausted, saying to Kat that she just needed to rest.
And Kat had thought, she'd be fine in a few days. It was natural, that she was tired after spending two months as a hypnotized priestess to a crazy-ass Goddess. Not to mention the 'almost dying' thing.
But now Kat began to suspect, there was more to it, than she had thought.
"Maybe it's some kind of a post traumatic stress disorder?" she suggested. "Has she seen the shrink already?"
Myers shook his head. "No, not yet. She's been so tired, that I didn't want to force her. But yeah, you're right. She totally should do it."
"I'll call Dr. Sasson. She's great, or so I hear."
"Yeah, she is." Myers agreed. "I saw her a couple of times after getting shot, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. True." Kat had almost forgotten. So much had happened in these past, almost two years, that sometimes it was hard to keep it all in her mind.
Margot stared at the bathroom mirror, leaning heavily on the sink.
She hated everything she saw.
Her hair, it wasn't hers, it was too thick, too long, too different. Her breasts, the weird, large things on her chest. She hated the way they moved when she walked, and how she could feel them all the time. Nothing in her closet fit her anymore, even her favorite oversized T-shirts now clung to her chest making her look like a Victoria's Secret model.
Her face, pale and haunted, her lips weird looking, definitely fuller than they had been, her eyelashes long and dark as if she was wearing mascara, even if she wasn't.
She had made her like this.
The Goddess.
Margot shook her head to drive her image out of her mind, but it didn't work.
It never worked.
For the Goddess hadn't altered just her appearance, but she had changed her soul too. The true changes, those that really mattered, were like daggers in her heart, like poison in her soul and they never gave her peace.
The Goddess was in her head, all the time, in sleep as in awake, in her every thought, like a hollow ache. Or rather the fact, that she wasn't in her head, not anymore. That she was gone. The Goddess had gone, and left her here, disfigured and damaged, feeling nothing but the horrible guilt and emptiness in her head, the feeling of… not belonging.
For she didn't belong in this place. Not anymore.
The Goddess had modified her, she had used her and made her something else than she had been. And then… the dying. It had felt like her heart had been carved out of her chest, and after that - the fall. Spinning into darkness. Into the strange forest, and the to the pond which's black depths reflected the hopelessness of her soul.
A foolish thing to do, to take Jay's hand and think she could live again.
A child's wish, nothing more.
It had been long time coming for her, the payback time. How many deaths did she have on her conscious? Too many to count, and other sins to add.
A child's wish, to think she could come back and continue the dream she had had with John.
There she should've stayed. In the darkness, alone, with only the wind and the willows to keep her company. Until it would have been time to cross the river.
You should be dead.
Who do you think you are? Walking this Earth like you had a right to do so?
The image of the woman she didn't recognize as herself, stared back at her from the mirror. There was a mocking grin on her face, one that she didn't feel on her own lips.
You are a slut. You are a murdered.
You are a whore. You are a killer.
"No." Margot breathed, her hands shaking. "Shut up."
But the Margot in the mirror tilted her head and scorned at her.
Can't stand the truth? You killed them, all of them. Their blood is in your hands, priestess. Just take a look.
She glanced down, against her will, and a shocked gasp escaped her lips.
There was blood, dripping to the sink, dripping from her hands.
"No…" she gasped. "It can't be, I-"
But the image in the mirror laughed at her.
You thought you could escape? You can never do that. You can never be free.
Taking a hesitating step back, Margot lifted her hands. Up to her elbows, the were covered in thick, red liquid. Human blood, she knew. And in the sink, a heart, still beating - fresh and pure, just ripped from the chest of a beautiful young man.
Margot stared at it, feeling sick to her bones. Her breathing was shallow, her head spinned. Panicking, she leaned her back to the wall.
"This can't be real." she exhaled. "I… I didn't-"
But you did.
You did it.
"No!" Margot screamed. "Shut up! Leave me in peace!"
She clenched her fists, and the mirror exploded. Sharp shrapnel of glass flew around the bathroom, some hitting her, cutting her skin so that there was blood, but she hardly noticed.
Kat sipped on her tea, and watched as Myers glanced nervously towards the bedroom. She knew what went through his mind - now days he was always worried, when Margot wasn't in his sight. These past months had been hard on Myers, and he still didn't look like himself. But who could blame him? Losing Margot like that… it would have brought any man to his knees. To think of it, it might be a good idea if Myers spoke to Dr. Sasson too.
She made a mental note to suggest it to him later.
"So… you say she still hasn't told you anything about the things that happened during this summer?" Kat asked.
That was something, that made Kat very worried. If Margot didn't speak, it meant one thing only. That she had something to hide. And that was never a good thing.
"Not a word. And to make it worse, Manning's pushing me about it. He want's Margot to report to him, but how can she do that? She's so goddamn weak, she can't even get out the room!"
"Manning can go fuck himself." Kat spat out. "I'll never forgive him for giving up on Margot like that. Has he even apologized?"
Myers raised an eyebrow and made a snort.
"Manning apologizing? Yeah, right!"
But just then there was a noise - glass breaking. They both startled, and were on their feet on a heartbeat.
You should be dead.
Now there was no image in the mirror, but the voice didn't leave her be.
You should be dead.
She tried to cover her ears, to stop hearing the words, but it didn't help. It echoed in her mind, and there was no escaping.
You should be dead.
"Please, just… please. Don't."
Time for the redemption. Blood for blood, a life for a life.
"No… I can't!"
You should be dead.
"But… but what about John?"
What about him? You tried to kill him. You tried to rip his heart off his chest.
"It wasn't me. I didn't know who he was. Had I known, I never would have…"
But it was you. You would have killed him. Why would he stay with a woman who tried to rip his heart off?
"I came back for him." Margot's voice was nothing but a faint whisper. In her heart she had already given up. "I love him."
Yes. But do you think he would love you if he knew? That's why you haven't let him touch you. You know that he'll hate you if he ever learns the truth! That it was you, who killed all those men. That he has been nurturing a monster in his bed.
Margot fell to the floor, hiding her face to her hands. She was sobbing now, silent tears falling to her cheeks. From far, far away, she heard voices, like someone calling her name, but it felt like the calls came from another reality. A dream, perhaps. There was blood in her hands, and she knew it wouldn't wash away, no matter how hard she tried.
"John, I'm so sorry."
He'll never forgive you. No one will, if they find out what you did.
Sobbing, she grabbed a piece of glass, stuck it deep into her arm and sliced.
Blood for blood.
"Aaagh…!" she groaned, and struck again, deeper, to silence the voice in her mind.
You should be dead.
The blood began to flow, this time hers, and it washed away the blood of the victims. She watched it in relief, the flow of her pure, red blood that cleaned her hands and her heart.
Again, and again she cut, until her hands shook and she couldn't hold the sharp, slick piece of glass anymore.
Finally.
As it should be.
She leaned her back on the wall, waiting for the darkness to take her.
"Margot?!" Myers called out, rushing to the bedroom.
But there was no answer.
The bed was empty, Margot was nowhere to be seen.
"Fuck!" Kat cursed. How come they had not heard, that Margot was up? She glanced around, to notice that Myers was already by the bathroom door. He tried the doorknob, but the door was locked.
"Margot?!" he asked again. "Are you alright?"
No answer, but they heard muffled voices through the door. Like someone was crying.
Myers banged on the door.
"Open the door, Margot. Now!" he commanded. His voice was tense and stretched. "Margot! Come on!"
Kat shifted nervously from foot to foot. Something wasn't right. She felt it, in her bones, like a chilling east wind that blew right through her.
"I'll get us in." she said. "Give me your hand."
But Myers had already taken a step back. He kicked the door with force, and it gave in, opening with a loud crack.
"Fuck!" he cursed, rushing in, Kat on his heels. "Margot, damn it!"
Margot sat on the floor, leaning her back on the wall, and everything was in blood. It looked like a slaughterhouse - the white floor tiles gleamed red, there were spatters on the walls, and Margot's pyjamas were soaked.
Myers went down on his knees by her side, grabbing her shoulders. His hands went to her hair, to hold her face, and feeling his touch Margot's half closed eyelids stirred. She made a faint voice, like a sob.
"Jesus…!" Myers cursed. "Margot, come on, stay with me!"
But Margot's eyes closed, and it was clear she didn't hear him anymore.
Myers was panicking, grabbing Margot like his life depended on her, his eyes wide with fear.
"I'm losing her! Kat, get help!"
"We need to stop the bleeding!" Kat snapped. She reached for a towel, and pressed it on Margot's arm. It got soaked of her blood in seconds.
Damn, fuck that stupid, stupid girl! She had managed to reach the radial artery, and even if Kat knew it was unlikely to die from cutting it, it wasn't impossible. She pressed the towel on Margot's arm and lifted the arm up over her head.
"Fuck, Kat! Can you get help already?!" Myers shouted, his hands still holding Margot's face. Kat glanced on her bluish lips, her bloodstained cheeks that were a way too pale, and did a split-second decision.
"I'll get us to the hospital wing. Faster that way."
Outside of Margot's hospital room, a bunch of gloomy people gathered to talk about what had happened.
"You could call this a habit." said Jay, leaning his back on the wall. "It's not that I don't enjoy being the hero, and saving damsels in distress, but having to get the same one out of trouble twice in one week? We should definitely get a raise, don't you think brother?"
"Jay, please." said Andu. "We hardly do this for money."
"True. Besides, when we don't get paid at all, we can't get a raise." He winked at Myers. "You think you could do something about that? Man's got to eat after all."
"Shut up, Jay." said Kat, giving him an angry glance. "He's not really the boss even if I call him that."
"He isn't? And yet he has the looks of a leader. The brooding, misunderstood and lonely-"
"This might all be a joke to you, Jay, but the rest of us are wondering what the Hell happened. You were the one who brought Margot back from the dead - you sure it went like it was supposed to? Because the Margot I knew, would never do something like this!"
"Hey! How am I supposed to know?" Jay defended himself. "I've never done that before! I found her and brought her home, end of the story. Sorry for not staying behind on the death world to check if she left her reason there."
"But, why?!" Myers spoke up for the first time. His face was pale, and blood stained, his voice shaking with emotion he couldn't hide. "Why would she do something like this? You said that she didn't want to die, that she wanted to come back!"
"Well, yeah. But she did have a Goddess in her head." Jay shrugged. "That can be pretty confusing."
"Confusing?! You son of a... She fucking tried to slit her wrists!" Myers shouted, which made Kat give him a glance. Yeah, the emotion in his voice, was definitely anger - rage even.
"Her injuries are now healed." Answered Andu, always the diplomat. "Do not fear, John. She'll make a full recovery."
"Physically." Added Jay. "Her mind is still a bag of cats."
"Well, isn't that great." Myers voice was full of stabbing irony. "And let me guess, you can't do a thing about it."
"John, there are some wounds we can heal, some we cannot." Andu said. "Mental issues are out of our reach, I'm afraid. She needs other kind of help."
"Yeah?" Myers said. "Well, I've been trying to get her see a shrink for days."
"She's going to have to do that now." Kat said. "Or I'll beat the crap out of her."
"You do that." Myers stated. "I've had enough."
"Hey, where are you going?" Kat asked, but Myers had already turned his back on them, and was walking away, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets.
"Away from here!" was his grouchy answer.
Kat watched him go with a disbelief. Was she the only grown up here?
"Great!" she sounded exasperated. "Anyone else want to just take off, and leave the problem to me?"
"Nice how you address your best friend as 'a problem'." noted Jay. "Though I agree with you on this one. She's trouble."
"Jay, I swear I'll strangle-"
"Babe, calm down." Hellboy said to Kat, who was steaming. "Com'ere."
"Don't you 'babe' me." Kat snapped, but not too convincingly, for she let Hellboy reached to pull her near, and to give a quick kiss on the top of her head. Damn, feeling the heat of the strong, rock hard muscles of his arm around her, was enough to make her weak on the knees. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle closer to him, to let him kiss her and make her forget all about this crappy morning.
But she couldn't do that now. No matter how angry and hopeless she felt, there were still things to be done.
"Red, can you please go after Myers. The last thing I want is him doing something as stupid as Margot. He wasn't himself."
"Yeah, okay, I'll check on him. But you can't blame the kid. Margot pulled a shitty stunt on him."
Kat sighed. "I agree with you on that one, but she's still my friend. And I'm gonna kick her ass for this."
"Good." said Jay. "But don't go too hard on her - it's such a pretty ass."
Kat rolled her eyes. "Jay, thanks for fixing her - again - but can you please just shut up? I'm not in the mood of your wise-ass comments."
"None of us are." noted Andu. "But please, excuse me - I'll go and check on the patient."
"No, let me." Kat said. "I'll have to face her sooner or later."
Andu replied with a concerned glance, which was meant to remind Kat that he was actually a doctor, whereas Kat wasn't. It annoyed Kat more than she liked to admit.
"I'll manage, okay?" she snapped. "I'll call you if she needs more meds or something."
With that, she pushed open the door of the hospital room, and stepped inside.