Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a book of the same title by Radclyffe. I do not own this work of fiction or any of the story or characters in this, nor the original Safe Harbor and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.

Chapter Twelve

At six-twenty the next morning, Nanoha passed Teana Lanster in the driveway of Fate's house. The split-level cedar shingled dwelling stood on a hill overlooking the wetlands at the end of Bradford Street. Nanoha turned to greet the teenager as she took a moment to appreciate the view. Teana followed her gaze out over the marshes and dunes. They were alive with the flutter of gulls and other birds searching for breakfast.

'Hey, Tea,' Nanoha said, 'pretty spectacular morning!'

'Yeah, I guess,' the teen responded unenthusiastically.

'Tough class?'

Teana's face brightened. 'No, it was great. Sensei's teaching me to breakfall!'

'Already! Hey, that's terrific!'

Teana looked away, her smile fading. 'Yeah.'

Nanoha had the feeling the youth was about to say more when she abruptly mumbled a goodbye and retreated hastily. Nanoha wished she knew how to make a connection with her. Each time she saw Teana, she seemed a little more withdrawn, and a little more unhappy.

Nanoha hastened up the drive, wanting to be on time. The side door to the attached garage was open, and she stepped over the sill into a large square space that was almost completely covered with tatami mats, a traditional shock absorbent material found on the floors of most dojos in Japan. Along the near wall were a bench and a rack for shoes. On the wall opposite the bench was a small hand-carved shelf with a vase of flowers, several ornamental statues, and a picture of a formidable appearing Japanese man. Nanoha bowed in the direction of the kamiza, or traditional altar, to show her respect for the training hall and Fate's teacher, then slipped her shoes onto the rack provided. Fate had been kneeling on the mat with her eyes closed when Nanoha entered, and she looked up now with a smile.

'Welcome. I'm glad you could make it.'

'Thanks. I've been looking forward to it.' As she spoke, Nanoha sat down, leaning over to remove the metal brace from her right leg. She replaced it with a much lighter short plastic air cast that prevented her ankle from dropping into its paralyzed position.

'Tell me about that,' Fate said, indicating the support.

Nanoha's hands tightened and her shoulders grew tense with the automatic resistance to any inquiry about her condition. Invariably it was accompanied by thinly disguised pity, discomfort, or misconception of her abilities. It didn't matter that Fate had never seemed the least bit judgmental or dismissive. Nanoha's response was fostered by years of anger and disappointment. She couldn't find the words to answer.

After a moment, Fate asked, 'How long has it been since you've trained with anyone?'

Nanoha met her eyes defiantly. 'Since before my accident.'

'Well, then, I guess we'll just have to find out together what you can handle. Can you stand with that?'

Fate was so direct, and so matter of fact, that Nanoha began to relax.

'Yes, but I can't really walk well with it. My balance is affected.'

'So we start from stationary positions. Can you take a fall?'

'No problem.'

'Leg sweep? Shoulder throw?'

'Either,' Nanoha stated with assurance. She decided not to add that no one had thrown her since her injury, but she had practiced her drills and cane defenses diligently since her rehab was finished. She would be fine. She hoped.

'I thought we might alternate,' Fate continued. 'We can work on grappling one day, and you can teach me the cane the next. Sound okay?'

'Yes - fine.'

They bowed to one another, and for the next hour Fate reviewed with Nanoha the fundamentals of jujitsu grappling techniques. Since Nanoha already held an advanced belt in a style that employed joint locks and takedowns, much of what they practiced was familiar to her with only slight variations. They were evenly matched in terms of stamina thanks to Nanohas rigorous conditioning from kayaking. Her mobility was hindered, but most of the techniques were designed to be performed in very close quarters, and she was able to adjust.

When they bowed to one another at the end of their session, she felt invigorated in a way she hadn't for years. She felt strong and capable. She didn't want to stop, even though she knew she would be sore the next day.

'Thanks. That was excellent,' she exclaimed.

'So - same time tomorrow?' Fate responded.

Nanoha was momentarily caught off guard. It hadn't occurred to her that Fate would want to train quite so seriously. Once again, she was aware of the other woman's persuasiveness and compelling intensity. She felt herself pleasantly challenged by the offer, and nodded her assent. Fate rewarded her with that dazzling smile which burst from nowhere and seemed to flicker away all too quickly.

'If I have an emergency, I'll call -' Nanoha began.

'No need,' Fate interrupted. 'If you aren't here, I'll know it is for some very good reason. I know you'll be here when you can.'

'Are you always so immune to uncertainty?' Nanoha asked unexpectedly.

Fate regarded her seriously. 'Is that what you think? I'm uncertain sometimes- just not about what I believe-' She looked at Nanoha pointedly, 'or about those I trust.'

Nanoha blushed, pleased. Fate had a way of making things seem simple, and she knew she never wanted to disappoint her. That thought was enough to disturb her for the rest of the day.

As June unfolded and summer approached, they managed to get together five or six mornings a week. Nanoha found that she had to rise an hour earlier so she could row and still reach the dojo by six-thirty. Usually she saw Teana leaving as she arrived, and she knew with certainty that Fate had been up for several hours. She was impressed with Teana's determination and Fate's tirelessness. She found her own endurance increasing, and noted with cautious optimism that her ankle and leg seemed a little stronger, and that she was moving better with the lighter air cast. She wasn't deluding herself with the hope that her leg would ever be normal, but each small improvement cheered her.

In addition to the physical benefits of her new training regimen, she had to admit she was enjoying Fate's company. Fate was single-minded in her pursuit of any endeavour, whether it was training, policing, or simply talking. When she was with you, she was intensely present. Nanoha tried not to think about just how much she looked forward to her time with Fate, or how much she liked her slow, easy smile and her deep, resonant voice.

On the last Saturday in June, Nanoha found Fate in her customary position, kneeling in the dojo with her eyes closed, meditating while she waited. When she smiled a greeting, Nanoha remarked, 'Was that Tea's girlfriend with her this morning? I saw them out front as I was leaving.'

'How did you know?' Fate asked in surprise. 'Subaru came to watch a class.'

Nanoha laughed. 'I think it was the way she was hanging onto Tea - or maybe that she looked like she wanted to lick the sweat off Tea's neck.'

'Not too subtle, are they,' Fate remarked grimly. When they had arrived Teana had one arm flung possessively around the young girl shoulders, and Subaru had her hand tucked in Tea's back pocket. It hadn't escaped her notice that Subaru's eyes never left Tea the entire time they were in the dojo, and the look in them was positively hungry. Fate had hoped they would be a little more restrained on the street.

'Why should you expect them to be any different? It's young love. They don't have any awareness of anything but each other. They probably wouldn't notice a ten car pile-up across the street most of the time.' She smiled to herself as she removed her shoes and changed leg braces. 'Does Tiida know about this?'

'No,' Fate said with concern. 'Tea is afraid to tell him. She's afraid he'll try to keep them apart.'

Nanoha nodded. 'She might be right, but there's no way they'll be able to keep it quiet for long. Especially if they go anywhere together in the light of day. Anyone who's ever been in love, or lust for that matter, could tell with just one glance.'

Fate wondered briefly if she would have known if she hadn't found them locked in one another's arms that night. Would she recognize what she'd never experienced? Was there really something so consuming that she could lose herself, and her eternal vigilance, even for a minute?

'Maybe I should say something to her,' Fate mused aloud.

Nanoha answered carefully, fighting her own defensiveness. 'Fate, those girls are acting like any two teenagers in love. They're high school seniors, nearly adults. If you ask them to hide what they feel, you're telling them there's something wrong with what they're doing. It's bad enough that most of the world thinks so, it would be devastating for them if someone they obviously trust said so too. You must realize Tea trusts you, or she never would have brought her girlfriend here! She's asking you for your acceptance.'

'I'm worried about them,' Fate countered. 'A young gay boy was beaten up outside a bar in Truro two weeks ago, and I saw a report from Easton yesterday about a suspicious robbery of two gay men that looked like gay-bashing. We haven't had any problems here- yet.'

Nanoha frowned. 'I'll certainly keep an eye out at the clinic for anything that looks like it was gay-motivated. But the best thing you can do for those two girls is exactly what you are doing. Keep the streets safe, and offer them a supportive adult presence.'

'I'm not too comfortable in that role,' Fate admitted. 'I know so little of what they're experiencing.'

Nanoha regarded her with more than a tinge of disappointment. It was pretty clear from that admission that Fate wasn't gay. She hated to admit she had been hoping otherwise. 'It's no different from what straight teenagers experience, Fate - just more difficult for some of them who are afraid, or sadly, ashamed. Just remember your first time.'

Fate looked at her oddly. 'That's my point, Nanoha. I never had a first time.'

The statement was delivered so matter of factly, Nanoha wasn't sure how to respond. Was it possible that a woman in her late twenties, especially such an interesting, attractive one, had never been in love? Or was she simply saying she had never been a crazy teenager in the throes of hormonal insanity?

Thankfully, Fate saved her from her own confusion by saying, 'Alto says there's a bar where a lot of the kids go. I thought I'd check it out but Alto insists I look too much like a cop. Would you like to go undercover with me and take a look?'

'Fate,' Nanoha said, trying to keep a straight face, 'there is nothing on this earth that could make you look like anything but a cop - but, sure, I'll go with you. When?'

'How about tonight? After dinner - my treat.'

'Tonight is fine - and your treat only if it's on me next time.'

Fate smiled, 'Deal.'

As Nanoha knelt to bow in for the start of their workout, she wondered just what she had let herself in for. She didn't have time to think about anything further. By its nature, their workouts were intimate in the sense that of all the styles of martial arts, jujitsu was the one that required the most bodily contact. Usually, such contact is automatic and completely devoid of any sensual connotation, as the mind and body are engaged in a different realm of endeavour - that of self-defense. Fate and she were working on finishing pins, which required them to literally lie across each other, applying pressure to the opponents elbow until they were immobilized.

Nanoha wasn't thinking of anything except how to dislodge the person who had her flat on her back, with her arm locked out and a forearm pressed against her trachea. It was not a position she wanted to be in, and she responded automatically.

Fate felt her struggling, attempting to reverse the pin. She let up on the pressure she was exerting against Nanoha's wrist joint. 'Nanoha, wait,' she said.

Nanoha immediately relaxed. This was not a contest, it was a training session, and as the most experienced stylist, Fate was in charge.

Fate pushed herself up on her arms, looking down at Nanoha with a smile. The weight of her body rested lightly along the length of Nanoha's body. 'You'll wear yourself out if you thrash about, especially if your opponent is much heavier.'

Nanoha looked up into the burgundy eyes just inches above her own, and suddenly the dojo receded. She was instantly aware of the pressure of Fate's thigh between her legs, the firmness of her body, the swell of her breasts beneath the cotton gi, and the faint blush of perspiration on her pale chest. Nanoha's heart beat a little faster, her skin tingled where Fate's fingers had held her, and she had the insane desire to press her lips against the moist skin of Fate's neck. She gasped at the onslaught of sensations, shocked at the sudden wetness between her thighs.

Fate immediately rolled off of her, exclaiming, 'What is it? Did I hurt you?'

'No,' Nanoha replied, acutely embarrassed. In all the years she had been training, nothing like this had ever happened. She had to drag her senses away from impact of the woman beside her. Trouble, trouble, trouble she chided herself as her body trembled. Fool, fool, fool echoed back to her.

'Nanoha?' Fate continued, worried. Nanoha was shaking, she could see it. The very thought that Nanoha was hurt made her stomach clench. 'Is it your leg?' They were lying side by side, inches apart. She reached out instinctively, brushing her fingers against Nanoha's cheek.

'No, Fate, it's not my leg!' Nanoha said, sitting up, struggling to keep her voice calm. 'Just a cramp. It's gone now.' She looked into Fate's troubled face, knowing she didn't have a clue about what just happened. Nanoha fought to ignore the increasing pressure throbbing through her pelvis. God! Did she have to be so damned attractive?! 'Really, I'm okay. Let's just switch techniques for a while.'

'You're sure?'

'Absolutely.'

They finished their workout, both unusually subdued. Nanoha was trying to keep her mind off what had been an unmistakable rush of potent physical desire. Fate was trying to understand why the mere thought of Nanoha in pain moved her in a way nothing ever had.

'Do you want to take a day or two off?' Fate asked after they finished.

Nanoha glanced at her, seeing the concern in her face. It's not fair to make her worry just because you can't control yourself!

'Are you tired?' Nanoha teased lightly.

'No, I just thought-' Fate stopped, blushing slightly. 'I guess you'll tell me if you need a break, huh?'

Nanoha smiled gently, finding Fate even more attractive in her slight uncertainty. 'You can trust me to take care of myself. But thanks for asking.'

Fate grinned. 'So, I'll see you tonight?'

It was Nanoha's turn to blush. 'Yes, of course.'

They met outside Front Street, a favourite restaurant of the locals and tourists alike. Fate wore a white open collared tee and well-worn blue jeans with highly polished black boots. Nanoha was equally casual in black jeans and a scoop neck black singlet that molded to her well-developed shoulders and arms. Fate had called ahead for reservations, and they were seated immediately. The waitress, who knew Nanoha by name and Fate by the usual town gossip network, was attentive in a non-obtrusive way.

Nanoha was aware that they turned more than a few heads as the restaurant filled up. Fate seemed totally unaware of the notoriety, sipping a glass of red wine as she leaned back in her chair, recounting for Nanoha the four years she had been stationed in Japan.

'The part I loved best of course, was the opportunity to train with the Japanese at one of their own schools. My teacher in the states had written ahead with an introduction, which helped pave the way. The Japanese are much more receptive to American students than they used to be, including women, but it certainly helps to have a personal connection. I had been training for close to ten years by the time I got there, which didn't hurt either.' Fate grinned a little ruefully as she emptied her glass. 'I'm boring you, aren't I?'

'On the contrary,' Nanoha remarked, reaching to fill both their glasses. 'I was just thinking how I envied you. My own training took a back seat to my rowing for many years. About the time you were in Japan, I was getting ready for Barcelona.'

Fate caught the flicker of pain that clouded Nanoha's expressive features for an instant before the other woman visibly drew herself out of the past. Fate reached spontaneously for her hand and held it gently.

'I'm sorry for the pain, Nanoha,' she said softly. 'You don't have to talk about it -'

Nanoha shook her head. 'I'm pretty well over it. It's just so damn frustrating! I had come close to winning the gold in the previous Olympics, and I was in the best shape of my life. It was just a warm-up run, not even the preliminary heats. One minute I was flying. The sun was on my back, the surface was perfect - like glass, and I knew it was my time. The next thing I knew they were fishing me off the bottom, with my leg in pieces. I looked down at my foot hanging there - I couldn't feel it, and I knew it as all over.' She took a deep breath, dispelling the memory. 'Then I spent the next year just hoping I would walk again.' She looked at Fate apologetically. 'Now this is really awful dinner conversation!'

As she talked, she had unconsciously entwined her fingers with Fate's. Nanoha studied their interlaced fingers as they lay against the white tablecloth. Fate's compassion and unspoken sympathy seemed to flow into her through those long, strong fingers. It was comforting, and not the least bit pitying.

'Fate,' she said softly, her throat suddenly dry. 'If people see us like this, they're going to assume this is a date.' She kept her voice light, but she couldn't control the slight quiver in it. She felt raw and uncomfortably vulnerable.

'Are you telling me it isn't?' Fate asked quietly, no hint of banter in her voice.

Nanoha jerked in surprise, her pulse racing. She searched Fate's face for the suggestion of a joke, and found only her serious wine-red eyes gazing back.

'Fate, I am a thirty-four-year-old woman. I have finally recovered from losing a lover I thought I would grow old with. I'm not sure 'date' is a word in my current vocabulary. Most importantly, I have no idea what the word means to you.'

'I'm afraid my answer may not make sense,' Fate began. 'I am thirty years old and I've never been on a date. I think what it means to me is spending time with someone I find interesting, someone I want to know better - someone- special.'

'And eventually?' Nanoha asked gently.

Fate flushed but she didn't look away. 'Uncharted territory.'

'Oh, Fate,' Nanoha sighed, giving her hand a little shake. 'You're putting me in an impossible position! Dates are not about friendship - not in the ordinary sense - dates are about the possibility of something more, something deeper.' She hesitated briefly. 'And dates usually occur when two people are sexually attracted to one another. I can't afford anymore heartbreak, Fate - and you, my beautiful friend, are heartbreak material.'

'Are you trying to let me down gently?' Fate asked with a hint of levity. She didn't want to make Nanoha uneasy, and she understood her reluctance to become involved again. She couldn't clearly describe what she felt, it was too new. She only knew that sitting there with Nanoha's hand in hers felt completely natural, and completely right. And she also knew she didn't want to let go.

Nanoha appreciated Fate's attempt to lessen the pressure on her. But for her own preservation, and in fairness to Fate, she needed to be clear. 'I'm not ready to take a chance on someone who may not even be a lesbian. I'm not sure I want to risk anything anymore. I'm sorry.' As she spoke, she gently disengaged her hand from Fate's.

Fate shook her head, smiling softly. 'Don't be. Until now the only words that ever applied to me for certain were 'recruit' and 'soldier'. I never gave anything else a thought.'

Nanoha laughed. She congratulated herself on steering their relationship onto safer ground. She steadfastly ignored the way her pulse raced every time she looked up to find Fate's disconcertingly appraising eyes upon her.