Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a book of the same title by Radclyffe. I do not own this work of fiction or any of the story or characters in this, nor the original Safe Harbor and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.

Chapter Ten

'Morning Chief,' Fate said when she entered the station an hour later.

'What are you doing here?' Lanster asked abruptly.

'Sir?' Fate questioned in surprise, halting halfway to her desk.

'Didn't you just finish the night shift two hours ago?'

'Yes, sir, but I'm scheduled to work today -'

'Testarossa,' the Sheriff said with a sigh, 'you're a civilian now. I know I told you that you needed to be available twenty-four hours a day if I needed you, but I didn't mean that you actually had to work twenty-four hours a day!'

'I know that, Chief, but I offered to take Lowran's shift without asking you, and I fully expected to work today. I'm fine - I slept last night between shifts. I'm used to sleeping at odd hours.'

He looked at her in exasperation, but he wasn't angry. She didn't have any idea how unusual she was. Any other officer, no matter how good they might be, would have jumped at the chance to be relieved of a shift. She seemed to actually want to take hers. He knew she didn't have a family, and probably hadn't had much of an opportunity to make friends, but at the rate she was going, she never would. That she seemed perfectly content with her solitary life, and her work, perplexed him. It would have been odd, even in a man, but in a young woman like her, he was at a loss to figure it.

'Okay, okay. But no more doubles unless I approve it.' He caught the flicker of unease in her usually impenetrable gaze. 'What?'

She faced him, squaring her shoulders, unconsciously coming to attention. 'I told Lowran I would take the last half of the night shift until his baby is born. It shouldn't be more than a few days. I didn't clear it with you because you told me that as Deputy Sheriff I had clearance to reorganize the shifts as needed.'

'I was thinking more along the lines of an emergency when I told you that, Testarossa. Although having a baby certainly feels like an emergency at the time.'

He shrugged in defeat, leaning back in his swivel chair to gaze up at his tall second-in-command. 'Go ahead, Fate, but take time off during the day if you need it. I'm depending on you to keep things organized around here this summer. We've got a small force, compared to the crowds well have to deal with, and Lowran probably won't be worth a fart in a wind storm once his kid is born.'

'Yes, sir. Thank you,' Fate replied.

'Speaking of kids, did my sister show up at your place for her class this morning?'

'Yes, she did.'

'On time?'

'She was early.'

'Good. I thought she must either have been up and out early, or that she slept through it. She didn't answer when I knocked on her door this morning.'

Fate was pretty sure that Teana hadn't been home at all the night before, and she was uncomfortable keeping that from her boss, a man she was coming to like. On the other hand, Teana wasn't exactly a child, and Fate felt she owed her the chance to work things out with her brother in her own way. At least for the time being she had given her word to keep silent. Besides, she was fairly certain she could keep an eye on Teana's night-time excursions, now that she was aware of them. She said nothing.

'She do okay?' he asked gruffly. He felt like he knew less and less about his only family with each passing day. They didn't talk as they used to when she was small, when he seemed to have all the answers to her endless questions. Now he didn't have a clue as to what motivated his sister, or what might make her happy. He couldn't help but think that if their parents were still alive, they would know what to do with this headstrong girl.

'She did very well.'

'Yeah?' he said with a smile of pride. 'Good.'

'Who's out on traffic?' Fate asked, not wanting to linger on the topic of Teana. 'Vice?'

'Yeah. Things won't get busy until eleven or so when the tour buses start arriving.'

'I'm going to catch up on some paper work then, and go out around noon. That okay?'

'Sure. I have to be at the town meeting at ten. There's likely to be some heat over the move to build that condo unit out at the end of six. The mayor wants me to talk about the manpower shortage, and more tourist influx. Same old story.'

'Mariel coming in for the phones?'

'Eleven till five.'

'Right,' Fate said, pulling a stack of evaluation forms, payroll vouchers, and other employee paperwork in front of her. 'I'll catch up with you at town hall then.'

Tiida Lanster nodded and tossed a wave as he headed out the door.

Fate left several hours later, leaving her patrol car at Town Hall and walking west along Commercial to get lunch at the deli. She carried her sandwich to a small sitting area behind the Galleria, a collection of shops catering to the tastes of quick stop tourists who wanted a piece of 'authentic' Cape Cod memorabilia. The deck in the rear was equipped with picnic tables and a great view of the harbor. Fate sat on the bench with her back to the table so she could watch the tide on its way out. The sight and smell of the water settled her in some deep way that she had no words for. She only knew she would never live far from the ocean again.

She glanced east along the shore, trying to pick out her mother's studio. An image of her mother and father and her on one of their rare family outings to the beach came to her. It hadn't been too long before her mother left. She had never asked him about her mother, had never tried to find her before now. She wondered why that had been. Her father and she were as close as a stern, reserved man and a solitary, private daughter could be. She respected him, even if she did not always agree with him, and he was proud of her accomplishments. He was deeply disappointed when she left active duty, even though she remained in the reserves, and they had not spoken since her move to Provincetown. He did not know she had contacted her mother; she wasn't even sure he knew that his ex-wife lived here. Fate knew she needed to call him soon, but she wasn't sure quite what to say.

That thought brought Teana Lanster to mind, and the rift that seemed to be growing between her and Tiida. Maybe part of it was the inherent friction arising when a sibling has to take on a parental role, but Fate knew that for Teana it was much more than that. There was the complication of her sexuality to be dealt with. If she were to help Tea in any real way, she needed to know more about that.

She stood, adjusted her cap against the suns glare, and moved quickly through the crowded aisle back to the street. A few minutes later she was at the gym.

Alto greeted her with a grin. 'Hey you - anything new?'

'Nope,' Fate replied, grinning back. 'But I would like to talk to you. Can you get away sometime this afternoon?'

'How about now? Annie's here. She can watch the place. Is this business or pleasure?'

'Let's say its personal,' Fate responded.

'Damn! You're a tough woman to get information out of!'

Fate nodded toward the door. 'Come on. Let's take a walk.'

They joined the crowds, and started toward the far west end of Commercial Street. There the narrow one-way road joined the confluence of six A and Route six at the jetty that led to Long Point. They didn't say much until they had settled on the same bench where Fate and Nanoha Takamachi had sat the previous day. Fate scanned the narrow, treacherous walkway, amazed once again that Nanoha had braved it.

'So, what's up?' Alto asked, startling Fate for a second.

Fate pushed the image of Nanoha's face from her mind.

'Did you know that you were a lesbian when you were a teenager?'

'I had a pretty good idea,' Alto answered.

'How did you handle it?'

'I tried to kill myself,' Alto said after a moment.

Fate stared at her intently, her chest tight, sorrow for Alto's pain mixed with rage at a world that would drive a young person to such desperation. Her jaw clenched while she searched for words. 'Can you tell me about it?' she asked at last.

Alto gazed out to the ocean, lost in memory.

'It wasn't quite as dramatic as you might imagine. I grew up in a little town in the middle of nowhere. My parents were good, hardworking people without much imagination. I was a surprise, you might say. From the time I was small I preferred boy's clothes, boy's games, boy's toys. All I wanted for my birthday was a six-shooter and a pair of jeans. My parents thought if they bought me dolls, I would forget about the guns. It didn't work. By the time I was ten, I was in love with the rec director at the playground down the street. She was tough and taught the girls to play baseball, and if I got there before everyone else, she would play catch with me. I got there early every day for an entire summer. By twelve I had a special girlfriend I would gladly have died for. We went everywhere together, spent every night in one another's houses, and slept over with each other frequently. We never touched, not in a sexual way, but there was no doubt that I loved her in the way boys and girls do. Our friendship lasted into high school. One day, when we were sixteen, she told me she had been to bed with her boyfriend. Up until then, we had both dated, but no one had ever come between us. At that moment, my life changed forever. I knew then that she didn't feel what I felt, and never would. She was no longer mine, in the deepest part of herself, the way she had been. It broke my heart, and there was no one to tell.'

Alto paused, and Fate could see the pain of memory etched in the lines around her mouth.

'I'm sorry,' Fate began, knowing there were no words to heal this particular sorrow.

Alto shook her head. 'It was a long time ago, but it was probably the greatest pain of my life. I had no idea what was to become of me. It felt like everything beautiful in my life disappeared. My innocence certainly died. I couldn't stand the pain, and I knew I felt the way I did because I was somehow very different from my girlfriends. I had no name for it, except 'Queer,' and I knew that was not a good thing to be. So, I started to drink, and managed to stay drunk through my last year in high school. That's what I meant when I said I tried to kill myself. It wasn't pretty, but it was very nearly effective.'

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking off the vestiges of the past. Turning questioning eyes to Fate, she asked, 'What made you ask?'

'A girl,' Fate said. 'A girl who can't tell her…parent she's in love with another girl. She acts pretty tough, but I get the feeling she's scared. Mostly scared that someone will keep them apart, I think. I'm trying to understand what that's like.'

'Why?' Alto asked, not with censure, but with true curiosity. 'What makes you care?'

Fate shrugged. 'I have a feeling she's not the only kid in town in this situation, Provincetown being what it is. She says she has nowhere to go to be with her girlfriend. I need to understand what life is like for these kids if I'm going to interact with them fairly.'

'They're not like other kids, Fate. They have to fight hard to survive. Most of the time the whole world tells them they shouldn't be the way they are. They shouldn't dress the way they do, they shouldn't enjoy the things they do, and God knows, they shouldn't love the way they do. The boys get beat up, or they act out sexually all over the place in unsafe ways, and more often than not, the girls who admit to themselves what they feel end up leaving school or underachieving. If they're not being self-destructive with drugs or alcohol, they're getting into trouble some other way. You'll do them more harm than good if you try to prevent them from being who they are. That's about all they have.'

'I can't let them have sex in dark alleys or under the pier!'

'Why not?'

'Because it's not safe! If I can't see them, I can't protect them! If a group of redneck toughs stumbles across two boys, or two girls for that matter, making out in some dark corner, they could do them real damage!'

Alto nodded in reluctant agreement. 'You've got a point, but there isn't much you can do about it. They have to be together somewhere, and most likely it won't be at parties, or dances, or at each other's homes the way it is for straight kids. These kids feel like outcasts, and just about everything they see and hear reinforces that. They don't have much alternative to the dunes or the piers if they want privacy.'

'A coffee house?'

'Good idea, but you have to remember that although Provincetown looks like the center of the gay world, most of these lesbians and gay boys don't live here. After the season ends, this town is about as prejudiced as any other. And the few gay kids aren't going to want to make any public announcements, I wouldn't imagine.'

'But at least for the four or five months of the season they can blend in a little,' Fate observed, beginning to see the dilemma Teana and her girlfriend faced. 'Isn't there some place these kids can go?'

Alto nodded. 'There's a little hole in the wall out on Shank Painter Road that caters to the kids. The music is god-awful, and the foods even worse, but at least they're welcome there. A couple of old queens own the place. They don't sell alcohol until ten o'clock at night, which is how they get around having under age kids in the bar.'

'That's just up the road from the station,' Fate remarked, wondering if Tiida Lanster gave the place any thought. He certainly hadn't mentioned it to her as place she ought to keep an eye on.

'Yeah. I think they're calling it The Lavender Lounge this year.'

'Thanks, Alto. The information helps. I didn't know about this place. I'll have to drop by.'

'Fate,' Alto warned, 'if you go in there looking like a cop, you're going to scare some kids away. They don't have much as it is.'

'Point taken,' Fate remarked. 'I'll go in disguise.'

'Yeah, right. With that posture, and that walk, she just about screams 'cop.' Alto chuckled. 'Try to blend in. Better yet, take a date.'

'Are you volunteering?'

'Hell no. Then you'd just be more obvious,' she laughed. She grew thoughtful, then smirked, suggesting, 'Why don't you ask the doc! She can interpret for you.'

'I hardly think I need a guide,' Fate said, uncomfortable with the conversation suddenly.

'I just meant, she's a lesbian, and she's good with the kids,' Alto said, not missing her friend's discomfort. 'Hey, Fate! Did you ever have a crush on one of your girlfriends?'

Fate stood abruptly, her face expressionless. 'I didn't have any girlfriends. All my friends were Marines.'

As Alto joined her for the walk back to town, she wondered about the strange life her new friend had lived.