It's finally time for an update now that the writer's block has lessened! A few quick notes before it gets started, if anyone actually reads these A/Ns ;) I didn't realize it before, but last chapter pushed this story over the 100,000 word mark and next week is the one year anniversary of the story being posted. Both are milestones I never expected to hit with this story, it's officially my longest story ever in both word count and amount of time spent on it, and while it takes a lot of work to get out, I'm so happy it's gotten this far. Truly, I thank everyone for reading this and following me down the angsty rabbit hole, it really is fun to do once there's a few ideas present. While I don't think we'll make it to 200,000 words, you never know with some fics. I just hope you all stay tuned :)
On another note, while I was dealing with writer's block for this, I started working on a season 14 speculative story that will be posted sometime this week. It's not a happy one, so if angst is your thing, go check it out later, it would make my day!
Thanks, as always, to my wonderful commenters. Without your feedback, reactions, and ideas, this story wouldn't have gotten to where it is today. If you've got a second, let me know what you thought about the ending to this chapter, it's going places. Special thanks to ThornsHaveRoses, VegasGranny, DearHart, and mak2018 for the comments on the last chapter!
I still don't own Supernatural. Two more months until season 14, but who's counting?
Cas followed Masie's instructions and drove a safe distance behind the ambulances when he saw them leave for the hospital. Of course, they pulled into the ambulance bay where he then lost sight of them. Cas pulled the Impala around to the visitor parking area, and after taking a moment to collect himself, exited the car and walked through the front.
He was met at the front desk by one of the nurses, who was unfortunately not able to tell him very much about Sam and Dean's conditions given they had just been brought in. The hospital was not equipped with a burn unit, but since their burns appeared to be non life threatening, they wouldn't have to be immediately transferred. They were both being treated, and Cas would be updated when they knew more.
He wished all parties involved had more information, but that desire to know everything so he could fix things wouldn't help anyone. Instead, he nodded silently and accepted a small stack of forms and a clipboard that the nurse handed over for him to fill out.
Cas took a seat in one of the chairs in the waiting area and set about filling out the forms. He did so to the best of his ability, listing Dean's amnesia and Sam's recent gunshot wounds as areas of concern and recent injuries. Allergies, past medical histories, living relatives, everything Cas filled out to the degree he was able and to one which wouldn't arouse suspicion.
When he finally got done with the forms, he returned them and was directed to sit back down, where he would be told as soon as they had more information.
Cas sat there, physically twiddling his thumbs and staring at the wall, grateful that at least no one else was in the room with him. Small town, small hospital, there were certain things to be thankful for.
He eventually pulled out his phone to help pass the time, but he found his finger hovering over the 'call' icon. He hadn't put down anyone as next of kin for the Winchesters besides himself. It was true, but not entirely.
He clicked a few buttons, but paused before he hit the next one. So much had changed in the past two days…how could he possibly convey it all? Cas raised the phone to his ear and listened to it ring twice before he made he way outside, though not straying too far from the door.
Two more rings later, the voice on the other end of the line picked up. "Cas? Fancy hearing from you, you miss us already? Things alright?" Jody's voice came through loud and clear, and despite the current situation, Cas couldn't help but smile ever so slightly.
"Jody, I am glad you picked up. Things are…" he trailed off.
"Something's wrong, right? Gosh, not even two days since we've last seen you…please tell me it's not about the boys." Her voice had lost its slight happy edge at seeing who had called, and was not filled with worry that even Cas could hear.
There was no sense in dragging out her worry longer, and there was no nicer way to describe the situation than with the truth. "There was an…accident. We were on a hunt-"
"Dean convinced you guys?" Jody said with a sigh.
"He did, and his reasoning for the most part was sound, otherwise Sam and I would not have gone along. The spirit we were facing is no longer a problem, but Sam was trapped in a fire that it set. Dean…he went in after him and suffered head trauma when the building began to collapse." There it was, all out in the open.
"Jesus," Jody whispered to herself. "They're okay, right? I mean, relatively speaking, they're not still in the burning building?"
Cas shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "Relatively speaking, they are fine, both are at a nearby hospital. I am waiting on an update, since they were just brought in."
"Where are you guys?" There was some rustling on the other end of the line, like she was moving papers around.
"A small town, about half an hour outside of Lebanon, still in Kansas."
A pause followed. "I can be there tomorrow at the earliest."
"Jody, I appreciate it, and they will too, but it really isn't necessary," Cas assured, and the rustling stopped.
"You're watching out for them, right? Anyone watching out for you?" Cas found that he didn't have an answer.
"I will be fine. You have a job, teenagers to attend to, another person waiting on news won't be of any service, I'm sorry to say. I just thought it was best for you to know."
Jody was silent. "You're absolutely sure? I can come over for a few days, things have been quiet here."
"I am sure, I can handle things here."
"And you'll call me as soon as anything changes, good or bad?" Jody checked, to which Cas nodded again.
"Of course, though I hope it will be with good news."
Jody sighed. "So do I," she said quietly. "Even if there is no news, just call back in a few hours, alright? I don't care what time it is."
"I will, Jody," Cas promised. "And thank you." It was reassuring to have someone to talk to about the recent events, since there was no one else he could call. With both brothers injured, he couldn't even look to one for guidance and reassurance as he normally would. It was a strange, ugly situation to be in. They said their goodbyes and the lines clicked off.
Cas eventually slid the phone back into his pocket and steeled himself to go back inside the hospital. He hadn't spent much time in them, save for a few times over the years and the most recent trip the month prior, and before he hadn't quite understood why people seemed to hate them so much. They were instruments of attempted healing, which Cas thought would be celebrated. Seeing it from the other side, however, actually having family members in danger that he cared about, and to have their care for the most part out of his control, was not something that he enjoyed.
Even the small amount of healing he had done had left his grace somewhat depleted, and he wished he was able to do more. He always wished he could help more, but since the fall, things had been different. Hopefully, it would be enough so that their injuries would be able to heal, but Cas was still unsure.
He went back inside after another moment, and settled into the same chair in the waiting room. A few people came and went, but there was still no news. If Cas needed to sleep, he was certain he would have felt tired, and the hours kept dragging on. The sunlight streaming in through the glass doors eventually faded, giving way to darkness and the somewhat harsh white lights that came on overhead.
It was nearing ten at night before a nurse came over with a clipboard. She looked around for just a moment, and at seeing that Cas was the only one there, took a step closer. "Mr. Winchester?" she checked, and Cas nodded as he stood up to meet her halfway. The name was strange to him, but apparently only family was allowed information on their other members, so it was once again necessary. Her name tag was denoted as 'Monica Nixon'. He made a mental note to ask if she was related to the paramedic, and would hopefully be able to do so once things had calmed down.
"How are they?" he asked, not wanting to postpone the news any further. It was probably logical that someone would have told him if one of them had any severe complications, but again, he wasn't sure.
"They've both been stabilized," Monica started off with, and Cas let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry the news took so long to reach you, there were many things to check for," she explained, and looked for a second through one of the files in her hands. "We'll start with Sam."
"Is he alright?"
Monica nodded, apparently used to the common question before she had been able to give her explanations. "Relatively speaking, yes. His burns are minor second-degree and should heal in a few weeks time without scarring, as long as treatment is kept up. Smoke inhalation is a bigger problem, I'm afraid," she added in a bit more serious tone, and Cas' shoulders sagged ever so slightly.
"He is currently being given oxygen through a breathing tube, which is not abnormal in cases where fires have been involved. The blood tests came back negative for carbon monoxide poisoning, and the chest x-ray showed no serious lasting damage." Fortunately, those all sounded like positives, and Cas was just hoping there wasn't 'another shoe to drop' as Dean often said. "We're keeping him sedated until we're confident his oxygen levels are back up, and he should start coming around after then. He's being given antibiotics as well to avoid complications that may arise from a recent…bullet wound, was it, to the chest?" Cas nodded at that. "With care after he wakes up, he should be fine in a few weeks time," Monica finally finished.
"You are confident in that?" There was nothing in her tone or the way she looked to suggest otherwise, but he just wanted to check.
Monica nodded back. "I am. Everything is pointing in the right direction."
Cas didn't allow himself to get too hopeful, not yet, as Sam was only half of the equation when it came to the Winchester brothers. "I am glad to hear that, truly, thank you," he said first. "And Dean? How is he?" Both brothers had been unconscious when they had been brought out, which Cas knew wasn't a positive sign.
She glanced at the second file for a second, refreshing her memory before she looked back up. "He is about the same regarding the burns, mostly first-degree, some second-degree on his hands and arms. Very low levels of smoke inhalation, enough to require oxygen but not intubation, but with him, the head injury is the biggest possible problem."
Cas had been expecting that. It was the main reason why they hadn't wanted to be hunting in the first place and now here they were, face to face with the possible worst-case scenario. They should have known, things always turned out this way.
"He was sent down for a scan a few hours ago, and his levels of brain activity have decreased from where they should be," she started, and held out a hand before Cas could ask more worried questions, "it is possible to recover, of course. He is being monitored for signs of movement or activity, which we are hoping to see in the coming hours. But another head injury, this complicates things, I am sorry to say, we'll let you know if anything changes."
Cas nodded his head slowly. They were back to where they had been only weeks ago. How many comas could Dean realistically pull himself out of? How many head injuries could he get through without something serious going wrong? They were already dealing with a devastating diagnosis, anything more would be crippling.
"Is there anything I can do?" he finally mustered, though he could have guessed the answer.
Monica shook her head. "We're doing all we can. They're getting Dean set up for another scan," she paused to look at her watch, "I can let you sit with Sam for a few minutes if you'd like? Just not long, visiting hours are technically over, but it may help ease some of the worry," she offered.
Cas, of course, straightened up immediately. "I would greatly appreciate that," he assured quickly. Monica smiled ever so slightly, having expected it, and waved for him to follow.
Sam had been moved into a normal room, though the amount of equipment surrounding him was still staggering.
"Mind the machines, there's a chair you can sit in," she motioned to the far side of the room by the bed, which Cas walked over to, and Monica continued walking down the hall.
The room wasn't silent after she left, with various machines beeping and delivering Sam the oxygen he hadn't been given while the fire raged. The younger Winchester was still unconscious, though Cas had been glad to hear that he would wake up when the sedation wore off and his oxygen levels were back to normal. His hands and lower arms where the burns had been were wrapped in gauze and the cuts on his face had been closed with small bandages. All things considered, he was lucky.
And he was lucky because Dean had once again gone into a literal hellhole to save someone he cared about. In all his time watching the Winchesters, Castiel hadn't expected anything else, and he knew that Dean's plan of splitting up before to deal with the problem had been the right one. Still, it didn't make the situation any easier to handle. What he couldn't decide, however, was if it would be easier to deal with once Sam woke up and they were faced with Dean's diagnosis.
"How did we get here, Sam?" he asked quietly, his voice joining the chorus of machines. Of course, there was no answer from Sam, and while Cas had no problem answering the physical, factual aspect of the question, he was still having trouble with everything else behind it.
About fifteen minutes elapsed before Monica came back, and regretfully informed Cas that he should head somewhere for the night. She wasn't kicking him out, but rules were rules, and if the brothers remained in the hospital much longer, she promised that Cas would be set up with something. For the first night, however, he was on his own.
Even though the bunker was half an hour away, it was still too far from the hospital to be a reasonable location to spend the night. Would a motel be a good idea? That was what Sam had done before, but again, was it worth it so close to home?
Cas found himself sitting in the Impala, trying to think over what to do next. Monica had promised someone would call if anything happened with Sam or Dean, so they were covered in that regard. But Cas couldn't bring himself to physically leave or find another place to stay at that time of night.
He ended up spending the night in Dean's beloved Baby, sitting in the backseat. From that position, he was able to watch the occasional car come down the road and could lean his head up against the window to watch the stars. Cas supposed a night like this would have been peaceful in other circumstances, no apocalypse hanging over their heads, no research to do, no impending…anything, really. Instead, he found the silence deafening, and more than once his eyes drifted from the road to watch the horizon, waiting for the sun to signify the beginning of a new day.
Dean was guessing he was unconscious. He knew he wasn't dreaming, that had a different sort of feeling to it. Though, weren't being unconscious and asleep basically the same thing? Whatever the reason, he didn't need another headache, he needed a way to get up and out of whatever state he was in. And away from the kitchen table he had been seated at when he first 'woke up'.
He remembered the fire, getting to Sam, and covering him as the building started to collapse. Then that was it. Lights out, nothing else. He was assuming he wasn't dead then either, at least, not yet. This all meant that the house he was in was just a memory, a figment of his imagination that he had somehow gotten himself stuck into for whatever reason. His brain really sucked sometimes.
It only took a precursory glance around to see that he was seated at the kitchen table in Lisa's house. Everything was absolutely perfect, which was his first clue that something had been off. There were no glasses on the counter, no plates waiting to be put away, no mail sitting unopened next to the fruit basket. But still, it was familiar, and that was all he could get out of why he was there.
He didn't venture upstairs, his recent nightmare still seared into his brain, and instead stayed in the kitchen. His boots didn't make any sound on the floor, and he wasn't even sure if he was really breathing. Like he had said, thought, whatever, being unconscious and trapped in his own head sucked.
Dean passed by the counter and looked up at the pictures that were still hung. He had seen them so many times he had them memorized, which was why he paused immediately upon seeing them.
They were different, altered, but no one would know they had been unless they had seen the original images. The photo that once held him and Lisa smiling at the camera now only presented Lisa in the exact same stance. Every other picture that Dean was once a part of was the same way. It was as if he had been physically erased from their lives. He didn't get a chance to mull it over any more, because a presence behind him had him quickly turning around.
"You're right, you know, about being erased," was all she said at first. There was an air of nonchalance and seriousness about her tone that immediately had Dean curious. She was an African American, he guessed at least, wearing a leather jacket and regarding him almost fondly. Something…something about her was familiar, like the deja vu he had been living with for the past month. Suddenly, a part of it was smack in front of his face and he didn't know what to do about it.
"Long time, no see, Dean Winchester. We've got some things to discuss." She gestured to the table, and something within Dean knew that sitting down probably wouldn't be the best idea.