Chapter 5
"So what exactly was this whole mission about anyway?" Trio asked. "What were you in for, Princess?"
Doctor Ingerman said at once, "That's 'Need-to-know: Classified'."
"Well based on what I've seen and heard, I'm guessing you stole something that the Federation greatly values, and you plan to use it against them. Am I right?"
"Pretty much," Astrid admitted after a long pause.
"It must be pretty powerful then, to go to such lengths." Trio pulled his helmet off and for the first time the two Separatists saw his face. He had auburn hair, forest green eyes, and faded scars and freckles. Astrid thought he looked rather cute, before reminding herself to not think about such things.
Trio adjusted the controls. "So where do you want to go now? We're heading for Outpost 66, on Vastra. First place I could think of. It's inconspicuous enough. Where shall I drop you off after that?"
The Doctor looked at Astrid, who looked back uncertainly. He lowered his voice. "I really would rather discuss this with no one else around." He eyed Trio and 2TH with suspicion.
"There's more to the ship than just the cockpit," 2TH-LS chimed loudly.
The two separatists got the point and made their way to the kitchenette. It resembled the kind found in a college dormitory building: cramped and cluttered, and the cooking machines were half covered with duct tape. Some of them had numerous and various appendages attached to them in random spots.
"Clearly Herr H. Trio is not one for cleaning up after himself." Dr. Ingerman observed sourly.
"And also likes to tinker with his appliances. Say, what's the 'H' stand for?" Astrid asked.
"He won't say." His voice returned to a whisper. "So, you've got the section of the map?"
"I told you so, didn't I?"
The Doctor grew excited. "And when we combine this with the other sections, we'll finally know the location of—"
"Yes, we both know that, Doctor, but how do we get back to the fleet?" she glanced down the corridor to the cockpit. "Do we trust Trio enough to take us there?"
"I don't think we should. He'd learn too much about the Separatists. Then again, he knows a lot already, so would a little more knowledge really hurt? Then again, can we expect him to hold his tongue, even if we pay him enough? Then again—"
"In other words, you don't know." Astrid cut in sharply. "As for me, I've seen enough of him already to see he could be useful to the Separatists. All the same, I have no idea of where his loyalties are."
"Well he clearly doesn't care about the Federation—unless he's playing the role of a double agent—but does he want to oppose it like we do? From what he said earlier, his tone implied he did not care about our revolution one way or another. He's probably only in this for the money."
"Then he's quite a mercenary. Where'd you even find him?"
"This ship has a reputation for speed. High Command was desperate. I had to make a choice."
"I could have just stolen a ship from the Federation. I was about to when you showed up."
The Doctor shrugged. "We were desperate. And it's worked out so far, hasn't it? This ship is indeed traveling at a high velocity. No wonder Alvin the Glut prized it so much."
"Alvin the Glut?" Astrid exclaimed in disgust, "This ship belongs to him? You hired a man who—"
At that moment the ship shuddered. There was a loud coughing sound from the engines. Smoke started emerging from behind a door. Trio came running past them yelling, "A-ha! A-ha! That clunker of a Hyperactive Drive! Dogone it, I'll kick it into next year!"
He disappeared through the door, and then they heard a loud crashing sound, like several heavy boxes falling over. They could hear Trio yelling with pain and coughing as more smoke drifted into the room, then they heard metal vigorously striking metal.
"Come on, start working! Oh-ho-ho, so that's the way you want it, huh, you crummy son-of-a bilge rat! Why, I'll tear you to pieces, you blinkity-blankity-so-and-so slippin' rippin' wiper of a badger's runny nose! I'll—"
Astrid and the Doctor gaped at each other; astounded to hear such language.
"I think my ears will need purification," the Doctor whimpered.
"That or his mouth, or maybe both!" Astrid said, laughing in spite of herself.
"—To the last I grapple with thee! The most infectious pestilence upon thee! Come on, you yellow bellied cow, get working again or I'm gonna feed you to a two headed vampire! You ungrateful bunch of—"
Astrid returned to the cockpit, still chuckling, where 2TH-LS was steering the ship. Even from there they could hear Trio shouting and banging on the engines.
"Normally a kick to the Hyperactive Drive is all it takes. Something must've gone really wrong for it to be acting like this."
"Why don't you just get a new one?"
"Don't be fooled. He loves it this way." The robot replied. "He'd hate replacing it. And such a replacement would foul up the Subatomic Bilateral Compressor and cause a temporal shift in the gravitational neutron flow. And mess up the toaster."
"I need a translator here. I have no idea what you just said."
"Typical homo-sapiens."
"Oh, and I suppose a robot is better?" she asked scornfully.
The robot was smug. "Of course. I have the capacity to calculate the third to last digit of Pi within the span of .3 nanoseconds. I don't see any humans doing that."
"So does this ship really belong to Alvin the Glut?" She was eager to change the subject, and wanted to know the truth about this ship.
"It did belong to him."
"And it doesn't now?"
"He'd dispute that, but no, it does not."
"How'd that happen?"
If 2TH was going to answer, he never got the chance. A red light on the console began flashing.
"Holy Sheep! The subatomic ultra high frequency gamma ray fuel cells are rupturing!" the robot rolled over to another part of the console and flipped a switch. Astrid was thrown forward as the ship abruptly stopped. They could hear Trio shouting in pain.
"What in the name of Thor's undershirt was that?"
"Pick me up! Pick me up!" the Doctor wailed from the kitchenette.
2TH rolled away to inform Trio and fix the problem. Astrid picked herself up, inadvertently pulling on a lever that turned the ship, which was still moving, albeit at a much slower rate than before, directly towards a nearby planet. She quickly grabbed the lever to turn in it the other direction, but she pulled too forcefully and it broke off in her hand.
"Um…guys?"
The Condor continued to head towards the planet and, even worse, 2TH must have fixed whatever was malfunctioning, because it started to pick up speed.
"Guys?" she yelled.
The planet was getting closer.
"Guys! We've got a problem here!"
The Doctor wheeled his way into the cockpit. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get back into a wheel chair without—Mein Lieb! We're on a collision course!"
"Tell me something I don't know! Trio! Get up here and help me steer this thing!" She looked anxiously at the controls, but the layout made no sense to her.
"What did she say?" Trio muttered, shaking his head, which was still ringing from the metal tools that had fallen on him.
"Trio! Get up here!"
"Oh, she wants me up there. Oh great."
The ship was rushing through the planet's atmosphere now. White clouds surrounded them. Trio glanced out a window and suddenly felt inspired. "Yes! Come on, Bud! Let's taste real freedom! Let the winds carry us through the clouds—!"
"HURRY UP!" Princess Astrid yelled from the cockpit.
"All right!" he yelled back. "Sheesh, some people have no respect for the soul of a poet. All right, pull the lever with the green star and our altitude will increase."
Astrid and the Doctor looked around. "What lever?"
"The one with the green star on the top!"
"Which one?"
"I just told you! It's over there!"
"Where's 'there'?" the Doctor yelled.
"Pull the lever!" Trio roared. "Pull it already, will you!"
She did. A panel in the ceiling opened. The floor beneath him shot upwards and sent him flying through the opening and into the opened air.
"NOT THAT ONEEEEEEEEE!"
Astrid screamed. "Oh Gods, what have I done?"
2TH-LS finally rejoined them. "I'm detecting very high distress levels in here."
"She's just sent Trio flying to his death!" the Doctor cried.
Astrid was near hysterical. "Why do you even have that lever anyway?"
2TH-LS started laughing, in his fashion.
"Good heavens, robot, are you mad? Why are you laughing? This is no jesting matter!"
"Oh yeah? Look!"
They looked. And out in the purple sky they saw Trio gliding serenely towards the ground, utilizing a set of leather wings and fins that had emerged from his suit.
The Doctor slumped back in his chair. "He can fly?"
"More accurately, he can glide. And yes, he invented those wings himself. Can any of your people do things like that?" the robot proudly asked.
"That settles it. We're getting him to join the Separatists." Astrid said.
For a moment they all watched Trio's descent with awe and admiration. Then they remembered they were still on a collision course and the ground was getting nearer every second.
.
The planet the Centennial Condor had come to was largely jungle. To the north, where the jungle was thinner, was a giant nightclub surrounded by smaller buildings, which stuck out garishly compared to the surroundings. It was like a palace in the middle of a slum. To the west lay a sandy beach, and beyond that an orange ocean. And directly ahead of the ship was a mountain of sand, which the Condor shot into nose first. Sand flew in every direction, as if a geyser had erupted beneath it.
A woman was on the beach, getting a tan, and staring at the purple sky. Somehow she had missed the sight of the Condor swooping overhead as it dove towards earth. She sighed. "I'm dying of boredom out here. I'm surrounded by dandies and card sharks…I'd love to meet a real man."
At that moment Trio landed gracefully in the sand right in front of her. Unaware of her and the stunning impression he had just made, he picked himself up and began retracting the fins on his flight suit, muttering technical figures to himself.
"Who are you?"
He now realized there was a very attractive woman watching him. "No one in particular," he managed to say. "I mean…H. Trio,"
"What does the 'H' stand for?"
"Whatever you like."
She smiled and held up a glass of wine. "Adventurous and mysterious. I like it. Won't you join me, Mi Amor?" she purred.
Trio had to fight to keep his body temperature down. "Maybe some other time."
"Are you sure?" But he was already making his way down the beach.
She sighed and went back to staring at the sky. "I'm dying of boredom out here."
.
It took Trio a lot of walking to reach the Condor. When he did he saw her nose was partially buried in the sand and her landing gear was not as fully extended as it should have been. 2TH was already rolling around inspecting the hull.
"Another crash landing?"
The robot was indignant. "You know perfectly well I don't crash! My landings are simply unorthodox!"
"Of course they are." Trio laughed. "And I'm fine, by the way. The suit worked perfectly."
"After all those death defying 'test flights' of yours, it ought to!"
"It's nice of you to care. So where are the passengers?"
As if to answer, Astrid emerged from the ship, raced over to him and threw her arms around him. "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I had no idea you had an ejector panel on your ship! I am so relieved to see you're not hurt—you're not hurt, are you? That was pretty amazing, you being able to fly like that—" they both abruptly and awkwardly realized she was hugging him.
"Perhaps I should—?"
"Yeah, yeah…"
She broke away. "So, we're good, right?"
Once again Trio had to fight to keep his temperature down. "Good as…good, yeah. So what's the damage, Bud?"
Astrid hurried back into the ship's cockpit. "Hey Doctor, where are we?"
"We have landed on Narilda. It's sparsely populated, mostly jungle and ocean, and is rich in Ore-451, the key component to creating Nightmare jell. The Federation operates several mines on the other side of the planet."
"Is it likely they'll know we're here?"
"Maybe, maybe not. But any inconspicuousness won't last forever," he replied ominously. "The Federation has little presence on this side of the planet, beyond occasional inspections, which implies the nearby settlements will either be full of poor and starving civilians or a popular spot for thugs and law-disowning citizens. Given the scenery and the presence of a nightclub, this could be a potentially popular spot for tourists and organized crime, both of which could be dangerous for us."
Trio entered the cockpit. "2TH says he can get the Condor working again, but we're going to be stuck here for at least 24 hours. I'm going to go find the duct tape."