Hello all :D

I'm really sorry for the delay, I've had a lot on my plate lately, and this chapter was quite intense for me to write.

I hope you'll like it.

Cheers!

CHAPTER 7 – Shadows in your eyes

Philae was swimming back in thick darkness. She welcomed the peace. Her nightmares had quieted, and she was safe. She was home. Never had her stepfather been so warm and protective with her, and she would not complain. Not when he was guarding over her sleep with so much efficiency. And Kai could rest. That was important. She let herself drift gently, lulled by the comforting warmth radiating from her left hand, the one undoubtedly nestled into Orion's. He was an unmovable anchor, a reminder of where reality and security lay. She was grateful for this. She would have to thank him again.

Slowly, her mind reconnected to her body. Pain came, but it was dulled. Maybe she was given painkillers to relieve her of the excruciating aftermath of her over-exertion. She knew she had been stupid, not to hear the alarms blaring in her body. She had never tested the draconic link for so long. She did not know it could react that way.

She eventually noticed that something was not right. Why would she have tested her abilities with the link, if she was at home? She did not need it, and she could not use it, with Orion covering Philae and her brother's past. Had she not activated the power to travel through worlds? Had she returned to Crawford Hall and forgotten about it?

No. It was not possible. She could not travel back so soon. She would have to be at the fullest of her capacity and stamina to breach the borders and slip through again. So, she was not at Crawford Hall. Where was she, then?

As though this question won over her wish for peace, she felt herself emerge back to consciousness, guided by the warmth on her hand. Her mind made one again with her heavy body, and she willed her eyes to open. Her blurred vision caught flashes of unkempt yellow hair. Far from Kai's blueish-grey locks, and even further from Orion's smooth platinum mane. Who...?

Philae blinked a few times, her brain feeling like mush as it processed this piece of information with some difficulty. Focusing on her hand, she found it covered by long, skinny fingers that held her firmly and gently at the same time. The person to whom the limb belonged was asleep, snoring softly, eyes hidden behind their unruly bangs. They were half lying on her bed, half seated on a chair, and covered with a blanket. Looking away from her guardian and around, Philae made out the outlines of more beds along the walls of the room, all empty, and a window that let the moon peep through and cast a soft light on the tiled floor. The infirmary?

Memories of the last events were clearer to her, now, and she remembered her first – disastrous – training session with All Might. When she collapsed, she thought she had heard him call to her. He had been there, and so had Professor Aizawa. A picture of their faces came to the surface of her foggy mind, and she realised the blonde sleeping at her bed-side was her teacher. If she were not so tired, she might have gone fifty shades of scarlet. Had he stayed to monitor her, make sure she did not have another near-death experience again?

Sleep tugged at her again, as she had answered the question that had her awoken in the first place. With a sigh, she drifted back to the peaceful darkness where she had been resting, hoping All Might would be there when she woke up for good.

Toshinori's back was killing him, creaking and cracking with every movement he dared make, and his legs felt as heavy as lead despite their thinness. It did not matter to him, and he chose to ignore them. His aches and personal comfort were not important. Philae's recovery was. She had let herself in his care, albeit unknowing of who he really was, but still. A sort of trust pact had been established between the two of them, and the retired hero would not betray her.

He put up with his hurting body, his will overcoming his physical pains, and only allowed himself some moments of rest when Aizawa came to replace him, or when he was too exhausted to do anything else than sleep. He had dozed off multiple times, his hand never leaving his student's, and his dark-haired colleague had often grumbled at his careless behaviour. Recovery Girl gave him an earful whenever she happened to find him sleeping in highly uncomfortable positions, and she was right, because his body felt even more cumbersome and painful after that. He still did not care, though, and the elder nurse ended up leaving him do what he wanted, warning that she would not heal him. Except she probably would, but she did not say it out loud.

His hero colleagues replaced him in his classes. Midnight and Present Mic took shifts in this task without complaining, only encouraging him and hoping his student would be fine soon. They were all so kind and helpful – not only as heroes, but as friends –, that the blonde felt even more determined to stay and guard over Philae. He decided she was completely in his care, now, his and no one else's, and he had to do good for his careless teaching and mistakes, as well as the hurtful past the intensive use of her powers seemed to have unveiled. It was his fault, in a way, so it was his duty and deepest wish to counter it.

Sometimes, young Midoriya would come by on breaks, especially during lunch, to bring him meals and refreshments, and to ask for any news on Philae's condition. Aizawa had told the blonde he had had a hard time calming some of his students in 1-A down when they heard about her accident, and Midoriya had been chosen as messenger to relay news and comforting words. He came twice a day, sometimes more, and stayed an hour or so to chat with Toshinori while surveying his friend from the corner of his eye.

The boy felt guilty to have reminded her of unhappy memories. She had called him "Doctor", and her behaviour being almost that of people suffering from PTSD, Izuku, Toshinori and Recovery Girl had concluded that this Doctor must have been a tormentor of sorts. The teen had ventured she had been a test subject, or an intern in a psychiatric facility, where she had obviously been mistreated along with her brother. The nurse had added that mental manipulation had been used, with Kai as leverage. Pieces of the puzzle was slowly falling into place, but there remained big questions Toshinori would have to ask sooner or later. He dreaded that moment.

Philae slept for a whole week. Her constitution was a tough one, and Recovery Girl had noticed it was healing quicker than a normal human one. Maybe it had to do with her draconic link, or maybe it was something else entirely. After all, her file did say she was around ninety years old, and she still looked and acted like a seventeen-year-old girl. She was so complex to decipher that science found its limits there, even with the knowledge of quirks all around the world. Toshinori was amazed and intrigued. Part of him was still curious and eager to know who she was, where she came from, what she lived before she came in their world, and... maybe, if he could help her dealing with her worries and sorrows. He had seen them in her, and he could hardly think of anything else. He nearly died to try and find a balm to them. If only he knew...

He spent long hours with ifs and a number of questions without answers. In his conflicted, tired state of mind, he almost failed to notice Philae's eyes flutter open, if not for her hand twitching in his. His attention snapped to her in an instant, watching her slowly wake up and take in her surroundings, himself included. She looked calm and aware, meaning that hopefully she was back to reality and not in another kind of hallucination. The former hero did not think he could take another round of her crying and looking as if he could kill her and her loved ones. It was too heart-wrenching.

She looked at him with half-questioning eyes, as if she tried to replace him. When her face showed recognition, her cheeks tainted with the faintest flush of red.

"Ah, A-All Might," she stuttered, "you...?"

Philae had some difficulty to speak. Her throat felt sore and unused, and her mouth was dry. She had almost come to think she had dreamed him being at her side, but obviously she had not. She did not know what to ask first. She wanted to ask if her teacher had been here the whole time she had been in the infirmary. If he had had any sleep. If he was alright. If he would forgive her for being stupid.

Toshinori saw her questions written all over her face and smiled. She looked far livelier and herself now, which he preferred immensely. Recovery Girl noticed her awakening and scurried off to them, a glass of water in one hand and pills in the other, and she handed both to her. Philae could not help feel a little colder where All Might's hand left hers so that she could take the glass and medication.

The nurse came up to her and examined her eyes, then her pulse, all the while speaking.

"Take those," she indicated the pills, "they're nutrients and vitamins to boost your system, and painkillers to get rid of remaining aches. I put out the IV yesterday, so now you have to take everything orally."

Philae repressed a shudder when she heard about the IV, and she was relieved that it was not in her body anymore. She swallowed the pills with a mouthful of water, and the fresh liquid felt like nectar in her mouth. She finished her glass in a flash and nearly choked in the process.

"Slow down, will you?," the elder woman chided her, "No one's going to steal it from you."

Toshinori let out a chuckle and she turned back to him. The blonde was smiling, and despite the dark bags adorning his eyes, they were shining.

"More?," he offered, and she nodded gratefully.

He got up slowly, his stiff limbs protesting as he forced them to move. He winced and hurried to the sink. Her gaze followed him as he filled up the glass with cool water. She felt guilty at his evident discomfort, and at the same time, she felt safe and at home. Like when she was at Crawford Hall. A feeling of nostalgia got to her. She missed her brother and her adoptive father.

She accepted the glass with gratitude and sipped more slowly this time, relishing in the relief it brought on her tongue. Recovery Girl had left them in peace, and her teacher was sitting back on his chair, attentive and more relaxed. He was very, very happy she was up.

"I'm glad to see you're better," he began, "we got really scared out there."

He was referring to her over-exertion during training. He doubted she remembered the hallucinated episode with Bakugou, and he honestly did not know where to begin. He supposed he would have to start with the first incident she could remember, and go from there.

Philae looked down at her lap, ashamed. All Might was so kind, so considerate, and she felt bad for worrying him.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, "I didn't know I..."

"No, no, I'm sorry," he cut her off, "I shouldn't have let you exhaust yourself like that. I thought you burned a certain amount of energy when you summoned and when you sent the dragon back, and I supposed the creature would regularly draw on your stamina to stay in our world, but only little by little. What I didn't account for, however, is that it goes deeper than that. In fact, you're a catalyst between our world and the dragons', and you have to give up energy not only for the summoned creature to stay, but also for the bridge between worlds to remain open. So, your stamina burned twice as quickly, and I didn't even think of this possibility. I feel silly and apologise for this mishap."

It made sense. Philae had also had the same first theory. After all, it was that way that she travelled through worlds, on a different scale. However, she had not imagined the bridge had to stay open the whole time the dragon spent in her world. Actually, she had not had many occasions to discover this essential piece of information, and she was sorry to find it out in such unfavourable circumstances. But what was done, was done. Now, she would be more careful, and listen to herself.

Toshinori was having similar thoughts. He would have both eyes open from now. He still had other subjects to broach at the moment, though.

"I promise you I'll adapt my programme according to this new piece of information, but only if you still want to train with me. I'd understand if you didn't..."

"No! I mean, yes, I still want to train with you," she exclaimed, "I trust you. It wasn't your fault. I should've known..."

The blonde shook his head and patted her shoulder lightly in a comforting gesture.

"Let's stop trying to determine whose fault it is, shall we? It's in the past now." He smiled wider to prove his point. "We'll be careful and it won't happen again, okay?"

She agreed, showing a small smile of her own. Toshinori grinned at that. It was a small victory.

Now, to the biggest matter at hand, his brain reminded him grimly.

His smile faltered a little, but he decided he could not avoid it any longer. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, debating on how to start. Philae cast him a questioning look, puzzled.

"I...," he swallowed and started, "I'd like to discuss something with you, now. About your past..."

He slapped himself mentally when he saw her face pale and crumble. Shit! Way to be tactful, you idiot. But he could not back-pedal. He had to go all the way through.

"You won't have to say anything, if you don't want to," he tried to reassure her feebly, "it's just that we're all really worried, and we... I hate feeling powerless when... er..."

He fumbled with words, unable to express the storm going in his head while he had witnessed her break down in Bakugou's arms. A crushing sense of uselessness and anguish had nagged at him. He would have given up everything to stop her living nightmare. He could not say it like that, though.

Philae tried to control her shock to prevent it from turning into a full blown panic attack. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, to the point it hurt. Did something happen when she was unconscious? Did she show something of her nightmares involuntarily? She realised she had a hole in her memories. What did she forget?

"What happened...?," she asked numbly.

Instinctively, Toshinori reached out to take her hand back in his and hold it comfortingly, like he had done during her sleep. He could not do much more, to his huge dislike, but at least he would show he was here and did not leave her alone with her thoughts. It seemed to work. She glanced down and ceased to tremble. Her pulse slowed down a tiny notch, but it slowed down nonetheless. Once she got calmer, the former hero licked his lips and took a breath to answer.

"You had a nightmare, I think. You were trashing and struggling against an enemy we couldn't see, and when you finally woke up... well, you thought you were somewhere else, with other people."

It clicked in her head. Now she understood why she had thought she was back at Crawford Hall. Self-loathe and disgust at herself made bile rise up her throat.

"Am I going mad?," she whispered.

All Might held her hand tighter.

"No! Of course not," he refuted, "you were disoriented and terrorised, and you tried to find something to comfort you, I think. And you transposed the first comforting figures you could have thought of on us. I can totally understand this, and it's normal if your nightmare was that terrible. You're perfectly normal, only human and..."

And deeply traumatised, scarred, haunted. That too, he had to silence. He desperately searched for something nice to say to her, to make her forget about her unrealistic ideas. He was crap at this and did not want to mess up, but he felt only he could do it. Philae sniffed and, after a moment, nodded.

"I suppose, yes. What did I say?"

She saw All Might hesitate, and her stomach froze.

"All Might?"

"Sorry, I didn't know how to say it correctly. Are you sure you...?"

"Yes, please. I need to know." After a pause, she added, "I'll try explaining if possible. I can't promise I will, but... I'll try."

It was a great effort on her part, he realised. Few people knew about her past. And if she could tell him, he would be one of those few people she could trust enough with her burden. With a sense of responsibility he welcomed without a second thought, he started his explanation.

"You thought young Bakugou was Kai, your brother, and you held him as if he would, er, I mean, as if something terrible would happen if you let him go." He managed not to say die at the very last moment, and sighed mentally at that. "When Izuku tried to come near you, you got terrified and called him 'Doctor', and you talked about being punished and a bad girl. Young Bakugou managed to calm you down, acting as your brother as best he could, and when you saw me approaching, you thought I was Orion and I promised to guard you in your sleep. That reassured you, and you fell asleep. That's about all, I guess. And before you apologise for whatever you may think you should apologise for, don't. Please. Nothing's your fault, okay? We're not mad, and we certainly don't want you to feel guilty. We're just worried, and... well, I'd like to help you more than I did back then. Hence the discussion we have now."

He had added the last part on impulse, to show her he did not want to know for the sake of knowing alone. A treacherous part of him whispered that he was curious, that he died to know, and his more chivalrous side bellowed that was only because he wanted to help her. Was it only, though? The retired hero growled inwardly and stopped there his train of thoughts. Right now, he was not here to introspect.

He had blatantly hidden the near-summon part, suspecting it would have made her panick instantly. It had not completed, and there was no need asking for too much information at once. There would be a better time for that specific part. However, what was urgent was that he understood exactly what could cause her PTSD of sort, and how they could work something out together to make incidents stop.

Philae looked frozen and shocked. All her thoughts had stopped abruptly, as she digested the sheer horror of what had transpired during her hallucinating fit.

By the gods, she wailed internally, what have I done?

No wonder All Might and the others wanted to know more about her past. She had just thrown the whole thing with the Doctor at them, but not enough for them to fully understand the situation, and she needed to bring the most important and hurtful pieces of the puzzle herself. She could not do it. Even though it haunted her, she could not spit it all out to a stranger who had nothing to do with it, and who surely did not want to get involved in that shit.

Nevertheless, her teacher deserved to know, after what he had done for her. He had stayed at her side for a very long time, despite the fact it might have caused him pain and discomfort, and he had done so without a second of hesitation. He was a stranger, yes, but he did care about her, in a way, and he seemed genuine in his worry. She would really be ungrateful if she did not say a thing. He might be the only chance she had to lift off some of her hurt and regrets from her shoulders.

While she debated with herself, Toshinori stayed silent and unmoving. He feared that if he did as much as raise a finger, she would jump and be unreachable forever. He was so close to know. He was about to finally try and help her. Be here for her, and not only in case of emergency. So even though he felt his mind in turmoil, in the outside he appeared patient and open. He waited. He would wait for as long as she needed.

After long minutes of silence, during which not even Recovery Girl disturbed them - she apparently was not coming back before long -, Philae raised her head. She had made her decision. She looked at All Might, her gaze steadier. She took a deep breath.

"I-I don't know if I'll be able to tell you everything," she began uncertainly, "but I'll try my best to help you understand."

"Of course, I'll take everything you can give me, but I won't insist if you don't want to tell everything. You just have to say it."

"Okay. Well," she licked her lips, "I shall start with the very beginning. I was born around 1930-something, in France. When my parents knew about Hitler's ascension to power, they fled to a tiny village in the mountains of Greece. They knew of his passion for the occult, and the ancient legends, and it's said our blood is related to some antique people of the like. In short, he was dangerous if he knew of us. So my parents fled with me and Kai, and I grew up in relative peace, hidden from the world. That's what my brother told me, at least. But the Germans knew of us, I don't know how, but they knew, and they found us unaware. My parents were killed trying to take us away, and we were drugged and brought to a place I don't recall much of. From there, things are jumbled..."

She did not detail the reek of blood, the screams of her father hiding her from them, the gunfire and the wails of her mother. She did not talk about the barks of the soldiers, their rough hands, and the desperate calls of Kai as he struggled to get to her, only to be knocked out by a vicious jam of a rifle butt in his stomach. She could not. Toshinori guessed them nonetheless. He nodded and waited for her to continue if she wanted, forcing his thoughts not to go wild at what she was saying just now. He would take it all, and then he would think about what he learnt. It was safer that way, for both him and her.

"I think we got put into a coma of sorts, from which they could draw us from easily, because I felt as though I had slept for a long time when I woke up. Next thing I remember is the lab, and the Doctor. His eyes were green, like acid that could seep into your very soul and make everything rotten. Maybe that's why I thought Izuku was him... Anyway, he was my new 'caretaker', as he put it, and his job was to... how can I say it? Tame me, I suppose. We were in unit 731, and I was to become a Valkyrie, a supersoldier obeying only to the Führer, or a brainwashed weapon. You choose."

She remembered the Doctor made her listen to Wagner's Walkürie, to make her realise just how exceptional she was, like the energetic and soaring tones of the music implied grandeur and power. The power of the Reich she was to become a part of. All the while when he drew blood on innocents. She repressed a gag and focused on her tale.

"He could use all means necessary to make me submit and break. His favourite was to punish Kai instead of me, for everything he considered wrong. He... My brother's ability is a kind of extreme regeneration, he heals super quickly and could even heal serious injuries on others, if he had the necessary stamina for that. They wanted to turn him into, I don't know, an angel of death? A mascot of the SS? They weren't fixed. However, he was their favourite scapegoat to punish in my place, and they made me watch. It was horrible."

She tried expressing things with simple words and short sentences. Toshinori could see why. His guts lurched and burned with fury at what the Doctor and his acolytes had done. For the first time since he had become All Might, he felt hatred. Pure, scathing hatred and want for revenge. He wanted to break something, to show the world he was furious and... and he reined his flaring temper at the last minute so as not to frighten his student. Now was not the time for that.

"Could you just explain to me what Unit 731 is?," he asked carefully. She nodded.

"It was a hidden facility in Japan, where they experimented on humans to develop biological weapons. Kai and I were special cases, and no file on us was to exist for more than a few days. We were detained in Japan for security reasons, I think. It was too dangerous to keep us with what they considered scum in the concentrating camps in Europe, and Japan was an ally they secured with our presence on Japanese soil."

The blonde accepted the explanation. It made sense, in a terribly logical way. Treating human beings as scum, test rats, cattle or exchange currency was horrifying. But at the time, it undoubtedly was quite common. Accepted, even.

"May I..." he paused. "May I know why you haven't used your powers much? Is this because of the Doctor?"

Philae hesitated at that. She had told so much, she might as well go to the end of the story, but would her teacher not consider her a monster when he knew?

"I... did a terrible thing," she trailed off, "something I should be punished for, and I'm sure you'll hate me..."

"Nonsense," he waved her off, "I could never hate you."

That sounded better in his head, and he admonished himself for his stupid choice of words. She was not convinced.

"You will, and I don't think I'd be able to bear someone as kind as you hating me, even if I'd deserve it."

"Philae..." Again, he searched for the right words to say, feeling miserable when they did not come to him. "I won't force you to tell me. But please, I assure you, whatever you did will never deserve my hatred. What they did to you and Kai does. But you? Never."

Never you... Oh, Gosh, now I sound cheesy and old. Stop it.

She gulped, gathering her courage.

"I-I don't know how long I was there, tortured and breaking little by little. I felt so weak, so powerless, and it killed me. And one day... One day, I bit the Doctor's hand when he tried to inject me another dose of stuff I didn't know the use of. And so, Kai was to be whipped. But this time they were even more vicious and crueler than before, and they made me watch until he got all red and bloody. It was butchery, real butchery... and I thought 'If only I could kill them all, and flee with Kai. If only someone could come and end it all.'. I had called God, and prayed, and begged, and no one had ever answered. But that day, someone did. In my head."

She ceased to speak and rubbed her arm, where her tattoo was. Long and red, the serpentine body was almost dull on her pale skin. Toshinori connected the dots, and realisation hit him like a cold shower of icebergs.

Don't tell me...

"Was it a dragon?," he managed to ask.

A nod.

"And... what did he say?"

Silence. Then, slowly, she raised sorrowful eyes at him, and his breath caught up in his throat.

"He said 'If that's your deepest wish, I shall grant it.' And then, hell broke loose and we could bathe in their blood. There was so much..."

It was too much to handle. She retched at the memory and was somewhat glad she had not eaten anything solid for days.